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)) (OSPITALITY IN 0ASTORAL #ARE 2OBERT (ENREY !BSTRACT 2ESPONDING TO &R DE "£THUNE S ESSAY ON SPIRITUAL HOSPITALITY THE AUTHOR A DEACON AND HOSPITAL CHAPLAIN GIVES AN ACCOUNT OF HIS EXPERIENCE AS A SPIRITUAL CAREGIVER IN A LARGE HOSPITAL (E DESCRIBES THE ACT OF APPROACHING AND LISTENING TO THE DYING AND THE BEREAVED AS AN ACT OF GIVING AND RECEIVING HOSPITALITY WHICH IS NECESSARY TO hFOSTER THE COMMUNAL SPACE WITHIN WHICH THE ENCOUNTER SO ESSENTIAL TO HUMAN AWARENESS OF THE DIVINE CAN ACTUALLY TAKE PLACE v

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OSPITALITY REQUIRES EXEMPLARY OPENNESS 4HIS OPENNESS IS PRES ENT WHEN AN INVITATION IS FREELY GIVEN AND FREELY ACCEPTED AND WHEN THERE IS A WILLINGNESS ON THE PART OF BOTH HOST AND GUEST TO RESPECT EACH OTHER S TRADITIONS AND BELIEFS UNCONDITIONALLY 4RUST AND THE RISKS THAT BOTH HOST AND GUEST UNAVOIDABLY ASSUME AS PART OF THE PROCESS OF BUILDING IT ARE OF COURSE THE ESSENTIAL INGREDIENTS OF GENUINE HOSPITALITY !S &R 0IERRE &RAN½OIS DE "£THUNE HAS ARGUED IT IS ONLY WITHIN THE SPACE CREATED BY THE GIVING AND ACCEPTING OF HOSPITALITY THAT DIALOGUE AND CONVER SIONˆCONVERSION IN THE SENSE OF hCHANGE OF HEARTv AS OPPOSED TO THE FAR NARROWER DEl NITION THAT IMPLIES SUDDEN ACCEPTANCE OF A SET OF DOGMATIC BELIEFSˆCAN OCCUR 7HEN ) EVENTUALLY MET &R DE "£THUNE AT THE INVITATION OF "UDDHIST FRIENDS ) HAD ALREADY READ TWO OF HIS RECENT WRITINGS ON THE SUBJECTS OF HOS PITALITY AND CONVERSION ) QUICKLY REALIZED WHAT ) ALREADY SUSPECTED NAMELY THAT HIS REMARKABLE ABILITY TO EXPRESS SUCH IDEAS WAS ROOTED IN A DEEPLY SPIRITUAL PERSONALITY -EETING &R DE "£THUNE INSPIRED ME TO REm ECT ON MY OWN EXPERIENCE OF HOSPITALITY )T OCCURRED TO ME l RST THAT THE PRINCIPLES UNDERLYING HOSPITALITY ARE APPLICABLE TO A WIDE RANGE OF HUMAN INTERAC TIONS !S A BUSINESSMANˆMY CAREER HAD SPANNED BANKING AND l NANCIAL CONSULTINGˆ) WAS OF COURSE WELL AWARE OF THE REALITY THAT SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPS AND EVEN DEAL MAKING OFTEN REST ON THE ABILITY OF INDIVIDUALS TO USE HOSPITALITY AS A MEANS OF BUILDING UP OVER TIME THE PREREQUISITE LEVEL OF TRUST (ENCE THE IMPORTANCE OF BUSINESS LUNCHES DINNERS GAMES OF GOLF AND hBUSINESS ENTERTAINMENTv IN ALL ITS VARIED FORMS >HHJ: D8ID7:G

2OBERT (ENREY

) HAD SPENT PART OF MY CAREER BASED IN 3INGAPORE AND WAS THEREFORE WELL AWARE TOO OF THE GREAT VALUE PLACED ON SUCH RELATIONSHIP BUILDING WITHIN !SIAN CULTURES ESPECIALLY IN *APAN AND #HINA ) HAD BEEN MUCH IMPRESSED

BY THE EMPHASIS PLACED BY THE *APANESE ON DAILY RITUALS DESIGNED TO EASE WHAT WAS OPENLY RECOGNIZED AS BEING ONE OF THE GREAT CHALLENGES OF SOCIAL INTERACTIONS NAMELY THE CONFUSION AND PAIN HUMANS TYPICALLY EXPERIENCE IN THEIR ATTEMPTS TO RELATE TO EACH OTHER (ENCE THE DESIRABILITY OF CONTAINING EMOTIONS WITHIN THE BOUNDS ASSIGNED TO THEM BY DEVELOPING DETAILED SOCIAL RULES AND CONVENTIONS TO FACILITATE COMMUNICATION WITHIN STRUCTURED AND PREDICTABLE BOUNDARIES (OSPITALITY CLEARLY PLAYS A MAJOR ROLE IN THIS PROCESS AS A MEANS OF BUILDING UP OF TRUSTˆTRUST IN THE SENSE OF SOME DEGREE OF ASSURANCE THAT THOSE WITH WHOM AN INTERACTION HAS OCCURRED CAN BE RELIED ON TO BEHAVE WITHIN THE LIMITS OF MUTUALLY ACCEPTABLE NORMS 7ELL AND GOOD BUT &R DE "£THUNE S VIEWS CHALLENGED ME TO THINK BE YOND THAT PARTICULAR EXPERIENCE OF HOSPITALITY IMPORTANT AS IT IS IN FACILI TATING THE EXCHANGE OF GOODS AND IDEAS ) REALIZED THAT ) WAS NOW ENGAGED IN OFFERING AND RECEIVING HOSPITALITY IN A RELATED BUT SOMEWHAT DIFFERENT FORM (AVING RETIRED FROM MY BUSINESS CAREER ) HAVE FOUND TIME TO PURSUE A LONGSTANDING INTEREST IN THE PASTORAL CARE OF THE SICK 4HIS CHANGE IN CA REER REQUIRED INTENSE TRAINING WHICH IN MY OWN CASE CONSISTED OF CLINICAL WORK IN VARIOUS HOSPITALS OVER A TWO YEAR PERIOD VISITING PATIENTS SHARING OF EXPERIENCES WITH FELLOW STUDENTS AND REm ECTION WITH AND SUPERVISION

