My Struggles, and Then I Fly Away (The Final Chapter)

My Struggles, and Then I Fly Away

David Richardson

The Final Chapter Who can I trust?

Can I trust in my wife?

Can I trust family members? Can I trust friends? Can I trust my church members and the pastor? Can I trust the local conference or the General Conference?

I cannot answer any of the above questions in the affirmative because I don't know the answers. Though I feel confident that my wife may maintain a level of confidentiality, and certain family members will maintain a level of confidentiality, there will always be uncertainty.

So, where can I find solace and comfort without feeling vulnerable to attacks and criticisms? Do I have a confidant in whom I can openly share my thoughts and feelings without being judged or compromised? The answer is our Heavenly Father. He is the source of comfort and confidentiality. He speaks to us in our secret closets. God not only keeps secrets but He forgives sins and cast them “into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:9).� So, I put my trust in God while not leaning on their understandings and 2

interpretations, and He shows me the pathway to true success in my earthly activities.

Ancient Israel did not trust God. God wanted Israel to trust Him as Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob trusted Him. Hannah, Samuel’s mother, had faith that God would give her a child if she dedicated him to God. She committed firstborn, Samuel, to a life of service to God. Her trust resulted in God blessing her with other children. Her first-born son became a prophet and servant to the King of Heaven and earth. God called Samuel when he was just a little boy. Samuel heard the voice of God three times. He thought it was Eli's voice, but Eli told him to lie still and the next time he heard the voice calling his name say, “yes Lord, your servant waits your command.” Samuel grew strong in the Lord. As the high priest, he judged Israel for many years. He was a faithful servant of God, and he trusted God. He may have put his trust in his wife, but he didn't put his trust in his children. He trusted God because one day the people he judged came to him with a profound request, they said, “…make us a king to judge us like all the nations.” What initiated such a request? Well, I believe that Samuel, in part, was responsible for the request of the elders because he made his sons judges over 3

Israel. The name of his firstborn was Joel, and the name of his second, Abijah; they were judges in Beersheba. But his sons did not walk in the footsteps of their father. ways. They "took bribes and perverted justice.” Samuel was undoubtedly one of the godliest men in the Bible. The Bible says that Samuel faithfully fulfilled God’s will, and he didn't deviate from God’s plan. As a child, Samuel wore a linen ephod, the garment of the priest. So, Samuel’s destiny was set in stone!

Nevertheless, like all of us who are born in sin, shaped in iniquity, and susceptible to the frailties of humanity, Samuel made a crucial error, he appointed his ill-equipped sons to be judges over Israel. The Book of Judges lists fifteen judges following Joshua’s death- from Othniel (Judges 3:7-11) to Samuel (the last judge of Israel), one of whom was a woman – Deborah. In each of these fifteen cases, the Word of God says, “…the Lord raised up a deliverer” or “the Lord sent a prophet.”

When Israel asked Gideon to be their ruler, he said, “I will not rule over you, neither shall my son rule over you: the Lord shall rule over you.” There is no record of a judge of Israel passing his or her judgeship to a son or daughter. So, it is reasonable to conclude that Samuel made a crucial error by arbitrarily making his sons judges over Israel. The judges didn't seek to be kings 4

over Israel and set up family dynasties because God was their King. Israel thrived on a theocracy in Canaan for 400 years.

Eli judged Israel before Samuel, and like Eli’s sons, Samuel’s sons were evil. Eli understood that, and never made an effort to pass his judgeship to Hophni and Phinehas, but unlike Eli, Samuel appointed his sons as judges over Israel. That was a bad decision! First, he was fostering nepotism, and nepotism creates all kinds of issues and problems that can be harmful to any institution. This is a mistake that many make. In 2016, the White House violated its nepotism policies. It is not a good idea to hire wives, children, or other close relatives who may or may not be qualified for the position especially if that position is called by God. Even Serious problems could surface even if they are qualified. Nepotism can create organizational issues that interfere with the decision-making processes since a relative of a supervisor could be involved. Any organization that practices nepotism jeopardizes the organization’s creative and productive future. It's a mistake to practice nepotism in the workplace.

Unfortunately, Samuel could not objectively assess the ability of his sons’ effectiveness as Israelite judges. He probably excused the sins of his sons – those same sins that he could see in others.

This is a mistake that we make with those who are close family members like spouses and children, or other close relatives. Not 5

that our children or relatives would exhibit the negative characteristics of Joel and Abijah. Samuel’s sons (1 Samuel 8:3) were conniving, they took bribes, and prevented justice from taking place. They identified themselves as God’s priests but pathetically executed their duties and responsibilities. Today, we have our modern Joels and Abijahs, professed spiritual leaders, who do not walk in God’s designated pathways. Some spiritual leaders steal from the people and misuse their church authority.

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked (Galatians 6:7)” for He will intervene, and, eventually, He will deal with these individuals in an analogous manner that He dealt with Hophni, Phinehas, Joel, and Abijah.

Samuel created the problem when he arbitrarily made his sons judges, and, as a consequence, this was an impetus for the elders to unanimously request a king! “Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah, and said to him, “Look, you are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways.

Now make us a king to judge us like all the nations (Samuel 8:45).” Because of Joel’s abuse and Abijah’s abuse of the priesthood, the elders had a legitimate request. At the same time, their request demonstrated that they no longer trusted God as their King.

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They forgot that God’s appointed spokesperson was Samuel, not Joel and Abijah who abused the priesthood and leadership in God’s theocratic government. The desire to have a king was not problematic, but the lack of trust in God’s government was tantamount to a lack of trust in God. God is omniscient; therefore, He knew that Israel would inevitably have a king, because four hundred years before the request of the elders, God gave instructions about their future king in Deuteronomy 17:1420; consequently, a nation that would be eventual ruled by a king was in God’s plan. Nevertheless, Israel’s elders had the wrong reason for requesting a king. Even though they were concerned about Samuel’s sons taking leadership, they had alternative motives. They wanted a king like the surrounding nations. They didn’t trust in God’s servant, Samuel; therefore, they didn’t trust in God’s ability to guide them under a theocracy even though He had done so for almost 400 years.

God didn't want Israel to be unlike its surrounding neighbors. The other nations worshiped idols, and God wanted Israel to have a theocratic government so that other nations could see the power of monotheism. The nations that had kings usually overburdened their subjects with a variety of mandates including taxes. These 7

kings lived lavishly at the expense of their subjects.

Unfortunately, Israel followed in the footsteps of pagan nations.

It was the ungodly decisions of Israel’s first king, Saul, and third king, Solomon, that ultimately led to the separation of Israel into Judah ((Judah and Benjamin) and Israel (Asher, Dan, Gad, Issachar, Ephraim, Manasseh, Naphtali, Reuben, Simeon, Zebulun).

What was the difference between a king and a judge? A judge was a leader selected by God, usually to meet a specific need in a time of crisis. When the crisis was over, usually the judge just went back to doing what he or she was doing before. A king not only held his office as long as he lived; he also passed his throne down to his descendants.

