FREE
A GLIMPSE INTO BROTHERHOOD
THE STRUGGLES OF GROWING UP ABROAD
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Water Sports and Activities for Teens
8 WAYS
TO VOLUNTEER WITH THE FAMILY
WINTER 2014 | ISSUE 11 | BROUGHT TO YOU BY DOHA MUMS | DOHAFAMILY.COM
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Contents
31 Winter 2014 dohafamily.com
On the Cover Nia (age 3) is the winner of the Doha Family Guide photo contest. Nia is from Bulgaria and is often found dressing up in a variety of outfits. Here she is wearing her favourite Hello Kitty glasses. Photo taken by Mariana Sivova
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On the Web
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Things We Like Kid-approved apps
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Marketplace Features
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A Glimpse into Brotherhood
Meet Hamza and Noony Alian as they give us a glimpse into what it is like to have a brother
Doha Family Guide
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The Struggles of Growing Up Abroad
Things to Do
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Dahl Al Hammam Park
Most of us are aware of the potential for culture shock when our families first move overseas, but what can we expect for our children when it’s time to move back?
Let the kids off the leash at this all-ages park
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Winter is coming! It’s time to get out to the beach and try a new sport
Tips on how to gently resolve sibling fights
Volunteering with the Family
A Special Solution to Sibling Strife
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Water Sports for Teens
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8 of the most popular kid-friendly volunteer opportunities in Doha
Applying to University
How your expat kid can get ahead of the college application process
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Inside This Guide
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Baby Care & Products Bean’s Barcelona 5547-6159 41 Just Baby 3314-6619 41 Try Nice Things 5569-4136 40 Children’s Retail Angelo 7040-6070 41 Play & Learn 4005-2600 46 Ziddy 4486-2288 6 Events/Entertainment Ayal Youth Festival 4420-5050 47 Events, Catering & Party Services Balloon Décor & More 3319-8817 40 Children’s Way 6658-6398 41 Easy Party’s 5559-4228 41 L&M Cocos Cakes 5594-3576 40 Mama Bears Cakes 3386-6125 41 Food & Beverages Carluccio’s Pearl Qatar 6690-1777 44 Nando’s 4444-2345 32 Spicy Pickle 4407-7119 12 Gifts, Cards & Books Artifacts of Arabia 14 Flip Flop Papers 3300-1866 40 Health & Medical Acti Patch 4467-7801 42 The Fetomaternal Centre 4475-6369 33 Virgin Health Bank 4404-9024 2 Hotels Marriott Doha 4429-8499 23 Jewellery Smallprint 6600-4306 40 Kids’ Activities DM Library See ad 26 Enana Ballet Academy 4444-1399 19 Funk n’ Play See ad 41 Hamilton Aquatics 3381-2212 40 4
It’s time to play 5599-6296 41 Jungle Zone 4499-9699 10 Laura Knight Academy of Dance 3346-9121 41 Legacy Sports Academy 5582-1375 24 Monkeynastix 4486-6293 29 Playball Doha 7794-3009 41 Science Made Fun 3399-6665 13 SFQ Sports Academy 4486-6293 8/15 Smart it 4451-7134 8 Toddler Soccer 4486-6293 8 The Gymnastics Academy 5582-9428 18 Leisure Classes Caramel 4442-6267 40 Sugar Flair 6694-7398 40 Nurseries Kanga’s Pouch Nursery 7788-6171 35 Little Academy 4460-2713 5 Steady Steps Nursery 6616-3682 38 The English Kindergarten (TEK) 4491-9318 9 Tiny Town British Nursery 4483-4553 34 Pets Qatar Vet Center 4016-1366 27 Photography Laura Utarbayeva Photography 5529-0340 40 Mariana Photography 6675-4219 23/41 Recruitment Charterhouse 4429-2555 46 Michael page 4413-3500 39 Relocation Services Santa Fe Relocation Services 4335-8919 28 Retail Bella Materna 4493-0914 35 Hyatt Plaza 4499-9666 30 Monoprix 4414-6642 48 Purely Honey 7736-1282 41 Takiwall 4460-4085 20 Virgin Megastore 4495-9060 22 Schools Al Nebras International Preschool 6622- 6678 18 GEMS American Academy Doha 4032-9000 45 Sue Anderson Boarding Schools UK See ad 28 Spa & Beauty Andrea Espinosa Make-up Artist 3392-2670 41 Tutorial Services Geometric Learning Centre 4427-9295 16 KipMcGrath 4417-7103 9 Oxford Learning Centre 4491-0777 36 Wellbeing Pilates with Maggie 5539-9158 40 Pilates with Theresa 5596-9124 40 Razor Fitness 3311-8103 27 SFQ Sports Academy 4486-6293 29 Stars R Fit 3363-8586 40 Take Flight - Life Coach See ad 41 dohafamily.com
THIS MONTH ON DOHAFAMILY.COM
HELP A CHILD REACH NEW HEIGHTS
48 HOURS IN DOHA Whether you’ve got family coming for a visit or need to entertain out-of-town work colleagues, check out this short list of must-sees for any Doha visitor.
