Welcome
Wow 2024! Where did you go?
I can’t believe I’m sitting here writing this at the end of September and hearing “Lay–by for Christmas” ads on the radio – what the? I don’t know about anyone else but I am definitely not ready for Christmas or the celebrations that mark the end of another year, there is still so much to do, to achieve in 2024!
To think this time last year, I was nursing a tiny two and a half month old cherub and now I am running around after our little Possum who is 14 months old and about to take on the world with her first steps.
One thing I am looking forward to is the warmer weather and longer days – bring on daylight savings! There’s something so enticing about spring/ summer... weekend BBQs with friends, eating dinner outside in your shorts and weekday swims before school drop offs, it’s pure magic!
So while I am pulling the handbrake on the last few months of the year, I will be making the most of the good weather and sunshine.
Love where you live Coasties! Swim between the flags and enjoy =) 4 How to make your outfit interesting 6 A world–class qualification – The International Baccalaureate
8 How to grow your super as a stay–at–home parent
9 Are you looking for the best of the best when it comes to sunglasses?
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Cover image
Crystal Gail Photography crystalgailphotography.com.au Facebook – crystalgailphotographer Instagram – @crystalgail_photography Imagery ingimage.com and freepik.com
Contributors
Sam Woods, Jordi Woods, Simon Tarrant, Sam Savva, Carin Clegg, Alex Wilson, Georgia Spencer, Shell Barker and Leanne Brooke
10 Stay Connected: Simple solutions for common tech troubles
12 Health care, Your way
14 Family food for all: The benefits of coming together at mealtimes
16 Skills to improve your mental health today!
18 Unwrapping Christmas
Co–Parenting: A guide for separated parents
20 Why you shouldn’t wear a sports bra everyday 22 Surviving School Avoidance
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– Families are not necessarily those of the
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How to make your outfit interesting
BY SAM & JORDI WOODS
Do you often look at your day–to–day outfit and feel that it’s a bit plain, overly common and doesn’t release excitement in you?
Even the most simplistic of outfits can have interest added to unleash that “wow” factor, and it doesn’t have to cost a lot (if anything) or require an entire new wardrobe. How? You may ask…With a bit of creativity, a touch of the new season accessory knowledge and a dash of bravery to try something new you can make your outfit interesting in a heartbeat!
INTERESTING OUTFIT ADDITIVES
Play with textures. Instead of a plain tee or singlet add in a crochet top or lace tank. Swap out a denim skirt for tulle or one with fringing detail.
Add in flowers! This spring/summer 3D florals are a huge fashion trend. So add them to the strap of a tank top, wear them as a necklace, or pin one in your hair.
Tie a scarf around your ponytail or if you are clever enough, braid the scarf into a plait.
Wear one bold hue head to toe! Just ensure it is the perfect colour for you. If a solid colour head to toe is too much, use hues of the colour.
Layer with a statement belt. Chain belts, waist belts, hipster belts… you name it, belts are back!
Mix your prints. Ensure your prints are of similar tones/ hues. TIP: stick to the three colour rule; never wear more than three colours at one time. Note; your print is classified as one colour!
Over accessorise. Rings, necklaces, cuffs, earrings, you name it – wear it in multitudes and layer up!
Opt for a coloured nail polish. Even try several different shades if that is your style.
Top your look off with a cap. Caps are great for bad hair days, sun protection and to add an edgy interest to your outfit.
Featured are some style inspiration shots to help you visualise ways you can add interest to your outfit. So be brave and have the confidence to try something new – your future self will thank you for it!
Vibrantly yours, Sam & Jordi Woods xx
Understanding styling and fashion is one thing. Having a super natural flair for making everyday people look incredible is another. Once you’ve met Sam and Jordi Woods, it’s hard not to catch their infectious passion for dressing to match your own lifestyle, personality and charisma. Through their consultancy ‘Vibrant Concepts’, Sam and Jordi have transformed the lives of thousands. Let Sam and Jordi show you how to look and feel fabulous everyday at their Style Studio in Erina – learn the art of illusion dressing, colour matching, styling, translating fashion trends and savvy shopping with their unique VC Signature Styling Systems and services that are truly personal and really work! To contact Vibrant Concepts phone 0425 221 676
A WORLD–CLASS QUALIFICATION – THE INTERNATIONAL BACCALAUREATE
At Central Coast Steiner School, we are committed to nurturing the growth of young people so that they grow into caring, capable and creative adults. Within a supportive community, we provide rich opportunities that enable each student to succeed far beyond the years at school.
The Central Coast Steiner School is proud to announce that it will be offering the highly regarded International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IB Diploma) in 2025 as our Years 11 and 12 program, becoming the only school on the Central Coast to provide this world–class educational opportunity. The IB Diploma is an internationally recognised curriculum that prepares students for university and beyond, distinguishing them in their academic and personal development.
WHAT SETS THE IB DIPLOMA APART FROM THE HSC?
The IB Diploma stands out due to its global focus and depth of learning. The program is structured to develop well–rounded, independent learners who are ready for the challenges of higher education and the wider world. It is known for its broad curriculum, which covers six unique subject groups: language and literature, foreign languages, social sciences, sciences, mathematics, and the arts. One of the most distinct aspects of the IB Diploma is its core components: Theory of Knowledge (TOK), the Extended Essay, and Creativity, Activity, Service (CAS). These are designed to nurture inquiry, research skills, creativity, and community engagement, which are integral to the program and set it apart from the HSC’s more content–driven approach.
