Ra l e i g h , N o r t h C ar o lin a ( 919 ) 4 1 0 - 6 8 1 2 www . di a mo n d d iv am ag .c o m The Holiday Season is upon us! The clocks have ticked over and the year is just about over. I must say this has been a whirlwind of a year that I must admit I’m happy to see go. Havi ng a bout with depression and Fighting to get my Happi ness back I have realized the importance even more on shin ning a light on women doing awesome things, still yet while they are alive! As woman we go through so much but we still continue to smile pass the the pain. Diamond Diva Magazine has always and will continue to be a platform to Empower and Uplift Women. Just like in years pass Diamond Diva Magazine is all about shinning a light on women doing great things in business, their communities and in ministry. Throughout this last year many changes have taken place and the magazine has began to evolve into something that is amazining and ever changing for the good of all women pressing their way in business and in life. As always these women are business women, mothers, women of God and tru ly Diamond Diva’s to the fullest defintion of the word. Thank you for coming back with us for another year and for your continued support, it really means alot to us both. Sheleta Renee’
Disclaimer: Diamond Diva Magazine is published monthly. Any reproduction of any part of this publication without written permission from the publisher prior to doing so. Diamond Diva Magazine does not accept responsibility for st atements made by individuals featured or advertisers. Comments concerning this publication should be submitted to the editor by email at info@ diamonddivamag.com Diamond Diva Magazine’s publisher, staff and other persons involved in the creation, production or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or it’s content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential or punitive damages arising out of the magazine.
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Sur vi vi ng T h e Holiday By: A s i a Schm i d t
taking the time to reflect on our personal lives and how the things w e e x p e r i e n c e h av e a f f e c t e d u s . R e f l e cti o n i s a l s o u s e f u l t o b e g in i d e n ti f y i n g y o ur de s ir e d lif e s t yle w h i ch f o cus e s o n h ap p in e s s .
P u m p k in sp ic e la ttes over a warm f ire , la u ghter f ills t he room, smi l es o f j oy a nd wa r m h ug s wai t t o emb ra c e y o u . T he most wond erful t i m e of the year has arrived. The ho lid a y s. E ver y o ne i s i n a g reat m o o d; this is the season where d e p ressio n mo ment ari l y d i sap p e ar s, a nd lif e r esembl es t he perf e c t ho lida y p ic ture. In a perfect wo r ld, this wo uld exi st . Unfort u na te ly , we do n’t li ve i n a perfect w o r l d; we live in the real world, a n d for some people, that means the ho lida y s a r e not t he most w o n derful time of the year. In f a c t , it can be the most horrible t i m e of the year. So h o w do es o ne survi ve t he hol i d a y s ? What do you say to the sing le la dy who has spent one to o m a ny ho lidays al one and is g iv ing up ho p e t hat l ove wi l l c om e her wa y ? What d o you say to the wif e who has just wat ched y e a r s of marriage end in a bitter d i v o r ce? How does one find the s t r e n gth to make it through the r e a lity tha t the hol i d ays may t ri gg e r mo m ents o f sad ness? T h e way in which one chooses to c o p e will a lways be uni que a n d individual to one’s preferred m e t hod of coping, however here a f e w tips that can help. 1. B e ho nest with yoursel f. Know tha t t her e is a dif f erence bet ween a d m i tting the emot i on of what
you ma y be e x pe r i e n ci n g a n d being c o n s u m e d b y t h e f e e l i n g . By ack n o w l e d g i n g w h a t y o u f e e l , i t ope n s th e d o o r f o r y o u to be gin se e k i n g w h a t y o u n e e d . Y o u can’t g e t h e l p i f y o u ’ r e i n d e n i a l . The rea l i ty i s th a t w h e n w e e x pe rience t h e l o s s o f a r e l a t i o n s h i p i t is pain f u l a n d t h e h o l i d a y s c a u s e us t o be a bi t mo r e s e n s i ti v e th a n normal . I n o th e r ca s e s , th e d esire t o h a v e p e r s o n a l l o n g i n g s fulfille d o n l y t o e n d u p s p e n d i n g anoth e r y e a r l o n e l y c a n c e r t a i n l y t ake ca us e a pe r s o n to w o n d e r if thei r s i t u a t i o n w i l l e v e r c h a n g e . Realit y h u r t s , b u t h e a l i n g c a n n o t occur i f w e t r y t o d e n y t h e r e a l i t y of wha t w e f e e l . 2. De v e l o p a H o l i d a y S e l f C a r e Plan: I f y o u a r e a w a r e t h a t t h e hol i d a y s tr i gge r ce r ta i n e mot i ons be gi n pr e pa r i n g i n a d v a n ce by ide n t i f y i n g w h a t y o u n e e d t o cope. Wh e th e r i t be f r i e n d s , f a mi l y or a s uppo r t gr o up o f pe o pl e who ar e go i n g th r o ugh s i mi l a r e xperi en ce s , ma k e s ur e y o u ta k e t he t i me to i d e n ti f y w h a t s pe ci f i cally t r i g g e r s f e e l i n g s o f s a d n e s s , d i sappo i n tme n t, a n d o r d e pr e s si on s o th a t y o u ca n be gi n ma king yo u r h o l i d a y s e l f - c a r e p l a n and f i n d i n g th e th i n gs th a t w i l l help y o u c o p e .
