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U tO help We need YO the sneakY Us againstOU can spOt sOfties. Y nace sqUad fellOW Me Y learning MeMbers b enace sign! M OUr secret pp this page if YOU bli YOU hOW! i’ll shOW
The Softies are a gang of sneaky, tell-tale cheats, sneak led by Walter the bum-face. ce He wants to be Prime Minister and ban jokes, s, laughs ughs and pranks FOREVER! VER! The SofTY GANG YUCK! TheY’Re S ToTAL BUm-fACe
E H T N I JO
TO DAY!
We’re all in The Menace Squad cos anyone can join. School is the best place…to share jokes and pranks! Walter and his bum-faced buddies want to ban menacing.They’re like zombies who suck the funny bit outta your brain! The Softies suck! Geddit? Lol!
HOW TO USE BLIPPAR TO UNLOCK YOUR FREE SECRET ME NACE SQUA D GOODIES!
When you spot this logo, launch the free Blippar app (download in the App Store or Google Play). Hold your phone or tablet over the page it appears on, making sure you see the entire page on your screen. Your Menace Squad goodies will appear!
I’M LICENSED ! TO MENACE
! TOP SEcRET! Join th e M en ace Squad by using this co mic to co m pl et e th es e missio ns...
Pull five Menace Squad PRANKS! TICK
Once completed, you’ve earned your stripes and can cut-out-and-keep your Menace Licence! collect an amazing new card every week.
!
Th
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Joe is beanotown’s funniest boy!
G REA
FF
P P E R!
G
RI
E
TICK
Make 10 people laugh with Joe King’s fave jokes!
SY
P RAS bE
Y RR
ThE
This comic has SM SMELLYVISION STINKOLOGY! Pump it full of fa fart attacks by downloading your FREE Me Menace Squad iPrank app from the App Store or Google Play. You’ll have instant access to mobile menacing! Use the SUPER SOUNdbOARd and press these botty burp noises whenever yo you sp spot ‘em!!
E N GU
MENA + MINCXE = MATE S!
.
cA R d No.1
OFFICIAL LICENCE TO MENACE
#
# THIS CARD IS AWARDED TO: DATE COMPLETED:
ARE AbOUT! Watch out! ThE SqUELchIES h the comic oug thr all ng hidi Squelc hies are y’re tot ally The see how ma ny you can spot! notice to ms see This is a har mless - no- one even , squelchy! are ays alw y the t the y’re there...bu waiting, watching...farting! nace colours – P.S. Rem ember to wear the me the cha nce! get you er nev an black – whe red and
Watch Secret Menace Sign vid! Read Beanotown Comics Download a Vincent Van Plug Poster! Do The Menace Maze Puzzle - trick a grown-up! Discover The Beano Annual 2015 sneak peek! Listen to the NEW Diary of Dennis the Menace book!
WARNING! boring grown-up stuff inside this box… Published in Great Britain by DC Thomson & Co., Ltd, 185 Fleet Street , London, EC4A 2HS. © DC Thomson & Co., Ltd. 2014. CONTACT DETAILS By post: The Beano, DC Thomson & Co., Ltd, 80 Kingsway East, Dundee DD4 8SL. Email: beano@dcthomson.co.uk Please remember The Beano regrets we can’t respond to unsolicited submissions. We can only reply to correspondence including an SAE.
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PROMOTIONAL COPY. NOT FOR RE-SALE
3
Uh-oh! Here comes trouble!
IT WAS FOR NASTY WALTER!
THIS IS DENNIS THE MENACE. DON’T WORRY, THAT TOMATO ISN’T MEANT FOR YOU!
THE YETI IN THE FOREST…
Why The Long Face, Walter?
I Hate This Town.
THE ZOO ESCAPES…
THE HAUNTED HOUSE…
WHAT? BEANOTOWN IS AWESOME! IT’S A BIT QUIET TODAY, BUT WHAT ABOUT…
THE CAVES UNDER THE SCHOOL…
THE SKATEPARK…
BANANAMAN…
THE MUTANT RATS…
THE SEWER CROCS…
DENNIS, YOU’RE A FOOL! ALL THOSE THINGS ARE JUST A FIGMENT OF YOUR CHILDISH IMAGINATION! IF YOU’D ONLY GROW UP A BIT, YOU’D SEE THAT IT WAS TRUE!
