Issue 697 by David Magazine, INC

May 23 – 30 | 2012

Issue 697

David | Atlanta

Joseph Brownell | Arts & Entertainment Editor | Web & Social Media joseph@davidatlanta.com Kiki Carr | Art Director | Assistant Editor kiki@davidatlanta.com

Issue 697 | May 23 - 30 | 2012

Chip O’ Kelley | Operations chip@davidatlanta.com

David Magazine

650 Hamilton Ave. Suite H Atlanta, GA 30312 404.418.8901

Contents

Steve Tyrrell | Account Management steve@davidatlanta.com Sales Executives Bob Swanson | bob@davidatlanta.com Elijah Sarkesian | elijah@davidatlanta.com Tyler Ford | tyler@davidatlanta.com

8 WTF!?! Tidbits 10 Scene@ Hideaway 14 What A Girl Wants: Summer Wine 18 The Big Peach …slides home 22 MondoHomo Brings the Queer Revolution 28 TV Graveyard 36 Blockbuster Summer …or Busted Summer? 44 BarTab Map 46 BarTab Calendar 52 Scene@ Club Rush 58 Fairyscopes 59 Classifieds 60 Scene@ Jungle 62 Bitch Session

Writers Rian Ashlei Chris Azzopardi Corian Ellisor Richard Marshall Stasha Oakley Troy Ordami Elijah Sarkesian Columnists Luis Chiruco Dustin Shelby Brent Star Tristan Timothy Lucas Witherspoon Randall Carpenter | Photographer Julio Saldana | Photography Intern Jamie Scarbrough | IT Rivendell Media | National Ad Rep 908.232.203 Add us on Facebook! DavidAtlanta Add us on Twitter! DavidMagazineGA

The content of this Publication is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Magazine are not necessarily those of the Publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the Magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through this Publication meets your specific requirements. The Publication is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The Magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to the Publication, including but not limited to articles, advertisement, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of this Publication may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the Publisher. Unauthorized use of this Publication may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in the Publication is strictly at your own risk.

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WTF!?!? Tidbits The John Travolta case has taken an expected turn: Gloria Allred is now representing John Doe #1, the first masseur who publicly alleged he was groped by Travolta. Between the masseurs, John Travolta, and now the Head Stunt Queen, Gloria Allred, this case could not get any gayer. A photo of Dr. Oz from the April issue of Good

Housekeeping that appears to show him eating pasta with a boner has been making the Internet rounds. Here’s the thing: Dr. Oz used to be oddly sexual to me, but all of the talk of poop, hemorrhoids, and other lessthan-sexy topics of conversation on his show has just killed it for me. A Dr. Oz boner just grosses me out now.

A 45-minute J/O tape of Tyson Beckford is being shopped around. Tyson took to Twitter to say that the tape is “not much of a sex tape.” Tyson Beckford could be naked and writhing in mayonnaise and I’d still be all over it, so please, release the tape and let me be the judge.

Ryan Seacrest is reportedly buying Ellen DeGeneres’ Beverly Hills compound

for about $37 million (it was listed for $49 million). This is the man who introduced the world to the Kardashians. He should be exiled to a deserted island with them for the rest of his life, not luxuriating in $37 million mansions.

After weeks of rumors, Britney Spears and Demi Lovato

showed up to an X-Factor photo call, officially confirming that they’ll be joining the show as judges. I guess based on the fact Britney looks like she’s in a permanent Xanax haze, she’s the new Paula, and Demi must be the new Nicole Scherzinger (read: irrelevant).

LeAnn Rimes is apparently scared for her life because “Brandi [Glanville] has told LeAnn to her face multiple times that she would kill her if she could.” This is a woman who casually threatened to kill one of her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills castmates, so I really wouldn’t put it past her to shank the woman her husband was cheating on her with and eventually left her for. Regardless, I will forever love her for the iconic line, “Yeah, well at least I don’t do crystal meth in the bathroom all night long… bitch!” Linda Hogan has broken it off with her 23-year-old boyfriend, Charlie Hill… so I guess if you’re into middle-aged women with skin like beef jerky, you’re in luck.

by Lucas Witherspoon 8 | davidatlanta

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What a Girl Wants

The Perfect Summer Wine: 5 Rosés under $20

by Rian Ashlei

ew spirits announce the favored coming of sunny, blue summer skies, tanning season and drinking for the heck of it, the way a refreshing young Rosé does. Rosé gives a sense of place and season that reds and whites just can’t; and since the summer season draws nigh, I’ve created a list of five of my favorite Rosés to explore with friends and family on your front porch. I’ve also added some important wine facts so you can sound like a smarty-pants. Oh, and yes, all of these Rosés are under $20. Oh la la! Rosé is refreshing, pairs excellently with food, particularly seafood, fresh produce and olive oil based dishes. All the wines I have included come from France with the exception of one Sonoma County delight that was worthy of entering the ranks. They also all pair well with seafood, particularly grilled seafood and sushi, as well as fresh salads, pizza and even mild cheeses. Most noteable Rosés in France come from the Languedoc, Provence and the Rhône regions. They range in color from pale copper, to the traditional pink that comes to mind to almost a “very berry” red color…it just depends on the varietal and how long the juice has contact with the skin. The most common grape varietals used are Grenache, Syrah and Mourvèdre, though different regions make different allowances.

