DFWChild May 2020 by DFWChild

WORKING AT HOME MADE EASIER

M AY 2020

MEET DESIGN PRO AND MOM NEXT DOOR SUSIE ROBB

THE HOME ISSUE

IS YOUR ALLERGY MEDICINE SAFE?

+ #NOFILTER: TEACH YOUR KID PHOTOGRAPHY

pages / M A Y

2020

DEPARTMENTS NOTED 9 Bad Medicine?

What you don’t know about your child’s allergy medicine could hurt them

REAL MOMS 13 Mom Next Door / Susie Robb

This home design pro talks about her successful business, her charitable foundation and raising kids who give back

13 9

ABOVE // Susie Robb loves interiors and the outdoors—gardening with the help of her kiddos (who really just play in the dirt).

16 Briefs / Remake Your Space Our Mom Next Door shares easy ways to create your family’s happy place 18 Routines / Emily Morehead This mom balances her work as a therapist with caring for her young sons

KID CULTURE 25 Little Shutterbugs

Introduce your kids to photography— and watch them snap away

FEATURE 20 Home Work

How to bring balance to your work-at-home life words Ashley Hays

COLUMNS

4 Hello / Life in Focus

Embracing the slower pace words Heather Vance Devers

MOM NEXT DOOR: COURTESY OF CORTNEY DANI PHOTOGRAPHY; ALLERGY MEDICATION: ©ISTOCK; MOM TRUTH: MARY DUNN; WYATT AND IAIN: CINDY JAMES

ON THE COVER Cover Kids: Wyatt, 9, Iain, 7 Photography & Styling: Cindy James / Alyssa Pizer Management

CREATIVE + CONTENT DIRECTOR Heather Vance Devers

Digital Editor Sydney Blalock Ritchie Calendar Editor Elizabeth Smith Editorial Intern Emily Yearwood

EDITORIAL Executive Editor Carrie Steingruber Managing Editor Alexis Patterson

ART Contributing Editorial Designer Lesley Busby Graphic Designer Susan Horn

PUBLISHER/EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Joylyn Niebes

CREATIVE DIRECTOR AT LARGE Lauren Niebes ADVERTISING Account Executives Alison Davis, Nancy McDaniel, Sandi Tijerina

6 dfwchild.com / Off the Pages Top baby names for Dallas-Fort Worth, getting organized and more

38 Confessions / Mom Truths

A little white lie and other memorable parenting moments

Accounting Jeanie Vance Office Manager/Bookkeeper Ann Mathai

ADMINISTRATION Business Manager Leah Wagner

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ABOVE // Heather Vance Devers in her home with her daughter, Betty, and son, Jude.

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NOTE

life in focus

HIS IS DAY 31 that I have been quarantined in my house with my 6-year-old daughter Betty, my 2-year-old son Jude and my husband Jeff. Those are words that six months ago I never imagined writing. Neither my husband nor I are on the front lines of this virus (all the respect and gratitude for those who are), so we’ve had the luxury of slowing down. Pre-quarantine, with both of us working and him often traveling, we usually had a divide-andconquer mentality, just doing our best and high-fiving in passing. Now my husband and I aren’t ships passing in the night, spending only minutes of quality time together each day, but team members and constant companions in this crazy new reality. Our whole pace of life has changed. Instead of a wellchoreographed dance to get everyone out the door in the morning, it’s a more relaxed waltz to get everyone fed and decide whether we’ll get out of pajamas today. The pressure to be a “hustler” has fallen away, and I relish not having 20 things on my to-do list before I even get to work. Not that we haven’t had things to do— we have planted a tree, built a barn door, homeschooled, caught grasshoppers (or “grass officers,” as my son calls them), taken long walks, tackled chores that have been on our to-do list for entirely too long, lost a tooth, pee-peed in the potty, got a margarita to go, celebrated a birthday and had Zoom calls with friends near and far. This season has made me refocus on what is important in life. What really matters at the end of the day? When you’re constantly on the go, without time to even think, it’s very easy to get caught up in frivolous things. Six weeks ago, I was dying for a tan leather jacket. I scoured stores online, saved up some money and ordered one. By the time it arrived, we were quarantined and my beautiful jacket had lost its luster. Do I really need this? Who’s going to think it’s cool—my kids who are wearing their pajamas at 2pm? My husband in his sweatpants? No, and we don’t need to be spending the money right now anyway. So with my stylist heart dying a bit, I sent the jacket back, and I know it was the right decision. When we all go back to our normal lives—or whatever our new normal is—I hope we don’t just forget the time we’ve spent looking inward. The truth is, we all needed to slow down a little, stop focusing on the trivial things, and spend more time on ourselves, our families and the things that really matter.

Wishing you all good health,

Heather Vance Devers

PHOTOGRAPHY BY KORENA SINNETT

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WELCOME TO MAY! The weather is in the 70s and 80s (aside from the occasional trek into the 90s) and summer is getting closer and closer. That’s right: Homeschooling is coming to a close. Whew. It’s good news, and we can all use some good news these days. We’ve become pretty accustomed to social distancing and our new “normal” during the pandemic, so let’s try to recapture fun as best we can. Visit dfwchild.com for resources, recipes, how-to guides and so much more. While you’re there, sign up for our newsletter to have it all delivered straight to your inbox.

Most Popular Baby Names in DallasFort Worth

Technically, the top baby names for this year won’t be released until May 2021, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get some insight now. Using info from Names.org as well as the names from our most recent DFWChild Baby casting call, we’ve spotted some local name trends for boys and girls.

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ALLERGY MEDICINE: ©ISTOCK; PILL PACKET: NOUN PROJECT

noted.

BAD MEDICINE? the dark side (effects) of allergy medicine WORDS

CARRIE STEINGRUBER

“M

Y SON IS VERY CALM, he is very shy, and he’s not very quick to anger unless you’re his little sister,” jokes Brooke Reimer. “He’s just not the kind of kid who goes off the rails.” Yet two years ago, when faced with an uncooperative Hot Wheels toy, 5-year-old Bryson pulled a Bruce Banner (that’s the mellow scientist who turns into the Hulk, for you moms not familiar with the superhero world). “He pushed over the Hot Wheels track and broke it,” Reimer remembers, “and he just started yelling and crying and screaming. I’d never seen him do that. It lasted like an hour or two.” After that, four or five times a week, some tiny trigger would send mild-mannered Bryson into a rage, Reimer says. And between tantrums, he was mopey and sad. He just wasn’t himself. “I remember asking him, ‘Why are you so angry?’” Reimer says. “And he just started crying, dfwchild.com / may 2020

noted / B A D

MEDICINE?

and he said, ‘I don’t know. I’m just mad.’” warning” just means the cautionary text on That was the tipping point for Reimer. the label is enclosed in a black box for emphaShe called Bryson’s Fort Worth allergist sis. The goal is that patients and providers and said she wanted to take her son won’t ignore it like we do that part off Singulair, even though it was of every medication commercial the first medication to sucwhen the narrator takes a cessfully control his severe soporific detour through the asthma symptoms, which side effects. seemed to be exacerbated Actually, the purported by allergies. side effects of Singulair (or “It was an allergy mediits unbranded name, moncation,” Reimer emphasiztelukast) might catch your es. “It was supposed to stop attention: anger, aggression, the sniffles and the cough”— anxiety, depression, suicidal not alter his personality. ideation. Since Singulair hit Bryson’s not the the market in 1998, only kid to suffer the FDA’s Adverse side effects after Events Reporting starting treatment System (FAERS) has for allergies or received more than asthma. This spring, 4,400 reports of bad the Food and Drug side effects in kids 17 If your child’s doctor Administration and younger, includissued a boxed ing 81 deaths. recommends Singulair… warning (informally We need to put dubbed a “black an asterisk by those Do your homework. Make sure you understand box warning”) for the risks and the benefits so that you can make numbers. The crowdSingulair thanks to an informed decision. Remember that for most sourced database an alarming colleclikely contains miskids, the medication is safe, but talk about the tion of stories like side effects with your child’s doctor. Be sure to leading or redundant Bryson’s. reports, while other mention any existing mental health problems. We don’t know incidents surely go Ask about alternatives, especially if Singulair is how, mechanically unreported. Still, Dr. prescribed for allergies. The Food and Drug speaking, Singulair Lara Gross of Dallas Administration’s new guidance says that tampers with patients should use Singulair for allergic rhinitis Allergy and Asthma patients’ wiring, but only if other allergy medications prove harmful Center stresses that we do know that not or ineffective. these bad experiences all allergy medicaare rare. Don’t give in to guilt. Whatever you decide, tions are as innocent remember that you have your child’s best “Although these as they seem. In are some scary side interests at heart. Try as you might, you can’t fact, even over-theeffects, they are see the future. counter Benadryl uncommon, and can mess with your overall it’s still a very If your child is already taking Singulair… mind, yet you probsafe medication,” she ably have a bottle Talk to your child’s doctor. Discuss your concerns says. in your medicine Among the kids and ask about alternatives, especially if your cabinet right now. she treats, the most child is taking Singulair for allergies. If your Should you common side effect child is responding well to Singulair, you might stop reading and is vivid dreams, choose to stay on the medication. purge your home though she’s also Pay attention. Look for changes in your child’s of antihistamines, behavior—for example, acting out or becoming stopped the drug nasal sprays and when parents wormore withdrawn. You know your child better Singulair tablets? Not than anyone; if something seems off, it probried it was making necessarily—after their child more ably is. all, no medication aggressive. Don’t quit without a Plan B. Before you stop the is 100% safe, and “It’s kind of medication, consult your child’s doctor about even the best allergy inconclusive,” she next steps so that there are no gaps in your treatments carry a explains. “Was it child’s treatment. Remember that the side tiny dose of risk. But effects might not go away immediately. the Singulair? Was some of these unasit something else? suming drugs have Some kids’ behaviors more disturbing side changed [after stopeffects than others. ping the medication]; some didn’t. It’s so hard to quantify and THE SIDE OF CAUTION there’s so many variables.” Despite the ominous nickname, “black box So far, no studies have proven a causal 10

