One Fierce Fashionista

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, November 12, 2015

DGO

One fierce fashionista Heather Narwid moves her vintage clothing shop from Dolores to Durango and brings her style sense with her.

dgomag.com

FREE!

Also: The beer that changed everything, ‘The Bicycle Men,’ Wellington Clark, and Six Dollar String Band

H O N O R I N G T H O S E T H AT S E R V E D

T H A N K YO U

F R O M T H E B AL L AN T IN E C O M M U N IC AT IO N S FAM I LY.

DGO Magazine

Staff

What’s inside Volume 1 Number 3

Nov. 12, 2015

Chief Executive Officer

18 Making the animals in her art speak

Douglas Bennett V.P. of Finance and Operations

If Durango artist Amy Felker’s sculptures could speak, there is no doubt they would tell their stories with as much enthusiasm as she does.

Bob Ganley V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis Founding Editors Amy Maestas David Holub Katie Klingsporn Josh Stephenson Editor David Holub dholub@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Contributors Bryant Liggett

7

A brief encounter with Wellington Wellington Clark, of Wellington & the Brett, is a magical sort of person, and his music is an ode to the pop/rock electro experimentation of the late ’70s and ’80s new wave genre.

22 Quirky, zany and trippy: ‘The Bicycle Men’ return

Robert Alan Wendeborn Ryan Yaseen Christopher Gallagher Jaime Becktel Sara Knight

12 Shaman of style After eight years in Dolores, Heather Narwid (above) is bringing her “carefully curated” clothing shop and sharp sensibilities to Durango.

The silly, MontyPython-meets-Second-City musical comedy is back at the Durango Arts Center after rave reviews from all over the globe.

Advertising Reader Services 375-4570

From the Editor

4

Love it or Hate it

5

Beer

6

Weed

7

Sound

Downtown Lowdown

8

Album Review 9 10 Pages 11 High-Ass Recipes 15 Student Life 16 Movies 17 Savage Love 19 Happenings 23 Horoscope/ puzzles/ Bizarro

/dgomag /dgomag

247-3504

4

@dgo_mag

On the cover Who is one of your fashion influences?

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

“When I was really into the Muppets – and I still adore all the Muppets; they’re still a part of me – I was really intrigued with Janice, her type. Before I was aware of any real women who were that post-hippie-type, you know, just groovy chick. And I thought she was the coolest thing ever. It didn’t occur to me that she was based on any number of iconic people or women, the California type, the 60s/70s…she had a little Janis Joplin in there. The guys who did the Muppets were pretty savvy. They had a lot of interesting references in there. I was just fascinated with her and thought she was so cool. She was someone I had a big style crush on early on.”

— Heather Narwid, owner of Sideshow Emporium & Gallery Photo by David Holub/DGO

�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 3

@dg

dg

[ love it or hate it ]

[CTRL-A]

David Holub |DGO editor

Farting Love it

Like it or not, your clothes say something about you

I

n talking to this issue’s cover phenom Heather Narwid last week, it occurred to me again just how fascinating clothing is. Some people throw on the first thing they see, maybe sniffing it to make sure it’s not too repulsive, while others are obsessive and meticulous. Each of us make choices about clothing daily, and it’s a decision we share with everyone we interact with. But what accounts for these choices?

Clothing, fashion and style get more complex the more you peel back the layers, delving into human psychology, history, societal norms and artistic theory, to name a few. And you thought that vintage buckskin vest you scored at the Humane Society thrift store was nothing more than a huge bargain. Whether you like it or not, the clothes we wear say something about who we are and perhaps who we want to be. And that goes for the guy who doesn’t try as well as the guy who tries waaay too hard.

As a college professor for five years, one of my favorite topics of discussion with students was identity and, specifically, the accoutrements we attach to our bodies that either explicitly or implicitly project to the world information about who we are or who we want to be.

Tattoos, piercings, facial hair, makeup, hairstyles, jewelry and clothing: These are all ways that we share information about ourselves.

We cultivate our images daily, projecting our values and concerns through the things we wear. And the things we don’t wear. A woman who wears crazy tons of makeup is just as interesting as the woman who wears none.

I would always press students to examine what they were “saying” with their style. The stylish students, or, the students who paid particular attention to fashion and how they put themselves together, found this an easier question to answer. They were protagonists when it came to letting their style speak. Others were more

passive or ambivalent with fashion and style. Many times, students’ responses would be that they weren’t saying anything with their style or that they simply didn’t care. They didn’t put much thought into their clothes or accessories. My response would always be that not caring IS saying something.

The beauty of it is that we’re constantly saying stuff about ourselves even when we think we’re not. The guy who wears the same shoes every day until they wear out is saying something. The woman with the T-shirt a couple sizes too small is saying something, as is the guy who has meticulously crafted the perfect I-don’t-care look, complete with the disheveled, unwashed hair, just-dirtyenough jeans and four-day beard. The women who wears 5-inch heels, or the woman who never wears heels, they’re both saying something.

People are always going to look at others and make assumptions based on their appearance. We all look at strangers and immediately begin assessing who this person is, what their values are, who they might associate with. It’s human nature to do so, something deep within our tribal and clan-ish monkey brains. We look at each other and try to make sense of the equation, to fit strangers into recognizable forms, familiar shapes, patterns, archetypes and stereotypes we’ve seen on TV or on the streets. It’s only natural.

When it comes to how much we care about our clothing and style and how much emphasis we place on controlling the message, we all sit somewhere on that spectrum. Like it or not, we’re all looking around, trying to interpret and make sense of each other.

I wouldn’t venture many guesses as to what people I don’t know are trying to say or what they’re attempting to communicate or not. I would, however, love to talk to them, you know, just to see what they say.

David Holub is the editor for DGO. dholub@bcimedia.com.

When I say that I love farts, I mean that I REALLY love farts. They bring me such profound joy and make me cry with the most soul-throttling laughter.

In many ways, they have become synonymous with the expression of love and affection in my family. When we’re farting, we’re usually laughing, and when we’re laughing, there is love. Farts are peace. Farts are happiness. Farts are smiles we make with our butts. My deep appreciation for farts began as a tiny tot, following my swarthy uncle around as he unabashedly let fly the most boisterous, malodorous flatulations. My grandfather would fart-walk the entire length of his hallway with carefully executed release, knowing full well that his young granddaughter looked on, awestruck by his magical powers. Out of respect, I’ll omit details illustrating the rich culture of farting that exists between my parents and me.

However, my brother would agree that whatever relationship we have as siblings is basically constructed upon the common belief that farts are friggin’ hilarious. Fart smells generally annoy me, especially the skanky farts of a filthy stranger.

However, fart sounds, whether they be loud, sharp, quick, booming, rattling, gurgling or squeaking will always, always, always bring profound joy to my fart-loving heart.

— Jaime Becktel

Hate it I will go to great pains to not fart in front of anyone for any reason. I don’t care if it’s a drifter from Tuscaloosa and I’ve been eating Fritos and bean dip for days, every sphincter in my body (how many are there?) will stay utterly still and silent. In the company of others, I will hold in so much flatulence and my stomach will rumble so loud that people assume I emptied the tomb anyway.

Yes, I do it, of course. Big time. Like, wake-the-neighbors-up loud, or do-I-havecancer stenchy, or on the toilet where the up-shooting gust of wind musses my hair. But it’s always alone. Always, always, always.

In my life as a writer, I’ve written well over a million words. And I swear, this right now, is the first time I have ever written the word fart. I’ve spoken the word maybe 10 times ever.

But why? Where did I get such a strong aversion to this? I’m going to blame my older brother, who, from a young age shaped my aesthetic on everything. He taught me what was cool, what was funny, what was acceptable behavior. And if I wanted to hang with him, I knew that farting was not cool, funny or acceptable. Oh and there was that kid in third grade, kind of smelly and unkempt. He farted a lot.

— David Holub

4 | Thursday, November 12, 2015 •• •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Beer as an intellectual, creative pursuit: The one that changed everything

A

nyone who does something creative has had a moment that changed their life, a moment of extreme epiphany, a flash of light, a buzz in their gut, a flurry of ideas, images and words. It’s one of those moments when you can confidently say, “I want to do this, I have the ability to do this, I’m going to try and do this for the rest of my life.”

My entry to loving and working with beer came through school and actually through my first love, writing. I was set to graduate college with a bachelor’s degree in history, but needed to fill a few upper-division electives, and the college of Chemical Engineering offered a class, Brewing and Society, once a year that was designed as an elective for people from other majors. You had to make beer and drink beer and that sounded really awesome to 22-year-old Robbie.

In the class we were required to learn the history of beer, its social impacts, how beer is made as an industrial process, as well as the biochemical reactions that make wort production and fermentation possible.

We were also required to taste a lot of beer, and write about it. The writing was something I already knew I wanted to do, I’d already had that epiphany, but the beer that changed the way I thought about beer, the beer that made me think I could enjoy it beyond just drinking for fun, a beer that made me realize that it can be an intellectual, creative and deeply fulfilling pursuit was Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout.

I searched every possible hard drive for that writing (I’m sure it was lost in the great hard drive crash of 2008). But writing about that beer felt like I was writing poetry. Drinking

it was like standing in front of Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” or “Guernica,” by Pablo Picasso for the first time. Emotions and senses became crossed. I felt things when I tasted this beer.

