The Stanwix Directory : January 2010 by DiscoverySquare

nick rose · time served plumber gutters repaired and cleaned driveways and conservatories cleaned Dancing for Children and Adults Every Thursday at Warwick on Eden Memorial Hall & Warwick Bridge School

QUICK FRIENDLY SERVICE MOST SMALL MAINTENANCE JOBS

413 london rd t: 598156 m: 07988 798803 claire-nick@live.co.uk

For further details please contact Judith on:

01228 562118 m: 07771 60 6005

Cumbria’s most experienced design and print team Artwork for printing, adverts, internet, packaging and display.

Supporters of local business. Easy Parking; loads of space by the door. Locally-owned; not a franchise.

‘Water, water, everywhere...’ (by our resident artist!)

community magazines:

Ring CLIVE on 01228 513 621

Unit 4 Brunel Way, Durranhill Industrial Estate Carlisle CA1 3NQ (next door but one to BorderTV)

Tel: Carlisle 513 513

Colour copying (the finest there is!) and disk output. Direct mail and marketing solutions; ask for free catalogue.

Cover photo:

COMBINED RATES AVAILABLE

Splitz specialises in modern jazz/ street dance to popular and chart music. Established in Hexham and Warwick Bridge for 26 and 14 years respectively.

High quality printing, both digital and traditional processes in-house.

local

Advertise in your

print@qicprint.co.uk

incorporating

If it ain’t broke, dont fix it! —but if it IS, then call...

Ian Fraser for

repair &

service

Washing machines Fridges and freezers Microwave ovens Tumble dryers Electric cookers Any electrical appliance PROMPT & FLEXIBLE SERVICE & INSTALLATIONS COMPETITIVE RATES

01228

01228 538388 07838 239700

page 16

Please mention Stanwix Directory when responding to adverts

Published by AQA Magazines · Printed by QIC Print, Unit 4 Brunel Way, Durranhill Ind Est, Carlisle CA1 3NQ · Tel: 513 513 · print@qicprint.co.uk

with

561859 30 years or

07947 233631

Jan/Feb 2010 · Distributed Free to most homes north of the river Eden, also online

IENCE EXPER

Dear Neighbours "BRRR, it’s been a bit nippy out. Few people will have imagined when they wished for a traditional white Christmas that the country would have to face a spell of snow which has transformed out landscape for weeks. Should the moral be “be careful what you wish for, you might just get it” or should we look to the old saying “every cloud has a silver lining”. Whilst the news was full of the negative effects of all the snow, perhaps we should “make hay whilst the sun shines” or should that be “make snowmen whilst the snow falls”. There probably won’t be another spell like this for years before were back to the mundane rain. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt if maybe just maybe we took our cue from the kids, “turned our frowns, upside down” and realised if life throws down snowstorm – make a snowball! Have a great 2010! Happy New Year Ed

The Stanwix Advertise in

(for 4,000 homes north of the river)

Ring Clive on 01228 513 621

FREEMASONRY

FOR WOMEN Ladies Lodge operating in Carlisle at the West End Temperance Hall, Wigton Rd, Carlisle

For further information please call Mary on

01228 545770

Quotes for a new year

“

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. Bill Vaughn

”

“

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. Bill Vaughan

”

is something that goes in one year “A New Year's resolution and out the other. ” Author Unknown

“

New Year's Day is every man's birthday Charles Lamb

“

”

The merry year is born Like the bright berry from the naked thorn. Hartley Coleridge

”

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. P.J. O'Rourke

”

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. Mark Twain

”

“People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.” Author Unknown have made, and try always to keep, is this: “One resolutionToI rise above the little things.” John Burroughs Year's if I didn't have regrets.” “It wouldn't be NewWilliam Thomas

Call TONY on .... . S.H.A.R.P, 65 Lowry Gardens, CA3 0GX

page 2

Please mention Stanwix Directory when responding to adverts

Bedroom Furniture Just Bedrooms

page 16

Bed & Breakfast

No.1 Guest House (4starAA) Tel:01228 547285

Bridal Wear

Country Dreams Tel: 539500

page 9

Childcare & Nursery

Stone Eden Nurseries Tel:599400 page 16 Louise English page 15

Clothes Repair Keyishoes

page 5

Roland Lawson 0783 495 9773

page 9

Electrical Repair & Service

another chance for us to get it right.” “Cheers to a new year andOprah Winfrey

“

Listing here is for regular advertisers (free) as well as for businesses trading in this area; a single line entry is only £4 per issue; a second line (maximum number) is a further £1. Paid annually in advance; the nearest relevant heading should be used. Feature any mix of your ad page, phone, web or email contact details.

