Single! Young Christian Woman - Sept 09

single!

A P U B L I C AT I O N O F O N M Y O W N N O W M I N I S T R I E S

k SEPT.

/ 09

Young Christian Women

Saving Pennies and the Planet Budgeting Basics

To Creeps Everywhere: It’s No Use Hiding – We Know You’re in There

Three Square Meals Plus Some

on $5 a Day

Also

My Mom is Dating a Creep!

The New Facebook

w w w. o n m y o w n n o w. c o m

in this

issue...

Straight Talk from the Proverbs: To Creeps Everywhere: It’s No Use Hiding – We Know You’re in There

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Moving Out ... Settling In: Saving Pennies and the Planet

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by Donna Lee Schillinger

by Kimberly Miller

Down Home Healthy Cookin' for One ona Budget:

Three Square Meals Plus Some on $5 a Day

by Reba Ray

Dear Gabby: My Mom is Dating a Creep!

Spare Change:

Budgeting Basics: Good Clean Fun at Least Once a Month

by Paola Segnini

Fashion DIVinA Forever in Blue Jeans

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by Gwen Schumaker

Just What You Need

o

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.12 .14 .16

Make New Friends but Keep the Old

by Donna Lee Schillinger

Single!

Young Christian Woman a publication of On My Own Now Ministries

www.onmyownnow.com

Editor-In-Chief

donna lee schillinger contributors

paola segnini, kimberly miller, gwen schumaker, Debra Collins art director

daniela bermúdez

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o Fridge-worthy.

We see high drama in the movies all the time, but in real life, big acting does not win awards.

Straight talk from the Proverbs for young Christian women who want to remain pure, debt-free and regret-free. “In this interesting and thought-provoking exploration of the book of Proverbs, Schillinger takes young women along a journey that will help them to make better, safer, and more sound decisions.�

Cheryl C. Malandrinos The Book Connection blog Now Available at www.onmyownnow.com, at Amazon, B&N and a library and bookstore near you.

straight talk

To Creeps Everywhere:

It’s No Use Hiding

Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart. A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit. Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart. His malice may be concealed by deception, but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.

Proverbs 26:23-26

As water reflects a face, so a man's heart

Ticking Time Bomb from Toledo’s question to Dear Gabby in this issue of Single! reminded me of days gone by when I was in a similar situation with my own mother. I totally sympathize with TTB and hope she’ll pray for God to reveal her mother’s boyfriend for what he really is. And if he is a creep, I hope it will be found out sooner, not later – like was the case with my stepfather.

My mother has a certain j’ne sais qua that fishes out hypocrites from an assembly. She’s a very beautiful woman with a sort of natural flirt about her and for decades it has driven men wild. She was one of these poor secretaries that was actually chased around the desk by her boss – the mayor!

In her “single mother” years, many a married church leader fell for her.

It makes me sick now and it did then to think of the flowers that arrived at our house signed by the fathers of my church and school friends. These

reflects the man.

we know you are in there

by Donna Lee Schillinger

Proverbs 27:19

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S

same men were head ushers, deacons, members of the choir. If I didn’t learn from them that you can’t judge a book by its cover, Olin “Ted” Lewis drove the point home.

Ted was my mother’s second husband, a retired Sergeant Major from the Army, Ted had a tall stance, a take-charge manner and a quick and easy laugh – he had charisma. However, as the months of their marriage rolled by, he seemed to lose that charisma and ended up shuffling around the house like a miserable geezer. But on Sunday mornings, he came alive.

Everyone thought highly of Ted at church, even if he did smoke. Ted was so charming to everyone that it made my upper lip curl. “If they could only know him like I know him,” I thought many times.

Ted served as an usher in our church and he occasionally graced the congregation by singing and playing his guitar. I can still remember him singing, “One day at a time, Sweet Jesus. That’s all I’m asking from you. Give me the strength to do every day what I’ve got to do.” Little did I know at the time that he was pleading with God for strength to face his stepdaughters.