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

TISSUES: ©ISTOCK

Allergic Reaction

link between Singulair and those eyebrow-raising side effects. But the growing pile of reports, coupled with animal studies that suggest Singulair can act on brain cells, prompted the FDA to strengthen its warning. They feared that patients were making uninformed decisions because providers weren’t disclosing the risks. “My pediatrician didn’t tell me, my allergist didn’t tell me—I told them,” confirms Reimer, who actually said no the first time Singulair was prescribed for her son. She had heard concerns about the drug at work; otherwise, she believes, she would’ve agreed to it readily. “You don’t think twice about allergy medicines.” TRIED BUT NOT TRUE Case in point: the ubiquitous diphenhydramine, aka Benadryl. It’s a first-generation antihistamine, able to sneak into the brain and influence the central nervous system, explains Dr. Dalia Galicia of Advanced Allergy and Asthma Associates in Fort Worth and Southlake. “It crosses the blood-brain barrier, and that’s why it has more side effects than the second-generation antihistamines, such as Claritin, Zyrtec, Allegra.” While Benadryl’s sedative properties might save the day (or night) from time to time, that drowsiness does kids no favors in the classroom. In studies, kids taking Benadryl perform worse in school than those taking a second-gen antihistamine. Or a child might react to Benadryl like I did—by bouncing off the walls, which is also not conducive to success at school or home. Galicia adds that it can be easier for kids to dangerously overdose on Benadryl than, say, Claritin, perhaps because the former is administered every four to six hours rather than once or twice a day. We’re still learning about the long-term effects of first-gen antihistamines too—recent research ties prolonged Benadryl use to dementia in older people. Yet we still think of Benadryl as “the tried and true,” Gross says, adding that Benadryl does work faster than some alternatives. That’s not enough to tip the scales, in her opinion. “There are newer antihistamines that do not have those side effects and last longer, so there’s really no reason why I would start a child or an adult on Benadryl at this point.” THE BEST MEDICINE Not so with Singulair. Gross says that for many patients, it is unproblematic. “If a child’s asthma or allergies are well controlled on the medication, and they’re not having any side effects, there’s no need to stop it,” she states. Gross especially warns against quitting cold turkey without talking to your child’s doctor—your kiddo may need an alternative medication to keep their symptoms at bay. And while there are alternatives—antihistamines or nasal sprays for allergies, inhaled corticosteroids for asthma—Singulair has a unique mechanism that makes it the best option for some patients. That was Reimer’s fear when she and her husband chose to take their son off his meds about a month into treatment. “I was a CPS caseworker at the time,” she says, “so I was convinced that they were going to call me in for medical neglect.” She laughs about it now, embarrassed, but there was a real possibility that she was denying her child the only treatment capable of controlling his asthma. Thankfully, Bryson’s new medication, an inhaled corticosteroid, has proven just as effective as Singulair. It took a few weeks for Bryson to fully emerge from his funk, but eventually the Reimers got their son back. Reimer hopes the black box warning equips other parents to weigh the risks of starting or continuing Singulair—and empowers them to say no if they’re uncomfortable with the balance. “I was scared to say no,” she admits. “I thought that they were just going to think I was a horrible, horrible mother who wasn’t looking out for her son’s best interests, when that’s what I was trying to do.” dfwchild.com / may 2020

real moms.

RÉSUMÉ

AGE 36 LIVES IN Grapevine HAILS FROM Lubbock OFFSPRING Son Adam, 7, and daughter Sarah, 5 ALMA MATER University of Utah, where she earned a degree in ballet FIND HER AT shopfromsusie.com (online store), susierobb.com (blog), @fromsusie (Instagram) and 626foundation.org (charitable foundation)

ROBB AND CHILDREN: CORTNEY DANI PHOTOGRAPHY; ONLINE CART: NOUN PROJECT

Home design pro Susie Robb says she has a "really honest relationship" with children Adam and Sarah.

mom next door /

SUSIE ROBB

making happy homes WORDS

ALEXIS PATTERSON

HAPPY, PEACEFUL HOME can work wonders for well-being. Susie Robb knows all about that. She owns shopfromsusie.com, an online home decor store with handmade Texas products, vintage pieces and curated imports. Through her From: Susie brand, social media presence and a recently created foundation, Robb uses her eye for design to help others create spaces that empower them and cultivate tranquility and joy. Work gave Robb strength to overcome a painful season in her life: the end of her marriage (while parenting two toddlers). “I think my dreams about a career in design and decor were an attempt to pull myself out of the devastation,” Robb reveals. “I thought, I’ve got to take a small step toward the future. Once I did that, it felt like freedom.” Today, after a couple of leaps of faith, Robb is thriving—and growing every day. “I’ve dfwchild.com / may 2020

real moms / M O M

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may 2020 / dfwchild.com

decided all of life can be therapy,” she says. So consider this a session “from Susie.” What sparked your interest in interiors? My grandmother is a self-proclaimed decorator. She would rearrange the living room for no reason, just mixing it up. I don’t know if it’s nature or nurture, but that’s what I have been doing since I can remember. My grandmother always had stacks of magazines, like Traditional Home, Southern Living, Better Homes and Gardens, Victoria, all of them. We would cut out pictures, tear them out. My sister says that, growing up, my bedroom didn’t look like a teenage girl’s room. It looked like a showroom or a guest room; I was just very meticulous about the drapes matching the bedspread and so on. My grandmother helped. And she still mails me clips from magazines. How did your career develop? You have a ballet degree—did you consider becoming a professional dancer? Yes, I wanted to be a professional dancer, but often that will evolve into a teaching career, and I knew teaching ballet wasn’t my passion. Honestly, I didn’t have a plan. I got married, moved back to Lubbock and kind of fell into these admin roles. I was a receptionist for a hotel developer, worked my way up, started getting into purchasing. In that role, I was making some design decisions and understanding the business side of things. I stayed in the purchasing and procurement field until we started having kids. You were a stay-at-home mom at that point? Yes, and that’s really when the interior design stuff started to pick up—because I am not a homebody. So I was turning into my grandma, rearranging furniture and painting rooms. It made me feel productive and gave me a creative outlet. I started doing some home design for friends and family. Then I really wanted a home decor store, and I got connected with a friend of a friend from church who owned one. She needed some part-time help that would be like an apprenticeship for me. While all this was happening, my marriage was falling apart; we ended up getting divorced. I knew I would need to go back to

work, so that was another reason I wanted the store job. The hours coincided with the exact time my kids were in mother’s day out, and I just cried with relief. If I had taken an admin job, it would be 8am–5pm and I’d have to put my kids in day care. I wasn’t ready to make that change on top of a divorce. The end of a marriage is really tough to go through, especially with small children. It was very painful. There were days I couldn’t get up off the floor of the closet, and I was like, I can’t do this anymore. So I went to Care.com to find a nanny—I had no other option. And truly by the grace of God, I got connected with someone who was amazing. She taught my son to read at age 3. My daughter had become a little nonverbal—which, now, I look back and think, OK, that makes sense, because our home life was so toxic. And our nanny helped pull her out of that. She was literally the mom I couldn’t be for the season it took me to transition out of that relationship. What happened, professionally and personally, as you got stronger and embraced the new chapter? The designer in me was coming back full-force. I was really thinking about implementing design, seeing design trends and wanting to do remodeling projects. It was just being exposed to this world that I had loved for a very long time and had kind of suppressed. Then here it is again, and it felt like a second chance. And I bought a new house, because I couldn’t afford the one I shared with my ex. I bought the ugliest one on the block, and I loved it. It was one of my first remodels, and it was my own home. It brought me a lot of joy, but also a lot of heartache because remodels are so hard. (Laughs.) How did you transition from working parttime in a store to developing your own brand? After I remodeled my house, I did one for a friend. They hired me to be the interior designer and it turned into more than that; I was practically their general contractor. I felt like, OK, here’s more and more experience that I’m gathering.

“IT WAS A TEACHABLE MOMENT WHERE WE ARE GIVING OTHERS THE BEST, NOT KEEPING IT FOR OURSELVES.”