Samuel was disappointed when the elders asked for a king, but, being a man of God, he prayed for guidance, and God sent him the answer, “…hearken unto the voice of the people…they have rejected me…(1 Samuel 8:7).” Samuel trusted God, but the elders didn’t. In all of Samuel’s dealing with Israel, he communicated to his Heavenly Father, and he trusted in the power that the Theocracy provided. His audience with God was through prayer.

Can we say the same thing?

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Prayers are the keys that unlock God’s storehouse of riches, and we need to spend a significant amount of time communicating with God in prayer. Samuel is our example. Like Samuel, we need to trust in God and take our burdens to Him in prayer.

Often, we do not get what we pray for, because God is an omniscient multidimensional being who sees the big picture.

Since God knows the end before the end, He answers our prayers in a way that would maximally benefit our spiritual growth.

We are frequently disappointed with the results of our prayers.

We only see the limitations constrained by the three-dimensional world we live in.

We do not see events as God sees them.

Our narrow perspectives in a limited environment of time and space make it difficult for us to understand the big picture as it relates to the universe. Perhaps a way to understand how God views us is to use the illustration of a two-dimensional being trying to understand an object that enters his or her world as a dot, then the dot grows into a series of ever-growing circles that reach a maximum and then recede to increasingly smaller circles until it becomes a dot again. The two-dimensional being is puzzled by the events and proposes several theories to explain the 9

observations. He or she and his or her colleagues argue about the events of the mysterious appearance of a dot, the appearance of increasing circles, the appearance of decreasing circles, and then the reappearance of the dot. God, who sees the big picture, understands that an object like a basketball slowly entered the space of the two-dimensional being, and the two-dimensional being saw the basketball as a dot, increasing circles, decreasing circles, and then a dot again. The two-dimensional being doesn’t understand the concept of a basketball, because two-dimensional beings don’t understand the three-dimensional structure of a basketball, but God does, and He can make decisions that will affect the life of the two-dimensional being because He sees and understands things the two-dimensional beings cannot see or understand. God is a multidimensional being; therefore, He sees things that three-dimensional beings cannot see, because He has access to the fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth dimensions. These dimensions give Him insight into the possibilities of seeing the past and all possible futures while extending them into infinity and comparing all possible histories of the Universe with all possibilities that physics offers as well as all possibilities of initial and final imaginable and unimaginable conditions. These characteristics exemplify the awesome characteristics of God because God is the only being in the 10

multiverse who has the incredible power to transcend all dimensions multiplied by His unimaginable powers of omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence.

Our plans may not be God’s plans; therefore, we must trust in His omniscient wisdom. We should learn to take every issue before God, and trust in His wisdom to answer our prayers by letting His will be done in our lives.

If we have a problem, let God address it. Moses had problems, Joshua had problems, Samson had problems, Deborah had problems, Hezekiah had problems, Samuel had problems, Paul had problems, and every prophet and spokesperson for God and Jesus had and still has problems. They all took their problems and burdens through prayer, and they trusted in the God of the Multiverse.

Their prayers were answered by the will of God who comprehensively sees all things; therefore, He answered their prayers in a way that would be the best fit for them or the situation they encountered.

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God told Samuel to fulfill the people’s request. This was not because their request was good for them, because since they were three-dimensional beings, they saw the now and not the future!

God saw their future, and He knew that a king would bring them hardship and misery. Israel forgot to trust in God; therefore, they would eventually suffer the consequences of their diminished confidence and trust in Him. When we insist on deviating from God’s plan, then we suffer the consequences. Israel’s premature request for a king was their downfall, and our premature request could be our downfall.

God wanted Israel to know that there would be problems connected with having a king. but Israel believed that their problems would be solved if they had a king. While some problems may have been solved, a king would bring a different set of problems. They needed to weigh the benefits of having a king against their existing problems and the history of God’s theocracy. We need to do the same thing! When we fail to rely on God to solve our problems and rely on our solutions, our problems can be easily exacerbated.

The world is in turmoil today. There are “wars and rumors of war;” Nations are rising against nations; there are famines and 12

earthquakes. We see these things and panic when we should be calm because these events are merely signs of the inevitable end of this stage of our history. We need to let go, and let God, because brighter days are coming.

God is in control, and He will lead us into a utopian experience where there will be no more wars or rumors of wars.

“The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them. And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together: and the lion shall eat straw like the ox. And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice' den. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea (Isaiah 11:6-9).”

My final words to you are to obey God’s voice and trust in the Lord. Israel wanted a king to replace the King! “A king to rule “over us, that we also may be like all the nations, and that our king may judge us and go out before us and fight our battles.”

They should have kept their King, “the Lord of lords and King of kings.” Let’s not reset God’s design for us, because there are 13

multiple benefits in accepting God’s will in our lives. One benefit is the gift His son provided following His vindication at the cross.

His promise to you and me is found in 1 Thessalonians the fourth Chapter verses sixteen and seventeen, “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so, we will be with the Lord forever.�

Let go, and let God take control of your life.

Put your trust in the Man who walked on water.

Put your trust in the Man who healed the blind.

Put your trust in the Man who healed the lame.

Put your trust in the Man who fed the multitude with five loaves of bread and five fish.

Put your trust in the Man who resurrected the dead.

Put your trust in the Man who interrupted an eternal existence, suffered indignities when He sojourned on planet earth, died for my sins and your sins, and rose from the grave to establish the surety of that great resurrection that is soon to come.

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Hope for Tomorrow It will not be long before the earthly records say I flew away.

When that day arrives, I would like my legacy to be that I left more positive footprints than negative footprints during my sojourn on planet earth. My hope is for tomorrow, and the glory of the Lord reigns forever for “…though…worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.” I have had three episodes of cancer. The first episode was an enlarged polyp in my intestinal tract. The evolution of cancer cells in the polyp was the result of poor advice given by a physician in the early nineteen nineties. During a colonoscopy, the physician removed three polyps from my intestine. He advised me to see him in ten years. I am not sure why he gave me that terrible advice! I learned years later that if, after a colonoscopy, the physician removes polyp, then, depending on family history, the patient should have another colonoscopy in three-five years. I waited ten years!

The enlarged poly had cancerous cells in the middle.

Intermountain Health Center referred me to Dr. Kim, a cordial colorectal surgeon, on staff at the LDS Hospital. He spent a great 15

deal of time assessing my situation and advised the surgical removal of six inches of my colon. After consultation with five University of Utah medical practitioners and my wife, I decided to have the surgery. The procedure was successful and additional tests proved that cancerous cells didn’t spread.

Soon after the colon problem, malignant neoplasm was found in one-quarter of my prostrate. That was bad news! I had to decide on a treatment protocol. I decided on brachytherapy. The procedure was effective and my prostate-specific antigen (PSA) decreased from 10.5 nanograms per milliliter of blood to 0.99 nanograms per milliliter of blood. That was great news. I am very thankful that God answered my multiple prayers and the prayers of the saints.

