Issue#34 Doha Family Magazine Autumn 2020

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How racism affects mental health

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Composting for better well-being

THE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE Expat and maternal mental health, mindfulness, and more.

AUTUMN 2020 | ISSUE 15 | BROUGHT TO YOU BY DOHA FAMILY | DOHAFAMILY.COM

Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

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Contents

Autumn 2020 • DohaFamily.com

HEALTH AND WELLNESS 14 My Perinatal Mental Health Journey in Doha A mum’s story of getting help and healing 25 Racism and its Effects on Mental Health in Black Communities How a social ill can have a devastating personal impact 34 Becoming a Mindful Plant-Eating Superhero A Journey into Veganism

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45 Perinatal Mental Health: My Story of Running for Mums Why this Doha mum ran a half-marathon during her last trimester 54 Dad’s Recipes with Muhammad Nasir The power of cooking during the Covid-19 outbreak 57 Teen Talks Mental health advice

LIVING IN DOHA 19 Expat Mental Health Struggles The mental health drawbacks of expat life and tips to overcome them

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28 5 Common Expat Challenges Mindfulness Can Improve Better your life by being in the moment 48 9 Work Lessons Learnt from Lockdown What we learnt about work while staying home 59 How to Qatar Getting mental health help 61 The 3 Phases of Repatriation How to successfully settle back home 2

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FAMILY MATTERS 32 Doha Dad Talks Overcoming mental health challenges in lockdown 39 Q&A with Aliya Qutub An expert take on mindfulness and ways to practice it with your family 51 Helping Kids Readjust to School with Mindfulness Tips to ease the move back to class

EDUCATION 23 Back-to-School Tips for Good Mental Health Easy steps to help you feel better about being back in school 42 Mindfulness Books for Kids Fun reads to help your kids keep calm

FUN 30 How to Compost A beginner’s guide to an environment and mind-friendly activity

IN EVERY ISSUE 6 Quick Directory 7 Editor’s Letter 8 News Bites 9 What’s On 10 Ask The Expert 11 Things We Love 12 Book Bites 67 Marketplace 4

Main contributors KIM WYATT is the Doha Family Magazine Food Contributor. A mum, photographer, writer, stylist, and cook, she is passionate about healthy and delicious food for the whole family.

Follow her on Instagram: mama_baba_ ganoush or Facebook: mama baba ganoush

LISA GAY is a writer from the US who has so far spent over a decade of her life as an expat. She’s lived in Beijing, where she worked as an editor of a parenting magazine. Now a trailing spouse, she has since started a family in Doha.

LAURA POWELL-CORBETT is a banker turned writer from England.

Besides writing, she loves discovering Doha, meeting new friends and travelling the world with her three young children in tow.

EMMA MORRELL is a British mum who has lived outside of the UK for over 1/3 of her life. She’s a family travel blogger and expat who is passionate about helping families to travel more adventurously and empowering expat women and families.

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Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

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Quick Directory

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Editor’s Letter Mental health is a topic that is very close to my heart. As someone who has walked through the lonely tunnel of struggling with her mental health and is finally basking in the light, I know all too well how vital it is to talk about it. And now that the world is reeling from the effects of a pandemic, I’m even more certain it’s necessary.

This issue will shine a light on perinatal mental health, with one mum sharing her experience with perinatal anxiety in Doha (page 14) and another telling her story of running a race while pregnant to raise awareness of perinatal psychosis (page 45). It will also explore the mental health challenges that can come with expat life (pages 19), where you can get help (page 59), and how you can cope if repatriation is on the horizon (page 61).

Anti-Black racism has been a global topic of conversation and, undoubtedly, it can have a severe impact on the mental health of the people facing it. I personally believe that it is essential to start having more conversations about this issue with our families, so I implore you to read and learn more about its effects on page 25.

Mindfulness is a buzzword that is often heard in wellness circles but is also very misunderstood.

Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

THE PREMIER MAGAZINE FOR FAMILIES IN QATAR

Issue 15 – Autumn 2020 DohaFamily.com Founder

Roxanne Davis reminder A handwritten ly. from yours tru

Learn more about the practice and why it’s especially useful for expats (page 28) and how you can get your kids involved (pages 23 & 51).

Publisher / Managing Director Anas Outa Bashi

Editor

Tesneem Ayoub

Sales & Marketing Nina Hall

Graphic Design: For some, being more mindful translates into changing how they relate to the world around them.

This was the case for Rebekah from Superheroes Eat Plants who will share how becoming vegan has made her more mindful of the planet (page 34).

If you’ve also been wondering how you can do your bit for the environment while reaping mental health benefits, you’ll love this article on composting on page 30.

If you would like to get in touch with article ideas, comments, or questions, you can write to me at editor@dohafamily.com. I would love to hear from you!

Tesneem

Editor Doha Family Magazine

The HYPE Marketing Solutions

For advertising or distribution inquiries, please contact Nina Hall at ads@dohafamily.com.

Editorial inquiries, suggestions and submissions may be addressed to editor@dohafamily.com.

Doha Family Magazine is a free magazine published four times a year

by Doha Family. It is distributed to over 120 locations throughout Qatar with a circulation of over 20,000 copies. Visit https://dohafamily.com/ distribution-location/ to find the nearest copy.

Doha Family does not endorse or assume responsibility for any information, products or services mentioned by advertisers or editorial contributors. Reproduction of any element of this publication without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. Copyright 2020 by Doha Family. Doha Family Magazine is printed by Aspire Printing Press in Doha, Qatar.

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THE MINISTRY OF PUBLIC HEALTH (MOPH) has launched an electronic colouring book for children called “Heroes of the White Army”.

The book aims to increase awareness about the Covid-19 pandemic and to commemorate the efforts of frontline healthcare staff—the heroes—such as doctors, nurses, and paramedics in the fight against the virus. It also contains child-friendly tips by the heroes on how to deal with the pandemic. The colouring book is available for download in Arabic and English from a dedicated section of the MoPH website. whitearmyheroes.moph.gov.qa SIDRA MEDICINE now only accepts card payments from customers. According to a statement on the Sidra Medicine website, this decision will help to reduce waiting times for customers at registration and keep them safer by lowering the risk of Covid-19 transmission. This change extends to all of Sidra Medicine’s services, including pharmacies, cafeterias and cafes, and the gift shop. sidra.org

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THE BRITISH COUNCIL, in collaboration with HSBC, has launched a free app for young people called “Taqaddam”, which aims to help them develop important life skills. The app was launched on 15 July 2020 to coincide with World Youth Skills Day and contains 30 interactive “missions” to help youth with self-development. Taqaddam is available for download from the Apple App Store and Google Play. taqaddam.britishcouncil.org

THE DOHA METRO project has bagged the prestigious Chartered Institute of Highways and Transportation (CIHT) International Award 2020, according to Qatar Rail.

This award is granted to transportation infrastructure and services outside of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland that are considered outstanding. qr.com.qa

what’s on this Autumn

Indulge

Gaze

Create

Feast

The Ritz-Carlton, Doha is giving families the chance to enjoy a staycation with its “Family Getaway” offer, which is valid through 30 September 2020.

Breakfast and dinner for two adults and two children (under 12s) at Sel & Miel restaurant, an in-room kids’ menu, free Wi-Fi, and a complimentary upgrade to a Deluxe Seaview room are all included in the package.

Guests will also have the chance to save 20% on spa treatments. At the time of writing, reservations costs start from QR 995 per night and are subject to availability. ritzcarlton.com

The Picasso’s Studios exhibition at the Garage Gallery in the Fire Station is open to visitors until 01 November 2020. This exhibition explores the evolution of Pablo Picasso’s work and features 108 of his pieces that have been selected from the collection at Musée national PicassoParis. At the time of writing, the exhibition runs from 9 am to 2:30 pm, Sunday to Thursday. Visitors are required to book tickets beforehand through the Qatar Museums website and adhere to Ministry of Public Health guidelines. Entry is free for residents but costs QR 25 for students. visit.qm.org.qa

The Doha Kids Art group on Facebook is currently accepting artwork submissions from kids worldwide, of all ages, to be showcased within the group. The types of artworks eligible include hand-drawings, paintings, digital art pieces, culinary creations, and more. The group is private, so anyone interested in sending or viewing artwork will have to send a member request.

During the lockdown, spousal date nights outside the house may have started to feel like an elusive figment of the past. But now, with the lifting of restrictions and restaurants opening back up, it feels like the world is your (slightly limited) oyster! And what better way to make the most of that than by taking up Paper Moon Doha’s private dining offer? For QR 2000, you can book a room for you and your significant other to enjoy delectable Italian dishes in a romantic setting complete with flowers and candles.

This offer is available until 31 January 2021, from 12 pm to 12 am. Please note that the above cost is not inclusive of the dishes purchased. Call 4016-6000 to make your booking. papermoondoha.com

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ASK THE EXPERT INBOX

SENT

DRAFTS

RE: Can I seek mental health help even if I am not very unwell??

Mental health is different from “mental illness” or “mental disorder”. The World Health Organization defines mental health as: “A state of well-being in which an individual realises his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”

Good mental health is related to cognitive, behavioural, and emotional well-being. It is about being psychologically resilient in the face of the stresses and strains of daily life and looking after our wellness and happiness.

A variety of factors can affect our mental health. These include the lifestyle choices we make, biology (our genes), our finances, and social issues such as relationships.

It is common for all individuals to experience poor mental health at some point during their lives. We can be well and functioning, or there may be times we find ourselves struggling. If we have poor mental health, we often find that the way we think, feel, or act feels difficult to cope with. We might not enjoy the things we used to like, or we might feel sad for longer than we usually do.

We might also feel unable to control our emotions or behaviours.

When our mental health becomes unbalanced, it is a good idea to seek support, and there are various ways to do that: • Talking therapies help individuals understand their difficulties and support them to develop positive coping strategies.

• Medication can improve individuals’ level of functioning by increasing “happy chemicals” in the brain, such as serotonin.

Adequate sleep, eating a diet rich in nutrients, seeking support from your network or your friends and family, and participating in meaningful activities can all facilitate well-being.

Sincerely, Dr Sarah Williams Counselling Psychologist The International Medical Centre

Have a question for the experts?

Send it to editor@dohafamily.com 10

Things we

! e v o L

The 3 Minute Gratitude Journal for Kids A favourite of parents worldwide, this journal is a great, hands-on way to introduce your children to the concepts of gratitude and positive thinking. Every day of the week, your child fills a page with spaces to do the following: write down three things they’re grateful for, name the person who brought them joy, circle the smilies that best describe how they feel, and draw or write about the best part of their day. The journal also contains weekly prompts for gratitude-related activities. Available on amazon.com One of the best-known meditation apps, Calm has something for everyone interested in making meditation a part of their day-to-day and improving their mental health. In addition to hundreds of hours of guided meditations, Calm also offers users access to sleep stories, breathing and stretching lessons, self-improvement masterclasses, and more. There’s also a “Calm kids” section on the app with content tailored to younger audiences. At the time of writing, Calm is free to download and offers a 7-day free trial, after which there is an annual subscription fee of USD 69.99 (around QAR 260). Alternatively, users can make a one-off payment of USD 399.99 (around QAR 1460) for lifetime access. Available on Android and Apple

Journey Diary, Journal This award-winning, easy-to-use mobile journaling app is an excellent choice for when you want to purge what’s on your mind for an immediate release. It’s free to download, PIN-protected, and allows you to backup and sync your daily entries with Google—plus, you can add photos. At the time of writing, Journey gives users an option to make a one-time in-app purchase to unlock premium features for the cost of USD 11.99 (around QR 44). Examples of these features: increased media attachment capacity per entry (up to ten photos, one audio, or one video recording), text formatting, a “throwback” feature to view highlighted past entries, and a connection to Google Fit. Available on Android and Apple Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

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IN EVERY ISSUE

Book Bites

By Amatullah Hashi, aged 12 Title: Esperanza Rising Genre: Historical Fiction Author: Pam Muùoz Ryan Unveiled by the decorated author of Echo, Esperanza Rising gives a heart-warming insight into a wealthy youth who fell into adversity, losing her wealth, safety, and father all due to one horrifying incident. This outstanding tale, inspired by the life of the author’s grandmother, details the dire situation of the needy to draw sympathy and inspire aid. The captivating story begins starring a youthful girl blinded by the fact that her wealth is infinite, only to soon be struck by the unfortunate tragedy that awaits. In my opinion, I would recommend this touching tale to tweens who enjoy a warming and thrilling genre.

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Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

My Perinatal Mental Health Journey in Doha

By Laura Powell-Corbett

W

hen you embark on your journey to start a family, many things rush through your head: the physical aspects of trying for a baby, the emotional leaps and dips as you navigate through trying to conceive, and so on. All of which lead to the day when, hopefully, you get that positive pregnancy test.

