Genuine Motivation: Young Christian Man April/May 2013

DEC

APR

2013

Juggling

Non-negotiables Simplifying the I nferiority C omplex Ever feel like Jonah?

Rags to Riches Pacing Yourself for the Long Run A publication of On My Own Now Ministries, Inc.

/ 11

GENUINE MOTIVATION Young Christian Man Apr 2013, Vol. 4 On My Own Now Ministries, Inc., Publisher Rob Beames, Editor Chandler Hunter with Donna Lee Schillinger, Page Design

Foremost

Rags to Riches: Pacing Yourself for the Long Run by

Contributors Rob Beames, Will Dole, Erik Guzman, Randy Kosloski, Thom Mollohan, Donna Lee Schillinger Except where noted, content is copyright 2013 On My Own Now Ministries.

Articles may be reprinted with credit to author, Genuine Motivation and www.OnMyOwnNow.com.

On My Own Now Ministries, Inc. is a nonprofit organization with a 501 (c) (3) determination. Your donations aid in our mission to encourage faith, wise life choices and Christ-likeness in young adults during their transition to living on their own.

We welcome submissions of original or repurposed articles that are contributed without expectation of compensation. May God repay you.

Visit us at www.OnMyOwnNow.com.

.6

Ever Feel Like Jonah?

Will Dole

May God Bless

Passion & Pain by

the

Hell Out

of

Erik Guzman

Can You Relate

Juggling Non-Negotiables by

Thom Mollohan

Cornered

by

Are You a Big Baby? by

.4

Donna Lee Schillinger

Press On by

Kimberly M. Schluterman Editorial Support

z

in this issue...

Grace

Rob Beames

On

the

Couch

You

.8 .10 .12 .14

What makes them Tick (Cover: Simplifying the Inferiority Complex) by

Randy Kosloski

z

Psalm 119:1-8, Aleph (how I would say it)

Life is good for people who do the right thing.

Life is good for people who play by God’s rules and are totally consumed with knowing God. They don’t break the rules; they follow the rules.

You, God, have laid down the law and you expect us to live by it.

Man, I wish I were more consistent in doing things your way. Then I wouldn’t feel like such a banana slug when I think about your laws.

Anyway, I’m just psyched to be your kid and be learning the family business.

I will get this right! Please don’t give up on me!

Read More of the Gospel of John (how I would say it)

Foremost oremost F

Rags to Riches Pacing Yourself for the Long Run

By Donna Lee Schillinger

W

ere you born into a family that doesn’t have to worry about money?

If so, lucky you! If not, join the club.

Most of us can relate to having wanted something we or our parents could not afford. And you know what? That’s a good thing. Maybe we only ever had that experience once or maybe we’ve known it almost every day of our lives. Regardless of how rare or frequent, it’s not wasted experience. We can use the feelings that being denied stirs in us to create compassion for the poor.

Some people think they have a solution for the poor: “If they would only…” or, “If the president and Congress would only…” The fact of the matter is that poverty is one of the most complicated issues with which humanity has to deal.

The solution is overly simple – poor people need money. The process is so complex that no society in all of human history has figured it out. Jesus said, “The poor you will always have with you” (Matthew 26:11). That says to me that some of us have to fulfill the role of being “the poor.” Just don’t let it be me, right?

4 APR13

Well, it has been me. My entire childhood, through college and the Peace Corps, I played the part of the “the poor.” Starting with my first job after I returned from the Peace Corps, I switched roles and now play “the middle class,” except for a brief period when I voluntarily returned to poverty to be able to take care of my grandparents in their old age and begin homeschooling my daughter. So, I know a little something about poverty. I could tell you how I got out, but it’s no guaranteedto-work-for-you solution.

The one thing from my experience that I believe does hold true for everyone is that if we are poor, it doesn’t mean we always will be poor. This is particularly true for college students. Statistically, they’ve got a great chance of being middle class or better, even if they come from a poor family.

Going from poor to rich is a common transition in our society. We still call it “the American dream,” but it happens so frequently that Americans have adopted a cultural view that anyone can pull himself up by his boot straps if he really

Feature has the desire to do it. If we’ve ever racked up a big credit card debt then tried to pay it off, or if we’ve ever tried saving for a down payment on a car, we know firsthand that bettering ourselves financially is not as easy as pulling on boot straps (whatever those are!).