4. Make New Memories; The last thing a person needs when working through spending the h o l i d a y s a l o n e a ft e r a b r e a k u p i s l i s te n i n g to o l d s o n g s t h at r e tr i gge r me mo r i e s o f p as t r e lat io nships. It’s not easy to block out thoughts or memories that cause u s t o r e m i n i s c e a bo u t w h a t u s e t o be. However, if we don’t to spend the holidays in misery one of the most important things we can do is accept the fact that we may have to create new memories. It ma y be h e l pf ul to p lan a h o lid ay road trip with some friends who ma y a l s o be s pe n d in g t h e h o lidays alone. You can also seek out local support groups and or e v e n s ta r t y o ur o w n . De s pi te th e un ple as an t c o n d i tions that the holidays may bring as a result of family challenges, a recent break-up, divorce and or other difficulties, it still can be the most wonderful time of the y e a r , but i t w o n ’ t h ap p e n w it ho ut th e w i l l i n gn e s s t o c h o o s e t o enjoy this season despite these d i f f i cul ti e s . S o me o f t h e g r e at e s t ch a n ge s h a v e co m e as a r e s u lt o f t h e m o s t c h a l l e n gi n g t i m e s i n o u r lives, even when it’s supposed to be th e gr e a te s t ti m e o f o u r liv e s . Ma k e a co mmi t t o n o t o n ly s u rv i v e th e h o l i d a y s b u t e n j o y t h e m as well. As i a S ch mi d t i s a L ic e n s e d C lin i ca l Ad d i cti o n S pe c ialis t A s s o c i a t e , C e r t i f i e d Be l i e f T h e r a p i s t a n d Ce r ti f i e d J o u r n al T h e r ap is t . She currently works as a mental h e a l th th e r a pi s t a n d p r o v id e s lif e c o a c h i n g t h r o u gh h e r p r i v a t e practice at w w w . a s i a s c h m i d t .c o m
3. Sel f R e f l e c t i o n : A s p a i n f u l a s this tim e m a y b e f o r y o u , i t i s a l s o a t i me to ge t i n to uch w i th y o u. Oft en w e go th r o ugh l i f e w i th o ut
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www.diamonddivamag.com Ho p e ( n o u n) : a f eeling of expect at i on and d esi r e f o r a ce r ta i n th i n g to h a ppe n ; a f e e l i n g o f tr us t Whe n y ou m eet C r y st al B od i e Smi t h, you are me e ti n g th e e pi to me o f “ h o pe . ” As a s e l f - pr o cl a i me d h o p e c at al y s t , h o pe hacker, change agent, and ignitor o f h o p e , M s . B o d i e - S m i t h i s a t r e n d s e t t e r w h o s p e n d s h e r d a y s “ S t i r r i n g up the Gifts, Instilling Hope, and Savin g L i v e s . ” T h i s a l s o h a p p e n s t o b e t h e m i s s i o n o f h e r n o n - p r o f i t o r g a n i z ation, Capital City Hope Foundation (C C H F ) , w h i c h w a s f o u n d e d i n 2 0 1 2 . W i t h c o m p a s s i o n i n h e r h e a r t an d se nsitivity f o r her communi t y, i t i s not unus ua l to l o gi n to y o ur F a ce bo o k pa ge a n d ca tch Cr ys t al d o in g a l i ve v id e o wher e she can be found t al ki ng abo ut th e i mpo r ta n ce o f v o ti n g, e n co ur a gi n g o th e r s to m ake a d if f e r e n c e in their community, or supporting other l o c a l c o m m u n i t y e v e n t s . H e r m a i n f o c u s f o r a l l h u m a n b e i n g s i s t o # k e e pho p ea live. S o , w h a t drives Crystal Bodie Smith and her Ke e p H o p e A l i v e M o v e m e n t ? C u r r e n t l y , a r e s i d e n t o f R a l e i g h , N C b u t a n ative of Manhattan & Queens, NY, this p r o u d m o t h e r o f t h r e e , s t e p m o t h e r o f o n e , a n d g r a n d m o t h e r o f on e , ha s endu r ed her own l i fe’ s set backs but i s pr o ud to s a y s h e i s s ti l l s ta n d i n g, s mi l i n g, a n d h a s an in s at iab le h u n g e r for life. Throu gh two divorces, homeless n e s s , i l l n e s s , f i n a n c i a l s t r u g g l e s , l o s s o f j o b s , a n d l o t s m o r e , h e r f a i t h i n God, and hope for better things to com e h a s b r o u g h t h e r o u t . W h e n a sked what motivates her, Crystal immed i a t e l y c i t e s h e r o l d e s t s i s t e r ’ s s t r u g g l e w i t h c a n c e r , w h i c h i s n o w i n r e m i s sion, and says watching her overcome t h i s t e r r i b l e d i s e a s e g a v e h e r t h e s t r e n g t h t o f i g h t e v e n h a r d e r . M s . B o d ie-Smith also credits her children, stude n t s , m e n t e e s , a n d c o u s i n , N e s e , a s m o t i v a t i n g f o r c e s i n h e r l i f e . S h e p r i des herself on building a legacy for her d a u g h t e r s a n d i s d o i n g s o m e t h i n g t h a t m a k e s t h e m pr o u d . L a s t l y , s h e s h a res that her p assion to spread hope and i m p a c t l i v e s k e e p s h e r u p l i f t e d o n a d a i l y b a s i s . I n a d d i t ion to instilling hope with the Raleigh, N C c o m m u n i t y a n d b e y o n d , C r y s t a l B o d i e - S m i t h h e l p s a s p i r i n g bu sine ss o wner s with set t i ng up t hei r st ruct ure a n d ge tti n g pr o pe r d o cume n ta ti o n / l i ce n s i n g/ cr e d e n t ials t o o ff i c i a l l y operate as a business on the federal, sta t e , a n d l o c a l l e v e l . W e a s k ed Crystal, “What advice would you giv e t o a y o u n g w o m a n j u s t s t a r t i n g o u t o r h a v e a d es i r e t o g o i n bu sine ss b ut ha ve no i d ea what t o d o wi t h her h o pe s a n d d r e a ms ?” H e r r e s po n s e ? S h e w o ul d a s k th e m t o c o mp l e t e a n assessment to figure out what they re a l l y w a n t t o d o a n d t h e n e n c o u r a g e t h e m t o g o f o r i t . B u t , t h e s e nsitive side c a m e out from und er her t oug h e x te r i o r a n d s h e a l s o quo te d a po e m by Dr . Be n ja mi n E. M ays , “ Just a Minu te,” a nd we woul d l i ke t o share i t with y o u h e r e : I ’ v e o nly j ust a m inu te, O nly six t y sec o nds in i t . Fo rc e d u p o n me, c a n ’t refuse i t , D id n’ t s eek it, didn’t choose i t , B u t it ’ s up to me to use i t . I mu st s uf f er if I lo se it, G iv e a n a c c o unt if I abuse i t , Just a t iny little minu te, B u t e t e r nity is in it. I f y o u watch just one of her Facebook Live vide o s , i t w i l l b e c l e a r t o y o u t h a t C r y s t a l B o d i e - S m i t h i s p a s s i o n a t e a b o u t h er community. She calls out others in the c o m m u n i t y t o s h o w c o m p a s s i o n , s e n s i t i v i t y , a n d c a r i n g t o w a r d s on e ano ther ever y day.. Ms. B od i e-Smi t h i s a n a tur a l e n co ur a ge r a n d i gn i to r o f h o pe . I t a l l be ga n in 1 9 8 6 an d t h e r e st is histo r y . Introd uci ng Cryst al B od i e-Smi th w h o i s s ti l l s ta n d i n g a n d gi v e s G o d a l l th e gl o r y f or t h e t h in g s He h a s d o ne! ! T o lea rn more about Ms. B od i e-Sm i th ’ s s e r v i ce s a n d h e r f o un d a ti o n , v i s i t h e r w e bs i te at w w w . iam c r y s ta lb o diesm ith.c o m and remember t o #keeph o pe a l i v e .
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Savo ri n g T h a n k s g iv in g w i th F amily By: S hel eta R en e e ’
The tr ic k -o r -tr ea t bag s are most l y f o r go tten no w, si t t i ng forl ornl y s o mewhere after having morphed f r o m ta nta liz ingly pl ump t o l i g ht w e i ght sa c k s o f l eft over Chocolates a nd J o lly R anchers. O u r glorious autumn has turned t he c o r ner to o ne of t he d reari est m o nths o n the cal end ar. It ’ s Nov e mb er no w, a nd i t i s t i me t o t urn ou r f ull a ttentio n t o t he upcomin g ho lida y sea son. H o l iday celebrations these days t r i p over each other’s feet, s p eeding thr o u gh each speci al t im e a nd r einf orci ng an everin c rea sing sense t hat no hol i d ay c a n b e enj o y ed on i t s own bec a use the next one is breathing d own o u r nec k s. At no t i me i s t hat m o re evident th an Thanksgiving, a holiday that doesn’t feature t he dr a w o f f un cost umes, pi l es of c a ndy , gif t ex c hang es or el abo ra te dec o r a tio ns . T h a nksgiving stands on its own as s im p ly a time when fami l y and f r i e nds come together to share a meal and their affection and g r a titu de f o r ea ch ot her and for all blessings.
