Issue #14 Doha Family Guide Autumn 2015

FREE

Teens Taking the Wheel

FINDING A JOB IN QATAR

DOUBLE SPEAK 10 ways

to encourage multilingualism

Lunches Kids Love

AUTUMN 2015 | ISSUE 14 | BROUGHT TO YOU BY DOHA MUMS | DOHAFAMILY.COM

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Doha Family Guide

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Contents

Autumn 2015 DohaFamily.com

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Features:

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Double Speak

On the Web Editor’s Letter

30

Things We Love

62

Marketplace

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10 ways to encourage multilingualism in your children

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Lunches Kids Love

It’s back to school and that means packed lunches! These tips will help you pack healthy and tasty meals your kids are sure to love.

A look into Qatar’s driver’s licence process for teens

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Chasing Away the Nightmares How to help your child cope with this common childhood event

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Teacher Troubles

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What to do when your child says that he or she does not like their teacher

Finding a job anywhere can be a daunting task, but what about finding a job in Qatar where most positions are filled before the recruit has even landed in the country?

Things to Do:

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Jungle Zone

Finding a Job

Transitioning a Maid

What to expect when you’re expecting a new maid

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45

Teens Taking the Wheel

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Unassuming from the outside, you’d never guess all the fun this jungle-themed indoor amusement park has to offer.

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THIS MONTH ON DOHAFAMILY.COM

HELP A CHILD REACH NEW HEIGHTS

LIFTING THE VEIL OF MOTHERHOOD PAIN One expat mum shares her experience with post-natal depression while living in Qatar.

DIGGING DEEP INTO YOUR ROLE AS A 'TRAILING SPOUSE’ Five essential questions all expats should ask before beginning a professional or personal development endeavour Little Academy has a lot to offer…

BACK TO SCHOOL How to prepare your family and your household for the new school year

AL RAWNAQ TRADING COMPLEX REVIEW We’ve got all the details on Doha’s best not-so-secret store for home, school, craft and office supplies.

• • • •

Programs led by certified teachers Extensive foreign language program Certified music instructors Large soft & outdoor play area with garden space for each class

Mamoura Branch 6:00 am - 5:00 pm • Tel 44 60 27 13 Madinat Khalifa Branch 6:00 am - 5:00 pm • Tel 44 11 00 27 Little.Academy.Nursery

Yama Yoga: Yoga for the Three Stages.

Pre-natal, Post-natal, Mommy and me (and also child-free)

10 TIPS FOR RAISING A READER Fun ways to help your children experience the joy of reading

Doha Family Guide

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Editor’s Note Change Will Come

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his week my daughter started nursery and for the last couple of days my emotions have been all over the place. The first day was rough. She cried when I left; I cried in the car. When I picked her up that afternoon, she cried—either out of relief that I came back or because she’d remembered that I had “abandoned” her. The second day was worse because she knew that I wasn’t going to stay. The third day was the worst drop-off by far—she started crying before we even left the house.

However, when I picked her up there were no tears; instead, she was the happiest I’d seen her at nursery thus far. I know she’s having fun, developing important social skills and learning how to adapt to new situations and I know that ultimately this is the right choice for our family, but change is difficult.

Most people find comfort in routine and stability. Occasionally falling out of our comfort zones is a natural part of life, which is why learning to adapt is an important skill set. In a rapidly changing country like Qatar, these adjustments can happen more frequently. Maybe you are looking for a new job (page 33) or stressing about welcoming a nanny into your home (page 39). It might be that your teen is preparing for their driver’s licence (page 45). It could also be something as simple as trying to revamp your kids’ lunches (page 24) this school year.

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Stress, of course, also affects our children. Some children struggle with nightmares (page 51) and some clash with new teachers (page 57). Whatever the challenge, we hope that this month’s articles help you address some of life’s common concerns.

Don’t forget to check out DohaFamily.com for these articles and more.

As always, if you have any story ideas, comments or experiences you’d like to share about family life in Doha, please email me at editor@dohamums.com.

Doha Family Guide Issue 14 – Autumn 2015 DohaFamily.com Roxanne Davis Publisher

Paulien Bay Christensen

Publishing and Sales Director

Rachel Henriquez Editor in Chief

Gemma Swan Art Director

Lucia Boll Fausto

Sales Representative

Rachel Henriquez Editor in Chief Doha Family Guide

Rachel with her daughter Kai Mei

For advertising or distribution inquiries, please contact Paulien Bay Christensen at ads@dohamums.com.

Editorial inquiries, suggestions and submissions may be addressed to editor@dohamums.com.

Doha Family Guide is a free guide published four times a year by Doha Mums. It is distributed to over 120 locations throughout Qatar with a circulation of over 20,000 copies.

Doha Family does not endorse or assume responsibility for any information, products or services mentioned by advertisers or editorial contributors. Reproduction of any element of this publication without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. Copyright 2015 by Doha Mums. Doha Family Guide is printed by Aspire Printing Press in Doha, Qatar.

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Inside This Guide

BOX

Automotive Volvo/Domasco

4424-6860

Baby Care & Products Bean’s Barcelona Bio-Oil Try Nice Things

5547-6159 62 4450-6245 8 5569-4136 62

Children’s Activities Al Gheed’s Ballet Center Doha Mums Children’s Library Enana Ballet Academy Evolution Sports Qatar Funk n’ Play International Centre for Music Laura Knight Academy of Dance Legacy Sports Academy Monkeynastix Ray’s Reef Razor Fitness Science Made Fun SmartIt SFQ Sports Academy The Gymnastics Academy

4413-1389 See ad 4444-1399 4407-6772 See ad 4467-1354 3346-9121 5582-1375 4486-6293 44131122 6623-3134 3399-6665 4451-7134 4486-6293 5582-9428

22 46 47 12 62 11 62 56 27 49 36 17 40 53 48

4422-4444

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4402-0639 5540-8142 5559-4228 6605-6189

Culture and Education Museum of Islamic Art Virginia Commonwealth University in Qatar Events, Catering & Party Services dBlossoms Easy Party’s Gateau the Cake Phenomenon

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Food & Beverages Carluccio’s Nando's

6690-1777 4444-2345

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Gifts Artifacts of Arabia Lilies Artisan Soaps Portraits by Louise Smallprint

5561-4573 5503-0167 4050-8532 6600-4306

54 62 62 62

Health & Medical ActiPatch The Feto Maternal Centre Q Air Global

4467-7801 4475-6369 4419-0210

43 38 44

Home Nada’s Interiors The Clean Team

5532-1240 4480-7458

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Nurseries & Kindergartens Bambinos Daycare Busy Bees Nursery Doha Mums Nursery Guide Grandma Nursery The Gulf English Nursery Kanga’s Pouch Nursery Little Academy Nursery Little Butterflies Nursery Tiny Town British Nursery TLC Nursery

4444-1020 28 4447-2319 34 See ad 19 4488-4008 52 4457-8777 2 7788-6171 37 4411-0027 5 4412-5187 19 4483-4553 61 7069-8508 41

Pets Qatar Vet Center The Veterinary Surgery

4016-1366 4436-7187

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Photography Mariana Photography

6675-4219

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Recruitment Global Women Qatar Michael Page

3383-6906 4413-3500

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Retail Monoprix Virgin Megastore

4414-6642 4495-9060

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4019-8080 4407-6777 4032-9000 44578704 4433-8600

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Schools Doha British School Al Wakra Doha College GEMS American Academy Qatar The Gulf English School International School of London Pearling Season International School of Doha (PSISD) Qatar Finland International School Sherborne Qatar

4414-9838 3 4012-7888 31 4459-6400 60

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Tutorial Services Oxford Learning Study Plus

4491-0777 4442-4294

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Wellbeing Take Flight - Life Coach Yama Yoga Your Mind Your Power

See ad 62 6617-5802 5 5541-6235 62

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“From very early in my pregnancy (about 5 weeks) I started using Bio-Oil twice a day. I loved the way it made my skin feel. Emily is 5 months old already and I’m still using it! As for stretch marks I’m happy to report that I didn’t see a single one. Bio-Oil was amazing! I was the first of my friends to fall pregnant, so now I’m telling them all about it.”