GEARING UP FOR BABY We’ve talked to several mums to find out where are the best places to buy baby gear in Doha and which items you’re better off shipping from home.
RED FLAGS How do you know if your slow-to-speak child is just a late bloomer or whether it’s time for a professional evaluation?
NAVIGATING SOUQ WAQIF Now that the weather has cooled down, Souq Waqif is the place to be. From shopping to dining to sightseeing, check out our tips to visiting the souq.
A DOSA IN DOHA We’ve scoured the city for Doha’s best masala dosas. If you’ve never tried this savoury Indian crepe, now’s your chance!
Little Academy has a lot to offer… • • • •
Programs led by certified teachers Extensive foreign language program Certified music instructors Large soft & outdoor play area with garden space for each class
Mamoura Branch 6:00 am - 5:00 pm • Tel 44 60 27 13 Madinat Khalifa Branch 6:00 am - 5:00 pm • Tel 44 11 00 27 Little.Academy.Nursery
Doha Family Guide
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Things to Do
Parks
Dahl al Hamam Park BY Bethan Wyn Speakman
Undoubtedly one of the best places in Doha to let the kids off the leash! The park is located where Al Markhiya Street meets Arab League Street—only a short drive away from Landmark Mall. It’s a family-friendly park that has attractions galore; it even has a cave. In fact, the park derives its name from this cave (“dahl” means “cave”). Luckily for your children’s health and safety though, the cave is fenced-off and closed to the public.
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Things to Do
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large section of the park is a wide skateboards, scooters, roller-skates or bikes. There are green space set amongst flower-lined toilets conveniently located next to each playground, pathways—the perfect place to sit and a large café is situated by the park’s main entrance eat al fresco while the kids fly a kite, and on the opposite side of the park is a small cabin kick a ball and generally selling drinks and snacks. The toilets have some fun. Next to this is a large “A large section of and refreshments facilities are slightly courtyard where, occasionally, events run-down but the play areas, equipment the park is a wide and green spaces are very well-kept. are held and stalls set up—giving the green space set park a real community-friendly atmosphere. amongst flower- This park has lined pathways.” a more relaxed To keep youngsters atmosphere of all ages out of trouble, it has than some of Doha’s newer three very well-equipped parks and it is surely one playgrounds. However the of the best parks in Doha park’s pièce de la resistance for older children and the is its large smooth space for disabled. skateboarding complete with humps, slopes, bridges and a small half-pipe where kids can zoom around safely on their
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SFQSports
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Parks Key Information Nearby landmarks: Landmark Shopping Mall Opening hours: 07:30-00:00 (café opens 17:00) Entrance fee: Free Size: 93,297m2 Parking: As you drive through the park gates, you will see plenty of parking spaces straight ahead and all along the side of the park to your left. Driving directions • Driving north on D Ring, take the junction just before Landmark Mall onto Al Markhiya Street. • At the Dahl al Hamam roundabout, take the first exit right and then a slip road right; there’s a sign to Quortoba Kindergarten. • The entrance to the park is on your right. Drive through the park gates into the car park. Check out dohafamily.com for additional information and more park reviews.
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Relationships
A GLIMPSE INTO
BROTHERHOOD by Rachel Henriquez
Q&A Family Matters
Brotherhood is a special relationship. From childhood playmates to role models to confidants, even when the relationship takes work to build, there’s no denying that a brother is one of the most important people in a person’s life.
A Z M A H
I sat down with Hamza and Abdelrahman Alian to get a better understanding of what it’s like to have a brother. Originally from Egypt, they’ve been living in Doha for five years and they both attend Doha English Speaking School (DESS). Also, rather unconventionally, they call their parents by their first names, Fady and Hiba, rather than calling them “dad” or “mum.” According to their mother, Hiba, they’re great playmates. She said, “They’re lucky to have each other even if they don’t always realise it now. They’re always entertained.” Hamza, eight, is quite the intellect. According to his year three report, his teacher said he was a “fountain of knowledge.” He doesn’t like sweets like cake but rather his favourite foods are broccoli, spinach and seafood.
NOONY Doha Family Guide
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Family Matters Abdelrahman, or Noony, as his family and friends call him, loves football. He is seven years old. “Exactly one year, one month and one day younger than me,” says Hamza. According to Hiba, Noony is the goody two-shoes of the family. Even though both boys love FC Barcelona, Noony admits that he sometimes let’s Hamza play as them when they play football on the PlayStation.