With few exceptions, people who have shifted classes in their lifetimes don’t do it instantly. We can’t just wake up one day and say, “That’s it! I’ve had it with being poor. Starting today I’m shifting classes and I will have completed my transition by this time tomorrow.” That’s ridiculous, of course, but my point is that bringing oneself out of poverty is most often a five-year, 10-year or even a 20- or 30-year plan. Even the great positive thinkers of the 20th century, like Zig Ziglar, started out with nothing and stayed that way a long time. Read the biographies and memoirs of famous people – athletes and entertainers included – most of these people struggled for decades with having enough money to pay the rent before their efforts finally paid off. Those hard luck stories are what makes their lives interesting and their books sell!

Are you living in lean years? Take comfort in knowing that you can improve your situation – you’re in the best country in the world for class mobility – but it won’t come quickly. You’ve got to pace yourself. Live within your means – meaning don’t spend money you don’t have. You can do without the laptop, cell phone and $70 Abercrombie T-shirt. Instead of watching television in your downtime, which is programmed intentionally to stir consumer desire within you, encourage yourself by reading life stories about people who made it out of poverty – there are so many. You can find their stories in magazines and books available for free at your local library – a fascinating place.

article

Hang out with people who have gone through what you’re going through. Talk to your parents, aunts, uncles and people at church about how they struggled.

Adopt the attitude that you’re in a long transition. You’re not poor, you’re becoming rich – it’s just going to take some time.

We may want to get out of our situation as quickly as possible, but it will serve us in life. Learn to appreciate this experience – while we’re still in it – for the perspective it will give us and the compassion for the poor it will create in us. If we come out of our poverty with the attitude, “I did it, why can’t they?” we haven’t learned the lesson of poverty.

Poverty is discouraging; it colors our outlook everyday of the year; it limits our opportunity. When we make it out, we should thank God for giving us the necessary intelligence and skills and opportunities to capitalize on them. And when God gives us the opportunity to show compassion to a poor person, we must seize that in thanks to God that we’re no longer poor (or that we never were).

Hold this thought: A poor person’s life is hard enough without me adding to his grief. I can relate.

Donna Lee Schillinger is editor of the recent anthology Purity’s Big Payoff/Premarital Sex is a Big Rip-off, winner of the 2012 Christian Small Publisher’s Book of the Year. In 2008 she founded On My Own Now Ministries to encourage faith, wise life choices and Christ-likeness in young adults. On My Own Now publishes the free, monthly online magazines, Single! Young Christian Woman and Genuine Motivation: Young Christian Man. 5 GM

Press On

Ever Feel Like J onah ? by

W

hen God said to Peter, “You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with or visit a Gentile. But God has shown me that I should not call anyone impure or unclean�

(Acts 10:28), He revealed that those persons the Jews had considered unclean or off limits were now no longer to be considered as such. The death of Christ opened a way for Jews to associate with Gentiles. God made this clear to Peter.

Soon after, Peter went with the messengers of a Roman centurion, considered to be

6 APR13

Will Dole

the worst of all Gentiles, and preached to the friends and family of a man named Cornelius. To the surprise of many, the Holy Spirit descended upon this group and they were saved.

From our vantage point, it seems like this would have been reason to celebrate, but instead it caused a big hubbub with the Jewish Christians who thought everyone had to become a Jew before following Jesus.

Eventually, God ironed everything out and the church accepted the Gentile believers.

We know this because the vast majority of

Christians reading this article right now getting saved. At times, we might even be are not Jewish. as bad as Jonah. Remember his story?