To my consternation and disappointment, a third episode emerged after the colon and prostrate episodes. This third episode was more threatening and more dangerous.

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The Following are my Thoughts of the Lord and I on the Battlefield with Esophageal Cancer December 24, 2019 The Beginning Often, it’s not easy to pinpoint the specific origins of difficult problems. In September 2019, during a northern European Cruise, I noticed a preconditioned medical problem that would eventually escalate into an arduous ordeal. When I boarded the Mediterranean Shipping Vessel Meraviglia, I had a swallowing problem that exacerbated over time as I enjoyed the serenity of this wonderful voyage. Immediately, I thought that Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) was the source of the problem. Wow, I was barking up the wrong tree. The anticipated joy of my well-coordinated/orchestrated vacation diminished because of my inability to enjoy the ubiquitous cuisines provided by this magnificent cruise vessel. Later, I discovered that there was an abominable growth percolating in my lower esophagus slowly growing with an insidious intent!

Why did this terrible disease invade my body?

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December 27, 2019 The Problem When I returned to Salt Lake City, Utah, I made an appointment with my primary physician. She prescribed sodium pantoprazole, the sodium salt of an organic molecule containing sulfur, nitrogen, fluorine, carbon, and oxygen, for GERD; however, the medication was ineffective.

We decided to schedule an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. The colonoscopy came back negative, but the physician, Dr. Christian, removed a benign polyp. On the other hand, the endoscopy exhibited a distal esophageal lesion approximately 35 cm from the incisors that extended 3 cm down toward the gastroesophageal junction. An endoscopic ultrasound suggested that the lesion had invaded the outermost wall of the esophagus with the development of one positive regional lymph node. This was a serious diagnosis that would require immediate medical intervention. Without the results of the biopsy and or the ultrasound, Dr. Christian suggested that the growth was cancerous.

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December 31, 2019 Medical Protocol I was referred to four specialists, and they suggested the following aggressive medical protocol: 1. Implantation of a port on the right upper shoulder 2. Twenty-three 15-minute high-energy photon bombardments into the disease esophageal region.

3. Six chemotherapy treatments via IV infusion with Taxol (a cancer medication that interferes with the growth and spread of cancer cells) and Carboplatin (used to treat ovarian cancer, lung cancer, head, and neck cancer, brain cancer, and neuroblastoma). These chemicals may have side effects, i.e., nausea, hair loss, lowering of the blood pressure, diarrhea, mouth sores, memory loss, and numbing of the fingers and toes.

4. The final step of the procedure would be an invasive surgical procedure resulting in re-sectioning my esophagus and stomach.

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January 04, 2020 Why? My medical protocol began the day after Christmas, and it started with a minor surgical procedure. A physician assistant implanted a port on the left side of my chest. The surgery occurred at the Intermountain Healthcare Hospital on State Street.

The first high energy photon bombardment occurred on Monday, December 30, 2019, at the Riverton Intermountain Healthcare Hospital. The first chemotherapy session took place at 11:15 am on Tuesday, December 31, 2019. The Utah Cancer Specialists located on the premises of the Jordan Valley Medical Center (9000 South and Bangerter Highway) coordinated the chemotherapy session. The process lasted about five hours. After the session, I breathed a sigh of relief with the hope that future sessions will be shorter.

I asked a salient question, “Why”? By faith, I believe that God’s plans are holistic, and His will is without question. He is a multidimensional being who sees all possible futures. His ability to move in many dimensions is His opportunity to address our extremities.

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The following illustrates God’s ability to see all possible futures.

A two-dimensional being observes a basketball entering his universe. Initially, the basketball appears as a dot. Then, it forms a series of circles with increasing radii with precise patterns.

Eventually, the radii reach a maximum and decrease symmetrically until the circles collapse into another dot. The twodimensional being doesn't understand this observation. He is unable to rationalize the observation. A three-dimensional being enters the two-dimensional being’s universe and explains to him that a basketball entered and exited his universe. Even though the two-dimensional being does not fully comprehend the phenomenon, he believes that the three-dimensional being gave him a viable and accurate explanation of the event. Analogously, God sees all possible futures. He initiated humanity’s beginning, and He will execute humanity’s end. So, I should trust His ability to view all my possible futures. My mantra should be “let go and let God”.

So, "why?" becomes a moot issue, because, like the twodimensional being who see things with two-dimensional realities without three-dimensional perspectives, I see events with threedimensional mentalities without multi-dimensional perspectives.

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What is this that makes my life so beautiful?

January 06, 2020 I listened to commentators describe conflicts, confusion, and rumors of wars that are ongoing in our three-dimensional universe. I listened to the pros and cons of a key Head of State ordering the assignation of a person of interest he perceived as a threat to democracy. I heard about concerns of vengeful retaliation. I heard about impending impeachment issues. I heard about divisive issues between the two major US political parties.

These reports led me to reason, without judgment, that people fall under three generic types for people - those who sincerely/truly care for and love people. These individuals have discovered the purpose of life – to love one another unconditionally.

Then, there are the haters, demeanors, bulliers, and criticizers.

The haters are cantankerous individuals who do not understand that all of God’s creations should be cherished. “Jesus loves…all the children of the world. Red, yellow, black, or white, they are precious in His sight.” They will stand at the door, and knock…and the door will not open.

Finally, there are the people fence straddlers. They embrace the majority decision without thinking, and they are unwilling to be valiant. They follow noncommittal paths.

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The people who love will see the face of Jesus.

The people who serve out of love will see the face of Jesus.

Jesus is love.

Lying beneath the Truebeam Varian Medical System, a machine with a 7-million-dollar price tag (including a $1.5M software package), I waited for the high energy photons to penetrate my body. During the process, God's words reverberated in my ears, “I will be with you”. I listened to the melodious voices of Mary Mary. “What is this that took my life and made it beautiful? What is this that holds me close and never lets me go? What is this that tells me better days are yet to come? It’s your love that gives me mercy every morning….” Eternity hinges upon our ability to love.

January 07, 2020 Others Before Self On the Jordan Valley Hospital Campus, I selected a comfortable spot in front of a fireplace with an amazing view of the eastern slopes of the Oquirrh Mountains. My attention turned to the left and I saw a person I worked with at the College. He was at the Clinic to support his wife who was undergoing treatment for 23

stage four colon cancer. Oh, how our conditions pale when we discover the unfortunate situations of others.

He was extremely optimistic! I interrupted my self-thoughts and told him that I would remember his family in prayer. He reciprocated by telling me that he and his church family would remember me in prayer. We talked about the power of prayer and the unbroken chain that creates its mighty force. The prayers of the saints are like an array of connected telescopes traversing the immensity of time and space giving us a view of the unknown and the unseen. The force of multiple prayers collides with the Ultimate Force, and He responds with the Wisdom and experience characteristic of a multiple dimensional being.