Driving Instructor

The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The “New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!” Edward Payson Powell

“

Local Index

D C Electrical Northern Vacuums Greg Metcalf

page 1 page 12 page 9

Pink Leaf Catering Alistair Cook Minibus Hire

page 12 page 6

Events & Catering Financial

Financial Concepts Tel: 597986 page 9 Saint & Co page 9

Florist

Flower Time, Stanwix

Funeral Services

Tel 523600

Cumbria Memorials Tel 512888 page 2

Home Improvements Robert Copeland Trade Windows John Fisher Kitchen Living Plastering More Handles Greg Metcalf

Key Cutting

page 12 page 7 page 4 page 1 page 2 page 12 page 9

Keyishoes

page 5

High Society Tel: 792880 Country Dreams

page 8 page 8

No Hands

page 5

Steed

page 9

Ladieswear Massage

Menswear

Nursery

Stone Eden Nurseries Tel:599400 page 16

Opticians & Spectacles Dolores Tel: 409404 RTU Optical Tel: 593300

page 8

Open to the public www.rtuoptical.com

Painting & Decorating Ian Hodgson Decor 8 Lee Shaw

page 15 page 9 page 9

Pink Leaf Catering

page 12

Party Plan Pets

Pet Sitting

page 4

Plumbing

David Howe Tel: 526338 John Fisher

page 13 page 4

QIC Print Tel: 513 513

page 16

Bulman Tel: 597756

page 16

Printing

Property

Restaurants

Botchergate Tandoori 546953 page 12 Fantails Tel: 560239 page 12 The Conservatory Tel: 561888 page 12

Shoe Repair Keyishoes

page 5

Freemasons for Women

page 2

Social

Window Cleaning Eric’s

Tel: 524112

cont from p6

backwards to get people what they want, and our prices are great! What has been your most enjoyable project?

There has been a lot of different and fun moments, but there is one that stands out, A few months ago I had some of the presenters from CFM radio come in for a promotional shoot for their website, this consisted of them getting dressed up in wedding dresses. It’s not every day you have Robbie Dee stripping off in your shop and putting on a wedding dress

Useful Dials Revised and checked for 2010 Accident Legal Line

0500 192939

BT Faultline

0800 800 151

Citizens Advice Bureau

01228 633900

Carlisle City Council

01228 817000

Car Recovery 24hr Childline

Child Protect (NSPCC) County Council

01228 527287

0800 1111

0808 800 5000

01228 606060

Crime Stoppers

0800 555 111

Cruse Bereavement Care 0844 477 9400 Cuedoc/Health On Call

01228 401999

Cumberland Infirmary Dalston Pharmacy Debt Help

Drugs Helpline

01228 523444

01228 541344

0808 808 4000 0800 776600

Electric Emergencies (United Utilities) 0800 195 4141 Environment Agency

Fire & Rescue Service Floodline

Gas Emergencies

Highways & Potholes

0800 807 060

0800 358 4777

0845 988 1188

0800 111 999

0845 609 6609

HealthOnCall NHS Advice 0845 464748 Library (renewals)

Neighbourhood Forum Police HQ

Recycle White Goods

227310

01228 226474

0845 33 00 247

817200

Refuse Disposal

817200

RSPCA Cruelty Reporting 0300 123 4999 Sure Start Carlisle South 01228 625937 Train Times

08457 48 49 50

Legal Help

0845 345 4345

Traveline

0871 200 22 33

0845 46 47 NHS Direct Water Emergencies (United Utilities) 0800 330 033

Who should choose Picture U?

Everyone and anyone, we are already building a great reputation with people coming back, and friends of people who have been are also coming in for pictures. Anyone getting married should book us for their wedding day because again we have already delighted so many people in the short amount of time that we have been open..

To advertise please call 513621 or marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

page 15

Bus Times

Whilst every effort is made to check that these times are accurate at print time, we cannot accept responsibility for errors or later changes.

Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.

Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still." Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint. The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"

You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.

You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.

You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position. Your catch phrase is, "Never again."

You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.

10. Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"

Very Useful Facts

Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible. Coca-Cola would be green if colouring wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t added to it. More people are killed each year from bees than from snakes. More people are allergic to cow's milk than any other food. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, everytime you breathe!

page 14

Please mention Stanwix Directory when responding to adverts

New Year's Day Prayer for One and All

Dear Lord

So far this year I've done well.

I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that.

But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help. Amen

To advertise please call 513621 or marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

page 3

JOHN TREMBLE (Dip.F.D.)