Here’s the list:

If I were to call this Rosé anything, I’d call it enchanting. This delightful, fruity Rosé is my absolute favorite. I took some to Miami for vacation and it went over VERY WELL with my folks. I almost cried red wine tears when we sold out of it at my store. Too easy to drink. Chateau Mourgues du Gres Costieres de Nimes 2011 “Les Galets Rosés” This baby is dry and taut and is a pretty pink salmon color. And yes, I am talking about the Rosé. Serve it slightly chilled. Domaine Houchart Rosé 2011 Cotes de Provence This pretty blush-colored Rosé smells like strawberries and raspberries with hints of savory spice on the palette. Domaine de Nizas Rosé 2011 Languedoc Honestly, it’s just delicious. Domaine Les Aphillanthes Rosé 2011 Cotes-du-Rhone And in the case of this particular California beauty, portions of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. So you can get your drink on in the name of good deeds. Belle Glos Brugioni Vineyard Rosé 2011 Sonoma County So get these summer sippers and others like them to cool your hot bod off during the summer months. They’ll be gone soon.

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The Big Peach …slides home

he Big Peach Co-Directors, Kyle Miller and Jay Malloy are proud to announce the 4th Annual Big Peach Atlanta Softball Tournament to be held over Memorial Day weekend. Each year Atlanta hosts a tournament which brings in over 1000 players and fans to play hard right here. The purpose of the tournament is to raise money for our local Atlanta Teams to support them in their journey to the annual Gay World Series. We also raise money to support the Georgia Coalition of Safe Schools with outreach to young LGBT students. This year we will have 47 teams traveling from the Northeast, Southwest, Midwest and the Southeast to compete in a 3 Division tournament play. Each division B, C and D is based upon the skill level of the players starting with D division which players have fewer skills and moving up to highly competitive play of the B division. We welcome all spectators to join us Saturday and Sunday, the games begin at 8 a.m. and go all day. For 2012 we have partnered with Pabst Blue Ribbon to have a PBR Peach Pit Tent set up for beer, food and the sounds of DJ Joey S. New this year to the fields are food trucks such as Nana G’s Chicken and Waffles. This year the event kicks off Thursday night at Woof’s for a Beer Bust and welcome party for the players starting at 6 pm. Friday night Aching muscles after the Big Peach Softball Tournament? Be sure to visit ONEnergy,LGBT-owned Massage & Acupuncture Studio in Midtown. Hotlanta Softball players & visitors, & David Readers get 20% off services. Call 404-944-8936 or visit www.energyacupuncturebysergio.com

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is a pre-party at Mixx Atlanta who will host the coaches meeting. The big event starts at Registration at Burkhart’s which begins at 6 pm. There is a shuttle for players staying at the host hotel, The Sheraton Downtown. The evening will get hot with the 3rd Annual Miss and Mr. Big Peach Contest hosted by Wild Cherry Sucret. Players from all over will come and put in their best drag to win cash and prizes worth $1000. Mr. Big Peach will show off the hot bodies of the players who look good in and out of their jerseys. You won’t want to miss this show. Saturday kicks off our Round Robin games at Metro 8a.m. with Sponsors such as Barry Domangue State Farm Agent providing volunteer staff and Emory University providing a first aid and cooling center pavilion. After the games Saturday take the shuttle from the host hotel to the Eagle Atlanta for Saturday party. Sunday tournament play continues until the championship games finish up and then the crews head to Heretic Atlanta for our closing ceremonies awards and celebration dance party all night long. The show kicks off at 9 pm with Atlanta’s very own Miriah headlining the show with special guest Gia Sunflower. Kyle and I would like to thank all of our sponsors. Hob Nob, Frogs Midtown, Coca-Cola, Brushstrokes, Metrotainment Cowtippers, The Hideaway, Mixx, Burkharts, Heretic, The Eagle and Woof’s Atlanta. Please join us for the weekend of events, what a great time to meet new people and build new friendships. 2012 Big Peach Atlanta Softball Tournament May 26 & 27 – Metro Atlanta Softball Complex 7301 Campbellton Road Atlanta Georgia 30331 Hosted by the Hotlanta Softball League Member of the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance

Saturday, June 2, 2012 7pm • Atlantic Station (at the former Fox Grill)

Tickets:

SHOW US YOUR FAIRY TALE HAIR!

In Advance: $30 / $60 VIP At The Door: $35 (with Wig) $40 (without Wig) / $75 VIP Host Packages: $550

agmchorus.org 404-320-1030

Presented by

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Mondo Homos

by Cat Maddox

nderlying the promised “live Grindr app,” the artist lineup, and sheer “queertastic”-ness of MondoHomo, the four-day queer arts festival in its sixth year, is the strong sense of community amongst the organizers, or “posse,” as they refer to one other. This sense of “community” to which the MondoHomo organizers repeatedly refer is a tangible one, specifically cultivated by the grassroots history of the festival. The posse continues their dedicated grind with MondoHomo 2012, garnering support of local businesses to create a non-corporate, all-inclusive space for exhibits, shows, and dance parties. This week David discusses with MondoHomos Jesse Morgan, Edric Figueroa, Lauren MacDonald, and Britt Dunn, memories of go-go dancing afterparties, what a Traindroid is, and ultimately how the hassles of organizing are worth it for the opportunity of putting on what is essentially gay Christmas, or a family reunion, or whichever least problematic metaphor evokes feelings of celebration and home.

