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4HREE 3PIRITUAL ,IVES

) h)S 4HERE !NYBODY 4HERE v 2Em ECTIONS ON THE h/THERv IN #HRISTIAN AND "UDDHIST 3PIRITUALITY 2EV -YO $ENIS ,AHEY !BSTRACT 4HE AUTHOR A #ATHOLIC BY BIRTH AND EDUCATION AND A :EN PRIEST BY TRAINING AND PROFESSION EXPLORES THE EXPERIENCE OF PRAYER AND THE CONCEPTS OF A DIVINE OTHER AS HE HAS ENCOUNTERED THEM IN EACH OF THE TWO TRADITIONS (E RELATES HIS STRUGGLE WITH THESE ISSUES DURING A RECENT RETREAT AT A #ATHOLIC MON ASTERY h7HAT IS PRIMARY v HE SAYS hIS THE PROFOUND AND INALIENABLE SPIRITUAL INHERITANCE EQUALLY BELONGING TO ALL OF US v 0REFACE

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HAVE FOR SOME YEARS BEEN UNABLE TO DECLARE MYSELF FOURSQUARE A "UD DHIST A #ATHOLIC OR FOR THAT MATTER MUCH OF ANYTHING ELSE SAVE PERHAPS WHERE REQUIREMENTS OF DREARIEST BUREAUCRACY MADE IT SIMPLER TO DO SO 4HIS MAKES ME A POOR TABLE COMPANION IN THE EYES OF THOSE WHO PREFER THEIR CATEGORIES MORE CUT AND DRIED BUT THAT CAN T BE HELPED !MONG SOME "UDDHISTS ) AM REGARDED WITH UNEASE AS HAVING FAILED DEl NITIVELY TO THROW OFF THE TAINT OF THEISM WHILE THE MORE TRIUMPHALIST #ATHOLICS VIEW ME WITH UTTER SUSPICION AS THOUGH ) WERE SOMEONE WITH A FORGED INVITATION ATTEMPT ING TO CRASH A VERY EXCLUSIVE PARTY 4HAT THIS AWKWARD POSITION HAS CAUSED ME SOME PAIN ) READILY ADMIT BUT NO IDEAL SOLUTION HAS PRESENTED ITSELF /NLY A MINORITY OF PERSONS SEEMS TO SHARE MY VIEW THAT WHAT IS PRIMARY IS THE PROFOUND AND INALIENABLE SPIRITUAL INHERITANCE EQUALLY BELONGING TO ALL OF US AND THAT SUPREMACY AMONG TRADITIONS IS THE BUSINESS OF APOLOGISTS

ANTHROPOLOGISTS AND SALESMEN RATHER THAN OF TRUE PEOPLE OF FAITH !LAS THE ATTITUDE OF hYOU RE EITHER WITH US OR AGAINST USv SEEMS TO HOLD SWAY NOW ADAYS IN DISTRESSINGLY MANY QUARTERS >HHJ: D8ID7:G

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4HERE IS A CELEBRATED EXCHANGE IN -ARK S 'OSPEL BETWEEN *ESUS AND HIS DISCIPLES IN WHICH THEY HAVE BEEN TELLING HIM WHAT VARIOUS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT WHO HE MUST BE *ESUS SAYS IN EFFECT h.O NO WAIT A SECOND 7HO DO YOU SAY ) AM v )T IS 0ETER WHO ANSWERS SIMPLY h9OU ARE THE ANOINTED ONE v U -UCH HAS BEEN MADE OF THIS BY #HRISTIANS WHO HOLD THAT *ESUS WAS IN THE PROCESS OF DEl NING HIS TRIBE THE BEGINNINGS OF THE #HURCH 4RIUMPHANT &OR THEM ACKNOWLEDGING *ESUS SEEMS TO HAVE SOME OF THE FEBRILE QUALITY OF A CHAMPIONSHIP FOOTBALL MATCH WITH THE SAME SINISTER SHADOW OF VIOLENCE

EITHER LITERAL h7E SHALL NOW KILL YOU v OR l GURATIVE h9OU ARE DAMNED TO ETERNAL TORMENT v ! LESS BLOODTHIRSTY READING OF THE TEXT SUGGESTS THAT *ESUS WAS NOT CONCERNED WITH MEMBERSHIP OR WITH SUCH DESIGNATIONS AS h#HRISTIAN v 2ATHER HIS QUESTION WAS ABOUT SEEING AND HEARING WITH THE QUIET UNDIVIDED HEART NECESSARY TO PERCEIVE HIS TIMELESS UNIVERSAL TEACHING

ENLIVENING THE SOCIOCULTURAL CORPUS IN WHICH ANY TEACHING MUST BE COUCHED ! HEART THAT IS ABLE TO ALLOW ITSELF TO BE STILLED BY *ESUS QUESTION WILL HAVE NO TROUBLE SEEING HIM AND HEARING HIS WORDS ) AM AWARE THAT THE FOREGOING OPINION MAY PROVOKE A RAISING OF EYE BROWS AND A THINNING OF LIPS IN SOME CIRCLES BUT ) MUST RESPECTFULLY LEAVE THE OBJECTIONS IN THE CARE OF THOSE WHO FEEL COMPELLED TO MAKE THEM 4HUS

READERS SHOULD NOT LOOK TO THIS ESSAY FOR DIALECTIC DISPUTE OR THEOLOGY -Y PURPOSE HERE IS SIMPLY TO CONVEY SOMETHING OF MY SENSE OF #HRISTIAN SPIRI TUALITY AS ) HAVE ENCOUNTERED IT IN DIFFERENT MILIEUS WITH SOME ATTENTION TO THE THORNY TOPIC OF hTHE /THER v OR WHAT MIGHT BE TERMED THE hOPPOSITE POLEv IN INDIVIDUAL SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE -Y PERSPECTIVE IS NECESSARILY MIXED "Y UPBRINGING AND SACRAMENTAL EFl CACY ) CAN STILL CONSIDER MYSELF 2OMAN #ATHOLIC %QUALLY

BY VIRTUE OF LENGTHY TRAINING AND STUDY AND WITHIN THE PENUMBRA OF ANCIENT RITES AND CEREMONIES ) MAY BE CONSIDERED A "UD DHIST "UT RATHER THAN CONCERN MYSELF WITH ISSUES OF THIS KIND WHICH IN SOME SENSE ARE PURELY POLITICAL ) INTEND TO CONCENTRATE ON REPORTING WHAT ) HAVE OBSERVED h)S 4HERE !NYBODY 4HERE v !ND HE SAID h'O OUT AND STAND ON THE MOUNT BEFORE THE ,ORD v !ND BEHOLD THE ,ORD PASSED BY AND A GREAT AND STRONG WIND TORE THE MOUNTAINS AND BROKE IN PIECES THE ROCKS BEFORE THE ,ORD BUT THE ,ORD WAS NOT IN THE WIND !ND AFTER THE WIND AN EARTHQUAKE BUT THE ,ORD WAS NOT IN THE EARTHQUAKE !ND AFTER THE EARTHQUAKE A l RE

BUT THE ,ORD WAS NOT IN THE l RE !ND AFTER THE l RE THE SOUND OF A LOW WHISPER

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4HIS PASSAGE FROM THE STORY OF THE REDOUBTABLE IF BLOODY MINDED PROPHET %LIJAH IN THE &IRST "OOK OF +INGS IS THE SOURCE OF A BELOVED TRADI TION WITHIN #HRISTIAN SPIRITUALITY WHICH HOLDS THAT 'OD COMMUNICATES WITH HUMANITY IN A hLOW WHISPER v OR MORE COMMONLY A hSTILL SMALL VOICE v ) TAKE THIS TO MEAN THAT WE ARE MISTAKEN TO EXPECT LET ALONE REQUIRE (OLLYWOOD STYLE MANIFESTATIONS OF THE DIVINE SUCH AS ENORMOUS HANDS EMERGING FROM THE CLOUDS TO PLUCK OUR AUTOMOBILE FROM A TRAFl C JAM AND CARRY US OFF FOR A PRIVILEGED VISIT WITH THE ,ORD OF THE 5NIVERSE 7HEN COMMUNICATION COMES

IT IS SUGGESTED THAT IT WILL BE QUIET SUBTLE AND EASILY MISSED )NDEED WE MAY NEED A CERTAIN REl NEMENT BEFORE WE CAN ATTEND TO IT AT ALL 4HIS REl NEMENT IS SOMETIMES REFERRED TO AS hDISCERNMENT OF SPIRITS v 3PIRITUAL INSTRUCTIONS ARE FULL OF WARNINGS ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF THE ABILITY TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN TRUE AND FALSE COMMUNICATIONS 4HE OBVIOUS IMPLICATION IS THAT THE PROCESS INVOLVES ONE WHO SPEAKS AND ONE WHO LISTENS

