Ra l e i g h , N o r t h C ar o lin a ( 919 ) 4 1 0 - 6 8 1 2 www . di a mo n d d iv am ag .c o m Happy New Year Ladies and welcome to 2016! I am so excited about what this year has planned for all of us Diamond Diva Women. Just like in years pass Diamond Diva Magazine is all about shinning a light on women doing great things in busine ss, their communities and in ministry. Throughout this last year many changes have taken place and the magazine has began to evolve into something that is amazining and ever changing for the good of all women pressing their way in business and in life. As always these women are business women, mothers, women of God and tru ly Diamond Diva’s to the fullest defintion of the word. Thank you for coming back with us for another year and for your continued support, it really means alot to us both. Renee & Martin Dawkins
Disclaimer: Diamond Diva Magazine is published monthly. Any reproduction of any part of this publication without written permission from the publisher prior to doing so. Diamond Diva Magazine does not accept responsibility for st atements made by individuals featured or advertisers. Comments concerning this publication should be submitted to the editor by email at info@ diamonddivamag.com Diamond Diva Magazine’s publisher, staff and other persons involved in the creation, production or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or it’s content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential or punitive damages arising out of the magazine.
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Wh y D o I G e t S o U ps e t w it h My Par tne r?
Q : I n eed som e rel a ti o ns h i p help. Whi le I love my h u s band with all my heart, so met imes it ’ s just so frust ra t i n g bein g marri ed to h i m . When I feel that he’s i g nor in g me, I get so upse t , an d h e’s usual l y surp r i s ed by the intensity of m y reaction. Why do I get s o upset with him? Signed I n L ov e an d Lonel y A : Th an k s f or the quest i o n , Lynn. Here are some t ho u gh t s t h at mi ght hel p sh e d ligh t on your e xp erie n c e: I t is extrem ely di stressi ng t o f eel as if your words and a ct i o n s h av e no i mpac t ( o r n o lon ger matter) to y o ur sp o use/partner—to t h i n k that someone whom
you l o v e de e pl y i s n o l o n ger e n ga ge d fu l l y i n t h e relat i o n s h i p o r i n t e r e s t e d in wh a t ’ s i m p o r t a n t t o y o u can b e e x t r e m e l y p a i n f u l . Whe n y o u f e e l l i k e y o u r spouse /pa r t n e r i s n o t being r e s p o n s i v e t o y o u ( a n d to y o u r n e e ds ), t wo o u tcom e s b e c o m e l i k e l y : 1. In i t i a l l y , y o u m a y “ u p the a n t e ” i n o r d e r t o h a v e some k i n d o f i m pa ct o n your s p o u s e / p a r t n e r - - t h i s mi gh t i n v o l v e ye l l i n g, bec omi n g m o r e pr o v o cati ve, e l e v a t i n g yo u r e m oti ona l r e s po n se s , a ct i n g i n wa ys t h a t a r e u n ch a rac ter i st i c fo r yo u (i n a ttach m e n t l i t e r a t u r e t h e s e type s o f r e a ct i o n s a r e
ca l l e d “ pr o t e s t” b e havi o r s — yo u r pr o te s ts a re a r e fl e ct i o n o f l os ing s om ething extremely important to you; this can be the love of your partner, the se cu r i t y o f yo u r re la tionship, or both). Is it fair to say that at some po i n t m o s t o f u s w ou ld rea ct n e ga t i v e l y ( p rote s t) if we pe r ce i v e d ou r s p ou s e / partner to be unavailable and unresponsive to our needs? 2 . W h e n yo u f e e l ig nore d for extended periods of t i m e , yo u r s e ns e of d espa i r ca n t u r n into f e e li n gs o f h o pe l e s s ne s s — y ou gi v e u p o n t ry ing to e n ga ge yo u r s pou s e / p a rtne r
