The Works of Dan Wiseman

THE WORKS OF DAN WISEMAN

A Complete Portfolio of Creative Writing

Photo provided by Banksy.co.uk

TABLE OF CONTENTS

About The Author

4

Preface

5

Surgeon’s General Warning

8

Online Dating

9

The Smirk

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dan Wiseman is the first of his extended family to go to school for Art. The men in his family have either graduated in or are currently working in Finance, which makes him feel out of place at family gatherings. To compensate for his inability to related to his relatives, he is also getting a minor in Computer Science. This beast of a minor has pushed his Graduation date to what he sees as the unforeseeable future. However, the heavy emphasis in math that computer science requires has given him a better understanding of how the members in his family operate.

After attending the University of Wyoming for two years, Dan moved back to Omaha to continue to learn about himself. For example, he recently become aware of how consistently inconsistent he is when it comes to finishing the large amounts of side projects he starts. He will finish those projects some day, but that won’t be until figures out how to manage his time like an adult, which he hopes is soon.

Not the best at making good first impressions, the majority of Dan’s personality consists of pure sarcasm. Deep down he must really like wasting money because of how much he blows at the bars and eating out. He uses school as an excuse not to get a job claiming school is his job. When he isn’t working he is usually catching up on sleep or watching bad movies on Netflix. The types of movies he enjoys are the ones that help him escape the present moment. In a similar fashion, music calms him so he can stay productive. The one type of music that can ruin the present moment, or even the rest of his day, is Country music. There was plenty of that in Wyoming.

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PREFACE This body of work consists of two poems and a short story, which are heavily influenced by various feelings, opinions and past experiences of mine. Included in these experiences are interactions with friends, enemies and strangers. The processes I used in all three pieces consisted mostly or writing out all my thoughts before I carefully organized their structure. I also reworded several lines and sentences until they fit the way I wanted them too, which took a long time to successfully accomplish.

Surgeon’s General Warning is a hate poem I chose to write over a love poem. It is more specifically a poem about a former friend I still run into every now and again.

Based on the agony this person caused me, it was important that this poem captured two aspects of his character. The first was showing the extent to which most people are drawn to his alluring personality. The second and more important aspect of his character that needed to be expressed was how he is incapable of change, even to this day.

This was the first poem I have ever written and is something I am proud of.

The first draft was lacking in a lot of the imagery it needed to be successful as well as clarity. After much revision, Surgeon’s General Warning is now filled with imagery that emphasizes the negative qualities of this person as major themes of the poem.

Online Dating is a poem I wrote that started out as an exercise that was suppose to develop our ability to extend metaphors. This poem compares online dating to ordering fast food. I do not think is was my most successful poem but I do think there are good examples of how online dating can be misleading like fast food but still works for some people. The revisions I made to it exclude lines that weren’t as successful as others or

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PREFACE just did not fit. I also included a few more images that the poem was missing the first time through.

In transitioning to short stories, I found it to be much more challenging. While poetry can be more abstract, short stories need more detail that give background information to characters, as well as their setting. Finding the right balance of detail was the challenge I had the most trouble with. However, it clicked while I was writing The Smirk now I feel confident in my creative writing skills.

The short story, The Smirk, consists of characters that are based on two close friends and the different relationships they had with their girlfriends. In addition, I inserted myself as the main character, David, who goes through a combination of painful situations I had only experienced individually. In mixing my two experiences, I was hoping to emphasize the displaced feeling I had during both. In my revisions I included more insight into how David was feeling during the climax of the story as well as implementing subtle changes to dialogue to make a more consistent flow throughout the story.

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POETRY

SURGEON’S GENERAL WARNING The pungent taste of his cologne lingers In the air, it mixes with harsh Wintergreen Chew being spat into his empty beer bottle He, on the edge of his bed, Us, on the greasy floor Observing his lack of skill in playing the guitar His story begins with a painful hiccup, then belch The aroma of his disgusting nature, now complete I can tell nothing has changed Lies, still his weapon of choice The innocent, still his target And his reward, still unknown Still struggling with the chord from before His story changes shape, adjusting to his audience Mixing lies with just the right amount of truth My poor friend, a first-grader during story time Legs crossed, hands folded, rocking with excitement A gasp, then a giggle, followed by a, “Then what?”