I thought about the ring of fire that appeared in the positron emission tomography (PET) scan of my lower esophagus. The radioactive sugar suggested that there was a ring of fire poised on the precipice of an eruption. I have faith that the mighty hand of God guided the physicians as they diagnosed the problem, and I am thankful that the invading cells did not explode and move from the esophageal wall to surrounding organs. I know that the mighty hand of God guided the thoughts of the physicians as they contemplated, and then suggested, a recommended protocol to address the issue.

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January 08, 2020 “…Love…Your Neighbor as Yourself” After eight days of treatment, I eat too fast. I did not feel the esophageal obstruction or the discomfort that usually accompanies food as it journeys through the esophageal canal.

The insidious invader reminded me of its existence. Just before entering the stomach, I regurgitated hastily ingested food. I waited for a few minutes, and then I was able to complete my meal. I chased the meal with four ounces of a green smoothie (consisting of almond milk, spinach, banana, cashews, and a plant-based protein).

Also, I experienced a mild case of constipation from either chemotherapy or photon radiation treatments. I took two 8.6 mg capsules of Senna-S, and they slowly worked magically. It’s almost 12:30 pm on Wednesday, January 8, 2020, and I have no major side effects from yesterday’s chemotherapy.

Today was my seventh high energy photon treatment using the high price Truebeam Varian Medical System. I truly appreciate the staff for providing soothing background music during my brief presence under the beaming process. The staff is amazing…they played Tamela Mann’s powerful song- “Take Me 25

to the King”, “Take me to the King, I don’t have much to bring…Lay me at the throne…To gaze upon your glory” The music relaxed me as the beam did its job.

Amazingly, I didn’t experience the anticipated side effects that could accompany my medical protocol. I am blessed by His Mighty Hand. I am reminded of the message in the song Keep Your Hand on the Plow ”…Keep your hands on the plow, hold on…When my ways get dark at night, I know the Lord will be my light…keep your hands on the plow, hold on.” I particularly like Steve Mackey’s rendition.

My neighbors have been extraordinary. When John and Cheryl heard about my ordeal, they sent messages of encouragement and prayers. They prepared delicious soups and desserts and brought them to our home. I truly appreciate their willingness and efforts to make this ordeal as palatable as possible. John drove me to my scheduled Endoscopy and Colonoscopy session. That was a thirty mile-drive one way (the distance between Herriman City and LDS Hospital on Eighth Avenue in Salt Lake City). Cheryl prepared some amazing dishes and brought them to our home.

They offered to take my spoiled AussieDoodle, Richie Rich, for his morning and evening walks. They have been amazing! Cheryl and John are examples of what Jesus said about love in John 26

13:1. “Now before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour came that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved His own which were the world, he loved them to the end.” This is another statement that shows that love is the purpose of life. Showing love will enable us to appreciate others (despite origin, religion, ethnicity, education, and philosophical perspective). Love allows us to meet the needs of others without expecting anything in return. I am very thankful for my neighbors, (John, Cheryl, and their wonderful family).

January 09, 2020 Mr. Truebeam After my eighth high energy photon bombardment, I still didn’t experience any of the negative side effects outlined by the physicians. I bask in the joy that I can claim His promise of delivery from the marauding invader. That insidious creature would like to strike me down! However, his stranglehold will be momentary, because I find delight in slapping him with the hand of God. “There is a war going on…between the powers of darkness and light. But…we will be victorious…[He] has promised that we win the fight. [So], put your foot on the head of the devil…, for victory is ours!”

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I laid quietly on the Truebeam gurney gladly accepting the photons bombarding my lower esophagus. I couldn’t feel a thing!

But I am told that the photons are doing their job, and they will be combating that insidious marauder for weeks to come.

I embrace the power of His Force, because “…He shall give angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.”

The ring of fire is dying out…praise His Holy Name…

I cautiously jumped from the gurney to snap a picture of where I had been…I am walking out on my own volition.

That old devil will be defeated... "...Amazin grace how sweet the sound that saved that wrench like me. I once was lost but now im found...there's a cross for everyone and there's a cross for me..." "Praise His Holy Name."

January 10, 2020 Embraced I went to bed early (around 6 pm) last night, and Richie Rich woke me at 10:30 pm. I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I started working on latent projects until I became drowsy at around 3 am.

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I climbed back in bed and slept for a couple of hours only to wake to a ubiquitous blanket of snow.

I realized that the normal 15-minute drive to Riverton IMC would require more time. In addition, I would take twice that time in my CT 200h Lexus. So, I was a little late arriving to ceremoniously shake Mr. Truebeam’s hand. I introduced myself to him for the ninth time. I felt like a diplomat negotiating a crisis that could have major life-sustaining implications.

Mr. Truebeam’s Staff streamed Kirk Franklyn narrating the voices of the Family. The Family made a joyful noise in praise of God’s everlasting glory. The voices of the Family quietly satiated the room. I heard Kirk say, “…Your victory is secure…” The calming music makes the ordeal more palatable. I truly appreciate my request of the Staff to stream Mary Mary into Mr. Truebeam’s lead-laden quarters.

I hurried into Mr. Truebeam’s waiting embrace, disrobed to my waist, and succumbed to his metallic clutches. He distributed packets of high energy photons into my infected esophagus. His aim is incredibly precise. His physics is amazing!

I signed in with a pain designation of "1" on a scale from 1 -10; however, when I left the hospital, approximately three miles into 29

my journey home, I felt a sharp pain in my chest. The pain lasted a few seconds on a scale of "6", and then the pain abruptly sequestered. I am not in a position to self-diagnose, but I am thinking that the pain may not be related to my therapy but to some secondary effect. I will remember to discuss this with three of my physicians at their earliest convenience. I will document any additional medical irregularities this weekend.

“Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.”

Genesis 2:3 I rested…

January 13, 2020 Something Else I got plenty of rest this weekend. I think my rest allowed me the opportunity to understand the significance of the Sabbath.

Generally, we feel that we need to be busy on the Sabbath doing the Lord’s work. Is our business truly the work that the Lord wants us to do?

I remained inside most of the time; however, I took walks with Richie Rich. I attempted to avoid crowds since the medical 30

protocol compromised my immune system and it’s the flu and cold season. This weekend, I noticed an irregularity in the color of my urine. Today, I informed my oncologist of this irregularity, and his nurse collected a urine sample. Tomorrow, they will take blood samples. I will not anticipate or prognosticate. I will wait for an appropriate analysis from my medical practitioners.

I received messages from friends indicating that they or their love ones are experiencing serious medical issues. We all need to petition the Great Healer to intervene on the behalf of the multitude, and it’s not just physical healing we need. All eight billion people on our globe need some kind of physical, emotional, spiritual, social, or financial healing. Without exception, we need prayer for ourselves and the multitudes occupying our planet – a globe in crisis. That thought forces me to contemplate the frailty of the human body and the reason for such frailty within a hostile universe. Biologists think that the micro and macro elements of the human body are magnificently designed. Theologians say that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made…” Psalm 139:14. So, they praise God for His creative design. Pragmatists say that our biological constructs depend on surviving the earth’s changing environments. I, for one, prefer to embrace the concept of an Intelligent Designer. Nevertheless, I wonder why the Grand Designer created such frail human beings 31

to populate a small blue sphere that hangs on the fabric of space in a dynamic and exploding universe.