Independent Family Funeral Directors 37 Church Street, Caldewgate, Carlisle CA2 5TL PRIVATE CHAPELS OF REST

MEMORIAL STONES AND ADDITIONAL INSCRIPTIONS

For 24 hour personal caring attention to ALL your funeral requirements call JOHN on 01228 594831 (day or night)

We recommend Golden Charter Pre-paid Funeral Plans

‘We care in your time of need’

Pet Sitting! Carleton, Carlisle CA4 0BU

Tel 01228 524740

We cater for all animals great and small and offer a full range of services to all, at competitive prices and a friendly service

Free Clinics including:

PUPPY & KITTEN CHECKS OLD FRIENDS CLUB Weekly Puppy Playgroup

Caring for all small pets while you are away — a cosy holiday home, all inclusive from just £1 per day. HOME Also DOG WALKING VISIT S Call Amanda on 577470 AVAIL ABLE or 07935 162 844

pc fixer LOW FLAT RATE FEE CHARGED Having problems with your broadband? Is your PC slower than when you bought it? Don’t spend £800 on a new one, your old one might need a visit from PC Fixer

FREE ANTI VIRUS INCLUDED

Call 07984 441 329 or email: repairs@pcfixer.org.uk

every Wednesday 6.00pm - 6.30pm

Dental & Weight Checks Ultra Sound Scanner Purpose-built premises Competitive Pet Shop

coomara@coomara.co.uk

page 4

By Darren Turnbull CFP,DMS,MCIBS Certified Financial Planner 01228 597986 dturnbull@financialconcepts.co.uk http://www.financialconcepts.co.uk

Your Future - Plan It

Now more than ever we recognise the benefits of Financial Planning and the role of professional financial planners. What is Financial Planning?

Financial Planning is the process of developing strategies to help you manage your financial affairs so you can build wealth, enjoy life and achieve financial security. Whether this is taking some simple steps yourself or seeking professional help. Financial Planning is an effective way of meeting your life ambitions without having to worry about your finances. What are Financial Planners?

LOCAL RESIDENT

COOMARA VETERINARY PRACTICE

Financial Planning

Please mention your community magazine when responding to adverts

The role of a qualified professional financial planner is to look at all aspects of your lifestyle. They are able to offer a multi- disciplinary approach to your lifestyle planning drawing upon the highest level of professional qualifications in Financial Planning law and Accountancy.

continued from page 4

orous code of conduct and undertakes regular continuing professional development to enable him to remain as a member of the institute of Financial Planning.

What Services do they Offer?

• A professionally qualified Lifestyle Planner specialises in helping their clients identify, articulate and achieve their lifestyle goals. This can only be done through an in depth examination of a clients current circumstances and future aspirations and is typically achieved through analysis of income and expenditure patterns. Planners may specialise in Personal or Business Financial Planning and are authorised by the Financial Services Authority to provide such investment advice as may be needed to implement the clients lifestyle financial Plan. No products will be recommended however unless essential to the achievement of a clients lifestyle planning needs.

Will they be the only person working with me?

• The Financial Planner may work with you themselves and/or have others in the office who assist them. You may want to meet everybody who will be working with you.

How will I pay for their services?

• By the end of 2012 commission payments to Financial Advisers are likely to be phased out. Most Lifestyle Financial Planners are there-

fore now operating on a fee based business model. For a full lifestyle planning service charges are usually made for preparation of a formal Financial Plan, Implementation of any investments required to achieve the plans outcomes and in respect of ongoing review and revision of the plan.

Your chosen Lifestyle planner should give you written details of such charges before you formally engage in their services. To help you decide whether lifestyle planning is appropriate for you many planners conduct an initial consultation free of charge.

With the recent downturn we believe that people have been forced to become more focused on their income and expenditure and take responsibility for their finances. People have been scared and it is important that we harness that new found conservatism and when things start to pick up which has been in evidence recently the savings they have made can be made to work to their advantage.

We will endeavour to include as much of your relevant donated editorial as possible, but reserve the right to omit or edit as space requires; generally we will send a proof before publishing. Any views expressed are not necessarily shared by the publishers.

The Stanwix

can be used for your: ADVERTORIALS

INSERTED FLYERS

DISPLAY ADVERTISING SIMPLE INDEX LISTING

‘WHO’S WHO’ ARTICLE EDITORIAL

My Dog

I had a dog once called Minton, who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks. Bad Minton.

There are many considerations to make when choosing a financial planner to work with, but one of the main considerations is that they provide suitable advice and solutions in a clear manner that you understand and that the advice is not influenced by sales or remuneration targets. Another important consideration is that you choose a financial planner you can trust and genuinely has your best interests at heart. 5 Questions to Ask

What experience do they have?

• Find out how long the planner has been in practice and the types of client that they have worked with. Make sure that the planner has the experience to offer you true lifestyle planning rather than just selling products. In lifestyle planning experience and high level qualifications should go hand in hand.

What are Their qualifications?

• The term financial planner is used by any financial advisers and you should investigate further rather than taking such a claim at face value. Ask the planner what qualifies him to offer lifestyle planning and whether he is qualified as a Certified Financial planner CM. Employing a certified financial planner CM allows you to relax in the knowledge that your chosen adviser is qualified to a very high standard, has signed up to a rig-

continued on page 13 To advertise please call 01228 513 621 or marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

page 13

Chef’s Notes

Massage with no hands?

With new Head Chef Paul Taylor at the Crown Hotel Wetheral.