Ad d i n th e te n d e n cy f o r Bl a ck F r i d a y s h o ppi n g th a t bl e e ds in t o T h an ks g iving T h u r s d a y , a n d y o u ’ v e g o t a g r e a t h o l i d a y t h a t ’ s f a s t b e c o m i n g m e r e l y a spe e d bump i n th e r a ce f r o m S e pte mbe r to J a n . 1 . How e v e r , t h e p e n d u l u m m a y b e s w i n g i n g e v e r s o s l i g h t l y b a c k t o w a r d givin g T h a n k s g i v i n g t h e a t t e n t i o n i t d e s e r v e s . S e v e r a l r e c e n t n e w s r e p o r t s indic a t e d t h a t i n c r e a s i n g l y m o r e r e t a i l s t o r e s a r e d e c i d i n g t o r e m a i n d a r k for T h a n k s g i v i n g , s o m e w h a t r e v e r s i n g t h e t r e n d t h a t h a s b e e n t a k i n g o v e r fami l y d i n n e r s a n d tur n i n g th e d a y i n to a h o l i d a y s h o ppi n g m ar at h o n . Store s t h a t w i l l n o t b e d o i n g b u s i n e s s o n N o v e m b e r 2 4 t h i s y e a r i n c l u d e Hhgr e g g , C a b e l a ’ s , S t a p l e s , S a m ’ s C l u b , C o s t c o , C r a t e a n d B a r r e l , I k e a , Home De po t, Lo w e ’ s , Ma r s h a l l ’ s , T J Ma x x , No r d s tr o m an d N e im an M arcus. I reme mbe r a ti me w h e n T h a n k s gi v i n g br o ugh t f a mi l i e s t o g e t h e r t o r e m ini sce, e a t a n d ma k e mo r e me mo r i e s . No t th a t l o n g a go t h e o n ly p lac e s that w e r e o p e n o n T h a n k s g i v i n g w e r e t h e h o s p i t a l s a n d p o l i c e a n d f i r e stati o n s . I t w a s a l m o s t i m p o s s i b l e n o t t o f e e l t h e d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n a spec i a l d a y l i k e T h a n k s gi v i n g v e r s us a n y o th e r n o r ma l d ay. T h e r e w as som e t h i n g p r o f o u n d l y s i g n i f i c a n t a b o u t e v e r y s t o r e f r o n t b e i n g d a r k a n d every o n e a t h o me s pe n d i n g th e h o l i d a y w i th th e i r f a mi l ie s . It all c o n t r ibut ed to th e un i que f e e l i n g th a t h o l i d a y s e x ud e d i n th a t e r a. Let ’s ma k e ti me f o r f a mi l y . P ut be i n g th a n k f ul ba ck in t o c e le b r at in g Than k s g i v i n g . R e m e m b e r w h a t ’ s i m p o r t a n t t o u s a n d m a y b e t h i s y e a r p u t al l yo ur bl a ck F r i d a y s h o ppi n g o n th e ba ck bur n e r , y o u j u s t m ay r e m e mber h o w i m p o r t a n t t h i s d a y a n d f a m i l y i s t o y o u .
T h a t’s what many of us love about Tha nk sgiving. But wi t h t he jugg e r na ut tha t is Chri st mas creep i n g into early autumn, Turkey Day a l w ays seems to get short shrift.
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www.diamonddivamag.com Dear Gi g g y: I l ost my fai t h when m y f i r s t ch i l d w a s d i a gn o s e d w i th a uti s m. I w a s s o a n g r y at m yself and God (part of m e i s s t i l l a n g r y ) . I r e m e m b e r a s k i n g G o d w h y H e w o u l d d o t h i s t o me. I wai t ed unt i l I w a s ma r r i e d to h a v e k i d s , gr a d ua te d co l l e ge a n d I’v e alw ays respected my parent s . W h a t d i d I d o w r o n g ? I compl et el y st opped a tte n d i n g ch ur ch a n d e v e n tua l l y I e v e n be ca me a n o n - b e lie v er. I event ual l y had an o th e r ch i l d w h o h a s a uti s m a s w e l l , a n d I ’ m co mpl e t e ly n u m b when i t comes t o rel igi o n . How d o I l et t he ange r , bi tte r n e s s a n d f r us tr a ti o n go a n d ge t r i gh t w i th Go d b e f o r e i t i s t oo l at e? No Fai t h Left
----------D e ar N o Fa ith Lef t: Fi rst o f all let me sa y h ow much my heart g oes ou t to y o u. T o h a v e tw o ch i l d r e n w i th a uti s m i s n o s ma ll f e at . I c an no t be g i n to under stand t he t i me, effort , comm i tme n t a n d d i s ci pl i n e i t ta k e s to w a l k d a i l y th r o ugh t h is j o u r n e y. W h a t I c an tell you is that you are not alone. Th e C e n t e r s f o r D i s e a s e C o n t r o l e s t i m a t e s 1 i n 6 8 c h i l d r e n a s h a v i n g a u t i s m s pectrum disorder (ASD). This is not to mi n i m i z e y o u r p e r s o n a l s i t u a t i o n ; I j u s t w a n t e d e v e r y o n e w h o r e a d s t h is t o be a wa r e o f how preval ent t hi s i s. A s f o r y o u , I ha ve so much respect for you t o do w h a t y o u a r e d o i n g. My d a ugh te r h a s tw o ch i l d re n w h o h av e s p e c i a l needs and I see her daily tenacity in ens u r i n g t h e y h a v e t h e b e s t l i f e p o s s i b l e . I c a n o n l y a s s u m e y o u a r e d o i n g t he same for yours. O n e thing I sa y to my d aug ht er i s how much I ad mi r e h o w s tr o n g s h e i s . Our Ki n g k n e w s h e w o ul d h a v e e xt r ao r d i na r y pa tienc e, u nder st and i ng , d et ermi nat i on an d th e a bi l i ty to s e e a n d l o v e th e m a s n o o n e e l s e can . T h e s am e i s f o r y o u. I know it may be hard to accept, bu t p a r e n t s o f c h i l d r e n w i t h s p e c i a l n e e d s t e n d t o h av e t h e a b i l i t y t o l o v e them unconditionally; to be their advoc a t e a n d p r o v i d e u n l i m i t e d s u p p o r t . Y o u a r e o n e o f a f e w u n i q u e wo m e n . You m e ntio ned tha t you g rad uat ed col l eg e, re s pe cte d y o ur pa r e n ts , go t ma r r i e d , e tc. , s o y o u co u ld n o t u n d e rs t a n d w hat you did “wrong”. This leads me to b e l i e v e t h a t y o u t h i n k y o u h a v e t o e a r n G o d ’ s g r a c e a n d f a v o r b y g o o d w orks. Nothing could be further from the t r u t h . W h a t i f I s a i d y o u d i d n o t h i n g w r o n g ? C o u l d y o u b e l i e v e t h a t ? T he unexpected painful things in our live s a r e n o t b a s e d o n w o r k s ; a n d o n l y b y f a i t h c a n w e g e t t h r o u g h . You m u s t u se y o u r f a it h i n t he hard t i mes, when th i n gs d o n ’ t go y o ur w a y o r s o me th i n g un e x pe cte d c o m e s c r as hi n g d own o n y o u . Can you st i l l bel i eve? Can y o u s ti l l l o v e ? Ca n y o u f o r gi v e ? W h e n w e can’t change a situation, we have to c o m e t o a c c e p t a n c e . N o w , m i n d y o u , I