…AND THE ISLAND IN THE DUCK POND, WITH ITS STRANGE CREATURES AND LOST CIVILISATIONS!
DON’T FORGET THERE’S A BUTCHER!
BAH!
JOE KING’S
4
TOP 10 JOKES!
What do frogs drink? Croaka-cola!
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A FIGMENT RIGHT IN THE KISSER?
Tick it when you’ve told it!
JUST THEN…
this is beanoland...
DENNIS! YOU KNOW BEANOLAND THEME PARK?
IT’S FINALLY GETTING A ROLLERCOASTER – THE VOMIT COMET!
HEY! THESE AREN’T THE TEACUPS!
YEAH, IT’S TOTALLY LAME.
IT’S JUST SOME OLD BATHS!
BUT SOME GROWN-UPS WANT IT STOPPED!
USE YOUR IMAGINATION, SON! IMAGINE YOU’RE HAVING FUN.
see? totally lame! AT THE TOWN HALL…
AARGHH!
I CAN SPEAK FOR ALL OF BEANOTOWN’S CHILDREN!
WHY ARE GROWN-UPS SO PANTS?!
THE KIDS IN THIS TOWN ARE OUT-OF-CONTROL!
THE LAST THING THEY NEED IS A ROLLERCOASTER!
WELL, I’M GLAD WE’VE HEARD FROM A CHILD…
WE DON’T NEED EXCITEMENT! NOT WHEN WE HAVE THE THRILL OF SITTING STILL…
UH-OH! HERE’S SNEAKY WALTER AGAIN!
WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM, WALTER?
THAT’S NOT A CHILD! THAT’S WALTER!
…THE JOY OF LISTENING, AND THE FUN OF DOING WHAT WE’RE TOLD! mwah-HA-HA! WHY, INDEED? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO STAMP ON EVERYBODY ELSE’S FUN?!
WELL, I COULD BAN IT, I SUPPOSE. BUT WHAT DO THE KIDS THINK?
THEY’LL NEVER KNOW THAT IT’S FUN FOR ME TO SPOIL THE FUN OF OTHERS…
AND THAT ONE DAY I’LL BE PRIME MINISTER AND BAN FUN COMPLETELY… AND EVERYONE WILL HAVE TO DO EXACTLY AS THEY’RE TOLD! THAT’S WHY I HATE DENNIS… HE NEVER DOES WHAT HE’S TOLD!
5
MAYBE THIS RIDE SHOULD BE BANNED.
ER… DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD?
I NEED TO THINK ABOUT it SOME MORE.
HEY, LISTEN TO THIS!
I’LL MAKE MY MIND UP BY THE END OF THE DAY. UNTIL THEN, YOU LOT HAD BETTER PROVE TO ME THAT YOU CAN BEHAVE!
UGH!
HMM…
I Hate Fart Noises!
ON THE WAY HOME…
heh-heh! you’re funny!
YOU’RE NOT LISTENING! WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING?
DAD, YOU’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP!
THIS ISN’T A GAME – THIS IS MAPS!
LOOK, ALL YOU AND YOUR PALS HAVE TO DO IS BEHAVE FOR A DAY. THEN THE MAYOR WILL LET THE RIDE OPEN.
THAT’S NICE, DENNIS. A GAME I FOUND ON MY PHONE. AARGHH!
BEHAVE?
CLOSE BY… FOR A DAY? THIS IS SO UNFAIR!
THIS IS IT! THE START OF EVERYTHING!
DUDE, YOU’RE STILL TALKING OUT LOUD!
TODAY, BEANOTOWN – TOMORROW, THE COUNTRY… AND THEN THE WORLD!
JUST REMEMBER THE MAYOR HATES FART NOISES AND IT’LL BE FINE!
JOE KING’S
TOP 10 JOKES!
6
What fish do dogs chase? Catfish!
ALL WILL BOW DOWN BEFORE ME AND DO EXACTLY AS THEY ARE TOLD! to be continued...
Tick it when you’ve told it!
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T E K R A ! P M E R E E W P S SU 10 L D I W
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ae enac Dennis the M r’s anD Gnashe ll! Blow FootBa
OF PRIZES TO BE WON!