This amazing event witnessed by Peter God told Jonah to travel to Nineveh and raises a question. Who are we supposed to preach, but he ran away. After an ordeal reach with the gospel? It’s clear from the with a giant fish, God turned him around great commission that we need to have a and headed him back toward Nineveh. mindset of seeking after those who don’t When he finally arrived, Jonah delivered a know Christ. Jesus said, “All authority in “short and sweet” sermon: “Forty more days heaven and on earth has been given to me. and Nineveh will be overthrown” (Jonah Therefore go and make disciples of all 3:4). No mercy, no grace, no forgiveness… nations, baptizing Nonetheless, the city them in the name repented and more We want our evangelism of the Father and than 120,000 people of the Son and of were saved. How did efforts to either bring in the Holy Spirit, and Jonah respond? He people that we are already teaching them to went up on a hill and obey everything I pouted like a fivecomfortable around or who have commanded year old. He didn’t you. And surely I like the Ninevites, will add to our coolness.. am with you always, so it upset him that to the very end of God would stoop so the age” (Matthew 28:18-20). Jesus has low as to save them. been Lord over all heaven and earth for the I see a lot of myself in that story. I last 2,000 years or so, and He is still is, so worship my comfort and my preferences. we still ought to go and make disciples of I only like to hang out with certain people, all nations. Going to all nations means that so if you’re not one of them, good luck! we go to all cultural groups, languages, Why would I want to share the love of tribes and peoples (see Revelation 5:8- Christ with you? Does that sound sick?

10). Yet, it has been my experience that That’s because it is. What selfish creatures Christians tend to target two groups of we can be! people: those who are very much like us Jesus has made every kind of person and and those we consider attractive. We want personality type acceptable to God. He’s our evangelism efforts to either bring in people that we are already comfortable also made all of our baggage irrelevant. around or who will add to our coolness. He offers everyone a spiritual, eternal Rarely, do we seek out the drunk on the cleanness. This offer goes out to the queen corner, the homeless guy on the street or of England and to the heroin addict living the person with a background which makes in the slums. The gospel of Jesus is for us nervous, such as ex-cons. Could it be everyone. So, let’s get busy and share it that we hesitate to witness to these types with everyone.

Can it be difficult to do sometimes? Sure, of people because if we told them about the miracle of salvation that Jesus offers, but we should remember Jesus offers this they might actually believe it? That might good news to us, although He shouldn’t mean that they start coming to our church, even want to associate with us due to our or worse, we may actually have to spend sin. We can love others with the gospel, no some time with them. Are we any better matter who they are, as we depend on His than the Jews who were afraid of Gentiles Spirit to overcome our fears and pride.

7 GM

May God Bless

the

Hell Out

of

You

Passion & Pain by

M

Erik Guzman

y seven-year-old son couldn’t hold anything down. It was the Saturday before Christmas Eve when he got sick, the day before we were leaving for Chicago to spend the holiday with family. We couldn’t get him medicine and Pedialyte until the day after Christmas when stores would re-open. By then, he had had the stomach flu for four days.

He was already skinny, but over the course of the entire six days he was sick, he got scary skinny.

I felt so helpless. I would have traded places with him if I could have, but that’s not as selfless as it sounds. Sure, I wanted to spare my son the pain and give him a merry Christmas, but returning from vacation 10 pounds lighter instead of 10 pounds heavier would have been a welcomed first.

You know, if you pray for my son right now, God will hear your prayers outside of time and apply them to when he was sick. Go ahead and try it.

Thanks for your prayers! You’ll be happy to hear they worked and my son got better.

While I was away from home feeling powerless to help my little boy, I was also watching Key Life wrap up one of our most difficult years financially. At Key Life Network, like many organizations, we’re doing more with less. On top of that, we’re taking a leap of faith into some new areas. That’s scary too.

My wife and I did the best we could during this time. It was tough. We’ve been in counseling, working through some heavy stuff. You know that horrible

8 APR13

silence couples can sometimes put each other through? That’s what we gave each other for Christmas!

Honestly, I wanted to drink it all away, but I knew that would just make things worse. It was tempting though. Numbing out all the pain and fear sounded so good.

Now I’m back home, trying to figure out how to juggle no-interest credit card offers in order to manage the payments on those plane tickets to Chicago—along with the rest of our looming debt.

The uncertainty of life is stressful. Did I mention how much I want to escape all this?

Yet, instead of booze, I turned to religion to try and bribe God to make my troubles go away. I pointed out my full-time service for the Kingdom, my seminary classes, the book I’m writing “for Him” and, of course, how I hadn’t gotten drunk for a while. I thought maybe all my good behavior could earn me a few more bucks or some assurance about the future. It didn’t work.

However, while I was being religious, I went to a church retreat with an emphasis on the Holy Spirit, thinking that if my circumstances weren’t going to change, maybe God would show up and give me what I needed to get through them.

