CONSCIOUS CHOICES: CRAFTING YOUR DESTINATION THROUGH MINDFUL LIVING

By Sarah Cottingham

In the grand tapestry of life, each thread weaves a unique story of resilience, choices, and transformation. My journey, a profound blessing, has at many times been like standing at the foot of a mountain that you’ve never been able to summit. The trek where the negative chatter echoes with each step forward. Hearing ‘spicy’ Sarah say, “Why are you here, you aren’t worthy of being here… doing this… you’ll never…” How many times have you doubted and delayed something because it was YOU that you had to overcome? My life has been full of moments like that. Those moments of doubt, quiet despair, and darkness have been some of my biggest blessings. They have been the finest masterful teacher about making conscious choices.

We’ve all encountered those moments, the dark corners of existence that we’d rather keep hidden behind the current, or that locked door. The moment I found myself in that place—a place once in my world synonymous with a selfish act of ignorance—was a pivotal turning point. In my dimly lit room, surrounded by unpacked boxes meant for our dream home, I sat in contemplation. The gun in the nightstand was within reach, promising an escape from the overwhelming chaos that my life had become. An embarrassing spectacle. The nightstand had the pull of a promise; a promise of peace, stillness, and nothingness.

Questions swirled in my mind, much like a wind howling around the jagged peaks of that challenging mountain: “How did I end up here? How could I have been so blind to a relationship built on deception and infidelity?” “Was I blinded by the rock on my finger?” “How stupid could you be?” “What will you do now, your business is shattered.” Everyone will say, I told you so.” These questions morphed into desperate statements, yearning for it all to end. I just wanted to BE just me.

I unwrapped those brightly, perfectly wrapped Christmas presents meant for the upcoming holiday, since, financially, this was not the time to be frivolous. I unwrapped each box to choose the couple that would mean the most to my boys. With the torn wrapping paper all around me, the weight of despair pressed upon me, like the crushing boulder perched precariously on the mountain’s edge. The easy way out was within arm’s reach, like a treacherous path leading to the edge of nothingness.

And then the reminder on my phone chimed, and like a sudden bolt of lightning jolting in the Arizona monsoon, a realization struck me. I had to reprimand myself for not being ready–I had a lunch date with a friend. A lifeline that had been thrown, even when I hadn’t told anyone I was drowning.

It’s astonishing how a simple choice, as delicate as a fragile flower pushing through a crack in the side of the mountain, or a small act of kindness, like a shimmering glimmer of sunlight breaking through the storm clouds, can alter the course of a life. That lunch turned into happy hour, unknowingly set this derailed train back on its tracks after it had careened off, much like a hiker finding her footing on treacherous terrain. Don’t get me wrong, I continued to stumble, and it took conscious choice after conscious choice to stay on the path. I tell you without any hesitation, get back up, look up, stand up, and breathe.

When I say I have everything to live for, it’s not an exaggeration. I am abundantly blessed to walk this earth, having experienced love, natural childbirth (in the back of a car with one of them), my family, my career of clinical practice, business ownership, the corporate world, and a lifetime of friendships. All of the highs and the lows. Through it all, I found my tribe—a warm oasis amidst the vast, daunting landscape of the mountain, or so we think it’s daunting. And then it’s not. You climb it, and then another one, and another one. You just keep going. It is a choice, a conscious choice. When you make that conscious choice, choosing joy, no matter what, your life is altered forever. I choose joy when I hike, I choose joy when I cold plunge, I choose joy when I meditate, and I choose to be joyful and grateful no matter what. It is just a conscious choice.

It all boils down to putting yourself first on the list and making that choice that you matter. It’s a deliberate decision to determine what I want, how grandly I want to live and love, and how I wish to express the unique gift I possess. It has been in an instant (so many times), to choose my life of self-expression, power, and contribution.

Throughout my life, it’s been a journey—a commitment to serve, not for recognition but simply to serve. The discipline and care I brought to my career were reflections of my inner strength, a strength tested time and time again in so many ways. The suicide of my brother was a shock that reverberated through the very core of my being. In the aftermath, I grappled with grief and despair so profound, to then find myself teetering on that same edge so many times. The embarrassing engagement and the decline of the business for a period. What was the difference, I ask myself that often–why am I still here? God’s plan for my life is not complete, and I have so much to continue to accomplish and experience. What was it really? I can point to, having had the experience of being the sister that lost a brother to suicide, a sister that no longer had a brother to call, having had the experience of being the family left with a huge hole. How could I ever do that to my family…. It was a conscious choice.

Yet, in that darkness, it sat on my heart: I had the plan. From that deep hole, surrounded by torn paper and ribbon, that reminder notification, and the lifeline lunch, I emerged. It was there that I discovered the spark of resilience that would become the bedrock of my journey. It was a choice—an active decision to seek the bright light amid the shadows, to embrace the smallest glimmers of hope, and to be grateful for even the tiniest gestures. These choices allowed me to breathe, expand into my greatness, and tap into my true power.

Writing about my journey brings so many moments of laughter and smiles as I reflect on the humor of it all. I sit in laughter at some of the ludicrous choices I’ve made that turned out to be invaluable life lessons. It’s all a choice, a conscious choice.

Speaking of choices, as a single woman, I made the choice to plunge into the world of online dating—a journey that was equal parts amusing and appalling. The ‘nightmares’ of dating in the digital age provided not just stories to share but also lessons in human nature and self-worth. These experiences, though sometimes disheartening, never diminished my belief in love or the importance of staying true to oneself. It’s a conscious choice to view life as bright and colorful, full of joy, even when reflecting on those crazy experiences. So now I choose to cold plunge; it’s so much more productive. I see the humor in it all!

With the global chaos that affected everyone, myself included. It was a time of introspection and reevaluation because it was wrapped up with all the other stuff that pushed me into a corner, and it was the pivotal moment of a conscious choice that has always helped get me to the light. I transformed the challenges posed by this global upheaval into opportunities for growth and inspiration. My ‘to-do’ list evolved into a roadmap for self-discovery and impact. My choices became mindful and heartcentered, marking a shift in how I lived my life. When that shift came, life as I knew it stopped, and my conscious choices led me to where I truly belonged.

My journey represents the power of conscious choices in crafting one’s biggest abundant life. Every decision, whether in my personal life or professional endeavors, has been a step toward a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me.

In sharing my story, I hope to inspire others to recognize the power they hold within themselves. The path to crafting one’s destination is not about avoiding challenges but about facing them with courage, making conscious choices, and finding strength in every step. It’s about understanding that every experience, whether good or bad, shapes us, sharpens us, and surrounds us. True abundance lies in living life with intention, mindfulness, joy, and a heart full of love. See it, seek it, and show it –it is a conscious choice. It’s about choosing joy and embracing true abundance at every turn. A conscious choice to be your most powerful self, a vessel that pours out love in everything you do and how you be. It changes your path, because you now see your future as the bright, expansive energy, and you are ready to live abundantly. Be that person who invites someone to lunch that turns into a happy hour; you never know how deeply you will impact the world with your one small gesture; it’s all a conscious choice.

About the author

The owner of Incito Enterprises, Sarah Cottingham’s journey from dental assisting, hygiene, office management and business ownership laid a strong foundation. Today, she provides coaching and fractional leadership, empowering professionals, and businesses with strategic growth insights. A respected clinician, speaker, author, and coach, Sarah combines big-picture thinking with meticulous attention to detail. She believes in “pouring from a full cup,” emphasizing the importance of people development for personal and business growth.