Each time he asks, an ulcer forms on his bottom lip I can tell nothing will ever change His lies will continue to entangle His targets will continue to swell And his prize will remain unknown But I know, I am the only solution, hiding in plain sight Enduring his presence, we are bound forever With opposite intentions, I caution all his prey Exposing the toxicity that lies so deeply within Toxicity that will be felt, but can never be seen I have become the Surgeon’s General Warning The last line of defense, before his can opens.

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ONLINE DATING With your busy career as your only excuse You realize you have put off dinner for too long That aching hunger slowly creeping up on you Alone, it becomes hard to know what to do You think about the convenience of fast food Knowing it is the only choice you have left.

It is unhealthy, if it isn’t used responsibly Unable to take the time to cook or shop It can easily become a part of a routine.

Overwhelmed with choices to be made Singles turn into Double cheeseburgers.

It is deceptive, if it isn’t taken seriously Enchanted by the photos they provide It can diminish all hopes of fulfillment.

Trusting they will take care of your every need, Lemonade begins to taste like Mountain Dew. But Fast Food can also be a miracle.

After all those bad experiences, leaving you horrified.

Expectations are low, but your timing is never better Your order comes out the way you’ve always imagined The empty feeling in your stomach fills up with butterflies Completely satisfied, your aching hunger suddenly disappears

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SHORT STORY

THE SMIRK “This is taking forever!” Lauren said, closing her eyes to the stars.

“I know, but trust me when I say it’s totally worth the wait,” Mallory said Yet again, David had found himself in an uncomfortable situation he could not escape. He was stuck in a dense line for a nightclub he never knew existed. Strangers invaded his personal space, stepping on his feet and attacking his face with alcohol breath. He just stood there, holding in all of the little frustrations, hoping the night would end.

Originally, David thought the night would consist of grabbing a couple drinks with two of his childhood friends at their favorite sports bar. However, Ben’s psychotic girlfriend changed their plans, shortly after inviting herself along.

“Just be glad we didn’t go to the bar these guys always go to,” Mallory said.

“Why?” Lauren asked, looking back at Jared.

Lauren, Jared’s newest girlfriend, was experiencing Mallory for the first time.

Of course, once Jared found out Mallory was coming, he invited Lauren so he wouldn’t have to converse with Mallory all night. David didn’t mind Lauren tagging along because, unlike Mallory, Lauren was normal.

“That place is gross,” she complained, “The food is so bad for you! It’s horrifying!”

“It’s not that bad,” Jared replied.

“Oh my god, yes it is!” she argued.

“If you eat there too often, maybe.”

“You mean, if you eat there everyday like you three do?” she asked, with sass.

“What? We don’t eat there as often as you think,” Ben explained.

“Whatever, “ she said, rolling her eyes.

This sports bar had been the place their dad’s had taken them to after baseball every Saturday and had been their own tradition ever since. It was a tradition David

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THE SMIRK took serious and was very dear to his heart. But, with Ben dating Mallory and Jared moving around so often for work, the tradition started dying off. This wasn’t the first time Mallory changed their plans, but it still bothered the hell out of David.

“I like you, Lauren. You’re cute,” Mallory told her.

The random compliment caught her off guard. “Oh, thank you,” she responded,

with a slight chuckle.

“Now we just have to find someone for David,” she exclaimed, “which may

take a while.”

Everyone looked at David and smiled, waiting to see how he would react.

“Yeah,” he replied, trying his best to smile. He was already fed up with her

arrogant personality, but was able to contain his anger. Trying to divert her attention elsewhere, he quickly asked, “So, how long has this place been around?”

Disappointed with the reaction she got, she took it a step further and asked,

“Don’t you ever get tired of being the 5th wheel?”

They erupted into laughter. Looking up from his phone, he waited for their

laughter to stop. Just as David was about to say something, the club doors opened. A group of four girls exited, then the line shifted forward as the people in front of them entered the club. The quick interruption kept David from speaking his mind.