ONE WHO PRAYS AND ONE TO WHOM PRAYER IS ADDRESSED AND SO THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION h)S THERE ANYBODY THERE v WOULD SEEM TO BE YES 4HIS IS A QUESTION ) RAISED MANY YEARS AGO WITH A )N THE INSIGHTS OF THE WELL KNOWN "ENEDICTINE CONTEMPLATIVE "ROTHER $AVID 3TEINDL 2AST 4HE OCCASION WAS A STAY AT WHAT WAS THEN HIS MYSTICS ONE l NDS COMMUNITY )MMACULATE (EART (ERMITAGE .EW #AMAL DOLI NEAR "IG 3UR #ALIFORNIA ) HAD BEEN SITTING ALONE IN GREATER COMMONALITY ONE OF THE RETREAT CELLS FOR QUITE SOME TIME LOOKING INTO THE LITTLE ADJOINING GARDEN AND SIMPLY ABIDING IN A PRO FOUND YET COMPANIONABLE SILENCE WHEN IT OCCURRED TO ME TO WONDER ABOUT THE RELEVANCE OF LABELING WHAT ) WAS EXPERIENCING AS hPRAYER v PARTICULARLY PRAYER hTOv AN h/THER v HOWEVER CONCEIVED OF ) LATER ASKED "ROTHER $AVID WHAT HE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS AND HE SAID SIMPLY THAT THIS QUESTION IT SEEMED TO HIM WAS AT THE VERY CRUX OF THE DIFFERENCE IN THE VIEWS AMONG A VARIETY OF PEOPLES OF FAITH "UDDHISM OF COURSE INCLINES AWAY FROM AN /THER AT LEAST AN /THER CONSIDERED THEISTICALLY #HRISTIANITY HOWEVER MIGHT INSIST UPON A THEOLOGICALLY ESSENTIAL DISTINCTION BETWEEN CREATURE AND #REATOR "ROTHER $AVID SUGGESTED THAT IN THE INSIGHTS OF THE SO CALLED MYSTICS OF THE VARIOUS TRADITIONS ONE TENDS TO l ND MUCH GREATER COMMONALITY OF OUTLOOK 7ITHIN THE ENORMOUS SCOPE OF "UDDHISM HOWEVER THERE ARE NUMER OUS TRENDS AND TRADITIONS "OTH IN %AST AND #ENTRAL !SIA FOR INSTANCE

THERE ARE WELL KNOWN FORMS OF "UDDHIST WORSHIP THAT MIGHT BE CONSIDERED OTHER DIRECTED 0URE ,AND "UDDHISTS RELY UPON THE LIMITLESS POWER OF THE VOW OF THE "UDDHA !MITABHA TO SAVE ALL SENTIENT BEINGS "Y RECITING THE NAME OF THIS "UDDHA THESE "UDDHISTS SEEK TO SECURE FOR THEMSELVES AND OTHERS AN AUSPICIOUS REBIRTH IN THAT "UDDHA S PARADISE WHERE SPIRITUAL EN DEAVOR IS UNHAMPERED BY THE EFFECTS OF OBSCURING KARMA AND THEREFORE HAS >HHJ: D8ID7:G

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GUARANTEED POTENCY )N THE 4IBETAN TRADITIONS PRAYERS AND PETITIONS ARE COMMONLY ADDRESSED TO LAMAS BOTH LIVING AND DECEASED TO TUTELARY DEITIES

OR TO PROTECTORS OF $HARMA WHICH IS TO SAY "UDDHAS AND "ODHISATTVAS OF ALL SORTS AS THESE BEINGS ARE UNDERSTOOD TO BE CAPABLE OF AIDING THE FAITHFUL IN THEIR STUDY OF $HARMA )N CONTRAST THERE ARE MANY ELEMENTS IN #HRISTIAN SPIRITUALITY WHICH CAN BE CALLED UNITIVE EMPHASIZING THE MUTUAL ENCOUNTER OF CREATURE AND #REATOR IN WHICH THE SEPARATION BETWEEN THE TWO WHILE NOT ERASED BECOMES IRRELEVANT WITHIN THE INTENSE CURRENT OF WHAT IS KNOWN AS THE PRAYER OF UNION 4HESE ELEMENTS ARE CLEARLY SEEN IN THE WRITINGS OF THE CELEBRATED SIXTEENTH CENTURY 3PANISH MYSTICS *UAN DE LA #RUZ AND 4ERESA DE ¸VILA 4HUS WITHIN THE hNON THEISTICv TRADITIONS ARE ELEMENTS THAT MAY BE SEEN TO ECHO THE EXPERIENCE OF THOSE IN hTHEISTICv TRADITIONS AND VICE VERSA (OW THEN TO UNDERSTAND PRAYER )N SO FAR AS WE USE THE WORD AT ALL ) BELIEVE WE MAY SAY THAT TO PRAY IS TO ADDRESS ONESELF TO THE SUPREME REFERENCE POINT OF OUR HUMANITY WHICH GOES BEYOND THAT HUMANITY IN ANY WAY WE CAN CONCEIVE OF IT )N THE WORLD OF THE MONOTHEISTIC FAITHS THIS REFERENCE POINT IS 'OD 0RAYER MIGHT ALSO BE EXPRESSED AS RESTING QUIETLY IN THE ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN #REATOR AND CREATURE 3OURCE OF BEING AND BEING 4HIS OF COURSE BEGS A VARIETY OF QUESTIONS OF A SCOPE BEYOND MY PRESENT REACH ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP TO 'OD HOW THAT RELATIONSHIP IS EXPERIENCED

OR EVEN ABOUT WHO 'OD IS TO THE DEGREE THAT WE MAY USEFULLY SPECULATE ON SUCH THEMES .ONETHELESS IT IS REASONABLE TO ASK HOW ) NOWADAYS THOUGHT TO BE A :EN "UDDHIST AM TO CONSIDER QUESTIONS OF THIS KIND WHICH SEEM TO PERTAIN EXCLUSIVELY TO THE DOMAIN OF WHAT IS USUALLY CONSIDERED #HRISTIAN SPIRITUALITY &OR THIS ) HAVE NO JUSTIl CATION BUT ) HOPE THAT THE PRESENTING OF A BRIEF APOLOGIA MAY EXPLAIN SOME OF MY TEMERITY 6ITA -EA 7HEN ) WAS A CHILD ) SPOKE AS A CHILD ) THOUGHT AS A CHILD ) REASONED AS A CHILD 7HEN ) BECAME A MAN ) GAVE UP CHILDISH WAYS )N THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE ) GREW UP THERE WERE A NUMBER OF POPLAR TREES 0OPLAR LEAVES ARE DARK GREEN ON THE UPPER SURFACE WITH LIGHT GREEN BENEATH

AND ON BREEZY DAYS THE TREES SHIMMER IN THE SUNLIGHT IN A KIND OF RESTLESS SEMAPHORE !T SOME POINT ) DECIDED THAT THEY WERE IN FACT COMMUNICATING

AND THAT THEY WERE TALKING TO 'OD 4HEREAFTER ) ALWAYS REFERRED TO POPLARS SIMPLY AS THE h'OD TREESv A FETCHING CONCEIT FOR A CHILD TO HAVE WE MAY SAY BUT ONE WHICH MIGHT CAUSE THEOLOGICAL RED m AGS TO BE RAISED 5NLIKE 0AUL HOWEVER ) HAVEN T BEEN ABLE ENTIRELY TO SURRENDER MY CHILDISH WAYS 0OPLARS ARE STILL THE 'OD TREES TO ME AND ) STILL FEEL THAT THEY SPEAK ONLY IN

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A LANGUAGE IF ANYTHING YET MORE MYSTERIOUS THAN ) COULD APPRECIATE WHEN ) WAS THINKING AND SPEAKING AS A CHILD DREAMING AS A CHILD 4HE LEFT HAND IS THE DREAMER AS .ANCY 7ILSON 2OSS PUT IT AND AS AN OVERLY SENSITIVE INTROVERTED LEFT HANDED CHILD ) SPENT MUCH TIME DREAMING MY WAY AROUND THE MANY OBSTACLES ) ENCOUNTERED IN A WORLD ) ESSENTIALLY FOUND THREATENING AND UNPREDICTABLE 7HEN ) WAS STILL YOUNG ENOUGH TO SPEND THE DAYS AT HOME MY CIRCUMSCRIBED UNIVERSE COULD BE HANDLED WITH RELATIVE EASE BY USING MY ACTIVE IMAGINATION "UT THEN CAME THE SAD AND ANXIETY l LLED HOURS AT 3T #ATHERINE OF 3IENNA 3CHOOL A DIM