It’s true that my sisters and I were a free-thinking lot that didn’t mesh so well with retired military routine. Our relaxed manners drove him nuts and he didn’t believe we gave him the respect he deserved as head of household. I think a big part of it was he was from South Carolina where it’s customary to say “Yes, Ma’am” and “Yes, Sir,” and we were from Houston where it’s customary for kids to call adults by their first names as if they were peers. Irreconcilable differences between the kids and stepfather contributed to the demise of my mom’s second marriage, but I won’t take all the responsibility. I believe that Ted had married my mother hoping to repair the hurt he felt from his first marriage – that’s always a formula for disaster.

To the very end, Ted acted like a perfect husband and dad in church. I don’t know how a person is supposed to act in church when they are unhappy at home, but there is something wrong about having a personality transformation in a parking lot – from dreadful to dandy in less than 50 feet – and then back again after church is over! It didn’t feel fair to me that no one else knew Ted as we knew him. But these things tend to come out in the wash. Sometimes it takes years, but in this case, only months.

After 18 months of marriage, Ted left us. That would

have spoken loudly enough – people in the church could have figured out there was a lot more to him than met the eye – but Ted really showed his true colors in the choice of vehicle he left us with. When he married my mom, she drove a light blue ’65 Chevy Camaro with a real spoiler – we used to call it a shark fin. It was a cool car and we loved it. Ted drove a newer (early 80s) model Monte Carlo. Ted talked my mother into trading the Camaro in for a new truck.

I still don’t see the logic in that – we lived in the city and weren’t prone to hauling things and only three of our five-person family could fit in the truck. Why did we need a truck, especially at the expense of our beloved classic car?

When Ted left us, he took both his Monte Carlo and the new truck, and in exchange, he left us with a 1974 Impala. If you know anything about cars, you know that nothing attractive came out of the 70s. This car was an abject beast and the worst of seaweed green colors. It was instant and perpetual shame. Ted was giving us a kick in the pants on the way out and doing it for everyone to see. He was gone and he didn’t care anymore what anyone athought of him.

I could fill an entire book with my stories of posers who later revealed themselves, and Ted is one of the milder examples. Others have turned out to be compulsive liars, addicted to pornography, child abusers, infidels. I wish I knew an inordinate number of dysfunctional people, but I have probably only met an average number – about the same as you’ll meet in your life. The sad truth is there are a whole lot of people out there who are living lies. Even sadder, many of them are in our churches. Don’t ever think that just because a person professes Christianity or attends church regularly that they are a safe person.

Some truly possessed individuals will be singing in the choir this Sunday at a congregation near you.

Hold this thought: I would be surprised at who is really a liar.

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w moving out ... settling in

Saving Penn

an

As I work toward that 60% Solution Paola mentioned in her column, I’m looking for ways to whittle down expenses. And fortunately, my job with a utility company has taught me some not-so-obvious little things that add up to big difference in my own utility bills.

First, the obvious: reduce use. When it comes to utilities, the less you use, the less you pay for. Here are some tricks I’ve learned: ‘ Unplug anything with an indicator light: your cell phone charger, laptop charger and even your microwave. ‘ Turn your surge protector to “off” when you are not using anything that is plugged into it. ‘ Wash your clothes and run the dishwasher in the cooler evenings to save in two ways: one, you are not putting more heat into your home while your air conditioner is working the hardest to cool it; and two, you can save by waiting for off-peak hours to use a lot of electricity.

Invest in energy-efficient fluorescent bulbs (the swirly kind)

Although I love the responsibility and

privilege of living on my own, there are a few dreadful things that come around periodically that require attention: bills. Yes, it’s true. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t get rid of them. And it stinks, because I don’t like to give all my hard-earned money to someone else. Do you know how many hours I have to work to afford my cell phone??