ROBB AND CHILDREN: CORTNEY DANI PHOTOGRAPHY

JOIN

NEXT DOOR

that’s not online already, and it’s branded as “From: Susie,” made in Texas. That changed everything for me. And I have collaborations with other female makers. I have this heart for female artisans because of how much women supported me during my divorce. I have a pillow maker down in Waco, a tea towel maker in California. Sarah Briggs in Waxahachie does our jewelry. We also have antiques. We’re finding these cool salvage pieces, unique pieces with unique stories. You now focus most of your interior design work on your foundation. Tell us about that. Over the years, I found that a lot of people who wanted to remake their spaces had gone through something horrific. Something tragic. It was like, OK, I see the pattern. These people aren’t happy with their home, and they’re all stuck. They want me to come help. They didn’t have the skillset or the finances to create an environment they like. I started helping people out, which was rewarding for me, but I wasn’t getting paid. One day in the car, I was half-praying, half-venting. I was like, There has to be a grant or something I can apply for to get some money to pay myself so I can keep doing this or pay for their renovation. Then I really feel God was like, “I want you to do it. Start this foundation.” I called some friends with experience in nonprofits, and I started the 626 Foundation last fall. The name comes from Scripture, Matthew 6:26. It’s about God providing for us. So the foundation offers no-cost interior design services to families affected by tragedy. We did our first project for a mom who was living in a shelter and had just gotten her first duplex. She had nothing. She said, “I was so excited to get out of the shelter and into my own place, and now I’m just devastated because now all I see is lack.” I’m like, “We got this.” We created a fully designed and furnished space. It was lifechanging, for her family and for me. It’s also a powerful message for your kids. It’s showing them what giving back looks like. For the little boy in the duplex, I ordered all these vintage comic books for his room. We bought a pack of 100 on the internet, and I had my son Adam go through and pick out the best ones. He said, “Can I have them?” I’m like, “Oh, buddy. No.” It was a teachable moment where we are giving others the best, not keeping it for ourselves and giving them what’s left. I’m really proud of the lessons my children are learning.

Learn more about the 626 Foundation and donate at 626foundation.org. The website has information for interior designers and decor businesses that want to offer services and products. Also, shopfromsusie.com has a 626 collection, with all proceeds supporting the foundation.

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I was doing these design projects on the side and working 30 hours a week, now as manager, at the store. I was busy but was being paid only as a part-time worker. I knew I needed to do something. The day I was going to tell the store owner that I had to make a change, she said, “We’re thinking about selling the store. We really feel like we’re supposed to offer it to you first.” So I withdrew my savings, borrowed from my parents and bought the home decor store. The first thing I did was tie in my interior design business. After a year, I had to close the physical store, mostly because of time management. I could never find the time to go to the store and fluff it. I was the one shipping orders for our online store, and it was like, I can’t do all these things. And the physical store itself really wasn’t that much of an income generator. Then it was time to rebrand. What was that process like? The old name was the former owner’s last name, and I didn’t feel a connection to it. And people were confused by it. Social media has been a big part of our brand from the beginning, but the former owner never put her face on there. So I get the store and immediately start doing stories and videos. If you didn’t know before who owned it, you did now. But the name didn’t make sense. Last summer, I hired a branding manager. She became like a therapist. She wanted to know everything—and I mean everything— about me. She would make me write down goals. It really helped shape and mold me into the businesswoman I am today. We finally decided on “From: Susie.” It was like, That makes complete sense. It sounds simple, but I felt like this is what I do. I’m giving, whether it’s a product or helping makers or artists; the whole thing is a gift. I mean, there’s a price tag, but it’s this offering. So it was “From: Susie,” and the pun worked to say “Shop From: Susie,” “Designs From: Susie”—everything could have that tag. It was just brilliant. How do you stand out professionally? It’s a very saturated market. Everyone is on Instagram doing home decor stuff. Stores were carrying the same products and competing with each other, and even more recently, we’re competing with Amazon. These are products that I’m trying to make a margin on to support my family, and they’re on Amazon for pennies on the dollar and can be shipped to your house the next day with free shipping. I was like, I don’t know how to do this anymore. It was another divine connection that this guy reached out to me on Instagram. He said, “We make products here in Texas. Can we meet with you?” They told me we could design products, and they would make them for me. I didn’t have to buy minimum quantities; they could just make them as I needed them. It was a no-brainer. They could design it, I could design it, we could work off other designs—but the idea was that we’re going to make stuff

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real moms / B R I E F S

REMAKE YOUR SPACE susie robb’s picks for a peaceful home INTERVIEW

ALEXIS PATTERSON

C A N D LE S + FA M I LY PH OTOS

g “Lift your spirit with a great-smelling candle. You can choose seasonal or timeless scents, and the basins for your candles can add to your decor scheme.” g “Display photos of your family and friends around your home. Frame those pictures you never got printed off your phone or have a large canvas created from a family vacation!”

‘‘ 4

FLO R A L S

THE EASIEST AND MOST COSTEFFECTIVE WAY TO REFRESH YOUR SPACE IS SWITCHING OUT YOUR THROW PILLOWS. PILLOWS ADD COLOR AND TEXTURE AND CAN INSTANTLY CHANGE THE LOOK OF YOUR ROOM. CONSIDER USING PILLOW COVERS FOR EASY STORAGE, AND SWITCH THEM OUT SEASONALLY. 16

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

“Real or fake flowers can add such a boost to your space.”

SENTIMENTAL PIECES AND ITEMS FROM THE PAST ADD SO MUCH DEPTH TO YOUR HOME. THESE BECOME CONVERSATION STARTERS AND MAKE YOUR SPACES TRULY UNIQUE. I LOVE INCORPORATING A FAMILY HEIRLOOM OR A SALVAGED PIECE THAT HAS A STORY.

All pieces pictured here can be found at shopfromsusie.com.

BA S KE T S “Baskets are so versatile! They look great in your space because they add a bit of texture and hide all the clutter by providing extra storage. I like baskets with lids when you’re using them to contain toys, but if you want to showcase a gorgeous throw, consider rolling up your throw blankets and letting one spill out the top. Add a house plant and you can bring a pop of green to the natural textures of the basket.”

ALL IMAGES: CORTNEY DANI PHOTOGRAPHY

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dfwchild.com / may 2020

a monday in the life of

EMILY MOREHEAD Emily Morehead is a therapist and co-owner of The Couch, a team of female therapists who provide in-office appointments, telehealth and in-home services. Morehead also serves as clinical curriculum developer for Gladney Center for Adoption. She lives in McKinney with husband Braden, who works at Toyota Financial Services, and their children: Winston, 2, and Baker, 6 months. Between helping clients and chasing kiddos, Morehead enjoys time on her yoga mat.

:15AM Braden and I wake to the sound of Baker’s coos through the monitor. Braden grabs Baker and I turn on the coffee pot. Let’s do this. 6:20AM Coffee and baby snuggles. Braden and I discuss agenda. The boys are home with me today, and Braden is heading into work. 6:30AM Start on pancakes. Winston will wake up any minute and he will be hungry. 7AM Braden heads out. I catch up on morning emails while listening for Winston to wake up. Baker is right next to me and giggling over his new book. 7:30AM “Old MacDonald had a shark …” I hear Winston singing in the monitor. I bring Baker upstairs and greet Winston with his favorite song, “Good Morning to You.” 8AM Dress both boys and head down for the now-cold pancakes. Winston argues for more syrup. I decide it’s not worth a battle and give him the freedom to pour more on his plate. 8:07AM I step directly into a puddle of syrup. Maybe I should have fought that syrup battle. 9AM Winston is now painting. I check emails while the boys are both occupied. I send out a blog that I wrote last night and start writing a list of to-do’s for the day. 9:30AM Baker starts to rub his eyes, the first sign he is ready for a nap. Winston is now occupied via Kinetic Sand, and I hope it will buy me

enough time to get Baker down without Winston “helping.” 10:10AM Kinetic Sand for the win. Baker is down. 10:30AM Yoga time. Winston does the Old MacDonald version, and we giggle about his horse pose. I walk to the kitchen to start dishes but hear “Mama, join me.” Done deal, buddy— I’m coming. 10:33AM Baker is up. I tell Winston to keep up the pig pose and that I’ll be right back. I snort as I walk away to disarm the frustration he has about me having to go get brother. 11AM Start on lunch. Today it is bean-and-cheese Trader Joe’s taquitos for Winston, while Baker and I get sweet potatoes. 11:45AM My neighbor drops by a Play Street Museum dinosaur bank that I purchased for Winston to paint. I hide it away for a meltdown day. 12PM Time to transition upstairs to Winston’s room for stories. We read The Rabbit Listened, Grumpy Monkey and Pig the Stinker. Baker loves storytime with big brother and coos. Winston thinks this is cute, and we all giggle. I feel tired but at peace. 12:30PM We sing bedtime songs. Winston reminds me that “Mama not sing it as good as Dada.” I lay Winston down and then go to Baker’s room for his turn for naptime. 1PM Tiptoe out of Baker’s room. Both boys are asleep, which always makes me feel like I conquered the world. 1:05PM It’s dedicated work time. I start working on our upcoming edition of Gladney Center’s reFRAMED podcast. I develop questions and send them to my producers. This podcast is about the neurobiology of healing. 2:30PM Trial run of telehealth with my private practice partner Monique. I hear Baker in the monitor, and that officially wraps up our time. 3:05PM Winston is up, and it’s time to get him a quick snack before the ENT. He tells me that he had a bad dream about a whale and wonders if a whale lives in his house. I reassure him that we live far from the ocean but that his dream sounded scary. 3:20PM I need to get the boys in the car for Baker’s doctor’s appointment. Winston wants to wear his rain boots and I’m rushing him, so a meltdown ensues. 3:35PM We pull up to the doctor at the exact appointment time. I remind Winston that we don’t touch things in the doctor’s office. I’m prepared to whip out my iPhone for some screen time if needed to keep the germ touch at a minimum. 3:37PM Into the doctor’s office. I’m drenched in sweat working to keep Winston from touching all the things. 3:45PM Screen time commences. “The Ants Go Marching One by One” is playing in the background as the doctor and I agree Baker needs tubes. 4:15PM I get the boys home and put Daniel Tiger on the TV. It’s time to start dinner.