CONCRETE BUNKER OF A PLACE SET IN AN ASPHALT DESERT ITS CROWDED CLASSROOMS PRESIDED OVER BY ANGRY NUNS MANY OF THEM YOUNG POORLY EDUCATED AND ILL PREPARED FOR TEACHING !DJOINING THE WINDY EXPANSE OF THE SCHOOLYARD HOWEVER WAS THE FAUX GOTHIC EDIl CE OF THE CHURCH INTO WHICH WE WERE OFTEN HERDED FOR ONE EVENT OR ANOTHER AND WHICH IN SOME INCHOATE WAY ) KNEW TO BE A PLACE OF ENCOUN TER WITH THE hMYSTERIUM TREMENDUM ET FASCINOSUM v IN ,UTHERAN THEOLOGIAN 2UDOLF /TTO S PHRASE 4HIS IS THE MYSTERY THAT SIMULTANEOUSLY ATTRACTS AND TERRIl ES THAT DRAWS US TOWARDS ECSTASY AND THREATENS ANNIHILATION $EEP IS CALLING TO DEEP )N THE ROAR OF THE WATERS )N THE SHADOWY VAULT OF THAT CHURCH IN THE DANCING RED m ICKER OF THE SACRISTY LAMP THERE WERE ALREADY INKLINGS STIRRINGS ) COULDN T LOCATE OR NAME BUT WHICH SPOKE AS SURELY AS DID THE SUNLIT POPLARS "Y THE TIME ) WAS l NISHING JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL ) WAS ALREADY PURSUING ODD BYWAYS OF RELIGIOUS THOUGHT MEDIEVAL HERMETIC PHILOSOPHY -EDITER RANEAN MYSTERY RELIGIONS !FRO #ARRIBEAN SPIRIT FAITHS !LL OF THEM SEEMED ENDLESSLY FASCINATING TO ME )N THE MEANTIME MY DUTIFUL MOTHER WAS MAK ING SURE THAT MY #ATHOLIC EDUCATION CONTINUED APACE WITH #ONl RMATION CLASSES 4HERE MUCH AS BEFORE IN PRIMARY SCHOOL ) WAS TAUGHT ABOUT RECITA TION BUT LITTLE ABOUT PRAYER BEYOND FORMULAIC PIETIES /F THE #ONl RMATION CEREMONY ) REMEMBER NEXT TO NOTHING AS THOUGH THE -YSTERY ITSELF HAD BEEN PUT ON HOLD UNTIL SOME UNSPECIl ED TIME &OR HIGH SCHOOL MY BROTHER AND ) WERE DISPATCHED TO A BOARDING ACAD EMY RUN BY "ENEDICTINE MONKS MOST OF THEM OF EASTERN %UROPEAN EXTRAC TION #HOREOGRAPHED RECITATION WAS A DEl NITE PART OF THE DAILY ROUTINE AT THE SCHOOL BUT IT WAS THERE THAT IT BEGAN TO DAWN ON ME THAT ) MIGHT SEEK SOMETHING LIKE INSTRUCTION IN SOME INNER TECHNOLOGY SOME ACTUAL WAY OF PRAYER WHICH WOULD HELP ME TO FOCUS MY DESULTORY LONGINGS AND QUESTION ING !CCORDINGLY ) BROUGHT UP THE TOPIC OF CONTEMPLATIVE AND MYSTICAL PRAYER WITH MEMBERS OF THE MONASTIC COMMUNITY >HHJ: D8ID7:G

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)N THE EVENT ) WAS DISMAYED TO l ND THAT MY INQUIRIES WERE DISMISSED AS TRIm ING ) SUPPOSE ) MUST ACCEPT THAT OVER EAGER QUESTIONING BY A HIGH STRUNG ADOLESCENT STRUCK THE GOOD FATHERS AS MERE WHIMSY ) WAS HOWEVER

QUITE SINCERE IN MY WAY 7HEN ) REALIZED THAT ) WAS NOT BEING TAKEN SERI OUSLY ) RETREATED TO ANGER AND REBELLIOUSNESS !BOUT THIS TIME MY RAMBLING RESEARCHES BROUGHT ME TO "UDDHISM 4HOUGH MY APPRECIATION OF IT WAS SHALLOW AT BEST ) NONETHELESS FELT THAT AT LAST ) HAD STUMBLED UPON A PATH THAT SEEMED TO LEAD SOMEWHERE !ND WITH THE ZEAL BORN OF 9ET SOMETHING WAS FRESH INSPIRATION ) RESPONDED ENTHUSIASTICALLY TO AN %NGLISH CLASS ESSAY ASSIGNMENT ON h7HAT -Y 2ELIGION -EANS TO -E v ) TOOK THIS OPPORTUNITY TO PRAISE "UDDHISM TO THE SKIES

CONTINUING APACE WHILE CONDEMNING #HRISTIANITY FOR AS MANY SHORTCOMINGS AS ) COULD IMAGINE 4HE %NGLISH TEACHER WAS A PUNCTILIOUS WHICH ) COULD NOT LAYMAN WHO UNBEKNOWNST TO ME DECIDED TO PRESENT MY ESSAY TO THE PRIOR OF THE MONASTIC COMMUNITY 4HIS WORTHY HAVE PREDICTED PROCEEDED TO READ IT ALOUD AT A MEETING OF THE MONKS )F ) HAD BEEN CONSIDERED PECULIAR BEFORE ) WAS THOUGHT THEREAFTER TO BE DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS AND ) WAS BARRED FROM ASSOCIATING WITH UNDERCLASSMEN FOR FEAR OF MY EXERTING hUNDESIRABLE INm UENCES v ) MANAGED TO BEAR MY NOTORIETY WITH STOICISM AND PERHAPS A LITTLE SATIS FACTION )N THE MEANTIME ) CONTINUED MY READING AND EVENTUALLY BEGAN THE PRACTICE OF SEATED MEDITATION ZAZEN HAVING BY MY SENIOR YEAR BEEN QUITE TAKEN WITH THE RIGOR SIMPLICITY AND LITERARY m OURISHES OF THE :EN SCHOOL "UT IT WOULD BE MORE THAN A DOZEN YEARS BEFORE ) WOULD SURRENDER TO THE DEMANDS OF FULL TIME :EN TRAINING AN ENDEAVOR TO WHICH ) WAS EVENTUALLY TO GIVE NEARLY TWO DECADES 9ET SOMETHING WAS CONTINUING APACE WHICH ) COULD NOT HAVE PREDICTED -Y ANGER AT THE #HURCH WHICH ) FELT HAD SIMPLY DISMISSED ME HAD SLOWLY BEEN DRAINING AWAY )N ITS WAKE WAS A SPACIOUSNESS AND SILENCE A RECEPTIVITY WHICH PERMITTED A VIEW OF MY FAITH OF ORIGIN ) HAD NEVER HAD BEFORE 1UITE SUDDENLY AS IF A WINDOW HAD BEEN THROWN OPEN THE HERETOFORE SHUNNED TERRITORY CALLED #HRISTIANITY REVEALED ITSELF TO BE A VAST RICH AND COMPLEX LAND SO SIMILAR TO THE REGIONS OF THE %ASTERN FAITHS IN THE EXPERIENCE OF THIS TRAVELER THAT ) COULD NO LONGER SEE SUCH CLEAR BORDERS BETWEEN THEM ) REMEMBER IN PARTICULAR ONE VISIT TO .EW #AMALDOLI DURING A BREAK FROM WINTER TRAINING AT :EN -OUNTAIN #ENTER ) HAD JOINED THE "ENEDICTINE MONKS AT THE MORNING OFl CE OF PSALMS AND DURING THE INVITATORY SUDDENLY WAS AWARE OF STANDING IN THE SAME BOUNTIFUL GROUNDLESSNESS AS THE #AMALDOLESE MONKS AS MY FELLOW 4ASSAJARA MONKS AS INDEED ALL THAT LIVED HAD EVER LIVED EVER WOULD LIVE ) NEARLY DROPPED MY PSALM BOOK SO STARTLED WAS )