a m n o t a l i c e n s e d o r c e r t i f i e d therapist, so I would highly recommen d y o u r e a c h o u t t o s o m e o n e l i k e t h a t f o r c o n t i n u e d s u p p o r t – f o r y ou . My a dvic e is f r om t he heart of a mot her, gr a n d mo th e r a n d o n e w h o h a s e n d ur e d a n d o v e r c o m e h o r r if ic s u f f e r i n g throughout my own life. I c a n h onestly say that I have taken the painfu l p a r t s o f m y l i f e a n d u s e d t h e m a s w a y s t o e n c o u r a g e a n d b l e s s o t h e r s . By doing this, my suffering has being tu r n e d a r o u n d f o r g o o d . I n y o u r c u r r e n t s i t u a t i o n , h o w e v e r , t h e r e m a y b e minimal time for you to do this as you a r e p r o b a b l y j u s t m a i n t a i n i n g f o r y o u a n d y o u r f a m i l y . I g e t t h a t . W h a t y o u can do, however, is look for the beau t y , l o o k f o r t h e l i g h t , l o o k f o r t h e j o y i n y o u r c h i l d r e n . F o r c h i l d r e n with a u tism I u nder stand i t may be d i ffi cul t t o g e t a n y ty pe o f r e s po n s e f r o m th e m, s o w h a t I a m s a y in g p r o b ab ly m ak e s y o u sa y , ‘y ea h , ri g ht !’ N o Fa ith Lef t, to b e very honest , I am real l y at a l o s s f o r w o r d s . As I tr y to co n s o l e y o u, I k e e p th i n k in g I m ig h t b e m ak in g it wo r se… So , I in vite y o u to ta lk t o t he Ki ng . Reach i nsi d e a n d pl e a d y o ur ca s e w i th th e H o l y S pi r i t. Le t H i m k n o w yo u r d isa p p o i n t ment, your anger, sadness, humiliation a n d p a i n . S a y w h a t e v e r y o u n e e d t o s a y t o H i m , a n d a b o u t H i m , a s H e c an take it. He knows what you are think i n g a n y w a y , s o t o k e e p s i l e n t i s h u r t i n g n o o n e b u t y o u . A n d d o t h i s , n o t religiously, saying trite words and emp t y t r a d i t i o n a l s a y i n g s . B e r e a l , b e Y O U a n d s a y w h a t i s r e a l l y o n y o u r h e art. A nd , k n o w this – a s long as you are al i ve, i t i s ne v e r to o l a te to ge t r i gh t w i th y o ur Ki n g. R e me mbe r , yo u ar e r o ya l t y , a c itizen of the Kingdom and have a right to a p p r o a c h t h e K i n g w i t h y o u r c o n c e r n s a n d s e e k H i m f o r a n s w e r s . B e p re p ar ed to listen as He wi l l speak back t o y o u. H e ma y n o t gi v e y o u th e a n s w e r s y o u d e s i r e ; bu t r at h e r , as k t h at y o u lo ve H im j ust t he same. I n o u r p ain we have a tendency to run away fro m t h e o n l y O n e w h o c a n b r i n g u s t r u e p e a c e a n d c o m f o r t . D o n ’ t r u n f r o m your Source of Comfort; run TO Him! M a y y o u f i n d t h e p e a c e H e i s w a i t i n g t o g i v e y o u v e r y s o o n . I s t ro ng ly enc o u r a ge y ou t o connect wi t h a smal l gr o up o f be l i e v e r s i f y o u ca n n o t f i n d y o u w a y i n to a c h u r c h r ig h t no w. A ls o , I suggest you st art read i ng t he Psal ms i n th e Ol d T e s ta me n t. T h e r e y o u w i l l f i n d s o n gs th a t w ill r e s o n at e w i t h t h e pain and frustration you are experienc i n g . Y o u r K i n g h a s p r e p a r e d e v e n t h a t f o r y o u . I b e lie ve in y o u! G ig g y
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I Wi l l b e L o y a l t o Y O U By: J oy R . B r own
T a k e a minute. Think of the word lo y alty . W ha t does t hat mean t o y o u ? Are you loyal to your friends, f am i ly , j o b , ma r r iag e, or commi tm e n t to o ther s? Loyal t y i s a powe r f u l word. When I think about l o y a lty, I automatically reflect on the lo y a lty b etween Naomi and R u t h . Naomi went through crises; she lo st her hu sb and and her t wo s o n s . During crises in your life, who c a n you depend upon to be with y o u to travel through the storms? W e ll, N a o mi ha d Rut h. B ot h Naom i a nd R uth lo st t hei r husband s. T he y c o uld f eel the g ri ef and pai n t h a t each other experienced. T a k e the opportunity to read Ruth 1: 1 - 17 f o r the sto ry i n i t s ent i ret y. N a o mi gave both Ruth and Orpah t h e same opportunity to return to t h e i r homeland, to their mothers, a n d perhaps to a new life with ne w hu sb a nds. However, Orpah a c c ep ted the o f fer, but Rut h d en i e d the request. When you are l o y a l to a person or a thing, you will go tha t ex tr a mi l e t o prove y ou r c o mm itm ent . Rut h had purp o s ed in her heart that she would
be with N a o m i e v e r y s t e p o f t h e w a y . When Ru t h r e f u s e d t o g o b a c k t o w h a t was norma l f o r h e r , Na o mi r e a l i ze d th a t she wou l d n e v e r l o s e , f i r s t, a d a ugh te r i n-l aw, but a l s o a s o ul ma te . R uth r e a l ized tha t h e r d e s t i n y w o u l d b e b i r t h e d t hroug h Na o mi . No w , I h a d to th i n k f o r a mome n t a b o u t R u t h ’ s l o y a l t y . H o w coul d sh e be mo r e l o y a l to h e r mo th e r i n-l aw t h a n h e r mo th e r ?
e r , w h e n R uth r e f u s e d t o le av e h e r side and made that declaration to h e r , i t d i d n o t r e l i e v e t h e p ain , b u t it made it doable because of that support. Read the rest of the book of Ruth to find out how Ruth’s life was blessed because she refused to jump ship when things got bad. Ch o o s e to d a y to r e m ain lo yal, first to God, and then to those who you’ve been assigned to in l i f e . Do n ’ t r un a t t h e f ir s t s ig n o f tr o ubl e . Ch o o s e t o p r ay w it h t h at pe r s o n a n d e n co u r ag e t h e m in t h e Lord. Also, refuse to remove out of position. You have been placed in someone’s life to uphold and s uppo r t th e m. T h e g r e at e s t b le s s i n g i s h a v i n g s o me o n e t h at r e f u s e s to leave your life when times are tough. The person that stick and s ta y w i l l a l w a y s r e c e iv e u n e xp e c t e d a n d u n e x p l a in a b l e b l e s s i n g s . Co n s i d e r y o ur l o y alt y t o d ay an d r ef us e to ba ck up a n d m o v e o n w h e n the person you’ve been assigned to n e e d y o u th e m o s t . T h in k ab o u t who you’ve been called to be a Ruth to today.