Do you like having a brother?
Hamza: Sometimes and sometimes I regret it. Today we’ve been fine but I shouldn’t say that because usually when I say it’s all fine, it goes all bad.
When you do fight, what do you fight about? Hamza: He usually sits on me all the time. Noony: N o, he sits on me more. And he always gets mad at me when I make any noise. Hamza: I always tell him to be quiet.
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Noony: He gets angry at everything. Hamza: He’s really noisy.
He’s really quiet right now.
Hamza: Yep. When he’s nervous, he’s quiet. But when you leave, he’s actually a big chatterbox. Whenever he meets new friends, he’s always shy. He doesn’t speak. And whenever I meet new friends, I just go ahead and speak. We’re basically the opposite.
Do you think it’s a good balance? Hamza: Hmmm
No? You’d like it if he were a little more outgoing? Hamza: Yeah. Because once Hiba was introducing Noony to one of her friends and Noony was so shy he didn’t speak. He didn’t say a word.
Noony: I did say some words. Hamza: Some words but most of the time he was silent. And I just did what everyone does when they meet new people, shake hands, and say “Hi.”
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Relationships So, he’s shy but he’s loud.
Noony: [giggles] Hamza: Yes. He’s shy and nervous and silent when he meets new people. Noony: [finally starts to come out from behind the chair he’s been hiding in]: He says like two million words a day. Hamza: Actually, that’s actually true. Well, it’s kind of true. I don’t say two million words a day.
That’s a lot of words. Have you been counting them, Noony?
Hamza: Nope. He hasn’t been counting. He’s estimating. Noony: I did. [laughs] I don’t count all the words every day. That gets boring. I just ignore him and play video games.
Doha Family Guide
Noony, what do you think Hamza should be when he gets older? What do you think he would like to be and what do you think he should become? Noony: [laughs] A toilet cleaner.
He should be one or you think he wants to be one? Noony: He should be one.
Hamza: No, I know what I want to be and that’s not what I’m going to do.
What do you want to be?
Hamza: An inventor, a scientist and an archaeologist. I basically like science but most of the stuff at school is really boring because I already know it. He’s [Noony] always wrong about me.
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Family Matters And what do you think Noony should be when he grows up?
Hamza: [laughs] A cage cleaner for animals at the zoo. Noony: N o! I’m not going to be a cleaner for the animals at the zoo. I might be wrong about him because he is a chatterbox and he thinks he’s funny but he’s not. Hamza: I don’t do jokes all the time. Noony: Most of the time. Hamza: No. Noony: Yes. Hamza: Did I do a joke today? Noony: Yes, now.
What is the best thing about having a brother?
Hamza: Well the worst thing about him is his bossy mouth. Let me tell you what I mean about him being bossy. Most of the time when I’m playing, he keeps telling me to do this or that and he sits on me to get me to give him my controller. And the best thing about having a brother is that they’re playful and they help you. Noony: I only help him one time a year. Hamza: Sometimes even two. If I’m lucky. Noony: Or four. Hamza: If you’re even luckier. And even ten if you’re even more luckier.
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Relationships Noony: I only helped him five times last year because he was so lucky. But this year I’m not going to help him. Hamza: You have to help me at least once to carry on your will.
And Noony, what’s your favourite thing about your brother? You said nothing but there’s got to be something. Hamza: There’s always something. Noony: Only one thing. His face. It makes me laugh.
“ A BROTHER IS A FRIEND GIVEN BY NATURE”. Jean Baptist Legouve
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Family Matters
Global Youth
AROUND THE WORLD AND BACK AGAIN:
THE STRUGGLES OF GROWING UP ABROAD BY ELLEN MAHONEY
I
recently asked my father about what was going My father was right. My sister and I, at ages through his mind when he accepted his first 7 and 13 respectively, adapted at lightening speed. international assignment to Tokyo in 1984. He said, We loved our little international school in Tokyo and “Honestly, your mom and I just wanted to travel. quickly made friends with children from around the We wanted to go on adventures. And we knew world. I tried the strange food my Australian friends that you and your sister would adapt to the travelling called Vegemite. I learned the rules of Oware, the because we had seen you adapt before.” Ghanaian Mancala game. I listened to There was actually not a ton of discussion. “Honestly, your the terrifying stories of abduction that They both said the decision to move friend who grew up in Beirut would mom and I just my to Japan was made quickly and easily. share with us. I tried all sorts of My father grew up in a homogenous wanted to travel. dumplings when my friend from Hong community in Brooklyn where all of his invited me to my first Dim Sum. We wanted to go Kong friends were first-generation American, I marvelled at the fancy homes of Catholic and of either Norwegian or Irish on adventures.” my friends whose parents were decent. He said as a child he would ambassadors to Columbia and Portugal. watch the little black and white TV in his apartment And every day I would walk home from school and and would be enraptured by any footage of the world stop at the shops along the way, making friends with outside of Brooklyn. He wanted to see the world and Japanese store clerks block by block. An adventure he figured that if he would get a lot out of that it truly was. adventure than surely his children would, too. Doha Family Guide
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Family Matters Besides being delighted that my sister and I were loving this opportunity as much as they were, my parents were also relieved to find that the international schools provided a more rigorous and quality education than the public schools we would have attended in the U.S. After five years in Japan, we moved back the U.S. for a few years and then on to Singapore. Singapore was another adventure that we all embraced. My father told me from a young age to “remember we are gypsies.” By the time I was a teenager I embraced that identity. I believed
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I was born with wanderlust in my heart and it was with that spirit that I explored the city-state of Singapore.