You ask any craft beer industry worker and they’ll tell you about the beer that changed their life, and this experience is what makes the craft beer community so vibrant and alive and great to be a part of. We’ve all had a beer that so changed the way we approach life that we work to spread that same feeling, that rush of poetry to our lips.

Recently, Lagunitas sold a 50 percent share to Heineken, and to owner Tony Magee, it boiled down to taste: “About the same time we launched Lagunitas in Ireland and I met people there who were big fans of U.S. craft flavors, some of whom were themselves newly-minted brewers, and I realized that the whole damn world of humans may well want to enjoy these same flavors. When I got back home I thought long and hard about how to aim at that truth, how can we get there, to the whole world.”

Magee is saying the same thing I am, but I think he’s simplifying it too much. I would never reduce a beer to a flavor, and never look at craft beer like a colonial project. To me it’s a community, a passion, an experience, and it spreads not through marketing and branding, but by one person, drinking one beer that makes them feel things, not just taste them.

Robert Alan Wendeborn puts the bubbles in the beer at Ska Brewing Co. His first book of poetry, The Blank Target, was published this past spring

by The Lettered Streets Press and is available at Maria’s Bookshop. robbie@skabrewing.com

SALE $359 reg $479

Redeem this coupon at store!

550ml

Expires 11/18/15

Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout

Also available in two sizes 4 packs $1029 Don’t forget - we deliver!

Happy Hour 4-6 ~ Monday-Friday

�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 5

[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

Don’t get too comfortable: The War on Drugs isn’t over

I

spent a lot of time this week reading, trying to immerse myself in the background of this plant here in the Land of the Free. So, it’s Sunday night into early Monday morning, I’m online reading, wandering around the house, taking a bong hit every couple hours, talking to my dogs, reading about Henry Aslinger, our nation’s first “drug czar,” the roots of cannabis prohibition in the 1930s and the ridiculousness of Reefer Madness and I realize that I’m agitated. It occurs to me that, for a country founded on the “unalienable rights” of “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness,” the United States certainly works itself into some blind corners from time to time.

Then I get into the statistics. The USA comprises 5 percent of the world’s population and houses 20 percent of its prison population (more than 2.2 million prisoners), according to the American Civil Liberties Union. The Federal Bureau of Prisons reports that 48.4 percent of inmates (totaling more than 1 million people) are incarcerated for drug-related offenses. The ACLU reports that “Between 2001 and 2010, there were 8 million pot arrests ... That’s one bust every 37 seconds.” It gets worse: The same report states that “Marijuana use is roughly equal among blacks

“

methamphetamine, cocaine, and ... marijuana all fall under the federal government’s most restricted category of chemicals, Schedule I, which is made up of substances that the

Department of Justice has decided have “no currently accepted medical use ... a lack of safety for use under medical supervision, and a high po-

tential for abuse.”

While certain things are going well right now, with legalized recreational marijuana here in Colorado but also in Alaska, Oregon and Washington, (along with a program in the District of Columbia, that I can’t quite puzzle out at 4 on a Monday morning) and medical programs in 23 states, there is a significant damper hovering over the cannabis movement. Marijuana remains a Schedule I substance according to the laws of this nation. This means that it’s 100 percent illegal at the end of the day in the eyes of the federal government.

The flow in the right direction is the result of the work of activists and advocates nationwide, but it is only a start, not a guarantee of future success. Now is not the time to rest, but to push harder until all Americans (even our brothers and sisters in the Deep South) are able to enjoy the freedom to kick back and inhale without fear. It’s something to think about for the next week. Be well til then.

Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good.

I see his presidential bid as just another commercial for himself. It wouldn’t surprise me if he were to name The Hamburglar as his running mate. So I said that onstage, and then had to explain who The Hamburglar was.

”

AWARD WINNING STRAINS

[laugh lines from david sedaris, at FLC]

and whites, yet blacks are 3.73 times as likely to be arrested for marijuana possession.”

Ugh, I should’ve just gone to bed.

It’s 2:45 a.m. I want to scream but the Missus and the pups are slumbering away. I’m in my living room one moment and straight down the rabbit hole the next, reading about for-profit prisons, Richard Nixon and Drug Scheduling, shoddy science, coverups of medical research, the Reagan Era, mandatory minimum sentencing and “The War on Drugs.”

3:30 a.m. Things are going badly; I want to move. I want to leave the country, probably for someplace warmer.

Then, I realize that, when it gets down to brass tacks, I’m about as red-blooded an American boy as you’ll ever meet, raised on football, casseroles, and the Grateful Dead, and it occurs to me that we usually get things close to right given enough time – the Civil Rights movement, important judicial rulings affirming equality during the past decade and important steps toward a sensible drug policy during the 21st Century.

But, one issue is destroying any attempt I make to understand it logically – Federal Scheduling: Heroin,

Casey Jones • B91xW91 • Jolene OG • Banana Kush • Brain OG • Southwest Stomper

EDIBLES • HASH • VAPES • SEEDS • PIPES & BONGS JOINTS • CLOTHING & MORE 970.385.8622

1111 CAMINO DEL RIO #5

ANIMASHERBAL.COM

6 | Thursday, November 12, 2015 •• •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[sound]

A brief encounter with

Wellington Clark of Wellington & the Brett The name of the tall, perennially smiling man with the ancient Chinese hairdo is Wellington, which endears him to the imagination almost immediately. Then there’s his fantastical style: layered cakes of frothy lace, purple velvet sheens, and jaunty neckerchiefs. He’s a magical sort of person, and his music is an ode to the pop/rock electro experimentation of the late ’70s and ’80s new wave genre.

Along with sidekick Brett Patterson, Wellington & the Brett bring to the Durango music scene what they call “Electro Quirky Dance Pop.” Keep an eye out for this visually impossible-to-miss duo and an ear to the ground for their synthpop musings.

The 411 on Wellington Clark

DGO: What are you concerned about in the world right now?

Birthed: Deep in the heart of Texas Aged: Timeless DGO: What sort of arenas do you occupy?

WC: Elementary school teacher, musician, groundskeeper. I’m currently a Zen raker with time to dream and play music.

DGO: What’s the soundtrack of the Wellington Clark adolescence?

WC: Pretty much always punk rock. Started out with a little bit of “Poison – Flesh & Blood” was the first album. I had black spikey hair, I yelled, I was aggressive. I hated hippies.

DGO: Has that changed?

Courtesy of Wellington Clark

»» Wellington Clark is one half of the “Electro Quirky Dance Pop” duo Wellington & the Brett.

WC: Well I’m not gonna hate myself, so I’ve had to say that yes, it’s changed. I don’t hate hippies anymore. I was just pissed off that people could be so relaxed when the shit was going down. But that was long ago.

What I wanna talk about now is me and Brett, and how we’re really into quirky, soulful, electro dance parties.

DGO: How would you describe your voice?

WC: Like a bullfrog – unicorn rodeo where we’re riding the people! But I don’t really want to ride people. I’m not anti-people… I just don’t approve of the choices most people make. But then again, they don’t want my approval!

DGO: What can you tell us

about Wellington & the Brett?

WC: We really love making music.

We’re a little bit black sheepish playing ’80s music here in Durango, but if you like quirky electro pop, come out of the cracks and say hello.

DGO: How will we recognize you?

WC: We’ll be the ones doing jump kicks and singing our hearts out.

DGO: What are you working on right now?

WC: We’re recording and will soon be gallivanting out and about, so keep your heads up. If you play an instrument and sing and are into pop, well then, good for you! Stop by and ... say “hey!”

WC: I taught elementary school until my heart was broken and I still hear the voices of the children in inner city Denver schools, and all over for that matter, asking what the [expletive] is this?

I’m so inspired by what education could be. I’ll be so excited when school becomes something that kids look forward to. If we make school about keeping kids from becoming who they are, then we’re going to lose innovation.

Just think of what would be possible if we did education right?

Kids know that what they’re looking at in the stupid textbook isn’t real life. They’re looking at us and saying, “Hey, we wanna join you.”

Education could be delivered in such a better way.

I feel like music is my passion, but I keep thinking about the kids, and I know that I’ve gotta help in some way.

electro-tastic and quirkified.

DGO: Parting thoughts?

WC: (Singing) Don’t go for second best baby, put your love to the test. Go on express how you feel and maybe then you’ll know your love is real. Express yourself !

— Jaime Becktel For more information about Wellington & the Brett, visit their Facebook page at facebook.com/wellingtonandthebrett.

WESTERN SLOPE

GROWN OWNED WESTERN SLOPE ~ SINCE 2009 ~

DGO: If you had a time machine, where and when would you go?

WC: I’d go back to England sometime around the Victorian period and go shopping – get a bunch of ruffled shirts, top hats, petticoats and then come back and just crush it. But only if I was guaranteed to get back safely without being killed by looters or scarlet fever.

DGO: What are you excited to see in the future?

WC: I want to see vegan states! I’m just excited to see what happens. I’m glad that music is more electronic now and that the sound is going back to the ’80s. I hope we continue to be

F E AT U R I N G “NORTHERN LIGHTS” AT T H E

‘BUD BAR’

Have A Seat & Learn About: ACME Grown Strains • Hash Edibles • Tinctures • Topicals • Drinks

Our new retail store is located in Durango in the old Sweeny’s building.