BY THIS RECOGNITION OF THE HOME SHARED BY ALL BEINGS FROM WHICH NONE EVER

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DEPARTS A RECOGNITION ACHIEVED IN A RELIGIOUS SETTING WHICH ) THOUGHT ) HAD ABANDONED YEARS BEFORE AND TO WHICH ) INTENDED NEVER TO RETURN SAVE AS A VISITOR (OW EMBARRASSED ) WAS TO SEE THAT ) HAD ASSUMED THIS HOME TO BE h"UDDHIST v AND THAT THERE WERE MANY OTHERS WHO ASSUMED LIKEWISE OR WHO WISHED INSTEAD TO CLAIM IT FOR h#HRISTIANITY v 3UCH IS THE INVIDIOUSNESS OF THE HUMAN MIND 4HIS NOW FAMILIAR RECOGNITION IS THE SOURCE OF THE AFOREMENTIONED DIFl CULTY ) HAVE ALIGNING MYSELF WITH ONE OR ANOTHER GANG OF SPIRITUAL ENTHUSIASTS !GAIN ) SEEK NO QUARREL WITH THOSE WHOSE PARTICULAR RELIGIOUS PATRIMONY CARRIES WITH IT A KIND OF MANIFEST DESTINY WHO HEAR IN THE %PISTLE TO THE 0HILIPPIANS A CALL TO GLOBAL SUPPRESSION OF hERRANTv FAITHS WHOSE VO CABULARY SYMBOLOGY COSMOLOGY AND SO FORTH HAVE SPRUNG FROM DIFFERENT SOIL ) WILL SIMPLY CONTINUE TO TRUST THAT WE TRULY MEET ELSEWHERE THAN IN THE ARENA OF IDEOLOGICAL CONm ICT .ADA !BOVE ) USED THE EXPRESSION hBOUNTIFUL GROUNDLESSNESS v /THER TERMS WOULD SERVE AS WELL LA NADA THE PLENUM VOID THE $HARMA NATURE NOUMENON AND SO ON !LL OF THESE TERMS AND TO SOME EXTENT ALL LANGUAGE POSSESSES THE PECULIAR QUALITY THAT WORDS THEMSELVES CANNOT COMPASS THEIR REFERENTS 2ATHER THE VECTOR OF MEANING SOMEHOW BOOMERANGS BACK UPON THE USER (OWEVER MUCH ONE MAY POINT THE l NGER ULTIMATELY INDICATES THE HEART OF THE ONE WHO POINTS )N THE VIBRANT VISION OF *UAN DE LA #RUZ NADA IS ALSO TODO THE SUMMIT OF -T #ARMEL IS ALSO THE UNFATHOMABLE DEPTHS OF ALL THINGS 4HE SOUL IS RAISED TO PARTICIPANT KNOWLEDGE OF THIS VISION NOT BY HER OWN POWERS BUT BY GRACE ALONE WHICH IS THE INEFFABLE MOVEMENT OF DIVINE LOVE .OW "UDDHISTS AS A RULE DO NOT AVAIL THEMSELVES OF SUCH TERMS AS SOULL OR LOVE 4HESE TERMS ARE PROFOUNDLY RELATIONAL IN THEIR ASSUMPTIONS 4HAT IS THEY PRESUME SELF AND OTHER LOVER AND BELOVED AND SO FORTH 4HIS STANCE IS THE BASIS UPON WHICH RESTS WHAT WE MIGHT CALL THE ORDINARY VIEW OF THE WORLD !ND IN SPEAKING TO OTHERS IN ORDINARY LANGUAGE ABOUT THE WORLD WE CAN HARDLY AVOID MAKING USE OF ITS CATEGORIES ITS HIERARCHIES OF MEANING "UT OTHERS "UDDHIST AND NON "UDDHIST ALIKE HAVE WARNED US NOT TO BE MISLED INTO REIFYING THOSE CATEGORIES INTO TREATING THEM AS HAVING AS REFERENTS A COLLECTION OF LITERAL OBJECTIVE STRUCTURES WHICH WE NAIVELY TAKE TO BE THE UNIVERSE (ERE ) VENTURE PERHAPS UNWISELY UPON THE TERRITORY KNOWN TO THE

"UDDHISTS AS |SUNYAT A A 3KT OR EMPTINESS * KU !T THE RISK OF TRYING THE PATIENCE OF KNOWLEDGEABLE READERS ) WOULD SAY THAT IN THE "UDDHIST VIEW

THE WORLD THE UNIVERSE OR REALITY DOES NOT CONSIST OF DISCRETE ONTOLOGICALLY >HHJ: D8ID7:G

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AUTONOMOUS OBJECTS CONTRARY TO APPEARANCES AND CONTRARY TO WHAT IS SOME TIMES KNOWN PHILOSOPHICALLY AS THE hNAÆVE VIEW v 2ATHER THE UNIVERSE OF OBJECTS IS ONTOLOGICALLY UNIFORM AND AMID ITS INTENSE PLASTIC FECUNDITY THERE ARISES THE CEASELESS APPEARANCE OF OBJECTS ALL OF WHICH DEPEND UPON OTHER OBJECTS THE PRECURSOR CAUSES AND CONDITIONS FOR THEIR ARISING 3OMETIMES THIS ARISING IS CALLED hMIND v SOMETIMES hOBJECTS v BUT THE TWO SOMEWHAT ARBITRARY CATEGORIES ARE ACTUALLY INSEPARABLE AND MUTUALLY DEPENDENT

4HIS ASPECT OF REALITY THE MUTUAL DEPENDENT CO ARISING 3KT PRAT TYA OF OBJECTS THAT ARE UNABLE TO EXIST hFROM THEIR OWN SIDEv AS THE SAMUTPADA 4IBETANS ARE APT TO SAY IS CALLED EMPTINESS 4HE hEMPTYv PERSPECTIVE SIDESTEPS l XED RELATIONAL CATEGORIES )NSTEAD

SELF AND OTHER ARE BOTH SEEN AS ENTIRELY PROVISIONAL PERTAINING SOLELY TO THE RELATIVE EXISTENCE OF SENTIENT BEINGS I E BEINGS TEMPORARILY IGNORANT OF THE TRUE NATURE OF THINGS THE ACTUALITY OF THINGS AS THEY ARE THE DING AN SICH MARTHIKA

4HUS FROM THE ULTIMATE 3KT PPARAM POINT OF VIEW SELF AND OTHER ARE TEMPORARILY EXPEDIENT TERMS 4HEY ARE USEFUL INSOFAR AS THEY MAKE NAVIGABLE THE WORLD OF APPEARANCES IN WHICH WE PRESENTLY SOJOURN BUT THEIR UNREm EC TIVE USE CONCEALS THE TRUE NATURE OF THINGS THAT IS THAT BOTH PERSONS AND OBJECTS ARE WITHOUT A l XED INVARIANT IDENTITY IN ISOLATION FROM EVERYTHING

ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE 3KT PUDGALA DHARMA NAIRRATMYAM /N THE FACE OF IT THIS WOULD SEEM TO RENDER PROBLEMATIC THE POSITION THAT THERE IS ONE WHO PRAYS AND AN /THER TO WHOM ONE PRAYS "UT IT IS POS SIBLE TO SEE IN THE WRITINGS OF MATURE CONTEMPLATIVES THAT THE IMPORTANCE OF THOSE CATEGORIES IS ALSO PROVISIONAL ALSO TEMPORARY 4HE EXIGENCIES OF THEOLOGICAL JUSTIl CATION IDEALLY MAKE THEMSELVES FELT ONLY LATER AFTER THOSE WISE IN THE WAYS OF PRAYER HAVE SPOKEN WHEREUPON THEOLOGY CAN HELP TO ESTABLISH THE AXIOMS OF A CONSISTENT AND RIGOROUS DISCOURSE WITH THE WORLD -EANWHILE THE CONTEMPLATIVE RECEIVES INKLINGS OF PERHAPS WHAT ALL ON SOME LEVEL KNOW TO BE TRUE 7E CANNOT EXIST BUT THAT WE BE BUOYED UP BY SOMETHING OR IF WE PREFER SOMEONE WHOM WE CANNOT GET AT DIRECTLY BUT WHOSE LIFE IS INELUCTABLY OUR OWN AND WHO IS SPEAKING TO US CONSTANTLY IN THE hTHIN SILENCEv OF THE HEART 4HUS MAY WE HEAR THE !DVENT CALL h%MMANUEL v OR h'OD WITH US v AS SURELY A STATEMENT OF TRUTH FOR IF IT WERE NOT THE TRUTH

WE COULD NOT LIVE !ND WHERE THERE IS A NEED WE MAY SAY h/THERv OR NOT AS CIRCUMSTANCES WARRANT IT MAKES LITTLE DIFFERENCE IN THE LONG RUN 3IMILARLY TO BECOME ENTRANCED BY THE POWERFUL TEACHINGS OF EMPTINESS IS TO RISK LOSING ENTIRELY THE FORCE OF THE "ODHISATTVA VOW THE VOW TO SEE ALL BEINGS SAFELY INTO THE ULTIMATE HAVEN OF NIRVANA WHICH IS THE PERMANENT ENDING OF DISTORTED VIEWS OF SELF AND OBJECT AND THE VOIDING OF THEIR KARMIC EFFECTS 4HOUGH l NALLY THERE ARE NO BEINGS AT ALL NO ONE TO LEAD THEM NO PLACE TO WHICH THEY CAN BE LED IT IS COMPASSION FOR THE SUFFERING OF THESE

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HAPLESS NONEXISTENT CREATURES THAT IS THE PRIME MOTIVATING FORCE IN THE ALL BUT ENDLESS CAREER OF THE "ODHISATTVA 4O ABANDON BEINGS TO THEIR MISERY BECAUSE THEY AREN T REALLY THERE IS TO FORSAKE THE "ODHISATTVA PATH IN FAVOR OF THE SOLITARY ACHIEVEMENT OF THE PRATYEKA BUDDHAS 3KT THE INDIVIDUALLY LIBERATED ONES 4HUS WHAT WE MIGHT CALL THE AFFECTIVE CURRENT SURFACES EVEN IN COOL DRY

DETACHED "UDDHISM WHILE IN #HRISTIANITY THE hLIVING m AME OF LOVEv l NALLY BURNS AWAY THE VESTIGES OF ATTACHMENT SELF CLINGING AND SENTIMENTALITY

DROWNING THEM IN A SUNLESS SEA OF PEACE BEYOND ALL UNDERSTANDING 4HE FOREGOING PARAGRAPHS HARDLY DO JUSTICE TO THE QUESTIONS RAISED -ILLIONS OF WORDS MORE ELOQUENT THAN MINE HAVE BEEN WRITTEN THEREON