He did.

During the retreat, there was a time for people to pray for one another’s hearts.

Now, all of the numbing I had done over the years had left me pretty dead inside. I came to not expect much from God—that way I wouldn’t have to suffer the pain

Feature of disappointment. For some time I’d had this vision of my heart as a crusty, shriveled-up, raisin sort of thing.

So, I sat there while two strangers silently prayed for my heart with their hands on my back, and that image of my scabby raisin kept going through my mind. I started to pray, “God, please heal my heart. Please heal my heart.”

Then I imagined that God said, “No.” That’s about right, I thought.

Then the voice in my head said, “I will not heal your heart, but I will give you mine.”

I’m like, “Huh?” He added, “You don’t need a healing; you need a transplant.”

Then the image of the sacred heart of Jesus appeared in my mind’s eye. You know the image? It’s no raisin heart. It’s full and aflame with passion and love.

Sometimes it’s seen with the Holy Spirit descending on it as a dove. This heart is alive because it’s the heart of the living God. But there’s more. This sacred heart of Jesus offered to me in exchange for my raisin is wrapped in thorny vines. It has a spear wound in its side and it’s bleeding.

It’s in pain. Love hurts.

I’ve had some time to ponder all this and I think I know what it means.

If we want to be fully alive, we can’t numb the pain. Because when we deaden the pain of the thorns with booze or religion or relationships or porn or money or entertainment, we put out the flame of passion too, and our heart shrivels up. We lose the joy of living. We lose hope. It’s impossible to selectively kill parts of our heart. The whole thing dies, the passion with the pain.

In contrast, Jesus’ heart is full of life and love, full of passion and pain, and no matter how dead we’ve become, His heart is ours for the receiving. It’s never too late

article

for a transplant.

Later at that retreat, the leader of our time together handed me a little piece of paper with a scripture verse scribbled on it. It said, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26).

Like I said, God showed up and He gave me what I needed.

Isn’t Jesus’ sacred heart what it’s all about—God and man as one, suffering?

But not just suffering. It’s enduring the cross, fully alive and passionate, keeping our eyes on the joy set before us.

What joy?

The joy God shares with us as we go through life and death and beyond, together, with one living heart. It’s the cup of love He drank and the cup He offers. It’s the cup we offer others.

Now, when the kids get sick and the money’s gone and the marriage is getting worse not better, I try to remember the sacred heart I share with Jesus. It helps knowing I don’t suffer alone. He’s inside of me filling me with life, and feeling the joy of that is worth the pain.

When the fear and the pain come for you, maybe remembering Jesus’ sacred heart will help you too. Know that you’re united with Him, no matter what. Feel the pain—don’t run from it—and His passion for you will set your heart aflame with life and love too.

Erik Guzman is Executive Producer at Key Life Network and can be heard on the nationally syndicated talk show Steve Brown Etc. and as announcer for Key Life.

He has a wife, three children, a BA in Mass Communication and an MBA. He’s also a drummer, 4th degree black belt in Aikido and Master of Theology student at Reformed Theological Seminary.

9 GM

Can You Relate

Juggling Non-Negotiables by

M

Thom Mollohan

y schedule, like that of many people today, is proving to be so crushingly crowded that I have a tendency to feel overwhelmed.

It isn’t simply that there countless things to do, but there is also a broad diversity in the things that need to be done. There’s so little connection between many of those things that sufficiently prioritizing them can be like juggling a dozen China dishes in the air. Our lives aren’t always a nice, neat process working as it should.

My oldest son learned to do a little bit of actual juggling a couple of years ago—a feat that I was never able to manage. The skills required to do so were simply beyond my ability. Juggling multiple responsibilities isn’t an easy feat either.

10 APR13

In fact, in our mad effort to try to keep a dozen plates in the air, we often lose sight of the fact that some plates we are tossing up are ones we desperately can’t afford to drop.

Think about it for a moment. Would you want to risk your great-great-great-grandmother’s rare banquet dish that came over with her from the Old World? If you could juggle plates, would you allow that family heirloom to be treated as if it were as common as the inexpensive dishes you could easily replace in a quick trip to Wally World? Would you use your brand new iPad 4 as a paperweight, a doorstop, a coaster for your ice-cold Mountain Dew or perhaps as a fetch toy for your dog?