1644 County Road 203 • Durango [Corner of CR 203 and Hwy 550]

�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 7

[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Six Dollar String Band show is not your father’s hoedown

T

here’s a rumor going around that Durango’s a bluegrass town. Sure, the town’s got a few bands and hosts the best bluegrass festival in the nation. But this is a music town.

What lacks in national touring acts is gained in local creativity. The talent pool keeps getting deeper, and much of this community digs good music, enough to support two kick-ass public radio stations not serving up a predictable plate of “Stairway to Hotel California.”

Bluegrass that is made here represents the better side of the genre, void of the watered-down elevator music from groups disguised as a bluegrass bands but revealed as Air Supply. Our local bluegrass and old-time players know the value of a good murder ballad, and in the case of Six Dollar String Band, the value of a drunken hoedown.

The Six Dollar String Band will perform Friday at an old-time barn dance with caller Wendy Graham at the Irish Embassy Underground.

Graham is a local caller who travels nationwide and overseas to “call” the dances. A self-proclaimed “facilitator of fun,” she walks the crowd through the steps for various reels and jigs before the first note, then calls out dance directions as the show goes on. It’s something she fell ass-backwards into as a kid when her family would attend annual dances in Kentucky. She learned the art of calling, and has honed her skills in dance communities from New York to Durango.

These dances exist on a nationwide circuit, often with playlists varying from country to rock, salsa to hip-hop.

“This phenomenon, called ‘Dare to be Square,’ is sweeping the nation. It’s a revival of the square and barn dance,” said Graham. “It’s cool that Durango is embracing it. Young people are discovering it.”

This is not country line dancing. It’s not an event aimed at senior citizens.

Events like this are an upbeat and raucous party, and the Six Dollar String Band, featuring Stephen Sellers on bass, Brendan Shafer on banjo, Tony Holmquist on fiddle, and, for this show

local bluegrass veteran Pat Dressen on guitar, are the perfect band to provide the soundtrack for rowdiness.

They’re a string band playing a style of music that was the punk rock of the early 20th Century, outsider music ignored by the mainstream and void of fluff and overproduction. It’s high energy music that exists right alongside rock ’n’ roll, created by a sweaty collective hunched over their instruments, playing like it’s the last dance on Earth.

“This band has my heart,” Graham said.

“They play music that moves me to call and music that moves the dancers.”

Techno is clocked anywhere from 120 to 150 beats per minute.

“I Wanna be Sedated,” by the Ramones is 165, and Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is 115.

“One hundred twenty beats per minute is probably the slowest we’ll go,” assured Graham. Having a caller allows the band to concentrate on the up-beat instrumentals and keep the songs coming one after the next.

That’s a pace that can whip people on the dance floor into a frantic jig, especially when some of their songs are clocking in at 150 bpm.

“This is the band to do it,” Graham said.

»» Poster by Tim Kapustka

Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis. edu.

8 | Thursday, November 12, 2015 •• •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[ sound ]

New Yorker and cup of coffee for $10.00 or The Grub for $7.00.

What’s new

106 E. 5th Street (next to train Station) 970-385-7297 www.facebook.com/Durangobagel

King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard,“Paper Mâché Dream Balloon”

(Like us on Facebook)

»»Release date: Nov. 13 »»Label: ATO Records The seventh full-length album from Melbourne, Australia’s neo-psych folk rock outfit King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, “Paper Mâché Dream Balloon,” is the logical extension following the vinyl/digital release of the EP/mini-LP Quarters released this past June. That is to say, Quarters adequately bridged the gap from 2014’s rollicking “I’m In Your Mind Fuzz” and the most recent release “Paper Mâché Dream Balloon.” The heavy riffing and psychedelic dirges of prior releases are largely eschewed on the latest outing, though still evident beneath the surface. So much in fact, that upon first listen of the new long player, I actually had to double check that I was listening to the same band. Not in a bad way, but rather more matter-of-fact. On previous releases, Stu Mackenzie’s prowess as a flautist has largely taken a backseat to straightforward rock ’n’ roll. Here, the flute is fairly (read: very) prominent throughout. If you have less qualms that Jethro Tull won the first Grammy for Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance over the likes of Metallica, Iggy Pop, AC/DC, or Jane’s Addiction, this record is possibly for you. At right around 35 minutes, it is still well worth a listen, and I welcome your opinion once you do.

Recommended if you listen to Foxygen, Devendra Banhart, Unknown Mortal Orchestra or Odessey & Oracle-era Zombies — Jon E. Lynch

915 Main Ave, Durango, CO 81301 • 970-799-6299 • Open 7 Days A Week, 6am-8pm

Lingerie, Bras, Adult Novelties, and DVD’s

FREE Inaugural sensual wellness education class.

Sunday, Nov 15th 6:30pm

We are very proud to offer our community one-hour sensual education classes. The classes subjects will vary and will be every 1st and 3rd Sunday each month. Mark your calendars and join us to make your sexual experiences ignite with a new flame.

The Fallen Angel • 644 E College Dr. • 970-247-0601 Open 7 Days a Week • Support Local, Shop and Ship discreetly at www.TheFallenAngel.com

1928

SINCE

KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

New at Southwest Sound

& Ski Barn

New releases for Nov. 13 »»Jeezy, “Church in the Streets”

LA PLATA COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS EXHIBIT HALL

»»Logic, “Incredible True Story”

EXTRAVAGANZA

»»Chris Isaak, “First Comes the Night” »»Boots, “Aquaria” »»Jeff Lynne’s ELO, “Alone in The Universe”

[laugh lines from david sedaris at FLC]

“ “

I guess it’s a question of doing something in a place it’s not normally done: You don’t shit on the floor at the airport or practice archery at the library.

”

I learned that if one Danish person gets mad at another, he’s likely to shout what translates to, ‘Why don’t you run around in my ass.’

”

FRIDAY • SATURDAY • SUNDAY November 20th from 9-6 November 21st from 9-6 November 22nd from 10-3

Fa ll S av i n g s!

Gear Up for Winter

EVERYTHING

20% to 70% OFF

OUTDOOR GEAR • FOOTWEAR • CLOTHING GardenswartzSportingGoods

@gardenswartz_sportinggoods

213697

»»Kurt Cobain, “Montage of Heck: The Home Recordings”

�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 9

[laugh lines from david sedaris at FLC]

[ pages ] Maria’s Bookshop top sellers

This week’s staff pick, from Kirbie Bennett

11/1 – 11/7

Set in Spain during the 2004 Madrid train bombings, the terrorist attack echoes throughout the pages of “All That Followed,” the debut novel by Gabriel Urza.

The tragic event recalls a similar experience for the residents of the town Muriga.

»»1. Tom & Lucky & George & Cokey Flo,

by Chuck Greaves (Hardcover) »»2. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Old School, by Jeff Kinney (Hardcover) »»3. House of Rain, by Craig Childs (Paperback) »»4. The Martian, by Andy Weir (Paperback) »»5. The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, by Michael A. Singer (Paperback) »»6. How to Relax, by Thich Nhat Hanh (Paperback) »»7. Our Endless Numbered Days, by Claire Fuller (Paperback) »»8. Finders Keepers: A Tale of Archaeological Plunder and Obsession, by Craig Childs (Paperback) »»9. Shantaram, by Gregory David Roberts (Paperback) »»10. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing, by Marie Kondo (Hard-

cover)

All That Followed, by Gabriel Urza

“

Just before the boarding was announced, the girl climbed into his lap and pounded on his colostomy bag. ‘Is that your wallet?’ she asked in a sing-song voice who knew very well what it was. “Oh May June,” the man said wearily, “You know it ain’t my wallet.’ ‘It’s all filled with pooty,’ the girl said.

The novel chronicles the intertwining lives of three individuals — the widow Mariana, whose husband was murdered while running for office as a right-wing conservative; the young idealistic revolutionary, Iker, who participated in the abduction and murder of the politician; and Joni Garrett, an American teacher full of life and tragedy, a longtime resident of Spain since the days of Franco’s fascist rule.

Old wounds and ghosts of guilt and regret haunt these characters, and they all struggle with the complexities of exorcising and accepting the demons of the past.

Written with tight, poetic prose, Urza creates a cast of unique, deep characters in a hauntingly beautiful world where we are always “turning up old bones in order to make room for the new.” With every chapter, “All That Followed” is uplifting and heartbreaking in the best way. Not only is it a strong debut, but it’s also one of the best novels of the year.

”

Recreational Marijuana Dispensary

Receive Special Pricing on Gram of your Choice.

SPORTS FANS!

[must bring in this coupon to redeem] expires 11-30-15

Find your favorite sports gear at DURANGO SPORTS ZONE. We have the widest selection & best brands available in town.

Durango SportsZone

Open 7 Days a Week | Monday - Sunday 9am - 8pm 965 1/2 Main Street | Durango, CO, 81301 www.ColoradoGrowCompany.com | 970-259-1647

durangosportszone.com

#durangosportszone

870

main avenue . durango

10 | Thursday, November 12, 2015 • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[ high-ass recipes ]

Baked to perfection »» You don’t have to be high to enjoy this ... but it

sure doesn’t hurt To make this highass recipe, you’ll need some basic ingredients and opposable, lighter-flickin’ thumbs. These bakey cinnamon, apple and oats are wholesome, wintry vitlins that’ll satisfy your anytimesnacking needs, a serious dessert fix whilst giving you a perfectly delicious and moderately healthy breakfast treat.