It’s an exciting journey, but for some women, it’s also one that is filled with mixed emotions, including anxiety and sadness. This is especially true if you have a history of mental health difficulties. According to the charity, The Maternal Mental Health Alliance, it is estimated that one in ten women will experience significant depression and/or anxiety during the perinatal period, which is defined as pregnancy and the first year of baby’s life.

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The UK-based mental health charity, Mind, also found that up to four in ten new mums reported a mental health issue such as significant stress, anxiety, and depression both during and after pregnancy. It also found that nearly half of those women were too embarrassed to say anything or found it too difficult to tell a mental health professional how they were feeling.

If this sounds like you, please don’t suffer in silence!

It’s important that you recognise these feelings so that you get the right help and support for the well-being of yourself and your baby.

The start of my journey with perinatal anxiety As I embarked on my journey to have my third son, my mind was filled with many questions: Will the boys like being big brothers? Will I even be able to have a third pregnancy? What will the baby look like? But what I

HEALTH & WELLNESS never questioned was the state of my mental health during the process. Not once did I stop and wonder if my mental health would be compromised on my journey to become a mother for the third time.

But it was.

The scary part was that, until a stranger heard my story, I didn’t realise that my mental health was in danger.

It took me telling somebody else about the issues I had faced in previous pregnancies and the worry I was feeling about this pregnancy to realise that I was suffering from more than just the usual worries. It was at that point I was able to seek the help I needed here in Doha.

That is why, ever since that moment, I have shared my story. To remind others that it is OK to feel scared, anxious, or depressed. That, while hormones do play a big part in emotions during pregnancy, it might be something more. That perinatal anxiety is more than just feeling a bit blue, a bit anxious, a bit scared. It is real. And it is not talked about enough.

It is OK to not be OK. My story begins back in 2012, when I had a traumatic delivery while giving birth to my first child. A category one emergency C-section with my life endangered, the time it took from the doctors filling my room to my son being lifted out of me was just seven minutes. He was born blue and unresponsive. Luckily, he was also born just in time. Birth trauma, never dealt with and packed away in a compartment in my brain, and left there as I carried on with raising a new baby.

It continued in 2015 when I was pregnant with my second son and adamant I was going to get the healing birth I deserved after the trauma of my first.

That was not the case as, yet again, I had another emergency C-section that showed I was within hours of haemorrhaging from an undetected rupture.

Once again, I boxed up all the negative feelings and worries associated with my second birth and pushed them all to the back of my mind to be dealt with another day.

Except I never dealt with them. The next time they surfaced, I found out I was pregnant once more. In 2018, while pregnant with my third son, my mental Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

health began to slowly unravel due to my previous birth traumas. I carried on regardless for the first fourteen weeks—during which I was involved in a pretty severe car accident—and then I finally fell apart.

At that point, I was referred to the Maternal Mental Health team at Sidra Medicine and diagnosed with perinatal anxiety.

What is perinatal anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of unease, worry, or fear that can be mild or severe. Everyone feels anxious, sometimes, but some people find it hard to control their worries.

Perinatal anxiety is experiencing this during pregnancy or the first year of your baby’s life.

Anxiety symptoms vary from person-to-person and can have both physical and mental effects on you.

Some of these, according to Tommy’s (the UK’s leading baby charity) and Mind, can be but are not limited to: • Feeling restless • Having trouble concentrating • Feeling anxious for large periods of time and being unable to control those feelings • Feeling very worried • Panic attacks • Feeling a sense of dread • Feeling as though you are constantly on edge • Having difficulty in falling or staying asleep • Being irritable • Sweating and hot flushes • A racing, thumping, or irregular heartbeat • Derealisation: feeling disconnected from reality • Depersonalisation: feeling disconnected from yourself.

Personally, the symptoms I experienced leading to my diagnosis included flashbacks to previous trauma, excessive worry about my 15

HEALTH & WELLNESS

third pregnancy, and feelings that I was “pushing my luck” and that I wouldn’t have the happy outcome I previously had. In addition to having a sense of dread, I also had difficulty sleeping.

How is perinatal anxiety diagnosed?

The Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS) is used as an initial gauge to assist in the identification of possible mental health issues in pregnant and postnatal women. It is a set of ten screening questions that can indicate whether a parent has symptoms that are common in women with depression and anxiety during pregnancy and in the year following the birth of a child.

It is important to note that the EPDS is not a diagnostic tool, but rather a screening tool that aims to identify those who may benefit from follow-up care and a mental health assessment.

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Maternal Mental Health in Doha Doha’s centre of excellence for perinatal mental health services can be found at Sidra Medicine. It is the only facility in Qatar with a dedicated perinatal mental health service, and all Hamad Medical Corporation (HMC) referrals go there. Their maternal mental health team help provide women, infant, and family-centred assessments, treatments, and care for pregnant women who are struggling with mental health issues.

There are several ways to get a referral to Sidra’s Maternal Mental Health program.

The two most common are: • A referral from your current healthcare provider (government or private) • Self-referral by phone (4003-3333) or a visit to the outpatient clinic

HEALTH & WELLNESS Following your referral, you will then meet with a clinician to explore why you have been referred to the perinatal mental health department. After a detailed assessment, you will be provided with feedback regarding diagnosis and treatment recommendations.

What happens next?

Finally, you have a diagnosis, and you now have a name for what’s been keeping you up at night—but what happens next?

Each treatment plan is specific to both the patient and the mental health issue that is being treated. These can include talking therapies and/or medication.

My treatment for perinatal anxiety Under Sidra Medicine, I met with both psychiatrists and psychologists. From my very first appointments, it was decided that I would not benefit—at that stage—from medication. At that stage, I was signed off from the psychiatrist and placed under the care of a psychologist. I was assessed throughout the whole process and, should my mental health have deteriorated further, I would have been referred back to a psychiatrist to be prescribed medication.

As it happened, my perinatal anxiety was managed with regular cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) sessions. CBT is a talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by changing the way you think and behave.

During this process, we put together a range of tools I could use when I was feeling especially anxious. I explored the previous birth trauma I had experienced and changed my mindset on how I viewed the current period. I also spent time talking through the specific triggers that I had.

Self-care for perinatal anxiety From my regular sessions, it became quickly apparent that I had the ability to help myself when anxiety was threatening to overtake me. From here, I was able to create a “toolbox” of coping strategies to employ when I felt overwhelmed. Here are some of the tools I personally used: Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

1. PHYSICAL ACTIVITY Not only does this act as a great distraction, but it also helps to burn up the anxious energy you may be producing. Even as I became heavily pregnant, I found that taking the time to take a short walk cleared both my mind and my anxiety.

2. MEDITATION AND BREATHING EXERCISES While in CBT, my psychologist practised mindful breathing exercises with me.

One such exercise involves closing your eyes, letting your body relax, and imagining a place where you feel comfortable. It could be your favourite park, the beach, your bed—whatever feels right for you. At that point, you start taking slow and deliberate breaths. In through your nose for a count of five, hold for a beat, and then breath out through your mouth for a count of five.

3. FOCUSING ON SOMETHING ELSE Rather than focusing on my upcoming C-section and all the things that could potentially go wrong, I would shift my focus onto something small. This could be the pattern on a rug or the texture of something I was wearing, slowly taking it all in. In doing so, I would give myself a moment to calm the anxious thoughts crowding my mind.

4. WRITING IT DOWN Rather than keeping things bottled up, becoming bigger and bigger in my mind, I began to use writing as a tool. It helped to focus my thoughts, and having my anxieties out there on paper made them seem surmountable.

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HEALTH & WELLNESS 5. REST Accepting that you are not superwoman and taking time to sit and rest is just as important as washing the dishes. It may feel unnatural, but you need to take the time to rest your body and mind.

By employing these various strategies, and with the help of my team at Sidra, I made it through to 37+4 weeks pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby boy via elective C-section. He was the healing birth I didn’t know I needed. Although I remained under my mental health team until he was eight weeks old, I now feel stronger than I did before.

Final Thoughts If you have been affected by any of the issues discussed in this article, please reach out to your doctor, who can give you the appropriate referral for you to access help.

Finally, for those of you like myself who had experienced perinatal anxiety and were worrying about the effect that it was having on their unborn baby, I’d like to leave you with a quote from Professor Janet A. DiPietro. Professor DiPietro is a research author and development psychologist in the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore, and she says:

“I’D LIKE ALL PREGNANT WOMEN TO HEAVE A BIG SIGH OF RELIEF—THEY HEAR ALL THESE AWFUL STUFF ABOUT EVERYTHING THEY DO. NOW THEY CAN STOP WORRYING ABOUT WORRYING. THE REASON TO AVOID STRESS IS NOT BECAUSE IT’S HURTING THE BABY, BUT BECAUSE IT IS HURTING YOU.” DF

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LIVING IN DOHA

Expat Mental Health Struggles

By Emma Morrell

I

t goes without saying that mental health issues are not uniquely an expat problem. If a member of the British Royal Family, famous actors, musicians, and other high-profile personalities can experience them, so can anyone else.

Poor mental health does not discriminate—it affects people regardless of age, race, income, or geographical location. In fact, an article from The Guardian newspaper reported last year that as many as 970 million people worldwide are estimated to have a mental or substance use disorder. In the same year, the World Health Organization (WHO) said: “Mental, neurological, and substance use disorders make up ten percent of the global burden of disease and 30% of non-fatal disease burden.” The WHO also estimates that around 264 million people are affected by depression alone and that someone loses their life to suicide around every 40 seconds. Plus, depression and anxiety cost the global economy a whopping

Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

USD 1 trillion per year. So worried was WHO by these findings that it put in place an action plan to improve mental health outcomes between 2013 and 2020.

But as with many situations, add the word “expat” to the conversation, and everything becomes infinitely more complicated. While there is a distinct lack of research on the topic, one study published in 2011 called The Mental Health Status of Expatriate Versus US Domestic Workers claimed that people living abroad are as much as 2.5 times more likely to suffer from mental health problems than their domesticallybased counterparts. Furthermore, the insurance company Aetna International claimed in its 2017 Expatriate Mental Health Study that expat mental health problems are a growing issue, based on its latest claims data.

If expats are more prone to mental health problems, what could be the reason?

Challenges of Expat Life

Frankly, these findings are unlikely to cause shockwaves of disbelief in the expat community.

Moving house is widely acknowledged as one of the most stressful life events that we will experience.

Little surprise, then, that doing it in a new country is 19

LIVING IN DOHA enormously stressful. International moves also have additional implications. For starters, discussions and decisions are needed on everything: shipping, flights, visas, housing, schooling, healthcare, and dual-career considerations. They also involve the angst of saying goodbye to loved ones and can include extra logistics that “normal” moves don’t have, such as securing visas, closing bills and bank accounts, and arranging pet import/export permits.

Most people arrive in their new host country already exhausted and in a state of burnout. And that is before they’ve even started the local logistics like going to medicals and sorting out residency-related paperwork.

Often, there is poorly-understood bureaucracy to face as well as language barriers and various socioeconomic and cultural differences. Add to this that one or both parents is starting a brand-new job (another one of life’s most stressful events!), and it is little wonder that there is a huge mental strain on everyone involved.

Yet, despite its probable prominence, mental health struggles among expats remain one of the more “taboo” topics of conversation. The Aetna study speculates that there are a few main reasons for this, and one is that expats are often extremely self-sufficient—a character trait born out of necessity. Usually unable to rely on others, particularly at the beginning of a new assignment, expats become used to getting things done without asking for help. Asking for help becomes something they are simply not in the habit of doing.

There could be other contributing factors, including the fact that a new expat has very few people to confide in. Struggles with suicidal thoughts or obsessivecompulsive disorder 20

are hardly ice-breaker topics at coffee mornings.

New expats may find themselves equally isolated from friends and family at home, who are probably on a completely different time zone, and who may struggle to understand the complexities of expat life.

Many people are also reluctant to seek help using their company medical insurance for fear that their employer will find out about their issues and (wrongly) develop concerns about their ability to cope in a potentially high-stress work environment. Although, in recent years, steps have been taken to ensure that mental health treatment is kept confidential, the stigma remains. Additionally, activities that are considered “normal” in many expat circles, including heavy drinking and partying, can actually mask more sinister underlying substance abuse or addiction problems.

So, what can you do?

There are many strategies that are proven to help improve a person’s mental health and overall wellbeing. Often, these are linked. For example, exercise and meditation can help with getting enough goodquality sleep. Please note that the list below is meant to help improve the overall general mental health of otherwise healthy people. It is not a substitute for professional help for people suffering from medical conditions.

Ways that you can support your mental health include:

1. Exercise: It is a well-documented fact that there is a direct relationship between exercise and good mental health. A 2018 study published in The Lancet Psychiatry journal by Sammi R Chekroud et al. indicated that physical exercise was significantly and meaningfully associated with [reduced] self-reported mental health burden. Mentalhealth.org suggests aiming for 2.5

LIVING IN DOHA don’t have to be enormously time consuming—try a five-minute meditation combined with 10 minutes of journaling or yoga and/or some exercise, for example.