Chocolate Truffle Cake with a Shot of Damson Gin

O HANDS MASSAGE® is a dynamic new form of massage conceived and developed by Gerry Pyves. It works because the therapist literally does not use their hands for massage, but instead uses mainly the soft surfaces of the forearms. This means it is deeper and more powerful then conventional massage, working on every level - physical, emotional, spiritual, energetic and mental. You will feel the benefits long after the session had finished. See advert for special offer - £10.00 for a one hour introductory session!

(Serves 10)

450grm Dark Chocolate 70% cocoa solid 1 pint Double cream Cocoa Powder

Crème Fraiche

1 Bottle Damson Gin

To book at The Conservatory Restaurant or Walton’s Bar please telephone 01228 561888

Break the chocolate into pieces and melt in a bowl over simmering water (don't let the chocolate get too hot or it will split) Warm gently the cream then pour into the chocolate mix.

Place an 8" cake ring on a flat plate. Pour in the mixture and set in the fridge for 4 hours. Remove the cake from the ring and dust with cocoa powder.

The placement of a donkey's eyes in its head enables it to see all four feet at all times! Building Works EXTERNAL & INTERNAL

. House Building . Extensions . Kitchens . Fireplaces . Paving . Tiling & Plastering . Renovation work . Agents & Landlords

4 Ashford Way CARLISLE CA1 3LG

Tel: 592202

01228 538388 07838 239700 page 12

or 07525 646 318

COPELAND CONSTRUCTION www.copelandconstruction.co.uk robert@copelandconstruction.co.uk

Please mention your community magazine when responding to adverts

'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.

'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.

This mono space in your community magazine costs from only £16 if regular

Serve with a shot of damson gin and a dollop of crème fraiche.

Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.

On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.

'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly.

Use a hot knife to portion up the slices and serve onto plate.

Great Designs

Lecture Tour with New shoe-repair and key-cutting A Difference

ELECTRICAL ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS ENGINEERS

NORTHERN VACUUMS LIMITED

Cumbria’s Leading Electrical Appliance Centre Showroom: 10 Abbey Street Carlisle 01228 525987

Workshop: 29-33 West Walls Carlisle 01228 524065

We supply, deliver & install most leading brands of:

Washing Machines Fridge Freezers Vacuum Cleaners Tumble Dryers Electric Cookers Built-in Appliances Dishwashers Gas Cookers and many more...

Winners

Fantails Crosswords winners in all 3 titles: R Wicking of Watersmeet and Debbie Beattie of Parklands Ave and W L Hall of Warwick on Eden

and 5 Free Driving Lessons with Roland Lawson won by: Hannah Seaton of Aglionby Grange and Hallmark Hotel Wordsearch winner: Susan Meggs of Naworth Drive

—congratulations!

business

HOE REPAIR & KEY Cutting services are now back in north Carlisle!

Keyishoes has opened in Millbrook Road, Kingstown Industrial Estate mid week and Homebase Car Park on Saturdays.

Other services include: Shoe repairs, car key programming, watch batteries, dry cleaning & blade sharpening. Call Simon on 07584 135 177.

•• •• •• •07584 135177

Shoe Repairs Key Cutting Car Key Programming Watch Batteries & Straps Knife & Scissor Sharpening Dry Cleaning Clothes Repairs & Alterations

enquiries@keyishoes.co.uk www.keyishoes.co.uk

Midweek location: Kingstown Truck Park, Millbrook Road, Kingstown, Carlisle, CA3 0EU Homebase Car Park every Saturday!

Crossword Entry Form A Meal for 2 at The Wheatsheaf

Complete the crossword overleaf, fill in your details below, cut out this section and send to Wheatsheaf Crossword, 75 Cumwhinton Rd, Carlisle CA1 3JB Closing Date March 1st

Name ............................................................ Tel: ................................................................ Address: ........................................................ ...................................................................... ...................................................................... Email: ............................................................

To advertise please call 513621 or marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

page 5

Spotlight on a local business Picture U

This months spotlight is on Picture U Studio, owner Andrew Coleman provides us with a little insight into the running of his local business. Have you always been a professional photographer?

No, I was a keen amateur for many years, since I was a child in fact.

So why the jump into running your own business? I have always wanted to run a business and seeing as I’ve done and enjoyed photography for years it seemed like a logical step What can you tell us about a regular day?

I spend a large part of the day editing photos on the computer, stopping to attend to my customers that come in to either preview their pictures and/or enquire about weddings etc. How important is the internet to your business?

The internet is very important as a lot of my communication relies upon e-mail, I also get enquires in through my website. I probably wouldn’t have been anywhere near as busy as I am now without it What advice do you have for someone thinking of starting up their own business? Think it through thoroughly, get lots of advice, sit

the valuable courses ran by the chamber of commerce/business link etc, go out and speak to small business owner like me and see if it’s for you. A lot of people I spoke to said don’t do it, but its right for some and not for others. Just be aware of exactly what you’re going into. What do you enjoy most about your job?

