Issue 702 by David Magazine, INC

Issue 702 June 27 – July 4 | 2012

$10 beer buSt

Celebrating trout Water Polo’s

Silver Medal!

The Atlanta Rainbow Trout water polo team took home Silver at IGLA World Championships! Come celebrate their success at F.R.O.G.S. Cantina in Midtown. Your $10 donation will get all you can drink beer from 3 – 7 p.m. Location: F.R.O.G.S. 931 Monroe Dr. Atlanta, GA 30308 Date: Saturday, June 30 Time: 3 – 7 p.m. Cost: $10 donation

Facebook.com/ATLRainbowTrout AtlantaRainbowTrout.com

David Atlanta

Maximillian Corwell | Editor-in-Chief max@davidatlanta.com

Issue 3 | June 27 – July 4 | 2012

DRT Media Group 404.418.8901

Contents

8 WTF!?! 11 Scene@ Peach Party 15 WTF!?! Tidbits 19 Get Out of Town! Local Getaways 22 The Next Emerging Gay Destinations 28 What A Girl Wants: July 4th Party Planning 34 BarTab Map: Guide to Gay Atlanta 36 BarTab Week: Calendar 41 Cirque Du Soleil’s Michael Jackson Tour 43 Protect Your Monster | A Couple of Gays 44 Scene@ TaTaPalooza 47 Top 10 Tracks 48 La Nota Rosa 53 Scene@ Peach Party 57 Creep of the Week: Joe Haveman 58 Fairyscopes 60 Classifieds 61 Scene@ East Point Possums 62 Bitch Session

Chip O’ Kelley | Operations chip@davidatlanta.com Steve Tyrrell | Account Management steve@davidatlanta.com Writers Rian Ashlei Chris Azzopardi Corian Ellisor Van Gower Catherine Maddox Stasha Oakley Columnists Luis Chiruco Richard Marshall Dustin Shelby Brent Star Lucas Witherspoon Photographers Randall Carpenter Rory Evans Julio Saldana Jamie Scarbrough | IT Rivendell Media | National Ad Rep 908.232.203 Add us on Facebook! DavidAtlanta Add us on Twitter! DavidMagazineGA

The content of this Publication is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Magazine are not necessarily those of the Publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the Magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through this Publication meets your specific requirements. The Publication is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The Magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to the Publication, including but not limited to articles, advertisement, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of this Publication may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the Publisher. Unauthorized use of this Publication may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in the Publication is strictly at your own risk.

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WTF!?!?

Religion is no excuse for homophobia

he gay community is made up of many facets, but the sector that perhaps absolutely perturbs me the most are the “ex-gays.” While they may no longer identify themselves as members of the LGBT community and make up a small portion of it, they unfortunately still have influence over us in. How many times have you heard some anti-gay zealot reference “ex-gay” therapy or conversion methods in a conversation about the gay community? For a notion long debunked by the scientific and psychological communities, not to mention anyone with common sense, I personally find myself battling the myth far too often. The majority of those seeking ex-gay therapy, which has and sometimes still does included things like being injected with nausea-inducing medication or shock therapy, do so based on why they believe to be morally correct. There is a clear distinction between morality and religion, but all too often people derive their morality from religion, which is why there is such an enormous anti-gay sentiment that comes from religious people of all political parties (but, clearly, more so from the Religious Right). Consequently, religion also drives the social stigmas that still surrounded homosexuality, like the belief that you can’t lead a “normal” life as a homosexual. The word “normal” is subjective; there is no finite definition of the word “normal” that every person is expected to adhere to. Don’t let societal norms keep you from feeling fulfilled. This isn’t an attack on Christianity or organized religion, as Christianity has been misconstrued over thousands of years, and, at the heart of it all, I don’t believe it to be a detriment if you actually know what your religion actually entails. With that being said, the word “homosexual” didn’t even exist when the original biblical transcripts were composed, and the word wasn’t translated to be included in the Christian Bible until 1946 (other religious texts have also fallen victim to misconstrued translations as well). Therefore, to say that Jesus or any other religious figure in the Christian Bible specifically addressed homosexuality is blatantly incorrect. Notwithstanding, the number one reason behind the anti-gay attitude in this country is based on what the Bible supposedly says in opposition of homosexuality. Another argument I’ve always found to be a little counterproductive is that homosexuality is an addiction, just like alcoholism. Addiction is defined as a dependency on a substance, such as alcohol, drugs, or gambling. By this logic, it would mean that heterosexuals were as capable of converting to homosexuality as homosexuals can convert to heterosexuality. So the next a heterosexual tells you that you could be straight if you wanted, just snap your fingers at them and say, “Go gay!” It’s literally the exact same train of thought. Moreover, most “ex-gays” I’ve encountered have admitted they still have homosexual desires, but suppress the urge to have sex with members of their own sex, which actually just means they haven’t “cured” themselves of homosexuality, but simply abstain from sex. This points to the fact that, for some reason, homosexuality is only seen as pertaining to sex; homosexuality is not a sexual act, it is a sexual orientation. The bottom line is that homosexuals aren’t asking for an acceptance of lifestyle, but social equality. Espousing something like “heterosexual ethic,” as I’ve heard homophobia eloquently described before, is the equivalent of racism, sexism, xenophobia, totalitarianism, etc., and using your religion to justify hate is a misuse. You are entitled to believe what ever you’d like about my being a homosexual from a religious and/or social standpoint, but we the fact of the matter is that we are still entitled to our legal rights as homosexuals under the same Constitution that everyone else adheres to. — Lucas Witherspoon

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WTF!?!? Tidbits I took a nap at about 1 PM the other day, and woke up to at least 12 texts

about Lindsay Lohan supposedly being found “unconscious” in her hotel room. I’ve been bracing myself for years in preparation for Lindsay’s untimely death, so naturally I was expecting the worst when I checked TMZ for an update. Turns out the bitch was just sleeping! After I finally settled my heart palpitations, I read that two crewmembers in the hair department of Liz & Dick (the Lifetime Elizabeth Taylor biopic) were also being treated for “exhaustion and severe dehydration.” I get that they’re shooting this film in 20 days, but this isn’t Roots. You have air-conditioning, craft services, and are permanently stationed in the penthouse at the Ritz-Carlton during shooting. Things could be worse. Let’s not be so dramatic.

