TO THOSE TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN, MUCH IS EXPECTED.

By Dr. Maggie Augustyn FAAIP FICOI

Legends of servant leadership, of creating inspiration in communities, of uniting and empowering others often start with a story of resilience; sometimes trauma, and often hardship. Anne Duffy’s beginnings in shepherding women were quite different. She grew up cared for and continues to be appreciated by those closest to her. She grew up in a family exercising kindness, faith, and, above all else, love for one another; a family who raised ‘five beautiful humans’.

One of two sisters, Anne’s dad called her and Doots (her sister) ‘pushy broads,’ in the most loving way. She’s a woman who unapologetically moves to the beat of her own drum, and is a visionary with a slight challenge that lied in logistics. To this day, Anne continues to be celebrated by her friends, family, and above all, her husband, whom she admits she still loves to kiss.

Anne’s motto through the gifts bestowed onto her is: ‘To those to whom much is given, much is expected.’ Not to say that her life wasn’t without challenges. She married a successful executive who traveled a lot; a man who later, as the entrepreneur that he was, started a prosperous company. Anne shared that there were many times during which she shook the proverbial fist at God, wanting to scream, ‘I didn’t ask for this. This is too much.’

But she didn’t get stuck in that mud. She didn’t let the messy middle get to her. She prayed incessantly. She prayed for the courage, the ability, and the will to combat that which was in front of her. And after she discovered what was holding her back from her God-given talents, she turned that same prayer into praise.

She went from begging for courage to being grateful for the courage. Anne is the very opposite of what we often see in people who grow up supported, people who turn entitled, and sometimes even narcissistic. Anne was cherished, and she is cherished, yet she’s never acted as if the world revolves around her. It’s quite the opposite, she lives as if she had been created to serve the world that gave her so much.

I was moved to write this article not just in awe or gratitude for what she’s given me, personally. I was moved to write it as an ode, as living proof, with myself as a scribe, a witness to the greater good of Anne’s doing. I was moved to write it within minutes of being at this year’s DeW retreat just a few days ago. I was moved when I saw her pick up the microphone and choked up with tears amidst a group of 150+ incredible women. She didn’t tear up as the emotional woman we often get accused of being. No, she got choked up because she was able to feel the presence of something bigger than her, because she was able to feel a connection that, we, as women, have with one another.

The morning after our first day at the retreat, I wrote Anne and my close mentors, that the meeting was nothing short of a miracle. It felt as if God was playing chess, and we were his pieces. He aligned and moved the pieces, into circles and places, for us, women in dentistry, not just to connect or collaborate, but also, and above, to heal.

Time and time again, I felt placed in groups of women who were to be my light and for whom I could do the same. This experience was not just unique to me. This experience was mystical because Anne has lived her life putting faith and God’s love above all else. And that God’s love that she felt was the love she dispensed. It was mystical because Anne prayed for it to be purposeful. Because she lived in union with the Holy Spirit and she opened the door to have it be moved onto us.

I know I am not the only one who sees her as divinely driven and divinely delivered to us in the moments when we are about to break. I am not the only one whose faith has been strengthened by her leadership, and not the only one whose life is forever changed because of her presence.

Lani Grass interviewed Anne on our last day of the retreat. It was a moment where we were all able to put her on the pedestal she deserved. We were able to celebrate her and get to know her. Anne began with a preface by saying that she was a little embarrassed and humbled by the request.

Anne told us about her upbringing, she told us the love story that she and Tom (her husband) still live out. She told us about DeW’s inception in 2016, of the time that she’d had enough of hearing yet another story about a woman, her friend, being disrespected in the industry. She told us: ‘It was finally time to DeW something about it.’

The humble beginnings of Dental Entrepreneur Woman were based on selflessly highlighting other women. It was about standing together rather than in competition. It happened in an organic growth, in a toast to women in dentistry. Anne didn’t necessarily expect to lead what she’d created, just like she had no idea that at the age of 70, she’d be wearing hot pants and fishnet stockings.

Anne united strong, ambitious, hard-working, and successful women in the audience. We were there as multi-passionate, potent women. Women in dentistry who have set out to change… no, to disrupt, the world in dentistry. The law of reciprocity didn’t apply here. We were simply not there for the taking.

