Cabins are a sacred dwelling. Almost holy-like, in fact. Where else can you retreat to and escape the insanity that defines your living and working space? It is the only place onboard that you can flee to undisturbed...that is until you begin sharing with a cabin inmate... The likelihood of sharing a cabin as crew member is an almost sure bet. You think sharing with one is bad enough? It’s very likely that there could be up to three or four undomesticated creatures per pea-size cabin. Living in a pea with someone, or some few, is not what one would describe as desirable. Let’s not be mistaken- peas are great, just not to live in. This is why your cabin mate, or inmate, can determine how your time is affected on the boat. There is a holy, unwritten law and etiquette that governs cabin do’s and don’ts and everything sacred within them. These laws are known and unspoken. If you hear them being spoken of, it generally means the unforgivable has occurred-someone has done the ungodly and breached them. Dirty underwear strewn across the floor, ungodly smells coming from ungodly places and just a general disrespect for your shared domain are just a few things that one might witness. However, such examples are quite tame in comparison to what you could, and unfortunately do, encounter. We’ve all heard the stories of crew coming home intoxicated and mistaking their cabin mate’s bed for the toilet- usually while they’re sleeping in it. Switching vomit-ladden duvet covers for their cabin mate’s clean duvet is another breach of the unwritten cabin etiquette, and unfortunately has been breached all too often. Catching your cabin mate in the cabin with fellow crew members, or members of the general public, in a compromising position is another breach worthy for reality TV. These broken laws are all generally alcohol related - much to your surprise, no doubt. Though, whilst they’re not funny at the time, they always generate a good story and a good laugh...at a later date!
CABIN MATE The Good, The Bad and...The Unlucky.
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CABIN HATE Sharing with a Cabin Inmate. Then of course, there’s always the unfortunate chance that you might end up with an involuntary human wind-generator. Frequent farters are one thing to contend with, but frequent foul-smelling flatulence is not something you want to deal with, especially if its not your own. If your cabin constantly smells like something that’s crawled out from under a rock, then its hardly a place you want to escape to. However, this breach can be forgiven, depending on how much guest chocolate your cabin mate can bribe you with.
Personality and cultural clashes always account for cabin conflict. Sharing with an over-sized, messy Moorman with terrible taste in loud music, for example, is bound to end in a spectator spectacle. Great if you’re a spectator, not so great if you’re the cabin mate. Aside from the other obvious tidy versus untidy issues and the night owl versus the lark conflicts, there is also the dreaded - s n o r e r... Sharing your pea-size quarters with someone who snores can be challenging, especially on charter when sleep is a valuable resource. First you try and fall asleep before they do. If you’re too late for that window of opportunity, then you’re faced with growing irritation and a maraud of sound that makes it hard for you to fall asleep. Equally, viewing things from a snorers perspective can become a bit of a nightmare and an embarrassment, as you are totally incapable of controlling the scary noise that you make. A noise that some crew – those that don’t sleep with you -find hilariously funny to record and play back to you. Peace, tranquility and an escape is everything you want from a cabin, (apart from more space!). If you’re lucky this is what you’ll find. If you’ve got a considerate, tidy cabin mate then you’re even luckier. Let’s just hope that we don’t have a habit of falling into the above categories too often ourselves!
written by The Talking Stew