The day to day running can be quite be quite stressful and challenging in the busy periods, trying to find enough money to pay bills can be a worry too, so it’s not all a bed of roses, but the best bits are having no boss, doing something I enjoy for a living, meeting and working with new people and seeing people delighted with their pictures.

We provided an article on you when you first opened, how has life changed since then?

It is somewhat different now! Back in the opening days I was very quiet and spent a lot of my days making use of the BBC iplayer, and YouTube, I couldn’t even dream of doing this now, there seems to be loads to do every day. I regularly end up staying back at night, and also bringing work home to keep me going till bed time. What’s the secret behind a great photograph? Now there’s a question, as well as usually following a few photographic rules, you need a good natural eye for composition through the viewfinder, a good technical knowledge of your camera and equipment. A stupidly expensive

Prize Crossword

Sponsored by The Wheatsheaf, Wetheral

Fill in your details on the form overleaf and send in your completed entry for a chance to win . . .

A Meal for 2 at The Wheatsheaf, Wetheral

What camera would you recommend to a keen amateur photographer? It depends how keen, If they’re looking for an SLR it’s a straight choice between the 2 market leaders Canon and Nikon, The picture qualities are so close now it comes down to the extra features, I have chosen Nikon simply because they are faster, enabling me to capture that moment easier. They have exceptional low light capabilities and are much more ergonomic. If you’re looking for a compact then again I would go for Canon or Nikon. Canon do seem to have the edge in picture quality in this market however it is close, and again I think it comes down to features that each individual wants from there camera. Being responsible for your business, is it difficult to switch off once the doors to the store have been locked? Yes, I’m normally quite good at switching off from things, but when your livelihood depends upon it, in the busy times there is work to take home so it’s physically impossible to switch off. When it’s quiet I’m sat trying to work out the next strategy to generate new business, and thinking about things like shop layout, window displays, DIY that’s needed etc

Why should people choose Picture U? Because we’re very customer and people orientated, we’re friendly and helpful. We bend over continued on page 15

Across

7. Wise choice to visit this seaside resort (9) 8. Lass originally from South West Ireland (5) 10. Drink wild beer to confuse and lose bearings (8) 11. Portable sleeper isn’t down but could be if not careful (6) 12. Giant gorilla is partly from China (4) 13. Eli clears bilge to meet the required standards (8) 15. The song says it wants me, but I don't want to go to the 19th US state (7) 17. Just think, in the picture you will have it (7) 20. Gent must travel here for neckwear I hear (8) 22. Watery abode for monster north of the border (4) 25. American gals can be found in Norfolk (6) 26. Practice is about the funeral car (8) 27. Cold home but you can’t turn up the heat! (5) 28. Ideal mountain to get a sweet slice (9)

Down

page 6

camera helps but is not as important as people think.

1. Fifty on six balls in port (5) 2. Capital city heard to be South of the border, that way (6) 3. Woolly garment worn at the bay (8) 4. Detest little Edward I heard and so terminated (7) 5. Transporting across the Mersey maybe? (8) 6. Don’t expect to find deciduous trees here in this colourful country (9) 9. Bail out over Indonesian island (4) 14. Safe mooring place in Alaska (9) 16. Mimic has correct ratio Timothy (8) 18. Popular resort at pit top (8) 19. Smelly task is it? (7) 21. Found in Donegal South as well (4) 23. Puts off the engine failures (6) 24. A bird gets to the dam in Egypt (5) Please mention Stanwix Directory when responding to adverts

The Cheque is in the post NIGEL JOHNSON-HILL, PARKFARM, MILLAND, LIPHOOK GU30 7]T 16 Dec 2009 Rt Hon David Miliband MP Secretary of State. Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), Nobel House 17 Smith Square London SWLP 3JR Dear Secretary of State, My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs. I would now like to join the "not rearing pigs" business. In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and whats the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy. I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want not rearing, 1 will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these? As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an accurate record of how many pigs I havn't reared. Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this? My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968. That is - until this year, when he received a cheque for not rearing any. If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not rearing 100? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year, for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department. Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all these pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gases? Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don't rear? I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send any information you have on that too. Please could you also include the current Defra advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)? In view_pf the above you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits. I shall of course be voting for your party in the next general election. Yours faithfully, Nigel Johnson-Hill

Use your... The Carleton

The Village Link

(for Carleton & Parkland Village)

The Stanwix

(for Wetheral & Scotby) (for north of the river)

... for your AWARENESS* as well as your RESPONSE* advertising *Awareness advertising is

simply to keep your name in front of customers; they get to trust you and know where you are.