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www.diamonddivamag.com a n d b egin to retreat (this is a self-pro t e c t i v e b e h a v i o r — i n e s s e n c e , y o u ’ r e c u t t i n g y o u r l o s e s ) . This may take the form of indi f f e r e n c e , w i t h d r a w a l b e h a v i o r s , a n d d i s e n g a g i n g f r o m t he relation shi p i n g eneral (and t h e r e s po n si bi l i t i e s t h a t a r e a pa r t o f t h e re lationship). T y p ica lly a p rot est reac ti on i sn’ t rando m : P r o t e st be h a v i o r s (ge t t i n g r e a l l y u p s e t w he n y o u r part n er isn ’t respondi ng i n predi c t a bl e wa ys t h a t m a k e yo u fe e l s e cu r e i n the re la t i o n s h i p ) occur in a parti c u l ar c ontex t ; a n d t h e t r i gge r i n g e v e n t i s u s u a l l y fe e ling a nxi o u s a b out losing the security of your r e l a t i o n s h i p . R e l a t i o nship Help: Let’s break down th i s r e a c t i o n : A n un r esp o n siv e/di seng aged/ u ni nterest e d pa r t n e r t r i gge r s i n cr e a s e d a n x i e t y and w orry i n t h e o t h er p artner, w ho then attempt s t o r e e n ga ge t h e u n r e s po n si v e pa r t n e r ( f or e x a mp le , “We n eed to tal k ,” or “What’s wr o n g? ”) a n d i f t h e o t h e r pa r t n e r i s s till not re s p o n s i ve, protest behaviors are trigge r e d . Your pr o t est b eh avi ors (whether y ou r pr o t e st be h a v i o r s a r e pe r ce i v e d a s n a gg ing , p e st e r i n g , yelling, or some kind of increas e d e m o t i o n a l i t y l i k e a n g e r ) a r e i n e f f e c t a t t e m p t s t o t r y and correc t the problem—ideal l y i t ’ s a n a t t e n t i o n - g r a b b i n g r e a c t i o n t h a t w i l l l e t y o u r s p ouse know that something is w r o n g t h a t n e e d s f i x i n g . T h i n k o f p rot est behavi ors as an al arm s o u n di n g i n a n e ffo r t t o gr a b yo u r pa rtne r’ s a tt e n t i o n to what n eeds to be addresse d . M a r i t a l /relationship problems can aris e w h e n t h e s e t e m p o r a r y r e a c t i o n s ( f e e l i n g o n e ’ s s p o u s e /p artn er is u nc onc erned and u n r e spo n s i v e ) a r e n o t a ddr e s se d a n d bec om e in g r a i n e d patterns. I h o p e this sheds some light on why y o u s e e m t o g e t s o u p s e t w i t h y o u r s p o u s e ( o r w h y w e a l l get upset with our spouse/pa r t n e r a t t i m e s ) . W h e n e v e r w e a l l o w a l o v e d o n e s p e c i a l access to our hearts, feeling i g n o r e d b y t h i s p e r s o n i s g o i n g t o f e e l l i k e a m a j o r deal.
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St op P a n i c A tta c k s N a t u r a lly to breathe correctl y. W h e n panic attacks arise you r b r e a t h i n g becomes faster and s h a l l o w e r . It’s a sign of the fig h t o r f l i g h t response getting tri g g e r e d . B y taki ng power ov er y o u r bre ath ing by taking exte n d e d d e e p breaths you’ll be ab l e t o s e i z e control preventing a n a n x i e t y attack. It is essenti a l t o m a k e deep breathing e x e r c i s e s a part of your everyd a y r e g i m e n becaus e thi s wi l l he l p y o u become a more sere n e p e r s o n and l es s at ri s k from th e sti m ulus that bring about p a n i c a n d anxi ety.