Diaries are penned by moms (and dads) in the North Texas area. The authors volunteer to share a day of their choosing and are not paid or endorsed by DFWChild. Send your diary to editorial@dfwchild.com. All submissions are subject to editing and may be cut for space. 18

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

MOREHEAD FAMILY: KATE PRASLICKA PHOTOGRAPHY

real moms / R O U T I N E S

the fine

BRAND NEW MODEL HOMES

WHAT SHE’S READING Untamed by Glennon Doyle WHAT SHE’S WATCHING The Real Housewives of (any city) FAVORITE INDULGENCE

My monthly dinner with my lifelong best friends WHERE SHE GOES FOR RETAIL THERAPY West

SANITIZER: GERM-X; BOOK: THE DIAL PRESS

Elm. We just moved into a new house and I am having fun decorating and making it feel like home. FAVORITE DATE NIGHT SPOT Harvest restaurant on the McKinney Square GUARANTEED TO MAKE HER LAUGH My boys—kids are silly! GUARANTEED TO MAKE HER CRY The photos of me during my infertility treatments to get pregnant with Winston NO. 1 ITEM ON HER BUCKET LIST African safari WORDS SHE LIVES BY “Keep the earth below my feet”—Mumford & Sons MOM BAG CONTENTS So much Germ-X, wipes, diapers, Tylenol, snacks and a spare pair of my contacts SHE’S INSPIRED BY Brené Brown MOTHERHOOD IN FIVE WORDS Connection, attachment, attunement, nurture and grit

4:30PM Braden is home and pasta is boiling. I check email as he connects with the boys. 5PM Braden and I eat pasta, and Winston chooses a granola bar. Braden steps in a new secret syrup spot from this morning and we laugh. 6PM Baths, stories and bedtime. I take Baker to rock him, and Braden covers Winston’s song requests. 6:05PM Baker starts drifting to sleep holding my shirt. I focus on his little fingers clinging so tightly to me. I was in a hurry to get downstairs and catch up on emails, but those tiny fingers ground me into slowing down. 6:15PM Dishes and a quick sweep of the house. Braden and I tag-team the rooms that need tidying, and he starts a load of laundry. 6:30PM Time to get back to work. Tonight I’m writing curriculum for an anxiety group that we are holding at Gladney. 7:15PM A new client appointment comes through for The Couch. Monique and I staff the clients presenting needs and determine who is the best therapist for each individual. 8PM It’s time to catch up with Braden. He reminds me he missed us today. We laugh about things the kiddos did and turn on a reality TV show to wrap up the day.

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finally, the world is talking about the challenges that work-at-home moms faceâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got advice from the experts WORDS

A S H L E Y H AYS

#WAHM 20

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

#SAHM

WORKING MOM: ©ISTOCK

“I HAD TO HAVE A DESIGNATED OFFICE SPACE. I HAD TO FEEL LIKE I WAS AT WORK, BECAUSE I REALLY WAS.”

dfwchild.com / may 2020

ING! A PIERCING FACEBOOK NOTIFICATION

alerts you to a friend request awaiting your approval. Apparently you have a few mutual friends with this energetic-looking woman whose bio includes the phrase “Bossbabe Mom.” Her most recent status update is a picture of her working at her living room desk, a steaming cup of coffee and her laptop in front of her and a baby asleep in the bassinet at her side. Involuntary eyeroll as you delete the request. Unfortunately, that’s the knee-jerk reaction toward the work-at-home mom, or WAHM. It’s impossible to ignore what’s going on around us. As we adapt to the new normal of COVID-19, moms everywhere are finding themselves in uncharted work-from-home waters, frazzled and looking for a life preserver. The option to work from home was becoming more common even pre-pandemic, with many companies beginning to offer remote positions, especially for moms seeking more flexible careers. And there are plenty of “mompreneurs” who run their own businesses out of the home office. Yet before the flood of #WFH listicles in the wake of the coronavirus, a quick Google search for “moms who work from home” yielded many results: the working mother, stay-at-home moms and dads, second-shift moms, moms in politics, Mr. Moms … and crickets on the actual WAHM front. It’s like they didn’t exist. The conspicuous absence of WAHMs in modern research studies means there are minimal data-backed sources for parenting advice geared toward WAHMs and the challenges they face—for example, conflict with spouses. The experts I interviewed for this article didn’t even have enough evidence or examples to feel comfortable saying their clients’ relationship woes stemmed from the mom working at home. Instead, what the WAHM does and the challenges she faces are typically conflated with those of the more commonly known stay-at-home mom, or SAHM. Let’s get something straight first: Neither role is for the weak, and moms nationwide are finding that out in a way they never anticipated. But for a long time, it’s been too easy to lump the WAHM in with the SAHM. Both get to stay in the comfort of their own homes, remain in pajamas, tend to the kids, watch a little daytime TV. The only difference is the WAHM stays on her phone more. Right? As a former SAHM and current WAHM myself (even prior to COVID-19), just typing that made me cringe. My husband and I run a business together that operates one day a week. The other six days are spent marketing and advertising, networking, creating projections, managing finances, counting and ordering inventory, responding to emails, adjusting budgets … and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I have a 10-year-old stepson, 9-year-old twins and a baby 22

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

on the way, which means there is always a load of laundry and a sink full of dishes that need to be done. Oh, yeah—I’m also a full-time undergrad student, so throw some research papers in with my third and fourth graders’ impossibly difficult math homework. I’d like to say that I have the secret of how to get it all done, but the reality is that my days are typically spent jotting down to-do lists on the back of junk mail while trying to be a present mom by listening to my kids’ never-ending stories, and waking up at 3am from nightmares about emails I never responded to. Sound familiar? Breathe a sigh of relief— you’re not alone, and there are ways to bring balance to your work-at-home life.

pressures plus the demands of whatever job you have is a lot for a mom to take on alone.” She suggests outsourcing some of these daily tasks to others, be it a spouse, a family member or close friend, or even hired help if financially feasible. I know, it’s a tough pill to swallow. We are Mom. We have lived up to that title through years of hard work and sacrifice. We are not helpless. However, Christian says the “I should be able to do this” belief is what inevitably breaks the WAHM down. (Say it louder for the moms in the back.) Katey McFarlan, Fort Worth mom and owner of the lifestyle blog Chronicles of Frivolity, agrees that it’s important to split the parenting and household to-do list with your spouse. “I’m really good at asking my husband to do the dishes or COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS help me cook dinner,” she says. “Tell your family I know I can’t be the only one who goes behind what you need from them.” my husband after he puts dishes into the dishShe’s had to outsource tasks like grocery washer in order to reload them the “right” way, shopping and soccer game chaperoning to her or to check my kids’ rooms and give them the husband in order to meet the deadline of a highA-OK to go play outside so I can go in there and profile client who may not understand that she actually clean it how I like it. On my bad days— isn’t operating out of a standard office. “You’ve when I’ve got homework due at midnight got to ask for help,” she says. “Your kids and three clients asking for revised don’t care if they’re with Daddy quotes, and the boys still haven’t at the grocery store or with “IF SHE hung their wet towels up—I Mommy at the grocery store, hold on to this stuff. I they just know that they’re CONTINUES TO WORK mentally compile a list of being loved at the groeverything I had to do cery store.” THROUGH THE that day, from reloadChristian advises EVENING, JUST BECAUSE ing the dishwasher to erasing gender roles hanging up the kids’ and expectations, and SHE’S PHYSICALLY IN dang towels, on top of just looking at what HER KIDS’ PRESENCE what I needed to get the family needs in done for my business. order to function. She DOESN’T MEAN THAT Basically, I intensays spouses should tionally overwhelm discuss who is responSHE’S REALLY myself. The kicker, sible for what in the home THERE.” though, is that I don’t have so there’s no confusion. But to do it all. even two parents might not be From firsthand experience, let able to do it all. That may mean me tell you: Unnecessary martyrdom is asking your mother-in-law to take the not attractive. Why did I feel the need to rearbaby for the afternoon so you can make that conrange the dishes? Why couldn’t I just tell my kids ference call. But don’t expect her to offer if you that no, their rooms were not satisfactory, then don’t ask. Again, it’s all about communicating go about my business while they continued to your needs (and limitations). clean? Why can’t I trust my husband to fill up the Fort Worth work-at-home veteran Lauren water filter dispenser, or allow my kids to make Keefe homeschools her teenage daughter on top their own breakfasts in the mornings, or ask my of running her company, Happy Tomato Fresh neighbor if my kiddos can play with her son Salsa. For Keefe, it’s not always feasible to comtoday while I get some work done? plete what her business requires during her “norAnd if I can’t communicate these things mal” scheduled work hours. “Some days, I had to my family and friends, then how is it even things that I just couldn’t work around, and I had remotely fair that I resent them for not doing to rely on my other homeschool moms to help their part? me with my kids,” she says. “I have an amazing AnnaMarie Christian, Ph.D., of Stanford group of friends who kind of step in for me when Couples Counseling in Plano says the biggest I need them to.” issue a lot of her parent clients struggle with is Having a circle of people who understand communicating their need for help. She says that your position as a WAHM is critical—so much WAHMs in particular sometimes just have to so that Christian advocates full transparency and rely on delegating. vulnerability with family and friends who may “Look at everything that a stay-at-home mom not entirely understand what your day entails. normally does,” Christian says. “Cooking, clean“You have to level with your people and say, ing, child care, playdates… All of those daily ‘Look, this is a day in the life of me,’” she says. “It