Sadly, this is exactly what we do with the spiritual treasures. In our busy lives, one plate we try to juggle, or we may drop altogether, is the most precious of all: our relationship with God through reading His Word and prayer. Other priceless plates we often neglect are things like spending quality time with our families and taking time for corporate worship and service with other Christians.

These are three plates that we should neither attempt to keep in the air with the other common plates, nor allow to drop out of our focus. We should treat them as non-negotiables holding them near and dear to our hearts and at the top of our schedules.

The most important plate to guard and cherish is the personal relationship that Jesus died to grant us. All other plates are expendable in comparison.

This doesn’t mean that the other plates are not important, but if in trying to keep them all in the air, we risk mishandling the invaluable one, then we must learn to refuse even the good things which can steal away our devotion to God. Jesus said our top priority should be to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37 ESV).

Love for anyone, especially God, is not measured by good intentions but by the choices we make. We have the ability to choose how to spend our own time. If we spend little-to-no time with God then we are basically saying that we do not love God as much as the other things that crowd Him out of our lives. That realization can definitely be an uncomfortable one. Busy schedules that preclude time for God send out nonverbal messages that we just do not love Him all that much.

We should make time with Him a top priority.

How about getting up 15 minutes earlier to read His Word? It’s amazing how easily we can hear Him speak when we give Him the time of day! We should make corporate worship a Sunday nonnegotiable—no matter how tempting it may be to catch up on the rest we missed out on earlier in the week. We should give God the first fruits of our time and trust Him to bless us with the spiritual

riches of grace, strength, joy and peace.

Worried about some of the other plates smashing on the ground? So what if that happens? At least your non-negotiable relationship with the Lord will remain. This is one reason why Jesus told us not to worry about the lesser things in comparison to Him, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.

Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? (Matthew 6:25 ESV).

We can generalize this worry for everyday things to include worrying about the well-being of our loved ones, the upkeep of our homes or that promotion at work—which would probably mean a longer work week anyway.

Remember that Jesus teaches us to keep things simple and keep our lives focused upon Him. A little juggling is alright as long as we stay focused on that most important plate—our relationship with God and the legacy of spiritual fruitfulness that He desires to cultivate in us. Make God the main thing in your life and then trust Him with all the details. As He said, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33).

Thom Mollohan is a Christian inspirational speaker and writer, instructor of college readiness courses, and pastor of a great bunch of Believers.

His favorite roles are that of husband and father.

He is especially passionate for the igniting of passionate worship of a passionate God! Thom is also the author of The Fairy Tale Parables: Classis Fairy Tales Pointing to God’s Love and Truth and Crimson Harvest. He may be reached for comments or questions by email at pastorthom@ pathwaygallipolis.com.

11 GM

Cornered

by

Grace

Are you a

Big Baby? by

Rob Beames

I

t might have been the school playground, or perhaps while playing at home with siblings, but at some point, a knee was skinned, an imaginary world was overthrown… something knocked the wind out of your sails and the tears began to flow.

The next thing you knew, you were hearing the words that would change your life: “Cry Baby! Cry Baby!” You’ve spent every day since avoiding being called that again.

No one likes to hear such hurtful accusations.

We don’t want to feel like we’re weak, helpless or needy at any age. But the dangers, hassles and stresses of this life can make even the strongest and toughest sometimes feel like crawling into the fetal position, shutting the world out and feeling sorry for ourselves. Even those we might consider spiritual giants have punched their tickets a few times on the pity party cruise line. It’s not uncommon.

One of God’s greatest mouth-pieces, one of the “transfiguration elite,” went there. The Prophet

12 APR13

Elijah literally ran as deep into the wilderness as he could go in one day and hid under a large bush, praying himself to sleep. He was so distraught that he wished he would never wake up again (1 Kings 19:3-5). After an angle woke him up with some baked bread, not once, but twice, Elijah ran for 40 more days until he found a secluded cave to curl up in for the night. Then the Lord asked him something like, “Dude, what’s going on? First, you beg me to kill you, now you’re out here in the middle of nowhere hiding in a cave?” (1 Kings 19:6-9). Elijah just whined in response—something about things not being fair. Apparently, all of his countrymen were trying to murder without cause.