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‘ Insulate as well as you can. This can be tough when you rent, but some things you can do are invest in thermal curtains and leave curtains and blinds closed during the day. ‘ Invest in energy-efficient fluorescent bulbs (the swirly kind) that use a fraction as much energy as traditional incandescent bulbs.

Last winter, I used space heaters and an electric fireplace to supplement my central gas heating system.

Since electricity is cheaper than gas right now (although this can and does fluctuate), I heated only the space I was in and used cheaper energy to do it. No sense in heating the whole house if I’m only going to sit in the living room. Oh, but careful with those

w

nies

by Kimberly Miller

nd the Planet space heaters! Keep the area in front of them clear of anything combustible.

If you want to steer clear of space heaters or already heat with electric, consider shutting the vents in the spaces you don’t use as much and closing the doors on them. Also, adjust your thermostat so that you’ll be comfortable in the room you spend the most time in. This saves money in the hot summer months as well.

A friend of mine keeps her thermostat set low in the winter – like in the 60s – and she can do this because her bedroom is toasty compared to the rest of the house. Then when she’s at work during the day, it doesn’t matter that the rest of the house is cool. So she only needs to crank the heat for a few hours in the evening and on the weekend.

Talk to your landlord or lady about getting a programmable thermostat too. They only cost about $40 and you can save that back in the first month of use by setting the heat and air to work minimally while you’re away, kick in when you’re home and moving about, and then settle down again when you do at night. You program the thermostat once and then it takes care of adjusting the temp for you all season long.

Last summer, I couldn’t figure out why my gas bill was so high when I only use gas for heating. I learned that, first of all, there is a minimum charge even if I don’t use any gas, so I shouldn’t expect a $0 bill just because it’s hot outside. Secondly, my water heater is on natural gas, so unless I take cold showers, I will always have at least a small bill. But how could I reduce this? The simple answer is to use more cold water. But how?

Unless you are one who waits for the water to get warm before you wash your hands (which can waste a lot of water), you probably are not going to wash in warm water even if you turn on the hot side of the faucet. But, when you turn on the hot side of the faucet, you are indicating to your water heater that

it needs to fire up. If you don’t plan on waiting for the water to warm anyway, you might as well turn on the cold faucet – same hand-washing experience, uses less gas.

When it comes to conserving water, remember that moderate-length showers use significantly less water than most baths. If you hand-wash your dishes, wash them in a sink full of soapy water and set them aside to rinse together at the end. Rinsing each dish individually uses more water than rinsing the whole sink at once. If you water your plants, you might check the forecast first. There is nothing more annoying than watering my plants right before it rains!

For more on saving water, visit the various links on how to save water in the bathroom, kitchen, laundry and outside at http://www.saveonutilities. com.

One final tip: recycle! Do you know I actually save money because I pay for a weekly recycling pick-up service? Rates will vary greatly depending on where you live, but I pay a small fee for recycling that includes cardboard, paper, plastic and aluminum, which makes up about 75% of my trash. On the flip side, the less garbage destined for the landfill that I put out, the more money I save with my garbage service. The amount I save by having less trash greatly exceeds the amount I spend for the recycling service.

The most important thing with any of your bills is to be conscientious. Most utility companies have literature to teach about conservation: get it, read it and start saving!

Although my primary motivator for reducing use is monetary, I’m also trying to be a steward of God’s earth. Regardless of your political position on “going green” and preventing global warming, you can’t argue with good stewardship. God gave us dominion over all the earth, but that doesn’t mean He gave us carte blanche to trash it! Let’s be grateful for creation by using as little of it as we have to. Among the positive results will be a little extra green in your bank account each month.

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o Reba Ray´s down home healthy cookin’ for one on a budget

Square

by Reba Ray

Three MealS

SomE 5 a Day

on $

I’m gonna give you four day’s worth of menu and shopping list, as well as a shopping list for a starter kit of ingredients that’ll last you for at least three months, in most cases, and some things may last you for three years (like the salt!). Yur gonna have to check back with me in the next three issues of Single!