“ I was born with wanderlust in my heart.” Still, when it came time to graduate from the American international school I attended, I decided to go back to the U.S. for university while my parents continued their travels overseas. I thought being around Americans and learning more about what it meant to be American would be an adventure in and of itself. I didn’t expect to have too many challenges adjusting, given that the U.S. was my own country. But about three months into the experience, I started to become depressed. That depression would last seven years. Depression made it hard to concentrate in school, impossible to sleep. I felt alienated from my American
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Global Youth peers and had difficulty forming intimate long-term friendships and relationships. All the while, my parents were on another continent, my safety nets and support systems far, far away. When I first realised that I had a problem, I reached out to my friends around the world who had returned to their home countries for university. It turned out that almost every single one was having a hard time. Some were struggling the way that I was, others had turned to drug abuse, a handful dropped out of college and in the worse case, I learned that an old friend committed suicide.
Doha Family Guide
I was shocked that no adult in our international community prepared us for this. My parents were utterly confused by what was going on with me. They were still living overseas and hadn’t experienced reverse culture shock yet. They saw how well my sister and I adapted to a foreign country; how could I possibly be struggling to adapt to my very own? It must have been scary, or at least frustrating, for them to see me so down and to see that there was somehow a connection between our life overseas and the suffering I was going through back in the U.S. If their employer prepared
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Family Matters them, if support systems were in place at my school, if my university had been trained to see these warning signs, then I could have avoided this stifling depression or at least minimised it. But this was new territory for all of us. Today, thanks to the help of a psychologist, the support of my friends and family and the camaraderie I have enjoyed in the international community around the world, I am happy and healthy and still so grateful for my time abroad. In fact, I now run a mentoring program for young people growing abroad, ages 16 to 23, called Sea Change Mentoring. I wanted to design a program that would harness the skills and insights that come from the incredible experience of living abroad and apply them to young people’s personal, academic and professional goals. I also wanted to make sure that our mentors helped them develop coping skills and support systems so that they could navigate the challenges of reverse culture shock or the idea of not having a fixed home. It is truly rewarding work.
“ Global youth have such rich experiences and they pick up skills and perspectives that can help everyone around them.” I asked my mother and father if they observed anything about my sister and I, now adults, that they thought was the result of our time overseas. They both shared the same answer. They said that my sister and I have such diverse friends of all races, nationalities, religions and political views. My mother remarked at how we weren’t intimidated by difference. My father wondered if we had stayed in one place our whole childhoods, would we be as open-hearted as we are today? I am grateful for this
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Global Youth
e h t k c e h C y l i m a F a Doh ! s e i r o t c e Dir B
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Ellen Mahoney is the founder and CEO of Sea Change Mentoring (seachangementoring.com). She is based in San Francisco, California but her work takes her all over the world.
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part of my identity and I see this quality and many other positive qualities like flexibility, creativity and communications skills in the international youth I work with today. The fact is, global youth have such rich experiences and they pick up skills and perspectives that can help everyone around them. My vision for the future is a world where the challenges of being cross-cultural are managed well thanks to strong sources of support so that we can all benefit from these young people’s unique global insight.
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SERIOUSLY FUN. ALPHABET & COUNTING QR129 Virgin Megastore makes learning fun with the Alphabet & Counting Puzzle Card Set.
FROZEN QR89
When a princess with the power to turn things into ice curses her home to an infinite winter, her sister, Anna teams up with a mountain man, his playful reindeer and a snowman. That’s right! There’s a princess, a reindeer and a talking snowman. Your child will love this movie.
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Enter the most fantastical world of Lego building where your child can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary with an all-new and unique digital master building ability. It’s Lego and a video game in one! What more could your kid want?
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Virgin Megastore brings you the best scooters that your kids are sure to enjoy for a long time. These scooters are suitable for 6-12 year olds. The handlebar height adjusts so that your little one can continue to use the 21st Scooter even as they grow. How cool is that?