A 63-year-old woman visiting South Korea got a money shot to

the mouth from a squid when its “small, white spindle-shaped bug-like organisms lodged in the mucous membrane of her tongue, cheek and gums.” Gross.

Alec Baldwin got into another fight with a paparazzo. In other news, the sky is still blue, the grass is still green, and Nick Stahl is missing again.

Forbes has published their annual list of Hollywood’s highest-paid actresses, with Kristen Stewart topping the list, earning a reported $34.5 million last year. Cameron Diaz came in second with $34 million. Just to put that into perspective, three-time Oscar winner Meryl Streep (and 17-time nominee) was ranked number eight with earnings of $12 million. Statistics about the American education system or defense spending are less depressing than the fact that Cameron Diaz made more last year than Meryl Streep. Johnny Depp and his wife of 14 years Vanessa Paradis have announced they’re splitting. Considering he looks like a homeless guy and she looks like a meth addict, I’d suggest they skip eHarmony and go straight to Skid Row to find their rebounds. A news agency in China issued an apology after

they reported on a “mystery mushroom” discovered in a small village that turned out to be “a double-headed masturbation toy with an artificial vagina on one side and an artificial anus on the other.” I wish I’d thought of that excuse the time I S Bukley Shutterstock.com accidentally left my Fleshlight out for my parents to find. “Sex toy?! Mom, Dad, you don’t understand: it’s a special, medicinal Chinese mushroom. It’s in the best interest of my health.”

Shia LaBeouf appeared in a video for the Icelandic band Sigur Rós, where he graciously flashed a little side peen. I don’t care if he looks like he regularly bathes in a tub of flan, I’d still hit it in a heartbeat (or the pulse of a dick, whichever). — Lucas Witherspoon david atlanta | 15

by Van Gower

ummertime is upon us, and it’s the prime time for exploring all the sun and fun that we can squeeze in before the fall rears its ugly head again. We all know Atlanta offers a virtually limitless variety of activities for gays. If it doesn’t, we make it happen.

But what of the attractions and excursions that lie outside the safety zone of the Perimeter? Believe it or not, there are quite a few of them that are either gay-specific or, at the very least, gay-friendly. Here are just a few of them to tempt you to venture OTP. Best of all, they’re all within a short three-hour drive of the city.

n: the ege tow ll o c s l a senti gorgeou quintes g with a n li is w n u s ra gro d then nd c allowed eorgia anta, A emia a h G tl d , o a A s c ls n a a e m ’s R.E.M. Ath elite s fro here. It 2’s and 0 mile is ped in 6 -5 e t, B te h re s e e ig , ll n and the A m rgia ds th party a of Geo ck ban att Club d y ro W n it d a e 0 rs v y 4 e ti a the ll d Univ ude an erna cluding sive alt study a the attit in lu o n c y s h o e rl in w t a u rh e n s e boy ens que al ve t’s lig s at loc u in Ath wn tha gendary o ig to y le g in d ly s ie n re d d e m a l la wh rien ing in anta wil your dre l, gay-f ed play écor of from Atl a libera d de-gift ’s re a e got start u It m m rt . d o a e n heatr the h g dep lty ha T n in ia o c nd ia rn e o p rg p u o s m Ge .A cafes a and tock the arts then, s arkets, ntly-hip n e m t; o ur d s o n a y y e e fa v k a p fl e he ld b brea inde res, uys cou que sto laimed to grab g c ti ry c n e h a a g g to ’ e u , is s s ll o h n e o en set ky c Athe alleri your clo ose hun a ny art g t one of fy a a th b s f m h ti ra o c a e G s n e th – on istory. ing or l for lu re p e H a p l fu s o e e ra h c s R han ouse Natu ore shops. or art-h eum of here – c ut for m s n o w u , ig k M c ts re a n ia fo b eorg ellent in a head restaura me exc Art or G e, take o lunch, s f s r u o r e o h ft fo m e A u b ffe se clu server. local co rgia Mu a local the Geo stop at tch at a a a h -w sga.com it n le e w p buff at r day d peo isitath u n .v o a y w e t w u jo w o d anta. cup of en roun k to Atl Ciné, th ing bac d a e film at h re sic befo live mu

tion doesn’t wn-home tradi do e, bl ra ne ve ountains in g a little; this Appalachian M e th We’re cheatin in d tle es varieties of til October. N sbord of more ga take place un or sm a is addition to , the festival ght existed. In ou North Georgia th ve ha er can partake u might ev apple pies, you ed apples than yo fri s ou m fa ndmade crafts ples and the s, purchase ha purchasing ap od go d ke ba ow you might be food and inment. We kn in festival-style rta te en not: e liv e rritory, but fear check out th to bumpkin te and gifts, and in ep mmude co so nt g y-tolera of headin tually pretty ga ac wary of the idea e ar ge tible, sexy id is R es e plenty of irr hboring Blu ig e se ne d to an y el ay lik lij El at you’re 6-4500. al.org, 706-63 couldn’t hurt th iv it st d fe le An pp s. aa tie gi ni ww.geor the festival. w country boys at

Festival Georgia Apple

Macon, Georgi a

While Macon is n’t exactly a ga y mecca – wel is the birthplac l, okay, it’s not e of flamboyant a gay mecca – ly gay rock-and downtown hist it -roll legend Li oric district fe ttle Richard. Its at ures beautiful Victorian hous ly restored Gre es, and Macon ek Revival an was the home Fame, which d of the Georgia was shuttered Music Hall of in June 2011 af interest by the ter 15 years public. If you and dwindling doubt that sq Richard’s hom uealing “I drov etown this wee e through Little ke nd!” is likely to just 24 minut impress the bo es’ drive from ys at the bar, M acon in nearby the Whistle St Juliette, GA, op Café (www. ho wever, lies th ew histlestopcafe quaint, pictur .com, 478-99 esque eatery w 288 as 86). This the actual film Alabama) for th ing location (s e classic 1991 ta nd in movie Fried G g in for late Jessica Ta reen Tomatoes ndy and Kathy that starred th Bates and was author Fannie e based on the Flagg. It still se novel by lesbia rves mouth-wat including barb n ering traditiona ecue, fried ch l Southern fare icken, country and apple pies fried steak, po , and – yes – fri rk chops, peac ed green tomat h oes!