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the Beano: ! PrankiPeDia
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Gnasher: Dennis anD ace with en coMe M D! Me DV
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TO havE a chaNcE OF WINNINg, juST aNSWER ThIS quESTION: WhAT IS WALTER ThE LEADER of? a B
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The girl who’s tougher than all the boys!
I bet I can get minnie to cause loads of trouble, which will persuade the mayor to cancel that rollercoaster!
playing with my dolls.
hi, minnie! what are you doing?
you really are one of the menace squad! you’re just as bad as dennis!
how dare you! I’m a hundred times worse!
prove it, then! I bet you’re just like any other girl who likes flowers and puppies and make-up!
have you ever met me?
come with me, william. I’ll show you what girls like me like. my name’s walter.
whatevers.
five minutes later… okay, you need to keep your left hand up to protect your face, then you jab with your right.
8
I know exactly what to do.
ru-u-u-u-u-un!!!
maybe william was right. maybe I should be more lady-like, like an old-fashioned lady…
like my hero, boudicca, the warrior queen!
no, I need them to raise an army.
she must have minximatosis! she infects everyone who goes near her! still, if it helps me stop that pesky rollercoaster, I suppose I should be happy about it.
wuff!
are you finished with my dog and my shopping trolley? they can take our sweets and our scooters, but they’ll never take our comics! who’s with me?!!
to the ends of the earth, my queen!
minnie should be careful! she’s helping the softies now! I was on my way home from the office just two minutes ago, but all that feels like a distant memory now!
this is great! If it spreads as far as the town hall, the mayor will see the craziness and shut the rollercoaster down!
comics!
but, suddenly…
JOE KING’S
TOP 10 JOKES!
what happened? you’re the worst mob ever!
where did our queen go?
my wig! I know I had it before I joined minnie’s barmy army…
how odd! any guesses what just happened, readers?
Why is it difficult to open a piano? Because all the keys are inside!
Tick it when you’ve told it!
9
Rewind A Bit, To Earlier This Morning…
If You Can Call Twice The Speed Of Sound Quick!
What’s This?
A New Ride That’s Actually Quick?
Six Miles Away, One Second Later…
I’d Better Get Over There!
Nice Hat, Mayor!
Maybe This Ride Should Be Banned.
I Need To Keep Beanotown Quiet Until He Decides!
Minnie Doesn’t Know She Needs To Behave – I’d Better Find Her… Fast!
No Time To Explain! You Need To Come With Me, Minnie!
Hey! What Are You Doing?
Looks Like I’m Just In Time!
Sorry, Minnie. Everyone Needs To Behave Or The Mayor Is Going To Ban The New Rollercoaster! Are You Okay?
NO…
10
The Mayor’s Close To Banning That Ride!
What? Aargh!
Who Swapped My Hat For A Pirate Hat?
I Need To Think About This Some More.
A Quick Whizz-Speed Trip Later…
This Note Says There’s A Meeting At The Town Hall About It!
My Shoes Are On Fire!
Ha-Ha! Looks Like Whizz-Speed Was Too Much For Minnie’s Feet!
The unluckiest boy in the world! Meanwhile, back in beanotown…
Phew! I’m glad they got this pan off my head, alexander! I thought it was stuck for good this time!
No-o-o! I need to go-o-o! Disaster strikes as minnie’s flaming hot shoe leaves the atmosphere and takes out the international space station... and its toilet! How did you get it on there in the first place?
I don’t remember, but I’ve had my awful accident for the day, and I’d have to be really unlucky to have another…
It’s alright, james – I saved you!
Are you okay?
Wow! I nearly had another pan on my head – a toilet pan!
Just look out for flaming toilets falling from the sky in future.
No, but it had a sink! Are you okay?
JOE KING’S
TOP 10 JOKES!
Maybe I could get an app for that…
From now on I’m going to stand this far away from you, james. because of your bad luck, not the bad smell.
...No, wait! Yes…
What kind of cans are there in Mexico? Mexicans!
Tick it when you’ve told it!
It’s okay, alex. Space can’t have another flaming toilet to throw at me!
How did this pan get back on my head?
11
Uh-oh! Here comes trouble! Really? No Pranks? Dennis Is Guarding The Town Hall, Hoping To Keep Beanotown’s Chaos And Fart Noises Well Away From The Mayor…
Halt!
This Is A No-Prank Zone!