AND THE INTERESTED READER WILL PURSUE HIS OR HER OWN RESEARCHES AS HE OR SHE WISHES 7HAT REMAINS OF MY TASK NOW IS TO OFFER SOME GLEANINGS OF MY OWN EXPERIENCE OF #HRISTIAN ASKESIS OR TRAINING 0SALMS 'AUDE ET 1UIESCE / 'OD YOU ARE MY 'OD FOR YOU ) LONG MY SOUL THIRSTS FOR YOU MY BODY PINES FOR YOU

AS IN A DRY AND WEARY LAND WHERE THERE IS NO WATER 4RADITIONALLY OF COURSE THE OPUS DEI OR 'OD S WORK PAR EXCELLENCE IS THE RECITATION OF THE 0SALMS 4HESE EXAMPLES OF THE hSPONTANEOUS OVERm OW OF POWERFUL FEELINGSv SIMULTANEOUSLY OPEN A GATEWAY TO THE MYSTERIOUS COUNTRY OF ENCOUNTER WITH THE /THER AND SING OF WHAT IS FOUND THERE &OR ME A TIME OF ENGAGED PRESENCE BEGINS UPON ENTERING THE SACRED SPACE OF A CHURCH OR CHAPEL FOR PSALMODY ITS RHYTHMS AS DEMANDING AS ANY PERIOD OF SITTING IN ZAZEN &ROM THE MAKING OF THE SIGN OF THE CROSS WITH BLESSED WATER TO THE DEEP BOW AS ONE PASSES NEAR THE ALTAR TO THE TAKING OF ONE S SEAT IN hUPRIGHT BODILY POSTURE v AS COUNSELED BY THIRTEENTH CENTURY *APANESE :EN -ASTER %IHEI $OGEN ONE SURRENDERS BODY AND MIND TO THE LIVING

SHIFTING BOUNDARIES OF THE PRESENT MOMENT WHERE THE (OLY 3PIRIT IS DOING ITS INEFFABLE WORK !T THE OFl CE OF 6IGILS THE l RST SUNG PHRASES ARE SOMEHOW AN ECHO OF THE COVENANT h/ 'OD OPEN MY LIPS AND MY MOUTH SHALL GIVE YOU PRAISE ,ORD GRANT THE GIFT OF LIFE OF BREATH THAT ) MAY USE THAT BREATH ONLY IN PRAYER v 4HEN THE DEEP BOW FOR THE 'LORIA h'LORY TO &ATHER 3ON AND (OLY 3PIRIT BOTH NOW AND FOREVER THE 'OD WHO IS WHO WAS AND WHO WILL BE FOR AGES UNENDING !MEN v )N THAT BOW IS A PROFOUND SURRENDER A GIVING OVER OF ALL BURDENS IN THE UNKNOWING MYSTERIOUS DARKNESS OF FAITH 4HIS IS ALSO THE UNKNOWING OF UPRIGHT SITTING ZAZEN AN UTTER APOPHASIS IN STILLNESS AND >HHJ: D8ID7:G

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SILENCE WITH ALL PLANS INTENTIONS SCHEDULES SCHEMES TEMPLATES FANTASIES AND FORECASTS COMPLETELY RELINQUISHED AND RELINQUISHED AGAIN MOMENT AFTER MOMENT IN THE FACE OF THE MYSTERIOUS LIFE WHICH IS ALSO GIVEN HEARTBEAT BY HEARTBEAT BREATH BY BREATH !MONG MY EXPERIENCES OF PRACTICE WITH THE 0SALMS WAS A l FTEEN DAY RETREAT AT A PRIMITIVE "ENEDICTINE MONASTERY IN THE SOUTHWESTERN 5NITED 3TATES WHICH ) UNDERTOOK ABOUT l VE YEARS AGO FOLLOWING MY COMPLETION OF

THE $HARMA 4RANSMISSION * O DEN B O CEREMONY AT 4ASSAJARA $URING MY STAY ) KEPT A JOURNAL FOR NO REASON THAT ) CAN NOW RECALL ) D LIKE TO INCLUDE HERE SOME EXCERPTS FROM IT IN HOPE OF ENLARGING UPON SOME OF WHAT WAS SAID ABOVE AND OF CONVEYING SOME OF WHAT ) ENCOUNTERED &EBRUARY 4HIS MORNING S VIGIL WAS LONG AS ALWAYS AND BEAUTIFUL

AS IT OFTEN IS ) LOVE THAT WE HAVE JUST BEGUN THE "OOK OF *OB AS THE READING

AND THAT ) LL LIKELY HEAR MOST OF IT BEFORE ) LEAVE h4HE ,ORD HAS GIVEN AND THE ,ORD HAS TAKEN AWAY "LESSED BE THE NAME OF THE ,ORD v *OB S REFUSAL TO CURSE 'OD IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT THOSE AROUND HIM URGE HIM TO DO SO IS A MAGNIl CENT AND DAUNTING LESSON ) WHO HAVE CURSED 'OD IN MY DAY ) M ASHAMED TO ADMIT CANNOT BUT FEEL THE WEIGHT OF *OB S UPRIGHTNESS CANNOT IGNORE ITS CHALLENGE )N THE FACE OF THE TERRIBLE CIRCUMSTANCES CONFRONTED BY *OB THE PERSON OF FAITH CAN COME TO RECOGNIZE THAT HIS OR HER hACT OF FAITHv THOUGH NOT AS A SINGLE EVENT CAN T BE TIED TO LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES I E

O h7ELL ) LL BE A PERSON OF FAITH AS LONG AS THINGS DON T GO TOO BADLY v )F FAITH IS CONDITIONAL IN THAT WAY IT CANNOT MATURE AND WILL LIKELY SUCCUMB TO EXHAUSTION EVENTUALLY IN THE FACE OF THE SHEER EFFORT OF LIVING -ARCH ) MUST CONTINUE TO EXAMINE THE #HRISTIAN NOTION OF LOVE WITH ITS EXTRAORDINARY MYSTICAL RAMIl CATIONS ) CONFESS ) DON T YET UNDERSTAND WHETHER WHAT S BEING REFERRED TO IS LOVE AS AN OBSERVABLE SENSIBLE PHENOM ENON IN HUMAN EMOTION OR SOMETHING CONSIDERABLY MORE MYSTERIOUS &OR EXAMPLE ARE CONTEMPLATIVE #HRISTIANS SOMEHOW AIMING AT A CONSCIOUS IF IN EFFABLE EXPERIENCE OF THEMSELVES AS SWIMMING IN AN INl NITE SEA OF 'OD S LOVE FOR US )S THAT A KIND OF hPAYOFF v OR CONl RMATION /R IS THIS LOVE hHIDDENv YET DYNAMICALLY PRESENT AS A THEOLOGICALLY NECESSARY FACTOR IN THE GREAT #HRISTIAN TALE ALBEIT KNOWABLE IN SOME SENSE ONLY INDIRECTLY ) MUST SAY THOUGH ) CAN SEE ITS BEAUTY IN THE LATTER SENSE MY ACTUAL CONTEMPLATIVE PERCEPTION IF ) MAY SO SPEAK IS THAT WHILE ) MAY HAVE SOME EXPERIENCE OF TIMELESS ABIDING IN A VAST SILENT INTIMATELY ALIVE UNIVERSE THERE IS NO ESSENTIALLY hRELATIONALv SENSE OF LOVER AND BELOVED INDEED WHEN ) SEEK TO BRING LOVE INTO THE l ELD OF MY AWARENESS CRUDELY SPEAKING IT FEELS AS THOUGH ) HAVE ATTEMPTED TO ADDUCE SOMETHING hEXTRA v ) THINK THIS ABSENCE OF A DISTINCTLY RELATIONAL QUALITY IN MEDITATIVE EXPERIENCE MAY BE A SOURCE OF SERIOUS THEOLOGICAL RESERVATIONS ON THE PART OF #HRISTIANS VIS Í VIS SAY :EN "UDDHISM

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h)S 4HERE !NYBODY 4HERE v

-ARCH %ULOGY FOR 3NOWm AKES IN #OFFEE -Y SPIRIT ALOUD IS LOSTNESS IN 'OD

AS GEESE RAUCOUS IN THEIR TRAVELING SPACES FOLLOW THE PEN

WRITING THE HEART S BLOOD ,IGHT SNOWFALL PERISHING

A GHOSTLY LATTICE IN MY OFFERING CUP .OW LICHEN CLIMBS THE ANCIENT ROCKS GREEN AND GRAY AS TOMB LIGHT

FREEING A CRYSTAL %ASTER 7HAT DO ) KNOW 4HE OLD POET SAID

h,ITTLE LESS NOTHING v 3O IT IS NOW ) RAISE THE CUP SKYWARDS THEN DRINK -ARCH ) hTALKED SPIRITUALITYv AT LENGTH WITH "ROTHER ) WHO SPENT