“I want to do the IB Diploma because it offers a global perspective and challenges me to think critically about the world. I’m especially excited about studying Psychology and Theory of Knowledge, which I can’t do in the HSC. Plus, it prepares me well for university, and I feel like I’ll be more ready for whatever comes next.” – Current Year 10 Student
THE IB LEARNER PROFILE: PREPARING FOR THE FUTURE
At the heart of the IB Diploma is the IB Learner Profile, which emphasises developing students into well–rounded individuals. The profile identifies key attributes such as being inquirers, knowledgeable, communicators, principled, balanced and reflective. These qualities are intentionally developed throughout the two–year program, ensuring that students emerge not only academically prepared but also as thoughtful, compassionate, and engaged global citizens.
UNIVERSITY READINESS AND ATAR CONVERSION
Universities across Australia and the world value IB Diploma graduates for their academic depth and breadth. The
IB Diploma’s overall score is converted into an ATAR–equivalent Combined Rank. Universities often prefer IB students due to the program’s holistic approach, which cultivates skills beyond the classroom and ensures graduates are ready for both university life and professional success.
The IB Diploma is an internationally recognised curriculum that prepares students for university and beyond, distinguishing them in their academic and personal development
A recent study conducted by the Australian Council for Educational Research (ACER) by Hillman, Edwards and Clarke, (2024) found that new research shows: “Australian students who study the International
Baccalaureate Diploma have higher university entry rates and course completion than their peers, regardless of their socio–economic background…”
In offering the IB Diploma, the Central Coast Steiner School continues its commitment to providing an education that empowers students to thrive in a complex, interconnected world. The IB Diploma aligns perfectly with the Steiner philosophy of
nurturing creative, critical, and independent thinkers, and we are excited to see how our students will flourish in this dynamic program.
Australian students who study the International Baccalaureate Diploma have higher university entry rates and course completion than their peers, regardless of their socio–economic background
We are currently offering scholarships to Year 11s in 2025. For further information visit the Central Coast Steiner School website.
How to grow your super as a stay–at–home parent
BY SIMON TARRANT – PRIVATE CLIENT ADVISER AT MORGANS FINANCIAL LIMITED
As a stay–at–home parent, you might feel that contributing to your superannuation is a challenge, especially with the demands of raising a young family. However, growing your super is essential for securing a comfortable retirement. Here are some practical strategies to help you build your superannuation, even if you’re not currently in paid employment.
1. Government co–contributions
The Australian Government offers a co–contribution scheme to help low and middle–income earners boost their super. If your total income is less than $60,400 and you make after–tax contributions to your super, the government may match your contributions up to a maximum of $500. For every dollar you contribute, the government may add 50 cents. This scheme is a great way to increase your super with minimal financial strain.
2. Spouse contributions
If your spouse works, they can make contributions to your super fund. This not only helps grow your retirement savings but also offers tax benefits. If your income is less than $40,000, your spouse can claim a tax offset of up to $540 for contributions made to your super. This strategy effectively benefits both partners by growing your super while reducing taxable income for your spouse.
3. Splitting super contributions
Superannuation splitting allows your working spouse to transfer up to 85% of their super contributions (both concessional and non–concessional) to
your super fund. This method helps balance superannuation savings between both partners, ensuring that you have a substantial amount saved for retirement, even if you’re not actively contributing.
4. Low income superannuation tax offset (LISTO)
If you earn less than $37,000 per year, you may be eligible for the Low Income Superannuation Tax Offset (LISTO). This government initiative refunds the tax paid on your super contributions, up to a maximum of $500. LISTO ensures that low–income earners do not miss out on the benefits of superannuation due to tax deductions.
5. Salary sacrifice
If you engage in part–time or casual work, consider salary sacrificing. This involves directing a portion of your pre–tax income into your super fund. Salary sacrificing not only boosts your super savings but can also reduce your taxable income, providing immediate tax benefits. Even small, regular contributions can significantly impact your super balance over time.
6. Find lost super
Many Australians have lost or unclaimed super due to changing jobs, moving homes, or changing names. Use the Australian Taxation Office’s (ATO) online services to locate any lost super and consolidate it into your current super fund. This not only maximises your retirement savings but also reduces fees associated with multiple super accounts.
7. Review and adjust your budget
Managing a family budget on a single income can be challenging, but setting aside even a small amount for super contributions can make a big difference over the long term. Review your expenses and identify areas where you can cut back to free up funds for super contributions. Remember, the power of compound interest means that the sooner you start, the more your savings will grow.
8. Stay informed and seek advice
Superannuation laws and benefits can change, so it’s crucial to stay informed about the latest developments. Consider speaking to a financial adviser who can provide personalised advice based on your circumstances. A professional can help you navigate the various options available and develop a strategy that ensures you’re making the most of your superannuation.
Growing your super as a stay–at–home parent may seem daunting, but with the right strategies and a proactive approach, you can build a substantial nest egg for your retirement. By taking advantage of government schemes, spouse contributions, and careful financial planning, you can secure your financial future and enjoy peace of mind.
If you would like to discuss your family’s financial strategy, please contact Simon at simon.tarrant@morgans.com.au or via (02) 4325 0884.
