Confessions
CO M P I L E D BY E M I LY Y E A R W O O D ILLUSTRATION MARY DUNN
Mommy Truths
hey, you’re not the only sleep-deprived mom out there “I enthusiastically yelled, ‘Hey, baby!’ from my car. A random WHEN MY guy twisted his neck back so quickly. To his disappointment, I YOUNGEST WAS was greeting my baby boy in his car seat while opening the back 1 MONTH OLD, door.” —JENNIFER, BURLESON
I FILLED UP A BOTTLE WITH SUGAR-FREE COFFEE CREAMER INSTEAD OF LIQUID BABY FORMULA, THEN HEATED IT UP AND FED IT TO MY NEWBORN. I FREAKED OUT AND CALLED POISON CONTROL, WHICH REFERRED ME TO MY PEDIATRICIAN, WHO THEN LAUGHED AT ME!”
“My baby was in front of our media console, and a fully protected cord was poking out. He started convulsing and let out a yell. I panicked and convinced everyone that he got electrocuted. We rushed to the hospital only to find out four hours later that he was constipated and the convulsing I witnessed was just him pushing poop out.” —LINDA, DALLAS
—HOLLY, ARLINGTON
“Every time my son gets mad at something, he scrunches his face up and says ‘EEERRRRRRR,’ pretending to be a dinosaur. I can’t help but laugh every time. It’s so stinking cute.” —ELIZABETH, RICHARDSON
“My son has always been a big boy. When he learned to walk, he would swing his right arm to help him move faster. It made me crack up every time.” —HEATHER, FRISCO
After having my second, I’m pretty sure that my husband wanted to commit me. At one point I was so sleep deprived that I was having staring competitions with myself in the mirror.” —ALLI, DALLAS
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baby | 2020