SOME YEARS PRIOR TO BECOMING A #ATHOLIC MONK STUDYING (INDU $HARMA

MOSTLY OF THE !DVAITA OR NONDUAL VARIETY ) GATHERED THAT *ESUS BECAME FOR HIM THE PIVOT POINT OF A CONVERSION WHEN HE REALIZED *ESUS PLACE IN 'OD S ALL ENCOMPASSING ESCHATOLOGICAL DESIGN "UT AS WE WERE SPEAKING ) FELT AGAIN THE MILDLY ABRASIVE PLACE WHERE TWO DIFFERING CONCEPTUAL FRAMEWORKS GRIND AGAINST ONE ANOTHER AS THEY TRY TO OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE AT THE SAME TIME )N MY OWN UNDERSTANDING SUCH AS IT IS HOWEVER THE LIFE OF THE SPIRIT l NALLY DOESN T HAVE MUCH TO DO WITH CONCEPTUAL FRAMEWORKS %VEN THOUGH THESE LATTER CAN T BE ABANDONED IF WE RE GOING TO HAVE INTELLIGIBLE INTERAC TIONS WITH hTHE WORLD v THEY ARE NOT WHAT IS ULTIMATELY CRITICAL 7HAT IS CRITICAL IS THE FATHOMLESS NAKED HUMAN HEART )F WE KNOW ITS DEPTHS EVEN ONLY A LITTLE THEN WE CAN SO MUCH MORE EASILY RECOGNIZE OTHERS WHO ALSO KNOW THEM AND MEET THEM THERE 4HE REST IS POLITICS WITH ITS ROOTS IN FEAR

AGGRESSION AND BUREAUCRACY RATHER THAN IN LOVE OF 'OD AND ONE ANOTHER ) THINK "ROTHER ) AND ) SUBSTANTIALLY AGREE ON THIS -ARCH -Y HERETOFORE FAVORITE BOOK OF #HRISTIAN THEOLOGYY GOES CROSS EYED WHEN IT COMES TO DISCUSSING TRANSUBSTANTIATION AND OTHER AR CANA 4HAT ONE IS hCONSUMING #HRISTv IN THE ACT OF SWALLOWING THE (OST IS >HHJ: D8ID7:G

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BELABORED TO THE POINT WHERE ) AM ALL BUT REPELLED BY THE DISCUSSION ) AM SIMPLY NOT ABLE TO GENERATE MUCH ENTHUSIASM FOR SUCH AN ALIMENTARY VIEW &OR ME TO APPROACH THE SACRAMENT OF THE %UCHARIST OR ANY OF THEM FOR THAT MATTER WITH BODY AND MIND POISED IN THE HUMILITY OF UTTER SILENCE IS WHAT IS POSSIBLE AND MOST DEEPLY GRATIFYING ) FEEL NO INCLINATION TO PURSUE WHAT LOOKS LIKE A VIRTUAL FRENZY OF THEOLOGIZING AROUND THE TRIDENTINE DEC LARATION OF WHICH ) TAKE TO BE THE HUB OF THE CURRENT 2OMAN #ATHOLIC CATECHISM ON THE TOPIC 3IGNIl CANTLY HOWEVER EVEN THE CATECHISM ADMITS THAT THE TRANSFORMATION HAPPENS IN A WAY WE CANNOT UNDERSTAND !MEN TO THAT AT LEAST /NE ALSO CAN T ESCAPE THE OMNIPRESENT NOTION OF 'OD AS h"IG $ADDY v WITH OUR ALLOWANCE IN ONE HAND AND A BIG STICK IN THE OTHER "R ) AND ) DISCUSSED THIS YESTERDAY TOUCHING ON &OWLER S STAGES OF FAITH AND MY OWN PERCEPTION THAT IN THE SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OF THE INDIVIDUAL ALL PRIMITIVE hGODSv MUST DIE BEFORE ANY 4HE LIFE OF THE SPIRIT REAL MATURITY CAN BE APPROACHED "Y PRIMITIVE ) ESSENTIALLY DOESNgT HAVE MUCH TO MEAN ANY 'OD THAT RETAINS ANTHROPOMORPHIC TRAPPINGS 7HAT COULD BE MORE OBVIOUS THAN THE FACT THAT 'OD IS NOT NECESSARILY GOING TO PUNISH EVILDOERS THE 0SALMS MANY DO WITH CONCEPTUAL ENTREATIES NOTWITHSTANDING *UST AS APPARENTLY NEITHER IS 'OD GOING TO SHIELD US FROM ALL HARM REGARDLESS OF HOW FRAMEWORKS PITEOUSLY WE BESEECH HIM 9ET ORDINARY #HRISTIAN RELIGIOSITY IS REPLETE WITH SUCH INVOCATIONS AND PETITIONS DESPITE THE FACT THAT AS "R ) NOTES NOWHERE IN SCRIPTURE DOES 'OD PROMISE THAT AWFUL THINGS WILL NEVER BEFALL US )T COULD BE REMARKED OF COURSE THAT THERE ARE ANY NUMBER OF "UDDHIST PRAYERS TO WARD OFF CALAMITY OFTEN BY MEANS OF LEVERAGING MERIT TO SOME SPECIl C ADVANTAGE "R ) POINTS TO *ESUS AS THE 0RINCE OF "ROKEN NESS MY PHRASE AS HE WHO MEETS US PRECISELY WHERE WE ARE MOST BADLY HURT BECAUSE IT WAS ESSENTIALLY TO THE VERY CENTER OF AN INJURED HUMANITY THAT HIS VIA DOLOROSA TOOK HIM 4HERE OF COURSE HE MEETS ALL OF US !ND THE POWER OF THE CROSS IS SUCH THAT THIS MEETING WAS BOTH ONCE AND FOR ALL AND CONTINUES FOREVER -ARCH ,AST NIGHT ) WAS PLAGUED WITH INSOMNIA AND A VARIETY OF DISCOMFORTS !S A RESULT ) FELT UNEQUAL TO MY USUAL ! - RISING TIME AND STAYED IN BED UNTIL NEARLY l VE !S ) TRUDGED OFF TO ,AUDS AT OR SO FEELING OUT OF SORTS AND IMPATIENT WITH MYSELF ) HAD ONE OF THOSE ODD

BODY CENTERED SEMIAWARE EXPERIENCES OF WHAT ) CAN ONLY CALL THE GRACE OF FORGIVENESS !ND AS ) WRITE THIS NOW ) NOTICE THAT A LIGHT RAIN HAS BEGUN TO FALL ON THE PARCHED LANDSCAPE OUTSIDE A GRATUITOUS UNASKED FOR BLESSING !ND ) FELT THIS SOMEWHERE IN MYSELF EARLY THIS MORNING A GENTLE UTTERLY BENIGN TOUCH IN THE DARKNESS OF UNTHINKING m ESH AND BONE UNTHINKING

MIND YOU NOT UNCONSCIOUS 4HAT KIND OF EXPERIENCE IS NOT UNUSUAL HERE

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AT LEAST FOR ME AND ) DARESAY THAT FOR SOME OF THE RESIDENTS IT MAY BE QUITE COMMONPLACE ) FELT SOMETHING SIMILAR DURING MY HOURS AS hPORTERv IN THE BOOKSHOP YESTERDAY AS ) WAS BROWSING IN -ERTON S l NE IF SLIGHTLY CALLOW "READ IN THE 7ILDERNESS /N READING THE TITLE OF THE CHAPTER h9OU (AVE /PENED -Y %ARSv 0SALMS THERE WAS THE SENSE OF SOMETHING SUD DENLY PASSING THROUGH THE WARM DARK SPACES BETWEEN MY HEAD AND FEET

SOMETHING ) MIGHT DESCRIBE AS A RUSHING OF QUIET WINGS OR SWIRLING OF WATERS

CAUSING ME TO SHIVER AND BRINGING SLOW TEARS TO MY EYES 0ROBABLY SOMETHING ) ATE SOME WILL DOUBTLESS SAY AND INDEED ONE MUST BE CAREFUL ABOUT SUCH THINGS 4HE PHENOMENA OF OUR PSYCHO PHYSICAL EXISTENCE ARE DENSE COMPLEX AND MYSTERIOUS AND ONE CAN EASILY BE LED FAR ASTRAY BY THEM INTERPRETING EVERY QUIVER AS SOME SORT OF DIVINE COMMUNICATION 3ACRAMENTUM 7HAT THEN OF THE PANOPLY OF THE CEREMONIES OF GRACE THE SACRAMENTS OF THE #HURCH /F THESE ) AM LIKE MOST LAY #ATHOLICS BEST ACQUAINTED WITH THE %UCHARIST AND 2ECONCILIATION "OTH OF THEM ARE BEST EXPERIENCED WITH AN OPEN AND SILENT HEART AND PARTICULARLY SO THE FORMER IN THE SPLENDID SETTING OF THE -ASS "UT THE WAY OF THE SILENT HEART SEEMS TO BE LITTLE BETTER UNDERSTOOD AMONG THE LAITY NOWADAYS THAN IT WAS IN MY YOUTH -Y VISITS TO PARISH CHURCHES SUGGEST THAT THOSE ATTENDING -ASS OFTEN SEE IT AS AN IM PORTANT OBLIGATION A TIME OF DUTIFUL PRAYER A TIME OF PLEASANT SOCIALIZING