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SERIOUSLY COOL. 22
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Things We Like Check out these great apps for kids Book Creator In the age of Kindles and iBooks, this app lets kids become their own publishers. They can create books, add music and videos and share them with friends and family. Completed books can then be viewed on Apple iBooks and even uploaded to the iBooks Store and Google Play Books. Cost: US 4.99 For ages: 6+ Works on: Apple iOS (iPad only), Android (tablets only) Hopscotch Hopscotch might just be the app to set your kid on the path to becoming the next Steve Jobs or Bill Gates. This app teaches children programming logic and allows them to make their own games, stories and other programs using simple iPad commands: swipe, shake, voice, etc. Cost: Free For ages: 8+ Works on: Apple iOS Minecraft Pocket Edition Unless you’ve been living in a cave, you’ve probably heard of this block-building game. Although the concept is simple—you break or place blocks—it allows kids the creative freedom to build their own worlds. From building houses to rollercoasters to zombies, the construction options are boundless. Cost: US 6.99 For ages: 6+ Works on: Apple iOS, Android, Kindle *Age recommendations are based on Common Sense Media app ratings.
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Things to Do
Activities
S T R O P S R E WAT TEENS FOR gson lie Hod a h t a N By
IF YOU ARE WONDERING HOW TO KEEP YOUR TEENAGER ENTERTAINED IN DOHA, THEN WATER SPORT ACTIVITIES MAY BE YOUR ANSWER. A peninsula surrounded by the Arabian Gulf, Qatar has numerous opportunities and programmes for water sports and activities: sailing, wake boarding, wind surfing, stand up paddle boarding (SUP), diving, kayaking and more. Each of these activities is a great way for your teen to test their abilities. Aside from the obvious physical health benefits, water sports assist teens with building strong relationships, strengthening their self-worth and challenging themselves to gain new skills. These water-based activities require stamina and self-reliance, and conquering these sports will help them approach the future with more courage and confidence.
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Things to Do HERE ARE SOME RESOURCES FOR A VARIETY OF WATER SPORTS TO GET YOUR TEENAGER STARTED: SAILING
There are several sailing clubs in Doha, all of which offer certificates programmes. Training programmes start simple (for example on dinghy sailing boats) and teach basic sailing skills before working up to proper sailing boats or small yachts. Introductory certificate courses range from five to eight week programmes that meet once a week for several hours. Regatta Sailing Academy regattasailingacademy.com +974 4442-4577 +974 5550-7846 Offers the Royal Yachting Association (RYA) Youth Sailing Scheme certification programme at a special rate for teenagers. Non-members are welcome.
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6000+ books
Doha Sailing Club qmsf.com • +974 4443-9840 Hosts the Qatar Sailing and Rowing Federation (QSRF). Membership is required; family and individual options available. The Club also offers rowing and windsurfing.
STAND UP PADDLE BOARDING (SUP)
SUP is a cross between traditional surfing and paddle boarding. Just as the name implies, the paddler stands up on a board similar to a surfboard and uses a paddle to glide across the water. It is a huge hit in the U.S. and is growing in popularity in many other parts of the world including Doha.
Special thanks to SFQ Sports Academy for their support! *Our private library is available to Doha Mums members only.
dohamums.com
Doha Mums Children's Library 26
Titles for ages birth to teen in Arabic, French, English, Spanish, Dutch, Korean and more!
Find your favorite book at library.dohamums.com dohafamily.com
Activities QSUP qsup.me • +974 6660-2830 Offers several SUP classes including SUP Yoga, a combination of paddle boarding and yoga —a great way to flex your mind and body.
Kayaking keeps you fit and is a fantastic way of seeing what the country has to offer from the water. There are a variety of excursions on offer such as paddling through mangroves, overnight camping or kayaking amongst the dhows.
Paddle Qatar paddleqatar.com • +974 5549-0895 Offers a PaddleFit course, which is a fitness class that combines SUP and kayaking manoeuvres.
Entalek Tours entalek.org • +974 3023-3207 Also offers snorkelling, eco-adventure and environmental education tours.
Entalek Tours entalek.org • +974 3023-3207
Paddle Qatar paddleqatar.com • +974 5549-0895
KAYAKING
Two companies in Doha offer carefully crafted tours guided by expert kayakers that take people on water journeys around natural habitats and beautiful architecture.