BY EXPERIENCED CHAPLAINS 4HE TRAINING TOOK PLACE WITHIN AN INTERRELIGIOUS FRAMEWORK THE TRAINEES INCLUDED #HRISTIANS OF VARIOUS DENOMINATIONS *EWS

"UDDHISTS AND FOLLOWERS OF )SLAM AND WE WERE INVITED TO VISIT EVERYONE

EVEN MEN AND WOMEN WITH NO PARTICULAR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS 7HILE PASTORAL CARE OF THE SICKˆOR SPIRITUAL CARE OF THE SICK AS IT IS MORE AND MORE FREQUENTLY CALLEDˆDEl ES EASY DEl NITION IT IS HELPFUL TO MENTION SOME OF ITS GUIDING PRINCIPLES 4HE PURPOSE IS NOT PRIMARILY TO COUNSEL OR TO COMMUNICATE POTENTIALLY HELPFUL INFORMATION STILL LESS TO PERSUADE OR ATTEMPT TO INm UENCE A PERSON S OPINION 1UITE THE CONTRARY THE PURPOSE IS TO SUPPORT THOSE FACING UNANTICIPATED DIFl CULTIES IN THEIR OWN SEARCH FOR HOPE AND MEANING IN THE MIDST OF PAIN CONFUSION AND LOSS 4HE CHAPLAIN

OR SPIRITUAL CAREGIVER ATTEMPTS TO DO THIS BY BEING AN EMPATHETIC LISTENER

THEREBY PROVIDING THE PERSON IN NEED WITH AN OPPORTUNITY TO VOICE HIS OR HER FEELINGS ,ISTENING ) HAVE COME TO BELIEVE IS AN ACTIVITYˆTHERE IS NOTHING PAS SIVE ABOUT ITˆTHAT REQUIRES THE LISTENER TO SET ASIDE HIS OR HER OWN AGENDA AND BECOME AS OPEN AND AVAILABLE AS POSSIBLE 7HEN RELIGIOUS LANGUAGE IS USED TO DESCRIBE LISTENING IT CAN WELL BE LIKENED TO A FORM OF PRAYERˆ PERHAPS THE VERY ESSENCE OF PRAYERˆOR AS AN ATTEMPT TO STRIP ONESELF BARE

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OF THE NUMEROUS SELF CENTERED DISTRACTIONS THAT IMPEDE THE DEVELOPMENT OF CLOSENESS TO THE OTHER !NOTHER ASPECT OF LISTENING ONE THAT STRIKES ME AS PROFOUNDLY SPIRI TUAL TOUCHES ON THE ESSENCE OF WHAT IT IS FOR HUMAN BEINGS TO RELATE TO EACH OTHER 4HE EXPERIENCE OF ALL MAJOR RELIGIONS IS THAT THE FAITH AND THE HOPE THAT ARE FUNDAMENTAL TO SPIRITUALITY CANNOT BE FULLY LIVED OUT IN THE TOTAL ABSENCE OF COMMUNITY 7ITHOUT THE COMPLEMENT OF A COMMUNAL DIMENSION INDIVIDUAL ATTEMPTS TO EXPERIENCE THE LIFE OF THE SPIRIT WILL EVENTUALLY FOUNDER )T IS HOSPITALITY THAT CAN ,ISTENING CAN BE FOSTER THE COMMUNAL SPACE WITHIN WHICH THE ENCOUNTER SO ESSENTIAL TO HUMAN AWARENESS OF THE DIVINE CAN ACTUALLY LIKENED TO A FORM TAKE PLACE /NE OF MY SUPERVISORS WHILE ) WAS TRAINING TO BE CHAPLAIN OFTEN REMINDED ME AND MY FELLOW TRAINEES OF PRAYER THAT GOOD PASTORAL CARE REQUIRES SUCH A SPACEÂ&#x2C6;HALLOWED GROUND AS IT WEREÂ&#x2C6;WITHIN WHICH HUMANS CAN INTERACT /THERWISE A VISIT MADE TO ONE WHO IS SICK OR IN NEED IS MERELY SOCIAL THERE IS NO CHANCE THAT ANYTHING THAT IS SPIRITUALLY TRANSFORMATIVE WILL OCCUR )T IS UP TO THE CHAPLAIN TO BUILD A COMMUNAL SPACE AND SINCE NO TWO VISITS ARE ALIKE THIS TASK CONFRONTS THE CHAPLAIN OVER AND OVER AGAIN -Y SUPERVISOR LIKED TO SAY THAT THE PATIENT IS AN ISLAND AND SPIRITUAL CAREGIVERS ARE ON THE HIGH SEAS HANGING ON TO WHATEVER BOAT CHANCE HAS BOUGHT THEIR WAY 4HEIR JOB IS TO LAND ON THE ISLAND 7HEN WE STUDENTS EXPERIENCED ONE OF THOSE BRIEF PERFUNCTORY VISITS IN WHICH A PATIENT SMUGLY INFORMS THE CHAPLAIN THAT EVERYTHING WAS JUST l NE AND THAT THERE WAS NOTHING FOR US TO DO OTHER THAN LEAVE THE ROOM IN A HURRY OUR SUPERVISOR WOULD SAY h7ELL