BUT THAT ENCOUNTERS WITH THE MYSTERIUM TREMENDUM ARE NOT SOMETHING DEEMED POSSIBLE OR PERHAPS EVEN DESIRABLE 4HERE SEEMS TO BE ONLY PER FUNCTORY ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF THE COMMEMORATION AND CELEBRATION OF THE CENTRAL MYSTERY OF #HRISTIANITY THE )NCARNATION THE FULl LLMENT OF COMPLETE /THERNESS AND COMPLETE INTIMACY ) AM REMINDED RATHER OF OTHER OCCASIONS WHERE AN AUDIENCE BEHOLDS A SPECTACLE WHICH THEY ENJOY BUT WITH WHICH THEY FEEL ONLY A VAGUE CONNECTION AS IF IT l NALLY WERE ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE 4HUS EVEN THE READINGS FROM THE 0SALMS THE %PISTLES AND THE 'OSPEL CAN T PROVIDE SUFl CIENT PREPARATION FOR ACTUALLY RECEIVING THE BREAD AND WINE THE "ODY AND "LOOD THE VERY m AVORS OF WHICH SWEEP ALL BEFORE THEM CLEANSING THE MOMENT OF EVERYTHING ADVENTITIOUS IN THEIR WAKE LEAVING THE OVERWHELM ING SILENCE OF THE 'IFT 4HE SACRAMENT OF 2ECONCILIATION OR AS IT USED TO BE KNOWN hCONFES SION v IS AN ARCHETYPAL FACE TO FACE ENCOUNTER WITH THE /THER IN THE PERSON OF THE CONFESSOR WHO CARRIES BY WAY OF THE APOSTOLIC SUCCESSION THE CHARISM OF THE FORGIVENESS OF SINS WHICH *ESUS BESTOWED ON (IS DISCIPLES 7HAT IS MOST STRIKING TO ME ABOUT THIS ENCOUNTER IS THE INTENSE VULNERABILITY IT CAN GENERATE AS ) CARRY OUT THE SIMPLE RITUAL OF SPEAKING OF MY OWN FAILURES

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2EV -YO $ENIS ,AHEY

MY MANY OCCASIONS OF hMISSING THE MARK v AS SIN IS SOMETIMES REGARDED

AND ASKING THAT THESE FAILINGS BE HEALED )N THE AURA OF EFFECTUAL GRACE THERE IS INDEED HEALING A HEALING OF THE ALIENATION SPRINGING FROM THOSE FAILINGS )DEALLY THERE IS AN ACTUAL LAYING ON OF HANDS THE HEALING TOUCH AS THE SAC RAMENTAL WORDS OF FORGIVENESS ARE SPOKEN 'OOD RIDDANCE TO THE PRO FORMA OBSERVANCE OF MY CHILDHOOD ENTERING THE NARROW BOX OF THE CONFESSIONAL

KNEELING IN THE DARK AND WAITING FOR THE SLIDING PANEL TO OPEN RECITING A ROTE LIST OF OFFENSES AND RECEIVING AN ASSIGNMENT OF PENITENTIAL RECITATION

THEN l NALLY ESCAPING BACK INTO THE UNCONl NED SPACES OF THE NAVE FAINTLY PUZZLED BY THE WHOLE BUSINESS AND ON THE WHOLE GLAD TO BE DONE WITH IT .OW ) SEE THAT SO MANY PETTY OFFENSES FALL WITHIN THE PURVIEW OF MUCH MORE SERIOUS FAULTS THE FAILURE TO LOVE AND THAT FAILURE S DOGGED COMPANION

SELl SHNESS )T SEEMS THAT PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING ) WOULD CALL SIN RESTS UPON MY LUKEWARM EFFORTS TO PUT INTO PRACTICE *ESUS ADJURATION AS RECORDED EXCLUSIVELY IT SEEMS IN *OHN S 'OSPEL ! NEW COMMANDMENT ) GIVE TO YOU THAT YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER JUST AS ) HAVE LOVED YOU YOU ALSO ARE TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER "Y THIS ALL PEOPLE WILL KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY DISCIPLES IF YOU HAVE LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER 4HIS ALLOWING ONESELF TO FEEL COMPUNCTION THE SHARP STABS OF A WHOLE SOME CONSCIENCE IS AN ANCIENT AND POWERFUL PRACTICE IN #HRISTIAN MORAL TRAINING )T IS ALSO EASILY MISUNDERSTOOD AND MISAPPLIED )T HAS A COUNTER PART IN "UDDHIST MORAL OBSERVANCE 3KT |S LA IN WHAT IS CALLED A SENSE OF SHAME 3KT HR )N ORDER TO BE ABLE TO LIVE UPRIGHTLY ONE NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO KNOW WHEN ONE S CONDUCT HAS BEEN WORTHY OF SHAME WHICH IMPLIES THE DEVELOPMENT OF A PROPERLY FORMED CONSCIENCE WHICH IN TURN IMPLIES OPEN AND HEALTHFUL EXCHANGE IN COMMUNITY FROM AN EARLY AGE 4HIS COMMUNITY OF hPEOPLE OF THE 7AYv IS KNOWN TO THE GOOD HEARTED OF ALL TRADITIONS IN ONE GUISE OR ANOTHER )T IS ALSO BOTH THE BASIS AND THE ONGOING FULl LLMENT OF *ESUS COMMANDMENT THAT WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER IN A WAY THAT SEEKS THE ULTIMATE GOOD OF THE OTHER BEFORE ONE S OWN BENEl T 4O -AKE AN %ND ) AM MOST POINTEDLY AWARE OF THE SHORTCOMINGS OF WHAT ) HAVE WRITTEN HERE 6OLUMES COULD BE AND HAVE BEEN PRODUCED ON THESE TOPICS THIS SHORT REm ECTION IS NEGLIGIBLE )N TRYING TO CONVEY SOME ASPECTS OF HOW THIS BODY AND MIND MOVES IN THE EXERCISE OF #HRISTIAN SPIRITUALITY ) HAVE LEFT OUT FAR MORE THAN ) WAS ABLE TO INCLUDE -AY THIS FAILING TOO BE HEALED THROUGH THE COMPASSION OF THE READER

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h)S 4HERE !NYBODY 4HERE v

/F THE DOING PRAXIS ) HAVE PERHAPS MANAGED TO SAY A VERY LITTLE "UT OF THE DONE DEED PRAGMA PERHAPS THE LESS SAID THE BETTER 3TILL AT TIMES SOMETHING URGES US TO SPEAK AND THEN SPEAK WE MUST EVEN IF HALTINGLY h4O MAKE AN END IS TO MAKE A BEGINNING v AS 4 3 %LIOT REMINDS US !PPARENTLY 0AUL THOUGHT SO TOO &OR YOU HAVE DIED AND YOUR LIFE IS HIDDEN WITH #HRIST IN 'OD 0UT ON THEN AS 'OD S CHOSEN ONES HOLY AND BELOVED COMPASSION KIND NESS HUMILITY MEEKNESS AND PATIENCE BEARING WITH ONE ANOTHER AND

IF ONE HAS A COMPLAINT AGAINST ANOTHER FORGIVING EACH OTHER AS THE ,ORD HAS FORGIVEN YOU SO YOU ALSO MUST FORGIVE !ND ABOVE ALL THESE PUT ON LOVE WHICH BINDS EVERYTHING TOGETHER IN PERFECT HARMONY !ND LET THE PEACE OF #HRIST RULE IN YOUR HEARTS TO WHICH INDEED YOU WERE CALLED IN ONE BODY !ND BE THANKFUL ,ET THE WORD OF #HRIST DWELL IN YOU RICHLY TEACHING AND ADMONISHING ONE ANOTHER IN ALL WISDOM

SINGING PSALMS AND HYMNS AND SPIRITUAL SONGS WITH THANKFULNESS IN YOUR HEARTS TO 'OD !ND WHATEVER YOU DO IN WORD OR DEED DO EVERYTHING IN THE NAME OF THE ,ORD *ESUS GIVING THANKS TO 'OD THE &ATHER THROUGH HIM !ND 2EJOICE ALWAYS PRAY WITHOUT CEASING GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES FOR THIS IS THE WILL OF 'OD IN #HRIST *ESUS FOR YOU | ) BELIEVE THAT THE "UDDHA 3AKYAMUNI THE GREAT LAYMAN SAGE 6IMALA

K RTI AND EVEN THE FOUNDER OF OUR OWN *APANESE :EN FAMILY %IHEI $ $OGEN :ENJ WOULD RECOGNIZE THE IMPORT OFF THESE WORDS IMMEDIATELY WOULD HEAR IN THEM THE CALL TO ALL PEOPLE OF ALL TIMES TO KNOW THEMSELVES AS HAVING BEEN BORN hCHILDREN OF THE LIGHT v FROM THE REMOTEST BEGINNING TO THE ENDING OF ALL THINGS !ND AS CHILDREN OF THE LIGHT WE MUST INSTANTLY GIVE UP OUR CHILDISH WAYS "Y CHILDISH WAYS OF COURSE IS MEANT JEALOUSY ENVY GREED