Young Christian Woman, to get the menus and shopping lists for days five through 16.

But that dudn’t mean you can’t start using this menu right now.

Now I know $55 for a starter kit sounds a little outrageous, so if you can’t afford to do that, I’ve put a little star thingy (*) on the items you would use from the starter kit in this first 4-day Menu.

So you can set about getting that kit put together little by little if you need to. Regardless of how you get it, that $55 worth of ingredients will average out to be about less than a dollar a day. Added to the $4 a day menu and yur eatin’ for $5 a day.

Now, just a few ground rules.

Is it just me or has the price of groceries been going up a lot faster than my paycheck? If yur havin’ trouble making yur monthly budget (yep, we’re really poundin’ the budget hard this issue), I’ve got a way you can cut down on yur food bill.

What I’m gonna do is plan ya out 16 days worth of food – three meals, a snack and a dessert – that I promise will fill ya up, not make ya fat, and if eatin’ three meals a day is even possible on yur budget, you’ll be able to afford it with this plan. This month

(You Read Me Right!)

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1. You gotta shop smart.

You can’t go to one of those fancy schmancy Fresh Markets or City Markets where they sell two dozen different kinds of olives. You need you a Kroger or a Wal-mart or some other low priced store and even then, you need to buy the store brand when you can to make this work.

Deal? I don’t list a size on these products, so just get as large a container as you can without going over the allotted price. For the spices,

if you have a Wal-Mart Superstore, look for their large spice bottles for $.50 each instead of paying for name brands. If not, go to the local dollar store to buy yur spices.

And a disclaimer: prices vary so much from store to store and then when you take into account different regions of the country, well, this iddn’t no exact science. I’m ballparkin’ figures here and I believe

the package. Again, budget food does not usually come in single servings.

3. That said, I didn’t totally cheap out on ya! I could have put ramen noodles on the menu every night and we could have eaten for a dollar a day! But you can’t live healthy on ramen – it’s crap in a bag, Girls, pardon my French! As always,

NEWSFLASH: You can't

eat fancy foods on $5 a day! you can get mighty close to the total amount regardless of where you live, as long as you shop smart.

2. Surely notice a little repetition in these menus and that there aren’t too many fancy foods on them. Newsflash: You can’t eat fancy foods on $5 a day. And if yur just feeding yurself, well, you’ve got to have a little repetition to use all the food that was in

I’m learnin’ ya how to cook healthy, so you’ll see whole wheat flour and brown sugar, not their adulterated white versions! I sure hope you’ll give this healthy eatin’ thing a fair shake – I just know you can learn to love what’s good for ya.

$55 starting kit Salt* Pepper* Ginger Cinnamon* Basil Oregano Cumin* Brown sugar* Molasses* Baking powder* Baking soda* Whole wheat flour* Vanilla* Mayonnaise Pesto Bullion Cubes (chicken and beef)* Lemon juice Jalapeno peppers* Olive oil Balsamic vinegar Soy sauce* Worcestershire sauce* Apple cider vinegar* Canola Oil* Cooking spray BBQ sauce

$2 $1 $2 $1 $1 $1 $1 $2 $2 $2.50 $1 $3 $2 $2 $3 $2 each $2 $2 $5 $3 $3 $2 $1 $3 $3 $1

If there is any money left over, buy: Parmesan cheese $2.50 Box of crackers $2.50

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o Reba Ray´s down home healthy cookin’ for one on a budget

Day 1 BREAKFAST: Apple Oatmeal (add ¼ c. applesauce to a serving of oatmeal with brown sugar or molasses) lunch: Grilled Cheese Tomato Sandwich (2 oz. cheese, bread, ½ sliced tomato) snack: Baked Tortilla Chips w/cheese (1 oz. cheese, cut 3 tortillas, sprayed) dinner: Turkey Sausage, Rice and peas (1/4 lb. sausage, ½ c. uncooked rice, 1 c. peas) desert: Three Oatmeal Cookies