Dennis, I’m Your Gran! I Won’t Cause Any Trouble!
No Pranks.
No Crashes? No Explosions?
No Crashes.
No Explosions.
No Loud Fart Noises?
Er, I’ll Go Home. FIVE MINUTES LATER…
What Was That? It Sounded Like A…
Phew! That Was Close! I Need To Send A Message To All The Menace Squad To Tell Them To Lay Off The Pranks For Just One Day.
It Was An Elephant! Er, The Elephant Delivery Service Just Drove By And One Tooted To Say Hello!
It Wasn’t Me!
Aargh! Massive Fart!
Oh! Well, That Was Nice. Good, Because It Sounded A Bit Like A Colossal, Enormous Bottom Burp! What Was That?
Who Is Making These Awesome Pump Sounds?
A-Ha! There He Goes!
Don’t Be Silly, Mayor! No-One In Beanotown Would Ever Do That!
It Was… The Foghorn On The Lighthouse! Er, Very Foggy At The Seaside Today!
Tee-Hee-Hee!
Yes! I’ll Make An Awesome Rocket That Makes Its Own Epic Fart Noise!
I Bet It’s Walter! It Has To Be Him! He’s Always Trying To Wreck Everyone’s Fun! There’s Only One Way To Stop Him – Fight Fart With Fart!
JOE KING’S
12
TOP 10 JOKES!
What? How Will That Help?
Do undertakers enjoy their job? Of corpse they do!
That’s Just Making Things Worse, Dennis!
Tick it when you’ve told it!
A E K A M
G N I ARP
P
! T e K RoC to m Fa rt er S h ow th e P h a n y m a k ing h ow it’s d o n e b t! p a rp ing ro c k e this aweso m e
You’ll need: 2 x two litre diet cola bottles
Mentos mints A paperclip Scissors A cork
2
1
Empty one bottle and ask an adult to cut it in half to ma ke the launcher for the rocket.
3
bottle. Unscrew the lid on the other mints Push the cork on it instead. The . Make will now be inside of the bottle a! sure they don’t touch the col
Use a paper clip to push holes through five Mentos mints, then squash them with your thumb until they’re half their original size. Straighten out the paperclip leaving the smallest loop bent, as shown. Push the mints up the paperclip and top it off with a cork to hold them tightly in place...
4
Fit the launcher on top of the bottle, flip the whole thing over, and get out of the way! Then it’s 3, 2, 1… parp off!
13
It’s the class every teacher dreads... It’s Half-Term But All The Teachers Are In School Because They Know It’s The Last Place Any Kids Will Be!
What’s The Matter?
You’re Our Health And Safety Officer. Everything Is Up To Code, Isn’t It?
Well, You Can Show Him Around Then!
Nobody Panic!
Meanwhile… Aarghh! I Just Got A Message From Dennis – We’ve To Lay Off The Pranks All Day! Grr!
The Mayor’s Coming In To Inspect The School!
What? He’s Not In Charge Of The Menace Squad! No-One Is!
Chill Out! All We Have To Do Is Find Somewhere Well Away From The Town Hall.
Well, Most Of The Fire Alarm Things Are Just Light Switches Painted Red.
Good! Because That Dennis Isn’t The Boss Of Me! No-One Is! We Know, Spotty.
Good. Now Tell Me What To Do And Where To Do It, Danny!
The School? At Half-Term?
I Think I’m Going To Be Sick!
Don’t Worry, We Won’t Learn Anything! Meanwhile…
Inside… This Is The Founder Of Bash Street School, Vincent Van Plug.
14
That’s Hideous, But The Regulations Don’t Say Anything About Extreme Ugliness!
Come On! More Polish!
How Do You Turn This Thing Up To Full Power? He’s Coming!
Here’s The Main Corrid00000argh!
Tut-Tut! That Floor Is Clearly Over-Polished!
Lucky I Used To Be A Champion Figure Skater!
Warghh!
Hmm… Looks Like The Mayor Is Inspecting The School!
The Old Book Balanced On The Door Trick… Oof!
Crumbs! Maybe We Shouldn’t Have Set All Those Other Traps For Teacher! …And This Is The Library.
Great Food Switcheroo, Toots!
In The Kitchen… this tin of eyeballs is out of date!
also, they’re eyeballs!
It Isn’t Usually Flooded!
Behind You!