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nly five years ago, Jesse Morgan was dancing in his skivvies for fellow organizers and other dedicated barflies at Mary’s, the last people remaining at the bar as MondoHomo’s second year came to a close. “At the Mondo finale I danced on the go-go box and just made tips, but the posse was just taking money and putting it in my underwear and taking it out and putting it back,” Morgan laughs. That was 2008, when Morgan, now one of the festival’s lead organizers, was a first-time volunteer - working the door, cleaning up, and selling merch. But his experience went beyond menial duties; the many roundtables at former MondoHomo meeting ground Manuel’s Tavern created a formative experience for Morgan. In 2009 Morgan was living in Savannah, one of five politically active alterna-queers who put up flyers for MondoHomo in the city. From the land of live oaks and Spanish moss, he still kept up with his Atlanta counterparts. Duplicating what he calls “the MondoHomo model” in Savannah, Morgan headed up a

Double Duchess photos by Robbie Sweeny

successful Queer Power March in 2010 and an afterparty where Tampa’s Jeremy Gloff and ATL’s Athens Boys Choir performed. MondoHomo organizers Nikki Chotas and Vagina Jenkins traveled to Savannah in support of the event. Having Ms. Jenkins in the audience was impactful for Morgan. Ms. Jenkins also ushered Morgan into his first MondoHomo meeting in 2008. He recalls seeing her and knowing he was in the right place. Morgan moved back to Atlanta in late 2010 to attend Georgia State University and by January 2011 organized Queerlicious Mouths Unite, what would have been a presence of same-sex couples kissing in the crowd during Governor Nathan Deal’s inauguration. Unfortunately, Atlanta’s “Snowpocalypse” prevented the inauguration from being held in a public space, and the protest was cancelled. However, the event had drawn support from Kiki Carr, one of MondoHomo’s founders and organizers, and soon Morgan was asked to be one of MondoHomo’s lead organizers. While he “wasn’t prepared for what that meant” at the time, Morgan agreed to it. The next six months Morgan spent working, taking night classes, and planning the festival with Carr. Morgan says of his time-consuming preparation with Carr, “We would literally be on G-chat for the entire day. I would have my browser open and then my supervisor would come around and we would use code words to stop.” Having taken on even more responsibility for MondoHomo 2012, Morgan seems a natural leader. With Carr out of town for the festival, he is feeling very focused. “I’m always told not to do this but it’s just a part of my personality that whenever I put my blood, sweat, tears into something it’s very personal to me. The success of the event, how the event happens, all of those things are very connected to my emotions, so I’m looking forward to seeing how I do during Memorial Day weekend.”

ike Morgan, Vagina Jenkins was part of Edric Figueroa’s first encounter with MondoHomo, four years later. A first generation Peruvian from White Plains, New York, Figueroa heard about the Festival through his then-boyfriend while living in the Canton, Georgia suburbs. “He was like, ‘There’s this festival called MondoHomo that’s indie and queer and I know

that those are two things that you like, so I’ll take you there sometime.’ He never ended up taking me there because for starters, the relationship never lasted that long, but ever since then it’s been on my mind.” Figueroa didn’t end up needing much help finding his own way to MondoHomo. As an intern for AID Atlanta in 2011, he was scheduled to do outreach at MondoHomo’s Park Day, and decided to attend the rest of the festival. Figueroa had never seen burlesque before seeing Jenkins’ performance. He remembers, “Vagina was amazing. At the time I was the kind of gay boy who had only been to drag shows, so I was comparing it to drag in my head, only to read later about the history of burlesque, and I don’t think you can compare the two. I liked also that it incorporated rock music and burlesque all in one night.” While he doesn’t recall what band played that night, it was ultimately the exposure to the underground music of the festival, and the gathering of queer youth, that appealed strongly to him. Figueroa says, “When I finally got here last year, it was like, ‘This is what I’ve been missing for so long.’ That’s why I was so eager to get involved on the organizing team, and I’m happy I did.” Do not let the eagerness of the 22-year-old “gayby” fool you. With a background organizing for the Student Queer Alternatives Program, he is

MondoHomo2012QueerFest @ Arts Exchange, 750 Kalb Street SE, 30312 $25 Fest Pass • www.mondohomo.com ALL AGES • All Events Pay-What-You-Can

Thursday, May 24 • FREE 7pm Queers on the New Frontier Art opening 8:30pm HomoSpoken: Word! 11pm Mondo Dance Off! @ Mary’s

Friday, May 25 • 7:30pm Whose Beats? OUR Beats! queer bands • $15

Saturday, May 26 11am Skillshare & Brunch • FREE 6pm Mondo Variety Show & Revue • $15

Sunday, May 27 • FREE 1pm Mondo Meadow • park day 8pm Mondo Sashay @ Mary’s davidatlanta | 23

Atlanta band-cum-performance group The Back Pockets headlines Saturday of MondoHomo. well-versed in challenging military recruiters who target kids at low-income high schools. “In more or less words, we didn’t want to say, ‘Oh, the military is evil,’ to these students,” Figueroa explains, “just that they had options, because we didn’t want anyone else going to war. It was based in the Quaker organization that is all about ending war and all about peace.” Combine the ways of this peaceful warrior with Ria Pell’s booking requirements for bands, which, according to Figueroa, are “not about the lead singer getting his dick sucked every once in a while or them sucking someone else’s dick, but about empowering the community,” and you have the fierce duo in charge of this year’s “revolution you can dance to,” headlined by San Fransisco bounce artist Double Dutchess. According to Figueroa, he and Pell were excited from the beginning to include local acts KIN4LIFE and the Back Pockets in their lineup. “They are growing names here in Atlanta who bring with them other parts of the queer community we might not be able to reach, and I feel like music is really a way to bridge communities and help bring people together.”

n 2007, Lauren MacDonald was not at all tired of her friends, but the desire to meet new ones was what drew her to a MondoHomo meeting.