YOU DIDN T LAND ON THE ISLAND DID YOU v 3HE USED THE METAPHOR OF THE BOAT AND THE ISLAND TO INVITE US TO REm ECT ON OUR OWN STATE OF MIND AND ON THE PATIENT S EMOTIONAL STATE AT THE MO MENT THAT WE ENTERED A PATIENT S ROOM 7ERE WE IN A ROWBOAT OR WERE WE ATTEMPTING TO MAKE THE LANDING WITH A BATTLESHIP $ID SHARP ROCKS PROTECT THE ISLAND FROM INTRUDERS OR DID INVITING SANDY BEACHES SURROUND IT h"E CAREFUL OF THE SANDY BEACHES v SHE WOULD ADD h9OU MIGHT FALL ASLEEP OR FAIL TO NOTICE THE QUICKSAND BEYOND v 3HE BID US TO REMEMBER THAT THE ISLAND BELONGS TO THE PATIENT AND THAT WE ARE INTRUDERS 4HE PATIENT WILL GIVE AN INTRUDER THE BENEl T OF THE DOUBT DURING THE l RST COUPLE OF MINUTES )F WE ARE LUCKY THE PATIENT WILL BE A HOST TO US AND INVITE US TO SIT DOWN 4HEN IT WILL BE UP TO US TO DO WHAT GOOD GUESTS DO WHICH IS TO LISTEN TO THEIR HOST !ND ALTHOUGH OUR BEING TOTAL STRANGERS WILL MAKE IT DIFl CULT TO LAND ON THE ISLAND STRANGERS MAKE THE BEST LISTENERS ! CASE IN POINT IS THE STORY OF THE TWO DISCIPLES ENCOUNTER WITH #HRIST ON THE ROAD TO %MMAUS 4HE DISCIPLES THOUGHT THEY WERE WALKING BESIDE A STRANGER BUT WHEN THEY OFFERED HIM >HHJ: D8ID7:G

2OBERT (ENREY

HOSPITALITYÂ&#x2C6;A PLACE TO STAY AND A MEAL TO SHAREÂ&#x2C6;THEIR EYES WERE OPENED

THEY RECOGNIZED HIM AND FEAR AND ANXIETY GAVE WAY TO HOPE ) HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FASCINATED BY WORDS ESPECIALLY BY THE STORIES OF HOW THEY HAVE COME DOWN TO US OVER THE COURSE OF SUCCESSIVE GENERATIONS 7HEN &R DE "£THUNE SPEAKS OF HOSPITALITY HE DELIGHTS IN TELLING THE STORY BEHIND THE WORD (OST AND T GUESTT ARE THOSE WHO PRACTICE HOSPITALITY AND ALL THREE WORDS HAVE A COMMON ETYMOLOGYÂ&#x2C6;COMMON TO THE POINT THAT THE

MEANINGS OF HOST AND T GUEST BECOME ALMOST INDISTINGUISHABLE T 7ITHIN THE SPACE CREATED BY HOSPITALITY EACH PERSON IS CALLED UPON TO BE BOTH GUEST AND HOST TO OTHER (OSPITAL L ANOTHER WORD SHARING THE SAME ETYMOLOGY BECOMES A SPACE WHERE HOST AND GUEST ARE INVITED TO WORK TOGETHER TO BRING ABOUT HEALING (OSPICE A WORD THAT IN THE EARLY HISTORY OF THE %NGLISH LANGUAGE HAD MUCH THE SAME MEANING AS HOSPITALÂ&#x2C6;A PLACE OF WELCOME FOR THE SICK AND THE DESTITUTEÂ&#x2C6;HAS BEEN BROUGHT BACK INTO CONTEMPORARY USAGE WITH THE SPECIl C MEANING OF A PLACE WHERE PALLIATIVE CARE IS PROVIDED BOTH TO THE DYING AND TO THOSE IN WHOSE COMPANY THEY WISH TO SPEND THEIR LAST DAYS 4HIS IS PERHAPS THE PUREST EXPRESSION OF HOSPITALITY T GUEST HAVE A COMMON ORIGIN THEY ALSO T .OT ONLY DO THE WORDS HOST AND SHARE THAT LINGUISTIC ROOT WITH HOSTILE HOSTILITY HOSTAGE AND EVEN HOST IN THE T SENSE OF A GREAT ARMY OF COMBATANTS 4HE FACT IS THAT HOSPITALITY IS A RISKY BUSINESS 4HE PERSON INVITED INTO A SPACE RISKS WALKING INTO A TRAP SET BY HIS ENEMY AND THE PERSON EXTENDING THE INVITATION RISKS LETTING A TRAITOR INTO HIS CAMP 4HE PARADOX IS AT THE VERY LEAST A REMINDER THAT IN ORDER FOR THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HOST AND GUEST TO BE GENUINE AND POTENTIALLY LIFE GIV ING EACH MUST BE WILLING TO ENGAGE THE OTHER IN A PROCESS THE OUTCOME OF WHICH IS UNCERTAIN AND MAY LEAD TO A CHANGE OF HEART 3UCH A RISK IS INHER ENT IN ANY SPIRITUAL ENCOUNTER IT REQUIRES BOTH OPENNESS AND A MEASURE OF COURAGE "UT BUILDING A SACRED SPACE CANNOT BE ACHIEVED WITHOUT ASSUMING RISK AND VULNERABILITY EVEN A CERTAIN EMOTIONAL NAKEDNESS AS &R DE "£THUNE SAYS IS AN ESSENTIAL ASPECT OF LIFE GIVING SPIRITUALITY -Y WORK AS A CHAPLAIN HAS LED ME TO MEDITATE MOST PARTICULARLY ON THE 'OSPEL STORY OF HOW *ESUS SENT HIS APOSTLES OUT ON MISSION (E SENT THEM OUT AS &R DE "£THUNE REMINDS US WITH STRICT INSTRUCTIONS THEY WERE TO CARRY NO MONEY BELT AND NO SPARE SHIRT 7HY SO 7AS IT IN ORDER THAT SUCH FRUGALITY MIGHT SERVE AS AN EXAMPLE TO OTHERS 0ERHAPS BUT ) SUBMIT THAT THE FAR GREATER PURPOSE WAS TO REMIND THEM THAT THEY WOULD ACHIEVE NOTHING OF LASTING VALUE IF THEY RELIED SOLELY ON THEIR OWN RESOURCES )NSTEAD HE ENJOINED THEM TO ACCEPT THE HOSPITALITY OF THOSE IN WHOSE MIDST THEY WERE SENT )F MISSION IN THE RELIGIOUS SENSE HAS TO DO WITH CONVERSION OF HEARTS RATHER THAN WITH THE FORCEFUL ASSERTION OF DOGMA THEN IT CAN ONLY OCCUR WITHIN THE SACRED SPACE CREATED THROUGH THE GIVING AND RECEIVING OF HOSPITALITY