FREE

SKA PINT with any food purchase Must present coupon.

Must be 21+ redeem.

One coupon per person per visit.

Not valid with any other offer. Offer expires 11/19/15.

otcdgo.com

What you need: 3 cups of rolled oats 1-2 diced apples

DGO staff

1 tsp of cinnamon ½ cup of raisins ½ cup of chopped walnuts or slivered almonds ½ tsp of salt ½ stick of butter 1 tsp vanilla extract 1/3 cup of honey (or maple syrup) 1 can of coconut cream (for glopping on top later) (Note) If you’re a helpless, sugar-loving bastard like me, you can add more honey, maple syrup or straight-up white or brown sugar to taste.

Directions:

215382

Toss the oats, diced apples, cinnamon, raisins, nuts and salt into a large bowl. Mix it all up with great enthusiasm, because it’s going to taste bloody amazing when it’s done. Grease up a pan with butter or coconut cooking spray and heat the oven to 300°F. Melt the butter. Add the melted butter, vanilla extract and honey into a separate bowl. Once you’ve mixed the melted butter, vanilla and honey, pour that buttery elixir into the bowl of dry ingredients and mix that shit up, making sure every single solitary oat flake and apple dice is perfectly covered in divine butterspice-sweetness. Be sure to resist the desire to abandon the recipe altogether to eat this sweet component for the rest of the night. Spread the sticky mixture into an even layer on the pan and bake for 15-20 minutes. Once it begins turning goldenish brownish, stir, and continue baking for another 5 to 10 minutes. When it’s reached toasted perfection, remove the pan and let sit 5 to 10 minutes. Scoop into a bowl, drop a flabby dollop of fatty coconut cream on top, and eat to your high-ass heart’s content.

Serves 2-4 — Chef High Guy ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 11

Tips from the fashionista You can start with one thing You don’t have to pick out the whole thing at once. Just start with one thing you want to wear, the shoe or ‘I want to wear these tights today.’

Or, ‘It’s cold and I want to wear this sweater,’ and just go from there.

It can get overwhelming because they think they have to dream up 10 components all at once but you don’t. Just go with one and branch out from there.

“

(Style choices are) all contextual

Clothing manufacturers are making clothes for chubby, fluffy Americans. Mediums, the chest is, like, 46. That’s not a medium.

Companies are gauging stuff bigger, and I don’t think a man who has been wearing a large his whole life is suddenly going to go, “Oh, I’m a medium.” But that’s the shirt that will fit you now. Right now, I’m about an 8. In a ’50s dress, I’m a 12. You hear Marilyn Monroe was a 12 and she was. But she was like an 8, now. Anyone who knows vintage knows it’s totally skewed.

Like someone will complain, ‘I don’t like my middle,’ or ‘my head is too small,’ just something about how their body is. If something’s too big … it’s like playing with volume and proportion. So if you’ve got a big ol’ butt but you’re tiny everywhere else, make the everywhere else have a little more volume because then you get balance. It’s not always about making something look smaller, sometimes it’s about making something else look a tiny bit bigger … so that the other thing looks smaller.

Honor what you have Everyone is beautiful. There’s all kinds of awesome body shapes that are full-figured that can wear all this great stuff that other people can’t pull off. Or if you’re body’s not at the point you want it to be, like if you just had a baby or something, you just got to dress for what you are.

— Heather Narwid

Heather Narwid Owner, Sideshow Emporium & Gallery Heather Narwid poses in her shop Sideshow Emporium & Gallery, which recently relocated to Durango after eight years in Dolores.

[ fashion ]

Shaman Words and photos by David Holub | DGO Editor

of style

»» A vintage model hanger hangs at Sideshow Emporium & Gallery.

12 | Thursday, November 12, 2015 •

After eight years in Dolores, Heather Narwid brings her ‘carefully curated’ clothing shop and sharp sensibilities to Durango

H

eather Narwid has been at this since high school, when she and friends would cut school and take a bus from New Jersey to New York City, haunting thrift shops looking for unique clothing treasures for her and her friends. Her first find at her first thrift store was a KISS belt buckle for her sister’s boyfriend. He still has the belt buckle, of course, but not the relationship.

That’s what can happen with a good belt buckle.

Decades later, Narwid finds herself doing the same things, rummaging through clothing, looking for gems, not for herself or her friends, per se, but for others. And she’s made a business out of it. After seven years owning and operating the Sideshow Emporium & Gallery in Dolores, Narwid is moving her mostlyvintage, “carefully curated” clothing shop to Durango.

With a dear fondness for Dolores and the people of Montezuma County, Narwid is excited about

moving to the big(ger) time and its broader and more diverse style spectrum. It’s nothing against Montezuma County.

“It’s not like these people are lacking anything.

It’s just a population factor, just a diversity factor,” Narwid said. “Here there’s not a lot of 18- to 25-yearolds.”

In Durango, she believes, the clothing she finds, purchases and resells will have a larger audience, where her selections will suit someone out there perfectly.

“I’m excited for the more diverse levels and types and subculture styles that there are (in Durango).

Like cute girls under 25 who if you put that same outfit on a lady who was 70 it would look like an old lady outfit.”

DGO spent some serious time with Narwid amid her relocation, and boy did she let loose as only she knows how.

”

Where do you get the clothes you sell?

Anywhere. Everywhere. Individuals, big sales, after market, new, sample sales, merchandise mart, lots of individuals, estates, auctions, if there’s a big lot of something. Really, anywhere I can get a garment that’s wholesale to me or enough of a margin I can make a little bit.

How do you select the clothes for your store?

I’m out and I’m looking for all those different people’s little esoteric elements that they like. I’m looking for the punk kid, looking for hipster boy. I’m looking for a young girl who likes to dress like an old lady. I’m buying stuff for these people.

Continued on Page 14

••••••• Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 13

[ fashion ] From Page 13

That’s why it’s fun, doing this kind of clothing, where it’s so diverse and there’s so much stuff and there’s one of everything.

What’s the most difficult aspect to it?

Looking at a thousand items to want two. It’s hard because it’s time-consuming. You’ve got to think on the fly.

You’ve gotta be like, “Who wears this?”

(In Dolores), I don’t get things that I really want to have because I think they’ll sit forever. It’s going to open it up more going somewhere where there’s more people and more style, more ages.

Why do some things work for one person but not on another?

I think it’s the thoughtfulness they have about it. And how they’re putting their outfit together as an artistic choice. People do that if they’re artists or not. If they’re thoughtful about what they’re wearing, all those principles of art is what they’re using. Like, proportion and color theory.

I think it depends on if they have a super-refined style, if they’re superthoughtful about it, they’re taking risks, having the confidence. That’s the main thing. People say, “I could never pull this off; I could never pull this off.” It’s because you’re saying that is why you can’t.

What drives you crazy when it comes to fashion?

My sensibilities get offended pretty often. Like, if it’s the pajamas thing, wearing the pajamas in public … literally what they’re saying is “I’d rather be in bed. I’d rather be asleep than talking to you.” Me, I spend my life thinking about this crap, so I have a shamanic level of fine-tuning ...

What else drives you crazy?

Grown women who dress like toddlers, as far as a toddler-amount of bling on every component. Like, sparkles head to toe. I see ladies sometimes and they look like … it’s beyond age-appropriate.

It’s like they’re in drag, like teen drag.

Or I see young girls who are dressing like frumpy grandma and it makes them look weird because it’s not fitting their youthful being of under 30.

Men who dress like boys where you would pop that outfit off that dude,

David Holub/DGO

»» Heather Narwid’s dog Rudy chills out at Sideshow Emporium & Gallery in Durango. shrink it and put it on a toddler and it’s totally right.

And same thing about dressing too young. There’s a lot of women who are older that dumb it down too much and they’re not mining their hotness of a certain age and all that confidence that you cultivate where you get to a certain age and you kind of don’t give a shit.

What are some of your favorite fashion principles?

It’s not like (I have) a bunch of rules about, like, “Oh you’re this age ...” It’s just about if you like it, if it’s who you are, if it fits good.

I avoid trendiness. Everything comes back anyway. So if you just concentrate on those classic shapes, they’re going to come back. You can throw one trendy thing in and that’s the same for someone who’s 80 years old. Throw one thing in but don’t be head-to-toe with that trend because you’re going to look silly.

As you get older, you just become more comfortable in yourself and what you want to wear and how you like to look and you find that look that’s really jibing with what you’re saying, who you are. It’s like people with very extreme,

almost confrontational styles. They’re communicating, too. They want you to get through something that’s not offputting necessarily, but just confusing, like you’re just not used to it.

and the cut of the thing, it’s just going to be weird and that’s where the discomfort thing comes from. Everyone says they want to be comfortable, bad fit is the No. 1 cause of being uncomfortable.

Like what?

How do you feel about trendiness?

The easy answer is the stupid printed T-shirts that say crap like “Your boyfriend was checking me out.” There’s those stupid things like … don’t make your T-shirt pick a [expletive] fight with me. Come on, you know?

A non-modern example would be the advent of pure, Sex Pistols-style punk look in mid- to late ’70s. That was unseen before and people didn’t know how to deal with the makeup and spikes and Mohawks and political wordage on things.

What are you trying to say with your style and clothing choices?