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Things to Do SCUBA DIVING
There are a number of centres around Qatar, which offer a range of Professional Association of Diving Instructors (PADI) certification courses for all ages. They all offer recreational courses as well as professional and speciality courses (night diving, underwater photography, wreck diving, etc.) for those with more serious diving goals. Poseidon Diving Centre pdcqatar.com • +974 4442-8402 Qatar Scuba Centre qatarscubacenter.com • +974 6666-2277 Qatar Divers qatardivers.com • +974 4431-3331
KITE BOARDING
This sport is not for the faint of heart. Instead of just using waves to propel your board across the water, kite boarding uses a large controllable kite to harness the power of the wind. Courses often start with safety lessons and practice on dry land before having a go on a board. Flo Kite School flokiteschool.com • +974 5504-1039 Kitesurfing Qatar kitesurfingqatar.com • +974 3017-9108
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Y NURSER GUIDE
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More than 50 of the most popular Doha nurseries. We have already taken the tours! You have questions? We have answers!
PARASAILING, WINDSURFING, WAKE BOARDING AND MORE
If your teen has trouble deciding which sport to pursue, these beaches offer several activities, which would be a great way to test the waters, so to speak. Katara Village Katara Village has a 1.5 kilometres beach where teenagers can enjoy a relaxed beach experience or participate in the many water sport activities on offer. They have wake boarding, pedal boats, water skis, knee boarding, canoes, banana rides, windsurfing and parasailing. katara.net/english/the-village/fun/ +974 4408-1017 +974 7710-0151 dohafamily.com
Activities The Diplomatic Club The Diplomatic Club offers an array of water activities for members and non-members including wakeboarding, water skiing, banana rides and dinghy sailing. thediplomaticclub.com • +974 4484-7444 Sealine Beach Resort The Sealine Beach Resort is located in the southern part of Qatar in Mesaieed City. They offer a number of water activities, including banana rides, wind surfing, water skiing, jet skiing, snorkelling and even a floating trampoline. katarahospitality.com/our-hotels/sealine-beach-resort/ +974 4476-5299
Doha Family Guide
WATER SPORTS DAY EXCURSION
Several tour operators in Doha offer full-day water sports boat tours ideal for families with teenagers. You boat across to Safliya Island and can choose from jet skiing, banana boat rides, doughnut riding and water skiing. Included in the package are the equipment, drinks, lunch and insurance! Qatar International Adventures (QIA) qia-qatar.com • +974 4455-3954 Qatar Inbound Tours inboundtoursqatar.com/ +974 6687-1668 +974 7745-1196
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Family Matters
Siblings
A special solution to sibling strife BY LARA KRUPICKA
They’d barely tumbled in the door from school when it started. “Mom! I called that seat first!” “Mom! She took two cookies and I only got one!” And there I was, jumping in to play referee…again.
! t i e k o r “He b e!” n i M s i It Doha Family Guide
“She pulled my hair!”
“I had that first!”
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Siblings
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f your house is anything like mine, you probably feel like you spend much of your time with your kids trying to solve spats and silence the bickering. But you also probably keep holding onto the hope that one day there might be harmony. Guess what? There is hope! It comes in the form of one simple word: “special.” Here are three ways focusing on “special” can increase the peace in your home:
ids Parents t o K
Treat each one as special
Maybe we think this should go without saying, but kids like to feel they’re special. Even though we know it, we sometimes confuse our desire to be fair to our
children with treating them equally. But they’re not equal. Dr. Scott Turansky, co-author of Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining and Bad Attitudes...in You and Your Kids! (with Joanne Miller), suggests that parents try instead to treat kids independently. He notes, “Parents inadvertently encourage competition by treating them the same. Kids look for inequities.” Turansky often reminds parents that “fair doesn’t mean equal.” We know we should treat our kids differently from each other because they are different from each other. But framing it as treating them “special” creates a more positive environment. It makes those differences a good thing. When each child in a family can feel valued, there’s less chance for conflict to develop due to competition.
“ Look for ways to engage each of your children.” Look for ways to engage each of your children in an activity all their own that you don’t share with any of their siblings. Maybe you can play chess with one child and scrapbook with another. Or include one of them
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as your biking buddy, while you save time for doing jigsaw puzzles with the other. Point out the strengths of their particular temperament and ways each one adds to your family. You might say, “Susie, I appreciate how much you love being around people. You do such a good job making our friends feel welcome when they visit.” Or, “Daniel, you make a good leader. I like how other kids look to you to help decide what to do when you’re playing.”
Parents t of lict C on
Address issues individually
When bickering and fights take place, it’s our tendency as parents to tackle the offenders as a unit. Instead, Turansky advocates separating children. “Work with one kid at a time. Give each one a separate plan, particular to them.” With this concept in mind, once we’ve deciphered the nature of the issue at hand, we can move on to addressing the conflict one-on-one with our kids. This allows us to observe each child’s role in the conflict and helps isolate the factors involved. Then we can tailor the problem-solving strategy to the individual child’s age, personality and strengths. As we do this, we should emphasize the unique solutions each particular child brings to the situation.