“I had just moved back to Atlanta from Athens, and I had some friends here but I didn’t really know anyone that I didn’t know before I had moved. So I dragged my best friend to one of the first meetings at Manuel’s Tavern, and it was packed with all of these people I had never seen before. I was very intrigued and excited.” Although MacDonald was unable to attend much

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of the first festival due to a family reunion and missed all of the second and third for work, the interior designer finally was able to attend all of MondoHomo in 2010. “The vastness of it had scaled back significantly, but the energy level was still very high,” she muses, remarking on both the length of the festival as well as number of venues. In MacDonald’s opinion, this was the right direction for MondoHomo to be heading, and why she is very excited that the Arts Exchange is serving as a “home base” for this year’s festival. Curator of the art exhibition this year, MacDonald feels the best place for MondoHomo is “in an art physical space. Something that’s more dedicated to the practice of art than, say, a bar. That is the ideal situation.” MacDonald is most excited about the Queer Zine Arts Project, which will be displaying ‘zines made specifically in and about the South, but also digitally archiving them and making them available for download. For those belonging to the post-Facebook era or just out to lunch for the nineties, MacDonald spells it out: “’Zines were these self-made publications that really spanned everything from comic books to independent journalism to memoir to poetry to sex manual to literature that definitely formed the basis of a lot of queer culture. At a time where there just wasn’t a lot of queer visibility, it was just something that people were compelled to do - compelled to communicate with each other, and compelled to express themselves in these booklets.” As for MondoHomo’s evolution over the past six years, MacDonald waxes sentimental.

“I want to focus on what hasn’t changed. While our lives have changed a lot in the past six years, Mondo Homo is almost like homo Christmas or like a family reunion, rather, to make it not so religion specific. Regardless of whose name is on the Marquee or how many artists are in the exhibition, or if we’re doing a film screening, or a theater piece or a haunted house like this year, it’s always going to be something different. But the sense of community that it’s building is always the same, and seeing the same faces and new faces is always going to be the best part.”

ondering what a trandroid is? Because Britt Dunn’s Trandroids movie debuting at MondoHomo is getting all sorts of hype. A trandroid is a cyborg whose brain has been deprogrammed. While many are referring to it as “transdroids,” the premise is actually about gender, not sex. Dunn informs, “The cyborgs remove their gender programming in order to alleviate the structures, the limitations of gender binary, how gender is part of structuring society.” The Georgia State Grad in Film and Video Production shot his 20-minute thesis project with the help of friends and local actors, to whom he admittedly owes “a lot of favors - with moving or any unpleasant task.” The reason behind Dunn’s pledge is because, in true-testof-friendship-fashion, he shot in “a location with no plumbing, no heat, no electricity, and it was in the winter of the Snowpocalypse. “We finished the very last shot as snow started coming through the hole in the ceiling. It was the most decrepit location, which was great for set dressing- I didn’t have to do much to make the building looked abandoned and skuzzy- but it sure was tough on the crew. It was just so cold.” Dunn laughs at the rumor that “everyone in Atlanta” is in the movie, but concedes, “pretty much.” Most of the actors will be viewing it for the first time with the MondoHomo crowd. Aside from being a director whose thesis is now on the festival circuit, Dunn has been the volunteer coordinator and housing coordinator for the past five years of MondoHomo. As such, he wishes to recognize the end of an era. “We’re saying goodbye to one of the organizers who has been there for the entire, the whole six years, one of [MondoHomo’s] founders, Ria Pell. I give a lot of thanks for her, you have been here for us for so long. Mad props.” davidatlanta | 25

By Maximillian Corwell very year we are left in suspense, as our favorite TV shows wrap up and leave us on cliff hangers for next season. Unfortunately, TV economics come into play and we know that sometimes our favorite shows don’t get a chance to finish their story. They get cancelled instead. While the television industry is here t o entertain the masses, they are a business first and foremost, and now it is time to see if your favorite show will be back this fall, or if it has moved on… to the TV Graveyard.

ABC:

Farewell Cougar Town! Well, kinda anyways. The ill-fated Courteney Cox comedy was given the ax from ABC after a shortened and delayed third season failed to bring in the viewers. Good news though, TBS has decided to pick up the series so Penny Can will live on, thanks to our own Turner neighbors.

Another shocking cancellation for ABC was freshman dramedy GCB. The Kristen Chenoweth show had a quirky plot, but failed to go anywhere too quickly after a lack luster premiere in viewership. The show had promise but may have been better suited for a summer slot on the alphabet network than the very difficult Sunday night slot. Sunday boasts strong competition with

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cable and premium network shows. We will miss those Texas girls – but I am sure we will see plenty of new female-led dramas next season on ABC (Nashville). Other highlights include Revenge moving to a new night! Find it in the old Desperate Housewives slot at 9pm on Sundays, right after Once Upon a Time. Cancelled ABC Shows: Pan Am, Charlie’s Angels, Work It!, Missing, Man Up, The River, GCB, Desperate Hosuewives (Final season)

FOX:

Oh Fringe, you are like a cat with nine lives! This incredibly well written show has virtually no viewers, and Fox loses money on every episode. Lots of money. However, executives believe in the show and want to give it a proper farewell (which, lets be honest, is something most shows never get – ahem, Firefly). Fringe will come back for a final 13 episodes this fall. Fox had a rough year with its new dramas, because all of them were cancelled except Touch. The Kiefer Sutherland show inspired audiences for the first few episodes, but the show‘s ratings have quickly plummeted as viewers lost interest. Fox wants to give the show a chance though, on Friday nights. Most shows aired on Friday have one foot in the TV Graveyard. Why do Friday shows seem to fail? Television economics states that shows need people to watch the show live (not back on the DVR or online) to make money. Friday nights are when we are partying, not watching TV. If I were a betting man, I would say Touch will get a full 22 episodes next season, before it is cancelled. Cancelled Fox Shows: I Hate My Teenage Daughter, Breaking In, Allen Gregory, The Finder, Terra Nova, Alcatraz, Napoleon Dynamite, House (Final Season)

THE CW:

The troubled network has seen rock-bottom ratings across all of their shows this past season. Many experts thought the network would do a clean sweep and cancel almost everything in an attempt to revive the network. The WB had a string of hit shows (Dawson’s Creek, Charmed, etc) but the CW has failed to live up to the WB glory days. The most notable showdown came between The Secret Circle and Nikita. The freshman series, The Secret Circle, was paired with the hit show The Vampire Diaries, however Circle focused more on gossipy teenagers and less on magic. By the time they managed to make the show more about magic, it was too late to cast a spell on audiences. Nikita however has performed solidly on the CW Friday nights and was brought back for season 3. Don’t mess with the kick ass Maggie Q, she will always win. Also we bid adieu to Sarah Michelle Gellar and Ringer. Au revoir! Cancelled CW Shows: The Secret Circle, Ringer, One Tree Hill (final season)

CBS:

Infamous for its CSI spinoffs, CBS had to let one of them go. It was a showdown between CSI: NY and CSI: Miami, and David Caruso lost the battle. Miami has been sent to the TV Graveyard. On the bright side, The Good Wife, which has been so close to cancellation we were designing its headstone for the TV Graveyard, has been renewed for another season, which pushes the series to syndication (meaning big bucks for the network). Cancelled CBS Shows: A Gifted Man, NYC 22, CSI: Miami, Unforgettable, How to be a Gentleman, Rob

NBC:

Oh NBC, another troubled network trying to grasp at straws to make a profit right now. With stunted ratings, aging comedies, and lackluster new shows, it seems like not much is going right for the peacock network. Can next year help propel them to their former glory days? The biggest news coming from NBC is that Smash, which is renewed for season 2, will not come back until early 2013 instead of fall. Why push one of their most anticipated shows back that far? Apparently in order to give the show a chance to reorganize and rebuild its plot and flailing story lines, which is desperately needed. Nobody cares about the sub plots of the show, just stick to showing us the juicy drama with Bombshell. And get rid of that Ellis guy. Other highlights from NBC, The Voice will be giving fans a double dose as they premiere their first fall cycle, as well as another cycle in the spring. Community and Whitney have both been moved to Friday nights. Cancelled NBC shows: Prime Suspect, Bent, Best Friends Forever, The Firm, Harry’s Law, Free Agents, The Playboy Club, Awake, Are You There Chelsea?, Chuck (Final Season) Was your favorite show cancelled? Sound off at www. davidatlanta.com or email the author max@davidatlanta. com.

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Summer 2012 Blockbuster Summer …or Busted Summer?

by Joseph Brownell

tudios are busy advertising the summer movie season. Trailers are being pieced together, ad campaign assaults launched and social media blitzes blazing in hopes of luring you out to the movies this summer. While there are some definite hits on the horizon, we have to wonder if Hollywood isn’t banking too heavily on a few films to carry the summer through to blockbuster earnings.

Superhero Summer The Dark Knight Rises (July 20th): The final installment of Christopher Nolan’s Batman reboot is probably the most anticipated film of the year. Its predecessors, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, have rocked the box office with the latter garnering over $1 billion in box offices sales worldwide. The plot details 40 | davidatlanta

of Rises are being kept under wraps but be assured that Nolan, who brought you Memento and Inception, will have a WHAM! BAM! HOLY BATBALLS roller coaster ride planned for the end of this trilogy. We’re slightly unsure of the Anne Hathaway casting – personally we’re still sipping from our Batman Returns Taco Bell Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman cup – but we’ll see. The Amazing Spider-Man (July 3rd): Let’s admit the previous Spider-Man franchise had run its course and with the flailing musical constantly in the news, this is one masked man who is in need of a superhero himself. Hoping to benefit from a reboot, the film stars Andrew Garfield (The Social Network) as Peter Parker and the dazzling Emma Stone (The Help, Easy A) as his love interest Gwen Stacy. The studio is gambling with a love interest that is only familiar to comic book fans, but director Marc Webb, who directed (500) Days of Summer, has the aptitude to make audiences care. Only time will tell if moviegoers

will have superhero hangover after The Avengers and their anticipation for The Dark Knight Rises.

Pop Star Promise Studios are hoping that both Rihanna and Katy Perry’s popularity will help draw fans into the movies this summer. While Rihanna has a better chance than Perry of being involved in a blockbuster hit, we’re on the fence as to whether these films will find love in a hopeless place. Rihanna stars in Battleship (May 18th). Yes, the Hasbro ‘I sunk your battleship’ game. While the film promises Titanic effects, it may sink pretty fast after opening weekend. The film does star True Blood’s Alexander Skarsgard so we’ll definitely be hitting the theater with our Skarsgard/Military fantasies in tow. On the other side of the stage, pop princess Katy Perry is hoping you’ll buy a part of her when her concert film Part of Me opens in theaters July 4th. Perry’s videos have always been entertaining (“Last Friday Night”) and visually stimulating (“E.T.”) and it seems she’s beaten Hasbro to the 3-D Candy Land punch, but the main questions on our mind is what really happened with Russell Brand. Not sure Perry is ready to share that part of her!?

