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T MIDNIGHT ON THE FIFTEENTH OF AUGUST NINETEEN-FORTYA FIVE BRITAIN LEARNT OF THE SURRENDER OF JAPAN. THE END OF WORLD WAR TWO HERALDED TWO DAYS OF COUNTRYWIDE CELEBRATIONS. FRED “FERRET” MCGLONE, A VETERAN REPORTER OF BYGONE WARS, AND HIS PALS WHO HAD SHARED DANGER DURING THE LONDON BLITZ, PLANNED A SLAP-UP FEED.
GUY FAWKES NIGHT IS EARLY THIS YEAR. GERCHA, BERTIE! IT’S V.J. — VICTORY IN JAPAN — DAY. THE WAR’S OVER.
STORY NORMAN ADAMS ART KEITH PAGE COVER KEITH PAGE
IF I’D RECEIVED A MEDAL FOR EVERY WAR I’D WRITTEN ABOUT I’D BE COVERED WITH ‘EM FROM HEAD TO FOOT.
4 FERRET WAS IN HIS ELEMENT WHEN RECOUNTING HIS ADVENTURES DURING VICTORIAN CONFLICTS. FORMER AIR RAID WARDEN PETE DOBBS WAS INTRIGUED, BUT FERRET’S OLD NEIGHBOUR, BERTIE BOND, HAD HEARD IT ALL BEFORE.
IT WAS A DOUBLE CELEBRATION FOR FERRET. HIS OLD NEWSPAPER, THE DAILY TRIDENT, HAD SENT REPORTER BILLY COX AND A PHOTOGRAPHER TO MARK HIS ONE HUNDREDTH BIRTHDAY. MY EDITOR, MISTER DOBBS, SENDS HIS GOOD WISHES AND WANTS A RIPPING YARN OF YOUR EXPLOITS.
YOU MUST HAVE LED AN EXCITING LIFE?
IS YOUR PENCIL SHARP, YOUNG ‘UN? COZ YOU’RE GOING TO NEED IT.
GOOD OLE ‘DIPPER’ DOBBS. I GOT HIM STARTED ON THE TRIDENT WHEN HE WAS KNEE-HIGH TO A GRASSHOPPER.
COR, BLIMEY! I’D BETTER DIG OUT MY OLE SLEEPING BAG. IT’S GOING TO BE A LONG NIGHT.
BILLY’S PENCIL DANCED OVER THE PAGES AS FERRET RECALLED A BRUSH WITH THE LAW AS A TEN-YEAR-OLD IN THE EAST END OF THE METROPOLIS. HIS CHOICE OF OLDER COMPANIONS, PICK-POCKETS SAM CRAIG AND JIM BATES, HAD LANDED HIM IN TROUBLE. BUT IT WOULD INDIRECTLY BRING HIM A CAREER IN NEWSPAPERS.
STOP THIEF! STOP THIEF!
HOOK IT, FREDDIE!
SAVE YER BREATH, COVEYS. I’M OFF.
5 THE OLDER BOYS GAVE THEIR PURSUERS THE SLIP BY DODGING DOWN A LANE BUT FERRET WAS WRONG-FOOTED.
CRIPES! WOT NOW?
URFF!
THE BOY WAS BROUGHT CRASHING TO THE GROUND BY THE POLICEMEN’S WELL-THROWN BATON. AS HE PROTESTED HIS INNOCENCE HE WAS DRAGGED ALONG THE STREETS TO THE LOCK-UP.
SO HELP ME, OFFICER. I’M NO PICK-POCKET.
SAVE YOUR BREATH FOR THE BEAK, YOU SCOUNDREL.
6 AFTER A NIGHT IN A STONE CELL HE APPEARED IN THE LOCAL POLICE COURT. THE “BEAK”, SLANG FOR MAGISTRATE, ASKED THE ARRESTING OFFICER WHAT THE CHARGE WAS AGAINST THE ACCUSED.
AT THIS POINT DOCTOR BENEDICT LIVESEY SPOKE UP FOR FERRET. HE REPRESENTED A CHARITABLE BODY DEDICATED TO FREE EDUCATION FOR WAIFS AND STRAYS WITH NO SERIOUS CRIMINAL RECORD.
YOUR WORSHIP, THIS BOY’S LIFE HAS BEEN BLIGHTED BY TERRIBLE TRAGEDY. HE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE.
THEFT, YOUR WORSHIP. BUT I FOUND NOTHING ON HIS PERSON, AND NO WITNESSES.
THAT’S TELLING HIM, GUV’NOR.
IT WAS TWO OTHER GEEZERS WHO DONE IT, YER LORDSHIP.
FERRET’S WIDOWED MOTHER AND SIBLINGS HAD BEEN BURIED ALIVE WHEN THEIR TOTTERING RUIN OF A HOME IN THE ST.GILES ROOKERY, A NOTORIOUS SLUM, COLLAPSED WITH AGE AND NEGLECT. HE WAS THE ONLY SURVIVOR.
THE MAGISTRATE PLACED FERRET IN DOCTOR LIVESEY’S CARE. NEXT STOP WAS THE LOCAL RAGGED SCHOOL FOR POOR CHILDREN, SO CALLED BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS COULD NOT AFFORD TO BUY THEM NEW CLOTHES.
COR, THIS IS THE LIFE, MISTER!
IT’S NOT ALL PLAY, FREDERICK. YOU’LL BE TAUGHT BOOKLEARNING, WRITING AND ARITHMETIC. WE ALSO TURN OUT SHIP’S CARPENTERS AND COBBLERS.