I came t o t h e c o n c l u s i o n t h a t R u t h h a d a relati o n s h i p w i t h N a o m i . Through the rela t i o n s h i p , R u t h i d e n t i f i e d t h a t Naomi w a s mo r e th a n jus t a mo th e r i n-l aw b ut h e r h o pe . Na o mi mus t h a v e i nvest ed much i n R uth i n r e tur n , R uth believe d i t w a s n o w h e r o p p o r t u n i t y t o not onl y r e tur n th e f a v o r but r e f us e to quit and r e t u r n h o m e w h e n N a o m i w a s g oi ng th r o ugh o n e o f th e mo s t ch a ll eng i ng ci r cums ta n ce s i n h e r l i f e . H o w many t i m e s h a v e y o u b a i l e d o u t o n someon e b e c a u s e o f w h a t t h e y w e r e g oi ng t h r o ugh a t th e mo me n t? We fai l t o re a l i ze th a t th i s i s th e o ppo r tuni t y t o pr o v e y o ur l o y a l ty , d e d i ca ti o n , and co m m i t m e n t t o t h e r e l a t i o n s h i p . B ack t o Na o mi , s h e h a d be co me bi tt er and o v e r ta k e n by gr i e f be ca us e o f what ha d o ccur r e d i n h e r l i f e . H o w e v-
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How D eep A r e Y our R oo t s ? How to wi ths ta nd s tor m s i n y o u r ma r r i a g e w i t h t he p r op er root s y s tem B y K a re n Moor e
You ar e in a r ela tio nsh i p, whi ch ent i t l es you aut o ma ti ca l l y to e n co un te r s to r ms a n d s e tba ck s o f v a r yin g m ag n i t u d e s . S t orms, setbacks and disappointments ar e a l l a p a r t o f l i f e a n d t h e s e s t o r m s c o m e a n d g o . S o m e s t o r m s y o u c a n see coming and make the necessary a d j u s t m e n t . O t h e r s a r e u n f o r e s e e a b l e a n d y o u a r e h i t s u d d e n l y . Your s to r ms ha ve a p u rpose. St o r m s ar e Go d’s wa y of real l y g et t i ng our at t en ti o n . H e ga i n s o ur un d i v i d e d a tte n ti o n by d i s r upti n g w h at is n o rm a l i n o u r lives. What you view as normal may al s o b e t h e v e r y t h i n g t h a t i s l e a d i n g y o u t o d e s t r u c t i o n . M a r r i a g e b e g i n s w i th two individ uals becoming one. Now, y o u k n o w t h a t o i l a n d w a t e r d o n ’ t m i x a n d m a n y t i m e s m a r r i a g e s ar e s tr a ined b ec a u se one spouse want s t o real l y “ l e a v e a n d cl e a v e ” a n d th e o th e r w a n ts to co n ti n u e t o liv e as i f t h e y a r e o nly imp a c t i ng t hei r l i ves and no one e l s e . H e r e i s y o ur s to r m! At th a t mo me n t G o d a l l o w s a s t o r m t o f o r m a n d begin wearing away at what He knows i s g o i n g t o t e a r y o u r r e l a t i o n s h i p a p a r t e v e n t u a l l y . T h e w i n d a n d r a i n of the sto r m b egins t eari ng d own t he wal l s o f s e l f i s h n e s s , f r us tr a ti o n , r e s e n tme n t a n d a n y o th e r d is t r ac t io n s b r i c k b y brick. Once the ground in your life is lev e l e d , t h e n H e b e g i n s r e b u i l d i n g y o u a n d y o u r r e l a t i o n s h i p . Y o u r s t or m s se r ve a dua l p u rpose. They d est roy what is un n e ce s s a r y a n d th a t w h i ch i s n o l o n ge r pr o d uci n g f r u it as w e ll a s m a k e way for healthier and more productive g r o w t h t o t a k e p l a c e . I n o r d e r to p r o duc e good frui t , you must be roo te d a n d gr o un d e d to a s o ur ce th a t pr o v i d e s y o u t h e n u t r ie n t s n e e d e d t o continue to grow. For example, let’s lo o k a t a p a l m t r e e . T h e p a l m t r e e c a n b e n d n e a r l y to t h e g r o u n d bu t ne ve r b r ea k s b ec ause of t he st rong root syst em th a t i t co n ta i n s . A pa l m tr e e un l i k e a n y o th e r tr e e h as a r o o t s y s t e m t h at contains roots that are the same size a l l t h e w a y d o w n i n t o t h e g r o u n d . T h i s m a k e s i t v er y d i f f i c u l t t o u p r o o t a palm tree. Any other tree has roots th a t b e g i n l a r g e a n d g e t s m a l l e r t h e d e e p e r t h e r o o t s g o i n t o t h e g r o w n . T his makes a tree weak and gives way fo r t h e t r e e t o b e u p r o o t e d . Y o u r m a r r i a g e a n d r e l a t i o n s h i p i s l i k e t h a t o f a palm tree. I t must be deeply rooted a n d t h e r e m u s t b e s e v e r a l d i f f e r e n t r o o t s s u c h a s l o v e , h o n e s t y , a c c o u n t ability and trust just to name a few. A m a r r i a g e t h a t i s d e e p l y r o o t e d i n t h e A l m i g h t y G o d h a s n o o t h e r c h o i c e b ut to withstand any storm that comes. C o l o s s i a n s 2 : 7 s a y s , L e t y o u r r o o t s g r o w d o w n i n t o h i m , a n d l e t y our live s b e b u ilt o n h i m. Then your fai t h wi l l g ro w s tr o n g i n th e tr uth y o u w e r e ta ugh t, a n d y o u w i l l ov e r f lo w w it h t h a n k f u l n ess. Stand firm in God and know that s t o r m s w i l l c o m e , b u t b e i n g d e e p l y r o o t e d a n d g r o u n d e d i n H i m y o u w i l l s t and.