Even a very simple routine that starts off with making your bed—as suggested by William McRaven, a US Navy Admiral, in his viral 2014 commencement speech to the University of Austin—can have positive knock-on effects throughout the day.

6. Eat well: It stands to reason that what you

hours of moderate-intensity activity per week. This amounts to around 30 minutes of exercise a day, five times a week, which is in line with recommendations from the UK Department of Health.

2. Get outside: On the website of UK mental health charity, Mind, it says that “spending time in nature has been found to help with mental health problems including anxiety and depression”. There could be several reasons for this, including exposure to natural light, being closer to nature, and getting fresh air.

Furthermore, for people who are really struggling, the simple achievement of getting out of the house can have an enormous impact.

3. Meditate: The much-studied art of meditation might only be gaining popularity in recent years, but it is far from a new phenomenon. Several articles published in the American Journal of Psychiatry suggest there are significant links between meditation and mental well-being. Not sure where to begin? Try one of the hugely successful meditation apps such as Headspace or Calm.

4. Write: There have been many studies on the merits of regular journaling, and the consensus is that, unsurprisingly, getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper has many therapeutic benefits.

5. Have a morning routine: Incorporating a variety of techniques into a morning routine can also significantly help your overall well-being. These Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

put in your body can have a dramatic effect on it.

Relationships with food can be complicated and closely linked to a person’s mental health. There are also some studies now linking gut health with mental health. Mind acknowledges that there is a lot of conflicting and confusing advice out there telling us what we should and shouldn’t eat. Hence, it suggests a simple but helpful guide for healthy eating on its website.

7. Reduce or cut out alcohol consumption: While not applicable to all expats, those who do drink alcohol will know that it is not without its problems.

Alcohol is a depressant and can be particularly harmful to someone experiencing a mental health episode.

Abuse and addiction are an extreme that most people can avoid, but even more moderate consumption can have negative effects in the wrong circumstances.

Reducing consumption, even for people in a good overall mental state, can have enormous benefits.

8. Get enough sleep: There is an enormous number of studies on the link between sleep quality and mental health issues. In fact, The Effects of Improving Sleep on Mental Health (OASIS) study published in The Lancet in 2017 concluded that there is “strong evidence that insomnia is a causal factor in the occurrence of psychotic experiences and other mental health problems”.

9. Find your people: Having a support network in place can have a critical effect on how anyone handles the challenges that life throws at them. But this is especially important (and tricky) for expats.

Losing your networks from home can be hard, and it is daunting to form them again in a new community.

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LIVING IN DOHA Having people to talk to who also understand the complexities of expat life can be uniquely helpful.

10. Talk: Opening up about your problems can provide an informal way of sharing them. Often, just getting them out in the open makes them seem smaller than they were in your head. Opening up can also make you feel less alone, especially when the other person admits they also feel the same way.

Getting Help

Of course, it can (and regularly does) happen, that a person does all of these things and still needs help. Or, their mental health issues become so overwhelming that even the simplest of tasks can be too much. Asking for help is the most courageous act someone can do in this situation. Reaching out to medical professionals and accepting the help that they can provide can be life-changing and life-saving for many people battling mental health disorders.

There are several places in Qatar that currently offer professional help for people suffering from mental health issues (see page 59). Should you find yourself unable to find the help you need in-country, many individuals and practices operate online and over video calls. These agencies are often highly specialised in treating expats and have a unique understanding of the specific problems that expat life can present. Such organisations include: Truman Group - Truman Group provides remote psychotherapy and mental health consultation to expatriates living around the world. It works with individuals, couples, families and children, and most of their providers have either lived overseas themselves or have extensive experience treating people who have lived and worked internationally.

The Expat Kids Club - The Expat Kids Club works to help young people around the world feel supported during big life transitions. Their “club� provides a sense of belonging to kids and is a safe-haven for those who might miss the stability of having a home base. They work with kids and teens of all ages, backgrounds, cultures, and families, particularly 22

with those who struggle to overcome the difficulties associated with being a foreigner or having a mixed cultural identity.

Expat Nest – Expat Nest offers online counselling exclusively to expat adults, parents, and teens in several languages, including English, Greek, Spanish, Italian, Dutch, and Chinese. Expat Nest recognises that counselling at a younger age facilitates cure and can change lives for the better.

Breaking the taboo

There have been great strides made in the mental health community in recent years, with people from all walks of life opening up about their personal struggles with mental health. High-profile cases such as those of Prince Harry and the late Robin Williams serve to remind us that no one is immune to the harsh realities of mental health struggles. There is far more support available in the press and from health services globally. Yet, there remains much to be done, with many people feeling the stigma of suffering from mental health problems.

It is up to all of us to work together to break this taboo by keeping the conversation going.

And above all, remember: you are not alone.

Disclaimer: Doha Family has not verified the qualifications or licenses of the medical professionals listed in this article. As with all medical issues, all patients should take the time to research providers to ensure their legitimacy. DF

EDUCATION

Back-to-school Tips for Good Mental Health

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ast March, the coronavirus outbreak cast its gloomy shadow over the world. Countries went into lockdown, and governments worldwide had to take strict measures to contain the virus.

As a result, not only were some parents forced to work from home or were laid off when they couldn’t, but even entertainment venues and events where you might’ve met up with your friends had been shut down or cancelled. Schools had also closed down until further notice and classes were moved online, which meant that you also had to be separated from your classmates.

All of these changes, plus strict orders to stay at home, had probably hit you hard. On the other hand, this outbreak had shown all of us that regardless of race, skin colour, religion, or language, we are all humans facing the same thing. The motto “one love, one family, one world” certainly rings true!

Dealing with Your Feelings You might be excited to return to school this autumn, after all these months, and to get back to being in class with your peers. But, it’s also understandable if you feel a little scared or worried about this change. If you are, here are some tips to help you cope: • Talk to an adult: Talking to a parent or a teacher can help calm the nerves that may come with being back in school. It could even make it easier for you to adapt Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

By Dimple Verma to some of the changes you might have to make, like wearing a mask during the day, which you may fear would be uncomfortable.

• Remind yourself of your role: You might find it difficult to keep a physical distance from your friends and teachers or wear a mask. It might even feel frustrating. But try to remember that you and everyone else at school must work as a team to stop the coronavirus from spreading. Make sure you also continue doing things like washing your hands with soap or using a hand sanitizer and coughing or sneezing into your elbow. These steps won’t only protect you and your classmates, but will also protect the sick and elderly in your communities.

• Be open to change: It might take time for classes to have the same number of students you’re used to, and maybe you will have to do some learning online. But remember, learning can happen anywhere—offline or online, at school or at home. A mix of physical and virtual classes might be the new normal for a while to control classroom sizes, so it’s a good 23

EDUCATION idea to keep an open mind about it. Remind yourself that you can face anything because it’s true, you can!

• Stay in touch: Just because you can’t see your friends in school as often as you used to, it doesn’t mean you can’t stay in touch. Online games, social networks, and video chat programmes are a great way to connect and play with your friends and relatives while at home. Just make sure to ask your parents first before going online.

In-class Ideas While in class, you can also try suggesting some things you and your teachers can do together to lighten the mood.

• Talking and sharing: Teachers know that each one of you has a different family circumstance. Because of this, you might be able to suggest that they take more time to allow you and your classmates to share your feelings and emotions about everything that is happening.

• Activities between lessons: During classes (physical or virtual) you can ask your teacher to include a few activities between lessons or during breaks. These can consist of physical and mental exercises, quizzes, and group activities like making up rap or mash-up songs to perform in class to help boost everyone’s mood.

Remember, your teachers are on your side.

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They want you to have the best back-to-school experience, physically and mentally, despite any challenging circumstances. Welcome back to school and have fun!

Dimple Verma is a Doha-based teacher who has lived in Qatar since 2011. She currently teaches English at Birla Public School and has a master’s degree in the subject. She also enjoys imparting activity-based learning during physical and virtual lessons. Mrs Verma is committed to helping students achieve success in the classroom as well as the rest of their lives. DF

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Racism and its effects on mental health in Black communities

By Maria Tumolo

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alking about mental health in Black communities is taboo.

There seems to be an unwritten rule that the subject is a no-go area. Perhaps it’s due to collective social conditioning that we are and have to always be strong and resilient. However, with recent global events, the community experienced a collective malaise.

Scientists have long proclaimed stress to be the precursor to many illnesses. So, is it any wonder that in many countries, Black people are found to be more at risk of developing hypertension and stressrelated conditions? What is the source of all of this disease? Could it be a result of living a life under surveillance from the public, trying to be blend in, and keeping quiet to get by, in addition to constantly gauging if a comment was intentionally racist?

Frankly, there is more research that needs to be done in this area. Nonetheless, in the American Heart Association journal, Hypertension, an article revealed Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

the higher prevalence of hypertension in Blacks living in the United States compared to those living in Africa. With all this said, let’s explore how racism affects the mental health of the Black community.

First, what is racism?

Racism is a noun that is defined by the Collins English Dictionary as follows: hostile attitude or behaviour to members of other races, based on a belief in the innate superiority of one’s own race.

One experience of racism is enough to last a lifetime.

However, for many people in the Black community, it’s never just the one. Yet, some individuals don’t believe that it’s happening or choose to take the stance that it’s just an excuse to gain sympathy. But, if racism is not your lived experience, that does not negate its existence. If you find yourself having these reactions whenever racism is discussed, you must ask yourself: is it more comfortable to live in feelings of denial and superiority than to believe others’ experiences?

If you say you are not racist and want to make a difference, then you must listen without judgement and educate yourself. Open your eyes to what is happening to your brothers and sisters in humanity.

Understand that it’s not always a “simple” social 25

HEALTH & WELLNESS slight. Racial attacks can also be physical or verbal.

They can happen on the street, place of work, or even within families where an interracial marriage exists.

5 ways racism affects mental health Racism can impact the mental health of the Black community in several ways. The following paragraphs will explore the issues that are especially relatable to Black expats:

1. Social alienation In 2018, an article in the journal Frontiers Public Health titled “Cultural Diversity and Mental Health: Considerations for Policy and Practice”, the author, Dr Narayan Gopalkrishnan, says that racism can lead to social alienation. He says that this is because individuals experiencing racism can begin to have a fear of public spaces, which can then lead to a loss of access to services.

Human beings are social animals by nature. The loss of connection, interaction, and loneliness adversely affect mental health. This lack of a support system or an outlet for thoughts and feelings, as a result, can lead to stress.

2. Hypertension As explained above, dealing with racism is a form of stress. One of the causes of hypertension is lack of sleep or having disturbed sleep. Studies have shown that the Black communities in different parts of the world are at increased risk of this condition. It

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can be inferred from the previously mentioned study that this occurs when Blacks are in the minority in the population. For example, as a Black expat or tourist, it’s not unheard of to experience unsolicited contact, from having strangers touch your hair or skin, to having your photos taken without your consent. Black expats on social media platforms often discuss this phenomenon. Sometimes, being Black can feel like you are an attraction in a human museum.

3. Psychosis According to the organisation, Mental Health UK, Psychosis is the medical term used to describe someone hearing, seeing, or believing things that other people do not. It’s used to describe an experience rather than a mental illness.

Not everyone experiences psychosis the same way.

Mental Health UK says that some people may even find it comforting. However, for others, the symptoms disrupt daily life and make them feel tired, scared, or overwhelmed, and that such symptoms can go unnoticed or undiagnosed. In the article titled “Prevalence of Psychosis in Black Ethnic Minorities in Britain: Analysis Based on Three National Surveys”, by Tarik Qassem et al., published in the Social Psychiatry Psychiatric Epidemiology scientific journal, it says: “Racist attacks and perceived employer racism are associated with increased rates of psychosis in Black ethnic minorities.”

4. Depression Depression is a condition that can occur due to medical

HEALTH & WELLNESS or psychological problems, or intense reactions to life events. The American Psychiatric Association says that individuals with depression may experience a range of symptoms, ranging from changes in their appetites and fatigue to suicidal thoughts. There are different types of depression, but here are some examples of how it can manifest in Black mothers and children: - According to some studies, Black mothers are more likely to experience postpartum depression.

This may be explained by the fact that culture and/or circumstance (such as expat life or being in a population’s racial minority) can cause isolation and a lack of trust. All of this can result from social alienation.

- Black children are not spared either, as they can experience racist bullying. According to the Alberta Civil Liberties Research Centre website, racist bullying can occur in the following ways: racist remarks, threats, denying a student to play in a game, or damaging property. Harassment is more likely to happen in the hallways or classroom of schools. As a result, some teens who are bullied go on to develop depression.

5. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a lasting consequence of traumatic ordeals that cause intense fear, helplessness, or horror. If a physical assault or aggressive verbalisation is part of a racist attack, PTSD can occur. Additionally, there is a school of

Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

thought that believes that racial trauma can also have epigenetic effects on people’s DNA and be passed down through generations. In fact, research findings

by Dr Rachel Yehuda, professor of psychiatry at Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in the United States, point to this.