I dress for work and I own a clothing store, so I need to look like a person who looks like an expert in choosing and selling clothing. That’s the main thing, dressing my part here. I generally like to overdress a tiny bit. Fit is No. 1. It has to fit right. It doesn’t matter how much I love it, if it doesn’t fit my body shape

I don’t want to be overly influenced by trends. I just want to identify what I think is great. And maybe it started as a ’20s shape, and maybe they redid it in the ’60s. You know what I mean? There are these every 20- to 40-year redos of all these styles. There’s only like 20 clothing shapes. They just keep redoing them a little bit different.

Why vintage?

What pisses me off about modern stuff is that it’s garbage and it’s meant to not ever last. It’s built to destruct. And the clothes, just cheaper methods, everything made (in) substandard facilities with slave labor. (Vintage stuff) is just made better. The seams are better, better designed, it uses more fabric. That’s the main thing, why cheap clothes look like crap is they don’t use enough fabric … There’s so many crappy things they do and people don’t realize because that’s all that’s on offer.

14 | Thursday, November 12, 2015 • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[student life]

[laugh lines from david sedaris at FLC]

“

Half-past Delinquency | Ryan Yaseen

Character(s) you’ll find in a serious bike town

D

urango takes cycling very seriously. Evidence of this are the $1,000 cars with $10,000 bikes fastened to the top. I myself am guilty of driving a POS, but riding a carbon-fiber beauty.

To get you up to speed on who you might see on bikes in Durango, here’s the rundown. We have four types of cyclists: The practical: These are the people you see riding a cruiser around in street clothes who generally have a goofy pedal stroke and look fairly uncomfortable as they drudge along.

Their jeans are rolled on one side and a satchel hangs on the other. They ride clunkers to and from work, when they are not driving their fancy cars.

Their primary use for bikes is an alternative to driving after a long night at the bar.

The Shredders: These folks are addicted to the adrenaline unique to mountain biking. You will recognize these endurbros by their knee pads, baggy clothing, goggles and open face helmets. They are the group having an endless bike conversation while extensively criticizing IPAs at the end of the bar. They possess the rare ability to drink you under the table and still contend for national championships the next day.

Road wrestlers: These are the bikers you cover your kid’s eyes from to avoid exposure to track marks and spandex-clad bulges. Recognizing a roadie is easy: They’re addicted to shaving their legs, hammering out 100-mile-long road rides and an overabundance of red blood cells. Although you make us late to work, we all respect your mental threshold for pain and superior lungs, but you still look absurd in your singlets.

The bad asses: These cyclists are in no one’s way. They are the best of the bunch, the ones everyone respects because they live for (or endure) both pain and adrenaline. Bikes to this group act as a metaphorical prosthetic for the soul; this group fuses flesh to metal to conquer unbe-

More was said but I couldn’t quite follow it because my head was swimming: Amish conversion, fence factory, horse with scoliosis ... named Deuce.

I didn’t really come out of it until this morning.

“

”

I learned that sex with animals was only very recently outlawed in Denmark. “So it was OK before now?” I asked. My companions looked at each other and shrugged.

“I think it was always frowned upon.”

”

o Hell ce a Dolyl•f Nov 13

Frida 0pm 1

Ryan Yaseen/DGO

»» Bikes make friends. Nearly every sport does. Get a bike, join the team and meet others who simply love bikes and love you ... for loving bikes. lievable terrain.

In talking to friends and other fellow riders, the best responses I’ve heard to why people ride are from males and liken comparisons to females. As one friend said, “I find more interest in a bike than I ever will in any girl or class.” That’s an impressive statement; girls and class consume the majority of my life. Another said, “Bikes are great. Not only does she (the bike) bring out the best of me, she even lets me ride her whenever I want.” There is more to two wheels than meets the eye.

If you needed any further reason to get atop a bike, let me offer a few: Bikes make friends. Nearly every sport does. Get a bike, join the team and meet others who simply love

bikes and love you ... for loving bikes.

Bikes save lives through the dynamic duo of preventing drunken driving (drunken riding: way less dangerous!) and killing depression simultaneously.

Bikes save the earth. Every pedal stroke down reduces carbon emissions.

Bikes keep you healthy. Eat whatever you want, after you ride, of course.

The only downfall: Bikes can be expensive, especially the kinds you’ll find around this serious bike town.

KAs $3 S ood F FreeSunday • NFL v. 15 No

ight N t Pin afts r $2 Desday • n Wed v. 18 No

Ryan Yaseen is a Durango boy by birth, currently a sophomore studying communication at FLC. Outside school, his preoccupations involve world travel, mountain biking and adventure sports.

������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 15

[ movies ] Jimmy’s Hall

Grandma Playing at the Gaslight (Wednesday only)

Playing at Animas City Theatre Rating:

Rating: R

PG-13

Genre:

Genre:

Comedy

Drama

Directed by: Paul

Directed by: Ken

Weitz

Loach

Written

Written

by: Paul Weitz

by: Paul Laverty

Runtime: 1 hr. 22 min.

Runtime: 1 hr. 46 min.

Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 92%

Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 77% Synopsis: In 1921, Jimmy Gralton’s

sin was to build a dance hall on a rural crossroads in an Ireland on the brink of Civil War. The PearseConnolly Hall was a place where young people could come to learn, to argue, to dream ... but above all to dance and have fun. As the hall grew in popularity, its socialist and free-spirited reputation brought it to the attention of the church and politicians who forced Jimmy to flee and the hall to close.

Courtesy of Clarius Entertainment

»» Finn Wittrock, front right, plays football player Freddie Steinmark in “My All American.”

‘My All American’ recalls life of Freddie Steinmark

By Michael O’Sullivan © 2015, The Washington Post

The 33 Playing at the Gaslight Rating: PG-

13 Genre: Drama Directed by:

Patricia Riggen Written by:

Steven Rogers Runtime: 2 hr.

Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 40% Synopsis: Disaster strikes on Aug.

5, 2010, as a copper and gold mine collapses in Chile, trapping 33 men underground. With more than 2,000 feet of rock in their way, members of a rescue team work tirelessly for 69 days to save the seemingly doomed crew. Beneath the rubble, the miners begin an epic quest to survive, contending with suffocating heat and the need for food and water.

Inspired by the brief life of Freddie Steinmark (1949-1971), the University of Texas football hero who died at 22 after losing his leg to bone cancer, “My All American” follows the trajectory of many movies of its ilk.

Short of stature but with gumption, heart and willpower to burn, Steinmark (Finn Wittrock) earns an unlikely athletic scholarship to Texas, quickly becoming a role model to both his team and his coach, Darrell Royal (Aaron Eckhart), whose name is now on the school’s stadium.

It’s a modestly inspirational tale, if you tend to be inspired by gridiron heroics. Wittrock’s Freddie is indefatigably upbeat, and he doesn’t do much more than win games. His high school pal and college roommate, Bobby (Rett Terrell), calls him a Pollyanna, with good reason. There is no dark side – either to Freddie or the movie – despite its unhappy ending.

“My All American” pays lip service to a number of minor

My All American Playing at Durango Stadium 9 Rating: PG

Synopsis: Lily Tomlin stars as the

brutally honest Elle, who has just gotten through breaking up with her much younger girlfriend Olivia, when Elle’s granddaughter Sage unexpectedly shows up on her doorstep needing $600 for an abortion before sundown. Temporarily broke, Grandma Elle and Sage spend the day trying to get their hands on the cash as their unannounced visits to old friends and flames end up rattling skeletons and digging up secrets. If you’ve ever wondered what it might be like to have Tomlin as your straight-shooting grandmother, “Grandma” is the fix you need for the lack of that in your real life.

Genre: Drama Directed by: Angelo Pizzo Written by: Angelo Pizzo Runtime: 1 hr. 58 min.

Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: Not available

subplots – Freddie’s relationship with his high school sweetheart, Linda (Sarah Bolger); his role as a football surrogate for his father (Michael Reilly Burke), whose sports career ended because of injury; the death of Bobby’s brother in Vietnam – but filmmaker Angelo Pizzo (writer of “Rudy” and “Hoosiers”) doesn’t seem particularly interested in life as it is lived off the field. “My All American” plays like an extended highlights reel, not a movie.

“You got nuthin’ but football on your mind,” Linda says, teasing Freddie. “That’s not true,” he responds.

In the movie’s case, the observation is completely accurate.

Love the Coopers Playing at Durango Stadium 9 Rating: PG-

13 Genre: Com-

edy Directed by:

Jessie Nelson Written by:

Steven Rogers Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: Not available Synopsis: Follow the Cooper clan as

four generations of extended family come together for their annual Christmas Eve celebration. As the evening unfolds, a series of unexpected visitors and unlikely events turn the night upside down, leading them all toward a surprising rediscovery of family bonds and the spirit of the holiday.

16 | Thursday, November 12, 2015 • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[love and sex]

Relationship advice that calls on the giants of Broadway by this. What’s going on with him?

Not So Talky

Savage Love | Dan Savage

I’m a hetero guy in need of advice.