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TOGETHER WITH THE ACCEPTANCE OF THE RISKS AND VULNERABILITIES IMPLIED IN SUCH GIVING AND RECEIVING *ESUS WENT FURTHER (E TOLD HIS DISCIPLES THAT WHEN THEY FOUND HOSPITALITY THEY SHOULD ACCEPT IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY AND EMBRACE THEIR ROLES AS GUESTS BY STAYING PUT AT LEAST FOR A WHILE 7HERE HOSPITALITY WAS NOT FORTHCOMING THEY WERE TO SHAKE THE DUST FROM THEIR SANDALS AND MOVE ON TO SOME OTHER PLACE FOR *ESUS IMPLIED IN THE ABSENCE OF WELCOME NOTHING TRANSFORMATIVE CAN BE ACCOMPLISHED THE GIVING AND RECEIVING OF PEACE AND OF HEALING ARE DEPENDENT ON HOSPITALITY 3EEN THROUGH THE LENS OF THIS STORY HOSPITALITY IS REVEALED AS THE VERY ESSENCE OF MISSION 2ECENTLY AS A GUEST AT A "UDDHIST MONASTERY IN "ERKELEY #ALIFORNIA ) WAS INVITED TO PARTAKE OF FOOD THAT WAS BROUGHT IN EACH DAY BY THOSE WHO SUPPORTED THE MONASTIC COMMUNITY ! PORTION OF THE MEAL WAS PLACED SYMBOLICALLY IN THE MONKS ALMS BOWLS AHEAD OF THE MEAL 4HIS GESTURE REPRESENTED IN RITUAL FORM THE TRUTH THAT WHAT THE MONKS WOULD EAT AT THAT MEAL WAS FOOD ENOUGH ONLY FOR THAT DAY AND THAT NOTHING SHOULD BE LAID IN STORE TO GUARD AGAINST THE CONTINGENCIES OF THE MORROW 4HE CHALLENGE IS TO TRUST THAT SOMEHOW THE MORROW WILL TAKE CARE OF ITSELF 4HE TRUSTING HAS A LOT TO DO WITH MAKING A SPACE WHERE THE SACRED WILL BE WELCOMED !S A CHAPLAIN BESIDES VISITING PATIENTS IN THEIR ROOMS AND HURRYING TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM IN RESPONSE TO A CALL FOR HELP ) ALSO VISIT MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE IN THE GRIP OF DRUG OR ALCOHOL ADDICTION AND SOMETIMES BOTH ) MEET THEM AS A GROUP IN A SMALL WHITE WALLED ROOM BEHIND A METAL DOOR WITH A RECTANGULAR GLASS SEE THROUGH PANEL 4HERE ) MEET TEENAGERS

BORED WIDOWS RETIRED COPS 7ALL 3TREET TRADERS BACK PAIN SUFFERERS WHO HAVE DRIFTED INTO DEPENDENCE ON PRESCRIPTION PAINKILLERS CONSTRUCTION WORKERS