The product most recommended by doctors for pregnancy stretch marks. [full details at bio-oil.com]

Abby with Emily

Bio-Oil® helps reduce the possibility of pregnancy stretch marks forming by increasing the skin’s elasticity. It should be applied twice daily from the start of the second trimester. For comprehensive product information, and details of clinical trials, please visit bio-oil.com. Bio-Oil is available at pharmacies and selected retailers at the recommended selling price of QR 45 (60ml). Individual results will vary.

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Things to Do

Indoor P lay Areas

JUNGLE ZONE AT

HYATT PLAZA Mall

By Rachel Henriquez

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tepping into Jungle Zone Park is like being whisked away on a jet plane, deep into a jungle filled with roller coasters, amusement park rides, video games, carnival games and silly jungle animals. Ok, so you may not actually leave Doha, but the first time you visit the colourful world of Jungle Zone you’ll surely feel the excitement of stepping into a carnival.

a plethora of amusement park rides—rides that will whirl, twirl, swing, splash and fly you. There are also bumper cars, a racetrack and bumper boats. Don’t miss out on the 7D Dark Ride, a multisensory game/ ride, or Splash Falls, Jungle Zone’s indoor water ride.

Winners of carnival games like skeeball, basketball hoops and water canons earn tickets that can be exchanged for prizes.

On the ground floor, sandwiched between the video arcade and the carnival games section, you will find

The mezzanine is split into two areas: the Jungle Jet and the Nest. The Jungle Jet area houses a trampoline

Doha Family Guide

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Things to Do section (at the time of writing, there was only one trampoline enclosure with promises of more on the way); a small game section; a large seating area with tables and chairs; and the entrance to the Air Trek, a series of suspended ropes that you can walk or swing across high above the ground floor rides before riding a zip line to the finish—don’t worry though, a helmet and safety harness are required before traversing any tightropes.

The Nest Area is tailored to younger visitors and boasts age and size-appropriate rides and games.

There is also a small soft play area for the littlest visitors and the Eggplant Garden, a soft ball-shooting arena. For those in need of a little quiet time, there is the Nest Art area where kids can take a break and draw, colour or make a paper model of an airport or football stadium.

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Safety is paramount to Jungle Zone staff. Rides are inspected and maintained daily, monthly, quarterly and yearly with different degrees of inspection. Sprinklers and smoke alarms are found throughout the park and there are multiple emergency exits including at least one in each party room.

Keep an eye on the space where the rollercoaster, the Funcano Coaster, is currently located—Jungle Zone has plans to remove the 10-year-old attraction and install a massive climbing structure in its place. There are also plans to renovate the baby soft play in the Nest Area.

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Indoor P lay Areas

Basic Information • Location: Next to the food court in Hyatt Plaza • Hours: 12:00 to 22:00 Sunday to Wednesday, 13:00 to 23:00 Thursday and Friday, 10:00 to 22:00 Saturday, 9:00 to 12:00 on weekdays during scheduled school visits • Entrance fee: Free as long as you have a minimum of QR 30 credits on your game card • Seating: There is ample seating around the park: benches all around the ground floor and tables and chairs, complete with high chairs, in the Jungle Jet and Nest Areas on the mezzanine floor.

• Toilet: There are toilets on the mezzanine floor, just below the Jungle Jet Area.

Just across from the toilets, there is also a baby changing and nursing room with an armchair and enough room to wheel in a pram.

• Wheelchair accessible: Yes. There are ramps throughout the park as well as two elevators to reach the Jungle Jet and Nest Areas.

•S ecurity guards: yes • Fence/Walls: The park is walled off on three sides with one main entrance and exit.

• Nearby mosque: There are prayer rooms in the bathrooms in the Nestival area on the ground floor.

Prayer rooms for men and women can also be found throughout the mall.

• Food and beverages: There is a concession stand on the ground floor that sells snacks like crisps and popcorn. Outside food and drink are allowed.

• Wi-Fi: Yes. Log into ‘Jungle Zone free Wi-Fi’.

Learn, Develop and Achieve with our Exceptional Teaching Team Piano, Guitar, Violin, Vocal, Ballet, Art Family Friendly with a Focus on Fun since 2000 Professional tuition for all ages up to diploma level Tel + 974 4467 1354 - 50299151 P.O.Box 6226 info@icmqatar.com - www.icmqatar.com Doha Family Guide

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Things to Do

Doha Mums Tips

• Jungle Zone has three party rooms available for rent. They are in the process of updating their rental rates but for now packages vary from QR 1,950 to QR 4,400 depending on room size and day of the week.

• On Sundays and Tuesdays, the park offers Taekwondo classes for children aged three to eleven years old.

• Visit DohaMums.com for information regarding entry and birthday party discounts and special offers available via the Deals Card.

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Indoor P lay Areas • You can purchase a game card with credits (plus bonuses) to pay for the rides and games. Your game card will also hold the value of your winning tickets, which you can use to redeem prizes.

• The minimum height requirement is 95 to 105 cm for most rides on the ground floor. However, the Nest Area rides accommodate smaller children and toddlers if a parent or guardian accompanies them.

"Safety is paramount to Jungle Zone staff"

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• Playgroups • Holiday Parties • Tours around Doha • Mums Night Out • New Arrivals Coffee • Children's Library • Mums Only Coffee • Expectant Mums Events • Deals Card • Borrow!

• Ask! • Members-Only Forum • 1,500 members and 100 nationalities

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Family Matters

Double Speak: Encouraging Multilingualism in Your Child

by Andrew Madigan

The population of Qatar is comprised of people from over 100 countries who speak at least that many languages and dialects. Maybe you come from Germany and your husband is Venezuelan. You’ve lived in South Korea, Turkey and Singapore. Now you live in Qatar. Your kids go to an international school. The language of instruction is English, but they also study Arabic and French. Your nanny, from Sri Lanka, sings Tamil lullabies to your children.

"Ho la!"

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Language This isn’t so unusual. Not here; not today. Your kids are exposed to a swarm of languages, and you’re happy about this. You know the benefits.

Multilingualism is good for the mind. It fosters cognitive growth and flexibility. It helps us solve complex problems, it sharpens our analytical skills and it prepares us for a wider array of jobs. Multilingualism makes travelling easier and allows us to communicate with more people. It means we can read that new Swedish thriller a year before the translation comes out.