Back in college, I met this girl. Suffice it to say she was into me but I had some shit to work through. So we ended up being a missed connection, romantically. Despite that, we still became fast friends. I’m less awkward now, in large part because our friendship changed my life. We each married other people, and everything worked out great. Except I still love her. I think about her often, want to share things about my life with her, find myself wanting to rely on her when things are tough. I don’t know what to do with it. On one hand, she means an awful lot to me – she is the kind of friend that comes along once in a lifetime – and I know that I mean a lot to her. So this is a relationship worth protecting, even as asymmetrical as it is. On the other hand, these feelings are starting to seem kind of pathetic. We are barely part of each other’s lives anymore – do I even have a right to feel the way I do? I see three options, each of which is shit. (1) Keep my feelings to myself and endure/enjoy a painful but deeply meaningful friendship. (2) Disappear, either abruptly or gradually, with no explanation. Or (3) damn the torpedoes and bare my soul, which might painfully explode the relationship. After years of option 1, I am strongly leaning toward option 3 – just blowing shit wide open and dealing with whatever happens.

taste. (Look through his record collection: If Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is in there and Mame isn’t, he does not have good taste.)

Okay, here’s my advice: Listen to the original Broadway cast recordings of Company, Follies, and A Little Night Music – music and lyrics, in all three cases, by Stephen Sondheim (peace be upon him). Yes, you can get all three recordings on iTunes, NGAA, but you need to listen to them on vinyl, and you need to discuss these shows, and three songs in particular, with someone who already knows them by heart. Hence the need for a gay dude with good taste in Broadway musicals and an extensive collection of original Broadway cast recordings – on vinyl. As any Broadwaymusical-obsessed gay man will tell you: Epiphanies, insights and breakthroughs come most reliably in moments of silence, i.e., when you have to flip the record over.

Here are the songs you need to pay close attention to: “Sorry-Grateful” from Company, “The Road You Didn’t Take” from Follies, and “Send in the Clowns” from A Little Night Music. (You might be a little too fragile for “Too Many Mornings” and “Losing My Mind,” both from Follies.) Listen over and over again – until you know the lyrics of all three songs by heart. Discuss what these songs mean with your new gay friend. Then you’ll know what to do.

No Good At Acronyms You’re going to need a gay dude to act on the advice I’m about to give you – and not just any gay dude, NGAA, but the kind of gay dude who obsesses about Broadway musicals. And not just any gay dude who obsesses about Broadway musicals, but the kind of Broadway-musical-obsessed gay dude who has good

A friend of mine talks about his sex life almost constantly. Not quite like bragging, more matter-of-fact. For instance, out of the blue he will come out with this: “I was sitting in a bar and this broad looks at me and asks if I want to (expletive]. She had the tightest pussy I’ve ever had.” It just seems like conversation for him. I’m baffled

Let’s D G O !

I want to say something like this: “The amount of pussy and/or cock a man is actually getting exists in inverse proportion to the amount of pussy and/or cock a man brags about getting.” But it ain’t necessarily so. (“It Ain’t Necessarily So,” Porgy and Bess, music by George Gershwin [PBUH], lyrics by Ira Gershwin [PBUH].) I’ve known plenty of guys who bragged constantly about getting tons of ass, and they weren’t all liars. Almost every one of them, however, was deeply insecure – they bragged about the ass they were getting because they feared people saw them as guys who couldn’t get ass in a donkey storm.

I was stroking my partner and went for the lube, when he informed me that he prefers to have his handjobs sans lube. He says that lube is messy. For the past three years, he has raved about my handjobs and said my skills are professional level, and never once did he complain about the lube. I attempted to follow through, but all my old techniques didn’t work. I asked him to show me how, what he likes, and he said just do the same as I’ve always done.

The sliding, gliding, twisting motions that I usually use, all with a reasonable amount of squeezing, just DO NOT WORK without lube. My hand stuck to the dampish skin and would not slide.

He says I am making a big deal out of nothing, but I am upset. One of the best tools in my sexual toolbox has just been rendered unusable.

Sincerely Laments Obstructed Wanking You need to listen to the original Broadway cast recording of Wicked, music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz (PBUH). When Idina Menzel sings “Defying Gravity,” pretend she’s singing “defying aridity.” Apparently that’s your boyfriend’s superpower, or his cock’s

superpower: aridity – “being without moisture, extremely dry, parched” – is no impediment to pleasure. And it’s not an uncommon superpower, SLOW. Lots of guys prefer lubeless handjobs.

So have your boyfriend jack himself off while you listen to Wicked, see what works for him, and then try not to make a big deal – try not to make any sort of deal – out of his handjob preferences going forward.

I usually like your advice, Dan, but I was dismayed when both you and Peter Staley got it wrong in your response to STATUS, the woman who was preparing to divorce her HIV+ husband after the revelation of another affair. You both seemed to think she was trying to get her husband sent to prison. I think she was trying to avoid that outcome! She wants her husband to tell the truth in therapy, but she’s concerned doing so will land him in prison. Here’s something else you both missed: When someone tells a therapist what they have already done, the reporting requirements are far less stringent than when a patient tells what they plan on doing. If a therapist believes a patient is likely to harm themselves or others in the future, the therapist may have to act.

Patient confidentiality carries a lot of weight when it comes to past actions.

Really Regular Reader You weren’t the only reader who came to STATUS’s defense. It’s possible Peter and I got it wrong – our familiarity with cases where vengeful exes abused reporting laws to go after HIV+ people may have colored our response. On the off chance I got it wrong, RRR, I’m going to need to be punished. It should be something that really hurts. Oh, I know: I’ll listen to the original Broadway cast recording of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Twice.

Contact Dan Savage at mail@savagelove. net or @fakedansavage on Twitter.

Visit dgomag.com/calendar + Add an Event

to the DGO calendar with

������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 17

[ visual ]

Making the animals in her art speak »» Durango’s Amy Felker’s quirky creations pack the personality

By Sara Knight Special to DGO

If Durango artist Amy Felker’s sculptures could speak, there is no doubt they would tell their stories with as much enthusiasm as she does.

Their personalities would match their brightly-painted pelts and they would smile and smirk and as they told their tales.

The purple and yellow princess snake, all covered in crystals with a feather boa and a tiara would tell about the curious art lover who was terrified of snakes.

“The woman was actually even afraid to approach one of my snakes,” Amy explains. Felker had to convince

her to even see the piece, but once she did: sold.

The tiara-in-tow snake would proudly pat Felker on the back (if it had hands, of course). After all, what better affirmation could there be for the biology/zoology student in Felker, whose earliest vocabulary included the word “Plecostomus” (“kind of like a tiny catfish”), and who would run out on a frigid day to her outdoor pond to rescue her goldfish from the cold?

Through her quirky animal sculptures, the Durango native hopes to introduce people to the idea that animals are not all that we think they are.

“We think we know what animals are doing, but really we don’t,” Felker laughs. “I know my dogs do that. We think they just sleep all day, when, in fact, you come home and the fish food is all eaten and there are paw prints on the ceiling!”

Such a silly scenario may seem absurd, but Felker’s wild works could be up to anything, and possibly even

This Saturday!

Nov. 14, 2015 · 10am-4pm La Plata County Fairgrounds

We’ll be giving away 340+ thermoinsulated lunch bags!

Sponsored by First National Bank of Durango

Plus..WIN a Girls Night Out Courtesy of the Strater Hotel

Call Cindy 970-375-4599 or email cfisher@bcimedia.com

Courtesy of Amy Felker

»» Amy Felker’s sculpture, “Raul.” everything, much like the spirited sculptor herself.

Felker works full-time at Zuke’s.

She is also a wife, the mother of two teenagers, two dogs, three cats, six chickens and some goldfish and she’s a cancer survivor. But none of that has slowed her down. She’s still learning, going to artist retreats, and keeping a sketchbook filled with ideas. ”I have tons of things stewing! Last year, I started a great bunch of head mounts,” Felker says, as the zoologist within her glows with glee.

Felker’s cranial collection, like her other critters, are formed with chicken wire, covered in celluclay, spray painted, hand painted and decked out with personal touches to match their temperaments.

Clyde the ram is more than 3 feet tall, sticks out more than 3 feet from any wall and is painted a mischievous mauve.

A month or two after Clyde sold at a gallery, Felker ran into John, a builder she knew, who seemed a bit bothered at best. Apparently, John had been building his sister’s house in Grand Junction when she bought Clyde. Felker says, “He had to change the entire floor plan around it ... because it’s such a huge piece.”

Felker’s pieces are rarely such rascals, though, and some even take a more serious tone. “At one point I did a series of endangered Colorado animals,” Felker says.

She’s also sketching out some ideas for a series around the value of animals.

“Everything has a price tag. So that’s the only way that humans seem to see things,” she says.

Here’s a slightly better tale, of Amy’s inspirations. It starts with Ron the firefighting beaver and fire mitigation.

Ron, just like Amy, loves everything he does from chomping tree trunks to fighting off fires. Just after the Missionary Ridge Fire, Ron was taken home by the wife of a firefighter ... whose name was also Ron. “His wife thought that was just the funniest thing in the world.” And so does Felker.

There is a lot to Felker, and to her work. While her colorful critters are amazing, they are only a fraction of her portfolio. She also does a lot Day of the Dead pieces, and every year, since its beginning in 2001, she has created a furniture piece to the KDUR Furniture as Art fundraiser.

Somewhere in there Felker also finds time to contribute to other organizations including the Durango Arts Center, Woolfwood Refuge in Ignacio and many others.

She says her pieces “are all doing what they love, or what I think they would love.” And really, so is Felker.

Amy Felker occasionally shows work at Studio &. Check out her stuff at www.

AmyFelker.com.

18 | Thursday, November 12, 2015 • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happenings]

For my next trick, I will pull __________ out of _____________.