Gay Campgrounds

but s short shrift to its GLBT citizens, Georgia may be a red state that give re whe e our own secluded oases of peac that doesn’t stop us from creating pe esca to please. When you just need we can do whatever we damn well get back to nature, load up your SUV the hectic pace of the big city and the and hit the highway toward one of or pickup truck with camping gear ethre a in s in Georgia that are all with surprising number of gay campground not re you’ they’re clothing-optional!) If hour drive of the ATL. (And boys, at ils then ring up the friendly staffs already a regular, go online for deta p. cam rt in Canon, GA (www.inthewoods In The Woods Campground & Reso herimpt Edge in Dewy Rose, GA (www.ca com, 706-246-0152) and River’s , this year is OZ Campground (Unadilla versedge.com, 706-213-8081). New fresh a under new ownership and has GA); formerly Lumberjacks, it’s now ) 892-2299). Nature boys, indeed! 478 , new look. (www.ozcampground.com

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by Jimmy Im, Out Escapes

outh Beach? Been there, done that. Ibiza? It’s only seasonal. San Francisco? Who hasn’t been? While some of the world’s most-loved gay friendly destinations have lured the LGBT community for years—even decades—there’s a new crop of cities that’s dangling a rather large, gay carrot. And gay travelers are biting. From Liverpool in the UK to the Catskills in Upstate New York, several destinations are on our radar as burgeoning hot spots for the gay community, thanks to a spike in friends of the family visitors, new gay bars, gay-friendly attitudes and general attractions that keep travelers making the trek. Out Escapes (www.outescapes.com), a new travel web site that features gay-friendly, discounted hotels, a platform for gay events around the world and Gay Tripper travel lifestyle blog (www. gaytripperblog.com), offers their list of the best new emerging gay destinations every traveler should have on their radar.

Catskills, New York Less than two hours from New York City, the Catskills is our best pick. It has been wooing gay travelers since the 80s but it recently went through a major renaissance and with good reason: the ground-breaking legalization of same-sex weddings in the state of New York. Couples are flocking to get married or even honeymoon at romantic inns and explore the rural getaway, david atlanta | 23

and the Catskills is no less than welcoming. It’s chockfull of rolling valleys and well appointed hotels with a terrific farm-to-table culinary scene and a whole lotta sky. It’s also the perfect getaway from New York City where couples can reenact their best Dirty Dancing moments (the movie was set here) and gaggles of friends can immerse themselves in plenty of outdoor adventures. One of the coolest towns is Roxbury, and the gay scene is flourishing, many thanks to gay couple Greg Henderson and Joseph Massa, who own the Roxbury Motel (www.theroxburymotel.com). Opened in 2004, this trendy inn recently added 9 brand-new themed suites, each paying tribute to popular 60s and 70s TV shows and movies, a nod to the era when the Catskills were at the peak of their time. Joe and Greg’s background is in theater and design, so don’t expect camp. Instead, the suites are whimsical, visually commanding and, sure enough, blatantly fun. Next door to Roxbury is the lesbian owned Public, a cool, funky restaurant serving farmto-table dishes. It’s best to come early as daily specials sell out fast, and we mean before 7 PM. Everything in Roxbury generally shuts down by 9 PM. But its the daytime that’s the most alluring. Outdoor adventures abound, including plenty of hikes at Kaaterskill Falls, a man-made beach, the highest zipline in North America and several lakes that make the perfect backdrop for your Facebook cover photo. While Roxbury is experiencing a renaissance, Sullivan County is also seeing an uptick in gay travelers. It’s always been a gay-friendly destination (up to 70 percent of businesses in Narrowsburg Village alone are gay owned and there’s even an Out&About local guide distributed in shops, lounges and antique stores, as well as a website exclusively for gay visitors: www.outinthecatskills.com). The gay community continues to thrive, hitting the natural setting for hiking and canoeing and setting up camp at one of the several gay-owned B&Bs. Speaking of B&Bs, don’t be fooled by Ecce Bed & Breakfast 24 | davidatlanta

(www.eccebedandbreakfast.com). It’s more like a luxury boutique hotel. Perched 400 feet high on a bluff overlooking the Delaware River where eagles soar, the hotel has five contemporary rooms (some with whirlpool tubs and private terraces), free mini bar and cozy beds. The 60-acre property exudes romance with a private hammock area and a stone cliff etched with initials and names from lovers dating back to the twenties. Sullivan County is also majorly historic. It’s here the legendary Woodstock Festival took place in 1969 (yes, the festival did not happen in Woodstock). The Bethel Woods Center for the Arts celebrates the iconic concert and sixties history with educational and fun multimedia and memorabilia right on the very site. And, believe it or not, there is nightlife! The Dancing Cat Saloon and Catskill Distillery produces the popular Peace Vodka, and the restaurant/lounge is a hot spot for locals and visitors alike. Who knows? You may run into Michelle Williams or Mark Ruffalo, both of whom own homes here.

Tokyo, Japan Konichiwa, baby! Tokyo has changed in the past decade and while some may consider it conservative and traditional, the quirky capital of Japan is becoming a hot spot for the gay traveler. Hotels continue to sign up for the LGBT friendly campaign, and business hotels that once did not accept male couples for double room bookings are now completely welcoming. “There are some great hotels in Tokyo where staff are being educated with regards to their gay customers,” says James Mundy of InsideJapan Tours, which runs private city tours and packages with gay guides. “The attitudes are changing.” Tokyo Disneyland just carried out its first same-sex marriages (though not legally binding) and there are a handful of openly gay politicians these days (the first openly gay politician to be elected was in April 2011). Shinjuku Ni-Chome district (the “gayborhood”)

is where to be, and Ageha Club in the Shin Kiba area hosts the biggest gay night in Tokyo, called Shangrila. Japan’s traditional public baths are a must but even more intimate is the gay sauna at 24 Kaikan in Ni-chome. The Park Hotel has stunning views of the city starting on the 26th floor, and is a gay-friendly hotel. It’s not to be confused with Park Hyatt Tokyo, which has that iconic top floor bar with amazing views as seen in Lost in Translation.