HOMELESS MEN AND KINDERGARTEN TEACHERS !DDICTION HAS NO RESPECT FOR AGE OR FOR SOCIAL CLASS )T OCCURRED TO ME THAT &R DE "£THUNE S VISION OF HOSPITALITY MIGHT BE A POWERFUL LENS THROUGH WHICH ) COULD GIVE TRUER EXPRESSION TO WHAT HAP PENS INSIDE THAT SMALL ROOM 4O ME THE ROOM SEEMS LESS LIKE AN ISLAND THAN A BASE CAMP THAT PROVIDES TREKKERS WITH A BRIEF RESPITE AND THAT ATTEMPTS TO EQUIP AND PREPARE THEM TO CONTINUE THEIR UNCERTAIN JOURNEYS .O TWO JOURNEYS ARE ALIKE SOME OF THOSE ) MEET STILL HAVE HOMES TO GO BACK TO AND SUPPORTIVE SPOUSES CHILDREN AND PARENTS BUT FOR OTHERS THERE ARE IMAGES OF DESERTS OF TREACHEROUS SWAMPS AND OF STRUGGLES AGAINST FRIGHTENING ODDS 3OME ARE READY FOR THE JOURNEY BUT OTHERS ARE STILL BESET BY THE PHYSICAL PAIN OF DETOX OVERCOME BY THE DESIRE TO SLEEP WHILE OTHERS YET ARE INCLINED TO TALK TOO MUCH OR TO l DGET UNCONTROLLABLY UNABLE TO FOCUS THEIR MINDS ON ANYTHING AT ALL /FTEN THE GREATEST HINDRANCE ON THE WAY TOWARD HEALING IS RELUCTANCE TO FULLY COME TO TERMS WITH THE NEED FOR THE HELP WHICH IS SO ESSENTIAL TO COPING WITH THE UNFORGIVING NATURE OF ADDICTION >HHJ: D8ID7:G

2OBERT (ENREY

4O WHAT EXTENT DO THE RULES OF HOSPITALITY APPLY IN SUCH A SETTING )T WOULD BE ALL TOO EASY FOR ME TO SLIP INTO THE ROLE OF INSTRUCTOR RATHER THAN HOST 0ATIENTS IN A RECOVERY PROGRAM ARE COUNSELED AND GIVEN PLENTY OF AD VICE "UT ) HAVE NOT COME TO THAT ROOM TO GIVE ADVICE 1UITE THE CONTRARY ) AM THERE TO LISTEN TO THE MANY WAYS IN WHICH ADDICTION SHATTERS RELATION SHIPS AND REDUCES ITS VICTIMS TO UTTER MISERYÂ&#x2C6;INEXORABLY 3O ) ATTEMPT TO BE THE HOSTÂ&#x2C6;A HOST WHO INVITES EACH OF HIS GUESTS TO TELL 4HE SUFFERER INVITES THE SOMETHING ABOUT THE JOURNEY THAT HAS LED THEM TO THIS SMALL ROOM %VERYONE HAS A JOURNEY TO TELL AN %XODUS AN /DYSSEY OR A 0ILGRIM S 0ROGRESSÂ&#x2C6;ESPECIALLY ADDICTS FOR LISTENER TO PLUMB THE THEY ARE INDEED MEN AND WOMEN IN SEARCH OF MEANING AND PURPOSE A QUEST THAT NO DRUG CAN EVER FULLY SATISFY 4HE DEPTHS OF THE PIT TELLING WHEN OTHERS CAN BEAR TO HEAR WHAT IS BEING SAID

WILL HELP CREATE A SPACEÂ&#x2C6;A SHARED HOLY GROUNDÂ&#x2C6;WITHIN WHICH EACH PERSON CAN BEGIN THE HARD WORK OF COMING TO TERMS WITH WHO HE OR SHE REALLY IS "UT IT HAS BECOME INCREASINGLY APPARENT TO ME THAT A GOOD HOST MUST ALSO BE OPEN TO SLIPPING UNOBTRUSIVELY INTO THE ROLE OF GUEST ONE WHO ACCEPTS AN INVITATION TO LISTEN WHOLEHEARTEDLY TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING S STORY 'OOD HOSTS SHY AWAY FROM QUESTIONING THEIR GUESTS TOO CLOSELY FOR INTRUSIVE QUESTIONS ARE DESTRUCTIVE OF HOSPITABLE SPACE )NSTEAD GOOD HOSTS PASS OUT INVITATIONS h#AN YOU SHARE WITH US WHY THAT WAS SO DIFl CULT FOR YOU v h7HAT WAS IT THAT l NALLY CONVINCED YOU THAT YOU NEEDED HELP v h/F ALL THOSE DIFl CULTIES WHICH IS THE ONE THAT STANDS OUT AS BEING THE MOST PAINFUL FOR YOU TO DEAL WITH v 0ATIENTS IN RECOVERY OFTEN FEEL OVERWHELMED BY THE SHEER NUMBER OF PROBLEMS THEY FACEÂ&#x2C6;PROBLEMS THAT CAN NO LONGER BE HELD AT BAY BY THE AN AESTHETIZING EFFECT OF ALCOHOL AND DRUGS !N INVITATION TO DEAL WITH JUST ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME MAY SUGGEST A MORE EFFECTIVE AND LESS STRESSFUL APPROACH THAN AN ATTEMPT TO COPE WITH THE OVERALL SITUATION ALL AT ONCE ) HAVE ALSO COME TO REALIZE THAT FEELINGS OF LONELINESS ESTRANGEMENT AND ABANDONMENT ARE VERY MUCH PART OF WHAT WE EXPERIENCE WHEN WE ARE SERIOUSLY SICK OR WHEN SOME MISFORTUNE HAS BEFALLEN US ) MYSELF HAVE BEEN IN SUCH A PLACE IN WHICH ) SIMPLY COULD NOT VISUALIZE MOVING PAST MY GRIEF OR EVEN HAVING THE STRENGTH TO RISE ABOVE THE IMMEDIATE HORROR OF MY MISFORTUNE 4HE 0SALMS REFER TO THIS AS THE ANGUISH OF HAVING FALLEN INTO A DEEP PIT (OPE MAY STILL BE PRESENT BUT WE ARE NO LONGER AWARE OF IT WE FEEL THAT 'OD HAS APPARENTLY ABANDONED US 3UCH FEELINGS ARE CERTAINLY PRESENT IN ADDICTION AS IN OTHER MISFORTUNES AND THIS IS PERHAPS WHAT THOSE WHO ASPIRE TO RECOVERY REFER TO WHEN THEY SPEAK OF hHITTING BOTTOM v

