COLORFUL WOMEN THOUGHTS AND STORIES - SERIES 3
LOVE, HOPE and GRACE Love hope and grace are probably three of the most beautiful words in the English language. They are filled with the things we want in life. To love one another, to be loved. To be gracious about the things we have and hopeful about what is to come. This collection is about these experiences of love, grace and hope. Some profoundly moving, others painful as love and hope can sometimes be. Read and enjoy.
LOVE I am different enough that it interests you. I am beautiful enough for you to think about me. I am gracious enough to understand your hesitation. It’s new. I know. It’s scary. I know. And, I hope you get over it and try the experience of me; you and me; us.
HOPE I cry at night so that you do not have to - so that you can sleep soundly and wake happy and free.
LOVE 5 am - open my eyes and look around. BUZZ- BUZZ - Damn - forgot to turn off phone BUZZ - BUZZ - It is in the other room. Slowly, slowly get out of my warm bed BUZZ BUZZ - Sitting on the table lit up. I got three text messages from you. Text 1: Good Morning Text 2: Thinking about you Text 3: Enjoy the day Put the phone in my pocket and went back to my bed with a smile on my face.
GRACE In our ignorance, in our dark, angry, unknowing states; when we do things that create chaos and negativity in the world, we are not always punished or tossed aside for those actions and choices. The universe has mercy on us and gives us chances that we may not deserve.
GRACE Grace feels like walking through a mist of water on a humid day. It is that tingle you get when a loved one rubs your back. The moment before falling asleep and the clarity when you wake up. It is taking in a long breath after holding it in for so long. GRACE removes the clutter, abolishing our wrong choices, the misunderstandings, and messes from our paths allowing us to move forward and make the universe more beautiful. We are enlightened, forgiven and provided space and love to do better, be better and start anew.
GRACE Three times. One. Two. Three. The first was ignorance, the second a mistake, the third enlightened and freed me. I did not love enough to carry, and you did not love enough to support any other decisions than these. My choice, yes. My burden, yes. My life, yes.
HOPE Hope is for the desperate and the insane. It is stronger than a wish, more spiritual than desire, but mainly a useless act of wanting something that you never will get. It sets you up to fail and leaves you disappointed. It keeps too many from facing reality. No more hope in the potential of things - just the understanding of how things are and the task of changing them.
LOVE It was 9:30 pm. I hear a small knock on my bedroom door. I smile because I know who it is. I tell her to come in. She enters in her little pink Dora pajamas, her blanket, and pillow. She has her own room and bed, but she wants to sleep near me.
LOVE It is Sunday and we sit. There are my brothers walking around the kitchen laughing and telling the same stale jokes from decades ago. My older sister sharing a story about work and my younger sister ignoring her, watching a cop show on the iPad. Pops in his cave watching sports or maybe a televised sermon and mom watching Lifetime. Watching, watching, watching. My part in this play is the same too. I sit on the couch with a book. My feet on the table where they should not be. Now and then, I join an interesting part of the conversation and then go back to reading, only to look up and go to the table when mom says so.
LOVE I look in the mirror sometimes wondering what can I change or fix. The thing is I like me, as I am. Some days I damn near love myself. But what escapes me is love from another, beyond mother, father, sister, brother and friends. Love feels magical. No new-age thought can deny that. There is a delight in being chosen because of your beauty, intellect, personality and grace. It makes you remember your value in moments of doubt; Not just as a friend, aunt, sister. Daughter, artists or human being, but as a woman.
HOPE I think about you every day wondering when you are gonna turn that corner and see the life that you were meant to live. My heart leaps, as you edge closer and closer to your brilliance and majesty.
LOVE I told him, “I love you� and he did not say anything back. I placed rose petals at our feet, and he decided to leave the trail that led to our bed and walk to the couch in front of the TV. One of the worse things. Feeling unloved - treated unlovingly.
GRACE AND LOVE My mother cleaned the sanctuary on Wednesdays to get the church ready for Thursday night service. With my siblings and my Dad in tow, she would divvy up tasks and make sure we leave the place immaculate. Mom cleaned the rooms of the church in a particular order; the sanctuary, the baby room, the overflow space, the coat room and lastly, the pastor’s office, which she’d quickly lock up after she finished. Most of the time. There were times she’d forget, and I, like any curious kid, would sneak in. The pastor’s office was a sacred as she. It smelled of flowers and was filled with her passion and love. She was a beautiful, kind woman that spoke softly and yet had a presence that was so powerful. Sometimes I had a hard time looking at her. The office was quiet; leather Bible sat on her desk closed. A natural white sitting chair in the corner, complimenting a warm gray carpet underneath its feet. It felt like peace. I slowly opened her closet. Her white robes with intricate trim hung neatly next to a white suit. I touched them. They vibrated. Next to the robes were the most beautiful dresses in blue, pink and green hues, reminding me that she was a woman. I grabbed a peppermint from the glass bowl on the edge of her desk and sat in her off white chair, reading her Bible wanting one day to be as kind, generous and graceful as she.
LOVE Love is regarded as a treasure that you give to a selected few when it is a gift accessible to every heart and soul. It is yours Take your gift of love. Breathe it in and let it be with you always.
HOPE Hope in my soul that I live life fully doing the things I came to this chaotic world to do. Be a strong and supportive sister, loving aunt, fun and delightful friend, honored and trustworthy confidant, beautiful human being.
Colorful Women is a series of illustrations and paintings of women. Through color, shape and the use of the human female figure, this series’ objective is to open viewers eyes to feminine beauty that is beyond the curves, clothes, make up and teased hair. These images convey a beauty that comes from the colorful nuisances of women’s personalities, emotions, and experiences. WWW.DMJSTUDIO.COM/COLORFULWOMEN
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