Shh! They’re Headed For The Sports Hall!
Aarghh! Shark!
You Know What? I’m Going To Give You A Pass!
If The Mayor Finds Out It Was The Kids Who Set Those Traps, The Rollercoaster Will Be Toast!
Maybe That’s A Little Overboard! – The Ed.
JOE KING’S
TOP 10 JOKES!
The School Is Actually Slightly Safer Than Last Year!
What do ghosts eat for breakfast? Dreaded wheat!
Tick it when you’ve told it!
15
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16
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Uh-oh! Here comes trouble!
The phantom farter is still on the loose and the mayor hasn’t decided yet. I have to make sure he doesn’t hear any fart noises!
no! The phantom farter is here already!
Lower me down slowly, gnasher!
one parp and we can kiss the rollercoaster goodbye!
Will do! Hmmm, I can’t decide…
Fish fingers or pizza for tea?
Ooh! Spelt with a “ph”? That’s a posh one!
Hang on! Walter’s here too… …That means he can’t be the phantom farter!
I sense a disturbance in the pants! Well, at least it’s nice and quiet!
The phantom’s gone! Pull me up, gnasher!
This farter business has gone far enough!
I need help – from someone… tricky!
As if a thousand butts cried out!
Who? Someone tricky? The dodger? The minx? Er, don’t tell me…
17
Beanotown’s TOP trickster! Dennis Has Called Tricky Dicky For Help To Catch The Phantom Farter… I Don’t Know!
Well, Where Is The Phantom Now?
Can You Repeat That In English, Please?
If I Couldn’t Get To The Mayor, I Would Get To Someone Who Would Tell Him About It!
Hmm… If It Was Me And I Couldn’t Acquire My Primary Target, I’d Switch To A Secondary Objective.
FARP!
So, Later… Hee-Hee!
Oh No! The Phantom Is Targetting Sergeant Slipper! He’s Sure To Tell The Mayor About What’s About To Happen! Nice Try, Phantom! But That’s Not Sergeant Slipper, It’s A Cardboard Cut-Out! gotcha!
Earlier…
Have You Got A Life-Sized Cardboard Cut-Out Of Sergeant Slipper?
Bah!
Where Would Dicky Get A Life-Sized Cardboard Cut-Out Of Sergeant Slipper?
Never Mind That, The Phantom Is Getting Away! Time to unleash the paint bomb!
We Have Four!
But, just As Dicky Launches The paint Bomb, The Mayor Appears… Ugh! What’s That?
That’s Odd – He Doesn’t Look That Bothered!
Mwah-Ha-Ha!
When I Find Out Who’s Responsible For This, They’ll Be Sorry!
he set me up! I Need A Hero! I’m Holding Out For A Hero. He’s Gotta Be Strong, And He’s Gotta Be Fast…
Hmm… A Hero, Eh? Do We Have One Of Those In Beanotown?
Yikes! The Mayor Won’t Be Happy About That!
JOE KING’S
TOP 10 JOKES!
18
What’s the smelliest city in America? Phew York!
Tick it when you’ve told it!
the name’s tricky! tricky dicky! Licensed to prank!
YOU’LL NEED:
HALLOWEEN
MASK
You r missio n, Me nac e Squ ad, is to pu ll off all these ep ic pra nks! On you r ma rks… get set… pra nk!
SIN RAI
2
1 OO L P S
Drop a raisi n into your mum’s cup of tea. W hen sh e gets to th e botto m, sh e’ ll se e it and thin k it’s a dead bug!
F!
set this You n e ed to a few r g ag up ove r mum u o y k d a ys. Tric you g in v lie into b e in e th e ca n hear mic ur d ad o y house. Get ! Now o to to join in ing furr y hid e so m eth vet o n u u nd er th e d e of sid ’s m u m r u o y n sh e he W th e b ed. r fe et climbs in, he sh e’ll a nd will touch it ouse! m a ’s it k in th
PRANKS
M EA N Pr IZ ES!
3
! aaaaaGh
GLUB!
Cha llenge your friends to a gam e of hide and seek and offer to be the one who hides. Put on a scar y mas k and jum p out when they walk by look ing for you! Hide and shri ek!
