What You Don’t Know About Drag

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, March 24, 2016

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What you don’t know about

drag

The host of DRAGrango helps dispel misconceptions about this performance art

Also: Santa Fe’s Meow Wolf, Loving and hating astrology, taking risks, must-own albums, and white whiskey

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DGO Magazine

Staff

What’s inside Volume 1 Number 21

March 24, 2016

Chief Executive Officer

10 Apparently this is a

thing: White whiskey

Douglas Bennett V.P. of Finance and Operations

Whiskey isn’t white, it’s brown. Except when it’s not.

And most people don’t know about the silky delights of white whiskey.

Bob Ganley V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis Founding Editors Amy Maestas Katie Klingsporn

David Holub dholub@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer

375-4546 Contributors Kirbie Bennett Katie Cahill Christopher Gallagher Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch Heather Narwid Cyle Talley Robert Alan Wendeborn

Reader Services 375-4570

5

Get Smart about taking a risk Has the time change got you feeling listless? Tired of the same old routine?

Let Candiss White, apparel buyer for Gardenswartz Outdoors, tell you about her first skydiving adventure and taking the occasional risk to spice things up a bit.

8 Style Fetish spots some Neo-Victorian Goth Hannah Grant was creeping silently by on two-inch crepe soles, but I caught her in the stairwell to ask about her Neo-Victorian Goth style.

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications, Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

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Downtown Lowdown

Tell us what you think!

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know?

Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

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Album Review 7 Beer

18 Weed

Seeing Through the Smoke 18

Review 19

Advertising 247-3504

Love it or Hate it

16 Movies

Anya Jaremko-Greenwold anya@bcimedia.com

4

11 Pages

Former Durango resident Tony Schweikle will screen his movie “Hybrids,” a campy family comedy appropriate for all ages.

Editor/ designer/ art director

From the Editor

9

16 A vampire-witch love

story for the ages

David Holub

4

21 Pee-wee’s back – and

he’s awesome

Netflix and chill ‑ 420 edition 19

20 Savage Love

Pee-wee’s new movie might cause suspicion. So what the hell was this movie? And what, no Tim Burton? No Danny Elfman? No Francis, Tina, Large Marge or Dottie?

It’s pretty awesome, that’s what.

21 Happening 23 Horoscope/ puzzles/ Bizarro

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@dgo_mag

On the cover We spoke with Ammon Swofford, aka Alice Glamoure, host of DRAGrango about how he found his “drag” living in Durango, and common misconceptions about his lifestyle he hopes to correct.

Photo courtesy of Ammon Swofford

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

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[ love it or hate it ]

David Holub |DGO editor

Astrology Love it

New mind-blowing Santa Fe art installation: You. Must. Go.

T

he adventure started with a group of artist friends who were headed to Santa Fe for the weekend. There would be an art installation opening at someplace called Meow Wolf. That’s all I knew. Just come, they said.

With this awesome dynamic group combined with some art space called Meow Wolf ? Rrrrrrwwwowwwww!

Hail yes!

I cannot say it more simply. What I encountered in Santa Fe at Meow Wolf changed my life, altered my DNA, made me rethink what was possible through art, forced me to see the world differently.

I tell you this: You must go.

Part of what made the experience so amazing was that I had no idea what I was walking into. So, as much as I can, I’d like to preserve that aspect for when you go. Because you will go. You have to go. An empty void will exist in your heart for the rest of your days if you don’t go. You must go.

First, I’ll try to describe the indescribable. The 20,000-square foot high-concept permanent installation called “House of Eternal Return,” was built by a collective of 135 artists with $2.7 million donated by famed author George R.R. Martin. The first thing you encounter upon entering is a house, a full-sized, full-fledged, expansive house.

You walk in and the house is meticulously furnished and decorated like any real house, down to family photos on the walls, posters and trinkets in the kids’ rooms, books on the shelves, everything.

It feels as if you’re snooping through someone’s life. From there, the mindblowing, mind-twisting, sense-overloading, overwhelming journey begins. Only you don’t quite realize it, or the extent of it or how far it will take you.

From the house are real-life, life-size portals into other worlds, imaginative worlds. Think Alice in Wonderland or Willy Wonka. To get there, you walk through portals, refrigerator doors or an unassuming closet in a bedroom.

Everything in the space is interactive, and you are encouraged to touch every-

thing. Nobs on trees create sounds. A haphazard, spiral staircase makes your surroundings light up as you go up and down.

There is an overarching narrative that ties everything together, which unfolds as you make your way through the installation, something you begin realizing then investigating as you go. That’s where memory and paying attention to detail makes the experience amazing.

For instance, a small 8-inch experimental model of a laser, sound-making contraption on a desk in one bedroom is a fully realized room in imaginary land, with what could only be described as functional laser harp with smoke and laser shows happening around it, a situation that nearly took me to see God. The scope and immensity of the art produced for this show was unreal. The artists produced easily thousands and thousands of works of art in every medium imaginable, filling and covering 70 different individual immersive spaces.

Each work on its own would elicit attention and praise if it stood alone in Durango, or maybe anywhere. One room – a kitchen – was painted in black and white to look as if you were standing inside a real-life cartoon. Elsewhere in one corner was a museum-style display case, full of trinkets and small sculptures. One was a 10-inch killer whale made of dozens and dozens of tiny killer whales. And this was one of a hundred pieces inside a room inside a room inside a world. That’s how the entire installation is. We spent over four hours inside, and I am certain there were many things we never saw.

The show made you question your surroundings and the reality within the reality. I found myself trying every door, opening every drawer, touching everything for what might happen. Often, there was something.

“House of Eternal Return” combines so many pieces: intellectual, artistic, sensory, textual. Upon leaving, our group was exhausted, mentally and physically.

I can’t even begin to describe it.

Astrology is ancient. Tons of old world cultures attached importance to astronomical events (Indians, Chinese, Maya). Of course, some aspects of astrology are stupid (Western astrology, in particular). Daily horoscopes are obviously bogus, and I never read them. Except The Onion’s, those are funny.

But it does make sense that the movements and positions of planets and stars should have a direct impact upon human life. Everything is connected. Being born in the same relative time and place as someone else – aka sharing an astrological “sign” – means you’ve experienced things in your life on a similar schedule. You have something in common and might even develop analogous personalities. Best of all, having a “sign” allows you to fit in somewhere. You have a group, a type, a place in the universal grand scheme. That’s helpful for insecure humans.

Part of astrology is intense projection – and frankly, that’s what I love most about it. You have the opportunity to self-mythologize. Seeing a psychic is a comparable sensation (though, by the way, some psychics are freakishly intuitive, while others are fakers who couldn’t even guess your natural hair color). Psychics discuss your past, future and present, and you make of that information what you will. It doesn’t ultimately matter what they say – you’ll assign your own fears, hopes and theories onto it. If you go in assuming it’s all B.S., you shall be proved right. If you enter with an open mind, you’re bound to hear or discover something of interest.