Day 2 BREAKFAST: Two scrambled eggs w/toast lunch: Fried Rice snack: Apple Sauce (1/2c.) dinner: Black Bean Tacos (sub Jack cheese for feta in my recipe) desert: Three Oatmeal Cookies

Day 3 BREAKFAST: Apple Oatmeal lunch: Two-egg Salad Sandwich (or 2-scrambled egg sandwich) snack: Apple Sauce dinner: Celery Soup (chicken bullion, ¼ lb. turkey sausage) w/ cheese toast (2 oz. cheese) desert: Three Oatmeal Cookies

Day 4 BREAKFAST: Breakfast Tacos (3 corn tortillas, 1 oz. shredded jack cheese and 2 scrambled eggs, jalapeños) lunch: Black bean soup w/ tortilla strip croutons (beef bullion, cumin, jalapeño, black

beans with liquid, one stick sautéed celery)

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snack: Celery sticks dinner: Two eggs and rice (1 oz. cheese, mix cooked eggs and rice together, add soy sauce if you want) desert: Three Oatmeal Cookies

Shopping List for the first 4-day Menu - Can of Black beans - Corn tortillas - 1 Roma tomato - 8 oz Jack cheese - Old fashioned oats - Dozen Eggs - Loaf of bread - Jar of apple sauce - Bag of Rice - Frozen peas - Turkey smoked sausage - Celery

$.75 $1.50 $.50 $2 $2 $1.20 $2 $1 $.75 $1 $2 $1.50

Now, I don’t have all day to hold yur hand through how to make ever’ dern one of these dishes. You read the recipes on the packages, use yur imagination or check a cookbook out from the library if you don’t know what to do with the ingredients. And if the menu item has a hyperlink in it, that means you can find detailed instructions on how to prepare said dish on the Reba Ray page at www.

OnMyOwnNow.com. Be sure to look over the menu from top to bottom so you can get an idea of how long each food is supposed to last you. In most cases, I’m counting on yur self-restraint to eat just one serving (oatmeal, applesauce).

Some of these ingredients actually carry over to the next 4-day menu. Speaking of which… Be sure to check out Single!

Young Christian Woman next month to get the next 4-day Menu!

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Dear Gabby

by

ter

s Gab

dear gabby: My parents divorced when I was 12. For the past five years, neither of them has seriously dated anyone. And although seeing my parents go on

dates with other people was a little weird at first, I’ve gotten used to it.

Now however, my mom's getting really serious about a guy she’s been dating for four months. I know if I told this to anyone else, I would be

accused of secretly wishing my parents would get back together – which

of course is true – but aside from that, I think there’s something creepy about this guy. I get this totally weird vibe off of him and I’m a little

freaked by the thought of him becoming part of my family. I don’t know if I should tell my mother this or keep it to myself. It’s making me sick inside! What should I do?

- Ticking Time Bomb in Toledo

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“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?.”

Dear Ticking..., Gabby knows exactly what you are talking about.

So don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you “you know what.” Instead, I am going to ask you about trust.

How much do you trust your mother? Enough to believe she would only select a mate who deep down under those Levis and polo shirts is a decent person? Do you trust her enough to discuss your concerns with her without fear of being dismissed?

And how about her trust in you? Does she trust your judgment? These are all questions you need to seriously consider before injecting yourself into your mother’s social life.

If you answered “no” to any of the above questions, you might want to consider what is off in your mother/daughter equation. An unbalanced relationship with someone we love could make us feel sick inside, truly. But, if you and your mother have an honest, safe, trusting relationship, then you know that it’s okay to share your feelings with her no matter what the subject. That’s what parents are for.

This doesn’t mean you get the right to torpedo her relationship, however. What it means is that you get to tell her your concerns and intuitions. That should open the conversation up to a comfortable volley that allows your mother to express herself, as well.