Even though a microscopic image of the human brain looks very similar to a macroscopic image of the universe, the two are vastly different. Human beings cannot survive outside the earth’s atmosphere. Human beings have a finite survival rate outside the protective canopy of our breathable blue sphere. So, why did God make us so frail in a universe that’s alien to our survival? There must be something else!

There is Something Else out there that loves us…and counts the days we will be able to join them. The day we join them is the day that our “corruptible shall put on incorruption, and our mortal shall…put on immortality …”, and we shall shout, “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” 1 Cor 15:5455 I embrace that Something Else…

The Spirit of the Wind January 15, 2020 On January 14, 2020, the temperature was close to solidifying water, and the wind serenaded countless dancing air molecules.

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The sun had not quite kissed the Wasatch peak, and my trusty dog, Richie Rich, without a leash, advanced against the chilled air. He could hear the patter of size nine athletic shoes behind him, and he turned his corpulent body, intermittently, to ensure that I followed.

I followed Richie Rich's slow gait. The wind whispered in my ears as it competed with Mary Mary’s “what is this that I feel deep inside that keeps setting my soul afire…”. Soon, Richie picked up the gait, and, still some distance behind, I walked synchronously to the hum of the wind and the beat of the music.

Then, I thought, about the day of Pentecost when there was a sudden sound “like a violent wind blowing” that “came from heaven”. At that time, I felt His spirit satiated in the dawn of the day, and His peace enveloped me.

On January 14, 2020, I experienced a double whammy! Mr. Truebeam held me in his embrace, and I was the recipient of the Chair’s infusion of Taxol and Carboplatin through my arterial gateway. The physician assistant was concerned about blood in the urine. I asked her to carefully examine the positron emission tomography (PET) scan. Also, I asked her to run a prostatespecific antigen test. She diligently complied. She returned a 33

couple of hours later to inform me that blood in the urine may be the result of chemotherapy. I truly appreciated her tenacious approach to the issue. Her positive attitude and her quick response had a calming effect!

I was snappy at the Cancer Center because of an earlier experience I had with PayPal and the apparent inability of the medical practitioners to initially diagnose the sudden appearance of blood in my urine. I apologize for my snappiness. I need to “let go and let God!�

The worst part of the Chair’s interventions is the needle in the belly! So, I asked the nurse if there is an alternate method. He said that he would try switching to a different medication that could be infused via the port. The substitution worked. Members of the staff are amazing, and I appreciate their willingness to comfort me during this process.

Benadryl (diphenylhydramine), used to calm and relax patients, affects my ability to communicate. The effect lasts for several hours. So, they will reduce the amount of Benadryl when I visit on January 21, 2020.

In the Chair, I remembered the Spirit in the whispering wind and the randomly sashaying gas molecules in the chilled air.

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I will “trust in the Lord with all… [my] heart…and… [I will] not lean on my own understanding!” Proverbs 3:5 Shekinah Glory January 15, 2020 Late last night and throughout the early morning hours, a voice within my brain started asking questions. That voice identified itself as SC (Scientific Curiosity). SC asked the following questions: Why are you experiencing esophageal cancer when you never smoked or imbibed alcoholic beverages? You are a vegetarian, so why did normal esophageal cells mutate? Why aren’t you researching to see if you can identify a better answer other than probability theory? The doctor said that esophageal cancer is on the rise. Why? There must be an explanation!

I fully embrace the mantra, “let go and let God”, but SC had asked some salient questions that require answers. We live in societies where the dollar supersedes the value of life. So, I did some research, and I discovered a “smoking gun”. I came across an article that strongly suggests that Zantac is a bullet that's related to several types of cancers including esophageal cancer.

Wow, that was serendipitous! I racked my brain, and I remembered about two or three years ago, I started taking Zantac.

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My acid reflux was particularly troublesome when we visited Kenya and Ethiopia. In Ethiopia, I searched for the "Ark of the Covenant, but that’s another story for another time.

I forgot about this over-the-counter GERD soother. Voila, I found the culprit in my kitchen. So, this is a warning to all my friends and colleagues to cease using Zantac. "Cease and desist" is a phrase College lawyers discouraged me from using for fear of litigation. Now, I will use the phrase as it pertains to Zantac! If you are using Zantac, please cease.

I visited Mr. Truebeam this morning. He made me as comfortable as possible beneath his ever-seeing eye. As I gazed into His eye with an overhead view of treetops and blue shy, music permeated his lead-laden chamber, “My hallelujah belongs to you…all the glory belongs to you…”

I was at peace knowing that “all of the glory belongs to… [Him]” Today, when I looked upon the western slopes of the Wasatch Mountains, I thought about Moses on Sinai. There, he tabernacled with the Almighty and witnessed the delivery of the Decalogue. Moses' premier experience was an obstructed view of God where he was irradiated with Shekinah Glory. He had to wear a veil when he returned to the Valley and mingled with His people.

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I Thought about the Shekinah Glory when I looked at the western slopes of our eastern snow-capped Mountains.” …[I] have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14.

Oh, that I might reflect His character- kindness, mercy, and tenderness, but I must “let go and let God”.

January 17, 2020 “…A Reputation for Good Works…”

My quixotic nature emerges when I think about humanity versus good. I tend to think that there is good in everyone. Maybe that’s pollyannish, but it makes life more beautiful. Perhaps Sergio Leone adequately represented the true nature of humanity in his spaghetti western “The Good, the bad, and the ugly”.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all humanity could be good? Today, January 16, 2020, I am here to have a conversation about the “goodness” that good people do and leave the bad and the ugly to Mr. Leone.

My broken body will be healed with the prayers and positive thoughts of good people. For nearly eight decades, I have met good people from diverse faiths, diverse races, diverse 37

cultures, diverse schools, diverse neighborhoods, diverse workplaces, diverse states, and diverse nations. I have received calls from people praying for me. I am strengthened by your prayers and your encouragement. I thank God for your ebullient faith and good time nostalgic reflections. So, I send an avalanche of “thank-yous” to my enormous family (far and near), friends, former students, colleagues, co-workers, and neighbors who are amazing sources of strength and encouragement.

Today, I am now at the halfway point in chemotherapy and photon bombardments, and I am not suffering any of the anticipated side effects. My white cell count is at 237 (still in the normal range). A count of less than 90 would be problematic. So, God has been watching over me…He “knows what… [I am] thinking all the time. He sees the rising waves when the tide starts rolling in. He lets ...[me] know it’s gonna be okay…”

The prayers of the saints have been a mighty force, and God hears your collective voices! “What a Mighty God we serve…Angels bow before Him. Heaven and earth adore Him…”

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January 20, 2020 The Son of suns This morning, January 18, 2020, in the year when our eyes are wide open, I received a message of encouragement from my Huntsville family. I was so thankful for those inspirational words that I penned the following: It Doesn’t Matter The weather may be frightful, But God’s power is quintessentially delightful.