Astrology is the same way.

— Anya Jaremko-Greenwold

Hate it I will not pretend to think that humans have this world, much less the universe, figured out. Science cannot provide every answer we seek.

And what makes life interesting are the things we do not have testable answers for.

But astrology? The position of planets and stars having an effect on the kinds of people we are based on a set of weeks in which we’re born? Puh-leeze.

It’s a fun game to play, these signs that inform what kind of character and personality traits we have, determining how we interact with others, how we solve problems and events and situations we’ll encounter. But because these pronouncements are so purposely vague and applicable to just about anyone, they become rather laughable.

Like anything that requires belief and faith, we often seek information that confirms our worldview, bolsters what we already believe about ourselves and provides a sense of order, explanation and comfort in what can seem like a chaotic universe.

Yes, the month in which one is born does have determining effects. But these effects can be proven scientifically and sociologically: The seasonal weather, for instance, or your age when you start school (kids entering kindergarten closer to age 6 tend to be further developed mentally, emotionally and physically, which can have lifelong effects).

I have a number of friends who get into astrology to varying degrees. It’s fun, it’s comforting, let’s leave the door open to possibility, they say. Fair enough, but I ain’t buying.

— David Holub

4 | Thursday, March 24, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[Expert Advice on Trivial Affairs]

Cyle Talley | Get Smart

Courtesy of Candiss White

»» Candiss White went skydiving outside Moab in conjunction with her 30th birthday and her “Dirty 30 Bucket List Challenge.”

Taking a risk Has the time change got you feeling listless? Tired of the same old routine? Let Candiss White, apparel buyer for Gardenswartz Outdoors, tell you about her first skydiving adventure and taking the occasional risk to spice things up a bit.

So, what prompted the skydiving adventure?

My best friend and I turn 30 within a month of each other, and it was our “Dirty 30 Bucket List Challenge.” It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.

My dad was a jumper for the Air Force, and I found his jump logs and parachute once upon a time when I was a kid.

So what happened?

We went through Skydive Moab, and I couldn’t recommend them more.

They made us feel comfortable, bringing some humor into a funky, scary situation. We got to watch a couple of jumpers land smoothly before we went, which really helped. There were a couple of videos, we read all the waivers and then signed our lives away.

We suited up in funky jumpsuits and the full body harness while they told us what to expect once we were up there: how to get out of the plane, what to do in the freefall and what to do when landing. We packed into this little 1956 retro airplane with not an inch of room left inside of it. The pilot reached across me to open the door and it was complete shock and awe. The best of

the feelings all at once. I felt alive and crazy and stupid all at once. It took about an hour of education, the flight up took 20 minutes, and we jumped at 10,000 feet above Canyonlands, looking down at the desert on a beautiful day. Our guides, Nick and Daniel, were great, and their calm demeanor totally helped.

That easy, eh?

My friends who had gone told me that the moment you jump wasn’t a big deal, that you don’t feel like you’re freefalling, that it would be really comfortable to jump out of the plane and that the wind resistance makes you feel like it’s holding you back. I call bullshit. It definitely feels like you’re falling out of the sky. You do a roll, like a flip, out of the plane and you’re reaching terminal velocity and all I could think was, “THIS IS HAPPENING!” Maybe a little panic, but also extreme fun. I had the biggest smile on my face and it was actually very comfortable, even in the freefall.

After the first 10 seconds, everything smooths out and you can actually hear pretty well. My tandem was talking to me, even as we were careening toward the earth, looking around at the scen-

ery, and it became really comfortable.

The chute pulls and – You get rocked around for a second and then there’s the biggest feeling of relief, maybe ever. “Thank god, the chute opened. I’m a lucky bitch.” Then the adrenaline kicked in, and I got a little more conscious of what’s happening. My guide and I were at the same level of stoke, so we’re sharing that together. I looked above me to see my friend’s chute open, which was great because hey, we might live to see our 31st birthdays!

Did you scream?

I screamed, “My life is [bleep]ing amazing!!!”

What’s important to you about taking risks?

As cliché as it sounds, you only live once and your tomorrows aren’t promised, so fill your days with as much fun as you can. Live it, love it; it’s soul food.

This one experience has given me fuel for my week, and it’ll gives me the energy to push through the last 10 weeks of grad school.

What would you say to the

people who think you’re nuts?

I’m not nuts, I’m happy. We all have our different comfort zones and we all get our kicks from different thrills. I think there’re other people out there who are way crazier than I could ever be.

Especially in a town like this, where the bar for nuts is set pretty high.

So risk directly equates to happiness?

Taking risks has been the venue for most of my life lessons. I’ve learned a lot about myself and others, about how to handle stress. I grew up on the river and have been on it all of my life and so I equate life lessons with it. You’ll have your holes, your calm patches, your pools, your flips and your swims; but you’ll also have days when you’re high and dry in your boat with your friends enjoying the day and loving life. It’s about the journey and the wisdom you gain along the way.

Cyle Talley would not be screaming about how amazing life is while careening toward the earth. If there’s something you’d like to Get Smart about, email him at: cyle@cyletalley.com

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[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Must-own albums: Led Zeppelin and The Who

Y

ou are judged by your record collection. Not only by the albums it contains, but by the albums it doesn’t. As a fan, collector and someone always wanting to discover music (whether newly made or new to me), my collection welcomes critique; music fans with discerning tastes are often unafraid to spew pearls of musical wisdom, especially toward those whose collection and personal taste could use some improvement. Some might call those people music snobs. I call them people with an interest in something other than crap.

Music lovers often explore mustown albums, things necessary to any collection. This may even result in having to dig into bands lumped into the unimaginative genre of classic rock. An invention of commercial radio, it’s a formulaic business model that constantly rehashes a few hits of a great band, while ignoring the bulk of their catalog, arguably the musicians true “art.”

The Who and Led Zeppelin are two bands that sit high atop the rock canon, and the “classic rock” playlists. They were there when rock ’n’ roll became a stadium commodity, and continue to be highly influential for music lovers and musicians alike.

They also have hits on commercial classic-rock radio, and very few came from their must-own albums, that being Led Zeppelin’s “Physical Graffiti” and The Who’s “Quadrophenia.”

1975’s “Physical Graffiti” was Zeppelin’s sixth studio album. Zeppelin was much more than a band that may have been early purveyors of heavy metal. There’s some depth and diversity, all reflected on this double album. There’s dark rock, country blues, progressive rock and even cuts ripe for an alt-country cover, which proved Zeppelin to be more than a one-trick pony. The stand-outs re-

Bryant’s best Thursday: Singer-songwriter Bruce Cockburn, 7:30 p.m. $24/$29.

Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College, 1000 Rim Drive. Information: 247-7657.

Sunday: Irish Music Jam Session, 12:30 p.m. No cover. Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave. Information: 4031200.

main “Night Flight,” and “Down by the Seaside,” two songs that distance themselves from what links Zeppelin to armchair music fans. It’s a topnotch album, something that touts Zeppelin’s collective chops as a band that delivers an all-out package, exhibiting a level of influences.

1974’s “Quadrophenia” was also a sixth studio release, and The Who’s second rock opera behind “Tommy.”

It’s arguably the better album, a big rock record with recurring sounds and themes. While testament to the always-on songwriting of Pete Townsend, this is an album for drummers, as the power of Keith Moon comes out on every track; the drums are a lead instrument. It also allowed bass player John Entwistle to prove his musical worth, something that Townsend always touted, both with the bass and as an arranger.

It’s a story split into four parts written to reflect personalities of each member of The Who. In addition to its underlying tale, it remains an ambitious and daring rock record that reflects not only Townsend’s songwriting, but full orchestral and rock arrangement. Yet it’s the aggression and power throughout that makes The Who an early purveyor of punk rock. Stand-out tracks include all of them.

Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

6 | Thursday, March 24, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[sound]

.. nch. a R e ! at th k c dness Ba a M onth M d r i h Th r 25t a M y Frida mic hile

w Mean

What’s new The Thermals,“We Disappear” Available: Friday via Saddle Creek Records as a download, CD and LP. The Thermals are, if nothing else, consistent.

Hutch Harris (vocals, guitar) and Kathy Foster (bass, vocals) have been churning out rock records of the indie/punk-leaning variety every two to three years since their Sub Pop debut in 2003. That album, “More Parts Per Million,” was a scuzzier low-fi offering with Harris famously performing all parts himself and assembling a band around it to tour.

Since that debut, The Thermals released their second and third full-lengths for Sub Pop, a couple for Olympia, Washington, label Kill Rock Stars, and have now released their second long player for Saddle Creek Records of Omaha, Nebraska. Seven proper albums in all, released by three prominent indie/mid-indie record labels. All three labels suitable for their particular, consistent brand of rock ’n’ roll.

“We Disappear” has the telltale Thermals attributes of seemingly personal, sometimes politicized lyrics. Simple chorded progressions, check. Subtle dualing male/female vocals. Indeed. However, this latest album seems less disenchanted and angstridden as previous releases. There is more experimenting with noise, feedback, and delay. An excellent listen for the established fan or as an introduction to the band.

Recommended if you are a fan of Jawbreaker, Archers of Loaf or The Ponys

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— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu 223238

»»1. Joe Bonamassa, “Blues of Desperation”

»»4. 2Chainz, “Collegrove”

»»2. Birdy, “Beautiful Lies”

»»6. Bob Mould, “Patch The Sky”

»»3. Joy Formidable, “Hitch”

»»7. RJD2, “Dame Fortune”

»»5. Amon Amarth, “Jomsviking”

[conan tweets] If you’re a classic rock fan, and an insufferable snob, your favorite band is The Whom.

A lot of people want Ted Cruz to win, but are we ready for a President that’s a melting candle?

Sorry you didn’t win Best Picture, “Mad Max: Fury Road,” but if Trump wins the election, you can re-submit for “Best Documentary.”

I was very flattered to hear Chris Rock is preparing for his Oscar gig by studying photo negatives from the night I hosted the BET Awards.

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[Sartorial over-enthusiasm with Heather of Sideshow]

Style Fetish | Heather Narwid

Spotted: Neo-Victorian Goth Hannah Grant was creeping silently by on two-inch crepe soles, but I caught her in the stairwell to ask about her Neo-Victorian Goth style.

Hannah’s wool shirt has puffy, ruched sleeves in the design called “leg o’ mutton” that was popular at the turn of the 19th century and in the 1980s.

With a black bandanna, when do you ever not look perfect? Here, Hannah uses it with her baby-dreads and Betty Bangs for a cute workaday touch.

a lower neckline is nice with a short chain or choker).

Hannah’s eye makeup looked beautiful – all-over beige shadow with a copper shimmer. The neutral color toned down the sparklelicious glimmer and looked just right for a slightly glammy day-look.

The vintage ’70s/’80s skirt is a calico (tiny floral) print, popular in the 1800s and was commonly used in men’s shirts at the time, too.

Altogether, Hannah’s style choices blend into an interesting outfit. The creeper shoe keeps the outfit modern and edgy by providing a contrast to the antique feeling of the skirt.

A long necklace with pendant looks right with this outfit (with a higher neckline wear a longer necklace;

From where comes this young woman’s late 1800s vibe? It seems that we generally go for retro styles

from eras we didn’t live through ourselves, in Hannah’s case the 1980s and 1880s. I love the idea of harvesting the shapes, patterns and styles we appreciate from eras a century apart to cultivate a personal style that looks uniquely Now. We 21st century folk are lucky to have millennia of fashion history to reference and re-create, time-traveling through our closets.

Heather Narwid owns Sideshow, a vintage and modern clothing store in Durango. The shop will be reopening soon at a new location at 208 County Road 250 at 32nd Street, where they will be for next 1,000 years.

»» That sole has soul.

Hannah Grant likes to shop at the La Plata County Humane Society thrift store because she knows the money goes toward helping the animals. Creepers are perennial classics for men or women. They provide comfy, stable height to shorties, come in lots of two-tone designs and work with lots of different styles for men and women. Hannah told me her long skirts and creepers are sort of her uniform for life. I love her peds and fishnets – gotta be able to rock the ’nets without sweaty feet. »» Grant works in downtown Durango at Earthbound Trading Co. and says they embrace and encourage her unique style. She described the shop as a “feminine and fast-paced environment that’s all about hodgepodging.” That phrase is also an apt description of Hannah’s style, inspired by and combining the looks of the 1950s and neoVictorian Gothic.

Heather Narwid/DGO

8 | Thursday, March 24, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Session season has arrived. Here are some to start with

T

he first day of spring saw me scooting down the mountain without a shirt on and getting my first sunburn of the year.

And with temperatures pushing 70 and bright, sunshiney days, it’s definitely and finally session season. Session beers have been on the rise the last few years with brewers across the country, from Dogfish Head in the East to Stone in the West, all kinds of breweries have rolled out beers that can be consumed by the six-pack.

A session beer is not new; it dates back to the peak of the industrial revolution when laws on working hours started being restricted and workers were permitted certain hours in which to drink and had to return to work with a clear head. Workers would then choose beers of a lower ABV so that they could drink during the entirety of their break and still return to work. In recent years, craft brewers have started brew-

ing to the same idea: brew a beer that can be drank for a few hours and still allow the drinker to maintain their sobriety. I took a day off this week to try a few and have some great recommendations and reviews of beers that can be drank quickly and easily but still pack a ton of flavor and character.