Simon Tarrant (AR: 001270872) is a Private Client Adviser at Morgans Financial Limited (AFSL 235410 /ABN 49 010 669 726). Simon is passionate about creating quality financial strategies that are tailored and customised to a clients’ lifestyle, financial goals and risk profile. Disclaimer: While every care has been taken, Morgans Financial Limited makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of the contents. The information is of a general nature only and has been prepared without consideration of your individual objectives, financial situation or needs. Before making any decisions, you should consider the appropriateness for your personal investment objectives, financial situation or individual needs. We recommend you see a financial adviser, registered tax agent or legal adviser before making any decisions based on this information.
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THE BEST OF THE BEST WHEN IT COMES TO SUNGLASSES?
BY SAM SAVVA FRAME STYLIST AT ADRENALINE OPTOMETRY
Summer is here, which means reaching for our sunnies and heading outdoors. Oakley sunglasses are renowned for having superior optical quality and durability. Here, Sam Savva, Frame Stylist at Adrenaline Optometry, breaks down the features of these best–selling shades.
Oakley “Prizm” lenses are crafted to enhance colour and contrast, allowing wearers to see more clearly and feel more confident in their sunglasses. These lenses optimize good light to boost contrast and minimize eye fatigue. Prizm lenses are particularly effective for activities like cycling, hiking, golfing, skiing, baseball, soccer, and football, among others. It’s important to note that standard sunglasses lenses can hinder visibility during sports, while Oakley Prizm lenses filter out disruptive light, enhancing specific colour wavelengths for better detail.
Another feature of Oakley lenses is the Iridium mirrored finish with a reflective optical coating. These lenses come with a unique tint and a molecular anti–glare coating that helps balance light reflection, transmission, and absorption. You can select from a variety of tints, including black, ice, jade, chrome, and fire. Chrome and fire tints are perfect for everyday use and versatile enough for any occasion, while the other tints are more suited for sports.
For mountain biking, hiking, and running, Oakley Ruby Iridium lenses are a fantastic choice, as they effectively reduce glare encountered during these pursuits. Harsh sunlight can make visibility challenging, but Ruby Iridium lenses help diminish glare and balance contrasting colours.
Oakley Black Iridium lenses are versatile high–contrast options ideal
for daily wear, relaxing at the beach, enjoying vacations, or driving. These stylish lenses excel at blocking visible light thanks to their blackout design.
Oakley Polarised lenses feature a special coating designed to filter light and minimize glare, safeguarding your eyes from prolonged UV exposure and alleviating eye fatigue. When horizontal sunlight strikes polarised sunglasses, they reflect excess light, resulting in less glare.
Think of polarisation as akin to installing blinds on your windows, effectively limiting the sunlight that enters your space. If you enjoy spending time outdoors or engaging in water sports, Oakley polarised sunglasses are an ideal match for your active lifestyle.
At Adrenaline Optometry we offer expert advice on choosing your lenses. Below are our 4 top sellers from the Oakley range:
Prizm Deep Water Polarised. Crafted to eliminate glare and filter the overwhelming blues of open water, allowing you to clearly see what lies beneath the surface.
Prizm Road. Engineered to reveal subtle variations in road texture and quickly identify potential hazards such as rocks, potholes and oil spills.
Prizm Dark Golf. Tailored to assist in navigating the transition between greenery and accurately judging distances when looking far ahead, perfect for bright, sunny days.
Prizm Black. Created to transform dull colours into vibrant visuals, emphasizing the most striking elements of your surroundings. Also
available in a polarised.
If you would like to know more about Oakley lenses, please visit us in store. We offer a wide range of Oakley Prizm and Polarised lenses to suit any lifestyle, available as prescription or standard. We offer other services including, children and adult digital eye exams, Service NSW driving eye exams, emergency consults, contact lenses and more. See your passion with Adrenaline Optometry.
Adrenaline Optometry
1/15 Church St Terrigal NSW Phone (02) 4339 0900 adrenalineoptometry.com.au
Sam Savva is the Practice Manager and Frame Stylist at Adrenaline Optometry. He is trained in selecting eyewear that highlights your best features, while providing an ideal optical fit. You don’t have to settle for mainstream, as he will help you choose something truly unique that suits your face shape and skin tone.
SIMPLE SOLUTIONS FOR COMMON TECH TROUBLES StayConnected:
Technology plays a big role in keeping us connected with family, staying up to date with the world, and making life easier. But let’s face it, dealing with gadgets can be frustrating. If you’ve ever felt like you’re battling your smartphone or wondering why your internet is slow, you’re not alone. Luckily, the team at Systems Up can assist with technology battles and reduce the hassle, making your life simpler. Here’s how.
A common issue is a slow or unreliable internet connection. Maybe your video calls with family keep freezing, or websites are taking ages to load. It can make anyone want to give up. The good news? It’s often a quick fix – like adjusting your Wi–Fi settings or moving your router. But if that sounds too much, no worries! Professional IT help is just a phone call away. Our friendly technicians can come to your home, check your setup, and get your internet running smoothly so you can stay connected.
Then there’s the smartphone. These handy devices can do a lot, but they can also be confusing. Whether it’s figuring
out how to send a text, download an app, or navigate constant updates, it’s easy to feel lost. Fortunately, an IT expert can walk you through it, step by step, making sure you’re comfortable using your phone for what matters – like keeping in touch with family or reading the news.