If y o u w a n t t o u n d erstand how to s t o p p a n i c a t t a cks naturally th e n i t so u n ds like y o u a r e pla n ni ng t o g o t h e s elf- h elp o p tio n i n s t e a d o f m aking use of p r e s cr i p t io n dr u g s t o ma n a g e y our an x ie t y a n d pa n ic. An xiet y a t t a c k s c a n b e halted and th e r e a r e in c r e dible a ll n a t u ra l m e a n s o f a ccomplishing th i s . P a n i c a n d a n xiety attacks st a r t o ff i n t h e b r ain and they a r e c r e a t e d i n t h e area of the b r a i n r e f e r r e d t o a s amygdala. Th i s r e a l l y i s r a t h e r like a switch th at tu r n s a n x ie t y a n d o ff. C o n t r o l l i n g t h e amygdala is th e v i t a l t h in g t o ma st er in g p r e c i s e ly h o w t o cea se pa n ic a n d a n x i e t y a t t a c ks naturally. Pa n i c a n d a n x i e t y believe it or no t ac c o m p lis h a useful pur p o s e a s t h e i r f u n c t ion is to alert y ou of a p p r o a c h ing t h r ea t so th at y o u c a n d o so met h in g t o a s s u r e y o u r o w n survival. This p r o c e s s i s n a m e d the fight or fl i ght r e s p o n se . P a nic a n d a n x ie t y s y m p t o m s h appen once th i s p r o c e s s b e c o mes t o o ea s i l y i nd uc e d d u e t o o ver excit eme nt of t h is r e sp o nse. The go o d n e w s is t h a t pa n ic a t -
tacks and anxiousness really are a beh a vio r al pattern whi ch you ac quired over time when you are in contact with stressful stimulus. Any kin d o f behav i or that i s acqui red ma y be u nl earned as wel l . Thi s i s how to prevent panic disorders n a t ur a lly. A l though there are natur a l cur es for pani c and anxi ety at tacks such as natural herbs they simply o ff er you s hort-l i v ed reduction because the secret is unlearn this behavior rather than manage it usin g d r ugs or herbal treatments . Learning how to overcome your anxiety and panic necessitates fin d in g o ut how to do a few s i mple t ech ni ques that can s top thi s pattern. I t is easy to avoid anxiety and panic attacks as soon you feel a n xio us by performi ng ps ychol ogi ca l exer ci s es whi ch hav e been i n tended to retrain the amygdala. Once you are in the position to stop t h e a mygdal a i ni ti ati ng pani c and anxiety attacks this ultimately turns into a brand new behavior which changes the previous behavior where panic and anxiety attacks a r e br o ught on eas i l y.
The mos t benefi ci al ste p y o u can take with regard t o e n d i n g panic attacks natu r a l l y w o u l d be to follow a train i n g c o u r s e that will take you th r o u g h e a c h of the approaches y o u m u s t learn to bring your a n x i e t y a n d panic under contro l . T h e v e r y bes t hel p I hav e fou n d w i th regard to learning h o w t o e n d anxiety attacks na t u r a l l y a r e The Linden Method a n d P a n i c A way. They are easy to u n de r s tand s el f-hel p pro du c ts c re ated for assisting yo u t o s i m p l y triumph over any kin d o f p a n i c and anxiety disorder . M y s e l f a n d also 1000’s of other i n d i v i d u a l s hav e found thes e p ro grams to be very effective m e t h o d s f o r teaching the best w a y t o s t o p anxi ety and pani c a ttac k s n at ural l y.
The most essential approaches to g et t in g t o know how to s top pani c attacks naturally is finding out how
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T h e dream of Ti ea W hi t aker w as brought to t he C harlotte area and was a huge success. Shop a h o l i c C i t y p r esent s The Gl am Shop! The Ul ti m ate B eaut y Ex p e r i en ce . Shopaholic City is all about supporting ind e p e n d e n t b u sinesses. Si x vend ors w ere show cased and t ook part in the success of this event. Tiea ’s strong belief that Shopaholic is not j u s t a b r a n d b u t a movement through the l i f t i ng of com m uni t i e s and businesses was successfully shown on t h i s n i g h t through the Shopaholic City shopping eve n t . Stay t uned f or f ut ure show s.