Lions, Dinosaurs, Aliens… Oh My! What’s a summer without lions, dinosaurs and aliens? First up, the summer movie schedule is notorious for taking advantage of the time that most of the kids are out of school. So if animation is your thing or you want to take your child, niece or nephew to the movies, this is the time to do it. Madagascar 3 (June 8th) and Ice Age: Continental Drift (July 13th) are sure to please adults just as much as the kids. If Hollywood has taught us one thing, it’s if we’re ever attacked by another species it will be in the summer. Aliens must dislike our cold winters because we’re always hit over the head with beings from other planets during the summer months. First up, Men in Black 3 (May 25th). Sure MIB3 holds some nostalgia but c’mon, it was the 90s when the first MIB hit theaters. Has too much time passed since the last one for moviegoers to care? Second up is the geek-fantasy Prometheus. Ridley Scott’s is-it-or-isn’t-it? Alien prequel has assaulted the web with viral campaigns and while its plot details are also being kept under wraps, fans of Alien are already being promised that they’ll be rewarded in “the final 12 minutes”. davidatlanta | 41

The film stars Charlize Theron, hot and hung actor Michael Fassbender and Dragon’s original kickass Lisbeth Salander, Noomi Rapace.

Perry’s films are a hit with all audiences and the always funny Madea is sure to help bring Perry another box office hit.

Hot… and Hung

Remakes, Reboots… Ruined?

Okay, we can attest to the first, but we pray that the cast of Magic Mike (June 29th) are endowed in both areas. Magic Mike has the hottest cast of the summer, hands down. Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey, Matthew Bomer, Joe Manganiello and Alex Pettyfer, star in this film that is loosely based upon Tatum’s pre-film career as a male stripper. We eagerly await the DVD with deleted scenes; maybe even a casting couch.

While the Bond franchise has done an amazing job at recasting its lead over the years, Matt Damon will always be Jason Bourne. That’s why it’s hard to imagine Jeremy Renner assuming a new role in this summer’s Bourne Legacy (August 3rd). Renner usually plays support (MI:4, The Town), so we’re curious whether he’ll be able to carry this franchise. Regardless, a smart story and some kick-ass action may be all moviegoers are looking for when it comes to a Bourne film.

Calling All Atlantans Several films this summer have hometown connections. First up, many flocked to Smith’s Olde Bar when Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz were on set for the ensemble comedy What to Expect When You’re Expecting (May 18th). Sometimes having a star-studded cast can bring box office receipts past the $100 million mark, sometimes it doesn’t (see Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve respectively). Studios take note: one sure way to ensure box office receipts is to charge pregnant women for two tickets since their unborn child will be in attendance. Tyler Perry is at it again this summer when Madea houses a Ponzi-scheming Wall Street criminal (played by the hilarious Eugene Levy) in Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection (June 29th).

Also In the remake category this summer is Total Recall (also released August 3rd). While the remake promises a whole new spin on the original, we can’t help but wonder if this is a film that needed a remake. When will Hollywood stop regurgitating films and seek out original content that forces moviegoers to use its brains and imaginations? Recall features Colin Farrell and Jessica Biel (yawn) but also Kate Beckinsale who has the proven ability to carry an action franchise on her own (Underworld). Outside of the action genre and on the saddening side, Whitney Houston’s final film is set to be released this summer. Sparkle (August 17th), a remake of the 1970’s film of the same name, also stars Idol’s Jordin Sparks. The praise for her performance in Sparkle leaves us hoping that davidatlanta | 43

her legacy ends soaring. Plans to remake this film have been around for over a decade with Aaliyah initially tied to the project, an eerie fact.

Funky Bunch (Family Guy’s Seth McFarlane and Community’s Joel McHale) are guaranteed to keep you laughing.

Laughing all the Way …to the Bank

Steve Carell stars in two films this summer. First up, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (June 22nd) stars the delightful, if not awkward, Keira Knightley. In Friend, Knightley and Carell forge a bond in a road trip during the last days of earth. The film also stars Connie Britton. Carell is either hit or miss at the box office and if we had to guess Friend will miss while Hope Springs (August 10th) will hit. Hope has Carell playing marriage counselor to Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones who spend a weekend trying to save their 30-year marriage. Hope also stars the incomparable Jean Smart, who after Annie Potts’ dazzling turn in the now defunct GCB, has us clamoring for a Designing Women marathon.

Summer is synonymous with comedy. From the time we were kids we were taught that summer is the season for fun so movie studios definitely bring the funny. Whatever your politics, we’re gearing up for a messy season as Republicans and Democrats fight for control of the White House. Both The Dictator (May 16th) and The Campaign (August 10th) aim for humor and laughing audiences. In the vein of the successful Borat (and not so successful Bruno), Sacha Baron Cohen has been rallying press for his latest character-driven film since the Academy Awards. Even with a role in the wildly successful Hugo, not sure how audiences are receiving Cohen these days. The Campaign starring Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis trading barbs and trying to derail each other’s campaigns promises to be much funnier. The fact that these guys are playing Republicans is sure to give liberal voters something to laugh at this election season. Mark Wahlberg rarely shows off his comedic skills so we’re totally stoked for Ted (June 29th), a story about a grown man whose foul-mouthed, childhood Teddy bear (creatively named Ted) causes problems with his life and relationship with Mila Kunis. Marky Mark and his comedic