Fine, we know multilingualism is good for you, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult. Au contraire! Here are ten tips to make the job a little easier.

"B Doha Family Guide

" ! r no jou

1. Involve the family The easiest way to learn a language is at home. We all do it, from the day we’re born, and our linguistic ability develops quickly and naturally. No tests, quizzes or homework. This is equally true if you’re brought up with two or more languages or if you’re learning a second language in addition to your mother tongue. If studying a language is central to family life, the learning curve will be steep and steady.

Get everyone involved. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins—the whole extended family. Language development is greatly influenced by family and community. A wider range of speakers modelling the language will lead to a more varied and sophisticated vocabulary. Grammar, syntax and style will seep into your child’s mind more readily with a broader and more diverse experience of the language.

Consider Tui Hodgson. His mother is Malaysian and his father is from New Zealand. He loves to play football with his Malaysian uncle Ishak Khan, but he only sees him once a year. Khan doesn’t speak English very well, and Hodgson doesn’t know Malay.

However, when Khan visited for the winter, he played soccer with the boy every day. Hodgson’s Malay improved quickly. Afterwards, they kept in touch by email, Skype and writing letters (ask your greatgrandparents what ‘letters’ are).

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Family Matters

2. Make it fun We accomplish the most when we’re fully committed to a task. This is most likely to happen when we enjoy an activity and see it is as having a clear purpose.

Explain to your kids why you want them to be multilingual, how it will benefit them and exactly what the plan is. If you make the job fun, they’re even more likely to become fully engaged. Join playgroups and attend social events in the target language. If you’re learning Arabic, make friends with Arabic speakers and encourage your kids to do the same. If you’re studying Portuguese, attend a sporting event or listen to music in Portuguese. Focus on your children’s interests and ask them for input.

According to Steve Barnet, this made all the difference.

His wife Valeria is from Argentina and his son Ian is a huge fan of Messi, the Argentinian footballer. Ian would rather be kicking the ball around than studying,

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but once he realised how many Spanish-language websites, magazines and TV programmes were devoted to his idol, he started hitting the books.

3. Be consistent Making sure your kids become, and stay, proficient in two or more languages will almost certainly mean many hours of hard work. Structure and routine are necessary. True, it should be light and fun whenever possible, but there’s no way around it—you’ll have to roll up your sleeves and impose order. This is especially true if your child is studying a language that neither parent speaks fluently.

Take Rossana Soto from Peru and Lars Baek from Denmark. Her mother tongue is Spanish, but she also speaks English and Danish. His mother tongue is Danish, but he knows English and Spanish as well.

DohaFamily.com

Language Baek and Soto have three children enrolled at ACS International School in Doha. The boys, Frederik (10) and Christian (12), speak all three languages with varying degrees of fluency and study French at school.

Their daughter Sofia, the youngest (5), speaks English very well.

She understands Spanish and Danish, but doesn’t speak much of either one.

This sounds like a complex logic puzzle and in many respects it is. The Baeks have to grapple with the fact that they have three children of different ages, levels of education and language abilities, each of whom has particular strengths, weaknesses and preferences.

Doha Family Guide

One particular obstacle is that they’ve lived in England, Denmark, Peru and Qatar. Each time they move, the children’s linguistic development is disrupted because of the change in context. Sofia stopped speaking Spanish when they moved to Qatar, and Christian had similar issues when they moved from Denmark to England.

Rossana is committed to having her children speak both mother tongues in addition to other languages, but admits that it can be frustrating and quite demanding. The Baeks plan to enrol their children in an online Danish programme, danes.dk, to supplement what they learn at home and school.

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Family Matters

4.Be patient Let’s face it, languages are notoriously difficult to master. If you want multilingual children, patience is mandatory. Your kids will struggle at times, no matter how smart they are, no matter how hard they work, no matter how energetically you guide them. If they sense your frustration or disappointment, they’re more likely to lose confidence and interest. Do push them and pursue excellence, but don’t be too aggressive or set unrealistic goals. If your son is weak in Urdu today, perhaps by next year he’ll catch up. Not everyone will progress at the same pace. The worst thing you can do is make them dread or fear the process of learning.

Take an active role in teaching your child, but don’t correct every mistake. We learn language primarily by modeling what we hear. To a large extent kids will self-correct as they’re exposed to the language.

"Take an active role in teaching your child, but don’t correct every mistake" Patience extends to family members too. Don’t let them pressure you or your children if at three years old, your child isn’t reciting poetry in your mother tongue. Your child may know more than you realise but it might take them awhile to openly share their language skills.

Despite the difficulties, multilingualism is far from impossible. According to Chris Charleson, Head of School at International School of London-Qatar, “Children learning two or more languages go through the same developmental stages as children learning one language... While bilingual children may start talking slightly later than monolingual children, they still begin to speak within the normal range.”

That’s good news. Professor Fred Genesee of McGill University agrees. He says that bilingual children will progress just as quickly as monolinguals if they “divide their learning time equally between their two languages.” So, a child can learn multiple languages just as quickly as she can learn one —if she uses them equally.

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Language

5. Don’t get discouraged Be prepared for the fact that you can’t prepare for everything. Problems will sneak up on you. Marta Sayed was having trouble with her son Ali. He grew up speaking Arabic with his father, English with a variety of people, and Hindi and Malayalam with his nanny.

When Ali was four, Sayed—from Hungary—wanted him to learn Magyar, her native language. He picked up the language quickly, but after a few months started throwing tantrums. Ali was afraid that, to learn Magyar, he would have to give up one of his other languages. She assured him this wasn’t the case, comforted him and kept speaking to him in her native language. For a few weeks he would only respond in English or Arabic, but eventually he started speaking Magyar. Sayed realises that she waited too long to begin teaching Ali, but also knows that she did the right thing by not giving up.

The earlier you begin a language, the easier it is and the more likely you are to gain fluency. Start from day one. Or even earlier. Some mothers speak to their almost-borns in each of the target languages.

Get organised from the outset. When your kids are old enough to be begin formal instruction—school, private lessons, language school—stick to the programme, don’t vary it too often or without notice.

This will make them feel more secure and comfortable.

You’re asking a lot of your child, so demand even more of yourself.

7. Répétez s’il vous plaît!

According to Marc Chrisman—an ESL instructor with 20 years experience in the Middle East, Far East and Russia—the three most important factors in language learning are repetition, repetition and repetition.

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6. Start right away

More than 50 of the most popular Doha nurseries.

We have already taken the tours!

You have questions?

We have answers!

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Family Matters Nothing sinks in the first time. When we’re exposed to new things, our minds need time to process and organise the information. Language is part of this.

Your kids may not get it right away, but over time and with repetition they will be able to access and use the relevant information, so don’t get discouraged.

Another issue is context. Our minds don’t always respond to the same stimuli in the same manner. Your daughter might study the passé composé in French class, but that doesn’t mean she understands it, at least not initially. Verb tenses can be tricky, for anyone.

If you repeat the information at home—perhaps using a different tone or style, with different examples or at a different time of day—your daughter might get it.

Maybe hanging out with French friends will do the trick. A teaching method or exercise that works well for your son might not work for your daughter. Use as many resources as possible in order to immerse your child in the language. Consider joining a French club, going to a French restaurant, or reading a French magazine. Visit France or another francophone country. Language must be lived, not just studied. If you want your child to become truly multilingual, make language an ongoing, vital and compelling part of your life.