He saves us from imminent doom.

A world poised for inevitable gloom.

It doesn’t matter if it’s thundering and lightening.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a vortex swirling.

It doesn’t matter if the earth is whirling.

It doesn’t matter if magma is stirring.

It doesn’t matter if it’s tsunami Jane.

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It doesn’t matter if it’s even a hurricane.

Nothing much matters when it’s revealed The clouds rolled to unveil the “Son”.

The Blessed Hope soon to come.

Pain and destruction will cease to exist.

The “Son” of suns will be in our midst.

We have the Book as a base of faith.

So, thanks for the Word That takes us into that peaceful place.

God bless this Day and all days ahead With the endearing Words, we are forever fed.

Prayer is the opportunity to have an intimate conversation with the Grand Designer.

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“The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous and His ears are open unto their cry” Psalm 34:25 I am forever grateful for the prayers and kind thoughts of family, friends, and colleagues…

January 22, 2020 He Watches Over Us Monday, January 20, 2020, was my traditional “day on” rather than “day off”; however, my threshold level for volunteering asymptotically dropped. I could not leave the house and participate in crowded events. My white platelets dropped 25% since initiating my treatment protocol, and I have been admonished to stay away from crowds. Also, I experienced a couple of adverse side effects thought to be associated with chemotherapy – blood in the stool and urine accompanied by uncomfortable constipation which took a couple of days to abate.

God gave me the victory over this as well, and IMC (Riverton) was wonderful in suggesting a formula (1/3 cup of prune juice, 1/3 cup of Milk of Magnesia, and 1/3 cup of ginger ale) that allegedly claims to be greatly effective. I will see...

I am at a significant point in my treatment protocol. After today, I have seven more visits and hugs with Mr. Truebeam, and two 41

more visits with affectionate embraces with Chair, tailor-made to make me relax while he injects…

Again, I want to thank each person or group who has made recommendations for my healing and comfort. I am digesting all of your wonderful and wise counsel, but the warmest interactions have been your heartfelt and positive thoughts and your saintly prayers. My former Administrative Assistant brought her brother and nephew to have prayer and anointing. Wow, that was powerful! The church elders did the same, and I felt the power of His presence permeating the space of the anointings. My neighbor has brought tasteful dishes and has offered a helping hand. A Humanitarian Group sent a plant and an Uber ticket.

People have placed their prayer in diverse prayer boxes, and I feel the intensity of their heaven-bound petitions. “…there’s just one thing that I want to say”. Thank you, guys. “For all you've given me.” “With a grateful heart…” I just wanna thank…” you guys.

I am so appreciative of my wife, Alma. She has been just wonderful! She gave me a weighted blanket for Christmas, and it likes to hug. Last night, we snuggled under its weight as we accepted its embrace.

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January 26, 2020 The Chess Master Words like extraordinary, superlative, tenacious, and spiritual come to mind when I think about the creative and imaginative students who matriculated at a small church school (historically black) located in the Heart of Dixie. Those students were committed to John Dewey’s pragmatic philosophy that education is life, education is growth, and education is the continuous reconstruction of past experiences. They were visionary, and the majority have experienced the fruits of their visions.

They were hopeful during a time of southern anti-human rights disturbances and social injustices toward African Americans and other minorities (once again raising its ugly head in Land of the Free). They enjoyed challenging their inquisitive minds. They wanted to make a genuine difference in the world that disadvantaged them, and they did! They didn’t forget their roots, and they didn’t deescalate their spiritual momenta. They have made significant contributions in diverse disciplines, and now some are contacting me and making recommendations for my 43

recovery. I am truly grateful for their prayers and recommendations.

The acquisition of knowledge, though overwhelming, endures for eternity. In our small corner of the universe, we have been introduced to an inkling of what the universe has to offer. It doesn’t matter that the universe is a cataclysmic catastrophe.

When celestial objects, large or small, collide, knowledge abides.

A couple of days ago, I was just thinking about some of my Heart of Dixie students and the book, Organic Chemistry, Bridging the Gap, I wrote in honor of my mentor, loco parentis, and friend, Dr. Emerson A. Cooper (now deceased), who labored for decades serving Heart of Dixie students. I wrote the book because I truly wanted to bridge the gap between the complexity of the subject and an understanding of its complexity. I thought about the many times I introduced students to the simple chemical structure of cisplatin, discovered, by accident, more than five decades ago. Cisplatin stops cancer cells from multiplying, and its chemical structure is somewhere within the book’s 2000 pages. I never imagined that I would one day shake hands with its grandson, Carboplatin.

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Indeed, this world is separated by six degrees of separation and not just by the animate, but the inanimate as well.

This is my third battle with that insidious invader-the hacker of normal cells. I ingested some “Synergy Organic Kombucha” too rapidly, and I could feel that dastard intruder caballing in my esophageal wall near the sphincter muscle. What, say again, after eighteen photon bombardments by Mr. Truebeam and four embraces with Mr. Chair - he’s still there? Not for long!

He’s playing chess with me, but he doesn’t know that the Chess Master has taken my place. His propitiation paid the price, and He fights my battles! I will stand still, and not be afraid!

That insidious opponent is no match for the Chess Master, and the opponent I see today, I will not see again, because the “Lord will fight for…[me], and …[I] will hold [my] peace.”

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January 29, 2020 Count Your Blessings The following cartoon is revealing:

I thought that the perspectives illustrated in the cartoon are salient, and they focus on an important axiom. Though you do not understand your physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual condition, you must “trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths� (Proverbs 3:5 and 6).

Some wish for a new car because, for diverse reasons, they desire one. Some wish for a car (new or used) because they do not have 46

access to any type of motorized vehicle. Some wish for a bicycle because their only means of transportation is walking, and they don’t have the financial means to purchase a bicycle. Then, some wish they can walk because they are paraplegics or quadriplegics.

I once heard an academic leader say, “don’t criticize your colleagues until you have the opportunity to walk in their shoes."

Some have criticized Christ, and they don't trust Him; however, have you walked in His shoes or have you walked the path He traveled and met the people He met?” Perspectives are everything!

Two days ago, I had a conversation with a friend, a very wise sage. He told me about a serious operation performed on a loved-one. The medical procedure forever interrupted an important anatomical function. Her life will be forever altered!

During the last several days, I read and heard about the helicopter crash that took the lives of Kobe Bryant, his beautiful thirteenyear-old daughter, Gianna, and seven other precious souls.

Several days ago, I spoke with a physician friend who told me that he had attended three funerals within the same week. I inadvertently ran into a previous college colleague at the hospital.