Liverpool, UK London may be calling but Liverpool is hot on its heels as the next big gay destination in the UK. In fact, Liverpool Pride, only three years strong, is the UK’s biggest free pride event outside of London, which doubled in attendance last year. Even the mayor of Liverpool, Joe Anderson, is no less than supportive. “The Liverpool Pride festival is a huge success and a fantastic celebration of the incredible diversity that exists in the city,” he says. “It shows that Liverpool is a welcoming and diverse place to visit.” Liverpool is also the only city in Britain with a branded gay quarter (including rainbow flags on the street signs) and the first of any city in the UK to be officially recognized as a “gayborhood.” Stanley Street Quarter is

vibrant and welcoming to all communities but the LGBT visitor will find nightlife quite memorable, thanks to popular bars and clubs like Garlands and the buzzing G-Bar, Liverpool’s most popular gay bar.

Stockholm, Sweden Love is in the air for same-sex couples in Stockholm… literally! Stockholm was the first country in the world to marry same-sex couples aboard an SAS flight in 2011, where the lucky couple tied the knot at the Ice Hotel. And the promotions don’t stop with that. This year, the tourism board of Stockholm is launching “Win a Date with Stockholm” (www.winadatewithstockholm.com), where gay contestants can enter to win a date with a hot Swede (both gay and lesbian) in a themed itinerary. Stockholm has made huge progress—and impact—with gay initiatives in the past few years, including promotions, a bear festival and of course it’s great nightlife. The city is now promoting city tours with locals. For instance, celebrated designer Patrik Janson designed a shopping in stockholm guide, a fun and creative way to highlight some of the best shops in the words of a local.

Santa Fe, New Mexico As Jack so enthusiastically sang in the Newsies musical: “Dreams come true, yes they do/ In Santa Fe.” And we’ll have to agree when it comes to finding an incredibly sublime hot spot for gay travelers. This bohemian destination embraces a large artist community, and has the second most same-sex households per capita in the country. Furthermore, Santa Fe is home to the largest (and first) LGBT retirement communities in North America, and a very active Santa Fe Human Rights Alliance. There’s a number of TAG-approved hotels, it’s one of the most romantic places for stargazing and you couldn’t ask for better Tex-Mex. Santa Fe’s gay roots go back to the early 20th century with the migration of artists looking for new subject matter, atmosphere and inspiration. It’s one of the most open-minded cities in the

world, thanks to the origin of imaginative and free-thinking new settlers. Here, it’s more about public and private art rather than sleek, contemporary museums; romance rather than nightlife; and down time over a big city hustle. The popular Santa Fe Pride Festival (which happened June 23) continues to grow, as well as the number of other festivals like the International Art Fair and Annual Santa Fe Indian Market. Four Seasons brand-loyal guests will also have something to cheer about: the company signed a long-term management agreement with acclaimed resort Encantado. It will be Four Seasons first New Mexico property, and the hotel will be rebranded in the next few weeks.

Saigon, Vietnam Vietnam is hot right now, thanks to the trend of Ends of the Earth journeys where travelers are seeking destinations off the beaten path (sorry, Thailand, we still love you!), and more and more gay travelers are part of this trend, especially in Southeast Asia. Saigon is a metropolis on the move, a city of commerce that’s—believe it or not—forward thinking. Throw in timeless alleys, ancient pagodas and bustling markets, and you have the best of both worlds. And what gay doesn’t love tailored made clothing, one of the best highlights of Saigon? Most visitors stay at Park Hyatt Saigon, thanks to the gay friendly appeal of the luxury brand. It’s right in the heart of the city with 244 well appointed rooms, two award-winning restaurants and great staff to boot. Gay travelers will adore Saigon nightlife, thanks to the handful of bars that are gaining popularity, including Centro and Mecca, both of which finally have a weekly gay night visited by locals, foreigners and expats. Even on the non-specific gay nights, it’s still popular almost every night of the week. Visit www.outescapes.com for these vacations and more david atlanta | 27

What A Girl Wants

Bring the Fireworks

to the Party!

Party Planning Tips for the 4th

by Rian Ashlei

or me, the Fourth of July has always been a holiday characterized by glorified barbecue parties, fireworks and new clothes. In New Orleans, where I grew up, it was tradition to get a new outfit to wear to the dozens of barbecues you would attend throughout the city …and to sneak sips of the daiquiris your parents and older cousins might have sitting around the picnic table. But mostly it was about reuniting and celebrating over food. Since access to fresh crawfish is not an option, here’s a list of favorite BBQ foods to put together for your Independence celebration. I have two kinds of celebration tactics in store; the Nice and the Naughty. Both are marked by good eats and great surroundings but some components are higher in calories than others. With Nice, it’s much more likely you won’t be engaging in the afternoon nap brought on by the Naughty partygoers menu.

The Nice

This menu is designed to eliminate guilt. You can generally eat more than your fair share of this and not worry about how fat and ugly you’ve managed to become in under an hour.

Heirloom Tomatoes Cut some fresh heirloom tomatoes into quarters, plate them and lightly drizzle olive oil and coarse sea salt on top. The salt draws out the water in the tomato and makes for a cool and refreshing snack while your guests wait for the next dish. Random Nerdy Fact: The combination of the fat in the olive oil and the tomatoes helps your

body to better absorb the nutrients in tomatoes through your intestinal walls.

Grilled Chicken Salad This dish allows you to get that same char grilled wonder we traditionally like in barbecue without all the sugar and calories. I got it from Martha a few months ago and the chicken turns it up. I don’t like the mint added to the recipe…but if you want to try it, add it in right when arranging the platter. Ingredients: ¾ cup extra virgin olive oil 2 tbsp. lemon juice 4 garlic cloves chopped up 5 boneless chicken breasts 2 cups of fresh peas Minced shallots 2 tbsp. Dijon mustard Coarse salt Butterhead lettuce (Bibb or Boston), cut and deveined 1. Whisk together a ¼ cup of olive oil, 2 tbsp. of lemon juice and 1 clove of garlic then pour it over the chicken and refrigerate. 2. Cook the peas for about 3 minutes in boiling water, then place them in ice cold water to stop the cooking process. 3. Take the chicken out of the marinade and grill it. Usually it takes like 20-30 minutes to cook a chicken breast all the way through. After it’s cooked, refrigerate it…and right before serving cut it into thick slices. 4. Whisk together the remaining olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, shallots, mustard and salt, put the lettuce on a plate, toss the sliced chicken in the dressing, arrange on the salad and pour the remaining dressing on the salad. Feast. david atlanta | 29

Broccoli Slaw Get your friends to eat their vegetables with this savory raw broccoli slaw dish. Ingredients 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar 1 lemon, zested 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard 1 teaspoon kosher salt Pinch freshly ground black pepper 1/4 cup olive oil 1 pound broccoli, rinsed, trimmed and sliced thinly on a mandolin 6 ounces cherry or grape tomatoes, halved 3 ounces coarsely chopped, toasted pecans or hazelnuts 2 tablespoons chiffonade fresh basil leaves Directions: Whisk together the vinegar, zest, lemon juice, mustard, salt and pepper in a medium mixing bowl. While whisking constantly, gradually add the olive oil. Add the broccoli and toss to coat. Cover and refrigeratorate 1 hour.