Language

8. Use the media They call it the ‘Idiot Box’, but watching TV doesn’t have to rot your brain. It’s important to approach a language from many different angles, to maximise the number and type of linguistic elements (words, styles, syntaxes, content areas, etc.) the learner will experience. TV is a natural polyglot. There are programmes in a wide variety of languages that cater to different interests and age groups.

Don’t limit yourself to TV. The internet, magazines, radio, even video games can be useful sources of language instruction—and your children might find them more attractive than books and tutors. You don’t want to build a curriculum around TV and video games, but they can be a great supplement. Consider the experience of Tom Greaves, an English professor who teaches native Arabic speakers. A few years ago Abby Mohammed was in his class, a bright, outgoing Syrian who spoke perfect English with an American accent. He asked if she’d grown-up in the U.S. or if one of her parents was American. “No,” she said, “I just watch a lot of soap operas.” Well, it may not be what the experts recommend, but it works. What’s remarkable about the Abbys of the world isn’t that they’ve mastered the structure or underlying theory of a language, but that they speak it like natives.

OFFER CLASSES TO CHILDREN? Advertise for FREE with a basic online listing Swimming • Arts & Crafts • Dance • Tennis • Cooking Music • Tutoring • Football • Science • Language • More!

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Have a Job Vacancy?

We Can Help!

Make a QR 500 cash donation to the Doha Mums Children’s Library we’ll post the job vacancy announcement to our private forum on your behalf.

100% of the proceeds are used to purchase books and supplies for the library, so everyone wins!

Coordinate with the library volunteers via email (librarydonation@dohamums.com) to arrange for a convenient time to drop off the donation.

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MU DO MS HA IN !

Make the donation.

Send the text of your vacancy announcement to info@dohamums.com.

DO NO C P PL UM DF AI E OR N NT TE S WO XT PL RD O EA NL SE Y! !

TERMS AND CONDITIONS Cash donations only – no cheques or bank transfers. As this is an informal arrangement please note that “official” receipts will not be supplied.

Announcement will be made on the forum one time only and will not be “bumped up”.

For more comprehensive advertising solutions please contact us at media@dohamums.com

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Family Matters

9. Maintain a balance The experts agree that, if you want to become multilingual, balance is crucial. This means reading, writing, speaking and listening in equal measure. It also means devoting the same number of hours to each language—even, or perhaps especially, if your child is fighting against a particular language. For example, if your daughter is a native German-speaker who’s having trouble with English, don’t allow her to use German as a crutch. Keep speaking to her in English. Pay attention to the specific needs of your child, but don’t pander to their weakness or pet peeves. Keep the work fun and light, when necessary, but never take an extended break from any particular language.

10. Dangle the carrot A little baksheesh goes a long way. Don’t be afraid to reward your child for hard work, dedication and results. Whether you call it ‘incentive’ or good old-fashioned ‘bribery’, it generally works quite well.

It’s encouraging and effective to set a goal, work toward it and know there’s something waiting for you at the end. Isn’t that what motivates you to go to work

A place where everyone can achieve quality and fun learning Training and classes for children from the age of 5, also for adults.

Language in the morning? Or do you expect nothing more than a pat on the back and a hearty round of applause?

Life in a multilingual home can be chaotic.

You might be learning one or more of the languages along with your children. The nanny might correct your Tagalog pronunciation. You might stumble over a phrase or mix up your languages. Your children undoubtedly will do the same. Dinnertime will be Babel of languages and cultures. But don’t worry.

Shrug off those tense and exasperating moments— you’ll get through them. Valeria Barnet was having an especially difficult week when, on a long car drive, her son Ian said, “I love being trilingual.” After years of hard work, this was incredibly gratifying to hear. Better yet was how Ian actually said it, “J’aime speaking tres lenguas.” This isn’t perfect English, Spanish or French, but it’s perfect multilingualism.

Andrew Madigan taught Creative Writing and English Literature for universities in the U.A.E., Japan, Korea and the U.S. He was also editor in chief of a magazine in Al Ain. He is now a freelance writer/editor. His first novel, Khawla's Wall, was published in 2014.

• Ballet • Ballroom Dance • Aerobics • Karate

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Lagoona Mall 1st Floor AlGheedBalletCenter www.algheed-qatar.com Tel: +974 44 131 389 Mobile: +974 66 105 857 22

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Healthy Living

Lunches Kids Love

by Kim Wyatt

It’s that time of the year again. It’s back to school!

H

ere at Doha Family we’ve been busy in the kitchen whipping up some lunch box recipes that are healthy and easy to prepare. Coming up with yummy meals that your children enjoy can be challenging at the best of times. Packing a healthy lunch box for your child needn’t be stressful.

So we’ve designed some tasty treats that are simple to make and delicious too.

It’s important to provide a balanced lunch that helps to maintain your child’s energy levels throughout the

busy school day. A healthy lunch helps to keep your child active and focused whilst supplying important nutrients for optimal growth and development.

Our recipes have been designed with childhood nutritional guidelines in mind. We’ve also included the five recommended food groups—dairy, protein, carbohydrates, fruit and vegetables. We’ve made the recipes completely nut-free and school-friendly.

As an added bonus, no refined sugar or salt has been added.

Photos by Kim Wyatt 24

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Recipes

IT'S B TO S ACK CHO OL!

Doha Family Guide

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Healthy Living

Chicken and smashed avocado salsa wrap with lemon mayo A great alternative to every day sandwiches. Fill with veggies such as grated carrot and sliced cucumber.

• ½ cup of cooked chicken • ½ cup avocado • 1 tbsp mayonnaise • 1 tsp lemon juice • ½ tomato • 2 small whole wheat wraps

Sunshine Smoothie A refreshing smoothie packed with vitamin C. For a tropical treat replace the laban with fresh, unsweetened coconut water.

Chop the chicken and set aside. Peel, deseed and chop the avocado. Lightly smash the avocado (whilst retaining the chunkiness) in a small bowl. Add the lemon juice and mix thoroughly. This will help to prevent the avocado from turning brown. Stir in the mayonnaise. Remove the seeds and pulp from the tomato and dice. Add the chicken and tomato to the mixture and mix lightly. Then place the mixture into the wraps, folding the sides inwards and roll the wraps until fully closed. Cover with cling film.

T K OU M C E CH Y.CO L I M H AFA UNC DOH L E MOR ES FOR ECIP R X BO

• ½ cup mango chopped • ½ cup pineapple chopped • 1 cup plain drinking laban • Water (optional) In a blender, add the fruit and process until smooth.

Add the laban and mix until well combined. If the smoothie is too thick, add small quantities of water until the desired consistency is achieved. Pour into a smoothie pouch or drinking bottle and store in the refrigerator until needed.

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Recipes For more lunch box ideas, we recommend the following:

or curries. For vegetarian options use beans, lentils, chick peas, egg and mayonnaise sandwiches or veggie quiches.

Fruits: Make delicious fruit compotes, smoothies or serve sliced fruit with cubes of cheese.