actually takes an extremely disciplined person to work from home. You have all the responsibilities plus the distractions of the comfortabilities of your own life and being in your own space.” Even your spouse might not realize you don’t have time for chores during the workday. “It’s not something my husband and I ever fought about,” Keefe says, “but he just didn’t really get, like, ‘Why didn’t you have time to do these certain things around the house?’ And it’s because I was focused on whatever work I was trying to get done that day. It may have taken me longer because of interruptions from my daughter, or maybe I had to go pick up my son from practice. A lot of the time, housework gets pushed to the wayside.” Let your circle know that you still have tasks, deadlines and someone to answer to—just like any in-office employee. (Of course, you may need to remind yourself of that sometimes too.) CREATE A DESIGNATED WORK SPACE “Picture being in the middle of a conference call, your child projectile vomits, you have a client who keeps calling you on the other line because they emailed you at 8am and they don’t understand why you haven’t replied yet, and the dog is barking because the neighbor is knocking on the door asking if you can watch her kiddo,” laughs McFarlan. “That’s what it can feel like to work from home!” Because the sounds of life are unavoidable, Christian emphasizes how imperative it is to have a specific place in your home set aside for working only. “You can’t talk to clients on the phone while you’re cleaning pots and pans in the background,” she says. “In my own personal experience working from home, I had to have a designated office space. I had to feel like I was at work, because I really was.” I can personally attest to this: My work area is sacred. My kids know that when I am at my desk, I am in the zone. They are not allowed to ask me for a snack, use my printer paper to draw, or play games on my computer once I have entered that zone. I shut the door behind me, turn on Thunderstorm Nature Sounds Radio on Pandora and put my nose to the grindstone. Having that intimate space to mentally transition from Mommy to business owner is a crucial part of my productivity. It takes tons of self-discipline to silence the distractions of kids, chores and daily activities going on around you, but carving out an area in your home that is purely yours to work in loosens the binds of domesticity and makes it easier to focus on your job tasks. CLOCK IN AND OUT After all, setting (and respecting!) personal boundaries is the big issue for the WAHM. Working from home means we sometimes have flexibility in our schedule, but we also have the constant temptation to do non-work tasks—or to let work time bleed into family time, to the detriment of both. This means setting work hours and

sticking with them. “That’s always been hard for me,” says Keefe. “I can’t tell you that sometimes I don’t go switch out the laundry in the middle of what’s supposed to be my working time.” She says that ignoring laundry and other household chores can make her feel neglectful as a parent. “If I have a project that I’m working on for Happy Tomato, I have to tell myself that for this designated period of time, this is what I’m working on—and that’s just that,” she says. “Then when I’m done, I am done until my next self-allotted work time.” Christian is adamant that if you fully commit to the work schedule you have created for yourself, all household chores can wait. “If you were not working from home, would you really have the urge to stop and do laundry?” she says, chuckling. (I’d say it depends on the workday!) “Starting or folding a load of laundry isn’t something that would normally be accessible to you,” she continues. “That’s why my No. 1 tip is to find that secluded space to work in and to adhere to the work boundaries you assign yourself, including your hours.” Of course, you may choose to get some home and family tasks done during a formal work break. “If a WAHM finds it easier to cook dinner on her hour-long break so she can spend more time with her family when they all get home, by all means, do so,” notes Christian. “Just don’t feel like you must do it.” When it comes to on-the-clock time, writing down your schedule can be a huge help in sticking with it. Sometimes just visually seeing where your hours go can jump-start your motivation. “I live by time-blocking,” says McFarlan. “Maybe one day I’ll shoot content from 4–6pm, then from 6–8pm I’ll just be Mommy, then I’ll get [my daughter] in bed and I’ll answer emails until 10pm. Whatever I decide to do, I have to stick to the boundaries I created for myself.” Clocking in and getting what needs to be done, done, is equally important as clocking out and staying done. “By dinnertime especially, I’m done with work,” says Keefe. “I’ve been lucky in that not much has gotten in the way of that so far.” She’s noticed that people often see the work-fromhome schedule as a luxury (I’m not going to lie—it can definitely be a gift at times), but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. “The delusion in society is that the workfrom-home mom has it so easy and she’s so lucky because she gets to spend time with her kids whenever she wants,” says Christian, “but if she continues to work through the evening, just because she’s physically in her kids’ presence doesn’t mean that she’s really there.” McFarlan says that her downfall is that she is a “horrible people pleaser,” which can be harmful to her family life. “I’m blessed with a really great manager who had to tell me—and still reminds me—that I have to set boundaries with my clients as far as how quickly I can turn something around,” she says. “I have to account for my other job responsibilities and my child’s life, and

that includes setting boundaries of when to call it quits for the day.” PART OF THE CONVERSATION Perhaps as moms everywhere grapple with these same boundaries during their temporary workfrom-home stints, WAHMs will become a permanent part of the conversation—and subsequent research. Talking about our challenges and clearly defining our needs now is one step toward realizing future resources for parents who go searching for help in this new age of work. Maybe this craziness is the start of WAHMs getting the recognition and support we need. I, for one, am ready.

The Social Network

One of the cons of being a work-at-home mom is that you can easily feel lonely without the company of adult coworkers. Social media can sharpen these feelings of isolation by facilitating the “grass is greener” notion … or it can be used for networking and spreading encouragement. Check out these local groups for WAHMs and mompreneurs: • North Texas MomPreneurs is an active Facebook group for socializing and support run by a local mom and business owner. Occasionally the group hosts in-person events. Search for the group on Facebook. • Dallas Femalepreneurs has social gatherings about once a month (including last December’s “Office” Holiday Party for women without an office) and an active Facebook group. Search “Dallas Femalepreneurs” on Facebook and meetup.com. • The PLANO (Professional Ladies Actively Networking Outrageously) Breakfast Club meets at local venues throughout the year and has a Facebook group for connecting online; search “PLANO Breakfast Club.” • The Mom Success Circle, hosted by Elayna Fernández, meets regularly to offer support, relationships and business strategies to WAHMs in the Fort Worth area. There is an associated Facebook page with tips and encouragement called Marketing Mastery Meetups (facebook.com/groups/marketingmasterymeetups). Try browsing Facebook or meetup.com to connect with other WAHMs in your area and find your people.

dfwchild.com / may 2020

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RAIG DOBIE GAVE HIS DAUGHTER Jaila her first camera when she was a toddler. “We started with a Fisher-Price camera,” the Mansfield-area dad recalls. “She also got one-use cameras in her Christmas stocking each year. Jaila loved that she could take pictures and see them.” It runs in the family. Jaila’s grandfather enjoyed photography and did tax work for a camera retailer; as a kid, Dobie accompanied his dad to the store and became interested. Years later, he would share photography with Jaila. “I gave my son cameras as well, but my daughter is the one who really picked up on it,” notes Dobie. “She’s now 15 and really creating her own style.” Jaila’s work has even placed in competitions. “With photography, you get to express the cool things around you,” she says. “It’s so beautiful seeing how your pictures turn out. And in other people’s pictures, you can see things you wouldn’t get to see yourself.” dfwchild.com / may 2020