HAPPY HOUR

Monday-Friday 2:30pm-6pm 970.259.7655 948 Main Ave • Durango, CO

If you don’t go to this fundraiser, then you are ____________ »» ‘Cards Against

Humanity’ on tap for Durango Film

By Katie Cahill Special to dGO

Are you a despicable, horrible person prone to obscenity and NSFW outbursts? Not afraid to be raunchy, politically incorrect and wildly inappropriate in a fairly public setting? Then this fundraiser’s for you.

On Friday, Durango Film will host its Show Me The Funny 2 fundraiser at Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr., where the game “Cards Against Humanity” will be played on the big screen.

You play the game by completing fill-in-the-blank statements using phrases printed on playing cards – the more inappropriate the better.

“It’s very irreverent, it’s very politically incorrect,” said Joanie Fraughton, executive director for Durango Film. “It’s very raunchy.“ The game is played in the first 10 rounds, and the player who has the funniest answer and/or gets the most applause is the winner of that round.

The winners of each round then meet for the Battle Royale: The

Durango-themed Round 11, where “no one is safe,” Fraughton said.

“It’s a just a fun thing that we did last year,” Fraughton said. “We need to let loose once in a while.

You can be too serious with fundraising. This is just something fun we do ... come out and laugh with us.”

Warming up the audience the evening will be improv comedy presenting by Durango dot Comedy.

Appetizers from Hot Tomatoes and Nature’s Oasis will be available, as well as a cash bar for those who may need a little liquid courage in order to fill in those blanks like a boss.

Doors will open at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $40 per person, or $20 for students and are available at www. durangofilm.org. The evening is limited to 100 people, so get a move on and get your tickets before they’re gone.

Oh, and it’s one thing to say some awkward stuff while you’re playing; it’s another to actually BE awkward because you don’t know how to play. So don’t be a jerk: Check out the rules of “Cards Against Humanity” at www.cardsagainsthumanity.com.

For tickets or more information, go to www.durangofilm.org or call 375-7779.

BE

Bobby Estes Designer Jeweler Loose Diamonds ~ Custom Jewelry ~ Repairs 970-422-8181 • 970-759-8939 • By Appointment Only ebjrdurangoco@gmail.com

Backstage $7 LUNCH SPECIAL MONDAY-FRIDAY 11am-4pm

This Week’s Events THURSDAY 11/12 - $3 PINTS

Ladies Night 2-1 | Local Artist Show @ 7pm | Open Mic @ 8pm

FRIDAY 11/13 - VINE STREET VIBES SATURDAY 11/14 - PANTS PARTY HAPPY HOUR MONDAY-FRIDAY STARTS AT 4PM BOOK YOUR NEXT PARTY HERE! for details, email: allison@balconybarandgrill.com

600 MAIN AVE balconybarandgrill.com 970.422.8008

������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 19

[happenings] Thursday Tim Sullivan, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Caitlin Cannon, 7-11 p.m., Office Spirito-

rium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

DGO is available around town at these fine businesses.

6512 Restaurant Acme Healing Center

Hermosa Creek Grill Home Slice Pizza (North & South)

Animas Brewing Animas City Theater Animas Herbal Wellness

Iron Horse Inn KD’s Caffe Latte Lemon Head Salon

Animas Surgical Hospital Backstage At The Balcony Billy Goat Saloon

Liquor World Macho’s Mexican Magpies Newsstand

Bottom Shelf Brewery Brown’s Shoe Fit

Main Event Sports Bar Maria’s Bookshop

Carver’s CJ’s Diner Cloud 9

Mill Street Drug Moto Cafe Olde Tymer’s

College Drive Cafe Colorado Grow Company Commons Building

Open Shutter Gallery Phillips 66 Pine Needle Mountaineering

Concrete Skate Shop Cream Bean Berry Crossroads Coffee Derailed Pour House Digs Restaurant Diorio’s South Pizza Dolce

PJ’s Market Purgy’s Restaurant Raider Ridge Cafe RGP’s Sante Alternative Wellness Ska Brewing Southwest Sound

Durango Arts Center Durango Craft Spirits Durango Natural Foods

Southwest Women’s Health Starbucks Steaming Bean

Durango Organics

Steamworks

Durango Rec Center Durango Smoke Shop

Studio & Tequila’s

Durango Sports Club

The Chair

East By Southwest El Rancho

The Greenery The Patio

Envision Durango

The Vault

Fifth Street Eatery FLC Student Union

Three Peaks Deli Tuning Fork Cafe

Four Leaves Winery Gandolf’s Smoke Shop

Urban Market Vaper’s Vape

Gardenswartz Outdoors Gardenswartz Sporting Goods General Palmer Hotel

Velorution Cycles Wagon Wheel Liquors WJ Doyle

Headhunter Industries

Yoga Durango (Both Locations)

To carry DGO in your business please e-mail info@dgomag.com

Carute Roma, 7 p.m., $5, Sunflower The-

atre, 8 E. Main St., Cortez, sunflowertheatre.org.

Karaoke with DJ Crazy Charlie, 9 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 3752568.

Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200, www.theirishembassypub.com.

Informal Tango Practice, 5-7 p.m.,

Groove U Durango, 26369 U.S. Highway 160, tangodurango.info.

Jazz church (experienced musician drop-in session), 6 p.m., Derailed Pour

House, 725 Main Ave., 247-5440, www.derailedpourhouse.com.

Bluemoon Ramblers, 7-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Karaoke, 9 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509 East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Joel Racheff, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Friday

Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

Ace Revel, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Sa-

Latin music night, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937

loon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Show Me the Funny 2, play Cards

Against Humanity for Durango Film, 6:30 p.m., $40/$20, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, durangofilm.org.

Andy Janowsky, 7-11 p.m., Office Spirito-

rium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Eddie Turner and the Trouble Twins,

7 p.m., $15, Sunflower Theatre, 8 E. Main St., Cortez, sunflowertheatre.org.

Tracking and Trekking with James Ohio Pattie, 7 p.m., San Juan College Little

Theater, 4601 College Blvd., Farmington, (505) 566-3242.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

DJ Kaztro, 9 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main Ave.,

259-9018.

Saturday Creede Repertory Theatre Workshop Series:“Improv Comedy Workshop” with Jessica Jackson, 10 a.m.- 1

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Main Ave., 259-9018.

Eric Campbell, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main

Ave., 259-9018.

Monday Four Corners Arts Forum, 9 a.m., KDUR

91.9/93.9 FM, www.kdur.org.

Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30-6:30 p.m., Ska

Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., yoga and a pint of beer for $10, www.skabrewing.com.

Joel Racheff, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

“Unleash Your Muse,” mixed media

workshop with Barb Horn, 6-7:30 p.m., $50/$40, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts.org.

Ace Revel, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699

Main Ave., 247-4431.

Tuesday “Wanderlust - A Celebration of Spirited Travel!,” Caliente Community Chorus,

p.m., $40/$34. Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts.org/performingadults.

7 p.m., F$10, irst United Methodist Church, 808 N. Monterey, Farmington, (505) 5998891, ext. 3219, vnickelshircock@fms.k12.nm.us.

Creede Repertory Theatre Workshop Series:“Scene Study Intensive” with Kate Berry, 2-5 p.m., $40/$34.

Terry Rickard, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts.org/performing-adults.

Robbie Overfield, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond

Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Black Velvet duo, 6-9 p.m., St. Clair Winery & Bistro, 5150 E. Main St., Farmington, (505) 325-0711.

Greg Ryder, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Eddie Turner and the Trouble Twins,

blues, 7:30 p.m., Crash Music, 104 N, Main Ave., Aztec, crashmusicaztec.com.

Tim Sullivan, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Open Mic Night, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main

Ave., 259-9018.

Wednesday Kirk James, blues, 5:30-7:30 p.m., Ken-

nebec Cafe, 4 County Road 124, Hesperus, 247-5674.

Greg Ryder, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Open studio figure drawing, facilitated Ed Bolster, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., www.durangoarts.org.

18th annual Artisans’ Holiday Gift Show & Sale, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Starter Hotel Oak

Two-step and cha-cha dance lessons, 6:30-7:30 p.m., $10, Wild Horse Saloon,

Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

Room, 699 Main Ave. DJs CK and Noonz, 9 p.m., Moe’s, 937

Main Ave., 259-9018.

The Main Squeeze, “Mind Your Head” CD

Release Party, 9 p.m., $12, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, www.animascitytheatre. com.

Sunday Irish music jam session, 12:30 p.m.,

601 East Second Ave., 799-8832.

Geeks Who Drink trivia, 6:30 p.m.,

BREW Pub & Kitchen, 117 W. College Drive, 259-5959.

Pub quiz, 6:30 p.m., Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200.

Terry Rickard, 7-11 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Continued on Page 21

20 | Thursday, November 12, 2015 • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happenings]

Where should we Courtesy of Evanoff

Evanoff’s rock-infused triple-header Evanoff brings its classic rock mixed with contemporary dance, aka ‘dream rock’ to Animas City Theatre Saturday, playing along with The Main Squeeze. The ACT show is Evanoff’s first of three upcoming Durango shows, playing at the Balcony Backstage Nov. 20 and Derailed Pour House Nov. 21.

From Page 20

DGO tonight?

tlewis.edu/art-design/ArtGallery.aspx.