Carbohydrates: Choose whole-grain and high-fibre cereals such as breads, wraps, pita bread, pasta, noodles, rice and muffins. There are many other grain alternatives on the market to choose from such as spelt, buckwheat and millet. Try adding pumpkin and sunflower seeds to your baking for extra flavour and crunch.

Veggies: Add grated veggies to sandwiches and wraps or roasted veggies to dips and sauces.

Dairy: Use cheese sticks, fromage frais, yoghurts and cottage cheese dip. Choose low sugar options or yoghurts made with acidophilus or bifidus cultures. These help to aid healthy digestion and gut bacteria.

Proteins: Lean meats are ideal. Try home-made chicken nuggets, meatballs

Here are our top tips for a healthy and stress free lunch box • Make the freezer your friend. Prepare big batches of food, separate into containers and mark them with the ingredients and date of preparation. This will help you avoid unhealthy options. • Find inspiration on the Internet. There are some very informative websites that contain healthy lunch box

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Healthy Living recipes using nutritional guidelines. We recommend the website for the U.S.-based Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics (eatright.org), which has a dedicated section for children’s nutrition and recipes.

• Choose seasonal and locally grown fruit and vegetables when available.

• Offer a variety of food during the week to supply a wide range of nutrients and to keep boredom at bay.

• Add pieces of whole fruit such as apple, banana or pear for good lunch box fillers.

• To help fussy eaters, add cooked and puréed veggies into dips (hopefully the kids won’t notice).

• If sandwiches are a staple in your child’s lunch box, use different types of wraps, breads, rolls and tortillas.

Try buns topped with seeds, oat or buckwheat wraps and olive bread. These are all available in supermarkets such as Carrefour and Geant.

• Reinforce positive eating habits by discussing healthy food options with your child.

• Encourage your child to prepare the lunch box with you.

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Recipes • Remember to keep lunch box food simple, healthy and bright.

• Water is always the best source for hydration.

• Keep sugary or high fat foods to a minimum.

• Check ingredients and labels on packaging for hidden additives, flavourings and sugar.

• Insulated lunch bags, smoothie pouches and bento boxes are fun, functional options for packing school lunches. Check with Virgin, Lakeland and Amazon.com for a plethora of choices.

• Have fun in the kitchen and remember to keep it simple.

Kim Wyatt is the food contributor to Ahlan! Qatar Magazine and is passionate about healthy and delicious food for all the family.

Follow her on Instagram: Mama_Baba_Ganoush or Facebook: Mama Baba Ganoush.

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Children write down or draw pictures of whatever makes them anxious or keeps them up at night, place the paper into the “worry eater’s” mouth, zip it up and, with the help of a parent, the Sorgenfresser “eats up” the child’s worries. sorgenfresser.com Available from Amazon.co.uk

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Doha Family Guide

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Life in Doha

Personal Development

FINDING A JOB IN QATAR

by Stephanie Hunter

L

ooking for a job in Qatar can seem like a daunting prospect as you scan the classifieds in the Gulf Times or The Peninsula. However there are local-hire jobs out there that pay well and offer interesting and fulfilling careers along with possibilities of advancement. To find them is sometimes a matter of adjusting your approach to fit your environment.

In each of the four countries where her husband’s job has taken them, Faye Ewbank has always been able to find work when she’s put her mind to it. Within two months of moving to Qatar, she had received four job offers all on the same day. “I went for at least ten interviews with all sorts of companies and in all sorts of locations, but I made it my job to get a job,” she says.

Her husband, Ben Ewbank, director of Michael Page Middle East recruitment agency, says persistence is key. “Identify your target audience, understand your potential employers inside out. Do as much research Doha Family Guide

as possible to help identify the ethos of the organisation and the skills, personality and knowledge they value highly, then tailor your application accordingly and always follow up with a phone call. Be persistent if you can’t get through first time,” he says.

What are the most efficient ways to job-hunt?

Make acquaintances According to recruitment agencies and employers, nothing beats personal contact. Elsbeth Blekkenhorst, founder and managing director of Global Women Qatar, a recruitment agency for women, notes, “It’s all about who you know in Doha.” Networking and a no-nonsense approach are critical.

Blekkenhorst recommends, “Just go up to people and say, ‘I’m looking for a job, can you help?’ Tell your friends you are looking for work.” Set up a concise CV with all your measurables (e.g. how much you increased revenue, customer numbers, 33

Life in Doha employee satisfaction) along with a sound LinkedIn profile and set out to talk to people.

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Attend networking events Fortunately, there are plenty of opportunities for enterprising jobseekers.

Conversations in the school playground can generate leads, as can chats at social events or joining the plethora of expat- or activitybased groups here. For more structured networking, there are regular events such as those hosted by the various business councils, chambers of commerce or business groups such as the American Chamber of Commerce or the British Business Forum. For women, there is an annual How Women Work conference, the bi-annual How Women Find Work event (both at hwwqatar.com) and the Qatar Professional Women’s Network gatherings.

Carolin Zeitler, CEO and founder of How Women Work, says, “In Doha it’s all about face-to-face and a lot of the best job opportunities are never actually published anywhere so you often only hear about them through networking.”

So at these networking events, what can you do to maximise your chances of meeting the right people?

“Research the people who are going to be there,”

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Zeitler advises. “Listen a lot to what people have to say and ask them questions. Show some interest in them as people. Then when you have a connection, mention you are looking for work.”

Hire an agency Another angle is to approach large national or multinational organisations directly if they are inviting applications through their websites. Samantha Robinson, general manager of InterSearch Middle East, says, “There are a lot of companies who are building up their talent-acquisition teams locally…

It is an advantage if you are on the ground, available for interview and committed to Qatar to introduce yourself directly to organisations.”

At the same time, it can be helpful to find a reliable recruitment agency. Tales of unscrupulous recruitment agents charging unsuspecting jobseekers for their services seem to be on the decline; however, choose your agency carefully and check what they specialise in. The key criteria in defining a good agency is whether they take the time to meet you in person or at least have a proper phone conversation with you to understand who you are and what you are looking for.

An agency can be the best way of finding a role outside the large organisations. The job

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Personal Development market is not very transparent in Qatar and you may need an agent to find a role at a small or mediumsized enterprise (SME). In fact, in a market when many companies in the oil and gas and other sectors are cutting staff and freezing further hiring, SMEs in all fields are on the rise and can provide decent job opportunities. Construction is also buoyant in Qatar but is often contract-based, so the end or loss of the contract can mean the end of your role.

To suit your requirements, you might need to check with agencies that cover the entire region. Other agencies and headhunters in the U.K. or U.S. will handle senior managerial roles. Be wary of recruitment agencies that use search engine optimisation techniques to make them Google top hits. Ask those you know in employment who they use.

Ben Ewbank warns of hastily submitted CVs. He says some common mistakes are “sending general lengthy applications to specific positions without having addressed the key requirements specified or having a CV or bio that is poorly written with spelling mistakes that reflects badly on the applicant.”

Robinson gives her advice about the interview process. “Focus on demonstrating your top strengths.

Keep the package discussion open at the start so it allows you to discuss the role further and then negotiate right at the end of the interview process.

Above all she suggests, “Whatever you do, make sure your introduction to the company or recruitment agency is personalised not generic!”

What are some of the most common mistakes when looking for a job?