Other films to consider: GI Joe: Retaliation (June 22nd): The first wasn’t a flop but it wasn’t a hit. Channing Tatum reprises his role (who knows for how long) but we’d much rather see Magic Mike. Snow White and the Huntsman (June 1st): Once Upon a Time a hit; Mirror, Mirror not so much. If Kristin Stewart can translate Twilight success here, this Snow could be the fairest of them all. If not, Charlize Theron as the evil queen may be wicked enough to buy a ticket. Rock of Ages (June 15th): Throw some hair metal and some age behind Glee and you’ll have Rock of Ages. Musicals are hit or miss as are ensemble pieces. We fear Rock may actually only be one-note. davidatlanta | 45

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CHESHIRE BRIDGE / PIEDMONT / BUCKHEAD C1 Beluga Martini Bar 3115 Piedmont Rd www. belugamartinibar.com C2 BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www. myspace.com/bjroostersatl C3 Bliss Atlanta 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www. blissofatlanta.com C4 Club Rush (formerly Chaparral) 2715 Buford Hwy www.chaparralalternative.com C5 Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.hereticatlanta.com C6 Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. www.jungleclubatlanta. com C7 Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www. lasmargaritasmidtown.com C36 Mood Lounge 3081 E. Shadowlawn Ave. NE C8 Opus 1 1086 Alco St. C9 Tripps 1931 Piedmont Circle www.trippsatlanta. com C10 Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd NE www.woofsatlanta. com C11 Gravity Fitness 201 Faulkner Rd. www. gravityatl.com C12 Manifest4U 2103 Faulkner Rd. www. manifest4u.org C13 Southern Nights Videos 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.southernnights.com MIDTOWN & WESTSIDE M14 Blakes on the Park 227 10th St. www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com M15 Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. M16 Daiquiri Factory 889 W. Peachtree St., 30309 facebook.com/pages/The-Daiquiri-Factory M17 Gilberts 219 10th St. www.gilbertscafe.com M18 Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St www.joesonjuniper.com M19 Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. www. swingingrichards.com M20 XS Ultra Lounge 708 Spring St., 30308 www. traxxatlanta.com M21 Flex 76 4th St. www.flexbaths.com

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map ANSLEY A22 Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. www.amsterdamatlanta.com A23 Burkhart’s 1492 Piedmont Ave. www.burkharts. com A24 Felix’s 1510 Piedmont Ave A25 Mixx 1492 Piedmont Ave - B www.mixxatlanta. com A26 Oscars Atlanta 1510 Piedmont Ave NE www. oscarsatlanta.com A27 The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Rd NE, Suite 124 www.atlantahideaway.com A28 Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. www.brushstrokesatlanta.com A29 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. www. boynextdoor.biz PONCE P30 Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce de Leon Ave. www. atlantaeagle.com P31 Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce de Leon Ave. www.friendsonponce-atl.com P32 Model T’s 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE #11 www. modeltatlanta.com P30 Rawhide Leather at the Eagle 404.881.0031 EAST ATLANTA E33 Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. www.marysatlanta. com E34 My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave www. mysistersroom.com E35 The Cockpit 465 Boulevard Ave. www. thecockpit-atlanta.blogspot.com OTHER LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd SE # A-10 www.thenewlebuzz.com

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map | BARTAB

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calendar@davidatlanta.com

calendar MONDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK Brain Freeze Trivia w/ Mary Edith Pitts @ 11pm $250 prize, then New Drag on the Edge w/ Shawnna Brooks COCKPIT Big Red Cup Mondays All Day & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm EAGLE Comedy TV- Free Pool FELIX’S Free Pool FRIENDS ON PONCE Bad Boy Brian opens at 2pm HERETIC Come play with Eddie 4pm-11pm HIDEAWAY $2.50 Domestic Beer JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm MODEL T’S Wheel of ? with Elvis 9pm TUESDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK I Gotta Sing! Hosted by Jerry Cyccone (Karaoke) 11pm Club Rush HipHop til 4am, $5 COCKPIT DUDE: 80s Party, 9pm & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm EAGLE Tuesdays with Tony FELIX’S Smirnoff Martini Night FRIENDS ON PONCE Let’s Make a Deal 6pm HERETIC Two step Tuesday free 2 step lessons 8pm open dance till 11pm HIDEAWAY Service Industry Night Employee Prices. Trivia w/ Will 9pm MODEL T’S Texas Hold’em Poker 9:30pm SWINGING RICHARDS No Cover Before Midnight, $5 After WEDNESDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK 5-9pm Doug’s Mid-Week Weekend party pop hits, Feathers & Flesh Revue 11pm COCKPIT Balls Deep Karaoke, 10pm with Mikey and Wesley & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm EAGLE 80’s Music with Travis FRIENDS ON PONCE Team Trivia 8pm HERETIC H.U.M.P. Dress Code Party w/ DJ Lydia Prim. 25¢ Keystone Light Draft all night long. No Cover!