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says Hughes. Stores like Fort Worth Camera will print your photos (from regular prints to canvases and more); you could also consider buying a small photo printer that connects to smartphones and tablets. Then it’s showtime. “Kids love to see photographs they took up on display,” observes Hughes. “It’s such a boost to their confidence.” GET EQUIPPED If a child sticks with photography, you “A smartphone or a tablet is a great way to can consider more substantial equipment. get your child hooked on photography,” says “When Jaila was around 11 or 12, she got her MacKenzie Hughes, first ‘real’ camera—a general manager of Fort hand-me-down DSLR,” Worth Camera. “All those says Dobie. “And as she devices have cameras, progressed in her interand virtually everybody est and creativity, she has one.” started asking for lenses Of course, you probfor her birthday.” ably want a heavy-duty But don’t feel If you’re going to invest in equipment case and a protection like you have to max and accessories, here are some plan before placing an out your credit card. recommendations from LaBianca. You expensive device in little LaBianca points out that can find these products at various stores hands—but it’s an accesCraigslist is a potential and online retailers, including the sites sible tool. Jaila used her source for deals. “There listed below. iPad as a camera for are a million options,” years. You can also dig up HP Sprocket 2-in-1 Portable Photo Printer she says. “It’s just a ques& Instant Camera Bundle with 8GB your old digital camera. tion of which you’re Either way, it’s possible to MicoSD Card and Zink Photo Paper // ready to take.” amazon.com gauge your child’s receptiveness to photography Fujifilm Instax Mini Instant Camera // BUILDING without making an addi- walmart.com TECHNIQUE tional purchase. Once your child has Sunmns Camera Neck Shoulder Strap Fascination with tools, it’s time to get for Fujifilm Instax Mini // amazon.com the final product can clicking. “You can tell Polaroid ZIP Wireless Mobile Photo Mini be another indication your child to go on a Printer // target.com of interest. “To me, the scavenger hunt and take Vmotal Mini Digital Camera // amazon.com pictures of what they biggest clue that my daughter Sutton was Sony RX100 Compact Digital Camera // find,” shares Hughes. into photography was sony.com “There’s plenty to shoot that she loved looking at around your house, Nikon D3500 DSLR // nikonusa.com my albums,” shares Liz yard and neighborNikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 35mm Lens // LaBianca, a professional hood.” Younger kids may nikonusa.com photographer who is enjoy taking pictures of based in Frisco and spethings in different colors cializes in photographing and shapes or finding children. “Even when she was really small, she subjects grouped by number (two pets, three would grab photo albums instead of books. I bikes, four trees, etc.) was a lot like that as a kid.” Moms and dads can help kids develop the With her daughter poring over photos and building blocks for good photography. “Teach asking to use Mom’s cameras, LaBianca knew it kids to look at things from different angles,” would be worth buying Sutton a camera of her suggests Hughes. “Have them take four picown. Two Christmases ago, Sutton—now 6— tures of the same flower from various perspecgot an HP Sprocket instant camera and printer. tives—above it, below it, to the right of it and The device takes and prints 2- by 3-inch to the left of it. That’s a basic compositional snapshots or stickers. “Sutton would put the exercise that pays off in the long run.” stickers all around the house,” says LaBianca. Understanding the impact of light is “This year I got her the Fujifilm Instax. But important too. “They can take a picture of the film is expensive. If a child wants to take the flower at different times of day. See how only a few pictures and then they’re done—or the colors look warmer or cooler or the ways they just want to take a bunch—you might go shadows change,” says Hughes. a different route. But Sutton loves to touch the Kids can also develop talent by talking pictures she takes.” about other people’s pictures. Show your chilPrinting pictures snapped by your kid is dren photos and ask how the images make powerful. “It’s taking something a child envithem feel, as they learn to evoke feelings in sioned and turning it into something tangible,” their own photography. “I ask my daughter,

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Liz LaBianca, a Frisco-based photographer with clients all over DFW, offers these words of wisdom: AGES 5–6 When the child looks through the viewfinder or at the on-screen camera view, help them with these skills: Keep the horizon line straight. Try not to cut off heads, feet or arms. Try different perspectives (get high and low). Imagine they are looking at a picture frame before they press the shutter. AGES 7–8 LaBianca believes kids in this age group can handle handme-down cameras or used gear. If you’re not familiar with photography, you might ask someone who is to help your child understand how the camera works. As your child takes photos at this age, they should… Think about the story they can tell with their image. Ask what the “picture goal” is. To capture emotion? To take a portrait? Pay attention to the environment and how light affects an image. Place a doll or stuffed animal in different light and see how it changes the settings on the camera. AGES 10–12 For kids who have some experience, LaBianca considers this a good age for an entry-level DSLR (digital single-lens reflex) camera. Encourage your child to… Start learning how to read the environment before they take a picture. Predict the settings they’ll need to get the shot they want. See how different focal lengths can change the story their image tells. (“If they’re responsible enough, this is the age when I would introduce different lens choices,” says LaBianca.) AGE 13+ This may be the time to invest in better gear for your child. “Depending on commitment to the art or how passionate they are, there are a number of different lenses and cameras that could suit this age group,” says LaBianca. She advises young photogs to… Start learning how to control the camera’s different focusing systems if they learned to shoot in manual mode. Start learning editing software. “Lightroom is a fabulous choice for beginners,” notes LaBianca. Try an online class, or find a trusted mentor to answer specific questions.

‘What story are you trying to tell?’” says LaBianca. “I like to inspire her to shoot with awareness.” CONNECTING THROUGH PHOTOS In addition to developing her creativity, photography has given Jaila a special way to connect with her dad. “We go on photography walks together and have a father-daughter day,” Jaila says. Dobie adds, “We try to outdo each other taking the best photos. It’s great to have a common interest.” Photography can also help a child connect to the world around them—a must in an era saturated with screens. “It slows me down,” says LaBianca. “With photography, I started looking outside. It helped me pay attention to the details.”

SUMMER CAMPS DIRECTORY dfwchild.com/directory SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

dfwchild.com / may 2020

PROMOTED CONTENT

HOW-TO GUIDE

Everyone’s into life hacks these days. We want to do things better, faster and without complications. So here’s our How-To Guide for a simplified family life.

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

PROMOTED CONTENT | HOW-TO GUIDE

Some of history’s most successful adults— Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison and Benjamin Franklin—were dyslexic. ADHD Signs of ADHD are divided into inattentive behaviors and hyperactive-impulsive behaviors. Inattentive symptoms: + Making careless mistakes + Being easily distracted + Not seeming to be listening when spoken to directly + Having difficulty following instructions + Having trouble organizing + Avoiding or disliking sustained effort + Being forgetful, always losing things Hyperactive-impulsive symptoms: + Fidgeting or squirming, trouble staying in one place or waiting his turn + Excessive running and climbing + Having trouble playing quietly + Showing extreme impatience + Seeming to always be “on the go” or “driven by a motor” + Excessive talking or interrupting, blurting out answers

How To Identify Signs of a Learning Disability in Your Child Take the first step toward learning success Does your child fall apart after school? Do certain homework assignments take an excessively long time to complete? Maybe your child refuses to go to school on certain days, such as when there’s a math or spelling test. These may not be behavioral issues—they could indicate that your child has a learning disability. Students with learning disabilities often struggle with time management, transitions and organization. These timing troubles can cause problems both in school and at home. But you can learn to recognize the signs and help at-risk children before they experience learning failure. The most frequently diagnosed learning disabilities include dyslexia, ADHD, executive functioning problems, dysgraphia (an impairment in writing ability) and dyscalculia (which makes basic math difficult to learn). Children may have a variety of symptoms.

may be even higher. Those who have dyslexia use only the right side of their brain to process language, while non-dyslexic individuals use both sides of their brain for this task. Symptoms of dyslexia may include:

DYSLEXIA This is by far the most common learning disability; studies indicate that 5–10% of the population has dyslexia. The actual numbers

Though children do not grow out of dyslexia, with appropriate interventions, hard work and support, they can overcome or manage associated reading problems.

+ Struggling to detect and manipulate sounds in words they hear + Having difficulty learning the sound symbol relationships essential for sounding out words + Relying on memorization, sight word reading or guessing when it comes to reading words + Becoming frustrated when reading or showing reluctance to read + Suffering from feelings of inadequacy or low self-confidence around peers + Displaying feelings of anxiety or depression, or acting out as a result of challenges

winston-school.org facebook.com/thewinstonschool instagram.com/thewinstonschool 214/691-6950 5707 Royal Lane, Dallas, TX 75229

Most kids with ADHD have deficits in some executive functions (planning, organizing time and materials, making decisions and learning from past mistakes, to name a few). However, not all children with executive function issues have ADHD. HELP THEM MEET THEIR POTENTIAL Children with dyslexia, ADHD and other learning differences may be underachieving in school, even though they are often bright and motivated. The goal for them, as it is for all children, is to meet their potential and support their educational needs as early as possible. The only way to know for sure if your child has a learning disability is through a comprehensive psychoeducational evaluation. This will shed light on your child’s challenges and strengths. That knowledge can open the door to the right resources, and you will be in a position to find an optimal learning environment to help your child thrive. At The Winston School, bright minds who learn differently® prepare for college and beyond through engaging, innovative, individualized learning led by exceptional faculty in a supportive environment. The school serves students in grades K–12, helping them work through obstacles while celebrating their individuality and creativity. In addition to rigorous core studies, Winston offers fine and performing arts, service learning, student-centered athletics and more ways for children to embrace their education experience. The school’s students are empowered to be confident, well-rounded and lifelong self-advocates. Winston’s Testing and Evaluation Center is open to all families seeking to understand their students’ learning styles and educational needs. Visit winston-school.org for more information and to connect with the campus’s renowned experts. dfwchild.com / may 2020

PROMOTED CONTENT | HOW-TO GUIDE

”New” Family Time: Together at Home “During this time of shelter-in-place and distance learning, my “co-workers” often refuse to wear pants. Human resources is aware it’s a problem, but they have to mow the grass and will talk to them at snacktime!” I’ve seen a string of these kinds of statements on social media recently, and I love them. They give comedic relief to the difficulty of working at home with children. Maybe your “co-workers” are not as focused on Zoom class as they should be, or they’re eating groceries faster than you can go on your next curbside run. It’s hard to maintain an 8 (+) hour work day while keeping your children entertained and educated for those same 8 hours.