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L ook Li ke a Be a u t y w i t h o u t t h e S le e p - H o w t o F ake a G o o d Ni ghts R e st
A s w e f a l l b a c k a gain and adjust our internal clocks for Daylight Savings, we must be p r e p a r e d fo r tho s e m o r n in g s w h en sleep d o esn ’ t come natural l y – a condi ti on known as “Dayl i gh t S avi n gs H a n g o v e r . ” T h e g ood news is that there is a way to look refreshed and awake – even if y o u r s l e e p sc he d u le is in t h e dumps. Ti p 1 : S h u t i t d o w n – electronics that is. Before going to sleep, shut down all electron i c s – t h a t m e a n s T V , c o m p u t er and, yes, your blackberry. These all are stimulants for the brain, and i f y o u ’ r e a n s w e r i n g e m a i l s i n bed at 10 p.m., you’r e going to have a difficult time getting to slee p . H i t t h e p ow e r sw it c h a t le a st a n h o ur befo r e bed ti me. Ti p 2 : G e t u p … N OW! Once the alarm goes off, get out of bed immediately. Snoozing is n o t s l e e p ; i t ’ s j us t p r o lo n g in g t h e in evit a ble. Ti p 3 : So n o w t h a t yo u’ r e up – d o so met h ing. Try a morni ng workout to get moti v ated and f e e l e n e r g i z e d f o r t h e d a y . Take a quick run or hit an early morning spin class. Be sure to challeng e y o u r s e l f fi r s t thi n g a n d t h e n see h o w much ea sier your morni ng commute feel s . Ti p 4 : H y d r a t e . G r eat-looking skin isn’t just about what you put on it, but also what you p u t i n y o u r b o d y . S k i p t h a t m orning cup of coffee, which can be dehydrating, and drink a glass of i c e w a t e r i ns t e ad . T h e c o ld w a t er w ill n o t o n ly g ive you a ki ck i n the morni ng, but al s o hel p hydrate sk i n , l e avi ng i t l o o kin g a n d f eelin g r efr esh ed . Ti p 5 : W a k e u p a n d fake it! Use a hydrating and stimulating makeup choose products tha t c o n t a i n e s s e nt i a l m in e r a ls a n d in g r ed ien t s, such as cucumber and al oe, whi ch s oothe and hydrate sk i n . R e m e m b e r n o t t o cake it on but always allow the skin to breath. Ti p 6 : D o N O T s k i p breakfast. You’ve worked out, you’ve hydrated, you’re looking gorge o u s . W h y d e n y y o u r b o d y t h e nutrients it needs to keep it looking and feeling refreshed by walkin g o u t t h e d o o r w it h o u t g r a b bin g a quick bit e?
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G ot H a b i ts ? D isc o ver the j o y of g ood habi t cre atio n a nd no t-so-g ood habi t ext rac t io n! A u t ho r : K a r en Deni se aka Gi g g y Pa r t 2 o f 3: U nde rst and i ng Habi t s and Ho w T hey A f f ec t our Hi g her Li vi ng A re y o u a wa r e of how many habi t s y o u a c tu a lly have? Probabl y not , b e cause a habit is something that is pe r f o r m ed in y our subconsci ous. We h a ve an unlimited number of habits. I t i s only when y ou are trying to form or b r ea k a ha bi t t hat you become a ware of your habits and how hard it is t o b r ea k o r f o rm t hem. Ha b its c a n b e seen as bot h g ood and ba d th i n gs . T h i s will depend on how they are affecting y o u r l i f e . S ome o f y o ur habi t s i ncl ud e d ai l y rout i nes s uch a s : ● Getting dressed ● Taking a shower ● Br u shing your t eet h ● D r iving mi nd l essl y t o and from a kno w n d e s tin a tion ● W a shing t he d i shes ● D o ing the l aund ry ● T y ing y o ur shoes ● Making your bed ● ...a nd the l i st g oes on Y o u don’t even have to think about these t h i n g s a s y o u r m ind ha s b ecome accust omed t o you r r o uti n e . F o r example, brushing your teeth - you m o s t l i k e l y br u sh y o ur teeth t he same way every d ay; f r o m h o w y o u squeeze the toothpaste to which teeth y o u s t a r t t o brush first. And, that is just one habit. C a n y o u ima gin e t he effort need ed t o ac ti v e l y r em em b er ho w to d o each st ep of t he abov e ch o r e s ? Yo u wo u ld end up compl et el y exhaust ed a t th e e n d o f every day if y ou had to figure out how to d o e a c h o f them. I can remember how much of a ch a l l e n g e i t w as to get to a j ob, for exampl e. Maki ng sur e I w o ul d ar r ive o n tim e, wi t hout a GPS, wi t h onl y w r i tte n d i r e ctions or a map to help; not sure of th e s t r e e t s , if I wa s go ing in t he ri g ht d i rect i on, et c. No w , I ca n alm o st do it in my sl eep. P r oblems arise when you are trying to fo r m a n e w h a bit. You may want to lose 10 pounds, o r y o u w i s h t h at your kitchen counters would be less c l u t t e r e d . B o th of these take time and effort to ch a n g e . T o k e ep those counters clear you would need t o f o r m a h a bit of finding homes for all the random i t e m s . T h i s m ight inc lu de f i l i ng your bi l l s or g et t i ng th e k i d s to n o t leave their homework there. Or having e v e r y o n e pu t their dishes i nt o t he d i shwasher each n i gh t. Y o u s ta r t o f f gr ea t, and t hen sl i p back i nt o ol d h a bi ts i f y o u a r e no t m indful and consi st ent .
T h e s e a r e a l l s ma l l th i n gs , but y o u n e e d t o s e t up a r o uti n e s o y o u ca n k e e p y o ur k it c h e n c le an a n d ti d y . R e s e a r ch i n d i ca te s th a t it t ake s ap proximately 3 to 4 weeks to form a good habit. This means for one month you need to make a huge effort into performing these tasks. After th i s ti me th e e f f o r t w i l l s e e m l i k e le s s , j u s t b e cause your mind is becoming accustomed to your new actions. However, even though it is l e s s a r d uo us y o u s ti l l h a v e to k e e p i t u p . S o , i f y o u a r e s ta r ti n g to f o r m a go o d h ab it it ca n be e x tr e me l y h e l pf ul to h a v e r e m in d e r s around your home. For example, say you want to l o s e 5 po un d s to f i t i n to th a t b at h in g s u it . You can leave your suit out where you can see i t s o i t a cts a s a r e mi n d e r . An o th e r id e a is t o w r i te n o te s a n d l e a v e th e m a r o un d yo u r h o m e ; ma y be o n th e f r i d ge d o o r , s o w h e n yo u f e e l like s n a ck i n g, y o u a r e r e mi n d e d o f w h y yo u ar e t r y ing to lose weight. Or , i f e x e r ci s i n g i s y o ur n e w h a bi t, re m in d yo u rs e l f d ur i n g th e d a y th a t w h e n y o u g e t h o m e y o u a r e go i n g to e n jo y a w a l k . V ie w t h e t as k a s s o m e t h i n g e n j o y a b l e , r a t h e r t h an s o m e t h i n g th a t h a s to be d o n e . T h i s w a y y o u w ill lo o k f o r ward to getting home and walking after dinner. R e me mbe r th a t th e mo r e y o u r e pe at t h is p r o ce s s th e qui ck e r th e h a bi t w i l l f o r m. S o w h a t h a bi ts a r e y o u f o r mi n g f o r yo u r h ig h e s t life? This is the Part 2 of a three-part series by our n e w c o l u m n i s t , K a r e n D e n i s e A K A Gi g g y . M i s s e d P a r t 1 ? B e s u r e t o c h e c k o u t o u r Oc t o b e r i s s u e a n d ge t ca ugh t up. Lo o k f o r th e de b u t o f o u r n e w co l umn , “ As k G i ggy ” i n th i s N o v e m b e r is sue! Want to ask Giggy how to get back to your h i gh e s t l i f e po te n ti a l ? S e n d a n e mail t o g ig g y@ askgiggy.com - your question (and answer) mi gh t be i n cl ud e d i n “ As k G i ggy . ”