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HIDEAWAY Craps & Blackjack with Miss Lauren MODEL T’S Virtually Famous Karaoke with Pat & Tina 10pm SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP Room XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX Raquell Lord’s The Main Event Talent Show @ 10:30pm, Sign Up by 9:45pm. Also Sophia Mcintosh & The Fabulous 5 +1 @11:30pm, 18+ THURSDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK $5 burgers all day, Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm, Shawnna Factor Show 11pm COCKPIT Dirty Boy Bingo, 9pm w/ Ruby Redd EAGLE Karaoke with Mikey FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm FRIENDS ON PONCE Where Girls Who Like Girls Meet Girls all night HERETIC 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm. Free Dance Lessons 8-9pm. No Cover! HIDEAWAY Levi & Leather Night JUNGLE Cherry Pop Thursday! LAS MARGARITAS Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm MODEL T’S Wheel of ? with Michael 9pm SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP Room & 2-4-1 Door Entry XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX Turnt Up Thursday, No Cover, Hip Hop, Rnb & Reggae FRIDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK 5-9pm TGIF with Doug & Max, 1/2 price appetizers Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix 10:30pm Club Rush Got Leche? til 4am, $10 COCKPIT DJ Diablo Rojo + guest VJ’s & DJ’s EAGLE DJ Dance Party FELIX’S Bartenders Serve It Up! FRIENDS ON PONCE Happy Times with Bad Boy Brian & Ken HERETIC Dj Lydia Prim no cover B4 11pm

HIDEAWAY After Work Martini Madness JUNGLE Club Night, Various DJ’s MODEL T’S Morning Bagels / Texas Hold’em Poker 9:30pm SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover SATURDAY Club Rush Dance Party COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s (resident DJ Diablo Rojo) BLAKES ON THE PARK Pitcher Perfect afternoon Absolut cocktails by the pitcher, Jealouse’s Daring Divas 10:30pm EAGLE DJ Dance Party FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm FRIENDS ON PONCE Open @ noon with Bob Brewer HERETIC Varies: Club Night or 3 Legged Cowboy Night - 10pm JUNGLE Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s. MODEL T’S Sexy & Know it Party 9pm SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX Man 2 Man, Free 4 Men 25+ B4 12am SUNDAY Armorettes Drag Show at Burkhart’s BLAKES ON THE PARK Sunday Funday DJ Bill Berdeaux 3pm, DJ Daryl Cox 7pm Club Rush Hip Hop w DJ Truz, no cover COCKPIT PBR Beer Bust -- Open & Pouring FELIX’S Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers FRIENDS ON PONCE Bad Boy Brian’s Smirnoff B Mary Bar 12:30pm HIDEAWAY Make Your Own Bloody Mary Bar 12:30pm LAS MARGARITAS All You Can Eat Brunch 11am-3pm MODEL T’S Sunday Dinner with Ron 3:30pm

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FairyScopes

ARIES (March 20 – April 19): New information, important as it is, points to a more important larger picture. Don’t get too hung up on details. Taking the broad view is worth the effort. Keeping cool at work is a challenge too, but could get you a raise. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Even with good reason to feel sure of yourself, cockiness can stir up arguments with your partner. Is financial stress driving your competitiveness or the other way around? Don’t jones on keeping up with the Joneses!

GEMINI (May 21- June 20): Instincts to keep quiet are good, but temporary. When you get the urge to talk, first employ your partner as an editor. Being mature and responsible, especially with information, is not only effective, but could prove to be fun. CANCER (June 21- July 22): A breakthrough in old memories is just the beginning of illumination. Work with that information and get some real insight. Balance your social activities with time alone to charge your batteries. If you wear out so will your welcome. LEO (July 23 – August 22): Strictly speaking friendship is a benefit. You and a pal may have some confusion about what benefits are included. Awkward? For a bit. True friendship endures much worse. Dreams of future accomplishments are nice. Doing it now is better. VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Promoting your own ideas can take you far. Listening to new ones can help you get further. The next few weeks are excellent for work, but don’t neglect issues at home. Invite the boss home (or somewhere) for dinner. LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): Nobody is right all the time; admitting when you’re wrong makes you right more often. Staying one step ahead of your partner is not acting as a team. If you must be competitive, make it the two of you against the world. SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): Arguments at work could get worse over the coming months. Your real brilliance will show when you challenge your own ideas. Think hard about where you want to be in two years and how you need to adapt to get there.

Scopes brought to you by Jack Fertig, professional astrologer since 1977. Visit his website at www.starjack.com. 62 | davidatlanta

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): Devotion to your partner could come across as bossiness. Devote some attention to yourself! If you’re single, speed dating could prove amusing. Even if you don’t find The One you could meet lots of interesting folks. CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Connections you’ve been building with colleagues need repair. That will take time. A sense that they’re not reliable is probably more about miscommunications than intent. Talking with them is part of the solution, but first look inside yourself for keys to the problem. AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Anxieties can be a great source of creative expression. The next few years will be difficult but even in your pessimism a clear idea of the dangers ahead can offer a clue to making the most of it. PISCES (February 19 – March 19): Nestling into cozy domestic fantasies will only create trouble and confusion. Express your ideals and your dreams with your family or roomies, clear up misconceptions, and take responsibility for creating a cozy domestic reality.

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I hope I didn’t offend you; I really already thought you knew you were stupid.

Grindr xtra = waste of money To the guy in the bar who thinks he looks like Adam Lambert. You don’t, and not to mention doing coke in the bathroom isn’t a weight loss program. Stop acting like a 16-year-old school girl and grow the fuck up. Oh, and you can’t sing. I can’t wait for X Factor now. I can relive my childhood with the Britney vs. Xtina war again!

Hmmm… so the trick I brought home left a $50 bill on my dresser and snuck out last night. Did I just get paid for sex? Damnit.

You must have a low opinion of people if you think they’re your equals. Don’t be jealous that you see all the opportunities you lost in me. Not my fault you became a drunken low life and I became successful. Bloop!

#TEAMTWINKS I thought of you all day when I was at the zoo.

Some guys have ugly looking dicks. That is why I ask for dick pics upfront! Damn, this workout was a waste of time since I forgot to tell all my Facebook friends about it.