Setting up new devices like a computer, smart TV, or even a speaker like Alexa can also feel tricky. Maybe you’re trying to connect your TV to the internet for streaming, or you’ve
Kris Cranfield – CEO, Systems Up
bought a smart speaker and aren’t sure how to use it. That’s where expert help can make a real difference. Systems Up technicians can come to your home, set everything up, and explain how it works—without any tech jargon – so you can start enjoying your new devices straight away.
The best part? You don’t have to go anywhere for help. Right here on the Central Coast, Systems Up has friendly
technicians ready to visit your home and troubleshoot any tech issues you’re facing. No need to wait in store queues or deal with frustrating support lines. These experts offer simple, easy–to–understand solutions, so you can get back to enjoying your day.
Technology doesn’t have to be intimidating. With the right support, it
can open up a world of possibilities –from staying in touch with loved ones to enjoying your TV shows or asking your smart speaker to play songs. If you’re feeling stuck, remember –help is just a phone call away.
For more information, visit
today!
HEALTH CARE,YourWay
In recent years, local emergency physicians have been cognisant of a fundamental gap in health care occurring on the Central Coast and have teamed together to establish EUC Specialist Emergency and Urgent Care in Tuggerah.
From accidents to illness, there are times when someone in the family may need urgent medical attention and can’t wait. A brand–new emergency care practice, EUC Specialist and Emergency Care, is a new option that is now available on the Coast for urgent medical situations.
We all know there is a high demand for healthcare on the Coast and as a result, many of the available services often find themselves overwhelmed with limited availability.
The EUC team, who live and work on the Coast, realised the need for a service that could bridge the gap between GPs and the hospital emergency department. “We want to provide people with an alternative to going to hospital – lots of emergency care can be provided in the community in a timely way when there is an appropriate facility like this with emergency physicians leading an experienced multidisciplinary team,” said Dr Ingram, Medical Director and Specialist Emergency Physician.
The doctors at EUC Specialist Emergency and Urgent Care have a clear mission, to provide rapid, specialist health care to the community, when it is needed most. At EUC, there’s no need to book an appointment, it’s a walk–in service that you can access seven days a week, 365 days of the year, with the aim to provide a novel, streamlined way of accessing emergency care on the Central Coast.
EUC is not meant as a replacement
The EUC team, who live and work on the Coast, realised the need for a service that could bridge the gap between GPs and the hospital emergency department
OPEN TO WALK–IN PATIENTS
MONDAY TO SUNDAY 10AM – 8PM NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY
for hospital emergency rooms or GP services – and always call triple zero or go to the hospital emergency room in a life–threatening emergency – however, in a situation where immediate attention for a non–life–threatening ailment is required, EUC will fill that gap and provide prompt, accurate, specialist health care.
Accidents can be part and parcel for active families, especially for young ones with no fear of slipping off playground equipment or falling out of trees. The team at EUC are fully qualified and experienced to assess and treat fractures – including paediatric fractures – from initial emergency care, x–rays and applying slings and casts, to follow–up care and cast removal.
Of course, accidents can happen to adults too. It was 5pm on a Sunday when a young family arrived at the
practice. They were on the Coast for the weekend and just about to head back to the city when the mum hurt her ankle. She wasn’t sure if it was broken and needed it seen to immediately. At EUC she had an x–ray, was given pain relief and strapping, and was able to get on the road home in comfort.
As well as accidents, ailments can come on suddenly and often happen at the worst possible times. The EUC recently saw a child on their birthday when they had been struck with a severe earache. On arriving at the practice, the child was swiftly given pain relief and antibiotics (as well as a birthday present from the team!) and they left smiling, still able to make it to their celebration dinner.
SERVICES
EUC offers a broad range of services and treatments, including:
Allergic reactions
Complex lacerations
Dehydration, vomiting, and diarrhoea
Ear, nose, and throat problems
Early pregnancy bleeding Fever
Asthma / breathing problems
Sporting injuries
Broken bones
Dislocations
Workplace injuries
The above scenarios are common, but the scope of treatments at the EUC is far broader. Along with the team of emergency doctors, the practice includes an onsite physiotherapist, nurses, radiographers, and pathology collection.
FEES
A Facility (Gap) fee of $284 applies at EUC which includes all on–site x–rays, blood and pathology collection, as well as prioritised access to CT, ultrasound, and MRI.
It also includes any procedures that may need to be carried out on site as well as the peace of mind of being seen by a specialist without the wait!
FAMILY FOODforall
THE BENEFITS OF COMING TOGETHER AT MEALTIMES
BY CARIN CLEGG, ACCREDITED PRACTISING DIETITIAN
Today, many families are busy juggling flexible work schedules, after–school activities, squeezing in everyone’s exercise sessions and social life, so the family mealtime looks different than it did a few generations ago. However, even with the chaotic timetable, there are plenty of opportunities to get the most out of meal times when you are together.
EATING TOGETHER AS A FAMILY HAS MANY BENEFITS:
Kids learn to eat a wider range of nutritious foods when they see their parents, family members and friends role modelling.
As a rule, only eat at the table to regulate natural hunger and satiety cues. This helps everyone to learn to eat the right amount for their body by eating mindfully.