Blekkenhorst describes how some people overdose on their CV distribution in a scattergun approach to jobhunting. “The risk is that then you end up adding your CV to a huge pile, and then we can’t help shuffle you to the top. I will usually only give a client three to five CVs.” If you want to send your CV in response to a job ad or on the off-chance you strike lucky, make sure you target companies that best fit your experience and that you send [your CV] to a legitimate HR contact.

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Please send a full C.V to benewbank@michaelpage.qa quoting reference “Doha Mums”.

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Doha Family Guide

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Life in Doha Zeitler cautions against relying too heavily on more traditional routes such as responding solely to job applications. Of course, try the official route first, she suggests, however, “Always try to get a referral—someone who has a connection with the company to submit your CV for you.”

Should I go for a job that pays less or seems like a step down?

Don’t jump at the first job offer you are given, as once you stick your head above the parapet, other contacts often come your way. Do bear in mind that what seems like a lower salary on paper can actually be a decent income when you consider the whole package.

Often employers will include a transport allowance and an accommodation allowance (although this may depend on your spouse’s current package). And don’t forget you’re not paying tax unless you’re liable in your home country.

However, the days of very high salaries are gone as companies are restructuring to become more costeffective. This change brings Qatar more into line with Europe and North America. As Blekkenhorst comments, “You can’t earn QR 30,000 a month being a receptionist.”

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Also, a heavy reality check has to take place regarding your job expectations. Blekkenhorst gets a lot of women who want to work school hours only. She says, “I get requests from women who want to work 8am to 1pm for QR 15,000 a month, which is not possible.”

Similarly, your new job may not be as flexible to drop-of-the-hat holidays that you may be accustomed to before a job. You will also want to consider the emotional preparation of using a driver for school runs or having to leave your children with a nanny.

In some ways, the shift in salaries and attitude can work in your favour. It used to be viewed negatively to be under your spouse’s sponsorship as if your spouse left you were likely to follow. Nowadays the trend seems to be that people don’t DohaFamily.com

Personal Development view living in Qatar as something they will do only for a couple of years, but they are increasingly thinking longer term. With that shift comes a greater likelihood that your potential employer will think of you as a long-term employee.

Even if it may not be the flying start you had hoped for, “People can progress their career a lot faster in the Middle East,” Robinson says. “I have seen cases where people have progressed their career rapidly because they have the right flexibility, motivations and attitude.”

Above all, persevere. “It always takes a lot longer from the start of the search to the start of the job than most people realise, especially here in Qatar, therefore the sooner one is able to get the search under way and the ball rolling, the sooner the process begins.” Ben Ewbank suggests.

And don’t forget to be flexible, Faye Ewbank says.

“Remember that working in this region is not like working at home, different hours, different roles, different cultures and expectations.”

Stephanie Hunter has lived in Qatar for seven years having moved to Doha from the U.K. with her husband and three children. She worked for many years as a book editor for academic and commercial publishing houses and then moved into researching and writing conference programmes.

Doha Family Guide

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Family Matters

Relationships

d i a M a g n i on Transiti e om H r ou Y o t in

by Michelle Arscott

M

y friends at home think life here in Qatar is something out of ‘Downton Abbey’, especially when you get onto the topic of having a maid. The reality is that many expats are not fortunate enough to have extended family live nearby to support them with raising

Doha Family Guide

their families so having a nanny or maid can become a great asset. But if you’ve never employed a nanny or maid before, you may have some questions about bringing a maid or nanny into your home. Here are some tips for successfully transitioning a new maid into your home.

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Family Matters

Before your maid starts, have a serious think about how having a maid is going to work for you. Will she be responsible for childcare? Housekeeping? Both?

She may not know how to operate a dishwasher, washing machine or vacuum and may need several walk-throughs, particularly if there is a language barrier. Being patient and forthright with your expectations will go a long way.

Decide on your rules and expectations before she starts and clearly state them at the beginning of the relationship. Some items may need to be included in the contract.

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If she will be living with your family, make sure your maid’s room is ready and that it is comfortable. Most maid’s quarters are small in size, but as this is going to be her home or at least her private space, do what you can to make it restful. Consider what would make you comfortable if it were your room. Besides a bed and dresser, she may also appreciate a small fridge, a cooker, a water dispenser, window coverings, Wi-Fi access and a TV—items that enable her to be independent, eat, drink and have access to basic entertainment and communication.

It’s no secret that employees are more productive if they are happy and contented!

Set expectations

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Provide personal space

Relationships

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Family Matters Here are some key questions to consider: • How will you communicate with each other on a daily basis? Will you provide her with a phone and monthly top up cards so that she is always reachable?

• Are there times in the day where she needs to be extra quiet?

• How many breaks will she have during the day? Will there be an extended mid-day break if you need her to work in the evenings?

• Will there be rules for mobile phone usage whilst she is working?

• How will you handle loan or salary advance requests?

• How many sick days will she be allowed per month?

Do you have any expectations for what constitutes a “sick” day, i.e. every time she menstruates?

Doha Family Guide

Relationships •W hen and where will she eat? Will she eat the same meals as you or will you provide a food allowance?

•H ow will she enter and exit the house on her day off? Will she have her own set of house keys? Will she have a curfew?

•W ill you purchase basic toiletries, e.g. soap, shampoo, conditioner and feminine hygiene products for her?

•D o you have any pet peeves about cleaning that you want her to know beforehand, such as using one sponge for dishes and another for countertops?

•D o the children have any rules that she needs to be aware of, e.g. no T.V. before homework, no sweets after school?

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Family Matters Prepare a schedule A schedule is an excellent way of helping you to clearly think about the maid’s role in your home. It is also a great focal point for your first conversation, when she arrives and clearly documents your expectations for future reference. See our sample schedule on DohaFamily.com.

Communicate, communicate, communicate Communication is the heart of any relationship.

Remember when speaking to your maid to be clear with your language and not use too many words if she is not fluent in English or Arabic. If language is a barrier, it might be worth finding someone to translate the schedule for your maid at the beginning. Also, when explaining things you may need to physically demonstrate what you want her to do, if appropriate.

Be aware of cultural differences Your maid will most likely come from a very different culture to your own. According to cultural expert and

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Relationships CEO of Oxford Strategic Consulting Qatar David Burton, in the initial transition period when your maid is settling into new routines, you both can go through culture shock-like symptoms, as your maid may misinterpret your explanations because of her cultural background. Burton goes on to further explain some potential differences. With respect to time, for example, some cultures are based “in the now” while others are more future-focused. This can cause potential issues with schedules and time keeping.

Additionally, some cultures communicate differently.

For example, when a person says “Yes,” after you have explained something, it can mean, “Yes, I heard you,” to some while in another culture it could mean, “Yes, I understand.”

Be patient. It will take time for you and your maid to adjust. Remember your maid may come from a country that is literally, and figuratively, a thousand miles away or more from Qatar. Be respectful yet firm, fair and consistent and stick to your boundaries and you’ll set the stage for a positive relationship with your new maid.

Michelle Arscott left London seven years ago for the dazzling lights of Doha. She is a freelance teacher trainer and a life and executive coach. Additionally she was the parental columnist for the Gulf Times newspaper. However, her most important role to date has been her most rewarding—being a mother to her little boy.