Maybe she shares some of your feelings and just needs another person to articulate them for her.

But watch out for foul balls. What passes between you and your mother is not something you get to discuss with your father. That would be completely out of bounds and destructive to the trust you and your mother share. However, if, after sharing your concerns with your mother, you honestly do find her beau’s behavior off-color and your mother does not address it, then I think it would be appropriate to confide in your father.

Psalm 56:3-4

If Gabby’s everyday math is correct, you are 17 – probably old enough to have experienced some romantic dramas of your own. Think about how you or your friends have received relationship criticism – and plan the approach to your mother using the golden rule. Heart/head is a complex fraction.

Sometimes we need time to sort it out on our own.

Sometimes a little help is OK too.

Now, Gabby’s final question to you is this, Ticking: Do you trust God? If you can honestly answer “yes” to this question, then certainly the best thing to do would be to turn this care over to the Lord. Pray to Him for peace and guidance and patience. Pray that there will be an opportunity to share your feelings with your mother and that she’ll be receptive.

Pray that if this relationship is not in your mother’s best interest, that God will not allow it to lead to marriage. Pray a hedge of protection around your mother. And you can even pray that your parents get back together – God probably shares that desire as well. Pray and then don’t doubt or worry – believe that God will take the matter in hand and use all things to work to your good. And among all these petitions, don’t forget to thank God for the blessing of two loving parents.

- Gabster

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K

Spare Change

Good Clean Fun at Least Once a Month

by Paola Segnini

I realize this article is

probably long overdue.

I have written column after column about how you should check your budget for this and that but I’ve never written about building a good budget. Better late than sorry, right? Here’s my advice for building and following a great budget.

First things first Figure out what’s coming in and how it’s going out. Write down under a header called “income” how much money you make. Be sure you include all of the money that

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60

% solution

you know how much money you spend, now let’s talk about the best possible way to distribute your income – it’s called the 60% Solution.

This method was created by RichNext, under a header called “ex- ard Jenkins, editor-in-chief of MSN penses,” list all your expenses. This Money, and it’s used by financial is going to take a little while because advisors everywhere. According to you need to think of absolutely ev- this method, you need to keep your erything. Common categories will include tithes and offering, housing, loan payments, utilities, insurance, credit card payments, food and entertainment, but you also need to include the little things like those pesky vending machine runs during your coffee break, the mad dash to the Red box and Friday late night pizza calls. Once you’re positive you’ve got it all down, subtotal the expenses then subtract expenses from income. I hope you ended up with a positive number! Even if you did, it might not be as positive as you think. comes in, not just from your day job. For example, if you babysit a couple of times a month include it.

Now subtotal income.

Now comes the fun part! You know how much money you bring in,

“At this point, my readers will be having one of two reactions: either nodding in contemplation, or alternating between hysterical laughter and tears.”

K committed expenses at or below 60% of your gross income to be on the right financial track. Your committed expenses include basic food and clothing, essential household expenses, insurance premiums, charitable contributions, and all of your bills and taxes. The remaining 40% should be directed like this: 10% retirement savings, 10% longterm savings, 10% short-term savings for irregular expenses (emergencies, repairs, new appliances, gifts – you get the idea!), and 10% for entertainment and vacations.

At this point, my readers will be having one of two reactions: either nodding in contemplation, or alternating between hysterical laughter and tears. Sadly, a lot of people have gotten into debt right off the bat in their adult lives. Cars, student loans, credit cards, rental furniture and even luxuries we cannot afford like premium cookware can put us in an impossible budget situation before we even sit down to make our first budget.

If this is you, analyze your spending habits and decide how you can either cut back on expenses or increase income, or perhaps a combination of both. If you have a lot of debt, chances are the 30% that is supposed to be going to savings of various types is all going to pay debt. Understand you are cheating your tomorrow with your desperation of yesterday. Time to stop that madness and get the debt paid off once and for all, and start putting money in savings that will ensure you stay out of debt when those special occasions and unexpected expenses come your way – which they will, on that you can budget!