Because of the immaturity of
children’s food experience, they tend to prefer separate, plain foods before they like them mixed up with other foods. Therefore, your idea of ‘family meals’ may need to change –
Rather than one pot, multicultural cuisines every night of the week, opt for more meals that can be served with foods separated, such as a fish or chicken with potato or rice and a platter of salad.
Ensure plenty of different vegetables are offered so everyone has at least three they enjoy.
Placing food in the middle of the table gives your child the control and independence they enjoy to learn to like the foods you want them to eat.
Choose build–your–own meals and be adventurous –
In sandwiches and wraps try spreading avocado or hommus.
In tacos, add grated beetroot or carrot.
Make rice paper rolls with wombok cabbage and shallot.
For homemade pizza try left over roasted pumpkin or zucchini.
Sushi with cucumber, avocado and grated carrot.
Mealtimes are a social family occasion and an opportunity for all to reflect and debrief from the day
Give a vermicelli noodle salad a go: Simply pour boiling water over the noodles, then let everyone put the different salad ingredients of their choice and the different protein options: nuts, tofu, boiled egg or meat, and choose a sauce or dressing.
Cooking meals in bulk means you have leftovers in the fridge and freezer and is a surefire way to avoid opting for expensive and less nutritious takeaway options.
Having leftovers, even for just part of the meal, such as steaming extra veggies, will also make it less work later in the week, to offer a nutritiously satisfying, balanced meal.
Mealtimes are a social family occasion and an opportunity for all to reflect and debrief from the day. Remove all distractions to allow the focus to be on social interaction.
If someone arrives home late for dinner encourage others to sit at the table to spend time together, offer a drink of water, glass of milk or a snack.
Mealtimes are a great family bonding activity and essential for teaching the life skills of food preparation and planning healthy eating habits. With a little patience and time for teaching, in no time your kids will want to cook for you without too much supervision! Tell stories of your eating experiences
Placing food in the middle of the table gives your child the control and independence they enjoy to learn to like the foods you want them to eat
when you were young, what were your likes and dislikes and fond memories of what a loved one used to cook.
Teach children about the five food groups and how to care about what they eat.
Delegate jobs for everyone so many hands make light work. Jobs for kids can include:
Bringing food out of the cupboard, fridge or fruit bowl.
Putting food away when you come home from the shops.
Harvesting herbs or vegetables.
Making a salad, tearing lettuce leaves, snipping shallot, and stirring. When ready, moving onto chopping up the ingredients.
Serving everyone their food on the table.
Setting and clearing the table.
Wiping the table clean.
Drying the cutlery and putting it away.
Embrace the ‘scratch dinner’ concept where everyone fends for themselves:
Be a ‘surprise chef and use whatever leftovers are in the fridge to make a soup, casseroles, or Spanish omelette.
Think of easy baked beans on toast, a sandwich or wrap or a cheese and tomato toastie with salad.
A Ploughman’s plate is a great idea; cheese, bread or crackers, veggie sticks with a vegetable dip.
Leftovers from the fridge or freezer could include some savoury mince on a jacket potato, toast, or spaghetti.
Carin Clegg is the Director of Bright Diets, is a Paediatric Dietitian and Fitness Professional with an interest in sustainability. Carin wants everyone to be clever about their eating to feel happy, healthy and vibrant! Reach out at 0413 774 411, www.brightdiets.com.au or on the socials.
SKILLS TO IMPROVE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH TODAY!
BY ALEX WILSON,ACCREDITED MENTAL HEALTH SOCIAL WORKER
Building long–term happiness can feel like it takes forever –but there is good news! There are three skills you can practice today that will significantly improve your mental health and ability to get through tough times.
These skills come from dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) which has been shown to be highly effective in regulating emotions and building long–term emotional resilience.
These skills can be difficult at first, but keep at it – practice makes perfect!
1. CHANGE YOUR BODY CHEMISTRY
When we experience high levels of distress, our body and our brain engage in processes to deal with the perception of threat. You may have heard of the ‘fight/ flight/ freeze‘ response. This is when the body injects large amounts of adrenaline and other stress hormones to get us ready to run or fight off the threat. Unfortunately our brain and body is telling us there is a bear coming at us, but there is usually no actual bear!
When we are in fight/flight/freeze mode the rational part of our brain is switched off and no matter how hard we try, we can’t think clearly in those moments. It’s not that we’re not trying hard enough, it’s just how the brain works.
We can change our body chemistry to settle the fight/flight/freeze response and get our rational brain back online.
Examples of skills that change body chemistry include:
Plunging your face into cold water.
Pacing your breathing (inhale 4 secs; exhale 8 secs).
Tensing and releasing muscles (tense for at least 15 secs).
Exercise (ideally at least a 7/10 intensity for you, for 20 mins).
2. CHALLENGE BELIEFS ABOUT PERMANENCY:
When we are in the midst of emotional distress, our brain often tells us we will never feel better. This is a false, but powerful belief that intensifies distress,
hopelessness and urges to avoid distress (which end up making it worse).
Ask yourself the following the next time you are distressed:
Have you ever felt better than you do in this moment? (The answer is yes and therefore history tells us you will feel better again).
Remember that change is the only constant. Nothing stays the same forever, including emotions.