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Family Matters

S N E E T

E TH

BY SA RI ZA A M DON N ME

G N I K TA

Driving

L E E H W F

or teens, driving affords a freedom akin to a bird learning to fly. But for parents, however welcome it may be to give up their parental-chauffeur responsibility, a newly licenced teen can be its own source of anxiety—even more so in Qatar, with its reputation for reckless drivers and erratic traffic patterns.

“I was nervous and afraid on my first day because the instructor made me drive,” recalls Amani Siam. “From what I heard, normally the instructor drove on the first day, not the student.” Adding to her apprehension, the lessons took place at night, but luckily her first experiences navigating roundabouts were inside the driving school. It was nearly a week before she was deemed confident and competent enough to practise her newly acquired skills on Qatar’s roads.

Doha Family Guide

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Family Matters Rachel Awad’s son Karim passed his test on the first try. “He was really keen and took his lessons very seriously. Once he was enrolled, he simply took it from there,” she says. And indeed Awad has every reason to be proud of her son—in Qatar, where the success rate of passing on the first attempt is said to be low, a teen passing on his first try is an added bonus.

navigate the driving course. Karim Awad, who took the test earlier this year, was required to successfully complete both—the theory as well as practical component.

A changing landscape

And the curriculum is set to change again, according to reports from The Peninsula. Concerned with the ever-worrying traffic accident statistics, the Traffic Department recently held a workshop for driving school representatives on the role of effective training in reducing accidents. The General Directorate of

Currently in Qatar, one must be 18 years old to be able to enrol in a driving school, although according to the Qatar e-government Hukoomi, special permission can be granted for learners as young as 17 years old.

Teens who want to learn to drive must register with a driving school, must have completed at least 15 hours of theoretical classes and must have taken at least 35 hours of driving lessons before attempting the test.

When Siam took her test three years ago there was no such provision for learning the theory of driving. One was simply required to identify signals and successfully

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Driving Traffic is said to be releasing a new unified curriculum, which is expected to address the drawbacks of the existing system. At the time of writing this article, it is unclear as to the specifics of the changes or the timing of the implementation.

A difference of opinion

Despite the anticipated changes, the question of permitting one’s teen to drive in Qatar draws a myriad of reactions. There are a number of voices on either side of the fence, each with their own compelling reasons.

Doha Family Guide

For some young people, like Siam, there is only one course of action. While Palestine is her homeland, her family realised that there was no turning back when they migrated here. She was born in Qatar and the country is her home. Having no one available to transport her to her university classes and back, getting a driving licence and a vehicle was a necessity.

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Family Matters For others, like Karim Awad, it is a question of independence. As his mum puts it, “They have to learn at some time and it is unfair to expect teenagers here to conform to someone else’s schedule in order to do the things they want to or go where they wish. If we were back in the States, Karim would easily be able to take the public transport or would even have learned to drive. These [public transport] options are simply not available to teenagers here.” “Besides,” she says with a smile, “if he can drive here, he can drive anywhere else.”

While other parents have echoed Rachel Awad’s sentiment, there are parents that have a different viewpoint. “No way!” and “Don’t you want your child to live?” were among the responses on a local Facebook group to the question about whether they would allow their teen to drive in Qatar.

Many of those parents cited alarming accident statistics and a dangerous driving culture as reasons for making them leery.

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Others, like Nasrin Satvilkar, are concerned about their child picking up bad habits at the outset. “In the U.K. there are very stringent criteria they have to meet. The training reflects that,” she says. “Over here, the instruction does not necessarily adhere to the same standard.” After speaking to parents whose teenagers have learned to drive here, her concerns remain. Many feel that the driving instruction is not as robust and oftentimes the students take the test prior to completing their required supervised driving hours.

Satvilkar has a fair point. After 12 supervised driving hours, Siam was deemed competent enough to take her driving test. Karim Awad also took his driving test early. Meanwhile in the U.K., learners are given a minimum of eight months to practise before they sit for their road test. In Australia, new drivers must log 100 hours of supervised driving before attempting to DohaFamily.com

Driving get a licence and in New Zealand, there are tiers of driving competence to be met with a minimum of six months practice between each tier in order to procure one’s licence.

Costly fees (up to QR 3,350 for a full course) for driving courses are another reason that parents cite for shying away from the prospect of having their teens learn to drive in Qatar.

And some parents do have a viable alternative to the local driving courses. Sarah Cameron plans to start processing her son’s licence when they go to New Zealand for the summer so that when he comes of age, he will be legal to drive over there. Once he has some experience under his belt, she and her husband plan to give the young man the option of driving here. Satvilkar’s reasoning is the same. Her son will eventually need to acquire a U.K. licence anyway and so once he has developed good driving habits in the U.K, she expects that it will ease his transition to driving on Qatar roads.

Ultimately, the decision to give one’s teen the option to learn driving here boils down to a matter of individual experiences, outlook, beliefs and preferences. If you plan to let your teen learn here, Siam has some parting advice, “We don’t learn everything in school,” she says, “so at least for six months a teen shouldn’t drive alone without an adult.

I started driving alone since the day after I got my licence and ended up in a minor accident. My advice is to let him get his licence but keep going out with him till you feel he is ready to drive on his own.”

Marisa Mendonza is a freelance writer, editor, blogger, marketing and communications specialist. She has provided professional services to a variety of firms based in the U.K., India and New Zealand. Apart from writing, Marisa enjoys time with her family, art, craft, music and learning new things.

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Family Matters

Health

Chasing Away the Nightmares

by Rachel Henriquez

“One more story, Daddy.”

“One more song, Mummy?” “ No, no, just a few more minutes, please!” “ I don’t want to go to bed.”

Does this bedtime tango sound familiar?

Sometimes children try to delay bedtime because they’re having too much fun playing or just don’t want to go to sleep yet, but what if your child stalls bedtime because he’s afraid of having a nightmare?

Bogeymen and things that go ‘bump'

Nightmares are very common. Up to 75 per cent of children recall experiencing nightmares at some point Doha Family Guide

in their lives. Dionne Joseph, a chartered clinical psychologist (U.K.) based in Doha, suspects that the increased stress and anxiety common with expats may account for higher rates of nightmares and bad dreams among children in Qatar. However, she notes, currently there are no Qatar-specific studies on childhood sleep disturbances such as nightmares.

Not to be mistaken with night terrors, which are quite rare, occur early in the night and are difficult to soothe, nightmares occur late in sleep, during the REM stage when we are most close to waking. This is why children often remember their dreams and nightmares.

Although researchers are still unsure of the reason behind why nightmares occur, the consensus is that they are a normal and a beneficial element of neurodevelopment.

They are believed to be a coping mechanism for the 51

Family Matters

Health

stressful things children experience while awake— seeing something scary, starting a new school or moving to another country. In this case, it’s important to focus on what is causing the nightmare, not the nightmare itself. Nightmares also coincide with fevers and illness so it’s always a good idea to rule out health issues.

Nightmares can be symptomatic of an underlying anxiety problem, but looking at other aspects of your child’s life can easily help identify this. Are they having trouble with school, friendships, eating, going to the toilet? Do they complain that nobody likes them or that they don’t like themselves? If so, it’s best to seek professional help as soon as possible. You should also seek help if you suspect your child is suffering from night terrors.