Personally, I think beer that’s supposed to be drank fresh should be canned. It saves yourself and the world a load of trouble. Glass is hard to recycle, hard to pack out when camping or hiking, and impossible to take on the river.

Even though Left Hand’s Introvert Session IPA is in a bottle, it’s still a notable session beer. With a thick, sturdy white head that lasts forever and a beautiful orange color, I was a bit sad that the bottle had expired (Check your dates, liquor stores!) and had a significant haze, but this didn’t translate into a lack of flavor or aroma. Distinct apricot

and pineapple notes on the nose with a soft hop bitterness and light cracker maltyness, it goes down smooth and refreshing.

Another beer in a bottle that gets a pass is Hoppy Birthday by Alpine Brewing out of San Diego. Really awesome aromas of clementine and grapefruit rind with a great toasted malt and deep piney resin flavor do not disappoint anyone looking for IPA flavor in their session beer. And with a nice orange glow and great white foam, it looks good, too.

The only beer on this list that isn’t an IPA, is 5:00 Afternoon Ale from Renegade Brewing in Denver.

This slightly hazy yellow beer has a subtle head and soft carbonation.

It has the aroma of lemon zest and sourdough bread, with a floral wheat malt flavor that still finishes clean and refreshing. Because it’s in a can, I can definitely see myself taking a few of these on the river come summertime.

Ultimately, and because this isnt’

about patting myself on the back, I reluctantly have to mention Ska’s Rudie. With all kinds of citrus fruits, slight amounts of piney, resiny goodness, and beautiful amber color, it’s my favorite session beer. It seriously is the best beer to take on the river because it’s loaded with hops and any trace amounts of river water spilled into the top from going through rapids with make itself known.

The best part of a session beer is the ability to slay a lot of beers, so please, mix it up, try a lot of different beer. Find out the best ones to shotgun. Discover the best hot dog and session beer pairing. Soak up as much of the flavor these beers and the Colorado sun have to offer.

Robert Alan Wendeborn puts the bubbles in the beer at Ska Brewing Co. His first book of poetry, The Blank Target, was published this past spring by The Lettered Streets Press and is available at Maria’s Bookshop. robbie@skabrewing.com

Illustration by David Holub/DGO

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[drink]

Apparently this is a thing:

White whiskey Whiskey isn’t white, it’s brown. Except when it’s not.

Clear liquor tends to dominate booze sales, but most people don’t know about the silky delights of white whiskey. If you don’t enjoy brown liquor but you’re a vodka devotee, you’re in luck! Michael McCardell opened Durango Craft Spirits one year ago, after living in town for 26 years; he makes bourbon, vodka and a light whiskey christened Mayday Moonshine.

“There’s six breweries here, so we felt we needed a good distillery,” McCardell said. All of his liquors are tied to stories of Durango’s history. The moonshine is named for the Mayday Mines in the La Platas. “In the early 1900s, prohibition hit Colorado four years before the rest of the country, and Colorado was the second state to allow women the Jerry McBride/BCI vote – then women voted »» Michael McCardell, owner of Durango Craft Spirits in prohibition!” said McDistillery and Tasting Room, a grain-to-glass distillery Cardell. “So a lot of mines producing vodka and white whiskey, checks on his aging in the San Juans became bourbon at his business on Friday. hideaways for small distilleries. That story is one of the first that made me want to open this distillery.”

Mayday Moonshine is 90 proof, mixed with other grains to smooth out the flavor.

McCardell is proud to use ONLY regional ingredients, like non-GMO white corn. His stuff goes “grain to glass, not like one of these so-called craft distilleries that buy their spirits, bottle it and stamp a Colorado name on it,” said McCardell. “There’s no bullshit here.” The product is only available in the state of Colorado.

This trend is actually nothing new – white whiskey has been around forever. “It started trending again three or four years ago,” said McCardell. “It’s so drinkable and versatile. You can mix it with a coke and it tastes like rum and coke. We do a margarita, because it can have a little taste of tequila to it. We do a mojito.”

Customers were showing up at the distillery wanting whiskey – but whiskey has to age for years in barrels. White whiskey doesn’t have to age, however, so it’s much quicker to sell; “We can keep the cash flow going while we continue to age the bourbon,” said McCardell. His bourbon will be ready by Christmas of 2017.

He also makes a vodka called Soiled Dove, a Victorian term for “prostitute.” There were many soiled doves working at the Strater Hotel back in the day. McCardell is passionate about Durango’s rich history, using the Animas Museum as a resource in plunging deeper into local stories.

“It’s like selling candy,” said McCardell. “You tell the story; they taste the spirit. And usually the response is something like ‘holy shit, this is good.’”

—— Anya Jaremko-Greenwold DGO Staff Writer

10 | Thursday, March 24, 2016 •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[pages] This week’s Maria’s staff pick

Maria’s bestsellers

Trouble Boys: The True Story of The Replacements, by Bob Mehr

March 12 to March 19

We all know how the usual story goes of a rock band’s rise to stardom: it starts out in basements and dive bars until a record label executive stumbles upon them, leading to a handshake deal that takes the band on a roller coaster ride of bohemian splendor and squalor, all the way to the halls of rock ’n’ roll fame. But when it comes to the Minneapolis group The Replacements, take that story and multiply the madness by a thousand. After spending nearly 10 years researching the band’s history, Bob Mehr’s debut release, Trouble Boys, reveals the massive highs and lows that went into creating one of the most notorious, cathartic rock bands of the American indie music scene.

The book begins with a prologue that takes place years after the band’s breakup, during the funeral of Bob Stinson, guitarist and founding member of the group – a moment that forces the rest of the band to reconcile such a tragic loss amid fractured relationships among each other. Set against an ominous background, the story doesn’t get any prettier from there.

The story of The Replacements happens alongside the development of the independent music scene that would explode in the 1990s onward.

Although the band never embraced a DIY ethic (like their contemporaries Hüsker Dü), they crafted a raw, garage rock sound that eventually laid the foundation for the alternative/college rock scene. Much like the band members wanted to avoid the options of jail, death or janitor, the band was also reluctant to be pigeonholed to a certain genre like punk rock. As Mehr amusingly points out early in the book, any time their shows became crowded with studded-and-spiked punks, they would turn their setlist into a show full of cover songs consisting of ’60s bubblegum pop and the blues just to drive away that crowd of macho punk rockers. And yet, such complicated desires and relationships proved to be the band’s downfall. Despite the unyielding commitment of their manager Peter Jespersen to keep it all together, the band’s explosive, confrontational, drug-addled attitude toward record label executives and – well, everyone

»»1. Ready Player One, by Ernest Cline (Paperback)

»»4. Descent, by Tim Johnston (Paperback)

»»8. The Maze Runner,

by James Dashner (Paperback)

»»2. Rose the Fierce

»»5. The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho (Paperback)

»»9. H is for Hawk, by Helen Macdonald (Paperback)

(Grandma Chung),

by Hwaja Chung (Paperback)

»»3. All the Light We Cannot See, by An-

they encountered, really – all of that would contribute to the inevitable demise of a group the world couldn’t tame.