Remind yourself of tough times you have previously gotten through (or write them down/ ask a trusted person to remind you.
3. REMEMBER EMOTIONS ARE JUST FEELINGS:
Emotions can feel incredibly intense and can trigger physical sensations in our bodies that feel uncomfortable, even painful. However, emotions are ‘just’ feelings. They can’t actually cause us harm – they feel uncomfortable until they pass (which they always will –see point 2.
It’s our attempts to get away from emotions that can cause us harm. Behaviours such as drug and alcohol abuse, self harm and isolating are common examples of attempts to get away from distress, but end up making things worse in the long–term.
Remind yourself that:
Emotions are just feelings that come and go.
The most emotions can do is make us feel uncomfortable in our bodies for awhile until they pass.
Acknowledging and validating emotions with compassion is the easier way through distress. Avoidance makes things worse in the long–term.
It’s important to understand that the world teaches us things about emotions and distress that are not particularly helpful or true, creating toxic positivity, which promotes avoidance. It takes time and practice to change our relationship with distress to make it manageable and to build our confidence to manage tough times.
Unpleasant emotions are not only inevitable, they can actually be helpful. Pain, for example, can indicate to us that a change is needed. Fear can be a prompt to protect ourselves or those we care about. Sadness can push us to connect with others to gain support.
Befriending emotions can lead to greater confidence and skill in managing tough times. Keep practicing and don’t give up! If you need help, reach out and find a good dialectical behavioural therapist to help and encourage you.
Alex Wilson is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and Director of Mindful Recovery Services and the Central Coast DBT Centre, providing psychological treatment and support for adolescents and adults. Alex is passionate about dispelling myths about mental illness, and is highly skilled in dialectical behavioural therapy. She is an experienced public speaker and provides consultation to other professionals on managing difficult behaviours in teens. Alex lives on the NSW Central Coast with her partner, two young boys, two goats, a bunch of chickens and a cheeky puppy named Axel.
UNWRAPPING CHRISTMAS CO–PARENTING: A guide for separated parents
BY GEORGIA SPENCER, SOLICITOR AT ORBELL FAMILY LAWYERS
As Christmas approaches, the pressures of co–parenting can intensify. Georgia Spencer, Solicitor at Orbell Family Lawyers, provides a practical guide to help separated Australian families navigate this challenging period. Discover effective strategies to handle the complexities of co–parenting during the holidays and make informed decisions that prioritise your children’s wellbeing.
The Christmas season can be an extremely complex and stressful time for separated parents. While the holidays are meant to be a time of joy and togetherness, they can also bring challenges, especially when it comes to deciding how your children will spend their time. For separated families, careful planning and open communication are key to ensuring a stress–free and enjoyable holiday season.
Start planning early
When co–parenting, it’s important to consider what time your children spend with both you and their other parent over special occasions such as birthdays, Easter and Christmas. Having these discussions early can minimise last–minute stress and ensure that both parties and, most importantly, the children have a clear plan in place.
In guiding these discussions, consider the following:
Holiday schedule: Decide where the children will spend their time over the Christmas period. Options might include splitting Christmas Eve and Christmas Day between both parents or alternating who has the children for the entire holiday each year.
A common example might look like this:
Children spend time with one parent from 3pm Christmas Eve to 3pm Christmas Day;
Children spend time with the other parent from 3pm Christmas Day to 3pm Boxing Day.
Make–up time: If the children spend less time with one parent over Christmas, consider how you can balance this out with additional time either before or after the holiday.
Negotiation approach: Stay flexible and open to compromise during discussions. If disagreements arise, remember that the focus should always be on what’s best for the children, and not what you or the other parent think you are entitled to.
Whatever arrangement you choose, it’s essential that both parents agree and remain committed to the plan. Civil and respectful negotiations are crucial to ensuring a positive experience for everyone involved, especially the children.
Tailoring your parenting plan to meet your children’s needs
When deciding on Christmas arrangements for your children, consider the specific needs and circumstances of your family. Key factors to think about include:
Children’s ages: Younger children may find it challenging to be away from their primary carer for extended periods of time, while school–age children could ideally be spending time with both parents (absent any risk).
Geographic considerations: The distance between the parents’ homes can impact the feasibility of certain arrangements.
For separated families, careful planning and open communication are key to ensuring a stress–free and enjoyable holiday season
For example, if one parent lives a few hours away, consider the impact of travel on the children. In these instances, block periods of time may be more suitable where Christmas is alternated each year.
Family traditions: Consider any longstanding family traditions and how they might be preserved or adapted in the new arrangements.
What
if
we can’t agree?
If you and your ex–partner are unable to reach an agreement on Christmas arrangements, it’s important to act quickly. The rules requires any parent wanting to make an application for interim parenting orders for the end–of–year school holiday period to do so no later than 4pm on the second Friday in November.
However, before applying to the Court, you will need to ensure you have made a ‘genuine effort’ to resolve your
Stay flexible and open to compromise during discussions. If disagreements arise, remember that the focus should always be on what’s best for the children
dispute. Family Law in Australia permits you to ensure you follow a checklist of pre–action procedures, which includes attending dispute resolution (mediation) and issuing the other parent with notice of your intention to commence proceedings (there are exceptions).
Practical tips for a peaceful holiday season
To make the Christmas season as smooth as possible, consider the following tips:
DO:
Begin discussions with your ex–partner about holiday plans as early as possible.