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Stir in the tomatoes, hazelnuts and basil. Cover and allow to sit, at room temp or in the refrigerator, for another 15 minutes before serving.

The Naughty

Damn the calories, I’m looking for the mouthwatering flavor of a slow roasted pork something.

Deviled eggs Aren’t these just yummy and so damn easy to make. Seriously, it’s damn near impossible to mess up a deviled egg, unless you get too fancy or too heavy-handed. Remember, you want these little devils to stay light and fluffy. They’ll have the same cooling effect as the tomatoes with twice the fat. All you need are boiled eggs, relish, salt, cayenne pepper, mayo and mustard. Scrape out the yolk; add a dollop of mayo, a small dollop of mustard, salt to taste and a few dabs of relish. Stuff them back in their shell and lightly sprinkle the cayenne. Refrigerate these puppies. And if you want to get really fancy, dice up some green onions and ham and sprinkle those on top too.

Pork Ribs Some people like beef but I think swine is better. The natural fattiness, the way you have to do little to season it and yet it remains so succulent, the inexpensiveness of pork, how can you not love it. Dig up your favorite rib recipe and hop to it. Brown sugar, bourbon and Worcestershire sauce fair well in a traditional rub or marinade.

Grilled Zucchini Easy peezy. Slice the zucchini lengthwise, salt it with sea salt, drizzle olive oil on it and lay it on the grill. Damn it’s delicious.

Potato Salad

fashion trend, so throw it into your environment for the 4th. Think American. Think red and blue glass tumblers; white plates, red napkins and blue vases full of thick, white budding hydrangeas. I truly deem this, Easter and St. Patricks’ Day a time when it is completely appropriate to get crazy with the color. So do it!

Michelle’s Peach Sangria In the event there aren’t any good hallucinogens around to enjoy a very special rendition of the fireworks, drink this in bulk. There ain’t nothing nice about this delicious, alcohol and sugar rich recipe. But all your guests will be pleased and a bit wobbly.

Which I also buy from the grocery since my grandmother was the only person who made it just the way I liked it. If you have a good grandmother recipe lying around, use it, otherwise, buy the red russet potato salad from Publix, complete with eggs and an expiration date.

A bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, frozen peaches, peach flavored vodka, an inexpensive brandy and some common sense.

Décor:

Enjoy your 4th as responsibly as possible…and if not, stay where you are, I’m not trying to dodge you on the road.

Think color blocking. Big displays of red, white and blue splashed across your patio. It’s the latest

Yes, you combine all of this to your liking…but use the whole bottle of sauvignon blanc…it is a sangria after all.

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BARTAB | map CHESHIRE BRIDGE & BUCKHEAD C1 Beluga Martini Bar 3115 Piedmont Rd www.

ANSLEY A22 Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. www.amster-

C2 BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.

A23 Burkhart’s 1492 Piedmont Ave. www.burkharts.

C3 Bliss Atlanta 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www. C4 Club Rush (formerly Chaparral) 2715 Buford Hwy

A24 Felix’s 1510 Piedmont Ave A25 Mixx 1492 Piedmont Ave - B www.mixxatlanta.com A26 Oscars Atlanta 1510 Piedmont Ave NE www.

C5 Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.hereticat-

A27 The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Rd NE, Suite 124

C6 Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. www.jungleclubatlanta.

A28 Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave.

C7 Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.

A29 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. www.boynext-

belugamartinibar.com

myspace.com/bjroostersatl blissofatlanta.com

www.chaparralalternative.com

lanta.com com

lasmargaritasmidtown.com

C36 Mood Lounge 3081 E. Shadowlawn Ave. NE C8 Opus 1 1086 Alco St. C9 Tripps 1931 Piedmont Circle www.trippsatlanta.

damatlanta.com

com

oscarsatlanta.com

www.atlantahideaway.com

www.brushstrokesatlanta.com door.biz

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PONCE P30 Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce de Leon Ave. www.

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P31 Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce de Leon Ave.

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P32 Model T’s 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE #11 www.

org

P30 Rawhide Leather at the Eagle 404.881.0031

C10 Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd NE www.woofsatlanta. C11 Gravity Fitness 201 Faulkner Rd. www.gravityatl. C12 Manifest4U 2103 Faulkner Rd. www.manifest4u. C13 Southern Nights Videos 2205 Cheshire Bridge

atlantaeagle.com

www.friendsonponce-atl.com

modeltatlanta.com

Rd. www.southernnights.com

MIDTOWN & WESTSIDE M14 Blakes on the Park 227 10th St. www.blake-

sontheparkatlanta.com M15 Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. M16 Daiquiri Factory 889 W. Peachtree St., 30309 facebook.com/pages/The-Daiquiri-Factory M17 Gilberts 219 10th St. www.gilbertscafe.com M18 Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St www.joesonjuniper.com M19 Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. www. swingingrichards.com M20 XS Ultra Lounge 708 Spring St., 30308 www. traxxatlanta.com M21 Flex 76 4th St. www.flexbaths.com

34 | davidatlanta

EAST ATLANTA E37 Asylum 543 Flat Shoals Ave. www.asylumatl.com/ E33 Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. www.marysatlanta. com

E34 My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave www. mysistersroom.com

E35 The Cockpit 465 Boulevard Ave. www.thecockpitatlanta.blogspot.com

OTHER LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd SE # A-10 www.thenewlebuzz.com

L enox

C36

erry Rd

Pharr Rd

236

AlcoC8

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La V ista R

C13

Peac

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A27

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Boulevard

Ave and

North Ave Av

e y NE E Freedom Pkw Freedom ■ Carter Presidential Park d Ralph McGill Blv Willoughby Way NE Library