A read-through of Mehr’s massive band bio reveals the heart and soul he poured into relaying the sincere, sordid history of a band that embodied uncontrollable heart and soul. As painful and grim as many aspects of this rock story contains, there is also a number of absurdly humorous moments, such as their banishment from “Saturday Night Live” in the mid-’80s; hanging out with Bob Dylan and Keith Richards in the early ’90s; befriending the legendary yet obscure Alex Chilton, whom they would immortalize in song; an arduous and unbearable tour with Tom Petty and – a favorite of mine – a drunken jam session with Tom Waits while recording their 1989 album, “Don’t Tell A Soul” (possibly the only high point of that nerve wracking recording session).

In the end, The Replacements were a band that wanted everything and nothing at the same time. For every step forward, they took five drug-andbooze-fueled stumbles back. And although they constantly struggled with the wounds of alcoholism, addiction and abuse, they were able to churn out timeless albums that today’s indie rock scene owes its existence to. Barbed-wire souls who can’t quit rock ’n’ roll. The band’s legacy is still a unique addition to the canon of rock music, and Mehr’s book a wonderful addition to the canon of music biography.

— Kirbie Bennett

by Brene Brown (Paperback)

thony Doerr (Hardcover)

»»6. Smile, by Raina Tel- »»10. Me Before You, gemeier (Paperback)

by Jojo Moyes (Paperback »»7. Daring Greatly,

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Alice in Glamour Land A conversation with Durango’s pioneering drag queen

By Anya Jaremko-Greenwold DGO Staff Writer

M

en have been dressing up as women for a very long time. Female impersonation dates back to ancient Roman literature and classical Chinese theater. It was not considered proper for women to perform on stage, so men had to play every part in theater productions, even the lady roles (You’ve seen “Shakespeare in Love.”). A “drag queen” is typically defined as a man impersonating a woman for the sake of performance.

Some do it professionally in the entertainment industry, while others do it for fun and creative expression.

It’s easy to confuse drag with transgenderism, but they are two different beasts. Both involve crossdressing as the opposite gender; but most transgender people feel innately that they belong in the body of another »» Ammon gender, and swap so as to feel Swofford, aka comfortable, not to entertain. SomeAlice Glamoure. times drag queens are gay men, but Courtesy of Ammon Swofford not always. It’s additionally possible for a man to be both transgender AND a drag queen – identity is complex and varied. Drag “kings” exist, too; these are women who perform dressed as men.

Cross-dressing and drag performances occurred underground for much of the 20th century, as homosexual acts were criminalized. Then the notorious Stonewall riots broke out in 1969 at New York’s Stonewall Inn, one of the city’s only gay bars at the time; police raided the bar to arrest homosexual patrons and the crowd fought back.

The battle lasted six days, signaling the start of the gay-rights movement in the United States. The visibility of LGBT communities – drag queens included – increased substantially in the late ’60s.

Ammon Swofford, aka Alice Glamoure (his drag name), will be hosting DRAGrango, the first ever drag competition in Durango. It’s a fundraising event for Durango Pride (the annual festival takes place in June), also featuring performances by the Haus of FishCandy from Denver, a drag group founded by Ammon. We spoke with Ammon about how he found his “drag” living in Durango, and common misconceptions about his lifestyle he hopes to correct.

12 | Thursday, March 24, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

What’s DRAGrango all about?

We’re trying to express diversity through drag. I live in Denver now, and there’s a huge drag scene here. But this is Durango’s first drag competition, which is a really cool phenomenon. I think all of these competitions have been inspired by RuPaul and his “Drag Race” TV Series. It’s like “America’s Next Top Model” for drag queens. Plus, it’s an inspirational message. Just another fun outlet to express yourself.

How did you begin performing in drag?

I danced in high school. But my drag was developed in college at Fort Lewis through Dance Commotion (a college dance club). In 2008, I did a Beyoncé dance routine as myself, but wearing a dress with heels. At the time, there was Salt Fire Circus, the Bare Bones Burlesque in Durango, and in 2009, I auditioned for them in drag. I did a really saunter-y circus routine to Britney Spears’ “Circus,” but I didn’t get accepted.

So I was like, ‘You know what? I’m going to do this for Dance Commotion.’ 2009 was when I first went on stage as Alice Glamoure, my drag name. That’s where it all began. I love glamour, and I’ve always been infatuated with “Alice in Wonderland,” how she goes into this new world and meets so many colorful characters and creatures.

When I was growing up, people referred to me as Prince or RuPaul and I was offended, like – ‘Who are these people?’ But now I feel so honored to be compared to them.

What was the LGBT scene in Durango like when you lived here?

I was part of Prism at FLC, the GSA (gaystraight alliance) on campus. I was in Dance Commotion, and started my own student organization, Front Row Artistry. I felt very accepted and comfortable with who I was. College is when you find all that out.

I’m really excited to come back and start the conversation in Durango again. I’ve never hosted a show by myself. I sometimes get nervous; but there’s no right or wrong, as long as you keep the audience engaged, happy and included. Give ’em a show. I’ve been doing these performance tours since last year, when I founded the Haus of Fishcandy, and I’ve been back a bunch of times to do shows in town. Our first venture was Snowdown last year for Steampunk. This time, I’m bringing one of my signature choreographies and songs for DRAGrango; I always do “Mein Herr” from “Cabaret” the musical in new venues who haven’t seen me. “Cabaret” was the last show I did in Durango at the DAC. What else are you working on?

I’m currently in a musical called “The Wild Party” by Andrew Lippa. And I just finished “Mary Poppins” in January; I played a statue who comes to life with a Continued on Page 14

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From Page 13

little solo and a dance scene. Every musical I’m in now, I try to add a drag aspect. That’s what I do – I’m a drag entrepreneur. I also have a drag company, and I’m trying to create a production empire. My nonprofit is AM.SWOProductions. Within my production company, I have little chapters and departments; for example, FishCandy Theater is a theater troupe, and last fall we did a dance workshop. Then Haus of Fishcandy is my drag; there’s eight of us in the house and two of my “sisters” are coming with me to Durango for our show at Moe’s (drag queen bingo) on Thursday and DRAGrango on Saturday. We debuted our house last year for Pride in Denver, and it’s been fun branding our drag performances.

What are some common misconceptions about the drag lifestyle?