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Ministry on the Go with Vi o l e t P i e r Learning all about Violet Pier of Tyler Texas, media broadcaster with VPN Ideal Television. VPN (vpiernetwork.com) broadcasts on cable channel 18, daily in the Tyler/Whitehouse Texas area. VPN also broadcasts on cable channel 21 in the Frankston and Chandler Texas area. Our broadcasts are available in more than 100,000 households. Our programming is focused on uplifting the entire community. Many churches in the community are broadcast as well as local businesses. VPN is concerned about our community and knows the importance of providing knowledge about every aspect of life. It is our desire to be a source of media that is trusted, timely and effective. We currently broadcast 105 shows a week. VPN also has internet ra dio kingdom1radio.com which streams 24/7. All Nations TV (ALLNATIONSTV.COM) is a Christian and community based 24/7 streaming network. We also have a channel on Roku under the Religion category. All Nations TV has 4 partners of which I am 1. We started this company looking at the future of media and how it was changing. ALLNATIONSTV.COM is available on pc’s, laptops, tablets ,phones and roku . I like to think of it as “ministry on the go”.
What is your greatest accomplishment about the b us i nes s y ou a r e i n? M y g r e a t e s t a c c o m p l i s h m e n t i s the fact that I am still standing. I have had many ups a n d do wn s a n d h a v e o pe r a t e d o n fa i th to c ontinu e to spread the gospel through media both televised a n d v i a t h e r a di o . I l o o k a t t h i s e n de a vor a s a f lu ke o r G o d’ s se n se o f h u m o r be ca u s e I wou ld not ha ve imagined doing this 6 years ago. My background is n o t i n m e di a .
Tell us about you, what motivates you, who is she, mother, wife, business entrepreneur?
Violet Pier is the eldest of nine children, brought up in a strict Christian family background. Preachers, teachers, prayer warriors run in my family. I have had a connection with God from my youth although, as I got older I began to stray a bit into the world and finally realized that my best place was in the loving and caring arms of Father God. I had my son Dezmond at age 17 and married his father at age 18 and was married for 13 years. After graduating from Lufkin High School, I worked on the line at a restaurant and later became the salad lady (the main person to prepare all the food for the salad bar). I worked as a waitress and decided to go to Dental Assisting School it is ironic how I got into the profession I actually took one of my cousins to the school to check it out she never attended but I ended up enrolling and getting a certificate and graduated at the top of the class. I worked as a Dental Assistant for a while and later became an Office Manager. While
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www.diamonddivamag.com working as an Office Manager I attended Mountain View College and took prerequisite courses for a Bachelor’s Degree which I received at Dallas Baptist University where I also attended Graduate Studies obtaining a Double Master’s Degree in Accounting and Management. I worked for several property management companies and it seems that was going to be my career path. However, remember the fluke or God’s Sense of Humor would take me from the big city of Dallas and move me to the small city of Tyler so that I could be closer to the ministry of New Beginnings Worship Center which my brother Curtis R. Durham, Sr., Pastors. My motivation is Jesus Christ that is pure and simple I realize that without him I could do nothing but fail. I feel that I can be an inspiration to a lot of women both young and old. I have gone through so many challenges from relationships to careers. But I find that through it all it has made me stronger. The one thing that I would encourage any woman out there that has a story of how God brought you out in the midst of all kinds of situations is to share your testimony with others to provide hope. Because God cares about them as much as he cares for you. My biggest joy right now is my 1 ½ year old grand girl Deziraye, she also motivates me to do better because I want her to be proud of her “G” even when I am gone to glory I want her to have fond memories and to follow the example that I will leave for her by the grace of God.