The Way Forward

So, what’s the way forward? Listen and learn. Respect the humanity and rights of the Black community.

If you’re a family member or a friend to a person who’s experiencing racism, please encourage them to look after their mental health by talking about it and getting the help they need. They may require professional assistance, depending on the severity of their problems.

If you yourself are currently feeling anxious or depressed due to being exposed to racist events, have a social media detox. Make sure to also spend time with loved ones and find an outlet like art journaling or mediation. Finally, let’s also remember that we are all in this together—it takes all of us to make the world a kinder place.

Maria Tumolo is a Trinidad-born Surrey, Englandbased expat Blogger and Content Creator. She writes about family, lifestyle, and travel. The way to her heart is a Trini Chicken Dalpuri Roti. You can find Maria via her blog thetigertales.co.uk or on Instagram and Twitter @MsXpat. DF

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LIVING IN DOHA

LIVING IN DOHA

5 Common Expat Challenges Mindfulness Can Improve

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By Marta Saldaña Martin

xpatriate life is a journey full of excitement, (homesickness) How does my body feel? (rapid pulse, enlightenment, and joy. Living abroad is also tense shoulders) What thoughts am I having? (I hate this place, it will never be like home.) often romanticised: financial opportunities, 2. Give yourself compassion. It might sound a bit odd, but unexpected adventures, and long-lasting tell yourself good things. Not sure what to say? Try this: “It’s friendships. However, being an expat does not okay that you feel homesick. Most people experience that. exempt you from challenges. In fact, it often brings It’s going to be okay. You’ve got this!” a specific type to your doorstep. Life as an expat 3. Find a feel-good moment. Hug a friend, walk, or paint. isn’t easy, and it isn’t all sightseeing and tasteDo something just because it feels good. If you can, set up a video call with your family or friends, or whip up a dish testing. There are tremendous highs and some from your home country to experience a taste of home. painful lows that world travellers must face in order Remember, homesickness is like any other emotion—temto go the distance. Even through all the joys and porary and manageable. beautiful memories, there will undoubtedly be some problems. Let’s take a look at how mindfulness Expat Challenge #2: Language Barriers can improve expat challenges, both at home and Language barriers can be a huge problem for expats. They can also bring up unpleasant situations and emotions. abroad.

Expat Challenge #1: Homesickness Homesickness is one of the most obvious problems expats will face. The constant newness of a different country can be exciting while also taxing. Living and working in a new country is like a marriage—for every wonderful element, there could be another that irritates you. These lifestyle differences may cause you to miss home.

Whether it be at the beginning of the move or 12 months into it, homesickness will unavoidably hit most of us. We will miss our friends, family, and even food from back home. When we miss the past, we become pulled away from the present. Difficult emotions can diminish our ability to be present, but mindfulness can help manage them.

So, instead of pushing away your feelings, sit with them and process them. Here are a few steps you can take to manage your emotions: 1. Sit with your thoughts and take inventory of your feelings. For example: What emotions am I experiencing?

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Since learning a language takes time, mindfulness can be a huge help to manage in-between experiences. Part of being mindful is to fully immerse yourself in the present.

And what better way to learn a language!? Language is merely a means of communication, and communication is something that you do not need a large vocabulary to do.

Focusing on your five senses allows you to gather much more information and make more connections than with language alone.

When you are out and about, put down your mobile phone and tap into your senses. What do you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel? Not only is this a great way to connect yourself to the present moment, but it will also help you establish connections with the words, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and feelings around you. It will help you communicate, learn, and connect with other people.

Expat Challenge #3: A Healthy Routine Establishing a healthy routine away from home can be

LIVING IN DOHA difficult. Gyms may be scarce or prohibitively expensive.

Your apartment might even be too small to exercise or cook the way you are used to. Perhaps your work schedule is intense, or your sleep interrupted by the noise coming from street traffic. Self-care is part of mindfulness—good nutrition, movement, rest, and lowering stress are all a part of becoming mindful because mindfulness helps you tune into your needs. Here are some things to do to make sure you establish a healthy routine abroad: 1. Self-care audit: Make a list of all of the things you do to take care of yourself—nutrition, movement, sleep, etc. Think about where you currently are in terms of that list, and what you would like to improve.

2. Do what you can: It’s impossible to perfectly replicate the lifestyle you’re used to in every country. You need to find your new “normal” based on your location and the resources available to you.

3. Experiment: Eat local ingredients, try new foods and movement, and rotate different bedtime routines. In other words, mix it up until you get it right.

4. Meditate: In addition to lowering stress, meditation will help you focus on where you are in the world.

Expat Problem #4: Stress Triggers Living in a country that isn’t your own can expose you to a lot of stress. Learning to deal with that stress is an important part of any mindfulness practice. When you’re feeling overwhelmed emotionally, just STOP: •S low down and find a place where you can be on your own, as much as possible.

•T ake a deep breath (or several!) and try closing your eyes as you do it.

•O bserve. What are you feeling in your body? What are you thinking? Is there any other reality I can acknowledge? For instance, a friend snapped at you during lunch, and now you think it’s because they must hate you, but could there be another reason?

•P roceed, keeping an open mind, and enlist the help of something that will make you feel better (hot shower, nap, talking to a friend, a cup of tea, etc.). Accept your thoughts and feelings as they are without judgement.

Bring curiosity, kindness, and the thrill of possibility to all new experiences. Whether the moment is small or large, things most likely aren’t as dire as they seem at the present moment. Taking a step back to reflect is an important part of staying connected.

Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

Expat Problem #5: Trying to Be in Two Places at Once Many expats attempt to live two lives, one at home and one abroad. They have two sets of everything: houses, friends, cars, families, maybe even jobs and personalities.

Juggling might be a temporary solution to the fear of missing out, but it isn’t sustainable. You will eventually burn out. Practising acceptance is an element of mindfulness that allows us to make room in our lives for the things we truly want.

To thrive in your expat life, you must accept: 1. You cannot return home unchanged. Living abroad will change you, and there is no going back.

2. You will lose people, places, and things. Boxes can get lost in transit, and friends may lose touch. The home you leave will also not be the one you return to.

3. Nothing is perfect (or, it’s perfectly imperfect!). Every country has its problems. No matter where you are in the world, there is plenty to get upset about. But, there is even more joy if you are open to it.

4. You cannot clone life back home. To survive—and actually savour the experience—you will need to embrace new things. It’s the only way.

5. Mistakes are part of the process. You’re going to use the wrong words, take jobs you hate, or eat things and meet people you would rather forget, but it’s all part of the fun.

A Rewarding Life Whether you’re travelling during a gap year, studying abroad, or settling with your family in another country, these are all problems that you may face during your journey, perhaps more than once. But don’t be discouraged, as the rewards of being an expatriate far outweigh the struggles. Just remember to embrace the journey and stay mindful.

Marta Saldaña Martín is a counsellor, a mindfulness teacher and the founder of Waynama, an online holistic wellness space with the mission of supporting expats and world travellers in their journeys toward stress management, self-empowerment, and happier, more fulfilling lives. You can learn more about Marta’s work on Instagram @waynama.wellness. DF

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FUN

HOW TO COMPOST AT HOME

By Kim Wyatt

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uring the pandemic, it seems everyone in Qatar has started gardening, and it’s not difficult to see why. Growing at home is a great way to bring nature inside. It’s also beneficial for physical and mental well-being. From ferns to fiddle leaf and pothos to peace lily, Qatar’s home gardeners are enjoying the benefits of being closer to nature.

Composting at home is very simple and easy to do. With just a few materials, tools, and tips, you can turn your daily food wastage into luscious, nutrient-dense food for your plants. As well as being a great activity in which your kids can get involved, it’s an effective way to do your part in helping to save the planet. Here’s some information to get you started.

What is compost?

Compost is a natural fertiliser made from a variety of organic materials such as kitchen food scraps, paper products, garden leaves, and grass. Full of nutrients, compost is an excellent soil conditioner that helps boost the growth of your indoor and outdoor plants. Plus, homemade composting requires little

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investment, saves money (it’s free!), and teaches kids the importance of reducing food waste, nature, and gardening.

Compost is produced by a natural decaying process and results in a rich, nutrient-dense, dark, soil-like conditioner perfect for your garden. Additionally, composting at home is a great way to help our planet—it reduces the amount of food wastage in landfills, which destroy the ozone layer through gas emissions.

Compost materials A variety of organic and natural materials can be used in compost. Fruit and vegetable scraps, grass clippings, flowers and leaves, eggshells, coffee grinds, tea leaves, plus paper products such as cardboard and newspaper are excellent materials to use.

Please avoid any animal products such as meat, bones, milk, and cheese, as well as rice, bread, cooked food, and oil. These will attract a variety of pests such as cockroaches and flies, and also make the compost very slimy and smelly.

Getting started It’s very easy to start composting at home. Firstly, you will need a small, indoor countertop food-scrap container or bin with a lid (to reduce kitchen smells)

FUN to put beside your sink or food preparation area.

This will serve as a visual reminder whenever you are preparing food and will encourage you to make composting a part of your daily cooking routine. You can find a variety of small bins in major supermarkets.

When preparing food in the kitchen, save all materials such as fruit and vegetable scraps, apple cores, banana peels, and eggshells for your indoor food-scrap bin. A top tip is to chop, shred, and cut all kitchen compost materials into smaller pieces—this will help to create compost in a quicker time frame.

Ideally, you want to empty your food-scrap bin every day into your outdoor compost bin. This will also help to reduce any odours or smells in the kitchen.

Secondly, you will need an outdoor compost bin.

There are a variety of garbage bins available at major supermarkets. You will need to drill holes into the sides, top, and base of the bin to assist air ventilation for the composting process. Place the compost bin outside on a grassed area or soil. The overflow of moisture will naturally seep into the earth and help to fertilise your garden. Plus, placing your compost bin outside encourages the formation of important microbes and attracts certain insects—two factors important for successful composting.

Daily routine Composting requires a mix of green and brown materials. Green materials are your kitchen food scraps such as veggies and peels, and brown materials are garden materials such as leaves plus

paper products. A successful mix of brown and green materials will eliminate odours and sliminess, another two factors that determine the success of your compost. If in doubt, always add more brown material to reduce smells and slime!

Next, layer the green and brown materials each day.

A layer of food scraps followed by dried leaves and paper products is a good routine. Ideally, decaying materials need to be moist but not wet. Moisture (plus air) aids the decomposition process. Then, lightly spray water from a bottle or a water jug.

Top up the compost each day with layers of green materials and brown materials.

Once a week, it’s important to turn or mix the compost with a rake or fork as this will balance the moisture content and generate air circulation to create a successful, rich compost.

Depending on the above factors, you should have usable compost within four to eight weeks.

Homemade compost is very similar to potting soil—it looks dark and crumbly and has a very mild, naturally earthy smell.

How to use compost You can use your natural compost for all your home-gardening requirements—grass lawns, indoor flowering plants, outdoor vegetable and fruit gardens, raised beds, and potted plants. With a trowel, sprinkle a small amount of compost onto the plant’s soil and work in gently. Next, water lightly.

Your plants will love the benefits of compost.

COMPOST TOOLS

MATERIALS TO COMPOST

MATERIALS TO NOT COMPOST

TOP TIPS

• Indoor countertop food-scrap bin or container • Outdoor compost bin • Rake or fork • Water spray bottle or jug • Trowel

• Fruit peels and scraps • Vegetables peels and scraps • Eggshells • Tea leaves • Coffee grinds

• Animal products: meat, bones, cheese, fat, butter • Oils • Cooked food • Starches: bread, rice

• Use a balance of green and brown materials.

• Place the compost bin in a warm, outdoor area.

• Turn the compost each week.

• Make sure the compost is moist but not wet. DF

Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

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FAMILY MATTERS

DOHA DAD TALKS:

OVERCOMING MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES DURING LOCKDOWN

By Jiji John Ettiyamparambil

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y the second half of March, Covid-19 had spread worldwide and brought forth many challenges along with fears about my family’s future. I had a child studying medicine in Europe, another studying here at Qatar University, and a wife who was busy with our household.

A week into the outbreak in Qatar, when online classes were implemented, I felt some relief when it came to my children’s education. But during this time, many businesses were also facing an economic crisis. This created a huge range of challenges that cast doubt on their future opportunities, and this had affected me mentally.

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As a manager of a private firm, the economic situation caused by Covid-19 led to a chaotic, pressure-filled environment where many compromises had to be made between management and employees. Due to the uncertainty of the future of the business, I also had to knock on several doors to try to lower the rent for both my home and my office. Business instability, along with worries related to my family’s future and my children’s further education, had brought great turmoil in me.