LITTLE FIVE POINTS

y Freedom Pkw

Av e

Ave NE

cli d

Highland

Bedford Pl Piedmont Ave

St Courtland

Mor el

Pie

Barnett St

Penn

Juniper St

Cypress Peachtree

P31 P32

Ave

Crescent

Spring St

W Peachtree St

Argonne Ave

Northside Dr

Techwood

P30

King Center ■ Ave E33

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St Charles

Ponce De Leon Ave

eth ab

Spr

7th St

Eliz

Auburn

E ve N nd A

M14 M17 M16 8th St M15

■ 85 Civic Center

od wo

Peachtree Center MARTA ■ P'tree M Center

am Ave

Virginia Ave VIRGINIA HIGHLANDS

10th St

MARTA North Ave

MARTA M Civic Center

Centennial Olympic Park ■ Aquarium ■ ■ Georgia CNN ■ Dome Center

11th St

6th St 5th St 4th St

hley Ave As

Simpson

urtena Co

Lin

North Ave

Ams t

M18

M20 ■ Fox Theatre M

A22

Piedmont Park

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M21

Botanical ■ Garden

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Georgia Tech ■

14th St

MARTA M Midtown

roe

A29

M19

High Museum & Woodruff Arts Center ■ MARTA M Arts Center

Mon

A28 A25

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map courtesy of damron.com

A alb M DeKMARTA Inman Park

Sheridan Rd

C12 C11 C6

C10

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Hw y rd Bufo

Sidney Marcus Blv

Rd er lkn Fau

MARTA Lindbergh Center M

Piedmont

Lindbergh Rd

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Paces F

to East Atlanta

E33 E34 E37

david atlanta | 35

BARTAB | week MONDAY

BLAKE’S Trivia w/ Mary Edith Pitts @ 11pm $250 prize, then New Drag on the Edge w/ Shawnna Brooks BURKHART’S Blue Monday Karaoke w/ Angelica D’Paige 11:30pm COCKPIT Big Red Cup Mondays All Day & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm EAGLE Comedy TV- Free Pool FELIX’S Free Pool FRIENDS Bad Boy Brian opens at 2pm HERETIC Play w/ Eddie 4pm-11pm HIDEAWAY $2.50 Domestic Beer JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm MODEL T Monday Night Madness 9pm Oscar’s Midtown Martini Club 4pm. Service Industry Night 9pm Tripp’s Monday Night Madness 9pm

TUESDAY

BLAKE’S I Gotta Sing! Hosted by Jerry Cyccone (Karaoke) 11pm BURKHART’S Trivia Tuesday Karaoke w/ Angelica D’Paige 11:30pm Club Rush HipHop til 4am, $5 COCKPIT 80s Party, 9pm, 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm EAGLE Tuesdays w/ Tony FELIX’S Smirnoff Martini Night FRIENDS Let’s Make a Deal 6pm HERETIC 2-Step Tuesday, dance till 11pm HIDEAWAY TEAM Trivia w/ Will 9pm Mixx Piano Night w/ David Reeb 8pm MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 9:30pm Oscar’s Show Tune Tuesday 8pm SWINGING RICHARDS Free til Midnight Tripp’s Ladies Night 9pm

WEDNESDAY

BLAKE’S 5-9pm Doug’s party pop hits, The “Lust and Bust Show”11 pm BURKHART’S Humpday Karaoke w/ Darlene Majewski 11:30pm COCKPIT Balls Deep Karaoke 10pm, 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

36 | davidatlanta

got an upcoming event? calendar@davidatlanta.com

EAGLE 80’s Music w/ Travis FRIENDS Team Trivia 8pm HERETIC 25¢ Keystone Light ,No Cover! HIDEAWAY Trivia w/ Will 9pm Mixx Texas Hold’em Poker 7pm MODEL T Karaoke 10pm Oscar’s ReBooT Retro 8pm SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP Room Tripp’s Free Taco Bar 5pm XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE Raquell Lord’s Talent Show @ 10:30pm, Sophia Mcintosh & Fab 5 +1 @11:30pm, 18+

THURSDAY

BLAKE’S $5 burgers, Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm, Shawnna Factor Show 11pm BURKHART’S Twisted Thursday w/ Phoenix 11:30pm COCKPIT Dirty Boy Bingo w/ Ruby Redd EAGLE Karaoke w/ Mikey FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm FRIENDS Where Girls Who Like Girls Meet Girls all night HERETIC 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm HIDEAWAY Service Industry Night JUNGLE Cherry Pop Thursday! LAS MARGARITAS Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm Mixx The Toolbox 6pm MODEL T Party-Time 9pm Oscar’s Kickin It w/ Kyle 8pm SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP Room & 2-4-1 Door Entry Tripp’s Spotlight Karaoke 9pm XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE Turnt Up Thursday, No Cover, Hip Hop, Rnb & Reggae

FRIDAY

BLAKE’S 5-9pm TGIF, 1/2 price appetizers Charlie’s Angels w/ Charlie Brown 11pm BURKHART’S Fab Five w/ Angelica D’Paige 11:30pm Club Rush Got Leche? til 4am, $10 COCKPIT DJ Diablo Rojo, guest VJ/DJ’s EAGLE DJ Dance Party FRIENDS Happy Times w/ Brian & Ken

HERETIC no cover B4 11pm HIDEAWAY After Work Martini Madness JUNGLE Club Night, Various DJ’s Mixx Grown & Sexy Dance 10pm MODEL T Saturday Night Live 9pm Oscar’s 80’s Retro Vidz 8pm SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review, $10 Tripp’s Afternoon Delights 4pm

SATURDAY

BLAKE’S opens 1pm, Absolut cocktails by the pitcher, Daring Divas Show 11pm BURKHART’S Extravaganza w/ Shavonna B. Brooks 11:30pm Club Rush Dance Party COCKPIT DJ Diablo Rojo, guest VJ/DJ’s EAGLE DJ Dance Party FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm FRIENDS Afternoons w/ Bob! 2pm HERETIC Varies: Club Night or 3 Legged Cowboy Night - 10pm JUNGLE Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s. Mixx Guest DJ’s Dance 10pm MODEL T Sunday Dinner 3:30pm Oscar’s Total Request Videos 8pm SWINGING RICHARDS T-Shirt Review $10 Tripp’s Afternoon Cookout 3pm XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE Man 2 Man, Free 4 Men 25+ B4 12am