And the fun never ends!

Guess what – you need to do this every month. There’s the budget template, which is what you made to begin with, and then there’s the living, breathing, month-by-month budget that changes with the seasons (higher electricity bills in the summer) and the times (Mom’s 60th birthday party). Tricks to keep yourself on track include writing down your expenses, reconciling your checkbook monthly and having yet another time once a month where you sit down to pay bills and

“Budgeting is like dieting. For me, neither is fun. I’d love to splurge both in my spending and eating habits, but that’s not sensible. ”

clothes and other expenses as you think of them, so when the month comes around where these unusual expenses fall, you’ll be sure to include them in your budget.

Budgeting is like dieting. For me, neither is fun. I’d love to splurge both in my spending and eating habits, but that’s not sensible. I know better than that. The grown up thing to do is spend smart. So start today by getting the numbers down on paper just to see where you stand. And if it’s not pretty, do the tough analytical work to determine a solution – either by decreasing spending or increasing income.

Then, live the budget. Expect set backs, and don’t get down on yourself when it happens. Persevere if you mess up.

Remember that even if this is no fun, a hefty savings account and no debt feels way better than the sleepless nights worrying about collection agencies, creditors and bankruptcy. For a gal just starting life on her own, getting off on the right foot is essential to a long, regretfree life.

make sure you’re on target with your spending and income goals for the month. Also think ahead by writing down in your planner or calendar birthdays, trips, winter

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Fashi on DIVinA

Fore I bet you own a pair of blue jeans, am I right? Even conservative skirt wearers probably have a few versions in denim, or is it jean? According to Levi Strauss and Co., denim and jean were two different fabrics when they first hit the mills in early America (George Washington’s day). But somewhere between that time and shortly after the California Gold Rush – and the quick success of Levi Strauss – jeans and denim blended together to make a worldwide sensation that, whatever the current fads, is always in style.

ing industry would thrive, out came flared jeans on the catwalk and it was time to retire the skinny jeans. After a few years, it seemed futile to hold on to them anymore – gals probably thought, “These will never come back.” Well, never say never in the fashion industry. As you know, they’re back. And although I have to admit it took me some time to warm up to them, I love me some skinny jeans now!

I find it hard to believe that I even need to say this, but every girl needs a pair of jeans. If you don’t wear them for spiritual reasons, ignore me and go on to the next article – and good for you! But if you wear pants and you don’t own jeans, what’s the deal? Jeans are truly an American phenomenon, and therefore, not owning a pair of jeans is, well, un-American. And if you don’t own jeans, what are you wearing? Corduroys? Ech! So 70s! Lose them!

are you wearing? Corduroys? Ech!

In our ultra-casual society, jeans are not only essential, they go with anything, anywhere. People are even getting married in jeans (though that’s where I draw the line). Denim blue jeans are my best friend when it comes to putting outfits together and I could never buy enough of them.

And until just about two years ago, nobody else could either because the fricking-fracking fashion industry kept changing the leg shape on us! Skinny jeans were the thing (remember stirrup pants?) in the mid 1990s. Then, as if to ensure that the cloth-

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And if you don’t own jeans, what So 70s! Lose them!

This is a great time to be a jean lover because now, for reasons I still can’t figure out, every cut of pant leg seems to be acceptable. On the same rack you can find big bell bottoms to skinny jeans. It’s great.

So if you’re looking for a sporty, casual look, go with some flair to your jeans – something loose and relaxed. For business casual, try a boot cut.

And for that formal, dress-to-impress occasion, there’s the straight leg or skinny jean. The shade of blue is also important in making the right statement. Lighter, washed-out jeans will work in casual environments, indigo for business casual and get those knock-out skinny jeans in dark blue or even black.

ever in Blue Jeans

by Gwen Schumaker

Disclaimer: I know skinny jeans aren’t for everyone. Some of us just don’t have the skinny jean shape (whatever that is!). That’s OK, get yourself a dark blue pair of boot legs and throw on a silk shirt and you’re ready for that important occasion.