Stick to any existing Parenting Plans or Consent Orders (if applicable) to avoid disputes.
If you haven’t already, consider formalising your parenting arrangements into a Parenting Plan or Consent Order to provide clarity and avoid misunderstandings.
Be flexible and open with your ex–partner to compromise, always
keeping the children’s happiness and best interests at the forefront of your discussions.
Seek legal advice if you need help navigating the complexities of post–separation parenting.
DON’T:
Make holiday plans involving your children without discussing them with the other parent.
Change agreed–upon arrangements at the last minute unless both parents consent.
Speak negatively about the other parent in front of your children or probe them about who they would rather spend time with over the Christmas period.
Relocate with your children without the other parent’s consent or a Court Order.
Looking ahead to a joyful Christmas
With Christmas just around the corner, start having these discussions now. By taking these steps, you can ensure that your children enjoy a festive season full of love, warmth, and cherished
memories, no matter the circumstances. If you find that reaching an agreement with your ex–partner is proving difficult, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance. A family lawyer can provide advice tailored to your situation and help you navigate the complexities of co–parenting during the holidays.
If you would like further information regarding this article or your family law matter in general, please contact us.
Mention this article when you call to receive a free 15–minute discovery call with one of our experienced family law solicitors.
Phone: (02) 4314 6080
orbellfamilylawyers.com.au
info@orbellfamilylawyers.com.au
Why you shouldn’t wear a sports bra
everyday
BY SHELL BARKER, OWNER OF SHELL LINGERIE, BESPOKE BRA FITTING SERVICE
Sports Bras are for sports — Obvious, right?
If you wear a sports bra every day, you might be missing the mark. It’s important to know the difference. If your sports bra feels super soft and comfortable, it’s likely not providing the support you need. Many women mistake lounge bras or non–wired crop tops for sports bras. Let’s explore the differences and why you might want to reconsider your choices.
LOUNGE BRAS
A lounge bra is designed for comfort while lounging or engaging in low–impact activities, generally around the home. Lounge bras are a great addition to your underwear drawer, but they are not meant to replace your sports bras entirely. Instead, they are for casual outfits and low–energy activities, like walking to the post box and back.
THE MEDIA INFLUENCE
For some reason, we have been swamped by the media and Instagram with images of women wearing sports bras and crop tops every day. This trend can potentially impact your breast health and significantly affect your ability to be active. Poorly fitting bras are a huge contributing factor as to why many young girls stop participating in sports because they are uncomfortable. Likewise as adults, we are less inclined to exercise if we are wearing a bra that is uncomfortable.
THE IMPORTANCE OF A QUALITY SPORTS BRA
A quality sports bra is a well–constructed and complex garment designed to reduce breast movement. This is crucial during exercise, especially if you have larger breasts. But why is this so important?
Improving posture and performance: Breasts can be heavy (don’t we know it!), and the force created by them can pull your trunk forward, making you slouch. This can negatively affect your athletic performance and lead to headaches and neck and back pain.
Minimizing breast movement: Research has shown that during activities such as running and jumping, bare breasts can move up and down as much as 12cm!
Minimizing breast discomfort and increasing exercise likelihood: Excessive breast movement during exercise is often associated with discomfort and can be a deterrent to physical activity. Since both discomfort and insufficient support are barriers to physical activity, breast support should be a priority, and bras should be regarded as essential pieces of sporting equipment.
UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCE
Understanding the difference between a lounge bra and a sports bra is crucial for your breast health. That crop top you’re wearing isn’t a sports bra and won’t provide the support you need during workouts. Similarly, a “sports bra” (that might actually be a lounge bra,) isn’t designed for all–day wear.
Poorly fitting bras are a huge contributing factor as to why many young girls stop participating in sports because they are uncomfortable
As a bra fitting expert, I can’t stress enough how important it is to choose the right bra for the right activity to ensure comfort and proper support.
WHAT
TO LOOK FOR IN A
SPORTS BRA
A correctly fitting sports bra should be comfortable, supportive, and firm. You should feel the difference between your sports bra and your regular bra. A sports bra should be a garment that has multiple points of adjustability and be fitted by a professional. Generally, they will be made of many different elements, using up to 32 individual pieces.
DIFFERENT TYPES OF SPORTS BRAS: UNDERSTANDING YOUR OPTIONS
Choosing the right sports bra can be a game–changer for your workout comfort and effectiveness. Here’s a look
at two common types of sports bras and their best uses:
Compression crop tops:
Compression crop tops minimize breast movement by holding the breasts lightly against the chest. They typically don’t have built–in cups and are often pulled over the head, and generally come in XS to XL sizing. This style is best suited for low–impact activities such as yoga and walking.
Encapsulation sports bras:
Encapsulation sports bras are crafted with individual cups that support each breast separately, much like a regular bra. These bras are often used for high–impact activities like running. A good sports bra should always be bra–sized. These bras are perfect for those seeking maximum support and comfort during their most vigorous workouts.
Combination sports bras:
Combination or hybrid sports bras blend the best of encapsulation and compression styles, offering the benefits of both individual support and overall compression. Whether you’re practicing yoga, cycling, or weightlifting, these bras provide the versatility to support your active lifestyle and typically offer the highest level of support by integrating both encapsulation and compression styles.
