TANGLED
parenting
M
y daughter’s hair has been a problem. It’s tangled — a lot. It is long. She hates to have it brushed. She plays outside and lets it flow
behind, above and below her. It becomes a rat’s nest of tangles needing attention.
When the brush comes out, I feel like I’m introducing her first experience with suffering. I hate that. I don’t want to hurt her, but the hair will not get better on its own. She needs my help. Her little eyes beg me to stop. She squirms. She tries to be strong. I hold her close in my arms, hoping to make it easier, but in the end there’s just no way around it. Once the tangles are there, it’s just gonna take a bit of work, and sometimes pain, to straighten them out. Every time I ask her to have faith, I’ve got her best interests at heart. I don’t know if she believes me. I don’t blame her. I have the same kind of struggles with God. Romans 8:28 says, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God who are called according to his purpose.” But when that includes struggle, I often doubt. We all have tangles woven into our lives. Little sins and big sins mix together into a rat’s nest of mess we aren’t able to fully untangle on our own. We need God’s help. I wish my 7-year-old understood that coming to me sooner, rather than later, will make the struggle smaller, the pain less, the fight easier. She makes it worse when she pulls away from me. But like her, I often delay getting God’s help. I pull away. It’s so much easier to resist correction, change and the daily need to adjust. Sometimes, I resist so long that the rat’s nest seems impossible to straighten. But of course, that is never the case. God is always there to gently offer correction — to hold us close through the pain of getting things straightened out and promises we will not be disappointed. Romans also states, “... suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces HOPE.” (5:3-4) If we let him, God will gently work through the mess and straighten the paths of our lives. Whatever your problem, take it to God. He longs to take care of your tangles. It may not be easy, but he will hold you close, just like I hold my daughter, and kiss your brow and set you off again when the suffering is done with a stronger hold of hope in your heart.
K a re n Ri d d e r
is a parishioner at St. James Parish in Liberty and a convert to the Catholic Faith. She graduated from the University of Missouri School of Journalism and has written for numerous publications in the Kansas City area. Karen and her husband Jeff have three sons and a daughter.
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Catholic Key • June/July 2022 • catholickey.org