If I’m downtown with my drag sisters, close-minded people will say, ‘Look at those trannies!’ But transgender people are completely different, in my opinion – they live as the other gender. Whereas I’m just putting on a performance. This is a character. It’s fun to explain to these individuals, like, ‘I am a man dressed as a woman. I have makeup on, I did a performance.’ I like having that illusion, and then being able to take it off at night. People have asked me, ‘Do you want to be a woman?’ But I like who I am! I like the opportunity to perform as a female illusionist, dress up and have fun. Usually after performances, my feet are a little sore. [Laughs] I’m not 18 anymore.

What do you love about drag?

With my theater and business background, I like to put the two together. I’m definitely an entrepreneur, and doing things in drag for me is a lot more easy and fun. I can be sassy and witty and the life of the party.

»» Ammon Swofford, aka Alice Glamoure (his drag name), will be hosting DRAGrango, the first ever drag competition in Durango.

Courtesy of Ammon Swofford

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Go get your

drag on

»» A first in Durango, drag competition

comes to the Strater to benefit Pride

By Anya Jaremko-Greenwold DGO Staff Writer

DRAGrango is the first event of its kind in our fair town; a drag competition and fundraiser for the 2016 Durango Pride Festival. People of any age and gender can participate in the competition at the Strater, and one drag king and one queen will be crowned victorious by the end of the night. Former Durangoan Ammon Swofford is hosting as “Alice Glamoure,” his feminine drag persona; Swofford was actually the first drag queen to emerge on the local scene several years back, when he attended Fort Lewis College.

The event is family friendly, thus all performers are asked to keep it respectable. “We wanted it to be open, so that if high-schoolers or college students who are under 18 wanted to come, they could,” said Kristi Dean, coordinator for Durango Pride 2016 and board member of the Four Corners Alliance for Diversity.

This year will mark Durango’s seventh annual pride festival, although the LGBT community has been active here for much longer. “I think there still needs to be some education for certain concerns, like transgendered people and what their lives are like,” said Dean. The Rainbow Youth Center gives local kids a safe place to go after school, and several Durango high schools have gay-straight alliances. “It’s all about trying to co-exist in our environment, making it a nice place for everybody to live,” said Dean.

If you are fiercely competitive and looking to win, you gotta make a personal connection with your fans.

“It’s all about getting the audience to interact with you,” said Dean.

“Audience appeal. Get them to love you on stage, just like in any other

GO! What: DRAGrango, Durango Pride’s first drag competition When: 7 p.m. doors, 8 p.m. show, Saturday Where: Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. Cost: General admission seats $25, first come first serve, can be purchased from HenryStraterTheater. com What: THE DAFFODILDOS aka drag queen bingo via AM.SWOProductions featuring Alice Glamoure

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Durango Pride is also concerned with social justice. “We’ve got the marriage ballot, but we want to continue and maintain that through the new election,” said Dean. “It’s brand new, and could easily be taken away.

We want people to understand that it’s still what we need.” The purpose of a Pride Festival is to celebrate inclusivity and promote diversity, allowing townspeople the chance to support Durango’s thriving LGBT community – even if you aren’t a part of it yourself.

The Pride Fest’s next event in May will be an even bigger fundraiser, for which local artists are creating night stands to be auctioned off. The corresponding gala has been dubbed “A One Night Stand,” and tickets are available now.

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[movies]

‘Hybrids’:

»» Movie with Durango ties

screening at Allen Theaters

By Anya Jaremko-Greenwold DGO Staff Writer

It’s an age-old tale: A vampire has fallen in love with a witch, but sadly their union is frowned upon (like Romeo

a vampire-witch love story for the ages

and Juliet before them). Of course, love conquers all. The Count and his bride run away together and breed a pair of “hybrid” kids (part-vampire, partwitch), making up one of the strangest nuclear families you’ve seen in a while.

Next week, former Durango resident Tony Schweikle will be screening his movie “Hybrids,” a campy family com-

edy appropriate for all ages. Last month, “Hybrids” was featured at the Sedona Film Festival, and this past November it won “Best Feature Comedy” at the 20th Int’l Family Film Festival in Hollywood.

We spoke with Schweikle about working with his veteran cast of actors, and asked his advice for young people with budding filmmaking aspirations.

GO!

How did you come up with the idea for “Hybrids”?

It’s a family comedy with a twist. Blaz and his sister Velana come from a very different kind of mixed marriage: Their father is a vampire and their mother is a witch. I wanted to address the problems of intolerance and bigotry and racism – I grew up in a neighborhood in Chicago that had all of those things.

Especially now, our country is going through divisiveness. And I knew this story had been told before by other filmmakers, so mine had to be different. The genres of horror, vampires, witches and zombies are popular now.

So in “Hybrids,” a young vampire and a young witch have met, fallen in love, and run away from home because their parents didn’t want them to be together. Then they had two “hybrid” children.

I wrote and produced “Hybrids.” My director Tony Randel had never done a comedy before; he’s actually famous for “Hellbound: Hellraiser 2” and other horror films. This took me a couple years of research. We live in Italy seven months out of the year, and witches are big there. So I actually discovered a real witch, Aradia, from the old days – that’s the name of the mother character in the film. She was a historicallyknown witch from Benevento, Italy.

Then I thought, ‘Who would she be intolerant of? Oh, a vampire!’ The way we wound up with zombies is because the young character Blaz goes to school to be a filmmaker, and winds up falling in love with a girl who is making a student film about zombies.

Tell me about your cast.

Paul Sorvino is a wonderful human being and a real veteran. As a producer, he drove me crazy; we’d be ready to shoot a scene, and he insisted on rehearsing and rehearsing. This was a

What: “Hybrids” When: 7:30 p.m. Wednesday Where: Allen Theatres - Durango Stadium 9, 900 Trans Lux Dr. Tickets: $11 general ddmission To purchase tickets, visit https://www. tugg.com/events/89893.

I knew the only way I’d ever be able to work on another feature film was if I made it myself. That’s what started me writing screenplays.

Photo by Cameron Doan

»» “Hybrids” writer and producer Tony Schweikle (left) and Mojean Aria, who plays one of the hybrid children. small-budget film that was self-funded, so it was my money being spent. But it paid off; when we shot the scenes, they had rehearsed so well that we didn’t need to do a lot of takes. Actually, Burt Reynolds was on tap to play the father vampire, but then right before we finished the contract he got sick and couldn’t do it. We offered Paul a script; and unbeknownst to us, he accepted and did the film for minimal money because he always wanted to play Bela Lugosi! It was serendipity.

Aradia the mother witch is played by Carolyn Hennesy, who is known for her continued role on “General Hospital.”

And the young actors are fantastic, too; they were just beginning, and now their careers are going crazy.