VENGEFULNESS FEAR AND AGGRESSION ALONG WITH THE URGE TO FORCE THE BODIES AND MINDS OF OTHERS INTO SHAPES PLEASING TO US BUT UNNATURAL TO THEM 3URELY AS THESE UNNECESSARY THINGS ARE JETTISONED WAR WILL VANISH CRIMES OF HATRED WILL VANISH THE WRETCHED EXCESSES OF FEAR BASED FUNDAMENTALISM WILL VANISH ) KNOW THAT THIS CONCEIT COULD BE CALLED CHILDISH AND UNREALISTIC | ) ASPIRE HOWEVER TO BE AS UNREALISTIC AS THE "UDDHA 3AKYAMUNI AND HIS

| DISCIPLES -AHAKASYAPA AND !NANDA AS 0AUL OF 4ARSUS AS &RANCIS OF !SSISI

AS UNREALISTIC IN SHORT AS ANY CHILD WHO MIGHT HEAR h2EJOICE ALWAYS 0RAY WITHOUT CEASING v AND SMILINGLY SAY h/KAY v s

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2EV -YO $ENIS ,AHEY

.OTES +INGS n !N ALTERNATE TRANSLATION OF hA LOW WHISPERv IS hA THIN SILENCE v h"ELOVED DO NOT BELIEVE EVERY SPIRIT BUT TEST THE SPIRITS TO SEE WHETHER THEY ARE FROM 'OD FOR MANY FALSE PROPHETS HAVE GONE OUT INTO THE WORLDv *OHN 7ORTH MENTIONING HERE IS THE PRACTICE IN THE hGENERATION STAGEv OF TANTRA OF MEDITATIVELY IDENTIFYING ONE S OWN BODY SPEECH AND MIND WITH THOSE OF THE TUTELARY DEITY /NE IS COUNSELED HOWEVER TO DO SO ENTIRELY AGAINST THE BACKGROUND OF EMPTINESS FAILING THAT UNDESIRABLE STATES SUCH AS MEGALOMANIA MAY BE THE RESULT ) CAN T PRETEND TO ANY THEOLOGICAL SOPHISTICATION IN THESE REm ECTIONS ON PRAYER BUT ) TRUST THAT ANY hl NE TUNINGv SEEN TO BE NECESSARY FROM THE THEOLOGICAL VIEWPOINT COULD BE PROVIDED BY THOSE WITH SKILL IN THAT AREA #ORINTHIANS 0SALM h3O IF THERE IS ANY ENCOURAGEMENT IN #HRIST ANY COMFORT FROM LOVE ANY PARTICIPATION IN THE 3PIRIT ANY AFFECTION AND SYMPATHY COMPLETE MY JOY BY BEING OF THE SAME MIND HAVING THE SAME LOVE BEING IN FULL ACCORD AND OF ONE MIND $O NOTHING FROM RIVALRY OR CONCEIT BUT IN HUMILITY COUNT OTHERS MORE SIGNIl CANT THAN YOURSELVES ,ET EACH OF YOU LOOK NOT ONLY TO HIS OWN INTERESTS BUT ALSO TO THE INTERESTS OF OTHERS (AVE THIS MIND AMONG YOURSELVES WHICH IS YOURS IN #HRIST *ESUS WHO THOUGH HE WAS IN THE FORM OF 'OD DID NOT COUNT EQUALITY WITH 'OD A THING TO BE GRASPED BUT MADE HIMSELF NOTHING TAKING THE FORM OF A SERVANT BEING BORN IN THE LIKENESS OF MEN !ND BEING FOUND IN HUMAN FORM HE HUMBLED HIMSELF BY BECOMING OBEDIENT TO THE POINT OF DEATH EVEN DEATH ON A CROSS 4HEREFORE 'OD HAS HIGHLY EXALTED HIM AND BESTOWED ON HIM THE NAME THAT IS ABOVE EVERY NAME SO THAT AT THE NAME OF *ESUS EVERY KNEE SHOULD BEND IN HEAVEN AND ON EARTH AND UNDER THE EARTH AND EVERY TONGUE CONFESS THAT *ESUS #HRIST IS ,ORD TO THE GLORY OF 'OD THE &ATHERv 0HILIPPIANS n #F , 7ITTGENSTEIN IN 0HILOSOPHICAL )NVESTIGATIONS h&OR A LARGE CLASS OF CASESÂ&#x2C6; THOUGH NOT FOR ALLÂ&#x2C6;IN WHICH WE EMPLOY THE WORD MEANING IT CAN BE DEl NED THUS THE MEANING OF A WORD IS ITS USE IN THE LANGUAGE v )N ,ATIN AND ITS OFFSPRING THE 2OMANCE LANGUAGES ANIMA SOUL IS A FEMININE NOUN

WHILE DEUS 'OD AND SPIRITUS SPIRIT BREATH ARE MASCULINE #F )MMANUEL +ANT IN #RITIQUE OF 0URE 2EASON WHERE THE hTHING IN ITSELF v IS EQUATED WITH NOUMENON I E AN OBJECT PRIOR TO THE PERCEPTUALLY NECESSARY IMPOSITION OF THE CATEGORIES INHERENT IN MIND E G SPACE AND TIME )T CAN ALSO BE ARGUED THAT PRAYER MUST ALWAYS BE hTHEOLOGICALLY INFORMED v AND THEOLOGY GIVEN LIFE BY PRAYER

#F h)N THE REALM OF COMPLETE NIRVANA ) SHALL LIBERATE ALL BEINGS !ND WHILE ) THUS LIBERATE BEINGS NOT A SINGLE BEING IS LIBERATED !ND WHY NOT 3UBH HU TI A "ODHISATTVA WHO CREATES THE PERCEPTION OF A BEING CANNOT BE CALLED A "ODHISATTVA v 4HE $IAMOND 3UTRA TRANS 2ED 0INE 7ASHINGTON $ # #OUNTERPOINT 0RESS

h!ND THE PEACE OF 'OD WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING WILL GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND YOUR MINDS IN #HRIST *ESUSv 0HILIPPIANS h2EJOICE AND BE STILL v 0SALM 7ILLIAM 7ORDSWORTH IN HIS PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION OF THE ,YRICAL "ALLADS

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h)S 4HERE !NYBODY 4HERE v !LSO KNOWN AS THE NIGHT OFl CE !MONG CONTEMPLATIVE ORDERS THIS LENGTHY RECITATION OFTEN TAKES PLACE AROUND ! - ) E MAKING AN ASSERTION BY MEANS OF A NEGATION #F 3T -ACRINA h)N THE VERY ACT OF SAYING THAT A THING IS @NOT SO AND SO WE BY IMPLICATION INTERPRET THE VERY NATURE OF THE THING IN QUESTION v QUOTED IN N *AROSLAV 0ELIKAN #HRISTIANITY AND #LASSICAL #ULTURE .EW (AVEN 9ALE 5NIVERSITY 0RESS

)T WAS LIKELY THIS CONCERN THAT CAME TO THE FORE WHEN ) ASKED PERMISSION TO RECEIVE THE %UCHARIST DURING -ASS 4HE MONASTIC COUNCIL DISCUSSED THE MATTER AND THEN ASKED THE 0RIOR TO CONVEY A QUESTION TO ME NAMELY IS YOUR RECEIVING THE %UCHARIST DEEPLY PERSONAL IN THAT YOU ARE SHARING IN THE SACRIl CIAL BANQUET OF THE "ODY AND "LOOD OF /UR ,ORD ) REPLIED THAT MY EXPERIENCE OF #OMMUNION WAS INTENSELY PERSONAL BUT THAT IT WAS NOT PERSONALIZED 4HEY ACCEPTED THIS ANSWER 4HIS PASSAGE FROM -ARK S 'OSPEL n WAS PARTICULARLY MEANINGFUL TO HIM h!ND *ESUS WENT ON WITH HIS DISCIPLES TO THE VILLAGES OF #AESAREA 0HILIPPI !ND ON THE WAY HE ASKED HIS DISCIPLES @7HO DO PEOPLE SAY THAT ) AM !ND THEY TOLD HIM

@*OHN THE "APTIST AND OTHERS SAY %LIJAH AND OTHERS ONE OF THE PROPHETS !ND HE ASKED THEM @"UT WHO DO YOU ;EMPHASIS ADDED= SAY THAT ) AM 0ETER ANSWERED HIM

@9OU ARE THE #HRIST !ND HE STRICTLY CHARGED THEM TO TELL NO ONE ABOUT HIM v /LIVIER #L£MENT 4HE 2OOTS OF #HRISTIAN -YSTICISM .EW 9ORK .EW #ITY 0RESS

*AMES &OWLER 4HE 3TAGES OF &AITH H 3AN &RANCISCO (ARPER 4ORCHBOOKS

4HOMAS -ERTON "READ IN THE 7ILDERNESSS .EW 9ORK .EW $IRECTIONS ;REPRINT=

h)F YOU FORGIVE THE SINS OF ANYONE THEY ARE FORGIVEN IF YOU WITHHOLD FORGIVENESS FROM ANYONE IT IS WITHHELDv *OHN *OHN n )N 4HE &OUR 1UARTETS ,ITTLE 'IDDING 6 7HAT WE CALL THE BEGINNING IS OFTEN THE END !ND TO MAKE AN END IS TO MAKE A BEGINNING #OLOSSIANS n 4HESSALONIANS n

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