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%MPATHY IMPLIES WILLINGNESS ON THE PART OF THE LISTENER TO RECOGNIZE THE REALITY OF THE EXPERIENCE OF HITTING BOTTOM AND TO REFRAIN FROM DENYING ITS EXISTENCE THROUGH RECOURSE TO SOOTHING WORDS 4HE SUFFERER IN EFFECT INVITES THE LISTENER TO PLUMB THE DEPTHS OF THE PITÂ&#x2C6;ONLY THEN WILL HE THE SUFFERER

BE OPEN TO THE SUGGESTION THAT THERE MAY IN FACT BE A PATH CAPABLE OF GRADU ALLY LEADING HIM BACK OUT OF THE SHADOW OF THE SEEMINGLY BOTTOMLESS PIT AND INTO THE LIGHT OF HOPE )T IS NECESSARY FOR THE LISTENER TO l RST SEEK OUT AND ACCEPT THE SUFFERER S INVITATION ONLY THEN WILL HE BE ABLE TO STRETCH OUT A HOSPITABLE HAND %ACH OF US IS INDEED BOTH GUEST AND HOST 7HENEVER ) ACCEPT THE INVITATION TO LOOK DOWN INTO THE PIT ) AM HUMBLED AND AWED BY THE EXTENT OF THE SUFFERING WITHIN IT ) HAVE ALSO LEARNED THAT SUCH SUFFERING IS TRANSFORMATIVE IN THE SENSE THAT IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE A POWERFUL TEACHER WHICH WILL LEAD THE SUFFERER TO A FULLER EXPERIENCE OF THE HUMAN CONDITION ROOTED AS IT IS IN THE EVER PRESENT STRUGGLE WITH ANXIETY AND WITH THE SEARCH FOR MEANING AND PURPOSE 4HIS MAY SEEM AT ODDS WITH MOST PEOPLE S EXPERIENCE OF INTENSE PHYSICAL PAIN OR EMOTIONAL DESPAIR SINCE UNRELIEVED PAIN AND DESPAIR TEND TO ISOLATE AND ROB THE SUFFERER OF THE ABILITY TO RELATE TO OTHERS THUS DIMINISHING THE CAPACITY FOR SPIRITUAL AWARENESS .ONETHELESS ) OFTEN l ND MYSELF SUGGEST ING TO RECOVERY PATIENTS THAT DESPITE THE INTENSITY AND UNWELCOME NATURE OF THEIR PAIN IT IS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE USED TO BRING ABOUT A HEIGHTENED UNDERSTANDING THAT MIGHT NOT OTHERWISE BE THEIRS 0ERHAPS THE LISTENER S MOST IMPORTANT TASK IS TO INVITE THE SUFFERER TO USE THAT UNDERSTANDING TO SEEK OUT THE PATHS THAT LEAD FROM DESPAIR TO HOPE AND THENCE TO HEAL ING )T CAN BE USED AS A LENS THROUGH WHICH THE GOOD REMAINING WITHIN THE SUFFERER S LIFE CAN BE BROUGHT INTO FOCUS A GOOD THAT CAN BE NURTURED SO THAT IT GROWS INTO A LIFE SAVING REALITY -Y SENSE IS THAT THIS IS AN OP PORTUNITY FOR THAT CHANGE OF HEART OR CONVERSION WHICH IS AT THE ROOT OF TRUE HOSPITALITY h7HAT MIGHT BE THE BEST THING IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOWÂ&#x2C6;SOMEONE OR SOMETHING THAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU AND HAS MEANING FOR YOU ABOVE EVERY THING ELSE v h#AN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING YOU HAVE BECOME AWARE OF RECENTLY THAT MIGHT HELP YOU ON YOUR WAY TO SOBRIETY v h.O ONE WOULD EVER WISH TO GO THROUGH THE SUFFERING YOU HAVE EXPERI ENCED BUT CAN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING POSITIVE THAT HAS COME OUT OF IT v h#AN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING OR SOMEONE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL TRULY SPECIAL v h$O YOUR CHILDREN KNOW YOU ARE HERE $O YOU THINK THEY FEEL GOOD THAT YOU DECIDED TO COME IN HERE OF YOUR OWN ACCORD $O YOU THINK THEY ARE PROUD OF YOU FOR DOING THAT v >HHJ: D8ID7:G