There are some smaller roles, too, for example Tatanka Means; he’s so wellknown, every Native American in the Four Corners region would come to see the movie if they knew he was in it.

He has a featured role on “Saints and Strangers,” the National Geographic

show now.

How did you get into film production and script writing? Did you go to film school?

No. I moved to Durango in 1972 when I was in my 30s. I got a job at Purgatory as the photographer; I was one of the top ski photographers around at that time. This movie “Avalanche” came to Durango – it’s now a cult classic, done by cult filmmaker Roger Corman – and I would up getting hired because I could take stills and ski with their cinematographers. After that, I started getting jobs as a location scout and manager. I worked on a lot of great movies, including “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.” Then I took a job with the Colorado Film Commission for four or five years, but eventually got burned out with government and went back into production – and I was out of the loop! Especially because of my age. I loved the business so much, and

Any advice for youngsters who dream of becoming directors or screenwriters?

Go to school. I’m serious. Nowadays, there’s a lot of universities with great film departments – even at Boulder, they have a good one. They’re all over the country. Your next step is to get a non-paying internship with some company in Los Angeles or New York.

Forget every place else – I was lucky, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. But that doesn’t usually happen. You have to go to LA or New York. Those internships work out really well for people; if you stick with it, you’ll generally end up getting into the business. The most important thing is to pick something you want to do.

If you want to produce, work on that.

If you want to direct, work on that. If you want to be an actor, do that. You pick something and go in that direction. Once you achieve it, then you can branch out. So many actors are directing and producing, or directors are acting. But you have to get in there first.

Pick a category; ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ That’s how they used to put it. If you are scattered, you’re never going to get anywhere.

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[ movies ] 45 Years Playing at the Gaslight (Wednesday only) Rating: R Genre: Drama Directed by:

Andrew Haigh Written by:

Andrew Haigh Runtime: 1 hr. 33 min.

Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 97% Synopsis: There is just one week

until Kate Mercer’s 45th wedding anniversary. But then a letter arrives for her husband. The body of his first love has been discovered, frozen and preserved in the icy glaciers of the Swiss Alps.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Playing at Stadium 9

Clay Enos/Warner Bros. Pictures via AP

»» Ben Affleck, left, and Henry Cavill are superheroes in “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.”

And you thought Ben Affleck would suck

Rating: PG-13

By Richard Roeper

Genre: Comedy

The Chicago Sun-Times

Directed by:

Kirk Jones Written by:

Nia Vardalos Runtime: 1 hr.

34 min.

Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 40% Synopsis: A Portokalos family secret

will bring the characters back together for an even Greeker wedding.

The Lady in the Van Playing at Animas City Theatre Rating: PG-13 Genre: Drama Directed by:

Nicholas Hytner Written by:

Alan Bennett Runtime: 1 hr. 44 min.

Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 92% Synopsis: The story of the relation-

ship between Alan Bennett and Miss Shepherd, a woman “temporarily” parked her van in Bennett’s driveway and lives there for 15 years.

WARNING! MINOR SPOILERS TO FOLLOW. Relax, I’m withholding 90 percent of the surprises, I promise.

About a half-hour into “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice,” I was starting to feel this could be one of the best superhero movies of the last 20 years. Alas, we go from spectacular to solid, from great to good.

That said, Zack Snyder’s showdown of two great DC Comics icons is hardly a disappointment .

“Dawn of Justice” is a dark-palette feast for the eyes, with some memorable set pieces, just the right amount of dark humor and strong performances.

In an opening flashback to 1982, young master Wayne and his parents are exiting a movie theater when tragedy strikes. The scene is filled with some haunting images, e.g., Bruce’s mother’s pearls getting snagged over the barrel of a gun in her last breathing moments.

Cut to now and a title card reading: “MANKIND IS INTRODUCED TO THE SUPERMAN” I love that. We’re plunged into a breathtaking sequence in which we see the final battle between Superman (Henry Cavill) and Gen. Zod in which half of Metropolis was lev-

Batman v.

Superman Playing at Stadium 9 Also available in 3-D with surcharge Rating: PG-13 Genre: Action & adventure,

science fiction & fantasy Directed by: Zack Snyder Written by: David S. Goyer,

Chris Terrio Runtime: 2 hr. 31 min.

Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 41%

eled – but it’s from the viewpoint of Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck), who now has headquarters in Metropolis.

Snyder films the scene with gritty realism. Even though we know Superman was on the side of good and Zod was evil on that fateful day, Bruce Wayne and nearly all of the residents of Metropolis had no idea what was transpiring.

Now here’s where “Dawn of Justice” gets a little murky. It seems as if Metropolis is practically a twin city with Gotham. In a scene where Bruce Wayne shows up at a party hosted by young Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg), Lex says, “You should hop over the harbor more often.”

About 18 months later, Superman is established as a good guy. Others are concerned about Superman’s limitless powers. Look at all the collateral damage that occurs whenever he swoops in and saves the day. Holly Hunter delivers strong, sharp-edged work as a Kentucky senator who wants to hold hearings to see if Superman should be held accountable for deaths that have occurred when he’s swooping in to save the day.

Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne/Batman is angry, frustrated and exhausted after 20 years of battling criminals in Gotham (and presumably Metropolis). At this point, Batman is in full vigilante mode, literally branding criminals with the Batman logo before serving them up to authorities.

Here’s what rocks. We all know Batman would be no match one-onone against Superman. “Dawn of Justice” figures out a way to level the playing field and then some.

All the Internet resistance to Affleck being cast as Batman seems silly when you see him sharing the screen with Cavill, as Affleck is easily the superior actor. There’s not a moment when we don’t believe Affleck as Bruce Wayne or as Batman.

When it sings, “Dawn of Justice” is a wonder. When it drags, it still looks good and offers hints of a better scene just around the corner.

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[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

Are you a doobie downer? Here’s how to roll a joint like a pro Breaking Weed News!!!

Shout outs to the Supreme Court of the United States for refusing to hear Nebraska and Oklahoma’s case against Colorado’s legalization of cannabis. Another step, another step ...

N

ow, to the business at hand. There are a lot of ways to get high: bowls, bongs, blunts, vaporizers, rigs, apples, aluminum cans, chillums and about 50 or so others, but nothing carries that old-school-meets-new-school feel quite like a joint.

Before we get rolling (as it were) on the topic, allow me this “Get Off My Lawn” interlude.” If you don’t know how to roll a joint, don’t offer to roll a damn joint. If you want to be part of the process, offer to grind or break up the bud. Then, grind or tear the crap out of that bud to approximately 100 parts per square inch. If you’re doing this by hand, it can get to be a tiny bit of a PITA, but, be a friggin’ champ for a few minutes, then lean back, and smoke that J. The entire technology of the joint is geared around a burning rate that is relatively slow and as consistent as humanly possible. A joint needs to be packed pretty tightly, but packed gently.