Send us a video or pic of your pranks and you could win a prize! Email them to editor@beano.com
B o o b y trap by th e shower e th g in rn tu nozz le so it or! faces th e d o e n o e m so W hen th e n o es ch it sw ak shower it’ll so ! m e th
4
ek! shri
Or POST TO:
Tricky Dicky’s School of Pranks, The Beano, DC Thomson, 80 Kingsway East, Dundee DD4 8SL
It’s Beanotown’s most famous fruit-powered superhero...
Bananaman is on the lookout for the phantom farter…
It’s my job to make sure he can look suspicious and lurk in the shadows in safety!
gg! g g n n i i r Brrrr
close by...
Bloomers! The van won’t start!
But we just robbed the bank!
Beanotown bank’s burglar alarm!
A-ha! A suspicious figure lurking in the shadows!
no, it isn’t! Is there a problem, gentlemen?
Knickers! It’s bananaman! And our getaway vehicle is going nowhere fast!
Sniffle! Where are you taking us, bananaman?
Anywhere you like, general – I couldn’t leave you stranded there, could I? But bananaman never does anything right!
What are you doing? This is the prison!
Bad guys? Er… yeah! I totally meant to do that! Ahem!
20
Are you sure it’s not a lovely tropical island?
Anyway, I must be going…
You great twit! You just put a hole in the prison wall!
The fool hasn’t realised we robbed the bank, gloom! Where would you like him to take us?
A lovely tropical island, general!
So that jaggy stuff I thought was tropical seaweed is actually… barbed wire? Wow! Thanks for bringing the bad guys in, bananaman.
…Crime doesn’t stop for a toilet break!
BEANOTOWN’S GOT
Three new stories are going head to head to win a place in The Beano every week! You decide! Who goes and who stays? Go to www.beano.com and cast your vote!
CHEWIE SUAREZ The zombie footballer! Put your boot in, chewie!
I can do betterrr than thaaaat!
I can use whole leeeegggg!
Urrghh! Durr!
DANGEROUS DAN Beanotown’s top super-spy! I’ve forgotten my pen. Do you have one, dan?
Course I do, mum.
Hang on. One of these pens uses…
…Stun gas. Whoops!
GRANNY THEFT AUTO Grans behaving badly! Cor! Loverly jam!
Pay attention to where you’re going, grans!
Going, going, scone!
Look out!
I say!
T! U L P S
Oops! Looks like a traffic jam!
Never mind the traffic! We’re in a jam! Here comes slipper!
Grrr! You menaces! C’mere!
He’s always got a trick up his sleeve! It’s...
What’s This? A Message To The Menace Squad?
Running Around To Find Someone Sounds Like A Lot Of Work.
Menace Squad, Eh? Dodge Squad Sounds Better!
Blah Blah – Deciding – Blah – Doesn’t Like Fart Noises – Blah Blah… ...Blah – Phantom Farter – Blah!
So…
That Mayor Of Ours Has Gone For A Walk in The Park.
And The Farter Will Turn Up To Get The Mayor Simples!
Go On! Get Out Of it!
All I Need is The Town’s Biggest Mouth And The Town’s Biggest Tell-Tale! Now Walter Will Tell Everyone Who Didn’t Hear Minnie!
Why Do I Need To Know The Mayo is in The Park?r
In The Park, Eh?
There’s A Reason I Said The Park. There’s A Reason For Everything I Do…
Look, Here He Comes Now!
There You Go. Eek!
...The Park Keeper!
Who’s Making Those Horrible Farting Noises in My Beautiful Park?!
Where There’s A Dodge, There’s A Way!
At Least it Washed The Paint Off…
JOE KING’S
22
TOP 10 JOKES!
Er… You Were Supposed To Catch The Phantom, Roger! And Now You’ve Soaked The Mayor – He Won’t Like That!
Why did the lizard go on a diet? It weighed too much for its scales!
Tick it when you’ve told it!
CUT OUT AND COLLECT!
?
YOUR
Mum keeps nagging us to tidy our rooms, but we HATE cleaning up! Please help us! From Chloe and Connie, Bristol.
!
DODGE
Convince mum there’s a HUMUNGOUS spider living in your room by covering it in giant spiderwebs!
PROBLEM
SOLUTION
YOU’LL
No.1
NEED
TA PE
1
WH TE WHI WOOL
2
Measure out four large e pieces of wool. Stretch tch the first piece across your room using pins to hold it at each end. Do the same with another piece of wool to make a cross shape.