2OBERT (ENREY

h)S THERE A LIGHT SHINING SOMEWHERE IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW EVEN IF IT S NO MORE THAN A GLIMMER v &INALLY THERE WILL BE AN INVITATION BY THE HOST TO VOICE WHAT EACH PER SON IN THE ROOM l NDS THE MOST DIFl CULT TO SAY OUT LOUD THAT IS TO STATE THE PRESSING NEEDS THAT WILL HAVE TO BE ADDRESSED IF THE JOURNEY THAT LIES IMMEDIATELY AHEAD IS TO HAVE SOME CHANCE OF EVENTUALLY LEADING TO LONG TERM SOBRIETY )T IS AT LEAST FOR ME A DIFl CULT QUESTION TO ASK FOR IT BRINGS WITH IT A VERY REAL POSSIBILITY OF REJECTION ANOTHER REMINDER THAT EXTENDING HOSPITALITY IS A RISKY BUSINESS h7HAT DO YOU NEED MOST AT THIS PARTICULAR TIME v 4HE QUESTION IS MOST OFTEN MET WITH SILENCE AND EVEN WITH EMBAR RASSMENT ) l ND MYSELF ASKING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN EMPHASIZING THAT IT IS INDEED AN INVITATION TO VOICE NEEDS THAT WILL GIVE OTHERS IN THE ROOM AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXPRESS THEIR CONCERN AND ADD THEIR SUPPORT ) HAVE BEEN HOSTING GROUPS FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND ) HOPE THAT ) HAVE BECOME NOT JUST A MORE CARING HOST BUT ALSO ONE WHO IS INCREASINGLY OPEN TO CONFRONTING HIS OWN HELPLESSNESS AND HIS OWN NEED FOR HEALING ) AM THEREFORE WELL AWARE OF THE FACT THAT IT IS FAR EASIER TO ASK FOR A CUREÂ&#x2C6;A GENERAL WISH TO HAVE SOMETHING TROUBLESOME REMOVED ONCE AND FOR ALLÂ&#x2C6;THAN IT IS TO SUMMON THE COURAGE NECESSARY TO STATE ALOUD THE NATURE OF THE VERY REAL OBSTACLES THAT STAND IN THE WAY OF HEALING (EALING AS OPPOSED TO CURE IS A JOURNEY FROM BROKENNESS TOWARD WHOLENESS )T IS THE BUSINESS OF EVERY HUMAN BE ING WHO IS FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE AWARE OF HIS SPIRITUAL IDENTITY AND OF THE LIFE GIVING NATURE OF THE STRUGGLE -UCH OF THE WISDOM REm ECTED IN !LCOHOLICS !NONYMOUS S 4WELVE 3TEP APPROACH RESTS ON RECOGNIZING THAT WHILE THERE IS NO REAL CURE FOR ADDICTION AND THAT HEALING IS A LIFELONG COMMITMENT IN SEARCH OF WHOLENESS THE OVER ARCHING EMPHASIS OF THE INDIVIDUAL S JOURNEY SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON GETTING THROUGH THE DAY AND NOT ALLOWING THE HUMAN SPIRIT TO BE BOWED DOWN BY THE FACT THAT THE STRUGGLE TO REMAIN SOBER WILL TO A LESSER OR GREATER EXTENT

BE PRESENT EACH SUCCEEDING DAY 4HE FOCUS ON THE PRESENT AS THE TIMEFRAME WITHIN WHICH TO CARRY OUT THE WORK OF HEALING IS REm ECTIVE OF A PROFOUNDLY SPIRITUAL TRUTH THAT IS ALSO AT THE ROOT OF TRUE HOSPITALITY FOR HOSPITALITY LIKE PRAYER IS AN INVITATION INTO THE REALITY OF THE PRESENT )T IS A RESPITE ACCORDED TO THE TRAVELER ) DO BELIEVE THAT OUR NEEDS AND THE ANXIETIES TO WHICH THEY ARE SO IN TIMATELY BOUND TO THE EXTENT THEY ARE UNSPOKEN REMAIN OBSTACLES TO OUR SANITY )T IS THROUGH THE VOICING OF OUR NEEDS THAT WE BEGIN TO RECOGNIZE THE VULNERABILITIES OF THE HUMAN JOURNEY /NLY THEN ARE WE ABLE TO ASK FORGIVE NESS FOR HARM INm ICTED ON OTHERS ACCEPT OUR DEPENDENCE ON THE LOVE OF OTHERS DARE TO EXPRESS THAT LOVE AND TO ACCEPT IT IN RETURN BE WILLING TO FACE

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(OSPITALITY IN 0ASTORAL #ARE

UP TO THE PHYSICAL DETERIORATION OF OUR BODIES TO THE FEAR OF DEATHÂ&#x2C6;OUR OWN AS WELL AS THAT OF OTHERSÂ&#x2C6;AND TO ALL THE OTHER CORROSIVE ANXIETIES THAT LIE IN WAIT ALONG THE WAY 4HIS PROCESS AS BECOMES READILY APPARENT UNDER LIES BOTH THE WORK OF HEALING AND OF CONVERSIONÂ&#x2C6;THE CHANGE OF HEART THAT BRINGS ABOUT TRUE FREEDOM 4HE BRINGING ABOUT OF THAT CHANGE OF HEART SHOULD OF COURSE BE THE TRUE PURPOSE OF MISSION 4HE ACTUAL PROCESS OF HEALING CAN ONLY TAKE PLACE WITHIN THE SACRED SPACE BROUGHT ABOUT BY OUR WILLINGNESS TO RECOGNIZE BOTH OUR VULNERABILI TIESÂ&#x2C6;THERE IS NO GIVING OR RECEIVING OF HOSPITALITY WITHOUT ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF THE NEED FOR THE SUSTENANCE THE RESPITE AND THE ENCOURAGEMENT SO ES SENTIAL TO THE CONTINUATION OF THE JOURNEYÂ&#x2C6;AND OUR UTTER DEPENDENCE ON INVITING INTO OUR LIVES LIFE GIVING RELATIONSHIPS )T IS NO ACCIDENT THAT !!