the same time, we’re hungry around the same time, and we eat together. We all need quiet and wild time in our days. I need quiet for work, and kids need quiet for sleeping. On good days, those coincide. When my kids are ready for energy-filled playtime and if I've used my time well, I feel free to have some active time with them. When it is their time, I have to make sure I give them my full attention. I try to be intentional to make the most meaningful and memory-filled use of our time together. Intentionally Connect Our families are literally together 24/7, but that does not mean we connect. Just like before the stay-at-home order, we must intentionally connect with one another. Some great ways to do that are cooking and eating meals together, watching TV or movies together, family walks, or doing a project together like painting a room or doing chores – always remaining mindful of the large and small joys that each day brings. Give Kids Direction and Purpose At school, your kids have a routine that includes a purpose, getting out of their comfort zone, being polite, owning a classroom job, and getting along with

people. Now that everyone is at home for school, work, and leisure, attitudes can become a bit snippy. Consider giving them more ownership of household responsibilities. Here are some life skills to teach your children now that will bring rewards long term: setting and clearing the table, taking care of the laundry, organizing toys, taking care of pets, doing yard work, and making their beds. Reassess, Reallocate, and Release Yourself from Guilt I become anxious when people say, “we have more time than ever." That statement causes panic and shame for me because I immediately think of all the things I am not doing with "all my extra time." We still have the same 24 hours, but we have to reassess our time and understand that we can’t allocate as we did before. We are all navigating this strange new world together. Hang in there. Be gentle to yourself. We are going to make it. Be blessed, be strong, and be faithful – God’s got this! Michelle Dwyer, CFLE POPCS School Counselor

popcs.org

Follow Your Family’s Natural Rhythm We are a family that is constantly assessing our schedules. As a family we have a natural rhythm when we wake up, eat, sleep, play, and relax. The more we are in sync with each other, the less frustrated we are. For example, if our family wakes up at

facebook.com/popcseagles twitter.com/popcseagles instagram.com/popcseagles

How-To: Virtual Home Buying Program The housing industry is always moving and adapting to the changing economy. In light of the current situation, Shaddock Homes has created a brand new all-virtual home buying program to cater to our buyers. You can shop safely in your PJs! 1. VIRTUAL CONSULT – A sales manager will schedule a virtual appointment to learn what you are looking for in a home and put together a plan to find your dream home. 2. VIRTUAL TOURS – You will be taken on a virtual tour of any home you’d like to view. 3. VIRTUAL DESIGN STUDIO TOUR – You will be taken on a virtual tour of the Shaddock Homes Design Studio, where we can help you make your selections.

4. ELECTRONICALLY SIGN – You will be able to sign your contract electronically. 5. EARNEST MONEY DELIVERY – You’ll wire your earnest money check, or we will help coordinate delivery. 6. CLOSING TIME – We have two options for closings right now: curbside closings or mobile notary. 7. WELCOME HOME – You are officially a homeowner! Your sales manager will help coordinate key delivery.

ShaddockHomes.com pinterest.com/shaddockhomes facebook.com/shaddockhomes instagram.com/shaddockhomestx twitter.com/shaddockhomestx

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

Virtual Tips PREPARE.

Learn what types of plans and areas you’re looking for by visiting our website. We have 3D Virtual Tours of all our current models and endless photos of floorplans. DOWNLOAD ZOOM.

While we’re able to work through FaceTime, Skype and other virtual video platforms, the best one for screen sharing and interacting is Zoom! Our Sales Managers can help if you need instructions.

Let’s not Let’s not Party Party Meet up Meet up Bro-hug Bro-hug Defy Defy

Let’s Let’s

Stay put Stay put Binge watch Binge watch Video-happy-hour Video-happy-hour Save lives Save lives

Visit coronavirus.gov for the latest tips and information from the CDC. Visit coronavirus.gov for the latest tips and information from the CDC.

#AloneTogether #AloneTogether TOGETHER, WE CAN HELP SLOW THE SPREAD. TOGETHER, WE CAN HELP SLOW THE SPREAD.

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

BEST Summer EVER EPIC SUMMER PLANNING STARTS HERE

ONE UNFORGETTABLE SUMMER

SummerYou at All Saints’ 9700 Saints Circle Fort Worth, TX 76108 summeryou.org/fwc

With 233 camps to choose from over 11 weeks of summer for ages three – Grade 12, your family won’t be riding the boredom train. She wants to read and build robots, and he wants to start a business in the morning and play soccer in the afternoon. Find their common ground here. (Or find different camps in the same week to give them space from each other.) 11 weeks of preschool day camps 25+ sports camps led by All Saints’ Varsity coaches 16 business camps for the young entrepreneur 16 creative camps including painting, theatre and dance 56 STEAM camps to keep the wheels turning 5 courses for credit to free up the high school schedule

A one-stop shop for parents.

With extended day options and affordable, weekly camps all on one world-class campus, parents can rest easy knowing that the logistics - and their kids - are well taken care of. All Saints’ Episcopal School is a leading college preparatory day school in Fort Worth, Texas.

The Hockaday School 11600 Welch Rd. Dallas, TX 75229 hockaday.org/summer Contact information Melissa Curtis, Director of Auxiliary Programs 214-360-6534 mcurtis@hockaday.org

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

Summer at Hockaday is a fun-filled, engaging summer program for girls and boys located on the beautiful campus of The Hockaday School in Dallas. A variety of camp and class offerings provide campers ages three and up the opportunity to participate in day camps, art camps, cooking camps, coding camps, sewing camps, musical theater camps, science camps, sports camps, STEM camps, and much more! Campers can learn to ride a bike, create with LEGO®, brush up on reading and writing skills, learn to swim and play tennis, and even participate in a hip-hop dance class. These are just a few examples of what campers can experience as they try new things, make new friends, create positive memories, and grow in self-confidence each day at camp! Summer at Hockaday faculty and staff are eager and excited to welcome new and returning families to another fabulous summer!

BEST Summer EVER

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

CAMPS | TRAVEL | SPORTS | ARTS | STEM

Spend Your Day the Friar Way Summer at Bishop Lynch is adding a new Virtual Camp Clubhouse for Summer 2020! Designed for K–8th grade students, BL’s Virtual Camp Clubhouse features both recorded videos and live streaming instruction in the arts, athletics and academics.

Summer at Bishop Lynch 9750 Ferguson Rd. Dallas TX 75228 214-324-3607, Ext. 4175 SummeratBL.org

An all-access family pass for June and July is just $179. Learn more and register at www.SummeratBL.org. Plans for on-campus summer camps are dependent on the latest shelter-in-place and social distancing guidelines.

28 Exciting Science Day Camps!

Kids Grades Pre-K–7th Spark your children’s love of science this summer by enrolling them in fun and engaging science day camps! Your children are sure to have an unforgettable experience as they do hands-on activities and learn how science is used in everyday life. 5 new camp themes offered this year! Topics include rocketry, video game creation, robotics, veterinary medicine, meteorology, paleontology and many more.

Locations in Addison, Dallas, and Plano 214-530-5979 ClubSciKidzDallas.com Hello@ClubSciKidzDallas.com

Who: All Children Grades Pre-K–7th What: Science Day Camps When: June 15–August 7, 2020 • 9am–4pm, Mon–Fri (Optional Pre & Post Camp Hours Available) Where: Two Dallas locations, one Addison location, and one Plano location Cost: $245–$295/per week Don’t wait—many camps fill up quickly!

Virtual Camp Buzz: STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, Mathematics)

June 15th–July 3rd 2nd–7th Grade Students Cost: $175 each week All camps will be hosted online. Eastfield College 3737 Motley Dr., Mesquite, TX 75150 972-860-7114 4CommunityEd@dcccd.edu eastfieldcollege.edu/CampBuzz

• Week of June15th–June 19th: Natural Science • Week of June 22nd–June 26th: Performance Arts (Improv, Storytelling and Theatrical Design) • Week of June 29th–July 3rd: Computer Technology

ACTING & FILMMAKING CAMP For ages 7–17

214-638-0484 kdstudio.com

A pillar of the entertainment community for 40 years, KD continues to provide a trusted environment for developing confidence and performance skills for children of all ages. 2-week camps begin June 8 and run through August 7.

dfwchild.com / may 2020

BEST Summer EVER CAMPS | TRAVEL | SPORTS | ARTS | STEM

1409 S. Lamar St., Ste. 004 Dallas, TX 75215 214-421-7727 info@sparkdallas.org

SPARKDallas.org

SPARK! Creativity Summer Camp promises a fun-filled creative adventure that is a combo of exploration of our 6,000 square foot Climb, Crawl, Slide Sculpture and other cool interactive installations, as well as a unique opportunity to learn about the creative process, challenge and expression through numerous forms of art, science and technology guided projects. SPARK! offers a unique format with both play time and creative instruction in our 11,000 square foot warehouse, filled with wild experiential exhibits, as well as massive art installations, all made for play and learning. Some activities will be a collaborative experience, while others will be an individual make n’ take piece for the day.

Virtual Ballet Basics Join us online this summer for our annual program, specifically designed for students ages 3–6. Fort Worth School 1540 Mall Circle Fort Worth, TX 76116

Our virtual camp experience includes craft time, story time, and choreography to correlate with the theme of the week.

Dallas School 300 N. Coit Rd., Suite 231 Richardson, TX 75080

Enroll online at texasballettheater.org/summer-program

Texas School of the Arts 6025 Village Parkway, Edgecliff Village, TX 76134 Fort Worth Academy of Fine Arts 3901 S. Hulen St., Fort Worth, TX 76109 817-717-4544 artsacademics.org/summer

Whether your child is new to the world of arts training or is a seasoned art student, we know your camper will grow and learn with us and have fun doing it! Our highly qualified instructors will guide children toward their full potential as they develop their skills in one or more areas of the arts. Exposure to the arts can help shape children’s views of the world and their place in it. All camps run Monday through Friday with a showcase for parents at the end of the week. We offer multi-week discounts and affordable before and after care.