SCISSOR S
PINS
Pi the last two Pin pieces diagonally pi across the cross ac in two different places to make pl an X-shape.
Eeeeeeeeek!
out Get a cut- ur yo Das h er for e web h t web - fro m no.co m! a e at w w w.b
5
RESULT!
Now all you have to do is sit back and wait for your mum to come in! Tidying will be the last thing on Mum’s mind now she knows a giant scary spider is on the loose!
?
AS K ROGE R FO R H EL P!
Need a dodge? Email Roger at roger@beano.com or write to him at: Roger’s Dodge Clinic, The Beano, DC Thomson, 80 Kingsway East, Dundee, DD4 8SL
3 Now you need to make the rings that go around the web. You’ll need a long piece of wool for each one. Tie them where you want to start then loop around the web until you’ve made a complete circle. Tie it off then cut off any extra wool.
4
Repeat step 3 until you’ve finished the web. It should look like this.
our jokes are missing!
Y L ONL YOU’LHEM BACK T GET YOU CAN E! IF MART M OUTS
1
What do you call a dog in your toilet?
2
What game is smelliest to play?
3
What do you call an Arctic cow?
4
What country makes you shiver?
5
What’s the best thing to put in a pie?
6
What does a snowman eat for breakfast?
7
What do you call two banana skins?
Walter’s such a party pooper that he’s hidden the punchlines to these gags in this wordsearch. Work out the punc hlines, then find them in the grid to help return the laughs to Bean otown!
A p _ _ d _ _!
S _ _ _ f _ _ _ _ s!
A pair of s _ _ _ _ _ _ _!
8
What game do elephants play in a Mini?
9
What washes up on very small beaches?
10
What school subject is a witch good at?
S___sh!
M_ _ _ _ w_ v _ _ !
S _ _ _ _ _ _ _!
TOP SECRET
Blipp to unleash the Menace Maze Puzzle!
MISSIO N! 1
Challenge a grown-up to prove how smart they are by escaping in under 10 seconds!
2
The joke is, that the maze is impossible!
3
Watch them freak when a scary surprise jumps out!
ANSWERS
Your t_ _ _ _!
6)Snowflakes! 7)Slippers! 8)Squash! 9)Microwaves! 9)Microwav rowaves rowav waves! 10)Spelling!
C h _ _ _!
s n o W f l a k e s f
1)Poodle! 2)Ping pong! 3)Eskimoo! 4)Chile! 5)Teeth! 5)T 5)Tee th!
An E _ _ _ m o o!
e l d o o p m o o e l i i t s d c n o d t u n g a h d a r p t s k l c o l i h c a n l i n g s g a r b i l c r e p p i l d h o z n d
B j s f l e l d o o p s s e s k i m o o e l i n e l o q u i t s d c n o v l k g u o d t u n g w a y h u k a h d a r p f w f i v d t s k l c o l o i a t e l i h c a n a r s p e l l i n g s g k c h t y r a r b i l c e i o b c s r e p p i l s m b l c a d h o z n d f
P _ _ g p _ _ g!
B j s f l s e s k i e l o q u v l k g u a y h u k w f i v d o i a t e r s p e l c h t y r i o b c s m b l c a
Everybody’s got them!
Mr Mayor, The Prime Minister Is On The Phone. He’d Like To Speak To You.
There’s A Lot Going On In The Mayor’s Head Today…
Inside The Mayor’s Head…
That’s It! No-One soaks Me And Gets Away With It!
Tee-Hee-Hee!
Tell Him I Can’t Speak To Him Now. I’m Very Busy.
you can’t do that!
Watch Me! Those Kids Need Taught A Lesson!
No More Rollercoaster!
Very Well. If That’s How You Want It… Rollercoasters Are Awesome! I Need To Get Down To The Memory Store!
Wait A Minute! Where Did Radar Go? I’m Fighting All By Myself Here!
In The Memory Store, Radar Is Destroying The Mayor’s Memories Of The Bad Things That Happened Earlier Today!
And Yes, Memories Are Stored In Jars. What Else Would You Keep Them In?
JOE KING’S
TOP 10 JOKES!
Radar! What Memories Have You Destroyed?
Er… I Can‘T Remember!
Turns Out The Mayor’s Memories Are His Numskulls’ Memories Too!