The lifestyle changes brought on by the pandemic had also been challenging. For instance, I had always depended on other family members to take care of the shopping, so adjusting to doing it myself was hard at first. Plus, when the government had imposed restrictions on social gatherings like family outings, visiting friends, and other get-togethers, I thought that my happiness would come to an end.

Additionally, all the information and updates about the virus from media outlets had also impacted my mental health.

I found myself increasingly concerned about my

FAMILY MATTERS

relatives working in the medical sector and the people hospitalised due to the virus, as well as the then increasing number of deaths. The restrictions on international flights was also another blow. This is because the chances of seeing my daughter, who

was studying abroad, or visiting my elderly parents and relatives living in my homeland were nearly impossible. All of these factors got me frustrated.

But as days the passed by, I decided that I had to adapt to this unusual lifestyle. I learnt that this pandemic presented an utterly unique opportunity for fathers to say “yes” to their fatherhood and choose to participate more actively in their family’s life. Personally, I had more time for family prayers, eating family meals at set times, gardening, exercising, and strengthening relations with family and friends through phone calls and FaceTime. This was a vast difference from my previous schedule where I was too busy for all of that.

At the office, we also implemented new strategies to overcome our financial difficulties. And despite the pandemic causing several issues for people, by God’s grace, I’ve also been able to try to help some of them financially.

After spending years worrying about my business life, lockdown taught me to focus more on myself, my family, and my social well-being. I started analysing every aspect of life, which was a surprise, as I hadn’t done this in many years. I started considering this situation as a blessing, which eventually helped me to overcome all of the worst-case scenarios I was dealing with at the time. DF

Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

Becoming a Mindful Plant-Eating Superhero: A Journey into Veganism

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ccording to Google Trends, interest in veganism has increased seven-fold between 2014 and 2019—almost four times the interest in vegetarianism. It appears that the idea of following a plant-based diet is also on the up here in Doha, with more and more vegan products landing on the shelves of local supermarkets. To learn more, Laura Powell-Corbett caught up with Superheroes Eat Plants founder, Rebekah Gomez, to speak with about her journey into a plant-based lifestyle. Rebekah shares with Laura how veganism has made her more mindful about what she eats and how it affects the environment.

It’s often said that there are three main reasons why people choose to adopt a vegan diet: animal welfare, environmental impact, or health.

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Rebekah was no different. Her turning point came four years ago when she stood in the kitchen chopping up chicken for dinner, and a small, malnourished kitten appeared that at her window.

An animal lover heavily involved in the animal rescue world, she experienced her vegan “eureka” moment when she decided to take the kitten in and save it from imminent death. Rebekah looked down at the chicken on her counter and felt hypocritical. She asked herself what the difference was between a chicken, and this kitten she was determined to save.

She wondered how she could rescue one group of animals but support and pay for the slaughter and abuse of another.

Thus the start of her (and her family’s) veganism journey that would later lead to her founding Superheroes Eat Plants.

Superheroes Eat Plants is now one of the biggest support networks here in Qatar for vegan families, as well as those looking to learn more about the lifestyle.

The early days of being vegan The day after the kitten incident began the foray into a plant-based lifestyle.

In a bid to navigate what food was vegan and what food needed to be consigned to a previous life, the first five days of Rebekah’s new journey were filled with carbs and salads.

But with more research—and later, a certification in plant-based nutrition—Rebekah soon concluded that it didn’t have to be that way. She found that it was easy enough to have a whole-foods, plant-based diet while keeping the nutritional benefits that many assume are only attainable with an omnivorous one.

More than that, she also realised that the vegan meals she was now serving her family were much more nutritionally balanced than the previous ones.

Additionally, the battles she was having with her son, who was strongly against eating the animals he loved, had also disappeared overnight. Gone were the days of mealtime-disrupting bribes and treats!

Yet, it didn’t stop others questioning her decision to change the way she and her family were eating. The questions and statements that had been constantly thrown her way were:

• Where do you get your protein if you don’t eat meat?

• How do you have enough calcium in your diet without consuming any dairy products?

• You can’t be getting enough iron if you aren’t eating red meat!

According to Rebekah, these questions were more easily deflected the longer she and her family continued on their plant-based path. And the responses are simple: Protein can be easily obtained through legumes, beans, and pulses. Similarly, plant-based sources of calcium and iron include leafy greens and tofu. The only supplement the family takes is vitamin B12, as it is the only vitamin that can be obtained through animal products or Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

supplements. And if you’re still worried about protein, look at the size of a hippo— not too shabby for only eating plants!

Moving forward with a vegan lifestyle While Rebekah and her family immediately cut out all animal products from their diet, most people start by becoming “flexitarians”. Flexitarians eat a mainly plant-based diet but still consume some animal products. With the worldwide phenomenon of #meatfreemondays trending across social media platforms, there is an increase in people embracing a more flexitarian style of cooking.

These gradual changes, for many, can lead to the realisation that they no longer want to eat as many animal products, resulting in reducing or cutting them out altogether.

Based on the knowledge she gained while studying for her plant-based nutrition certification in 2019, Rebekah agrees that the path she finds most people following is one of reduction.

According to her, people tend to first cut out red meat; followed by chicken; and then dairy, fish, and eggs, with the final hurdle being giving up cheese.

So, if you’re struggling to become a whole-foods vegan (especially because of cheese!), Rebekah’s top tip is simple: “Keep trying!”

Even Rebekah’s complete diet overhaul didn’t happen all at once. “I have to be honest and say we didn’t become whole-food plant-based overnight.

We first became comfortable with being vegan and ate like-for-like processed products such as mock meats, cheeses and ice creams,” she says.

Rebekah’s journey was made easier by keeping familiar food items on the menu. Now readily available in Qatar’s supermarkets, the range of vegan meats, sausages, and even cheeses make it easier to stay on track. So if something doesn’t taste good right now, you can go back to it as your taste buds 35

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change. And, let’s not forget, even Oreos are vegan!

After gaining her nutrition certification, more changes were afoot in the Gomez household. “Again, as a family, we made some changes such as cooking without oils and eliminating added salt,” says Rebekah.

Becoming more mindful Although Rebekah and her son initially became vegan due to animal welfare concerns, the Gomez family became even more aware of the cost of their old lifestyle. They learnt more about the treatment of cows that were being separated from their young for the dairy industry. Their worries also grew about the hens being bred to lay eggs multiple times a day. And none of this took away from their heartbreak towards the animals being slaughtered for consumption.

The family had also become more mindful of their carbon footprint. By eliminating meat, they felt that they were no longer adding to the issue. They were no longer supporting an industry that had been deemed the third-largest cause of global warming, due to the emission of greenhouse gases from cows and sheep.

And as a result, Rebekah now feels that a weight has been lifted off her back.

Delving deeper, Rebekah also discovered that meat consumption is responsible for the rapid loss of species we see today. According to the World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF) organisation, this is happening at a pace somewhere between 1,000 and 10,000 times higher than the natural extinction rate. For example, in South America, mass areas of rainforest are cleared to enable the harvest of feed for animals destined to be exported to North America.

With the additional knowledge of the impact of what they were consuming, Rebekah and her family’s decision was cemented.

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Going forward as a Superhero Rebekah is passionate about changing the world we live in by helping whoever she can to become more mindful of each mouthful they take. Alongside creating delicious, whole-food, plant-based recipes, and supporting others on their journey into veganism, she spends her time educating, for free, in schools across Doha.

In fact, Rebekah is credited with being the first person to make vegan cookies, doughnuts, celebration cakes, pizza, and assembled Beyond Meat burgers commercially available in Qatar. She also pioneered the first three plant-based school cafes in Qatar at Doha College, International School of London, and the Swiss International School in Qatar.

There is no stopping this double award-winning Superhero who also has some big plans for this autumn up her sleeve—so watch this space!

After all, the Superheroes motto is “changing the way we eat, think, and live in one generation”.

Are you ready to become a mindful, vegan Superhero? DF

FAMILY MATTERS

Q&A with Aliya Qutub

A

liya Qutub is a coordinator for the Doha Mindful Community and has worked with families as well as schools to teach mindfulness to children. Here, Lisa Gay asks her more about discovering mindfulness in Doha, its benefits, and easy ways to incorporate the practice into family life.

L: Tell us a bit about your background.

A: I entered mindfulness, as we say, through the yoga door. I came to Doha 12 years ago with three young children. I didn’t have a lot of support, so I started practising yoga to cope. Soon after, I took an MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) course by the founders of the Doha Mindful Community.

After years of practising, reading, and taking courses on topics like mindful parenting and mindful communication, I decided to finish my certification and become a teacher. I also did a yoga teacher training [course], as I believe that along with formal meditation, there is a need for a more accessible, movementbased practice. My focus, however, is to create a platform for sharing mindfulness in corporate, school, and community-focused settings.

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L: So yoga got you interested in mindfulness in the first place?

A: I had three kids in four years. Two years after that, I moved to Qatar. I was a stay-at-home mom, but my husband had high work pressures and had to travel a lot. I felt burnt out and was looking for extra support and coping strategies to be a better mom and be calmer in general.

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FAMILY MATTERS L: Anxiety seems to be increasingly common in children nowadays. How can mindfulness help?

A: Throughout all age groups, you see an increase in depression, anxiety, and stress-related disorders.

Children as young as six or seven are being diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and the influx of social media and screen-time has added to that. It [anxiety] can manifest in attention-related issues, so even in school settings, they often incorporate mindfulness to help children pay attention and sustain that attention for longer periods of time.

L: What are other benefits you can see with mindfulness and children?

A: There are so many! I have done mindfulness workshops in school settings, and I’ve also worked with some really lovely parents that wanted to incorporate mindfulness routines into their home life. I’ll often tell them, “it’s great if I sit and teach mindfulness to your child. But what’s even better is if you attend, and we do it as a family”. Then you can choose whatever resonates with your family. I think people can become disconnected; they may not know exactly what it is they’re feeling, especially children. But by taking that deep breath and observing, “oh, I can feel anger starting to rise up”, [it] really helps children learn to recognise their emotional landscape. One of the pithy things we say is “name it to tame it” or “feel it to heal it”. I’ve done exercises where we give children a blank colouring sheet with the human body and ask them questions like, “when you feel anger, where do you feel it? What colour is it?”. This makes it more visual for them.

And yeah...anger is bright red!

They start to understand how they physically experience emotions, and they learn that these are passing feelings.

As teenagers, they can become aware of connections between their physical and emotional states. Maybe they haven’t eaten or slept well, and if they start asking themselves, “what do I need right now?” then that’s amazing.

L: What are simple ways parents can incorporate mindfulness into family life?

A: One of the simplest ways is to incorporate gratitude into family life. At the dinner table, for instance, name 40

three things you are grateful for. What I often see families do—and it’s super cute—is use a gratitude jar.

Every time you feel grateful for something or someone, you write it down and put it in the jar. At the end of the week, the family reads them all together. I always start with gratitude, because I think it draws you a little closer as a family.

We also always use breathing as an anchor because you always have it. For young children, I’ll start by putting one of their favourite stuffed animals on their belly, so they can see the stuffed animal rising and falling. Doing three or five breath cycles with a stuffed animal— what I call a “breathing buddy”—is very calming.

Another activity is to do a minute of sitting together. I don’t call it meditation, because I don’t think it’s the right term. It’s more, being in presence with each other. It’s also fun when they are younger, as you can set a timer and challenge the whole family to sit still without fidgeting. You can also mix things up by both sitting and breathing together, and asking each person to count how many breaths they take in a minute.

Doing body breathing is also really nice. You can sit back-to-back and breathe together. When you can feel someone breathing and their heart beating, especially your own child, it just kind of allows all those things that

FAMILY MATTERS take up our headspace to fade away. It also allows us to connect in a very real way to our children.

L: Some people associate mindfulness with religious practices. What do you tell people when they ask you about that?

A: There are routes of meditation associated with Eastern contemplative practices, but modern mindfulness has been distilled, so it is not related to a [particular] religious practice. There’s nothing in it that should be offensive or make anyone feel uncomfortable. A really good way to look at this is to see the ideals of gratitude, kindness, compassion, and presence behind it—these are very universal.

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L: Anything else?

A: I see so many parents who say, “I want my child to learn mindfulness”, but it is important to remember that children learn by example. It’s wonderful to give these tools to our children, but we should also practice with them. Do the activities, share your gratitude, be vulnerable.

You can find out more about Aliya’s work by following the Doha Mindful Community pages on Facebook and Instagram to stay updated on future Mindful Parenting courses and other related events.

Edited for length and clarity. DF

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Mindfulness Books for Kids

By Lisa Gay

M

indfulness is having a moment— from colouring books to yoga, to cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). The benefits of mindfulness are especially pronounced for children learning to deal with big emotions.

Giving kids the tools to calm down and refuse to allow anxiety to control them will reap dividends their whole lives.

Read on for our top books to teach mindfulness to kids.