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The Holida y S e a s o n : Ho w c a n m y ch il d enjo y i t i n HI S ow n w a y ? By R e g in a B u r dett
The h o l i d a y s a r e a l r e a d y i n f u l l s w i n g . H a l l o w e e n j u s t p a s s e d a n d now w e a r e l o o k i n g a h e a d a t T h a n k s gi v i n g, Ch r i s tma s , K iw an is , Ha nukk a h , R a m a d a n , N e w Y e a r ’ s , V a l e n t i n e ’ s , M a r d i G r a s a n d E a s t e r t o just n a m e a f e w . I f y o u r f a m i l y i s a n y t h i n g l i k e m i n e , t h e h o l i d a y s a r e a mi x tur e o f w o n d e r f ul s tr e s s . Befo r e d i v i n g i n t o w h a t I m e a n b y t h a t l a s t s t a t e m e n t , l e t m e g i v e you a b i t o f b a c k g r o u n d i n f o r m a t i o n a b o u t m y f a m i l y . M y h u s b a n d and I m e t i n h i g h s c h o o l a n d g o t m a r r i e d a f t e r c o l l e g e . W e s t a r t e d a fam i l y i n o u r 5 t h y e a r o f m a r r i a g e . A l l w a s g o i n g a s p l a n n e d u n t i l t he 8 th mo n th o f my pr e gn a n cy w h e n w e f o un d o ut th a t o u r b ab y is havi n g s o me me d i ca l i s s ue s . Lo n g s to r y s h o r t h e w a s bo r n w it h 2 m a jor b i r t h d e f e c t s , u s e d a g a s t r i c f e e d i n g t u b e f o r n u t r i e n t f o r 1 2 y e a r s and a l s o h a s a pr o f o un d h e a r i n g i mpa i r me n t. T h i s a l s o me an t t h at h e had m a n y s u r g e r i e s f o r t h e f i r s t 1 6 y e a r s o f l i f e . T o d a y h e i s 2 2 y e a r s ol d , e a ti n g by mo uth a n d w i l l gr a d ua te f r o m a co mmun it y c o lle g e t hi s c o mi n g Ma y . That w o n d e r f ul s tr e s s f e e l i n g s te mme d f r o m th e s tr uggl e I w as e xp e r ie n c i n g i n how do I as a mom, create the traditio n a l h o l i d a y e x p e r i e n c e w h i l e h a v i n g a c h i l d t h a t d o e s n o t h a v e a t r a d i t i o nal life. Having all of these medical thin g s g o i n g o n i n o u r l i f e , r e s u l t e d i n m e a l t i m e n o t b e i n g p l e a s a n t . My so n e xp er ienc ed h orri bl e refl ux and i t was not a pr e tty s i gh t to s e e . E a ti n g a t r e s ta ur a n ts w a s a p r o c e s s t o s a y t h e l east. Over a few years, my husband and I g o t i t d o w n p a t . T h a t a l s o m e a n t e d u c a t i n g t h e n e a r b y t a b l e o f c u s t o mers and our waiting staff. Our son also h a d a l o t o f d e v e l o p m e n t a l d e l a y s b e c a u s e h e s p e n t s o m u c h t i m e i n a nd out of the hospital limited to the bed . D u e t o h i s n u t r i t i o n a l s t a t e , h e a l s o d i d n o t h a v e g o o d s t a m i n a whic h c a used him to t i re out fast er t han ot her ch i l d r e n h i s o w n a ge . Ho lid ay s ar e to b e a j oyful cel ebrat i on for fami l i e s , s o h o w ca n a f a mi l y ce l e br a te w h e n mo s t h o l i d ays ar e c e n t er e d ar o und a m a z ing meal s wi t h ot hers? Even H a l l o w e e n h a s T r i ck o r T r e a ti n g w h i ch i s f o l l o w e d u p b y d u m p i n g o u t a ll of one’s “loot” to eat your favorite ca n d y o n c e e v e r y o n e r e t u r n s h o m e t h a t n i g h t . M y s o n n e v e r s a w hi m se lf d if f er ent f r o m everyone el se. I want ed h i m to be a pa r t o f a l l th e tr a d i ti o n s a t th e h o l i d a y s an d ye t n o t f o rc i n g h im to do the one unpleasant thing in hi s l i f e ; e a t i n g . I g o t m y t h i n k i n g c a p o n a n d c a m e u p w i t h s o m e d i f f e r e n t tips. After sharing some of the tips with l o c a l p a r e n t s , I r e a l i z e d t h a t I c o u l d s h a r e t h i s o n a l a r g e r s c a l e . T h a t i s h ow I found myself creating this article. I h o p e t h a t t h e f o l l o w i n g s u g g e s t i o n s a r e h e l p f u l a n d p o s s i b l y i n s p i r e y ou to create a unique style for your fam i l y t o c e l e b r a t e d i f f e r e n t h o l i d a y s w h i l e k e e p i n g t h e m e a n i n g f u l par t a pr io r ity f o r y o ur chi l d ren. Ho lid ay s w ith la r ge f a mi l y g at heri ng s for meal s • F or children who are tube fed, the family m e a l m a y n o t b e a p o s i t i v e e x p e r i e n c e . P l a n t h e t u b e f e e d i n g t o f o l l o w the family meal. Have your child sit at t h e t a b l e t o b e a p a r t o f t h e s o c i a l t i m e w i t h f a m i l y . H a v e w h i t e p a p e r a t the table so they can color while others a r e e a t i n g . A s k f a m i l y w h a t t h e y a r e c e l e b r a t i n g a n d h a v e y o u r c hi ld d ra w wha t they are cel ebrat i ng . • O lder c hildr en can hel p prepare part s of th e me a l . As tube f e d ch i l d r e n a r e a r o un d o th e r s d u r in g m e als , t h e no r m al p a r t o f m eal t i me i s seen and can watch h o w me a l s a r e pl e a s a n t f o r o th e r pe o pl e . T h i s is a t im e t o ha ve a po sitive exp er ience around food . • C hildren with low stamina or social delays m i g h t n e e d t o h a v e l a r g e f a m i l y g a t h e r i n g s i n p h a s e s . A s k p a r t of t he f am ily to visit duri ng t he d ay t i me, ot her f a mi l y me mbe r s to co me i n e a r l y e v e n i n g a n d ma y b e an o t h e r par t o f t he f a mily to vi si t l at er on. Thi s coul d be d o n e i n a pr o gr e s s i v e d i n n e r me th o d . T h e f i r s t f a mily v is it o r s t o ha ve b ru nc h o r lu nc h, t he second g roup t o have d i n n e r a n d th e th i r d gr o up to be th e r e f o r d e s s e r t. Th at w ay t h e c hi ld r e n ca n ha ve smal l er g roups vi si t i ng . Duri ng ti me s w h e n gi f ts a r e be i n g e x ch a n ge d , o pe n i n g gi ft s in p h as e s w i ll a l s o give children a chance to rest. For seve r a l y e a r s , o u r s o n w o u l d o p e n g i f t s u n t i l b r e a k f a s t w a s r e a d y t o be s e r ve d, then he woul d fal l asl eep for a nap an d w e w o ul d o pe n th e r e s t o f th e gi f ts a f te r h e w o k e u p f r o m h is na p . • H oliday parties can be very tiring and ove r w h e l m i n g f o r a l l c h i l d r e n . K e e p i t s i m p l e a n d l i m i t t h e n u m b e r of p a r tie s a ttended. We found t hat our son mai nl y e n jo y e d pa r ti e s w h e r e th e r e w e r e o th e r ch i l d r e n to s p e n d t im e w i t h a n d the ones that had about 3-4 families in v i t e d . W e c h o s e t o d o o n l y o n e p a r t y a w e e k s o t h a t m o s t d a y s we w e re h o m e to k eep normal rout i nes whi ch d e cr e a s e d s tr e s s f o r e v e r y o n e .