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I hadn't seen him in almost two decades. I inquired about his presence and his health, and he told me that his wife has stage four colon cancer. Her aggressive treatment will require fifteen (15) months of chemotherapy followed by a major surgical procedure.

When I think about those who were and are impacted by difficult circumstances, my perspective dramatically changes, and I “count...[my] blessings, …[naming] them one by one…." My trials pale compared to what so many global families and family members have gone through and are going through. Their losses are immeasurable, and my heart goes out to them.

It’s difficult being cheerful when reality stares you in the face.

However, “a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22). Metaphorically speaking, when bone marrow dries, it’s too late for any kind of rejuvenation. In fact, at that point, you are spiritually and emotionally dead! However, when your bone marrow is moist, you have the opportunity for genuine healing and an enhanced opportunity to increase your strength. A negative attitude invites you to the grave; whereas, a positive attitude sends messages of hope, healing, and the opportunity for a cheerful life (here or 48

There). "[So,] count your many blessings, every doubt will fly, and you will keep singing as the days go by.�

January 28, 2020, I completed my twentieth embrace with Mr. Varian Truebeam (the first time that I mentioned his full name) and my fifth visit with Carboplatin T. Chair. This is the first time I mentioned the full name of the mysterious "collective (clones joined in androgynous "marriage blanc" comfort).

The outcome of the results from yesterday's (01/28/2020) blood tests are: (1) my white blood cells have dropped 38% since initiating the medical protocol; (2) my Hemoglobin has dropped 7.5% since initiating the medical protocol; (3) my platelets have dropped 32.3% since initiating the medical protocol; (4) my bilirubin has dropped from 1.0 mg/dL to 0.3 mg/dL since initiating the medical protocol. This is a good sign because elevated bilirubin is indicative of liver damage.

The bottom line is that everything appears to be within normal range after completing 91% of high energy photon bombardment and 83% of chemotherapy. Friday, January 31, 2020, I will 49

forever separate from Mr. Varian Truebeam, and next week, I will stand up and sit no more on any of Carboplatin T. Chair's chairs. I say and I say again, "good riddance"; however, I am extremely grateful for what the chairs have done and the assistance of their servants, the amazing Staff. Thank you, Dr. Lee and Dr. Call!

Also, I received an unexpected and celebratory prostate-specific antigen result of 0.99 ng/mL (an enormous drop from the double digits of yesteryear). This is the result of Brachytherapy treatment that lasted for about a year until the radiation asymptotically approached zero. Thank you, Dr. Lee and Dr. Waterman. You guys are amazing, and I am grateful that God used your skills to initiate my healing! Finally, I have experienced very little weight loss during this medical protocol. I started this journey at 165 pounds, and, as of January 28, 2020, I am 161 pounds. Amazingly, my appetite has improved throughout the protocol. I can sense the diminishing tumor, but its reduced presence is waiting for another opportunity to do its insidious damage. That's not going to happen, because there will be phase two of the protocol - the giant slayer of a different kind, Dr. David! More about that later. Also, I am grateful to Dr. Gladys and Dr. Michael for directing me to holistic medication 50

that boosts the immune system. I anticipate going through that protocol during February before the Slayer of Esophageal Tumors initiates phase two.

“God is good all the time He put a song of praise in this heart of mine …through the darkest night, His light will shine…”

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and positive thoughts.

Please keep the petitions and thoughts alive, because the journey has not ended!

I am cheerful for what He has done, and “and there’s just one thing I want to say, thank you Lord. ” And I want to offer prayers for families and family members everywhere who have experienced and are experiencing issues of any kind. I would like you to join me in offering holistic prayers and positive thoughts for those families and family members who are experiencing physical, emotional, financial, social, spiritual, or any other categorical classifications that require intercessory intervention.

The message I want to emphasize is Christ's message that the purpose of life is love. Our responsibility on planet earth is to love everyone regardless of who they are, where they are, or what 51

they are. Wouldn't it a better world if love dominated the planet, and people resolved their differences. We would conquer diseases and sicknesses. We would feed the hungry. We would significantly diminish incarcerations and recidivism. We would clothe the naked. We would be the "sheep" and not the "goats". The world would abide in peace and harmony. We would be integrated members of one race- the human race.

So, in the immortal words spoken by Charles Dickens’ Tiny Tim, let's pray “…God bless us, everyone!”

January 31, 2020 The Last Hurrah Part I During my undergraduate years, I heard a story about Svante Arrhenius (a late nineteenth century/early twentieth-century chemist and physicist). The story alleges that Arrhenius defended his doctorate wearing tails. His research in physical chemistry alerted the scientific community to the dangers of atmospheric carbon dioxide, an issue that correlates with the Greenhouse Effect. Ironically, there are influential doubters with "eyes wide open" living in the Twenty-First Century!

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I thought I would celebrate my final visit with Mr. Varian Truebeam in an Arrhenius fashion. So, today (01/31/2020), I wore my tuxedo to celebrate my last hurrah with the Photon Emitter. Following the last session, the Staff, just an amazing group of people, presented me with a Certificate of Completion, and I rang the celebratory “bell� with the hope that this day will be our last dance together.

February 04, 2020 The Last Hurrah Part II Today, February 04, 2020, I had my final encounter with Mr. Carboplatin T. Chair (TC). The final experience was different.

Once the technician introduced Benadryl into my port system, I felt extremely tired and slept through 90% of the treatment. The treatment commenced at 8:30 am, and the previous five treatments occurred at 12:45 pm; therefore, the time differential may have impacted my behavior. The doctor examined me, and he said that, under the circumstances, I was in great shape, but I need to continue to watch for potential side effects. My weight dropped 2% (based on the precision of the medical balance). My white blood cells dropped 52%, and my platelets dropped 62.8%.

The decrease in white blood cells means that I am susceptible to 53

infections from diverse sources. Consequently, I have been advised to stay away from large groups for another three-four weeks. Finally, I noticed that, after the treatment, responses to questions were combobulated for several minutes.

My responsibility is to carefully monitor my temperature, and I will need immediate medical intervention if my temperature exceeds 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit.

This morning, TC graciously relinquished his hold, and I rang the celebratory Bell. I was given a bottle of sparkling cider with a certificate of completion attached. “Through it all…I’ve learned to depend upon His Word…I’ve been lots of places, I’ve seen lots of faces…[but] I’ve learned to trust in God.” I would like to say thanks for your help during this challenging period. You have done a great job of articulating my issues and developing a medical protocol to address my esophageal cancer.

Also, I would like to thank some of my formal students who are presently practicing medicine. They have offered advice, counsel, and prayers during this challenging part of my life as well. They are: Dr. Wilcotte Rahming, Gastroenterologist (Montgomery, AL) 54

Dr. Jesse Mitchell, Cosmetic Surgeon (Southern, California) Dr. David Grandison, Retired Physician (Huntsville, AL) Dr. Karen Higgin, Psychology (Northern, California) Dr. Joni Parker, Family Medicine (San Diego, CA) Dr. Moses Awoniyi and Dr. Willatra Awoniyi (family Practice, Alabama) Also, there are a plethora of family members, professional friends, colleagues, members from diverse church groups, and previous students who I would like to thank them for their thoughts and prayers during Phases 1 and 2 of my medical protocol. This was a labor of love, and I appreciate your thoughts, advice, positive thoughts, and prayers sent out to the universe on my behalf.