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Siblings Making them feel special as peacemakers empowers kids to become more effective at resolving their conflicts. For example, sometimes arguments ensue when one child wants to be left alone, while another craves attention. Taking them each aside gives you the chance to draw their attention the positives of the interaction. You can say, “Jane, your younger brother really looks up to you. Do you think maybe he’s just wanting to be with you because of that?” And you can suggest to the younger one that his enthusiasm might be overwhelming to his sister and propose that he find a creative way to invite her to do something fun after she’s had some time alone.
Kids t o Kids
Teach them to value each other
Parents also need to cast a vision for their kids of having a loving home environment where everyone treats each other as special. Make it a habit to take time to celebrate each other’s accomplishments. Talk with each child about ways they could do something
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Family Matters unexpected for their siblings. Encourage them to speak well about and to one another. Then praise them liberally when they do any of these things. When kids begin developing a pattern of displaying these behaviours, the level of conflict in the home subsides. After all, it’s hard to be angry with someone who has done something kind for you. We saw the benefits of casting this vision one year when my then seven-year-old daughter, Evelyn’s, birthday approached. Everyone in the household grew tired of her (hourly) exclamations of how many days were left until her celebration. At first her sisters hounded her to stop and fights erupted over her right to have a birthday countdown. Then one day my eldest daughter found a solution. She began announcing each morning the number of days remaining for her sister. Evelyn loved the recognition and her excessive counting down stopped. Being made to feel special by her sister solved the struggle they’d been having.
“ Make it a habit to take time to celebrate each other’s accomplishments.” Turansky points out that the key element is remembering that we’re trying to teach our child how to relate to other children. “It’s your child’s first class in relationship school,” he says. “They’re building the skills necessary to be successful.” Look for ways to implement these three approaches to bickering in your family. Because when “special” becomes the byword in your home, your family life will be exceptional indeed. Lara Krupicka is a freelance writer with a passion for helping moms make choices that transform their lives. She especially loves her husband and three girls (who also love each other… most of the time). Doha Family Guide
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Education
Getting Ahead
APPLYING TO UNIVERSITY FROM ABROAD BY AMANDA BATE
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Doha Family Guide
Tip 1 :Don’t be afraid to get information early One of the benefits of being a third culture kid (TCK) is clearly the exposure to multiple cultures. Therefore, it’s not uncommon for some TCKs to apply to universities in multiple countries. Your student may decide to apply to several American universities, a few French ones and a couple in the United Kingdom. As a result, it is better to prepare early and understand the nuances of each application process. Some countries might have a single application that is filtered to multiple universities. Others countries may have institution specific applications. This means each 37
Education university has its own unique application process. It’s important to know the requirements early on including any required testing so that your student can be prepared.
Tip 2: Connect with admissions representatives at university fairs Some universities send representatives to international schools or expat communities for recruitment. These are valuable as students can speak with an admissions officer in person. To make the experience helpful, do some research prior to the event. Review the university website for admissions procedures. Research the various academic programs of interest. Also, ask questions that are relevant to the student’s specific situation. What are the internship opportunities for graphic design majors? Are international students eligible for financial scholarships? What is campus life like on the weekends? As you ask your questions, don’t forget to get the contact information for the admissions representative so that you can follow up later. If there aren’t any admissions fairs in your area, visit sites such as CollegeWeekLive.com to participate in virtual ones.
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Tip 3: Request to chat with current students If your student hasn’t lived in any of the places on their prospective university list, it will help to talk to current students. Current students can give the best perspective of the day-to-day life at their university. No two schools are alike and it is helpful to ask questions of someone who can give an honest assessment. Even if the TCK is returning “home” for university, they might find it comforting to be on a campus with a global presence. It is worth video chatting with a student to determine if a school could be a good fit. You can ask the admissions office to find a student who might be willing to share their experiences. You can also speak with your student’s secondary school counsellor to find out if there are any alumni attending schools your student is interested in.
Tip 4: Figure out the financial costs For planning purposes, it is a good idea to find out what the estimated tuition fees and associated costs will be. Will your child receive a discount rate as a citizen of that country? Are there special scholarships
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Getting Ahead that your student may qualify for due to their academic, athletic or some other ability? In some countries, the cost for higher education is minimal provided a student is able to gain acceptance. In other countries, such as the United States, citizens must complete financial assistance forms if they intend on receiving aid to help with university costs. Check with prospective universities to get a general idea of how much your family will be expected to contribute towards your student’s education. Applying to university can be daunting but these tips will help you and your TCK as you navigate the process. Amanda Bate is the Founder and CEO of Bate Consulting, a U.S. based consulting firm that provides university admissions counselling to third culture students who intend on pursuing studies in the United States. She also blogs about the American admissions process and everything university related on her blog, Prepped & Loaded.