Even if you’re blessed with a body that befriends any jeans, some are simply not as attractive as others. I’m talking about the big, baggy variety here.

What are you hiding under those? A mini fridge?

I’m not a big fan of overly baggy jeans.

You probably have a favorite pair of jeans already, so let’s cover a few tips to keep you looking your best in them. First, I have to ask, are they long enough? If they are capris or supposed to be short, well, OK. But if the are just a little shy of touching the floor with shoes on, they are too short. I hate to break your heart, but those favorite jeans don’t love you as much as you love them. You’ve got to get the right length working for you! If you’re tall or just one of those figures that the fashion world didn’t contemplate in their sizing structure, I can suggest two things: special order for the size you really need – try ordering over the phone if you know exactly what you need but just can’t find it in stores. Don’t waste valuable time surfing the Internet, pick your online store and then pick up the phone. The other suggestion is to find a good tailor. Look in the yellow pages or even ask some older ladies you know if any of them sew, buy larger and longer and then have them taken in. I also found an interesting service called Zafu, which has a three-minute questionnaire that will supposedly

help identify the perfect jeans for you. The questions got to the heart of what makes me hard to fit in jeans, but to learn which jeans were right for me (there were 11 pairs out there!) I would have had to pay $19.95. If you’re really hard to fit, that might be $20 bucks well spent.

Next, don’t tuck in your shirt, unless you enjoy looking like an icon of the 80s (one of the worst decades for fashion). Guys who might be reading this – that goes for you too (Dad). Keep the clothes flowing from shoulder to toe – please, no abrupt interjections along the waist line!

For almost any occasion, jeans are an option, and though my closet is full of them, I do find myself wanting a bit of variety every once in a while – some black pants, white or khaki. That wanting doesn’t last long though – the next day I’m back to forever in blue jeans.

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Just What You

Facebook is awesome, I’ll be the first to admit it. Although some of my friends are prone to giving TMI, it’s the neatest thing since sliced bread to be able to peak in on how 120 of my closest friends are doing in Mafia Wars on any given day. Sarcasm aside, I really am grateful to FB for reconnecting me with some old friends. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I met up with my three best friends from high school – something that probably would not have come to pass if not for Facebook.

So FB is essential for keeping in touch with old friends, but have you noticed that it’s not the easiest forum to make new friends? Oh sure, I can add friends to my heart’s content, but I don’t really get to know any of them any better than I knew them before I added them. So, if they were total strangers to me when I added them as friends, now they’re total strangers whose accomplishments on Farmville I’m well aware of.

For making new friends, I recommend more intimate social networking sites such as Grounded and Christian Nation. Both of these sites share some commonalities: First, they are both powered by Ning, a social networking program that is big on discussion and interaction among all members. Ning is no FB, it’s a huge collection of intimate social networks around topics. In fact, there are dozens of Christian social networks, I’m just sharing about two with which I have had some personal experience. Browse NIng’s selection of other social networks to find like-minded rat lovers, knitters and diva sports commentators, among others. As usual, browser beware because some of these social networks are off-color. Unlike groups on FB, Ning groups are active and very social.

Secondly, both Grounded and Christian Nation are relatively small groups with less than 2,000 members, and both are all about Christian living. If you’ve not got a friend in the world, you can find a friend on one of these sites. I’ve been a member at Christian Nation for quite a while and I have to say that I am

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friends BUT KEEP

THE OLD genuinely impressed with the level of Christian commitment of the members I’ve interacted with. And it’s very easy to get to know people – it’s more like chat in that regard than FB is.

So if you’re lonely tonight, don’t rot in front of the boob tube or start browsing eHarmony (no, I did not make that a hotlink!), reach out for friendship with other women and men of faith.