I praise God for your friendship, thoughts, and prayers for a successful medical protocol and recovery.

Now, I am looking forward to Phase 2, the final chapter. Please keep the prayers ascending!

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February 17, 2020 “What is Man, That Thou Art Mindful of Him? The IMC kind medical practitioners expend considerable energy to ensure the comfort and safety of their patients. They utter words of gentle instructions for their patients’ impending medical procedures, and they apologize when pain and discomfort company the procedure. When they complete their work and they interpret the facial expressions of patients as satisfaction or dissatisfaction, they praise them for enduring the process.

Our human biological systems are vulnerable to diseases, accidents, deterioration from normal aging, and the destructive elements of the universe. We are not impervious to fire; we cannot breathe underwater; we cannot survive without air, and we are easily extinguished by earth’s abundant resources. So, with the frailties of humanity’s biological constructs, how did man dominate the earth?

Humanity’s reasoning capacity and communication skills are pivotal to the power of dominion. These were gifts from God. “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and overall the earth, and over 56

every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So, God created man in his image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth (Genesis 1:26-28).”

Though we are vulnerable in so many different ways, our reasoning and analytical skills keep us out of harm’s way.

However, as Yoda would say, “so easily, we move into harm’s way”. Frequently, it’s not controllable because life and death are impacted by our environments, by our lifestyles, by our diets, and by our deoxyribonucleic acids.

February 17, 2020 Heavenly Wheat on Earth On Sabbath, February 15, 2020, I added another phase to my esophageal cancer treatment. I changed Phase II, the final phase, to Phase III, and I added another phase, holistic medicine; therefore, creating three phases rather than two for attacking that insidious esophageal invader.

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I completed Phase I, photon radiation and chemotherapy. I am thankful to Mr. Varian Truebeam, Mr. C. T. Chair, and their technical staffs for a job well done. Even without the results of the CT contrast, I can feel shrinkage where the esophagus connects to the stomach. My faith in God’s omnipotent and omniscient healing power (Psalm 41:3: Psalm 103:2-3; Isaiah 38:15-16; Jeremiah30:17; and Matthew 14:36) sustained me.

Phase II, a new intervention, initiated February 16, 2020, and follows a holistic medical procedure using the Center of Awareness Food Supplement (COS FS).

Phase III (the Final Phase), previously Phase II, my anticipated surgery, will take place in mid-March.

The surface of the earth is approximately 200 million square miles with 30% dry land and 70% water. Ninety percent of the habitable land is occupied by nearly eight billion people (rounding to one significant figure). This leaves less than six million square miles for wilderness and wildlife; however, about 70% is true wilderness. Consequently, where the “buffalo roam” is less than 4 million square miles (about 2% of the earth’s surface). Huh, two percent is a comparatively small number, don’t you think? On the other hand, eight billion is a large 58

number; however, each individual represents only 0.000000001% of the world’s population. Again, a minuscule number (rounded to one significant figure), but, from God’s perspective, 0.000000001% is a large number. You may feel insignificant under the gigantic canopy of this chaotic world, but God knows the number of hairs on your head (Luke 12:7) whether you have an abundance of it or follicles that are clogged where hair once grew. He knows the number of follicles, and He keeps a record of the footprints, the accountability you left behind (Rev 20:12 and Matt 25:31-46). At the judgment throne, I don’t think that there will be an equal number of wheat and tare stalks; nevertheless, I believe that there is an innumerable number of wheat stalks who practice unconditional love, and whose mantras are based on the true purpose of life.

February 19, 2020 “Choosing to Live Br. Ben’s Miracle” I am impressed by a book that someone sent me from Uchee Pines, Alabama. The author is Dr. Benjamin R. Sanidad, Jr., and he tells the story of his victory over esophageal cancer in 1996.

Choosing to Live Dr. Ben's Miracle is a powerful personal testimony about his victory over terminal cancer. The book, 208 59

pages, is published by Remnant Publication. His story begins with an excruciatingly painful awareness of his esophageal cancer. He decided to have radical surgery, and the procedure resulted in the removal of his esophagus and the relocation of his stomach into his chest.

More than a quarter-century ago, most surgeons used a medical protocol that included removal of the esophagus followed by several weeks of radiation and chemotherapy. Longitudinal studies showed that a more effective medical protocol is to reverse the process, i.e., chemotherapy and radiation followed by surgery. My physicians told me that surgery is required even if the cancer is not detected by PET or CT scans. One physician told me that longitudinal studies showed that the cancer returns in 50% of patients without surgery.

Dr. Ben decided against chemotherapy and radiation, and he earnestly prayed for guidance. His wife encouraged him to do eighteen days of a holistic medical program at the Hartland Wellness Center located in Virginia.

Initially, Dr. Ben (an anesthesiologist) believed that his disease would end his life. He re-engineered himself emotionally, 60

physically, and spiritually. He decided to follow the NEW START (Nutrition, Exercise, Water, Sunshine, Temperance, fresh Air, Recreation, and Trust in God) Program and to change to a plant-based diet. He followed a long and arduous medical procedure that led to full recovery from his esophageal cancer.

His story is inescapably inspirational and encouraging. I am grateful to the person who anonymously sent me the book.

Thank you whoever you are...

What’s next?

God knows!

That’s another chapter.

The biblical reference to threescore and ten (Psalm 90:10) is a measuring rod for determining the life span of a human being.

That indicator says my lifespan should be approximately 70 years. Well, I am approaching fourscore, and nature desperately wants me to fly away into the arms of Jesus and rest until the fulfillment of the advent movement delineated in 1 Thessalonian 4:16. I had hoped to see the fulfillment of Titus 2:13, the blessed 61

Hope, and to experience 1 Thessalonians 4:17. I still hold tenaciously to the promise!

I stand on the precipice of my impending flight; therefore, after nearly eight decades, I have the prerogative of assessing my growth and development.

I based my assessment on the equivalency of the coefficients implied by my assertion that: (1) growth and development connect with education; (2) growth and development are continuous reconstructions of our past experiences; and (3) that physical, social, intellectual, and spiritual powers inextricably connect with growth and development.

So, đ?‘?! = đ?‘?"# = đ?‘?"$ = đ?‘?% = 0.25 đ??ź = 90 đ?‘†"# = 85 đ?‘†"$ = 80 đ?‘ƒ = 70

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𝐺 = 0.25 (90) + 0.25 (85) + 0.25 (80) + 025 (70) 𝐺 = 22.5 + 21.25 + 20 + 17.5 𝐺 = 81.25

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