hanksgiving, truth be told, is the best holiday. You don’t have to worry about giving gifts, there is usually a pretty good meal involved, and the amount of time you have to spend with your family is clearly defined. ere are a few aspects of anksgiving that are completely wrong, though. Some gross violations that I feel the need to address since, well, I am going “bottom shelf” for Turkey Day this year.
e first is without a doubt the worst side dish ever served at any anksgiving, ever: sweet potatoes. Now I know some of you out there are ready to jump to the defense of the yam, but I am not talking about the orange spud per se but rather the way that it is served for anksgiving.
With marshmallows.
Are you kidding? e marshmallow might be the single dumbest food on the planet. When is the last time anyone said: “You know what? I could really go for a few marshmallows right about now!”? If you limit the question to people who are above the age of four, the answer is easy: never. Yet there they are at anksgiving, in their mini-conical shape, on top of an oddly colored food, slathered with either brown sugar or maple syrup. Yeesh.
In my mind marshmallows exist for only one purpose: to be heated, to the point of burning, paired with a chocolate bar, and squeezed between two graham crackers, preferably near a campfire.
e second anksgiving tradition that needs to go away is the Detroit Lions. Not just their traditional anksgiving Day game, but the entire franchise. e Lions have been around forever, and they were
Sparkling:
Gruet Brut Rosé ($15) Why rosé? Pink is more festive.
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