THE WORLD OF BRAS: NAVIGATING WITH CONFIDENCE
Choosing bras can be stressful and challenging, especially for those with fuller busts. That’s why getting independent advice is crucial to ensure your bra fits you, your body, and your breasts perfectly. An independent bra fitter can guide you through the
Shell Lingerie is an empowering bespoke bra fitting service located on the Central Coast of NSW. Offering both virtual and in–studio fittings. Shell stocks bras up to an M cup and provides a wide range of bras, swimwear, and lingerie. Her service is designed to be everything a large department store is not, fostering a growing community of over 200 women on the Central Coast who have joined her bra revolution. As an advocate for embracing your body, Shell understands that our relationship with our bodies is ever–changing. She knows that what truly matters is that you deserve bras that fit you perfectly. Shell hopes to support you and your boobs soon! Bra fittings are by appointment only. Visit www.shelllingerie.com or follow @shellfullerbust on Instagram for more information.
differences between lounge bras and sports bras, helping you find the perfect fit. Think of your investment in bras as an investment in your wellness. A correctly fitting bra can enhance your physical and mental health, allowing you to move with ease, step out with confidence, and truly embrace the skin you’re in.
Surviving School Avoidance
BY LEANNE BROOKE, PSYCHOLOGIST AT HEART & MIND COLLECTIVE
For most families, getting off to school in the morning is a flurry of activity. Grabbing lunches off kitchen benches, racing back to get that news item or sports shoes and there’s always one person who “just needs to finish this” before you can get out the door. Most kids go to school and stay there until pick up in the afternoon, enjoying learning, friendships and being part of school community. But what can you do if your young one isn’t so keen?
For young people with emotion–based school refusal, even the thought of walking through the gates of school can fill them with dread and provoke a severe anxiety reaction. These young people often behave beautifully at school and do not break the rules or truant. They may be highly sensitive or suffer from anxiety or maybe they are neurodiverse – but the fact remains that going to school makes them feel terrible and eventually they are going to try and avoid going at all.
As a parent, teacher and psychologist, I am in the “privileged” position to have experienced these difficulties from all three perspectives. I remember sitting in the car with one of my children, holding them as they sobbed and shook, not even able to take off their seatbelt. Getting them into school, stony faced and stoic as they tried to “be brave” only to get a phone call from sick bay an hour later, asking me to pick them up. Our story has a happy ending. She aged out of the school system, as your child will too, but as a psychologist and school counsellor who now works in this space, I wish I had known the following things when we were struggling.
Look for early warning signs: In hindsight, my child’s problems started
well before high school. Despite being a high achieving student who held a leadership position in primary school, she struggled to find her “people”. She was popular and loved by everyone, but she felt lonely and disconnected. In the predictable primary school environment, she could always find a safe place or person to play with, but once she transitioned to high school this became more difficult. She had courage in spades, but nothing was a match for her social anxiety whose intrusive thoughts would cut her down before she had even got out of bed in the morning.
If you are concerned about your child’s anxiety or social functioning, see your GP or contact your child’s teacher and ask for some support from the Learning and Wellbeing Team at school. School counsellors are registered psychologists who are trained to identify early signs of mental health difficulties and although they may not be able to work one–on–one with your child in a counselling role long term, they can make referrals to helpful services and rule out any other difficulties such as learning or cognitive disabilities that may be having an impact on the child’s educational experience.
Validate concerns: It’s so easy to dismiss a young person’s worries about school, and take the opinion that they are just trying to “get out of class”. This may well be so, but we need to ask why. If the problem of not going to school has run away from you and you can’t get your child to even put on their school uniform, it’s not too late. Taking a non– judgemental, patient approach to school refusal and validating children’s feelings, will often help them to open up about their worries. Don’t be tempted to avoid school phone calls and text messages about frequent absences – ring the school and let them know that your young person is struggling to attend. Although schools are legally bound to follow up non–attendance, most staff have enormous compassion for families who are trying hard to give their school–resistant children an education
As a parent, you are your child’s advocate and main support. If you are struggling, seek psychological assistance so that you also feel supported and have someone to talk to who does not necessarily have a vested interest in your child’s school attendance
and will be happy to help. They may recommend the Home School Liaison Officer, or a partial enrolment, these are strategic resources to support and help. Always ask for help from the welfare department. Schools have counsellors/ psychologists, student support officers, year advisors and head teachers of wellbeing who can be your team at school.
Seek external support for your child and yourself: You are your child’s advocate and main support. If you are struggling, seek psychological assistance so that you also feel supported and have someone to talk to who does not necessarily have a vested interest in your child’s school attendance. It’s so easy to blame yourself for your child’s problems but blame leads to shame, and neither are particularly helpful when you are trying to solve a big problem like school avoidance.
There are so many pathways for education in this day and age, but just as it is always been, it takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a community to support parents whose children can’t go to school. Please reach out and don’t feel you have to tackle this alone.
Leanne Brooke is a mum to four grown up children. She is a registered teacher and psychologist who works as an Advanced School Counsellor during the week at local public schools, and as a psychologist for Heart and Mind Collective on Saturdays. Leanne is a 2025 recipient of the Anika Foundation Premiers Teacher Scholarship and has a special interest in school refusal, neurodiversity and anxiety related difficulties.
