EXECUTORSHIPS, TRUSTS, ESTATE PLANNING: NOT A SEXY TOPIC

By Lynn Pencek, RDH

My mom passed away when I was in graduate school. My Aunt Ange is my mother’s older sister. She was one of the last amongst the living elders in my family. She never married, had no kids, lived alone, and had no intention of leaving Florida.

My husband and I would visit Aunt Ange each year in March. We would catch preseason Phillies games, check out the sights of western Florida, eat at chain restaurants, and play cards with Angie’s friends.

When my dad was dying of lung cancer, I learned he helped Angie manage her accounts, and he had asked me to take over the responsibility. As part of his will, he set up an annuity that pays $3K a year for me and both of my siblings. My sister uses the money to pay her taxes, I’m not sure what my brother uses the money for, and I would use this money to visit Angie.

Why did my dad choose me to take care of Aunt Ange? Was it because I am the firstborn of her nieces and nephews, I’m the only family member with a health care degree, my husband is a lawyer, or because I visited my aunt the most and had the best relationship? Was it that he saw skills in me I did not recognize in myself?

Over the years, I helped my Aunt check out options in assisted living, sell her house, downscale, move to assisted living, move to a bigger apartment in assisted living, and then eventually move from assisted living in Florida to the Jersey Shore, where I could be more available to help her as her needs increased.

My aunt’s place in New Jersey was just a few blocks from my beach house. Together with my brother, we moved her furniture from Florida to her new place in hopes that she would be comfortable in a “somewhat familiar” environment. I really enjoyed having Angie up with me at the Jersey Shore.  I was able to take her to doctors’ appointments and manage her finances during my weekly visits, take her out to lunch, and eventually, when the weather got warmer, I wanted to take her to Atlantic City.

Angie unexpectedly died before the warm days of spring. Had I known she was going to die in less than six months, I would not have moved her.

Angie put a lot of time and preparation into her departure. Becoming an executor is a big responsibility. My first piece of advice here is to check out your tax laws before you help elders move. There are reasons elders choose to live in Florida, tax laws are a big factor.

During this time, I was working as a territory rep for Nobel Biocare, I was distracted from my accounts while taking care of my Aunt. My sales performance was lower than expected, and my employer eliminated my sales position two months after Angie passed. It was the best possible thing that could have happened to me.

I am sure the HR representative on my call had never heard the “I’m good” as the response to being let go from their job. Being an executor can be thought of as a full-time job, it is a huge responsibility. At this point, I was over-extended and not doing a good job of either my sales position or collecting the information needed for the estate work. I was not sleeping well; I was experiencing heartburn, and my blood pressure was up. I’m a strong person who thrives with a challenge, but this is where I needed to call a safety.

No one expects to die early. Please read this next section with mindfulness of both being the executor of a loved one’s estate and the planning of your own estate. The more you do now to plan, the less burden (or mess) you will leave to your family. As a DEW – keep in mind how this affects your business, clients, and family.

Consider setting up a Trust

A Will is a document that defines how possessions and property will be distributed. You will go through the process of probate to determine the validity or invalidity of the will. Do note that probates can be complicated, time-consuming, and expensive.

A Trust is for the protection of your accumulated assets. With a trust, a trustee is assigned to hold the legal title to the trust to manage the assets and property for the benefit of the beneficiaries.

It is best to meet with a lawyer to determine what is best for you.

Be organized

To help my aunt when she was alive, I created a new email address for her accounts. This kept all her records separate from mine. This was probably my smartest step. I bought an inexpensive iPad to keep her account apps in one place, and I kept a sheet of her account’s balances. Her passwords were kept in my OnePassword App.

It is essential to keep this information separate and manageable.  I kept Angie’s paperwork in a spectacular vintage leopard fur coat bag of hers.

Keep good records

• Make a list of all accounts – banking/savings /retirement /pension/annuities/ insurance accounts /credit cards (all of them)

• Copy of living will, DNR, Will, Amendments of the Will, Trust, Power of Attorney

• Safe combinations

• Location of Keys

• Funeral prearrangements, your specific request,

readings, music, what you would like to be laid out in

• Phone/email of contact list of friends

Establish a location where records are safely kept Most institutions will require a certified copy of the death certificate before business transactions can occur. Request 10-15 copies of the Death certificate.

Legal documents – Trust guardianship letters and power of attorney. Real estate deeds, titles to property holding, marriage certificates, divorce decrees, property settlement agreements, and vehicle registrations.

Financial - Bank statements, certificates of deposits, stock certificates, tax returns, loan papers, life insurance policies, annuity contracts, health insurance information

Other/ ID - Information military service papers, Social Security card, birth certificate

Executors will be asked for the same information over and over, to be organized, make a quick reference list of the date of birth, date of death, and social security number. Keep a digital copy of your power of attorney, Trustee/ Guardian. I used an app called Genius Scan to keep PDF copies of my aunt’s trust.

Think wisely when you delegate an executor. Being that I had helped my aunt manage her accounts and had a relationship with her bank, financial advisor, and tax accountant, Angie was comfortable asking me to help with this responsibility. She left me a red book with all her prearrangements and directions. In this book, I found most of the notes in my father’s handwriting.

Make a list of what assets you would like to see given to specific family or friends. Assets distribution can sometimes bring out the worst in people and tear apart families, make a list of your intentions. This will prevent arguments among your loved ones later.

Include in this list - Jewelry, dishes, silverware, family bible, holiday decorations, CD’s/records, furniture, pets, the house, the car, timeshare, etc..

If you are blessed and have disposable funding or do not

wish to leave your finances to your family, you can set up a scholarship or charitable contributions in your will.

Filing taxes for someone who is no longer with us is sobering. It’s final.  I have found this past tax season the hardest part of the process emotionally.

Grieving….

There are grief counseling services available. Journey Hospice reached out to me the morning my aunt passed away and assigned a grief counselor to join me at the hospital when my aunt died. (Imagine having that job!) This hospice service offered to make teddy bears from my aunt’s pajamas. I shipped the teddy bears to my cousins with the distribution of my aunt’s fine jewelry. My cousins in Oregon opened their boxes to find pink bears decorated with my aunt’s costume jewelry. The teddy bears were wearing sparkly clip-on earrings, pearls, and antique rhinestone broaches.

I am blessed to have a solid relationship with my brother and sister. As siblings, we became a strong unit when addressing our father’s estate. There was no confrontation when my sister handled my father’s estate. Now that I am arranging my Aunt Angie’s trust, my six cousins are giving me space. I have had a good experience as an executor, but I am a changed person from this responsibility and feel closer to my aunt than before.

About the author:

Lynn Pencek left the cooperate world to serve as executor for a family member’s Trust.

Returning to clinical experience after twenty-five years in sales with Orascoptic and Nobel Biocare, Lynn self-identifies as a conduit. Helping bridge gaps in formal dental hygiene education and new technology, Lynn addresses common questions and misunderstandings about dental implant basics and maintenance.

Founding Practice at your Best, LLC, Lynn is available to share her unique balance of industry knowledge and clinical experience in Dental Hygiene study groups.

Lynn Pencek, RDH, MS  Helping Dental Professionals Practice at Their Best Lynn@PracticeAtYourBest.com (215) 206-8784