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1. Crab & Whale

By Mark Pallis and Christiane Kerr Ages: two to eight Crab & Whale is a poignant story that reinforces the value of empathy and love. This gorgeously rendered book follows the adventures of a little crab whose mindfulness techniques are subtly introduced in the book for children to try on their own if they so wish.

The crab later goes on to teach a distressed whale these techniques. While the book does include a mindful breathing exercise at the end, the tale itself is so gentle and warm-hearted that even those not interested in mindfulness will be utterly charmed.

to act the way it does. Likewise, children will come to understand that their own negative, anxious thoughts do not define them (something that adults should appreciate as well). The adorable images in Puppy Mind are by veteran illustrator Jim Durk, who is best known for his work in the popular kids’ series Clifford the Big Red Dog.

2. You Are a Lion!

And Other Fun Poses

By Taeeun Yoo Ages: three to five

This playful book introduces simple yoga poses for the preschool set. Author and illustrator Taeeun Yoo invites children to imitate animals in both stance and voice. They can roar like a lion, float like a butterfly, bark like a dog, or hop like a frog. There is a total of seven different poses for children to learn. So, parents can either read this book as their rowdy toddlers act out the animals or (even better) unfurl a mat to practice them together. While the silly fun is perfect for toddlers, older children will probably be a little too self-conscious for this book.

3. Puppy Mind

4. Breathe Like a Bear

By Kira Willey Ages: four to eight

This whimsically illustrated book uses wild animals to explore basic concepts of mindfulness. Each spread shares a little thematic story along with mindfulness exercises that demonstrate certain concepts in the text. Your child may not respond to all the suggested activities, but with so many charming activities in the book, they are bound to find a few that resonate. Breathe Like a Bear is a perfect bedtime accessory to help your child settle down and get ready for bed, but the activities within can also be employed to calm your child when out and about.

By Andrew Jordan Nance Ages: three to seven

This book uses the extended metaphor of an energetic puppy to help young children understand the concept of mindfulness. The puppy—like the brain—is always rushing around and getting into trouble. And of course, we know that the puppy doesn’t really mean Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

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5. What Does It Mean to Be Present?

By Rana DiOrio Ages: four to eight

While a lot of children’s books use metaphors or analogies to explain mindfulness, this title takes a more explicit approach to the topic by giving concrete examples. Although some parents may not appreciate the pedagogic tone, it does pinpoint positive behaviours and actions that children can do to be more present in their everyday life. Deceptively simple, even older children and adults can improve their mental health and well-being by taking to heart the message in this book.

6. Zen Shorts

By Jon J Muth Ages: four to eight

Beautifully illustrated, this contemporary take on classic Zen tales will enchant your child. The framing story narrates how three siblings encounter the panda Stillwater on a rainy afternoon. Each child hears a parable starring a humorous set of animal characters that help each sibling understand their own emotions, while also introducing larger philosophical issues. Zen Shorts chooses not to get bogged down into precise explanations of these stories. Instead, children are given a chance to absorb the tales at many different levels and gain a deeper understanding of them as they mature.

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7. The Lemonade Hurricane

By Licia Morelli Ages: four to nine

We all have a “lemonade hurricane” in our life. For Emma, the protagonist of this book, it happens to be her rambunctious little brother Henry. While Henry is a lovable little boy, his mind (and body!) is never at rest. Emma decides to teach her brother mindfulness techniques to “calm” his inner hurricane. The Lemonade Hurricane is a funny, practical book to help the rowdy kids in your life slow down and pay attention.

8. Sitting Still Like a Frog

By Eline Snel Ages: five to twelve

Despite the cute imagery, this book is not intended to be a book for children to read on their own. Sitting Still Like a Frog gives parents tools and tips on how to help their primary-school-age children regulate their emotions. Straightforward language helps busy parents quickly grasp the material, while the 60-minute CD (remember those?) gives guided meditations for kids on topics that are very much close to their hearts: anxiety at bedtime, managing anger, and dealing with sadness. The author is a mindfulness educator who works with children in Dutch primary schools. DF

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Perinatal Mental Health: My Story of Running for Mums

By Katherine Milton

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ental health has always been on the periphery of my day-to-day life. As is the case for so many others, I know too many people who have suffered from depression and are no longer here to tell their story. Despite this, it wasn’t until late last year that I became aware of how multifaceted mental health problems are.

This shouldn’t have surprised me, given how there are so many different ailments we can suffer from, physically, so why would this not be the case for our mental health as well?

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In November 2019, I learned that a friend was in hospital due to injuries sustained as she battled through the darkest moments of postpartum psychosis—a condition I hadn’t previously heard of—months after the birth of her beautiful baby. I had heard of postnatal depression, but not psychosis. Some quick research told me how this was a condition affecting one in 1000 mothers and included having hallucinations and hearing voices. Terrifyingly, this condition didn’t discriminate, as it could affect anyone during pregnancy or after childbirth and appear suddenly with no prior warning.

To learn that a strong, loving, independent woman 45

HEALTH & WELLNESS could suffer so horrendously from an illness that was provoked by pregnancy really shook me, and all the more so since, at the time, I was pregnant myself with my second baby.

Pregnancy as a runner As a runner, I continued running throughout my pregnancy, and I found myself feeling a mixture of guilt and trepidation. Here I was, fit and strong, enjoying every step and breath of my runs with my baby wriggling away, while another mum was being robbed of the joys of motherhood by a serious mental illness. It felt so cruel. I realised how precarious the journey to motherhood is—the empowerment, counterbalanced by the potential mental repercussions, and not to mention the physical and psychological rollercoaster a woman’s body and mind go through.

Feeling helpless, I wanted to learn as much as I could about postpartum psychosis and the support available in Qatar. Yet, this information was almost impossible to come by. While my friend had been able to access medical support and therapy through Sidra Medicine, relevant local advice online about the symptoms and challenges surrounding perinatal mental health was absent. I realised how mums experiencing symptoms of mental illness in Qatar might have a hard job finding any information on the internet that could help them.

Running for awareness Since I was (still!) running, I decided to do what I could to make people aware of the myriad of experiences pregnant women can go through, and bring together mine and my friend’s experiences of motherhood.

With the support of friends, family, and my coach Caroline (from Fitness by Caroline Drew), I began training for the Doha half-marathon. I was going to run the half-marathon in January 2020 at 33 weeks pregnant and raise money for Mind, the UK mental health charity. I contacted Mind, who were incredibly supportive, and set up a JustGiving page with GBP 100 target. Lit46

HEALTH & WELLNESS tle did I know, I would go on to raise GBP 1500!

With leaflets from Mind on postpartum depression, I spoke to my colleagues and friends about this illness, and I was stunned by how many women replied to me to tell me about their own experience. Some of my oldest friends had suffered, and I had no idea. This was, again, a moment of humility. Because when I stop to think how many mums there are in my life—in Doha and the rest of the world—and how much humankind suffers from physical and mental illnesses, I should expect to know at least one mum (or dad) who has experienced challenges with their mental health, perinatal or otherwise. That alone was more than enough motivation to spur me on, and thankfully, I had encountered no complications from running at all. If anything, it was the opposite—I noticed how bump would get restless if I left it too long between runs!

Shorter distance, tougher challenge My training built on my experience from running the first all-female 90K across Qatar, from Costa Coffee on the Corniche to Dukhan Beach, in January 2019.

That was my first ultramarathon. My friend, Stephanie Innes-Smith, had organised it, and it is thanks to her that I had fallen in love with long-distance running.

The challenge with the 2020 Doha half-marathon, however, was not the distance this time but the need to develop a strong core and maintain safe physical and mental health throughout my pregnancy. As bump grew each week, my centre of gravity changed and my shoelaces became harder to access. The challenge was still there, but knowing that I was able to enjoy mental and physical freedom—when so many others couldn’t—spurred me on each day.

Continuing conversations on mental health (and running) I carried on running until I was 41 weeks pregnant and baby Bertie came along four days later, arriving the day before lockdown. After allowing sufficient time to heal from my C-section, I am delighted to be re-lacing my trainers and looking for a new challenge. Mental health issues have been brought to the fore during this year’s pandemic, but it is important to remember that they were always there and will remain for so many people, even as we move out of lockdown.

I hope to visit schools in the upcoming term and open the conversation again on perinatal mental health with staff and school communities, as so many new parents come to Doha to raise their families. As a community, it is vital that we are aware of perinatal mental illnesses so that we can talk about them and support our mums.

They are stronger than they know and sometimes need to be gently reminded of that.

Katherine Milton has lived in Doha for the last seven years with her husband Richard and their sons Edward and Bertie, who were born in 2016 and 2020.

She works as an IB Diploma Coordinator at the Swiss International School of Qatar, where she also teaches French and IB Theory of Knowledge. DF

On the morning of 9th January 2020, in the torrential rain, I completed the Doha half-marathon in three hours. While not exactly a breakneck speed, I did run the entire distance which, with my sizeable baby bump, was a feat in itself. In a meaningful coincidence, that same day, my friend was discharged from hospital to begin her recovery at home.

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9 Work Lessons Learnt from Lockdown

BY Emma Morrell

Working from home during lockdown was certainly a challenge, but there were also a lot of things we learnt that we could hopefully take back with us to the workplace. Below are some of those lessons.

1. Challenge the status quo “Because we’ve always done it this way” is not a new thing. In fact, it has been criticised for years, yet it still abounds in many workplaces. If someone had told us in January that the way we worked in 2020 would change as dramatically as it has, we would never have believed them. Yet it did change—as did we. Change is hard, and it is harder when it is voluntary rather than enforced due to a pandemic. But that is not a good enough excuse to avoid being the best we can be.

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2. Busy is not the same as productive Coming into 2020, we were all so busy. Talking about how busy/tired/stressed we all were was like a badge of honour. If only we had known what was coming next! Working from home with new “co-workers” and juggling the varying demands of online schooling has been hard. But having less time available to work can have benefits, including greater focus and reduced procrastination. Let’s work smarter, not harder.

3. Business travel needed a rethink Many people believe that business travel will never be the same again. It is hard to see a scenario where we all go back to “normal” when some companies are actually seeing dramatic financial benefits to having zero business travel. Face-to-face meetings will always have their place, but the days of regularly jumping on a plane for a two-hour appointment are surely over.

4. You can’t put a value on collaboration The long-term effects of lockdown working are yet to be observed, but there have been a few studies in the past on widespread homeworking. Productivity initially can increase—just think of all that time saved by not commuting and having the office literally in your own home. But there are longer-term reductions in intangible outcomes, such as innovation and productivity. It turns out that little things like water-cooler chats, catchups over lunch, or conversations overheard in passing all add up to bigger things.

5. Help others Speaking of collaboration, helping others improves outcomes on every level. The recipient improves their potential, the giver feels better about themselves and is viewed more positively, and a better end-product is achieved. In the future, the recipient is more likely to either repay the favour or to pay it forward to someone else, allowing the cycle to continue.

6. Diversity matters Recent global conversations on race have brought the issue of diversity in the workplace to the forefront of our minds. They have changed the way many see diversity as a whole. Going forward, we all need to embrace a more diverse and inclusive workplace, understanding the value that our collective differences can bring.

7. (Actual) face time is overrated Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

We should be past the days of making sure we spend “enough” time in the office and not leaving until after the boss. We should be way past all that, but we are not. While no one liked being locked up in the house all day, there was something liberating about not having to be in the office all the time. Companies and employees alike are realising that a person doesn’t have to be in the office to be doing their best work.

8. But people time is not On the other hand, people need people. Regardless of our personality types and traits, we crave human interactions. We need face-to-face interaction to pick up on non-verbal cues and, not to mention, a break from spending even more time on screens. We need people to celebrate and commiserate with. We need them to brainstorm with us and keep us going when that deadline is looming.

9. Good mental health = higher productivity Mental health concerns during lockdown were at an all-time high, with people worried about extroverts needing human contact and introverts needing personal space. Fears were raised about increases in domestic violence and self-harm. Coming out of lockdown doesn’t mean those problems will magically go away, or, indeed, that they were never a problem in the first place. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that a happy and healthy workforce equals a more successful business. If we have learnt anything from lockdown, let it be to take care of ourselves and other people. DF 49

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FAMILY MATTERS

Helping Children Readjust to school with Mindfulness

by Laura Powell-Corbett

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Children are, understandably, both nervous and excited, and with emotions running high, how do you help support them?

It’s been a big upheaval for many families as they struggle to manage expectations with work and school.

Plus, their children’s mental health, as their main form of social interaction had been ripped from underneath them.

The Feeling Wheel

hen the lockdown restrictions were first announced back in March and schools closed their doors to students, we couldn’t have predicted that children would finish the school year via virtual learning.

Yet they did.

Thanks to careful management by Qatar, we have seen lockdown ease, with a set, phased plan to return to “normal” while still managing the risk of a second wave.

Yet, as we begin to leave the safety net of staying at home, the ramifications of a long period away from others is beginning to show.

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According to positivepsychology.com, research suggests that mindfulness has many benefits for children.