Tayler Hahn art exhibit, through Dec. 3,

Pingpong and poker tournaments,

Raider Ridge Cafe, 509 East Eighth Ave.

8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main Ave., 259-9018.

“Art for the Endangered Landscape: Honoring Wolf Creek,” through Nov. 22,

Karaoke with DJ Crazy Charlie, 9 p.m.,

Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 3752568.

Ongoing “RARE II: Imperiled Plants of Colorado,” Center of Southwest Studies Museum

at Fort Lewis College, 1-4 p.m. Monday-Friday, 1-7 p.m. Thursday, swcenter.fortlewis.edu.

“The Up and Down of It” work by Becca Conrad-Whitehead, through

Taylor Raymond Gallery, 835 Main Ave., 7644064.

“Slavery Days,” solo exhibition of new

work by Michael Brieger, through Nov. 21, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., www. durangoarts.org.

“Colorado Childhood,” solo exhibit by artist Barbara Klema, through Dec. 24, Durango Arts Center Art Library, 802 East Second Ave., www.durangoarts.org.

Dec. 18, Smiley Building, 1309 East Third Ave., beccaconradwhitehead.artspan.com.

Submissions

“Secretive Beauty,” photographs by Roman Loranc, through Dec. 2, Open Shutter Gallery, 735 Main Ave., openshuttergallery.com.

To submit listings for publication in DGO and dgomag. com, go to www.swscene.com and click “Add Your Event,” fill out the form with all your event info and submit. Listings at swscene.com will appear both at dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting events at www.swscene.com is free and takes about one business day to process.

unre(Solved): Patti Singer, through Nov. 16, Fort Lewis College Art Gallery, for-

Your #1 source for what’s going on around Durango dgomag.com/calendar

[laugh lines from david sedaris at FLC]

“ “

Later, at a department store, I learned that Danish ghosts say, “Buh!” rather than “Boo!” It’s so lackluster. “Buh.” Who’s that going to scare?

”

I read that and thought, “Eagles make mistakes?”

How could I come to think they were infallible?

”

+ Add an Event

to the DGO calendar with

������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 21

[ stage ]

Quirky, zany and trippy: ‘The Bicycle Men’ return »» Silly musical comedy is back in

Durango by popular demand

By David Holub DGO Editor

The plot of the “The Bicycle Men” is this: It’s about an American named Steve traveling through France. When his bike breaks down in a small French village, he has quite the hellish time as he waits for his bike to get fixed.

“That’s what it’s about ... that’s not what it’s about,” said cocreator, showbiz veteran and Durango resident John Rubano.

It’s really a story of redemption. It’s “Monty Python” meets Second City. It’s a musical. It’s quirky and zany and trippy.

“It would be your worst nightmare in a foreign country ... on acid,” Rubano said.

You may remember this stage show, which Rubano, along with Mark Nutter, Dave Lewman and Joe Liss performed to sell-out audiences in Durango in 2012 during the USA Pro Cycling Challenge. Rubano said he’s gotten numerous requests for a Durango reprise, hence the “Back by popular demand” on the show poster and the five performances this weekend at the Durango Arts Center. The time seemed right.

“Fall’s kind of a dead time, shoulder season, whatever the hell they call it,” said Rubano, who grew up in Wheat Ridge and has lived in Durango full-time for six years. “We’ll bring it back for Durango.”

These days, they perform the show sporadically, but since its creation 11 years ago, the trio has taken the production across the country and at least one ocean, garnering shockingly impressive blurbs and reviews. The New York Times, Chicago Tribune and London Daily Telegraph thought it was crazy good. So did Steve Martin and the judges at the New York Fringe Festival, where it debuted in 2004 and took the award for Best Overall Production.

“The Bicycle Men” bring impressive resumes with deep ties to Chicago’s legendary Second City comedy troupe and writing gigs for outlets you may have heard of, like “Saturday Night Live.” At Second City, Rubano worked with the likes of Steve Carrell (“I was in his wedding”), Amy Sedaris and Stephen Colbert. He was also on the Jim Belushi sitcom “According to Jim” for eight seasons and still performs in Belushi’s band and in The Blues Brothers musical act with Belushi and Dan Aykroyd.

But after more than 15 years of the showbiz hustle of performing the material of others, much of it rather unfunny, Rubano and team wanted to do something they were passionate about, something of their own creation.

“It’s so much more gratifying than having to do the rhythm of having to do a sitcom: boom-boomlaugh, boom-boom-laugh. It’s repugnant,” Rubano said. “You pay your mortgage with it but it’s a drag. It’s kind of soul-sucking.”

The show was a hit and they had invitations to perform it in Edinburgh, New York, Chicago, L.A., Denver and Portland. They expanded it into a two-act and performed it for a month in London, joined for that stint by Dan Castellaneta, the voice of Homer Simpson.

“On the back of Homer Simpson, you could wash fruit on stage and people would come,” Rubano said.

“It’s insane.”

Beyond the glamour of those cities, they’ve also performed it in, God help them, Albuquerque.

“I swear to God. That Albuquerque, there’s a dark undercurrent there,” Rubano said. “I’ll tell you what: I lived in Chicago. I got run over by a car on my bike in Chicago.

I never felt as at risk in Chicago even having someone try to kill me with their car ... or in L.A. ‘Oh L.A.’s dangerous ... I felt more at risk in Albuquerque than I ever felt in those big cities ... In Albuquerque you feel like something could happen here.”

“The Bicycle Men” are back this weekend only for five shows beginning with a 7:30 p.m. performance Thursday and 6 and 9 p.m. shows Friday and Saturday. »» Durango resident and longtime showbiz veteran John Rubano stars in “The Bicycle Men,” along with Mark Nutter, Dave Lewman and Joe Liss, which will play at the Durango Arts Center Thursday through Saturday.

Courtesy of John Rubano

22 | Thursday, November 12, 2015 • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Do something different today so that you can feel a sense of adventure. Basically, you need a change of scenery! Shake things up a little!

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20)

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) Give yourself a chance to enjoy some fun today with friends or children. Movies, sports events, a fun lunch – whatever. It’s time to have a few giggles.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) You’ll enjoy cocooning at home today or focusing on family and your private life. A discussion with a female relative could be significant.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22)

You will enjoy working alone or behind the scenes today, simply because you need to feel private. You can’t be all things to all people all the time, can you?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) Talk to someone about your hopes and dreams for the future. Unbeknownst to you, this person might tell you something that inspires you!

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20)

When talking to others today, you want to get right down to the nitty-gritty; you don’t want to waste time on superficial chitchat about the weather.

Personal details about your private life might be made public today. This is because the Moon is high in your chart, briefly highlighting your private world. (But you might use this to your advantage.)

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

BORN TODAY

Be prepared to go more than halfway when dealing with others today because the Moon is opposite your sign. This simply requires a little patience, tolerance and compromise. No biggie.

You might feel more attached than usual to something that you own today. If shopping, you might find that you spend money because of an emotional impulse instead of logic.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)

It will please you to do something today to get better organized. Throw away three things from your medicine cabinet. Tidy up magazines and papers. Bit by bit, you can transform your surroundings.

Today the Moon is in your sign, which can make you more emotional than usual. However, it also can make you a bit luckier! Fingers crossed!

You are seductive and alluring. You appreciate beauty around you. You have two distinctive personalities: one that is morally exalted, almost capable of miracles; and one that is hidden and darker. This is a testing year of growth and building. This growth will occur beneath the surface. Do not make major changes yet – wait until next year. Strengthen your financial position by reducing your overhead.

Bizarro

Focus on shared property, inheritances, insurance issues and debt today. With little effort, you might clear up loose details, which will make you feel so much better.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)

© 2015 King Features Syndicate Inc.

[laugh lines from david sedaris at FLC]

“

“So are you going to church tomorrow?” I asked a woman at last night’s book signing.

She looked at her husband and then back at me, saying, “We uhhhhh home church.”

”

“

Honestly it did take a while to figure out what it was. A toenail on a toe you recognize immediately. But out of context, lying on a flat surface between the phone and the desk lamp, it takes a few minutes.

“

”

And I realized, however briefly, that being a monk in the wind is no easy thing.

”

������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ Thursday, November 12, 2015 | 23

NO MATTER WHERE YOUR

ADVENTURE

LEADS YOU THIS WINTER…

907 CAMINO DEL RIO, DURANGO

970.403.8700

SWACDURANGO.COM BRING IN THIS AD AND BE ENTERED TO WIN YOUR CHOICE OF A

SEASON PASS TO PURGATORY

#Z3210A

2013 JEEP WRANGLER UNLIMITED 4X4

#U2328

2015 TOYOTA 4-RUNNER SR5 4X4

WE HAVE GOT YOU COVERED!

or a

SKI RACK

FOR YOUR VEHICLE* *no purchase necessary • must be 18 to participate • one entry per person

DRAWING TO BE HELD FRIDAY NOVEMBER 20, 2015 AT 4PM NO CASH VALUE • MUST BE PRESENT TO WIN Must register by November 19, 2015 @ 6pm at Southwest Auto Center; 907 Camino Del Rio, Durango, CO. Ski rack not to exceed $400 in value.

Single adult pass to Purgatory in Durango, CO only, for 2015/2016 ski season must be for registered persons name only.

#U2313A

2012 TOYOTA TUNDRA SR5 4X4

#Z3206A

2014 JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE TRAIL HAWK 4X4