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Marketplace
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Things to Do
Volunteering with the Family By Nathalie Hodgson
Charity Work Getting your child involved in volunteer work has countless benefits. Focusing on others for a change can be really enjoyable. Taking yourself out of your normal environment, meeting new friends and facing situations where you can learn new skills, all while helping others can be an important life experience—especially for kids.
Choosing the right opportunity Volunteering provides children with the opportunity to learn about local social and environmental issues and how various organisations tackle these concerns. Selecting an industry or subject the child shows some interest in will boost their passion and make it more enjoyable. Children who see their parents volunteering, are much more likely to believe in the value of working to help others, so consider selecting an activity that the whole family can enjoy. Choosing a “hands on” activity is also important but make sure it is age-compatible by checking with the organisers first. Scouting the environment for tasks that can be completed by your child and providing close supervision and direction will ensure that they enjoy their volunteering experience.
IAL C O S L CA O L ” T . U S E O U B S A S “LEARN ONMENTAL I VIR N E D N A Doha Family Guide
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Things to Do
! d e t r a t S t e G
Charity Work
Reach Out To Asia (ROTA) ROTA works with a variety of partners in Doha to fulfil its mission to help people across Asia being affected by crisis. It aims to indoctrinate the spirit of volunteerism and encourage involvement in community development both in and outside Qatar. Children can get involved in many ways, although a parent needs to be the primary volunteer applicant. Children can participate in fundraising events and community awareness projects, which would entail handing out flyers, placing banners and billboards. reachouttoasia.org • +974 4454-1603
Qatar Volunteer Group (QVG) One of the largest online volunteer groups in Qatar, QVG organises various events every year such as the Heatwave Awareness Campaign (Cool Campaign) during summer, Beach Cleaning Campaign, Iftar Drive (Muslim Fasting Month of Ramadan). They also promote international events such as Earth Day, World Water Day and Breast Cancer Awareness. These events involve various activities and experiences for all ages and are a great way to get started in volunteering. facebook.com/volunteerinqatar
The Youth Company (TYC) Founded in 2010 by then 22-year-old Mohamed Farid, The Youth Company aims to increase social awareness among young people. This non-profit has become a very popular option for volunteering events. Although targeted at the older youth age group, their events can still be enjoyed by families and younger teenagers (even if you are not a member). Youth Leader Abdulrahman Sajid said that through volunteering, young people develop a sense of community and responsibility for the issues they face. theyouthcompany.com • +974 4443-4167
Sustainable Qatar If your family loves the environment, then this is the group for you. This independent organisation is made up completely of volunteers who meet every month to address environmental issues relevant to Qatar. Since 2008, they have worked hard to raise awareness about environmental matters and coordinate various conservation projects. Families can get involved in awareness evenings, clean-up projects or tour conservation efforts across Qatar. sustainableqatar.com • +974 5516-2764
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Doha Mums new 2014.pdf 1 10/15/2014 12:06:11 PM
CHARTERHOUSE Do you know what’s on the other side?
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Things to Do
Charity Work
Poseidon Dive Centre Although not a volunteering company, Poseidon Dive Centre is heavily involved with protection of the environment, mainly the seas surrounding Qatar. For example, sponsored by the Ministry of Environment, Poseidon Dive Centre, Qatar Divers, Project Aware and GUWAA (Global Under Water Awareness Association) organised an event in September called Dive Against Debris. This initiative from GUWAA coordinated a mass clean up of seas, rivers and lakes in 80 countries on the same day. pdcqatar.com • +974 5524-6651
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Qatar Animal Welfare Society (QAWS) QAWS is all about animal care. The facility is run by donations from the community and is fully supported by the volunteers who feed, clean, socialize and spend time with more than 100 orphaned and abandoned animals. There are many ways a family can assist this worthy cause. Taking the kids for a visit to the shelter to donate some animal food and have a little cuddle is just one of ways you can start! qaws.org • +975 5539-6074 Friends of the Environment This not-for-profit organization works very closely with the government, NGOs and private sector companies dedicated to environmental protection and conservation. They conduct field trips to monitor insects, birds and other species around town. They hold school competitions, exhibitions and other community events to raise funds and awareness on anything to do with the environment. fec.qa • +974 4487-4725 Qatar Red Crescent Just like all the other Red Crescent organisations around the world, Qatar’s is very active. They coordinate international relief actions and promote humanitarian support to those in need. Family volunteers can get involved in collecting and packing food items as well as a range of other relief efforts that are organized by the team. Becoming a member adds you to the network to receive more information on their volunteer opportunities. qrcs.org.qa • +974 4402-7777 dohafamily.com
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