So God decided Elijah needed a little encouragement. He prodded him out of the cave and showed him a small demonstration of His power: a strong wind, an earthquake and a fire. Still Elijah didn’t get it, so God spoke to him in a gentle whisper (1 Kings 19:10-12). At this, Elijah covered his face

with his hoodie and ran back to hide in the cave. God asked, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (verse 13).

It was as if God was saying, “Can you not see and feel my power? Do you think you would be facing such danger and rejection against my will?”

Elijah was probably a little distracted by the price on his head—all he could do was repeat the exact same complaint as before. “I have no friends. Everyone hates me. Waa. Waa. Waa.” What a cry baby! In Elijah’s defense, it’s not like he didn’t have reason to gripe. For all he knew, he was the only God-follower left on earth, and the queen had a personal vendetta against him.

God showed Elijah that all of his pouting and feeling sorry for himself was useless, because He had it all under control. He told Elijah to come out of hiding and anoint new leadership who would rule with justice. He also gave him a fearless helper who would wipe out all his enemies. As a bonus, He exposed Elijah’s misperception of being all alone and friendless—there were 7,000 people out there just like him, dedicated to following God. How about you? Ever pray yourself to sleep? If so, you know what it’s like to feel so desperately hopeless that all you can do is ask God, “Why?” Most of us haven’t been on the run and hidden in caves, yet many of us have been where Elijah was emotionally. It doesn’t take losing all your friends and making the “most wanted” list to bring us to feel sorry for ourselves. The issues we face daily, from difficult relationships to financial decisions to health concerns, are menacing enough. They can slowly wear away our pretentious armor, or, in one quick maneuver, pin us to the mat and we’re out for the count.

Just like with Elijah, God can use massive, lifechanging explosions or still small voices to send us running into His arms of grace. God knew that Elijah’s worrying was unnecessary since He would work out everything for His good purposes, but that didn’t keep Him from dealing with His servant in grace and compassion.

doesn’t, or we tire of waiting, we can begin a rapid descent to feeling so low we hate our lives.

Elijah was so focused on his real and present danger, he couldn’t find God even though he was blown over by a strong wind, shaken up by violent tremors and blown away by fire in the night. God was nearer to him than ever but he couldn’t see Him for staring at the temporary—terrifying as it was. But compared to God’s power, nothing we face today should really be all that scary. Elijah didn’t quite get that.

Unfortunately, and understandably, we seldom get it either. Jesus left us His Spirit. The Comforter is not only near us though all of our difficulties, but He is within us. Yet, we often let the troubles of this life reduce us to big babies—quick to pout about our circumstances and feel sorry for ourselves as we face unnecessary stress, disappointments, loss and pain.

Looking down the sharp edge of the sword, Elijah forgot that Jezebel didn’t control his fate. God always had him held tightly in His grip. Elijah wasn’t going anywhere God didn’t want him to go.

Likewise, our experiences can cause us to forget that we answer to an incredibly generous and loving God, not an employer, influential client, teacher, enemy or even friend. Things may not always go well for us, but we must trust that God holds our fate in His hands, either way. We may have made some really poor choices in the past, but we must know that if God didn’t want us in our current mess, we wouldn’t be there. It’s pointless to blame ourselves or act like a big baby—even if we do enjoy moping around for a while. Instead, we have the freedom to accept what we can’t control. By doing so, we are relieved from the resentment that comes from not getting our way, and freed up to do more of what He’s called us to do, like dancing in His presence, loving others in His name and using the gifts He’s given us for His glory.

(I believe He wanted me to remind you of this.)

In the end, Elijah got what he needed and his issues were resolved. And God can do that for us, too...if He decides to do so. Often He does not. When He

13 GM

On

the

Couch

What Makes Them Tick

by

Randy Kosloski

In one of Jesus’ last days, he sat at the temple and “watched the crowd putting their money in the temple treasury” (Mark 12:41). The New American Standard Version says that Jesus watched “how the people were putting money into the treasury.” It seems Jesus was not interested in how much money people were putting into the treasury, but instead He was focused on their demeanor as they approached. Some came with proud chests and disdaining looks; others humbly extended their hands, feeling their gift was unworthy. With her two mites, the widow probably felt inferior to the other givers, as she took that slow walk to the treasury.