Calming their fears

When your child wakes from a nightmare, don’t pressure them to describe or recall the dream as this can often reinforce the memory and make it more vivid. Be wary of activities like checking under the bed for monsters or using “monster sprays.” These can backfire as they reinforce the idea that monsters or other scary creatures exist.

Also, it’s ok to stay with your child until they calm down but try to refrain from sleeping in their room or letting them sleep in your bed after a nightmare or you risk encouraging a long-term sleep dependency issue.

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Instead, Joseph recommends to try to redirect your child’s thoughts: take them to the bathroom to wipe their face, discuss the fun things they have planned for later in the week, try deep breathing exercises with them and stay with them until they calm down.

Over time, children can develop their own techniques whether it’s listening to music, reading a book or another low-intensity distraction (not TV!).

The National Sleep Foundation in the U.S. agrees: teaching your child coping skills will give him or her the confidence to overcome fears and concerns when you are unavailable (e.g., sleepovers). They say that the key to helping your child is to be soothing and responsive.

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Family Matters When your child fears sleep

Most of the time nightmares will resolve without intervention. If your child begins to fear sleep, you may need to help them work through this fear.

However, it’s important to not pathologise the occasional nightmare, Joseph counsels. “The key thing for parents to do, particularly with younger children is to provide reassurance without encouraging (or in psychology-speak, ‘re-enforcing’) the nightmare or behaviours that surround it,” she says.

Coping strategies

• Provide a security item—blanket, stuffed animal, etc.

• Leave a night light on in your child’s bedroom.

• Have your child imagine a happy ending to their nightmare, perhaps one where they overcome the fear on their own.

• Hang a dreamcatcher over your child’s bed to “catch” the bad dreams.

• Avoid intense or scary movies, TV or stories close to bedtime.

• Practice deep breathing and calming techniques— inhale for three seconds, pause for two seconds, exhale for three seconds.

• Encourage good sleeping habits—regular bedtimes and ample sleep.

Although some sleep experts suggest activities such as having your child draw and then tear up pictures of their nightmares or building dream catchers, Joseph

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Health cautions against placing too much emphasis on the nightmares with these short-term methods. She says, “The parent is inadvertently ‘teaching’ the child to become more anxious, partly by drawing attention to the nightmare and partly by not teaching the child more adaptive internal strategies of dealing with their fears.” These techniques could backfire by transferring the underlying anxiety onto something else in the child’s life.

That said, when her son was a baby, she says that he suffered from terrible nightmares.

“I got a sleep catcher from an Indian reservation in Canada, put it over his cot and he never had another nightmare again. Go figure!”

Whichever solution works for your child, it is important to remember that nightmares are a normal part of development. The next time your child wakes in the middle of the night, fearful from a nightmare, be patient, comfort them and show them how to overcome their night-time fears.

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Family Matters

Relationships

HOW T CHIL O RESO LVE D-TE A CON CHER FLIC T

by Christa Melnyk Hines

"I hate my teacher," nine-year old *Elora declared to her mother. But, when pressed for details, Elora buried her head in her knees.

So her mum tried a different approach. “I engaged her in a fun activity,” she says. “Then I light-heartedly asked questions like who she likes the most at school, who she likes the least, followed by, ‘oh, how come?’

What I found out was that she felt like the teacher yelled at her.”

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A primary school child's disdain for her teacher may grow out of a variety of factors, like adjusting from a beloved former teacher’s management style to a new teacher's approach. Other influences on a child's attitude toward his teacher include class size, peer competition, increased homework, more demanding, independent school work or differences between home and school environments. How can you help mediate this common childhood conflict?

Do some digging Allow your child time to adjust to his teacher’s expectations and rules. If his complaints persist, 57

Family Matters ask objective questions, like: “How is the work for you? How are you getting along with the other kids?”

“By doing that you can get a flavour of the environment rather than the situation,” says Dr. Stephanie Mihalas, a child psychologist and a nationally certified school psychologist in the U.S., who frequently helps students and parents manage and resolve school conflicts. “You may get an idea that something else is happening that’s triggering the ‘meanness’ and then at that point, you have more information to call or email the teacher.”

Review class work Notice patterns like red marks and notes from the teacher on classwork. If your student struggles and seems afraid to ask questions, discuss appropriate times for her to talk to her teacher about the work and what types of questions she should ask.

Make real-world connections A child may grow disenchanted with school and her teacher if she doesn’t understand how the subject matter relates to real life. Due to increased pressure to focus on testing and assessments, teachers devote less classroom time for experiential learning opportunities or class projects. That’s where a parent can help.

“Engaging in the learning piece is key,” says Ashley Norris, Ph.D., assistant dean, University of Phoenix College of Education.

On the weekends, integrate classwork into your daily errands. For example, if your child is learning about the soil and the climate in science, take him to the plant souq. Practice multiplication skills to tally up the tip at a restaurant or to double a recipe at home.

“Parents (then) become a partner with the teacher.

Once that engagement starts to happen, the

Relationships perception of the student-teacher relationship changes,” Norris says.

Signs of a child-teacher conflict “The single biggest factor is a change in grades.

If grades are starting to slip, that’s a huge indicator,” Norris says. Behaviour changes can also indicate a problem, including disengagement at school, forgetting homework and lack of effort.

Resolving a personality conflict Rather than getting angry or defensive, take a calm, diplomatic approach when conferencing with the teacher.

“The last thing you want to do is instigate more conflict between the teacher and your child and if you start to pit sides, that’s what ends up happening,” Norris says.

Also, ask if you can sit in during class one day.

“Your presence might change the nature of how your child acts, but it will give you a flavour of how the teacher teaches,” Mihalas says.

" A child may grow disenchanted with school and her teacher if she doesn’t understand how the subject matter relates to real life."

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Family Matters

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When to contact administration Go over a teacher’s head only as a last resort. Perhaps the teacher agreed on a set of interventions, but isn’t following those strategies. Or maybe your child comes home crying every day and despite talking with the teacher, you are unable to resolve the issue. If you’ve exhausted all the other reasonable options and the problem persists, it may be a good time to speak with the principal or headmaster.

Request a different teacher?

Sometimes a child’s personality and a teacher’s personality simply clash. Unless the teacher is abusive, help your child understand that she’s not always going to like everyone, stressing the importance of remaining respectful and learning how to manage personality differences.

" The single biggest factor is a change in grades. If grades are starting to slip, that’s a huge indicator."

Education from 3 to 18 years old

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Relationships “In my humble opinion, I don’t think it’s a good idea to show children that because there’s a problem then they need to move from that classroom,” Mihalas says.

Instead teach flexibility by creating a link between friendships and getting along with others. For a younger child, you might say: “Everyone is different.

Just as Mummy and Daddy do things differently, this is how your teacher is. It’s really good to learn how to work with all different kinds of people.”

Seek professional help If interventions at school are unsuccessful, seek help from a child psychologist to rule out learning disabilities and anxiety. *Name changed.

Questions to ask the teacher: • Have you noticed my child struggling with a particular subject?

• Does she participate in classroom discussions?

• How does she seem to get along with her peers?

• How can we work together to help my child better adjust?

Freelance journalist Christa Melnyk Hines specialises in family communication issues. Connect with her at christamelnykhines.com.

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