SUNDAY

Burkhart’s Armorettes Drag Show BLAKES ON THE PARK open 1pm, Classic Blake’s Club Rush Hip Hop w DJ Truz, no cover COCKPIT PBR Beer Bust FELIX’S Bloody Marys & Mimosas FRIENDS Smirnoff B Mary Bar 12:30pm HIDEAWAY Make Your Own Bloody Mary Bar 12:30pm LAS MARGARITAS All You Can Eat til 3pm Mixx Old School Sunday Dance 7pm MODEL T Sunday Dinner w Ron 3:30pm Tripp’s Buffet of Goodness 3pm; Karaoke pm

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david atlanta | 39

40 | davidatlanta

Still bad… and y’all know it

by Catherine Maddox

pproaching the second anniversary of his death, Michael Jackson’s legacy of badness is only getting badder. Fans blog longingly for a full-on hologram resurrection of Pop’s supreme leader, a la Tupac Shakur at this year’s Coachella stage. But Cirque du Soleil is taking him in a more eternal direction. Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour — arriving in Atlanta June 29th, for only 3 nights! — shied away from creating a single Michael Jackson role. Rather the artists, and musicians in the show, many of whom worked with Jackson when he was alive, have re-created Jackson’s world. Who better than the artists of Cirque du Soleil to fully represent the peaceful, imaginative era when Neverland existed and dancers moonwalked in fedoras? Daniel Lamarre, Cirque du Soleil’s President,

said of the Immortal tour, “Michael was always ahead of his time, now we need to be ahead of our time in order to fulfill expectations.” With human-sized monkey costumes, glow-inthe-dark tracksuits, and hulk-like storm troopers alternating bedazzled peace signs and question marks on their chests, Cirque du Soleil endeavors to capture the creative beast that is Jackson’s reality on the stage. “There is only one Michael Jackson in this world and we are here to honor him, not imitate him,” says Artistic Director Tara Young. They are large shoes to fill, as two dancers in the show demonstrate in one number, each squeezing into a life-sized patent leather loafer, white socks peaking out the top, an even larger wavy-haired Jackson, in his prime, projected onto large screens behind them. Tickets for June 29, 30 and July 1 at Philips Arena are now on sale at www.cirquedusoleil.com david atlanta | 41

Protect Your Monster

by Richard Marshall

david atlanta | 43

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david atlanta | 45

Top 10 Tracks 1. Headphones – Little Boots 2. Never Gonna Let You Go – Esthero 3. Hollywood (The Magician Remix) – RAC (feat. Penguin Prison) 4. Big Hoops (Bigger The Better) – Nelly Furtado 5. Tonight (Best You Ever Had) – John Legend (feat. Ludacris) 6. Warrior – Mark Foster, A-Trak, and Kimbra 7. Where Have You Been – Rihanna 8. Drummer – Niki and the Dove 9. Timebomb – Kylie Minogue 10. Electric Sky – Milla Jovovich By Dustin Shelby. Check out more music at Dustin’s blog at www.echodust.com

YOUR IMAGE IS OUR BRAND Laurie Edward

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Photography • Image Consulting • Styling Team Head Shots • Modeling Consulting • Model Recruiting Branding Consulting Laurie Edward - 404-664-3438 | Christopher Macken - 478-696-6083 david atlanta | 47

La Nota Rosa

Junio – Mes del Orgullo en El Mundo

por Luis Chiruco

in duda, el mundo está cambiando. Si hace unos años nos hubieran asegurado que el ejército de Estados Unidos iba a celebrar el 28 de junio, no nos lo hubiéramos creído. Pero este año, el Pentágono ha decidido sumarse a las celebraciones del Orgullo Gay por primera vez. El Ejército estadounidense tiene como tradición dedicar un mes para celebrar la contribución de las minorías, y junto a la celebración de la semana de la historia de los negros, o el mes del legado de los asiático estadounidenses, el Pentágono ha decidido celebrar el Orgullo, tras el fin de las leyes que discriminaban a los soldados gays. Por ello, el jefe del Pentágono, León Panetta, agradeció el pasado viernes el servicio prestado por los homosexuales en las filas del ejército estadounidense, señalando a través de un mensaje colgado en la web del Pentágono que dice, “Ahora ustedes pueden estar orgullosos de servir a la nacion y orgullosos de ser quienes son.” Desde que el presidente de Estados Unidos llegó a la Casa Blanca, Barack Obama celebra todos los

años en el mes de junio el Orgullo Gay. Una celebración que este año tiene un carácter especial en su país, tras el apoyo explícito de Obama a la legalización del matrimonio igualitario de cara a las próximas elecciones presidenciales. Y el pasado fin de semana, Obama ha vuelto a dar muestras de su compromiso con los derechos LGBT, prometiendo a los ciudadanos LGBT estadounidenses que seguirá luchando por la igualdad y por “cambios duraderos” para el colectivo. En este sentido, el presidente estadounidense quiso recordar algunos de los progresos que se han producido en materia de derechos LGBT durante los últimos años, como es el caso de las leyes contra la persecución y abusos contra los gays, el fin de las leyes discriminatorias en el Ejército, contra la discriminación sanitaria por la orientación sexual, o a favor de la lucha contra la discriminación de los infectados con el virus VIH. Respecto al matrimonio homosexual, el presidente señaló que el avance constante de este tipo de uniones demuestra la evolución de la sociedad estadounidense en esta materia. Así, el presidente recordó que el progreso social y la igualdad de todos los ciudadanos se está logrando gracias al trabajo de los activistas y de las personas comunes, que han abierto los ojos a la sociedad… got leche?

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david atlanta | 55

Creep of the Week

Joe Haveman

by D’Anne Witkowski

ou know, if you would have asked me a year ago what the most terrible state in the nation for lesbians or gays I would not have said Michigan. I mean, yes, Michigan would have made the list, but not at the coveted #1 spot. Well, apparently Michigan Rep. Joe Haveman (R-Holland) has a competitive streak and didn’t like Michigan being anything less than the worst. And so in March he introduced House Bill 5040, a.k.a. the “Julea Ward freedom of conscience act.” This odious bill according to Emily Dievendorf, director of policy at Equality Michigan, “would prohibit public colleges and universities from disciplining students participating in counseling, social work and psychology programs who refuse treatment to a patient based on the patient’s sexual orientation or gender identity, if the discrimination is motivated by a ‘sincerely held religious belief.’” In other words, if you’re gay or lesbian and you want mental health care and your counselor or therapist thinks homos are yucky, they don’t have to help you. A little backstory here: Julea Ward was a student at Eastern Michigan University who got booted from the counseling program there because she refused to help a gay student because it offended her because of Jesus or whatever. Afterwards she became a hero to anti-gay folks everywhere, obviously. “Every individual is entitled to religious beliefs and should not be reprimanded for those beliefs,” Haveman stated. Um, yes, we’re all entitled to believe whatever we want, batshit crazy or otherwise, and nobody denied Ward that. However, being gay is not a belief, it’s a real thing. And gay people are human beings, which, presumably, someone in a counseling program has a desire to help.

