COLORFUL WOMEN THOUGHTS AND STORIES - SERIES 2
HAIR My hair says Freedom Unbound Beauty Elegance Real Truthful This is not a fad for me. A thing to do because of a celebrity on the cover of Vogue or Ebony This hair is me. After years of hot combs and chemicals used to look like someone else and fit in Nah – no more of that. No longer for me. Braids, twisted shaved on one side, dreadlocks, nappiness that you can put your fingers in but not get your hand through. Strong Vulnerable Flexible Lovely
FACE I want to be beautiful for you.
I remove the eyelashes, eyeliner, the blush and highlights. I wipe off the foundation and concealer. I remove my lipstick.
BACK For years, I have been staring at you from behind, hoping you would finally turn around.Wondering what I could do, say, create to get your attention. I realized that you do not see me. But if being me is not enough. If my brilliance and my light do not make you wonder, “who is she�, then maybe I am focusing on something that is not for me. Perhaps, I should turn around and see if I am missing someone remarkable.
SOUL Look into my eyes.
Do you see her?
Yes
You see her. What does she look like? What is she doing?
I wake up at weird times of day, like 2:48 AM, trying to catch her asleep or maybe dancing, but she is always sitting with her legs crossed, staring outward, smiling.
She talks to me. She tells me to hold on when the day is hard. She tells me I am brilliant when I feel like the stupidest person around. She reminds me not to judge, to be honest, be kind and be true. She reminds me that I am beautiful and the world, even in its darkest, is beautiful too. She knows things and every single day, I listen to her earnestly knowing that what she says is truth, no matter how crazy it may seem.
You know what she told me about you? Even the first time I saw you? She said you sparkle and that I should pay attention to you. It took me months to listen. Silly me.
HANDS Your hands are soft and warm. Touch Electricity slowly transferring from you to me. Up my arm to my heart.
My hands can do a thousand things Twist my hair, paint, write list, lock the door, pinch my nephew’s cheek, rub the top of my niece’s head. My hands hold my head in despair and wipe the tears away. Clean the two-day old dishes and the week old laundry.Turn the page of the Dostoyevsky novel, place the needle on Duke Ellington’s record, right before the first note of Mood Indigo. My hands can do a thousand things Pray and pray again. Come together in prayer and apart when prayer is over. Vote. I wish I could vote again. Rub the back of loved ones before giving them a hug. Hold the utensils as I eat dinner and cut cakes at breakfast celebrations. My hands can do a thousand things. Hold a pencil and write a poem. Play in your beard. Pick up your phone and…put it back down (No I didn’t look. That isn’t my style). Zip up, pull down, unbutton, pull back. My hands can do a thousand things
LIPS Power comes from between. Ecstasy from a touch. Peace when they are shut. Toxic when they cringe. All the time beautiful? No. no. only on you.
BREASTS They are HUGE Nothing I could do to cover up or hide even if I tried and believe me I have tried Large shirts Layer and layer of clothes Tape You name it Why? What did I do to deserve to be so… Voluptuous Attention I did not want or ask for. Side conversations about my “girls” with questions like “I wonder if her back hurts” “What size is she” “Maybe she should get a reduction” Bulges and bumps that are only controlled by $1000 brassieres. So painful being so damned Voluptuous See, in this society, my cleavage size has the potential to determine my sexuality, my smarts and acceptance. It could potentially “separate” me from other sisters who deal with a differnert problem of lack Conversations had with people looking below my face. How incredibly burdensome it can be for me to be so Delightful Enticing Salacious Sensuous So…voluptuous
HEART As handsome as you are, it is your heart that I am most attractive to.
HIPS Parenthesis holding beauty and magic in between.
EYES As a kid, I thought my eyes were black, like my skin. But, when I got my state ID, black was not an option for eye color. I went home looked into the mirror deeper, deep, deeper still to see that my eyes were a dark brown, just like my skin. My eyes dark brown, but my skin is black? I’m confused.
VAGINA I’ve ignored you for years. The preacher told me that to use you before marriage was a one-way ticket to hell and damnation.To save my soul, I put you under lock and key. Then, when I thought I was in control and had choices, I was grown and mature, He came. And I believed I loved him deeper than I loved the others before. After talks, walks, long hugs, longer kisses, part of me wanted to go further – but further meant s-e-x. (Love is more than physical) I was scared and did not want to do it. I did not want to do it. I did not. I did. The next day, I remember feeling my life was broken up into a before and after. I did not like the separation. You, unlike me, were not confused or mourning but in jubilation knowing you could no longer be ignored. You knew that one moment would become another then 5 then 10 more. The salvation of my unseen soul became mythical in comparison to this feeling that made me vibrate for days. But more is happening than touch, motions, hums and tingles. You, my dear, are a portal to my body, spirit and soul and, left on your own, will let anyone through, without thought, instinct or criteria. Leaving me open to beauty, yes, but all too many times more, open to the toxins of this world. That’s what the preacher was warning me about. I could no longer imprison you. I didn’t want to anymore. I took the key and melted it into a ring, to symbolize our union. Together, we will keep my soul safe and free. Together we will enjoy the pleasures that you seek and together we will be a more colorful woman.
Colorful Women is a series of illustrations and paintings of women. Through color, shape and the use of the human female figure, this series’ objective is to open viewers eyes to feminine beauty that is beyond the curves, clothes, make up and teased hair. These images convey a beauty that comes from the colorful nuisances of women’s personalities, emotions, and experiences. WWW.DMJSTUDIO.COM/COLORFULWOMEN
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