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www.diamonddivamag.com E aster E gg H unts or scaveng er hunt s • Fo r c hildr en who are not very mobi l e o r s l o w ge tti n g a r o un d , h a v e e ggs (o r co n ta i n e r s ) i n s e p ar at e ar e as f o r each child. That way each child has the i r o w n s e c t i o n o f t h e y a r d o r r o o m i n t h e h o u s e . T h i s i s f o r e v e r y o n e , n o t j ust f o r the c h i l d wi t h mobi l i t y i ssues. • Have each child only searching for e g g s o r c o n t a i n e r s o f a s p e c i f i c c o l o r . T h i s c a n h e l p w i t h c h i l d r e n w i t h mobility or eating issues. Hide the same n u m b e r o f e a c h c o l o r e g g s , p u t n o n - f o o d i t e m s t h e c o n t a i n e r t h a t is a ssigned to the chi l d on t ube feed s or for th o s e w i th s pe ci a l d i e ta r y n e e d s . F o r ch i l d r e n w h o m o v e s lo w e r t ha n o ther s this al l ows t hem t o not t o be i n co mpe ti ti o n w i th a l l th e o th e r ch i l d r e n d ur i n g th e h u n t , b e c au s e e a c h child is only searching for eggs or co n t a i n e r s o f t h e i r a s s i g n e d c o l o r . T h i s t a k e s t h e s p e e d s t r a t e g y o u t o f t he results of the hunt. My son was delay e d i n l e a r n i n g h o w t o r u n , w h i c h c a u s e d h i m t o o n l y b e a b l e t o f i n d a f ew eggs o r c o nt ai ners before ot her chi l dr e n f o un d th e m. On ce w e d i d th e co l o r a s s i gn me n t o r r an d o m ass i g nment, then he would be able to find a b a s k e t f u l l l i k e a l l t h e o t h e r c h i l d r e n . T h e s i d e b e n e f i t , w a s a f t e r t h e f a s t er and older children found all of their e g g s o r c o n t a i n e r s , t h e y t h e n b e g a n t o a s s i s t t h e o t he r c h i l d r e n a n d w o uld hunt together. H a l l oween: • C hildr en wi t h l ow st ami na: just t ri ck o r tr e a t to th e h o us e s o f th o s e pe o pl e y o u k n o w . S e t a t im e lim it o n how long you will trick or treat. Set an a l a r m o n y o u r c e l l p h o n e o r w a t c h a t t h e h a l f w a y m a r k s o t h a t y o u be gin to tr ic k o r t reat back i n t he d i rect i on o f h o me . T h a t w a y th e ch i l d ma k e s a f ul l r o ute w i th o u t f e e lin g t h e y m issed a ny ho mes. • Children who do not eat by mouth: G o t o t h e d o l l a r s t o r e t o b u y t r i n k e t s o r s m a l l t o y s a p p r o p r i a t e f o r y o u r child. Put a few in different Ziploc bag s f o r g o o d i e b a g s . H a n d t h e m o u t t h e d a y b e f o r e H a l l o w e e n t o t h e n e i ghbors who you know well. Ask them to h a n d t h i s b a g t o y o u r c h i l d i n a d d i t i o n t o c a n d y . T h e n w h e n t h e d u mp ing o f the “l oot ” happens back at ho me , th e r e w i l l be th i n gs th e r e th e ch i l d ca n e n jo y be s id e s c an d y. • No n-ver b al chi l d ren or t hose wi t h so ci a l s k i l l s th a t ma k e i t h a r d to s pe a k to n e w pe o pl e : Hav e s lip s o f p a per already printed up that say somethin g s u c h a s “ M y n a m e i s _ _ _ _ _ _ . I a m s t i l l l e a r n i n g t o ta l k s o t h i s i s m y Ha llo ween Ca lling Card . Tri ck or Treat . Than k y o u. ” Or “ My n a me i s _ _ _ _ _ _ . I a m to o s h y to ta l k i n g r o u p s o r w it h n e w p eo p le, so thi s i s my Hal l oween Cal l i ng Ca r d . T r i ck o r T r e a t. T h a n k y o u. ” A u t ho r : A T exas Mom
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L ov e’s Eterna l C a p ti ve B y D a rrell A. C ador
In heart-felt support Domestic Violence Awareness Month I offer this 2006 piece of mine titled ‘Love’s Eternal Captive’. Kindly share thi s with all you know, and ask that they share it as well. Thanks! Sitting next to a window that welcomes the radiance of a rising sun I look back and watch you sleep. The gentle rise and fall of your torso relaxes me. Heavily sedated by the throws of our twi light passions you lay motionless. Perfectly still. Portrait-like. A subtle breeze brushes against the white chiffon drapes, causing them to sway to the rhythm of a silent melody. As I peer through them, I see all that has made you the coveted woman that you are. Skin, pure as Egyptian gold; Hair, dark, bountiful and free; and a roundness beneath the small of your back that leaves me breathless beyond measure. ‘But why am I here’, you silently ask from a distance. ‘And why am I being held against the strength of my wishes?’ The answer, my dear one, is simple. Because the world you once knew; a world you once loved; a world you believed to care for you, has hurt you for the last and final time. His words, meaningless and shallow, are only soothing when he needs soothing himself. Yet his actions speak volumes against the man he promised you to be. His heart-breaking indiscretions have become the norm. Emotional abuse, neglect, and despair have left you without a means to reason, prompting a disillusioned desire to remain in the hell he’s helped you to create. A hell w here he’s left you desolate and distraught. A hell that I’m determined to save you from. The creak of my antique bed signals to me your awakening from an extended and muchneeded slumber. Yet, as I turn to see the beauty of your face, I smile when I notice that you’ve simply rolled over to the other side of the bed. “Kenny…” The softness of your voice startles me. “I’m right here.” “I’m hungry.” I smile. “Your plate’s in the oven.” “Oh.” Within a blink, s lumber reclaims you, which is just fine with me. Sleep on, my dear one, sleep on; for all that I have, is now all yours. A love you’ve lived a lifetime without, now wraps you like the linens in which you’ve wrapped your beautiful self. The shackles of your troubled past now lay on the floors of a house that will never become a home. And the view that patiently awaits you, no w rests just beyond the sill of a window that has welcomed the radiance of a risen Sun.
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