7 FERRET KNUCKLED DOWN AT SCHOOL — HE EVEN TAUGHT HIMSELF SHORTHAND FROM AN OLD BOOK — AND LEFT WITH A GLOWING TESTIMONIAL IN JANUARY 1857. HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO A JOB INTERVIEW AS A JUNIOR CLERK IN A WAPPING SHIPPING OFFICE WHEN A NOTICE CAUGHT HIS EYE.
HM? THAT’S FOR ME.
EDITOR AND OWNER “INKY” INKSTER WAS PREPARING THE NEXT EDITION WHEN THEIR UNEXPECTED CALLER TOLD HIM HE WAS JOB-HUNTING. INKY WAS INTRIGUED BUT NOAH PARRY, HIS NEPHEW, SNORTED.
THE DAY YOU BECOME A REPORTER I’LL EAT MY HAT!
HE HAD SEEN THE OFFICER OF “THE DOCKLAND PACKET”. BEFORE NOAH COULD STIR FROM HIS CHAIR FERRET HANDED INKY A PILE OF NEWSPRINT. HE DECIDED TO TAKE HIS NEPHEW DOWN A PEG BY GIVING FERRET A CHANCE TO PROVE HIMSELF. THE FACT THAT THE LAD COULD WRITE SHORTHAND WAS A BONUS. BRING ME NEWS I CAN PRINT – AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT! WE’RE GOING TO PRESS THIS AFTERNOON.
THANKS, MISTER. I’M ON MY WAY.
JUMP TO IT, NOAH! THIS IS PRESS DAY REMEMBER.
8 THE PAPER PRINTED SHIPPING NEWS AND TOPICAL JOTTINGS. FERRET HAD ONE EYE ON A CHURCH CLOCK AND THE OTHER ON HIS NOTEBOOK AS HE INTERVIEWED SOME OF DOCKLAND’S CHARACTERS.
BLIMEY, I COULD FILL THE PAPER WITH THIS COPY.
AS A PRECAUTION INKY HAD ORDERED NOAH TO CHECK HIS CONTACTS FOR NEWS. BUT WHEN HE COMPARED HIS STORIES WITH FERRET’S IT WAS NO CONTEST. HE GAVE THE NEWCOMER A JOB AND HIS OWN COLUMN. YOU KNOW HOW TO FERRET STUFF OUT OF PEOPLE, LAD. DO YOU APPROVE OF YOUR NON-DE-PLUME?
THE FERRET? IT HITS THE MARK, SIR.
SLY FOX, MORE LIKELY.
9 NOAH PROTESTED IN VAIN AS HIS UNCLE WHIPPED AWAY HIS BOWLER AND STOOD POISED TO PLACE IT ON FERRET’S HEAD. GERROFF!
FERRET IS CHIEF NEWSMONGER NOW BUT NO NEED TO EAT YOUR HAT. IT WILL GIVE YOU INDIGESTION.
THAT SUMMER FERRET WAS NEWS GATHERING WHEN HE OVERHEARD A WHISPERED CONVERSATION BETWEEN SEA CAPTAIN SHADWELL PETE AND SHADY SHIPPING AGENT CYRIL TRABB IN MA GRINDLEY’S. DESPITE SOME OF HIS CREW BEING STRICKEN BY FEVER AT THEIR LAST PORT OF CALL IN NORTH AFRICA PETE REFUSED TO FLY THE YELLOW JACK QUARANTINE FLAG.
BLIMEY, PETE! YOU TOOK A RISK COMING ASHORE.
WE STAND TO LOSE A FORTUNE IF OUR CARGO ROTS. YOU COULD LOSE MUCH MORE IF YOU DON’T KEEP YOUR GOB SHUT.
THE SAILING SHIP, “WAPPING WITCH”, HAD MOORED IN THE THAMES ESTUARY TO LAND THE SICK. NOW IT WOULD UNLOAD ITS PERISHABLE CARGO AT WAPPING.
10 FERRET HURRIED TO THE PACKET’S OFFICE TO BREAK THE SENSATIONAL NEWS.
THIS IS TOO BIG A STORY FOR US TO HANDLE, FERRET, BUT I KNOW THE BLOKE WHO WILL GOBBLE IT UP.
INKY WASTED NO TIME IN TAKING A CAB TO THE OFFICES OF “THE TRIDENT”, A HIGH CIRCULATION NEWSPAPER.
YOU HAVE INFLUENTIAL FRIENDS, INKY.
YEAH, IF IT’S TRUE.
THE NEWS EDITOR, BEAU FEATHERSTONE, IS AN OLD CHUM OF MINE. WE WERE ON THE BETHNAL MESSENGER.
THE NEWSROOM WAS A HIVE OF ACTIVITY AND BEAU WAS IN NO MOOD FOR VISITORS. THE INFLUENTIAL LONDON BULLETIN HAD STOLEN A MARCH ON THE PENNY PAPER WITH AN EXCLUSIVE STORY BY ITS FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT OF MUTINY IN INDIA. DON’T WASTE MY TIME, INKY. CHARLIE BLACK HAS BEATEN US HOLLOW.
HE DOESN’T SOUND CHUMMY TO ME.
BEAU’S BARK IS WORSE THAN HIS BITE.
REBELLION IN THE RAJ He’s back — as you’ve never
seen him before! Veteran war reporter Fred “Ferret” McGlone celebrates his landmark 100th birthday in style — and reminisces about his earliest days as a roving newshound on the shady, cobbled back streets of Victorian London. Naturally, that’s only the half of it. What about Ferret’s thrilling adventures on the high seas? Or his dangerous despatches from the front line chaos at the heart of the British Empire in India? Get the inside scoop on this cracking story — a Commando exclusive, of course. It’s one you won’t want to miss!
Recall: R19-11-May-11
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