What is your inspiration and driving force? My inspiration is life itself, the fact that I arise each day is enough. Maybe it is the fact that I am getting older and I am hearing and seeing more death
around me like never before. There are promises that I have made that I still have not fulfilled and until I complete the task I will be forever driven. Funny thing is as you complete one task there seems to be another task waiting for you. What is the best advice you’ve ever
terday was not ideal as long as you have breath in your body there is another chance to get it right. What do you do to relax and unwind? First of all, can you define and or explain those terms (LOL)? I like to watch movies when given the chance and also enjoy reading. I am a night owl and am not at all a morning person. Tell us something about you that people would be surprised to know. While working as a Dental Assistant I actually had the opportunity to assist a dentist as he performed a root canal on a gorilla at the Dallas Zoo. Mind you the gorilla was heavily sedated but when he coughed it sounded like a man.
been given? To accept Jesus as my personal savior has to be by far the best advice that I have been given on a spiritual level. The other advice is to do your best and don’t be so hard on yourself. God can give us grace so in turn we need to also share that grace with ourselves and others. You are never too old to learn or make changes, so what if yes-
What advice would you give to a young woman just starting out or have a desire to go in business but have no idea what to do with her hopes and dreams? Be prayerful and ask God to guide your steps. Be prepared to face any challenge that comes your way. Be patient, although we live in a microwave society some things take time. Be encouraged if you can dream it chances are you can achieve it.
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Can a n U n b e l i e v e r b e a p a rt of Your W o rs h i p P r o gr am ? A s a wo rsh ip leader i t w i l l b e significant that you s i m ply con t empl ate the q ue stion o f whether or n o t an unbeli ever might b e a part of your worship p r o gram . I’m typi c al l y a s k e d t h is q ue sti on w hen t w o sit uation s happen i n a c hurch: there are few t e a m m em b ers obtai na b le f or t h e w orshi p prog r a m, and the person w h o just isn ’t a Chri sti an i s a v e ry p ro f icient i ndi vi dua l . You probably have a la r g e ch urch w i th many p r o f icient musicians then t h e q uest ion c ou l d not
hav e a n e ffe ct o n yo u a s muc h , b u t i f y o u r t e a m i s sma l l a n d a v e r y g i f t e d mu si ci a n o r s i n ge r i s i n the w i n g s , a r e y o u a b l e t o willin g l y a c c e p t t h e m i n t o your w o r s h i p p r o g r a m w i t h a c le a r co n sci e n ce ? What i s t h e W o r sh i p P r o gram Re a l l y A bo u t ? Whe n c o n s i d e r i n g y o u r team , i t ’ s e s s e n t i a l t o c ea se fo r a se co n d a n d ask yo u r se l f wh a t t h e wo rship p r o g r a m i s a l l a b o u t . I s i t a bo u t h a v i n g a n i mport a n t s o u n d , o r b e i n g prof e s s i o n a l o r r o c k i n g
t h e co n gr e ga tion’ s s oc ks o ff? Or i s i t ab ou t le adi n g yo u r ch u rc h f a m ily r i g h t i n t o a de e p e r , m o r e meaningful relationship with the Lord? I m i gh t co u n s e l to y ou t h a t t h e wo r s hip p rog ra m m u s t b e a bo u t l e a d i n g p e o p l e t o G od i n w o r s h i p . C e r t a i n , we w a nt to b e pr o fe ss i o n a l a nd to p lay a n d s i n g t o a hig h and exquisite standard, but I m i gh t su gge s t tha t the s e a r e se co n da ry c onc e rns i n yo u r wo r sh ip p rog ram . A wo r s h i p pr og ra m is a
