HEN THE GERMAN WAR MACHINE WAS TURNED AGAINST GREECE IN APRIL 1941 A W HURRIEDLY ASSEMBLED BRITISH AND COMMONWEALTH EXPEDITIONARY FORCE WAS RUSHED THERE IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO STEM THE TIDE. AMONG THEM WAS A NEW ZEALAND ARTILLERY COMPANY LUMBERED WITH, IN THE EYES OF TOUGH BUT GRUMPY SERGEANT BRIAN DUFFY, THE MOST UNSUITABLE OF GUNS.
BOGGED DOWN AGAIN? STREWTH, I HATE THESE FOUR-AND-A-HALF-INCH MEDIUM GUNS AS MUCH AS I HATE AUSTRALIAN CRICKETERS!
STORY ALAN HEBDEN ART JAUME FORNS COVER IAN KENNEDY
4 AS BRIAN SUPERVISED THE HAULING OPERATION TO FREE THE GUN HE WAS VISITED BY EAGER YOUNG GUNNERY LIEUTENANT JEFF COUTTS, WHO HAD THE KNACK OF SAYING THE WRONG THING. IT’D BE EASIER IF YOU KEPT THE GUN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD WHEN IT’S BEING TOWED.
YOU TRY AND KEEP AN EVEN KEEL WITH A GUN WHEEL THAT’S GOT A WONKY BEARING. IT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN PASSED FOR SERVICE, EVEN IF IT IS AN EMERGENCY.
JEFF RELAYED THE NEWS TO THE COMPANY COMMANDER, MAJOR DOUG VERRITY. THE HARASSED OFFICER HAD PLENTY OF SYMPATHY WITH THE GUNCREW SERGEANT.
HE’S RIGHT, OF COURSE. THEY PULLED THESE GUNS STRAIGHT OUT OF ACTION IN NORTH AFRICA TO AWAIT A FULL OVERHAUL THEN SHIPPED THEM HERE WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A SQUIRT OF OIL BY WAY OF SERVICING. SO FAR THEY’VE BEEN A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.
OH, RIGHT YOU ARE, SIR.
5 MOMENTS LATER THE ALARM WAS RAISED AS A FLIGHT OF Me110s CAME INTO SIGHT. THE COLUMN, UNABLE TO DEFEND ITSELF, TRIED UNSUCCESSFULLY TO SCATTER.
LOOK OUT!
WITH ANY LUCK THE JERRIES MIGHT TURN THE GUNS INTO SCRAP AND SAVE US A LOT OF BOTHER.
DOUG’S HALF SERIOUS HOPES WERE ABRUPTLY DASHED AS SUSTAINED BURSTS OF ANTI-AIRCRAFT FIRE FROM NEARBY SHOT DOWN TWO OF THE ATTACKING AIRCRAFT IN AS MANY SECONDS. BRIAN WAS EQUALLY SURPRISED.
WHAT THE...?
6 THE FIRING CAME FROM AN AUSTRALIAN COLUMN COMING UP BEHIND THEM, THEIR TRUCKS MOUNTING CAPTURED ITALIAN BREDA GUNS, A POTENT ANTIAIRCRAFT WEAPON. BRIAN GROANED AT THE EMBARRASSMENT OF IT.
OH NO, SAVED BY AUSSIES! WE’LL NEVER LIVE IT DOWN!
HAVING SEEN OFF THE GERMAN ATTACK THE AUSTRALIANS DROVE PAST JEERING, DETERMINED TO RUB SALT INTO THE WOUND.
RUDDY USELESS KIWIS!
GET BACK HOME TO YOUR SHEEP AND LEAVE THE FIGHTING TO REAL SOLDIERS!
I HATE THIS WAR.
7 A FEW MILES FURTHER ON THE WEATHER WORSENED AND ANOTHER GUN SLID OFF THE ROAD. THIS TIME, HOWEVER, IT WAS PROVING DIFFICULT TO RECOVER.
IT’S NO USE. THE LORRY CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF A GRIP TO PULL THE GUN FREE.
A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER AN INDIAN ARMY COLUMN TOWING 3.7 INCH MOUNTAIN GUNS PULLED ALONGSIDE. THE OFFICER IN CHARGE OFFERED TO HELP. WE CAN’T PULL THE GUN BACK ON THE ROAD. THE LORRY CAN’T GET A GRIP.
LET US GIVE IT A TRY. WE’VE GOT A TRIED AND TESTED METHOD.
8 WHO’D HAVE THOUGHT IT? MULES IN THIS DAY AND AGE.
THE TRIED AND TESTED METHOD WAS TO USE A TEAM OF MULES THAT THE COLUMN WAS ALSO TRANSPORTING. WHO’D HAVE THOUGHT WE’D BE LUMBERED WITH SUCH USELESS GUNS IN THIS DAY AND AGE!
THEY CRAWLED ON, FINALLY REACHING FLATTER MORE POPULATED COUNTRYSIDE AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO MORE TROUBLE.
PANZERS! SET UP THE GUNS!
9 WHEN FIRED IN ANGER THE FOUR-AND-A-HALFINCH GUNS PACKED A FORMIDABLE PUNCH, MORE THAN ENOUGH TO STOP A PANZER IN ITS TRACKS.
GOOD SHOOTING!
AS LONG AS WE CAN RELOAD BEFORE THE ONES BEHIND REACH US!
THE GUNS WERE REALLY INTENDED TO SUPPORT INFANTRY ADVANCES BY HITTING STATIC TARGETS FROM BEHIND THE FIGHTING. IN THAT ROLE A FIRING RATE OF TWO TO THREE ROUNDS A MINUTE WAS ACCEPTABLE. BUT IN A PITCHED BATTLE AGAINST A MOBILE ENEMY IT WAS A POTENTIALLY LETHAL SHORTCOMING.
THEY’RE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF OUR SLOW RATE OF FIRE TO OUTFLANK US.
QUICK, WE HAVE TO TURN THE GUNS TO MEET THEM!
10 TURNING THE CUMBERSOME ARTILLERY PIECES QUICKLY WAS NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE. WHERE ARE THE RUDDY MULES WHEN YOU NEED ‘EM?
FOR A FEW MOMENTS IT LOOKED AS IF THE NEW ZEALANDERS WERE DOOMED WHEN AN UNEXPECTED SALVO OF INCOMING SHELLFIRE STRUCK THE PANZERS.
NOT ANOTHER GUARDIAN ANGEL!