STRESSES THE IMPORTANCE OF MUTUAL SUPPORT INTERACTION WITHIN GROUPS AND THE ACCEPTANCE OF AN ULTIMATE REALITY A (IGHER 0OWER THAT NOT ONLY TRAN SCENDS THE BOUNDS OF THE HUMAN PERSON BUT ALSO ENTERS INTO A LIFE GIVING RELATIONSHIP WITH IT 4HE HOST STANDS READY TO HEAR THE GUEST S STORY AND THE GUEST BECOMES AWARE OF HIS TOTAL DEPENDENCE ON THE GIFTS OF HOSPITALITY FOR THE THINGS THAT HUMAN BEINGS NEED MOST FOR THEIR SURVIVALÂ&#x2C6;LOVE FRIENDSHIP AND CAR INGÂ&#x2C6;ARE INDEED GIFTS 7HEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE HOST AND GUEST BECOME ONE AND THE SAME BROUGHT TOGETHER BY THE EXCHANGE OF THOSE GIFTS s

.OTES ,UKE n 4HE WORD HOSTT IS BORROWED FROM /LD &RENCH OSTE HOSTE GUEST HOST IN TURN FROM E ,ATIN HOSPITEM 4HE )NDO %UROPEAN GHOSTI POTT HAS THE MEANING OF hTHE MASTER IN CHARGE OF THE STRANGERv COMPARE WITH ,ATIN HOSTIS STRANGER ENEMY AND IS THUS RELATED TO GUEST 4HE WORD GUEST IS PROBABLY A BORROWING FROM /LD )CELANDIC WHICH T REPLACED EARLIER AND SIMILAR /LD %NGLISH AND 'ERMANIC FORMS WITH )NDO %UROPEAN AND ,ATIN COGNATES AS NOTED WITH THE MEANINGS ALSO OF hSTRANGERv AND hENEMY v 3EE THE /XFORD %NGLISH $ICTIONARYY AND THE "ARNHART $ICTIONARY OF %TYMOLOGY .EW Y 9ORK ( 7 7ILSON

"EFORE THE SIXTEENTHTH CENTURY HOSPITALL MEANT A GUESTHOUSE OR A SHELTER FOR THE NEEDY 4HE WORD HOSTAGE DERIVES FROM THE /LD &RENCH E OSTAGE ORIGINALLY A LODGER HELD BY A LANDLORD AS SECURITY ,UKE n n -ATTHEW n -ARK n (ERE ARE A FEW EXAMPLES AMONG MANY 0SALM h/ ,ORD THOU HAST BROUGHT UP MY SOUL FROM 3HEOL RESTORED ME TO LIFE FROM AMONG THOSE GONE DOWN TO THE 0IT v 0SALM h(E DREW ME UP FROM THE DESOLATE PIT OUT OF THE MIRY BOG AND SET MY FEET UPON A ROCK v

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2OBERT (ENREY 0SALM h,ET NOT THE m OOD SWEEP OVER ME OR THE DEEP SWALLOW ME UP OR THE PIT CLOSE ITS MOUTH OVER ME v 0SALM h) AM RECKONED AMONG THOSE WHO GO DOWN TO THE 0IT ) AM A MAN WHO HAS NO STRENGTH v 4HE SCRIPTURAL QUOTES IN THIS AND THE FOLLOWING NOTES ARE TAKEN FROM THE 2EVISED 3TANDARD 6ERSION 4HE %NGLISH LANGUAGE ALLOWS FOR AN IMPORTANT DISTINCTION BETWEEN HEALINGG AND CURE 4HE WORD CURE E IS DIRECTLY DERIVED FROM THE ,ATIN CURA A AND CONSISTS OF THE MEDICAL TREATMENT OF A DISEASE OR OF A PATIENT 4HE AIM IS TO RESTORE THE PERSON TO FULL HEALTH 4HE WORD HEAL ON THE OTHER HAND HAS A 'ERMANIC ORIGIN THAT SPEAKS OF WHOLENESS )T IS TO MAKE WHOLE OR SOUND AND IT HAS WELL ESTABLISHED l GURATIVE MEANINGS AS IN TO RESTORE FROM SOME EVIL CONDITION OR AFFECTION AS SIN GRIEF

DISREPAIR UNWHOLESOMENESS DANGER DESTRUCTION AND ALSO TO SAVE PURIFY CLEANSE

REPAIR AND MEND #OMPARE 3AINT 0AUL S FAMOUS WORDS h!ND TO KEEP ME FROM BEING TOO ELATED BY THE ABUNDANCE OF REVELATIONS A THORN WAS GIVEN ME IN THE m ESH A MESSENGER OF 3ATAN

TO HARASS ME TO KEEP ME FROM BEING TOO ELATED 4HREE TIMES ) BESOUGHT THE ,ORD ABOUT THIS THAT IT SHOULD LEAVE ME BUT HE SAID TO ME @-Y GRACE IS SUFl CIENT FOR YOU

FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS #ORINTHIANS n 4HE 'REEK WORD METANOIA A +ยกo_ ikยกt TO BE MENTALLY AWARE WHEN IT APPEARS IN THE .EW 4ESTAMENT IS RENDERED AS EITHER REPENTANCEE OR CONVERSION )T IS GENERALLY AGREED THAT IT IMPLIES A CHANGE OF MINDย A CHALLENGE TO THE HUMAN PERSON TO ALLOW THE MIND TO BE TURNED TOWARD A HIGHER PERCEPTION OF REALITY HENCE A SOURCE OF FREEDOM AND SALVATION 3EE ,UKE h)F YOUR ;BROTHER= SINS AGAINST YOU SEVEN TIMES IN THE DAY AND TURNS TO YOU SEVEN TIMES AND SAYS @) REPENT YOU MUST FORGIVE HIM v 7HEN *ESUS SENDS HIS DISCIPLES OUT ON MISSION HE TYPICALLY INSTRUCTS THEM hTO PREACH THE KINGDOM OF 'OD AND TO HEALv ,UKE ย ANOTHER WAY OF EXPRESSING THE CALL TO CONVERSION

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