*Response advertising usually

involves coupons or a direct and immediate offer, often with a time limit, for measurable response. ADVERTORIALS

INSERTED FLYERS

DISPLAY ADVERTISING SIMPLE INDEX LISTING

‘WHO’S WHO’ ARTICLE EDITORIAL

Ring Clive on 01228 513 621

To advertise please call 513621 or marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

page 11

Great Signs

Sign on a plumber’s van: “We repair what your husband fixed” Another sign on a plumber’s van: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber” On a Maternity Unit door: “Push. Push! Push!!!”

On a Taxidermist window: “We Really Know Our Stuff”

At a Car Exhaust garage: “No appointment necessary; we hear you coming!”

In a Vet waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes; Sit! Stay!” In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up”

At a Gynaecologists office: “Dr Jones, at your cervix”

Foreign Signs

STEED

BESPOKE TAILORS EST. 1995

Gents made to measure suits starting from £695 and made to measure shirts from £75

Gift Vouchers available

7 Junction Street, Carlisle 12 Savile Row, London

01228 599555

www.steed.co.uk

250 full-colour cards for only £39 from your PDF file, or just £57 with our super artwork included! Superfast service. The WEB is the FIRST PLACE that people look for goods and services

At Norwegian Cocktail lounge: “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar” At a Rome doctors surgery: “Specialist in Women and other Diseases”

In East Africa newspaper report; “A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers” At travel agency: “Please Go Away”

At dry cleaners: We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.”

page 10

Please mention your community magazine when responding to adverts

... from your own diskfile or our artwork, with print runs as low or as high as you need... all at GUARANTEED BEST VALUE prices... and no VAT!

For further details call Edwin on

At a Hong Kong tailors: “Ladies may have a fit upstairs”

At Moscow hotel: “If this is your first visit to USSR you are welcome to it”

Cumbria’s most experienced design and team offer you the BEST VALUE in both digital and traditional print and design

also—

Coordinated artwork for Coordinated artwork for websites, printing, adverts, websites, printing, adverts, internet, packaging internet, packaging Colour copying and disk output. Colour copying and disk output. Easy Parking; loads of space by Easydoor. Parking; loads of space by the the door. Locally-owned; not a franchise. Locally-owned; not a franchise.

Single-page web presence for only £79 Includes domain name, professional matching e-mail address and link to your existing email, production based on your text and pictures, optimisation of text for searches, hosting for the rest of the year, and submission to search engines. Typical multi-page website usually about £250 Includes domain name, professional matching e-mail address and link to your existing email, production of many pages based on your text and pictures, optimisation of all text, titles and pics for searches, hosting for the rest of the year, and submission to search engines. incorporating

Ask to see sample sites, and discuss your marketing needs:

BEST VALUE PRINTING FOR SMALL BUSINESSES Brunel Way · Durranhill Ind Est Carlisle CA1 3NQ

t: 01228 513 621 e: graphics@sky.com oak lane · carlisle · ca1 3sw strategic marketing · e-publishing · internet management

Telephone:

513 513 print@qicprint.co.uk

To advertise please call 01228 513 621 or marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

page 7

Fashion

High Society

Happy New You!

WEDDING, OCCASIONAL & GENERAL STOCK

ELL HERE WE ARE, well and truly into the New Year and let’s hope it’s a better one especially with recent events both locally and nationally helping us to put things into perspective. So lets not beat ourselves up if we’ve put on a couple of extra pounds or spent a few more than we should have over the festive season, it’s good to treat ourselves from time to time and others too.

17 swan street

longtown

01228 792880

Is size and fashion so important? Surely it’s about who you are, how you feel, having a confidence in yourself, in what you wear, making it your own and creating your own style.

Very few of us are 100% happy with our size or shape “my boobs are too big, my tummy to round, ahhh my hips!”

It’s really about knowing you body - big boobs get fitted with a good bra – wear a shallow ‘V’ neck this creates an illusion of length, rather than a polo which just accentuates it. Large hips? then go for an A Line skirt or a skirt or dress that skims rather than fits too tightly – create interest with a great piece of jewellery. It’s also about the art of disguise so thank you Trinny, Suzannah, Gok and Spanx!!!

page 8

Pass Plus registered

Tel: 0783 495 9773

FREE LESSON

on presentation of this Directory! Make the Right Move…

But what is STYLE? - Is it that little black dress? Perhaps if accessorised with ropes of pearls, gloves, or even shades or a classic pair of jeans worn with a brilliant white T, a well cut jacket and a pair of loafers – we all have our own ideas - it’s not about what you wear but how you wear it and pull it all together.

We all make mistakes, none of us get it right all the time, but hopefully we can learn from our mistakes, eventually finding a style that evolves with us.

The Key to Safe Driving for Life

Semi & Intensive Training Discounts fo Professionally S Police Trained tudents & Blo r c Advanced Driver Bookings k

We are all individual and unique, do we really want that must have dress of which there are at least a dozen on the rail (in the high street) in the current seasons colour/print, with the on trend accessories.