Though she did not have much, the widow was compelled to give what she could. With judgmental peers watching, that two-mite approach to the treasury took a million dollars’ worth of courage.

A similar feeling of inferiority plagues every human. Alfred Adler, one of the founders of modern psychology, called this the inferiority complex—the belief that we are somehow less deserving of love and blessings than the rest of humanity. One way to compensate for an inferiority complex is to manipulate our environment so that others will seem beneath us. Adler termed this the fictional goal of superiority. It’s fictional because in reality we are all equal, a fraternity of inferior feeling people trying to feel superior. He also believed this sense of inferiority was a driving force inside the mind of every human.

Insecurity can take us to some dangerous places, case in point: Yosemite Sam, classic inferiority complex. He shows no love for his fellow man, carrying two big pistols to compensate for diminutive size and an aggressive attitude to make up for his lack of

14 APR13

charm and wit. He does everything possible to Instead of two big guns, this Sam wore get rid of anyone who makes him feel stupid, European designer clothing; Sam’s high test weak or incapable. grades, big sports trophies or latest sexual escapades were ways he felt superior, and I counseled a scared, insecure jerk like when they weren’t enough, he belittled as Yosemite Sam once. His inferiority complex necessary to reach his goal. stemmed from his father’s high expectations of him. Sam was a great athlete, a good Eventually, Sam became tired of being a student, a successful and active socialite, but lonely, self-doubting jerk. The only thing he never felt he was successful enough for his more tiring than the burden of inferiority father. This caused him to constantly bash the is the quest for superiority. Every human accomplishments of others in order to make seeks to rise above all others in terms of his own seem more impressive. As much their success, in order to quell that pestering as Sam tore down others, he hated himself feeling of inferiority. We use guns, money, for it afterwards. This self-hatred birthed a bling, beauty, luxury, even things like social bitterness that spread like a vapor into every justice to help us feel superior. Even humility part of his life, making it even more difficult and generosity can have their roots in our for Sam to change. It further drove him in his pursuit for superiority. It’s an expedition quest for superiority. Consequently, others in pride. Yet as we march up to the church disconnected from him to avoid his belittling. treasury with our fat wallets, we are haunted

In reality, there is, perhaps, no one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself; you will see it, perhaps, often in this history; for, even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.

-Benjamin Franklin

15 GM

On

the

Couch

by the clink of two lonely pennies in the frail hands of a widow timidly following behind us.

In counseling, I tried to persuade Sam he was a jerk, which was actually the easy part. What was difficult was convincing him that he was no worse than anyone else. I didn’t therapeutically remove him from his pedestal; rather I soulfully lifted him up to the God-given level of a human being.

The search for superiority will never die in Sam, or in any of us. Yet, if we keep our eyes on God while battling the pride within, our inevitable efforts toward superiority can be refocused in the Lord’s will for the good of humanity. The answer for this human condition is to, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength [and] love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:30, 31).

The battle to feel superior operates at a group level too. In fact, if we could revisit the story of any particular oppression in the light of the inferiority complex at work, we better understand sad attempts of one group to feel superior by subjugating another.

The slavery of the Jews in Egypt is one such example. God ended the hardship of His people by sending a Jewish leader to Pharaoh, who was not only one of his oppressed but also his brother, both a slave and a prince. It is the same with us. The slave is our brother. His suffering is ours and our joy should be his. For, we are all created equal and must strive to live out our equality. The work of God’s people as N.T. Wright said is to, “model genuine humanness as a sign and an invitation to those around us.” In our modeling we could all better love our neighbor as ourselves and quicken the coming of God’s kingdom.

16 APR13

In the end, we are no better than Yosemite Sam or any of the Sams in the world, not even Sam I Am. In the beloved children’s story, that Sam I Am could simply not let it go. The guy he hounded did not like green eggs and ham, but it didn’t stop Sam I Am from trying to disprove the man’s firm conviction.

The deep-seated feelings of inadequacy, which pushed Sam I Am to berate that hater of green eggs and ham, fuels each one of us.

It’s what makes us all tick. The only escape is to seek to love God above all others and to love others as ourselves. We are all created equal and the only success that we can ever truly achieve is that which elevates others.