It can mitigate the effects of bullying, enhance focus, reduce attention problems, improve social skills, and enhance mental health and well-being. These are all things that children could benefit from in this uncertain time. But just how can you help your children practise mindfulness?

It’s often difficult for younger children to put how they feel into words. Using external tools such as a Feeling Wheel can help as a conversation starter when those emotions are just too big.

A Feeling Wheel is simply a segmented circle with a range of emotions labelled and drawn by your child.

These emotions can include: happy, sad, angry, proud, scared, excited, worried, or surprised.

For parents and caregivers, you can use the wheel as you talk to your children about their day, especially as 51

explore prompts with them, she has found that her children are more empathetic with her as well as each other, while still having the safe space of their journal to not have to share something if they choose not to. they head back into the school environment. As they talk to you, empathise and speak with them about how they felt during the experience to help them verbalise and process their emotions. Lisa, a mum of two, says this that she goes through this process at the end of the school day. It helps her daughters reconnect with her and helps her understand what they have been doing and feeling all day.

Journalling Sometimes, children do not feel comfortable verbalising their emotions and would prefer to express themselves more privately. They often feel safer exploring their thoughts and feelings, knowing that they are the only ones seeing them. Journalling offers a medium for children to really dig deep into what is important to them and also provides a space for reflection.

While your child is just getting started, you can offer prompts to jumpstart their thought and writing process. Questions such as “what makes you happy?” and “what are three things you are grateful for?” are excellent starting points.

Emma, a mum of two, likes to journal both with and without her children. By taking the time to really

Positive Affirmations Positive affirmations are statements that can help you challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. It is believed that repeating them often and believing them can help you make positive changes.

Some schools are now starting to use these, to great effect, with children as young as four. Laura, a mum to three, shares that her middle child’s class were starting the school day with a set of four affirmations. She says that this had a positive effect on all the children and had promoted a positive class atmosphere. Examples of those affirmations included: “I am unique.”

“I love myself.”

“I love my community.”

“My love can shape the world.”

Affirmations can also have a positive effect on children outside of the school day. Doha-based Merve set up Monkinya, a yoga and mindfulness brand for kids. Merve, through Monkinya, has created colourful affirmations cards containing affirmations specific to children to help them achieve a positive mindset. Two examples of these include “I am talented and creative” and “I sleep peacefully through the night”. These can be a great tool for parents to connect with their children and for children to learn how to speak positively about themselves.

Blowing Bubbles Deep breathing is a well-known technique for keeping calm. Unfortunately, it’s not always as easy to get your child to practise this by telling them “deep breaths”.

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So, instead, you can help them by having them blow bubbles. Ask your child to focus on taking a slow breath in and exhaling steadily to fill the bubble.

Sensory Play Dayna from Lemon Lime Adventures believes that mindfulness actually comes easily to babies and toddlers. After all, being mindful is being more aware of your surroundings. When young children stop to smell the flowers, they are completely in that moment. But that’s not the case for older children and adults, who often have other things on their mind that take them out of the present.

Therefore, it stands to reason that sensory play— which involves the senses of taste, touch, smell, sight, sound, and physical or emotional movement— helps reconnect children to, once again, living in the moment.

Simple sensory play ideas include: going for a walk and observing what you see, touching a variety of substances and describing the way they feel, using specific objects such as a mindfulness jar (a jar filled with coloured water and slow-moving glitter), or even listening to calming sounds. All of these can help your child.

Mindfulness Jar As previously mentioned, a mindfulness jar (otherwise known as a “calm down jar”) can be beneficial in helping your child focus. It is an effective way to teach children about how their minds work when they are experiencing negative emotions and what they can do to calm down.

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Jonathan, a dad to three, helped his middle daughter make a calm down jar when she was feeling anxious. He says that watching the glitter slowly settle to the bottom helped her to calm her negative thoughts and enabled them both to talk through what she was experiencing.

A mindfulness jar is simple to make and requires only four things: a jar, clear glue, warm water, and glitter. Simply fill the jar with clear glue—the more glue you add, the slower the glitter will take to settle—then top with a tablespoon of glitter and warm water. Screw the lid on and shake.

Final Thoughts These techniques are really only the tip of the iceberg, and a simple Google search will show you a plethora of mindfulness techniques suitable for children of all ages. There truly is something for everyone!

Whether your child benefits from deep breaths or yoga classes, mindfulness jars or journalling, it is important that we all keep the lines of communication open during this time, as our little ones return to the school environment after a long time away. DF

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Dad’s Recipes with Muhammad Nasir:

HEALTH & WELLNESS

The Power of Cooking During the Covid-19 Outbreak

By Kim Wyatt

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his year, cooking has made a comeback. With more time at home, we’re trying new recipes, sharing top tips, and experimenting more in the kitchen.

From absolute beginners to experienced chefs, many people have rekindled or kick-started a passion for cooking. Baking has been the clear winner, with lots of trending #InstagramWorthy photos of tantalising home-baked treats, from banana bread to brownies. It seems that the baking trend is showing no sign of slowing down.

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As many home bakers might tell you, pounding dough, beating eggs, and whipping cream can feel like therapy. Some studies have even shown that baking and cooking can help to alleviate depression, boost self-esteem, improve mental health, and give a sense of control in our daily lives. For Doha-based Muhammad Nasir, who is husband to Fawwazah and dad to 11-year-daughter Huda and seven-year-old son Yusuf, baking and cooking are “absolutely vital”.

“There is something about the smells and flavours in the kitchen that help you forget your troubles.

Cooking is therapy! I’ve tried all styles of cooking, but if I had to choose my favourite, it is baking. I just love the smells and flavours,” he says.

Born in Sri Lanka, Muhammad grew up in a busy household with four other siblings. His earliest food memories are filled with the annual Eid lunch where his mother, a keen home baker, would “cook up a storm” by preparing delicious menus filled with Sri Lankan food that Muhammad says “would trigger

HEALTH & WELLNESS every single taste bud in your mouth and bring every single sense to life”. In fact, Muhammad credits his mother’s culinary guidance and skills to helping him through his first days in Doha.

So, has Muhammad’s cooking style changed this year? “If I think about cooking my favourite Sri Lankan dishes, nothing has changed because most ingredients are available in Doha, thanks to my goto store—Ceylon Hypermarket,” he says. However, he does believe that the coronavirus lockdown has made him more adventurous: “I think Covid-19 has got me experimenting more in the kitchen by working on dishes that I would otherwise not even think about. I have some of my favourite dishes— pancakes, banana muffins, bread kottu, and a few others. I make a yummy tuna salad [that] the kids love.

When I’m in the zone, I like to cook a baked, cheesy, mouth-watering pasta dish.”

A typical day of eating in the Nasir household starts with homemade French toast for breakfast followed by a lunch of red rice with spicy chicken curry, gotu kola sambol (pennywort salad), and a brinjal moju (eggplant pickle). It ends with a dinner consisting of chapati (flatbread), leftover chicken curry, and a thick dhal (lentil) curry. Thankfully, Muhammad’s children now share his passion for cooking and also have their very own baking kits: “My kids love to cook. Thanks to my mother, both kids love baking too. They generally eat almost anything that is given to them, though they prefer sticking to their favourites.”

MUHAMMAD’S TOP TIPS

1. Do not be afraid to experiment with recipes.

2. Always remember the simple ingredients that can help salvage a dish if it becomes too spicy, salty, or sweet.

3. Enjoy the cooking process. You have got all the time on your hands, so have fun.

4. Simplicity is awesome. You don’t need to watch MasterChef to be a home cook.

5. Made a delicious meal? Don’t forget to take a photo. You might want to remember that meal for the next time you want to make it.

Autumn 2020 | Issue 15

Banana Muffins

Ingredients

l 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour l 1 teaspoon baking powder l 1 teaspoon baking soda l ½ teaspoon salt l 3 large bananas, mashed l ¾ cup white sugar l 1 egg l ⅓ cup butter, melted

Method

1. Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C).

2. Coat muffin pans with non-stick spray or use paper liners.

3. Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

4. Combine bananas, sugar, egg, and melted butter in a large bowl. Fold in flour mixture and mix until smooth.

5. Scoop the combined mixture into muffin pans.

6. Bake in preheated oven. If you are making mini muffins, then bake for 10 to 15 minutes, and if large muffins, then bake for 25 to 30 minutes. Muffins should spring back when lightly tapped.

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

Sweet Potato Cakes

Inspired by @nadiashealthykitchen on Instagram.

Banana Pancakes

Inspired by @delscookingtwist on Instagram.

Ingredients

l 1 and 1/2 cups self-rising flour l 2 tablespoons sugar l 2 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder l 1 pinch cinnamon (optional) l 1 pinch salt l 2-3 medium-sized ripe bananas (if very ripe, skip the sugar) l 1 cup milk l 2 large eggs l 1/4 cup canola oil

Method

1. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon (if using), and salt. Set aside.

2. In a separate bowl, mash the bananas with a fork (don’t mind if you have small chunks remaining). Add the eggs and pour in the milk and canola oil. Mix until just combined.

3. Pour the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and mix until just combined (do not overmix). Let sit for a couple of minutes (gets fluffier if you keep longer).

Ingredients l 3 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed l 3 spring onions, chopped l 1/2 head of broccoli, shredded l Small bunch of fresh coriander, chopped l 2 teaspoons paprika l 1/2 teaspoon chilli powder (add more if you want it spicier) l 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder l Salt & pepper l 5 heaped tablespoons oat flour or chickpea flour l Coconut oil for frying

Method 1. Preheat oven to 220°C/425°F. 2. Arrange the sweet potato cubes on a large baking sheet covered with parchment paper. Season with salt and pepper and drizzle with 1–2 tablespoons olive oil.

3. Roast in the oven for 30 minutes, then leave to cool.

4. Transfer the sweet potato into a large mixing bowl and mash with a potato masher or a fork.

5. Add the onions, broccoli, coriander, flour, chilli, and paprika. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Mix well then shape into small patties.

6. Heat 2 tablespoons coconut oil in a frying pan over medium to high heat. Cook for a few minutes on each side, then flip and cook for another minute or so until browned.

7. Serve with your preferred style of yoghurt dip (I like a spicy version). DF

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

Teen Talks:

Mental Health Advice

By Jade Diane Pires, age 17

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ental health. We, as teens and tweens, often hear about this issue from the media, be it because a celebrity is struggling with it or due to advice shared by psychological associations. However, in many of our conservative families, these issues are stigmatised and brushed under the carpet.

We are not taught how to deal with emotions, good ones and bad ones. We continue to sweep them under the carpet.

But there will come the point where we trip over the bumps on the carpet.

So, if you’re struggling, how can you deal with your issues in a healthy way?

First, stop feeling guilty.

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There is someone out there on Earth who has, at some point or another, experienced what you’re feeling.

Your emotions are not a problem, a burden, or an ugly wound to cover. They’re part of you, and the only way to deal with them so that they don’t come back to haunt you is to accept them. But, on the other hand, it’s alright to resent them, because nobody wants to feel small, worthless, or insignificant. Nobody wants to deal with a jumble of different feelings affecting their life. The important thing is to embrace them; embrace the resentment, embrace the anger, and embrace the feeling of wanting to curl up in a ball and cry.

Accept your emotions.

Secondly—and this is the hard part—try (if you can) to identify the source of your feelings. Whether you’re dealing with depression, anxiety, insecurities, or even just a bad day at school, there is likely a source to these feelings. However, identifying them is the challenging part. So, the best method is to ask or talk to someone about them—a friend, family member, therapist, or even a teacher at school. Having a second opinion will not only allow you to look more rationally at the situation, but it will also provide you with emotional strength.

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HEALTH & WELLNESS Admittedly, as a person who has struggled with relaying my own emotions to others, I understand that talking to someone about these issues may be difficult for you, especially as a teen. My advice is to use a journal of some sort; take a few minutes, or hours, to jot down what you feel and attempt to look at it from a rational perspective. Eventually, once you feel comfortable, you can relay these feelings to someone else.

Trust me, getting through this step could get ugly, but it will definitely be worth it.

Once you’ve gotten a grasp on what you think your specific mental health issue could be, you can figure out the next step you will take to work through it.

Depending on the severity, this could be seeing a therapist, seeking advice from the internet, or just blasting music and hitting a pillow (my personal favourite). The main point being: do not sweep these feelings under the carpet. No matter how you choose to deal with them, as long as you accept and challenge your irrational thoughts, you will learn to develop a healthy relationship with them. It won’t be easy—you will have ups and downs, but remember that there are people also experiencing the exact same feelings as you. You are strong, you will get through this, and you can do it.

You can get rid of the carpet.

Disclaimer: The advice shared in this article has not been evaluated by a medical professional and should strictly be taken the views of the writer. Doha Family neither assumes responsibility for this advice nor endorses it. If you require mental health help, please contact a medical professional. DF

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How to Qatar:

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Getting Mental Health Help By lisa gay

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xpats can especially find themselves in need of extra help due to the lack of traditional support networks they may have back home.