Take Coco Chanel she created her own style by adapting men’s shirts, trousers and jackets, creating a range of classic styles unique to her at a time when fashionable women were flamboyantly overdressed. A style that still inspires today

PROFESSIONAL DRIVING INSTRUCTOR

Motorway Tuition

This is the time of year when magazines, TV lifestyle programmes and the high street are telling us to how to achieve that perfect figure, that must have look and what’s hot and not for spring/summer 2010.

Style is not about beauty, your size or the size of your bank account, style is ageless, and it gives others a view of who you are.

ROLAND LAWSON

Style is hard to define, but I think most of us know it when we see it, be it simple and elegant, bold or quirky, its about knowing yourself and being happy with who you are!

For professional independent financial advice and a first class service contact Darren Turnbull Certified Financial Planner on 01228 597986 for an appointment now. F Pensions F Investments F Life Assurance & Income Protection F Mortgages F Equity Release F Tax Planning F Business Protection

…for all your Business & Personal Finances • One Dedicated Contact •FREE Initial Consultation

01228 534371

Our initial consultation is free and without obligation.

409 404

dolores.marshall@btconnect.com

NHS AND PRIVATE PATIENTS WELCOME

Please mention your community magazine when responding to adverts

13 05 06 23

FEB MAR MAR MAR

DAY TRIPS

METRO CENTRE; JAN SALES YORK SHOPPING LEEDS SHOPPING ALTON TOWERS INC ADMISSION LOCKERBIE ICE RINK (INC SKATE HIRE) WET N WILD NORTH SHIELDS METRO CENTRE LIVERPOOL FC TOUR & DOCKS CONCORDE TOUR, MANCHESTER METRO CENTRE EDINBURGH SHOPPING TRAFFORD CENTRE CHESHIRE OAKS BURY MARKET TRAFFORD CENTRE MOTHERS DAY MYSTERY & TEA MORECAMBE MARKET NORTHUMBRIA TOUR BOUNDARY MILL & FISH/CHIP LUNCH

£8.00 £13,00 £13.00 £29.50 £10.00 £8.00 £8.00 TBC £25.00 £8.00 £13.00 £13.00 £13.00 £13.00 £13.00 £22.00 £10.00 £13.00 £19.00

‘CHICAGO’ NEWCASTLE THEATRE ELVIS ON SCREEN NEWCASTLE KATHERINE JENKINS NEWCASTLE MOTOWN 4 TOPS, TEMPTATIONS, DRIFTERS, 3 DEGREES, NEWCASTLE 03 APRIL CALENDAR GIRLS NEWCASTLE 06 APR STAR WARS CONCERT NEWCASTLE 18 MAY ROD STEWART NEWCASTLE

£38.00 £52.00 £63.00

SHOWS

£57.00 £38.00 £69.00 £88.00

CALL AT OUR TRAVEL SHOP OR RING FOR A FULL LIST OF DAY TRIPS & 2009 HOLIDAYS

www.irvings-coaches.co.uk

Next Issue

of your community magazine: You can advertise in this publication from as little as £4 per issue! The distribution is reliable; there is also an online version: www.aqamagazines.co.uk

Just ask CLIVE on 513 621 or

interior and exterior decorators

Opticians Tel: 01228

JAN FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB MAR MAR MAR MAR MAR MAR MAR MAR

www.saint.co.uk

Dolores Marshall 29a Fisher St (opposite Cranstons)

30 06 13 14 15 17 18 19 20 26 27 03 06 10 13 14 18 20 26

marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

Financial Concepts (Carlisle) Ltd, Eden House, The Crescent, Carlisle, CA1 1QN www.financialconcepts.co.uk dturnbull@financialconcepts.co.uk Financial Concepts is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority The Financial Services Authority does not regulate taxation advice. Your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your mortgage.

3A THE CRESCENT, CARLISLE Tel: 01228 521777 BOOKING OFFICE Tel: 01228 521666 PRIVATE HIRE

QUALITY PAINTING AND DECORATING

ing er hang ting Wallpap d exterior pain n a r Interio service ice Friendly ates and adv m ti s Free e

01228 549594 Tel: 0796 708 7348 Mobile: leroy_shaw@hotmail.com

DECOR8

Cumbria

a friendly, family team free quotations available insurance work undertaken with 35 years experience

we’ve got it COVERED!

m:07769 613038 t: 594445 e:decor8@richardirving.com

To advertise please call 513621 or marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

page 9

Fashion

High Society

Happy New You!

WEDDING, OCCASIONAL & GENERAL STOCK

17 swan street

longtown

01228 792880

Is size and fashion so important? Surely it’s about who you are, how you feel, having a confidence in yourself, in what you wear, making it your own and creating your own style.

Very few of us are 100% happy with our size or shape “my boobs are too big, my tummy to round, ahhh my hips!”

page 8

Pass Plus registered

Tel: 0783 495 9773

FREE LESSON

on presentation of this Directory! Make the Right Move…

We all make mistakes, none of us get it right all the time, but hopefully we can learn from our mistakes, eventually finding a style that evolves with us.