What’s a mermaid? A deep-she fish!
Aarghh! I’d Made Up My Mind About That Rollercoaster, But I Can’t Remember What I Decided To Do!
Crumbs! No-One Knows What The Mayor Will Do… Not Even The Mayor! Find Out What He Decides On Page 29!
Tick it when you’ve told it!
25
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R E T S A O C R E L L O R
asTer! o C r e l e l ng roa BeTTer onhe i y f i r T r n osT Te Can desigeVen denniswin m , T s e u isTi Think yo rCoasTer ide, you’ll arT! w T , T s asTe n! BuT we up a rolle ared To ror Crazy C f e h T eT is s eVer see an dream is Too sC some raz m o C miT d ha if you C menaCe This awe The Vo The worl
...... ................ .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. d: ............ ................ iT’s Calle g: ........................ ............. Tin ........ sCare ra go? ........ ................ T i s e o d ...... how fasT .. ................ .. ? T i s i . .............. how high ary? .................... sC why is iT
WIN A
sCrea m wannaif you fasTergo !
WARNIN G! N
OT FOR SOFTIES !
the craziest rollercoaster will win a totally aWesome crazy cart from razor! it’s the ultimate drifting machine! drive, spin, or drift like a pro with its two tw awesome driving modes, hitting speeds of up to 12 mph! send your drawing in by november 15th, 2014 to be in with a chance of winning! Name:.................................................................................................................
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Winners Will be chosen after the closing date of november 15th, 2014. Prize may vary from that shoWn. the editor’s decision is final and no corresPondence Will be entered into.
POST yOuR E NTRy TO:
vomit Com et Com p, th e beA n o, dC tho mSon, 80 KingSw Ay eASt, dUnde e d d4 8Sl.
Uh-oh! Here comes trouble!
Two things – one, can the girl in Okay, the blue and black everyone! jersey give me my hat Simmer back, please? down!
The vomit comet rollercoaster… ...Will be…
He’s getting away!
.....
He won’t! I’ve attached a net to my fart rocket. It should sail over his head and drop the net on him!
He’s dragging this out a bit, isn’t he?
And two, I have now made my decision about the new rollercoaster!
Oh no! It’s the phantom farter, launching one last fart noise to get the rollercoaster banned! It’s not the x factor results show, mate!
Crumbs! I hit the mayor!
Oof!
Ow!
Oh yeah! I forgot the net, didn’t I?
Oops!
Now to find out who the phantom farter really is!
It’s walter!
It can’t be walter – I saw him and the phantom at the town hall, remember?
29
Yes, but I spotted an important clue when I was in the life-size cardboard cut-out shop…
It doesn’t matter anyway! That last fart noise has made sure that the mayor will ban the rollercoaster! forever! Ha-ha-ha!
he said he needed a cut-out of himself so he could trick dennis into thinking he’s not the phantom farter.
I sold another cut-out earlier to that walter boy.
No, thanks to dennis’s dad! Why is What’s he saying? everyone so quiet?
so it was a cut-out you saw!
When you say you spotted a clue, it was more like a dude just told you something! Not exactly sherlock, are you?
This is great material for my next book! Do you want a signed copy, dennis?
No, I’m the star of the book – I should sign it for you!
Am i in it?
Gosh! Is walter right? Is the vomit comet history? Er… okay then. “Whatev’s, dennis!”
It’s pretty high, isn’t it?
30
Steven butler, beanotown’s resident writer!
Who cares? Let’s keep the rollercoaster! Thank you so much!
And soon…
That’ll be five pounds, please!
I may have failed to get the rollercoaster banned, but I can still get rid of these pesky menaces! Dennis isn’t the only person who can make a rocket out of a bottle! Ha-ha!
Come on, let’s rock this rollercoaster!
This is gonna be so awesome!
Here we go, people! Hold onto your lunches!
Waaaarghhh!
Gasp! We went so Fast we’ve taken off! We’re heading into outer space!
GULP!
HA-HA-HA! NOW THAT THOSE MENACES are out of the way, I can shut this ride down and turn beanotown soft!
have the menace squad left beanotown for good? find out next time!
JOE KING’S
TOP 10 JOKES!
What’s the difference between teachers and sweets? People like sweets!
Tick it when you’ve told it!
31
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