At the same time, awareness of mental health has grown in Qatar across all communities. There are now plenty of resources to help you or your family members during troubled times. Here is Doha Family’s guide to accessing mental health services in Qatar: 1. If you need immediate help, visit one of Hamad Medical Corporation’s (HMC) emergency departments.

For non-emergency consultations, call Hamad at 16000. Mental health professionals working in a variety of languages are available between 7 am and 10 pm daily.

2. Hamad has the most comprehensive array of mental health services in Qatar. The care is subsidised for residents, but you will need to register for a Hamad medical card (see our guide online for more on that). That said, you can still access mental health treatment through Hamad without a card, but you will have to pay higher fees.

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3. To avail of Hamad’s mental health services, book an appointment at your assigned Primary Health Care Corporation (PHCC) by calling 107. At your appointment, a GP will make an assessment and refer you to the appropriate mental health services through the Hamad system.

4. Alternatively, you can make a self-referral to Sidra Medicine. They have a robust range of perinatal mental health services. However, to access Sidra’s child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS), you will still need a referral from either a private health clinic, your assigned PHCC, or from a psychologist or nurse at your child’s school.

5. If you have private insurance, you can access the mental health services of hospitals within your network. The offerings will not be as expansive as Hamad, but they will usually specialise in specific areas or therapeutic services. It should be noted that they, too, can make referrals to Hamad.

Here’s a list of available services at popular private hospitals and clinics in Doha:

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LIVING IN DOHA

Al Ahli Hospital 4489-8888/8000 ahlihospital.com Al Ahli offers a range of mental health services for people of all ages, as well as substance abuse help.

Offerings include (but are not limited to): • Adult services: depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, schizophrenia, eating disorders.

• Children’s services: autism, ADHD, behavioural problems, anxiety and mood disorders, phobias.

• Elderly services: dementia, mood disorders.

Doha Clinic Hospital 6611-6958 (Psychiatry Department) dohaclinichospital.com Doha Clinic supports adults with various mental health disorders, including (but not limited to): depression, sleep disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), panic and anxiety disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Dr Aju’s Clinic 4436-5051/6655-4023 drajusclinic.com This dedicated mental health clinic and counselling centre offers an extensive range of services, including (but not limited to): depression, anxiety and panic disorders, stress-related problems, marital counselling, ADHD (adults and children), childhood and adolescent mental health and behavioural problems, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, eating disorders, OCD, PTSD, addiction, emotional problems related to medical illness, and emotional problems as a result of a loved one’s mental or medical illness.

Dr Aju’s Clinic also provides a variety of psychometric assessments.

Dr Madhu Pahwa Clinic 4486-7099 This private clinic owned by Dr Madhu Pahwa is a popular choice for both locals and expats. She addresses a wide variety of psychiatric issues for both children and adults and offers medical and therapeutic solutions.

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The International Medical Centre (IMC) 4488-4292 theimcentre.com The psychology and counselling services at IMC encompass a wide variety of therapy options for adults and children. Key services include (but are not limited to): depression, anxiety, panic and stress disorders, marital problems, PTSD, grief and adjustment problems, sleep disorders, chronic pain/fatigue, OCD, anger management, self-harm, behavioural problems, eating disorders, and workrelated issues.

Naseem Al Rabeeh Medical Care 4465-2121/5151 naseemalrabeeh.com The psychiatry division of Naseem Al Rabeeh provides mental health care for both children and adults as well as hypnotherapy to treat addiction, sleep disorders, eating disorders, and stress management. Offerings include (but are not limited to): • Adult services: depression, anxiety and panic disorders, marriage counselling, OCD, stress disorders, PTSD, attention deficit and learning disorders.

• Children’s services: autism, ADHD, behavioural problems, social and emotional difficulties, family counselling, anxiety disorders, academic and other school-related problems.

Weyak 4487-8766/8799 weyak.qa Weyak (Mental Health Friends Association) is a platform dedicated to raising awareness about mental health in Qatar and holds lectures, workshops, and training programmes. They operate a free phone counselling service for the community that responds to psychological, behavioural, family and educational problems from 3 pm to 9 pm, Saturday through Wednesday. DF

LIVING IN DOHA

The 3 Phases of Repatriation

by Emma Morrell

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Repatriation is commonly regarded as the hardest move in expat circles. Reverse culture shock, dramatic changes in lifestyle, a significant reduction in income, and loss of friendships all contribute to an unsettling time. There is also a misconception that moving home should be easy, which actually makes it quite the opposite.

There are, however, a number of ways to mitigate the negative effects and turn repatriation into a successful move.

t was hard to avoid the news that broke through Bloomberg on 10 June: “The Ministry of Finance instructed government ministries, institutions, and entities funded by the state to reduce monthly costs for non-Qatari employees by 30%.� That number could only mean BEFORE YOU MOVE one thing: many people will be on the move, leaving Qatar forever. In a PREPARE pandemic, with economies crashing into Just as you would prepare for a new assignment, prepare to move home. Treat this just like a new recessions, there will be just one option assignment. You may or may not be going back to the for many, and that is to go home. exact place you left. Even if you are, the place you left

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LIVING IN DOHA LOOK FOR POSITIVES

is not the same, and you are definitely not the same.

Do all the things you would do for any international move. For instance, you can research schools and medical facilities, or look at the best places to live and things to do at the weekends. Think about what you and your family need from this move and how this might impact your decisions.

CREATE A BRIDGE Try to mentally make the link between your new home and your old home. Although they are two distinct places, they are already linked by one important thing—you!

Think about all the things that your old home and new home have in common as well as how they are different. Understand what that means for you and your family. Consider how to create continuity between the two homes by making your new home feel like the old one. Pictures on the walls, recognisable ornaments, familiar furniture—these are all things that make us feel like we are “home”.

Having mementoes of your old life in your new house can also create that link between the two.

DEFINE “HOME” Traditionally, we think of home as being a house where we live. Expats might think of home as being a place in a particular country. It gets complicated when the place where we grew up is not the place we call home. Even more complicated is realising that our kids might have a different idea of where home is. Consider what home actually means to you and your family and redefine it so that you can all identify with it. The definition may evolve as your family gets older: a family with young children might need more things, while older children can better grasp the concept of having multiple places to call home. The core idea is to know that home is people and memories rather than a place.

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Keeping a positive mindset is a key factor in making any move successful. Just as you would look for all the things to get excited about in a new destination, repatriation should be no different. Let yourself get excited about being closer to friends and family or buying a place to call your own. Remind yourself of all the things that you have missed that you will get back again. It is very easy to focus on the place you are leaving or forget about the good things you will gain from moving home. It feels counter-intuitive to get excited about moving to one place while feeling sad about leaving another, but it is perfectly normal.

A positive mindset cannot guarantee a good reentry, but a negative mindset can sabotage it before you even get there.

DEPARTURE LEAVE PROPERLY Leaving properly is a must, and this has been made incredibly hard in times of lockdown. Expats across the world have struggled this year, missing rituals that are critical for getting closure. It is important to do whatever you can to leave well, as it is crucial to arriving in the next place well. Say goodbye to the people and places that made your time memorable.

Take photos of everything—the mundane and the familiar (one day you will wish you had them) and consider doing a photoshoot.

Have a bucket list of all the places you want to go and things you want to do, and tick off as many as you can.

GRIEVE Leaving is hard. Leaving is stressful.

Leaving is sad. Sometimes, leaving means saying goodbye to people we know we will never see again. Sometimes, it means saying goodbye to a part of yourself, or a time in your life that can never be repeated. Grieving is a crucial part of leaving. Denying yourself the chance to grieve is an easy option. Being so busy packing up and leaving means avoiding this uncomfortable emotion altogether can feel far less stressful.

LIVING IN DOHA However, getting closure is more important. Cry, talk, and vent! Share your feelings with friends and family. If you have kids, they need to know that these feelings are valid.

“RAFT” Developed by Dr David C. Pollock, the Raft method is a structured way to leave well. It stands for Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewell, and Think destination.

• Reconciliation refers to making things right with people before you leave. The theory is that leaving will not make unresolved problems go away and, in fact, can cause issues down the line.

• Affirmation is almost the opposite of reconciliation. Thank the people who made your lives better while you were there, while you still can.

Making people feel appreciated is a great thing that you can do.

• Farewell is exactly that—saying goodbye to people, places, and rituals/routines. Ever wish you had known that it was going to be the last of something? The last cup of tea with a special person, or the last time you did the school run? The idea behind this step is that saying goodbye brings closure to your departure.

• Think destination—this is the bit where you look to the future (see the next section). Talking about and researching what it will be like (similarities,

differences, where you will live, etc.) all help with the transition process.

AGAIN, LOOK FOR POSITIVES This is the hardest time to stay positive. Moving stresses are at an all-time high with packers arriving, goodbyes to be said and, often, a bottleneck of admin to handle. Yet, it is (arguably) the most important time to stay positive.

Of course, you can still be sad, but positive thinking can help your last few days and weeks be as enjoyable as possible.

ARRIVAL REVERSE CULTURE SHOCK The thing people least expect is to suffer culture shock in their native country. It is where you are from, so, surely, acclimatising should be smooth and easy?

Unfortunately, that is often not the case.

This is where reverse culture shock comes in, and it can really blindside you, even if you anticipate it. One problem is that things have moved on at home in your absence. Even if things have not changed, you certainly have. Your recent experiences of being at home have been while on holiday and have involved fun times with friends and family. They have not involved the school run, a long commute, or grocery runs. Family and friends, while excited to see you, might have demanding ideas about how often they will see you. Or, they might not have time for you having been used to seeing you just once every summer.

Feeling like a stranger in your own home country is one of the most bewildering feelings. It does get easier, so hang on to that knowledge.

HIDDEN IMMIGRANTS If you are finding things weird, your kids definitely will be. While your most recent memories of being at home are on holiday, the chances are that these are their only memories of your country.

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LIVING IN DOHA The term “hidden immigrant” (looks the same but thinks differently) is a cultural type developed by Dave Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken, alongside “foreigner” (looks and thinks differently), “adopted” (looks different but thinks alike), and “mirror” (looks and thinks alike).

When kids move, they often want to fit in straight away and be “normal”. Herein lies the difficulty for hidden immigrants: They might not be able to share “in” jokes or play the same sports as their friends. They might be behind or ahead in some areas of school or even hold different cultural values. They might look and sound the same as everyone else but have had completely different experiences.

RECONNECT WITH OLD FRIENDS AND FAMILY One of the best things about moving home is the chance to see all those people you have missed.

Seeing them regularly—instead of cramming an update on last year’s events into one dinner—is, frankly, refreshing. Having the ability to just drop in and see people or go to stay for the weekend brings back all the great parts of the familiarity of home.

Unfortunately, not everyone will be easy to see. Some will not understand or even want to know about your life abroad. They might expect you to be permanently happy to be back and might not understand if you find it hard, so you might find yourself holding your tongue and censoring what you say to them. You might even find yourself seeing less and less of these people. In your time away, you may have become used to this phenomenon and know it is impossible to keep all your old friends forever. It still stings, but those who are true friends will still be there.

STAY IN TOUCH WITH EXPAT FRIENDS Just because you have left a place, those friendships still exist, and the experiences and memories that you had with those people still happened. It will be harder to connect on a regular basis, given distances and time differences, but it is worth it. These people have known you the best and most recently. They may well understand you better than your family and friends at home. Expat connections run deep and are often forged quickly, so it is a mistake to let out of sight mean out of mind. It is also especially important for 64

children to maintain those connections. Sean Truman of Truman Group, an organisation providing remote psychotherapy and mental health consultation to expatriates, says: “There’s something really powerful about technology in really good ways about linking people to relationships with people that really matter to them.”

FIND A NEW NETWORK You might find yourself looking for new friends, especially if you have moved to a new area or the people you knew before have moved away. You need a network that understands you and your experiences.

From making friends at the new school to joining a club, new friends are going to be a big part of your “re-pat” experience. When we move abroad, we all put the effort in to meet new people, and this is no different.

EXPLORE YOUR “NEW” HOME It is so easy to underestimate what your local area has to offer, but there is so much adventuring to be had there, too. Head outside to national parks or even local parks and playgrounds. Get to know your local shops and restaurants. Perhaps consider getting away for the weekend and exploring something new a little further out from your area. As expats, we often seize the day, knowing there may not be another chance. As re-pats, we can forget that spontaneity.

YOU GUESSED IT: LOOK FOR POSITIVES While no one should bury the uncomfortable and unwanted emotions that moving can bring, staying positive is still a critical part of the process, even on arrival. Staying positive can really help to improve your outlook on a repatriation that may or may not have been through choice, and may or may not be going well.

STAY STRONG Throughout this all, know that the expat community is still here for you and everyone has your back. Repatriating may well be the hardest move you will make, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be successful. DF

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