We lived true to Anne’s motto: to whom is much given, much is expected. Rather than asking for connection and collaboration, like professionals are used to at networking events, we were there to give selflessly to one another. I heard narrative after narrative of the gifts we’d exchanged with one another. I was lucky to be given onto, and I pray that I returned enough in exchange. Once again, God’s chess pieces were moved to where they needed to be in order to improve lives, encourage growth, create change, and find acceptance within ourselves – within each other. So many tears were shed, that, in this expectation, tissues were packed in the goodie bags.

I spoke at Anne’s event about the disservice we do ourselves by remaining humble. I spoke about how we write our challenges in stone and our celebrations in sand; celebrations that are swept up by the ocean and forgotten soon enough, challenges that remain, and which we revisit and reimagine daily.

I felt the women in the audience painfully relating to oversimplifying their mistakes, apologizing for their accomplishments, and waiting for recognition. A friend came up to me and said how much she was able to connect to my monologue. We winked at each other and promised to revisit the conversation at a later time. Amidst the 150+ women, other speakers, and the discussions, we simply didn’t find each other or the time.

We attempted to grab lunch right after the meeting and also before our flights to no avail. But what did happen, what needed to happen, what was planned by a power greater than we could imagine – was us sitting next to one another on a plane, a flight we didn’t know we shared, despite the fact that we were going to two different parts of the world.

What did happen was an awakening of a sisterhood that we both needed to help our journey along. This was not luck or chance, nor did it happen by accident. Some might call it kismet; in The Alchemist they call it maktub, I call it Devine Intervention.

Right after the retreat, Shelly Otte wrote me: We are still holding every single moment, from this last week, sacredly in our heart, grasping on to it with hope. We find it hard to release the impact we so beautifully expressed in the company of one other.

Anne, you have voiced our struggles and reasons for celebrating so perfectly over the last 5 years. We want to speak what we feel, and we want to make sure that you hear us loudly; thus, we write these words in stone, never to be washed by the ocean. You are our light and our love, and in following you, we are that to each other. Can we ever do justice or write a profound enough tribute to a woman who used the Holy Spirit within her to share His love with all of us? We can certainly try.

I hope you understand that I speak for many of us who leaned into that love and received the gift. Many of us went into the retreat telling ourselves: “Go and be open,” the words still writing themselves in our minds and in our hearts. We left knowing what was next. Was there selfdoubt? Yes. Was there fear? Heck yes! But more than that, there is hope! Because someone has met you on a cliff and gave you the gift of seeing your own self in a different light and with a different kind of love.

You stay true to your promise of being open, and, for once, you’re quiet enough to hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit to wholeheartedly allow yourself to be vulnerable and receive the message.

I’m in disbelief at how God has moved us as His chess pieces to bring good. All you have to do is look for it. As I attempt to put that retreat in perspective, I am at a loss for words; something that doesn’t happen frequently. I, myself, pray that as I write this, I can do justice to the gifts that Anne has spread through the audience of 150+ women. The seeds planted, the hands held, the moments of bravery, vulnerability, and honesty will spread across many more women.

They will spread across our kids and spouses, our clients and patients, our neighbors and even strangers. The power of connection was experiencing a true human bond at the hand of Anne’s direction and under her guidance. I simply no longer believe in circumstance or coincidence. I have never been more sure that a power greater than myself, greater than all of us, is eternally present. God’s love is an invisible safety net. It’s always been there and always will be; all we have to do is believe it, see it, feel it, and live it. Anne is living proof of that.

And last, as incredible as Anne’s leadership is and will continue to be, none of this would have been possible without the sponsors who have helped Anne put the event together. Thank you to: Care Credit, Connect the Dents, Pearl, Curve Dental, Patterson Dental, AcceptCare, Benco Dental, Studio88, GLO Science, Dental Warranty, Mango Voice, Crest Oral B, onDiem, Pulpdent, Patient Prism, and Up Time Health. We are very grateful.

https://www.dentistrytoday.com/enough-with-thehumble/ 1 https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/kismet 2 http://thealchemistallusions.weebly.com/maktub.html 3

About the author

Dr. Maggie Augustyn, FAAIP, FICOI is a Dawson trained practicing general dentist, owner of Happy Tooth, author and inspirational speaker. She researches, writes, and speaks on the things that make us human, make us hurt, and make us come alive. She evokes emotion in her audiences, awakening all to the beauty of our chosen paths. Dr. Augustyn is one of dentistry’s most prolific writers with a “Mindful Moments” column in Dentistry Today and a frequent contributor to Dental Entrepreneur Woman, AGD’s Impact, and DentistryIQ.