Ready for a fun one-of-a-kind summer experience? Your child is invited to join Ursuline Academy of Dallas Summer Campers in fun artistic, academic, and athletic enrichment activities designed to stimulate creativity and curiosity, spark innovation, and encourage collaboration.

4900 Walnut Hill Lane Dallas, TX 75229 469-232-1800 www.ursulinedallas.org

Adventure Camps are offered in areas such as STEM, Musical Theater, and Leadership Skills. Some Adventure Camps are exclusively for girls. Others are open to all middle school students. Athletic Camps include Basketball, Lacrosse, Soccer, Softball, Rowing, and Volleyball. Camps are available for elementary and middle school girls. Visit www.ursulinedallas.org/summerprograms to learn more.

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

BEST Summer EVER CAMPS | TRAVEL | SPORTS | ARTS | STEM

The start of summer doesn’t mean the end of learning ... Brookhaven College has moved its Summer Youth Program online. You can bring the magic of summer camp home with activities and classes to keep students challenged and learning all summer long. 3939 Valley View Ln. Farmers Branch, TX 75244 972-860-4715 • bhcinfo@dcccd.edu brookhavencollege.edu/youthprograms

2430 Hwy. 39, Hunt TX 78024 830-238-4650 RagsdaleFamilyCamps.com

• App Development • Photography • Python Coding • Creative Writing • Leadership • Digital Photography FULL STEAM AHEAD! Two- and four-week options for traditional camps (boys and girls separate) on the beautiful Guadalupe River. Ages 6–16. Family style dining, home cooked food, worldwide, limited enrollment, personable staff, role model counselors and fun programs! Instruction-oriented, offering more than 50 activities, including sports, horseback riding and swimming. Also intangibles—self-confidence, teamwork, leadership, individual identity and dealing with challenges. Ragsdale family owned and operated. Stewart est. 1924, Heart est. 1953.

Summer Camp begins in June June 1–August 31, 2020 • Camp Ages: Entering 1st–7th Grade

White Rock North School

9727 White Rock Trail, Dallas, TX 75238 214-348-7410 whiterocknorthschool.com

What makes this camp so awesome? Every day starts with “Morning Meet-Up” and every week ends with a blow-out event! Our kid-friendly Activity Center is the ultimate hub for indoor fun! We have flat-screen TVs for XBox Kinect, movies and interactive games! A comfy reading nook, board games, game tables and hands-on projects are just a few of our extra features! Campers will also get to experience our Outdoor Learning Center, Roller Skating Rink, Indoor Swimming Pool, and Performing Arts activities! Children will have “Bring your own device” time each day, and also daily reading time to keep their brains active throughout the summer months.

Weekly Camps June 1st–August 7th

Challenge Island West Plano/North Dallas 17630 Davenport Rd. #103 • 469-779-7844 challenge-island.com/westplano-northdallas

• Weekly 9am–1pm ($200) • Aftercare until 4pm ($100) • Two age groups: 4–6 yo and 7–12 yo • Themes include USA, UTube, Slime, Wizards, Space, Dolls, Mine-craft and more • STEAM Challenges, activities, crafts, games • SLIME every week • Wacky Water Wednesdays • Pizza Fridays (provided by Challenge Island)

Camp Clayton 2020 May 26th–August 7th • Registration Opens March 2nd Register by May 1st and receive 50% off registration fee! Up to a $45 Value.

817/923-9888 claytonyouth.org

Sibling Discounts & Financial Assistance Available Preparing Children For Great Lives Through Social Emotional Learning Serving Keller, Fort Worth, Crowley schools Check out our Specialty Camps! Camp hours Monday–Friday, 6:30am–6:30pm Call us today 817/923-9888. Visit us online: Claytonyouth.org

SUMMER CAMP FOR ADULTS 18+

Residential • Day Program • Camp • Respite 20250 FM 619, Elgin, TX 78621 512-856-0128 DownHomeRanch.org

Ranch Camp is designed for people with disabilities to build confidence by encouraging social connections and supporting the development of new interests. Traditional camp activities are implemented by trained staff, maintaining a 1 to 5 staff/volunteer to camper ratio. • Hayrides • Kayaking • Farm Animals • Archery • Fishing • … and more! Located in Elgin, TX, just east of Austin at a year-round residential community for adults with disabilities.

dfwchild.com / may 2020

BEST Summer EVER

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

CAMPS | TRAVEL | SPORTS | ARTS | STEM

SPLASH INTO SUMMER AT ESD!

The Episcopal School of Dallas 4100 Merrell Rd., Dallas, TX 75229 214-353-5854 esdallas.org/summercamp

Summer fun for everyone, ages 3 and up. Weekly programs offered May–August, 8:00a.m.–6:00 p.m. There’s truly something for everyone, from arts to academics, sports, STEM and most importantly, making new friends and having FUN! Questions? Contact Mike Schneider, Director of Summer Programs at schneiderm@esdallas.org

17630 Davenport Rd. Suite 102 Dallas, TX 75252 972-931-1933 • jsartstudio.com

SUMMER ART J’S ART Paint, Draw, Sculp All Summer Long! Kid Camps Ages 5 – 13 Different themes every week. Morning camps 9am–12pm and Afternoon camps 1–4pm Art Skills Camps ages 10+ Introduction to different art media Afternoons 1–4pm Sewing, Teen and Adult Classes too! Check our website for complete list of Camps and Classes for times and prices!

THE KNIGHT SCHOOL SUMMER CHESS CAMP! Daily chess puzzlers for prizes and daily tactics to learn! Have your breakthrough at chess camp with our great network of friends.

theknightschool.com

June 29–July 3, 2020 • 1–4pm July 20–24, 2020 • 1–4pm CARE Church 1504 E. Campbell Rd., Richardson, TX 75081 July 20–22, 2020 • 9am–12pm SLPS Community Center 1910 N. Britain Rd., Irving, TX 75061

Learn! Grow! Create!

Plano, Fairview, Frisco, and Dallas NTPA.org/camps 972-422-2575

This summer you can transform into a superhero, a princess, or your favorite storybook character. Our morning, afternoon and full-day camps bring your favorite childhood stories to life on stage. With summer learning opportunities for ages 5 to 18, there’s a spot for everyone to learn from our professional directors, actors, and singers who have worked everywhere from Broadway to L.A. Perfect for new actors!

Want more camps? From sports and STEM to dance and art–we’ve got them all! Explore our not-so-secret weapon, the online directory, at dfwchild.com.

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

REMOTE LEARNING? â&#x201E;˘ GO PUBLIC IN PLACE.

These days, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all homeschoolers. Students, teachers and parents alike. To help keep everyone informed and engaged, KERA has curated a wide range of educational content. Our At-Home Learning program provides resources and toolkits for pre-K through 12 at no cost to you. Visit kera.org/learn to make the most of your at-home learning.

KERA LEARN!

confessions

MOM TRUTHS ILLUSTRATION MARY DUNN

AFTER A LONG DAY OF BATTLING WITH MY TODDLER, I STARTED TO CRY. I WAS FRUSTRATED, TIRED AND SAD WITH HOW QUARANTINE WAS AFFECTING MY FAMILY. MY TODDLER CAME OVER, PUT HIS HAND ON MY FACE AND TOLD ME I WAS HIS BEST FRIEND.” —LAUREN, FORT WORTH

may 2020 / dfwchild.com

CO M P I L E D BY E M I LY Y E A R W O O D

At karate class, I didn’t notice my son’s pants didn’t fit right until, with every kick, his pants fell down completely.” —MARIA, HASLET

“When my baby started trying to speak, my heart was full when he kept saying ‘Mama’ over and over. I was so proud until I realized he wasn’t calling his mommy when he said ‘Mama’—he was trying to call our dog, Marsha.”

“If our toddler is having a hard time, we calmly state, ‘It looks like you need a moment.’ The other day I was feeling frustrated, and he bent down, looked at me and said, ‘Mom, it looks like you need a moment.’ He wasn’t wrong!”

—JULIANA, DALLAS

—EMILY, MCKINNEY

WHEN WE VISIT FAMILY IN AUSTRALIA, MY MOTHERIN-LAW ALWAYS HAS A SUPPLY OF MAGNUM ICE CREAM BARS FOR OUR SON. WE TELL HIM THAT AUSTRALIA IS THE ONLY PLACE WHERE THESE ARE MADE. FOR NOW, HE BELIEVES IT.”

—ERIN, DALLAS

Got a funny parenting moment you’d like to share? We’d love to hear from you. Send it to editorial@dfwchild.com.

We recently got my 5-year-old’s test scores back, which were higher than we expected. He noticed the attention he was getting from being ‘super smart’ and told me, ‘I’m smart enough to know that you’re not wearing a bra.’” —JENNIFER, BURLESON

Health A healthy North Texas is imperative for thriving communities. Our ongoing mission is to provide you the stories and content that not only help you live your best life, but impact your day-to-day.

Find your community check-up at

Real.

Journalism.

In uncertain times, you can be certain of this: Your generosity will make a difference. Today, thanks to donors like you, The Salvation Army is helping those affected by COVID-19. We are there for the most vulnerable in our community. For those whose wages are gone, for those who need food, for those who have no place to call home, and for so many others who desperately need help and hope in this time of crisis. To see how you can continue to make a difference in your community, give today at SalvationArmyUSA.org.

DFWChild May 2020

Articles inside

Routines

Mom Next Door / Susie Robb

Bad Medicine?