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www.diamonddivamag.com s p i r i tual occasion, not a live perfo r m a n c e , s o t h e c o n c e p t a n o n - b e l i e v e r c a n b e p a r t o f yo ur t eam i s u nqu esti onabl y o u t o f ph a se wi t h t h e go a l s o f yo u r wo r s hip p ro g r a m team. W h o Qualifies Somebody to Take H a l f i n t h e W o r s h i p P r o g r a m ? I n g ro up s t h at I ’ ve l ead, one of ma n y co r e r e qu i r e m e n t s o f cr e w m e m be rs is tha t t h e y kn ow J esus and have a rel ati o n sh i p wi t h H i m . N o n - be l i e v e r s ca n u n dou b te d ly p l a y effectively, sing well, and do u b t l e s s p e r f o r m p r o p e r l y , h o w e v e r t h e y h a v e n ’ t a n y idea of the very central conc e p t o f t h e w o r s h i p p r o g r a m : n e a r e r c o m m u n i o n w i t h the Lord. Yes, we wish it played a n d s u n g b r i l l i a n t l y , h o w e v e r w e d o n o t w a n t t o c o m promise the spirit of our worshi p p r o g r a m s i m p l y t o s o u n d a b i t b e t t e r . O n e of the first main worship prog r a m t e a m s I a s s e m b l e d f e a t u r e d a n e x c e l l e n t d r u mmer who was not a Christian, b u t w h o p r o v e d t o b e a d e m a n d i n g a n d s l i g h t l y a g g ressiv e team member. We had a ba ck u p dr u m m e r wh o wa s r e l e ga t e d t o p e rc u ss i o n , and who was just happy to be a p a r t o f t h e w o r s h i p p r o g r a m a t a l l . W h e n t h e u n b elieving drummer didn’t trouble t o s h o w u p t o o b s e r v e t w i c e o v e r b e c a u s e h e m e n tio n ed h e was ok , I appoi nted t h e C h r i st i a n gu y. H e co u l d n o t pl a y a s p rop e rly , h o w ever he had an amazing spirit a n d u n d e r s t o o d w h a t h u m i l i t y a n d s e r v i n g w i t h i n t h e worsh ip p rogram was al l abou t. C a n t h e Worshi p Prog ram Be an I ns t r u m e n t T o Re a ch T e a m M e m be r s ? I n m ost fashionable churches, the p r e s s u r e i s o n w o r s h i p l e a d e r s t o s o u n d gr e a t a n d a c t professional (and this implies a c c e p t i n g t a l e n t e d p e o p l e w h o s e l i v e s s h o u l d n o t p r o per with the Lord) and I conside r t h a t w o r s h i p l e a d e r s h a v e t o m a k e a s t a n d i n t h e i r wo rsh ip prog ram. I have hea r d o f n o n - be l i e v e r s be co m i n g C h r i st i a ns d u e to t h e i r in v olv em ent w i thi n the worshi p ba n d, bu t I do n ’ t r e a l l y fe e l t h a t t h a t i s the w ay w e should be operating. Why not l e a d t h e m t o t h e L o r d f i r s t ( w h e n t h e r e i s n ’ t a n y e g o op p o rt un ity at stake), then i nt r o du ce t h e m t o t h e e n t i r e i de a o f wo r s hip , b oth p e r s onal and corporate. U s i n g worship team involvement to w i n a p r o f i c i e n t u n b e l i e v e r t o C h r i s t i s a b i t l i k e m a r rying an unbeliever to witness t o t h e m a n d l e a d t h e m t o C h r i s t . I t ’ s a c r o s s t h e w r o ng way! It’s troublesome to seiz e a t r u e s p i r i t o f w o r s h i p w h e n t h e w o r k f o r c e t o y o u r worship program is unequally y o k e d ! S o , worship leaders and pastors, le t u s m a k e a s t a n d f o r w h a t i s r i g h t a n d e n s u r e o u r wo rsh ip cre w i s foc u sed on the t r u e a ct i v i t y o f l e a di n g fo l k s t o C h r i st . W e m u s t w o r s h ip in S p iri t and i n real i ty , not si m pl y h a v e sk i l l e d m u s i c a n d pr e se n t a t i on. D on’ t p e r m it yo ur worshi p prog ram to be h e l d t o r a n so m by t a l e n t e d n o n - be l i e v ers .
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