“Ms. Ward did not deny counseling to the client,” Haveman continued. “She requested to refer the client to another counselor, and by being responsible to make sure the client received the best counseling available, she was punished.” In other words, Ward was not capable of providing the best counseling available. So why should she get a counseling degree? Oh, yeah. Because she didn’t want to help a gay person and that’s a matter of “conscience.” Now, if she had refused to help someone because they were Hispanic or because they were confined to a wheelchair then everyone would call that blatant discrimination. According to Dievendorf, “Discrimination based on various categories, including age, culture, disability, ethnicity, race, religion/spirituality, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, marital status, language preference, and socioeconomic status is prohibited by national counseling standards.” So by saying, “Hey, I don’t want to treat gay people,” Ward essentially said, “Hey, I am not qualified for this program.” Just like if you want to be a doctor and you say, “Oh, by the way I don’t believe in medicine and science and will just pray to Jesus on behalf of my sick patients,” you should be shown the door not given a diploma. I have heard the argument made again and again that this bill actually benefits gay clients because who wants to be counseled by a homophobe? And, yes, that is true. But not everyone has the luxury of shopping around when it comes to care providers. Some people are limited by insurance or lack thereof. Nor do kids who see school social workers have many options. And the last thing an LGBT kid struggling with his or her sexuality needs is a counselor who says, “You’re too broken to help.” But for Haveman and the others who supported this bill, religious rights (and let’s be clear, that really means “Christian rights”) trump LGBT civil rights every time. david atlanta | 57

FairyScopes

ARIES (March 20 – April 19): Feeling disconnected can tempt you to try too hard to fit in. You’re too individualistic to conform and your efforts at charm can be too assertive. Focus on your own work and well-being. The trick to fitting in is not to worry about it.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Setbacks or cutbacks at work would make anyone nervous, but you’ll be OK, even if that means working a bit harder. Stress and worry are your biggest dangers. Meditate and take some self-indulgent downtime to relax. GEMINI (May 21- June 20): You may be a little too gorgeous for your own good, and simple flirtation can easily be taken as a lot more landing you on either side of unwanted sexual attentions. Easy does it, Tiger! CANCER (June 21- July 22): Negotiating private space with your roommate can be hard, even more so with your partner. Some time alone can give you space to find a solution. It’s not about negating your ego, but getting it in balance. LEO (July 23 – August 22): Don’t let meditation slide into future tripping. Focus on whatever creative efforts in the present can make the future more of what you want it to be. Efforts at being sexy and provocative can come off as just bitchy and horny. VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Spiritual and personal insights are probably best kept to yourself or just shared with a close friend. Sharing them too widely in efforts to help others will likely be misunderstood and backfire. Be alert and those new ideas could point to great opportunities.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): Your words could be as shocking to you as they are to others, disrupting personal and professional relationships. That may seem to create problems, but it’s really just identifying trouble that’s already there. With patience and responsibility, solutions can come in a few weeks. SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): Your natural erotic charisma is running higher than usual. With correct prophylaxis there’s nothing wrong with cheap thrills, but how cheap do you want to be? What really matters to you? Unsatisfying efforts at pleasure will just leave you cranky and argumentative. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): One can be too inclusive. Rather than trying to expand your family or community, focus on your identity and your own roots. Dig up family secrets and learn better how those have shaped the way you communicate with others. CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Feeling underappreciated at work at least means you’re probably not slacking. Keep up the good work. They’ll notice in time. In the meantime, balance your travails with some fun escapes. Staying mentally and physically fit is first priority. AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Trying to shake up the routine at work with new ideas probably creates more problems than it solves and could cause serious accidents. Feeling like a misfit among co-workers will pass. Save your complaints and outbursts for friends where they won’t have serious repercussions. PISCES (February 19 – March 19): Knowing where you come from is useless if you don’t use that knowledge to move forward. Feeling a bit lost is the first step in finding yourself. Let your work and ambitions be your compass.

Scopes brought to you by Jack Fertig, professional astrologer since 1977. Visit his website at www.starjack.com.

58 | davidatlanta

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Bitch! Session

Now I get it. My feelings don’t count or matter… only your dick’s do. Why do I have a hard time making friends in Atlanta? Is it because I’m not a dancing alcoholic manfant mama’s boy? End scene. Any queen – famous or not – who thinks its funny to use the N-word should be blindfolded in a white hood and dropped off on the streets of Atlanta. Looking at you, Sharon…

Who wants to take bets on how many cocks will be out in Magic Mike, both on-screen and in theaters? I still wish Atlanta Pride was over Stonewall week!

Can we start ticketing PARKatlanta when they break parking regulations? I’d rather eat a urinal cake than kiss you. Not interested.

Well, since you won’t hang out with me in fear of jeopardizing your relationship with your boyfriend, I do believe that definitely shows signs of insecurity. However, you really shouldn’t be worried about losing your boyfriend since he looks like he has that flesh-eating bacteria.

Expectations: a sure-fire way to fuck everything up. I avoid small dicks the way Spider-Man avoids small knives.

Hey, performing isn’t for everyone. Maybe some of you drag queens should keep that in mind. You gay boys expect trans women to show up to your parties and entertain - its about time you show up to our Stonewall commemoration. It’s only a couple hours, is that really so hard? It’s both fun and sad to watch the director of a certain youth agency seem shadier every passing week. Seriously, how is he still in charge?

I just met you, and this is crazy, but...here’s a condom, so fuck me maybe?

Gotta Bitch? Text 404.969.BTCH

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62 | davidatlanta

NOTE: Opinions expressed are those of the readers and do not reflect the opinions of David magazine.