As they reached the front of the line, a seven-foot ogre with the letters “SECURITY” across his black shirt stood between them and the entrance. The pale skin on his bald head and crossed forearms reflected the green light from the neon sign above the receded doorway.

There was a brief moment of awkward silence before Mallory took it upon

herself to speak to the giant. She took a step closer to Ben, grabbing his hand then

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asked the Security guard, “How is your night going?”

THE SMIRK Picking up on the condescension in her tone, the security guard went from grumpy to angry almost instantly. His head slowly moved downward making eye contact with Mallory. After a couple of intense seconds of silence, his focus shifted from her to the rest their group. In the same condescending manner he let out a single laugh as he gave a subtle smirk, and then went back to starring at nothing.

Ben nudged her with his shoulder and whispered, “Mal!” “What? He’s the one being rude!” she blurted out, two feet in front of him.

Completely shocked, they looked at him waiting for a reaction. Instead of socking her in the face like they expected, his grumpy face faded and was replaced by the smirk from before. They look back at her in total bewilderment.

This time Jared jabbed her in the ribs, violently whispering, “Are you high?”

“Ouch! That hurt!” she squealed.

Another group of five girls exited the club, breaking up the little incident. The security guard let out a big sigh before taking a step towards Mallory. He held out his hand and waited for her driver’s license. Of course, Mallory did not have it ready like everyone else in line so she began digging in her purse.

“Here let him check mine while you find yours, “ Ben said very practically.

“No, stop! It’s right here, I swear, “ she snapped. “Be patient for once in your life Ben! God!” Ben looked completely embarrassed, for he knew everyone in line was watching them. This is usually what it was like being out in public with them, which was why David dreaded it. He never understood why Ben puts up with her crap. He does everything for her and its never enough.

“Found it!” she blurted out proudly, “I told you it was right here.”

She gave it to the security guard and impatiently waited for him to give it back.

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THE SMIRK Looking back and forth between the ID and her face, he cleared her to go in. As he handed it back to her, his other arm reached for the next ID. “I’ll see you guys inside!” she said, eagerly opening the door.

Ben was next to enter, followed by Lauren. Once Jared was cleared to enter, he bolted after Lauren.

When it was David’s turn he tried handing his ID to the guard, but he wouldn’t take it from him. He slowly moved back in front of the doorway, as he made eye contact with David. He hesitantly lowered his outstretched arm, realizing that the guard wasn’t going to let him in.

A little annoyed by the mistake, David looked around to see if anyone else saw what he did. He turned back to the security guard, “Excuse me, are you going to let me in? I’m with the group you just let in.”

Waiting for a response, he realized he wouldn’t be getting one.

“Excuse me! You only let four people in. You’re supposed to let in the same amount that came out.” He tried to explain as his anger continued to swell.

The silence continued only infuriating him. He turned to the people behind him in line as if they would help, but he was met by shrugs as they continued with their conversations.

“Thanks, thanks for the help, “ he snapped at them sarcastically.

He continued waiting in line shaking his head. As he stood there, his thoughts were consumed by all of little things that enraged him. In his head he began cursing at everyone, even his childhood friends that didn’t seem to notice his absence in the club. As time progressed, his angry thoughts ran out, leaving him to question the reason he continued to let people control what he did. Not just people, but people who

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supposedly cared about him. Too many times he had gone out of his way to please his

THE SMIRK friends and for what? To continue a tradition that was already dead?

Suddenly, all his anger was relinquished and a state of calmness set over him. His revelation had replaced his wrathful thinking with rational decision making.

David didn’t even want to be there in the first place. This was the chance he had been looking for all night. He closed his eyes and let out a quick sigh of relief.

“Thank you,” David said.

Puzzled at first, the security guard looked down at him while he stepped out of the line.

“Seriously, thank you,” he repeated, as he looked directly into security guard’s eyes and gave him a subtle smirk.

The security guard gave David the slightest of nods, just as he, too, began to smirk.

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