The Key to Safe Driving for Life

Semi & Intensive Training Discounts fo Professionally S Police Trained tudents & Blo r c Advanced Driver Bookings k

PROFESSIONAL DRIVING INSTRUCTOR

Motorway Tuition

Style is not about beauty, your size or the size of your bank account, style is ageless, and it gives others a view of who you are.

ROLAND LAWSON

Style is hard to define, but I think most of us know it when we see it, be it simple and elegant, bold or quirky, its about knowing yourself and being happy with who you are!

…for all your Business & Personal Finances • One Dedicated Contact •FREE Initial Consultation

01228 534371

Our initial consultation is free and without obligation.

409 404

dolores.marshall@btconnect.com

NHS AND PRIVATE PATIENTS WELCOME

Please mention your community magazine when responding to adverts

13 05 06 23

FEB MAR MAR MAR

DAY TRIPS

£8.00 £13,00 £13.00 £29.50 £10.00 £8.00 £8.00 TBC £25.00 £8.00 £13.00 £13.00 £13.00 £13.00 £13.00 £22.00 £10.00 £13.00 £19.00

£38.00 £52.00 £63.00

SHOWS

£57.00 £38.00 £69.00 £88.00

CALL AT OUR TRAVEL SHOP OR RING FOR A FULL LIST OF DAY TRIPS & 2009 HOLIDAYS

www.irvings-coaches.co.uk

Next Issue

of your community magazine: You can advertise in this publication from as little as £4 per issue! The distribution is reliable; there is also an online version: www.aqamagazines.co.uk

Just ask CLIVE on 513 621 or

interior and exterior decorators

Opticians Tel: 01228

JAN FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB FEB MAR MAR MAR MAR MAR MAR MAR MAR

www.saint.co.uk

Dolores Marshall 29a Fisher St (opposite Cranstons)

30 06 13 14 15 17 18 19 20 26 27 03 06 10 13 14 18 20 26

marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

3A THE CRESCENT, CARLISLE Tel: 01228 521777 BOOKING OFFICE Tel: 01228 521666 PRIVATE HIRE

QUALITY PAINTING AND DECORATING

ing er hang ting Wallpap d exterior pain n a r Interio service ice Friendly ates and adv m ti s Free e

01228 549594 Tel: 0796 708 7348 Mobile: leroy_shaw@hotmail.com

DECOR8

Cumbria

a friendly, family team free quotations available insurance work undertaken with 35 years experience

we’ve got it COVERED!

m:07769 613038 t: 594445 e:decor8@richardirving.com

To advertise please call 513621 or marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

page 9

Great Signs

On a Taxidermist window: “We Really Know Our Stuff”

At a Car Exhaust garage: “No appointment necessary; we hear you coming!”

In a Vet waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes; Sit! Stay!” In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up”

At a Gynaecologists office: “Dr Jones, at your cervix”

Foreign Signs

STEED

BESPOKE TAILORS EST. 1995

Gents made to measure suits starting from £695 and made to measure shirts from £75

Gift Vouchers available

7 Junction Street, Carlisle 12 Savile Row, London

01228 599555

www.steed.co.uk

250 full-colour cards for only £39 from your PDF file, or just £57 with our super artwork included! Superfast service. The WEB is the FIRST PLACE that people look for goods and services

At Norwegian Cocktail lounge: “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar” At a Rome doctors surgery: “Specialist in Women and other Diseases”

In East Africa newspaper report; “A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers” At travel agency: “Please Go Away”

At dry cleaners: We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.”

page 10

Please mention your community magazine when responding to adverts

... from your own diskfile or our artwork, with print runs as low or as high as you need... all at GUARANTEED BEST VALUE prices... and no VAT!

For further details call Edwin on

At a Hong Kong tailors: “Ladies may have a fit upstairs”

At Moscow hotel: “If this is your first visit to USSR you are welcome to it”

Cumbria’s most experienced design and team offer you the BEST VALUE in both digital and traditional print and design

also—

Ask to see sample sites, and discuss your marketing needs:

BEST VALUE PRINTING FOR SMALL BUSINESSES Brunel Way · Durranhill Ind Est Carlisle CA1 3NQ

t: 01228 513 621 e: graphics@sky.com oak lane · carlisle · ca1 3sw strategic marketing · e-publishing · internet management

Telephone:

513 513 print@qicprint.co.uk

To advertise please call 01228 513 621 or marketing@aqamagazines.co.uk

page 7

Spotlight on a local business Picture U

This months spotlight is on Picture U Studio, owner Andrew Coleman provides us with a little insight into the running of his local business. Have you always been a professional photographer?

No, I was a keen amateur for many years, since I was a child in fact.

We provided an article on you when you first opened, how has life changed since then?

Prize Crossword