Think of kissing with your eyes open and how you would brush a lip with a couple fingers or a thumb. If the bone you roll is too loose, it will burn erratically – slower where there’s more paper, way damn quicker where there’s less and will probably go out a couple times. One way to avoid this is to have your broken-up bud be of a fairly consistent size (super easy with a grinder, easy enough by hand). If that baby’s too tight, good luck getting airflow enough to keep it lit longer than 1-Mississippi; this problem arises when the person spinning the doob is a strangler (you know the type) or when someone takes the

fully-rolled J and pinches one end while shaking it down to pack it: that’s a solid technique, but, just play it mellow.

I, being one who took many moons to figure out how to roll a truly proper J, realize that you must crawl before you can walk, so here are a few basic tips to get you rolling: »»1. Bigger papes are more forgiving, 1¼ or larger size is recommended for beginners. »»2. Crinkle/rough up the paper before starting as it lessens the slickness and gives the paper a little bit of grip. »»3. Fold the pape upward with a decently solid seam so that the bottom (ungummed) edge makes a little V ending around its middle. »»4. When you pour the (perfectly ground) bud into the paper, leave a little bit of space at each end in order to minimize spillage. »»5. Once the bud has filled the appropriate space, lightly pinch the pape between your thumbs and middle fingers (Your hands will look like the “b” and “d” of a gang sign), then use your index fingers to begin the spinning. »»6. Repeat the process described in Step 5 another four or five times. »»7. As you approach the point when all the paper has wrapped itself around itself and you’re ready to seal the deal, pause. I’ve discovered that the joint seals much easier if you lick and stick the middle of the gummed edge first, then deal with each end individually. Wet only the tippety tip of your tongue and use it to wet approximately 5 to 7.5 percent in each direction from the

center of your now almost completed joint; this allows you the flexibility to adjust each side as necessary to have a consistently tight bone all the way through. Don’t worry if it’s a little fatter in the middle and narrower at the ends – it’s a doobie, not a dang Lucky Strike. »»8. To paraphrase Method Man, “Light that ... ummmm ... joint. Smoke it.”

And that, DGO, is how you roll a joint. Now (and here’s the kicker), go practice. Start rolling one, take it apart, (do this over a plate or something because you’re going to drop it at some point), reroll it. Do that a few times, then smoke some more.

Thennnnn ...

Roll another while high. And unroll, reroll etc. etc., because it’s realistic practice for how you’re going to apply this newly developed skill.

Now, let’s all celebrate this week’s wonderful weed news and burn one for the SCOTUS. Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com

Animas Herbal, your Cannabis Connoisseurs 1111 CAMINO DEL RIO #5 970.385.8622 ANIMASHERBAL.COM

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18 | Thursday, March 24, 2016 •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[review]

[Netflix and chill — 420 edition]

‘Shrek 2’ son Prince Charming; Charming has luscious blond hair, but he’s cowardly and suspiciously effeminate. In an attempt to set things right, Harold hires Puss in Boots, an infamous fairy tale killer, to off Shrek; but Puss is just a kitty in shoes with a Spanish accent who befriends Shrek instead of murdering him.

“Shrek” (2001) was irreverent, clever and chockfull of pop culture references. But “Shrek 2” (2004) is the rare sequel that might be even better than its predecessor. This follow-up challenges the bonds established between characters in the first film, and more potently mocks the sanctity of fairy tales. If you want to get stoned and lose yourself in fanciful fable, but still crave a sardonic bite that Disney princesses won’t quite satisfy, you’ve come to the right place.

Sour Tangie What is it?

As you can probably guess, Sour Tangie is the 80 percent sativa offspring of East Coast Sour Diesel and Crockets multi-award-winning Tangie. There are two dominant phenotypes in the U.S. that individually express the best qualities of each parent. The one whose traits lean toward the Tangie parent is not only the best of the two, but fortunately for us, it’s the most popular.

Shrek (Mike Myers) and his bride Fiona (Cameron Diaz) have returned from their honeymoon and receive an invitation to a celebratory ball, courtesy of Fiona’s royal parents (who are human). The King and Queen of Far Far Away (ha) are less than thrilled to discover their daughter has wed an ornery ogre, and though Fiona knows Shrek is the guy for her, she still craves her parents’ approval. (Don’t we all?) Shrek begins to fear his humble, grimy lifestyle not suitable for the high-born girl he loves. The central drama of “Shrek 2” is the pair’s marriage – what happens after happily ever after?

The effects By the time you’ve finished exhaling your first hit, you’ll already have noticed a mood-altering psychoactive effect that feels happy and relaxed. An uncontrollable smile appears after your second hit, and you’re well on your way to one of the best highs you’ll ever have. Sour Tangie is extremely cerebral, but there’s also a very relaxing upperbody high that goes with it. The experience is long lasting for a sativa, and the come down is so gentle you don’t even notice it.

Fiona’s dad Harold is waylaid by a local Fairy Godmother, who is also a manipulative social climber. Apparently, he has broken a promise that Fiona wed the Godmother’s

“Shrek 2” has far too many inventive allusions to list – blink and you’ll miss 12. The story’s fairy tale villains hang out in a seedy dive bar called The Poison Apple, drowning their sorrows with liquor; one of Cinderella’s evil stepsisters is the bartender (a transvestite) and Captain Hook tinkers on the piano. Far Far Away is lined with Beverly Hills-style mansions and the kingdom’s name is spelled out in the distant hills, a nod to the Hollywood sign. “Shrek 2” has no qualms about lambasting celebrity wealth and superficiality with riotous aplomb.

DGO Staff Writer

Come in for Some Spring Refreshments!

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The taste The inhale is lemon and tangerine, and the exhale is mostly orange that seems to linger on your taste buds.

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The final verdict I honestly like Sour Tangie more than either of her amazing parents. The high seems more balanced, and the experience is more uplifting. I really enjoyed it in small doses during the day. At over 20 percent THC, it doesn’t take much to feel nicely lifted, but just know if you push her, you’ll end up in a very happy comalike trance that lasts a few hours. This is the perfect springtime-in-Durango strain that will enhance a shopping trip down Main Avenue or hike in the foothills.

dgomag /dgomag @dgo_mag

—— Patrick Dalton Durango Recroom

—— Anya Jaremko-Greenwold

This Week’s Events THURSDAY 3/24 Ladies Night 2-1 Local Artist Night 5-8pm Open Mic and $3 pints FRIDAY 3/25 The Jauntee SATURDAY 3/26 Charlie Milo Trio The fun is always 600 Main Ave, Suite 210, Durango, CO balconybarandgrill.com · (970) 422-8008

BOOK YOUR NEXT PARTY HERE! email: allison@balconybarandgrill.com

Thursday, March 24, 2016 | 19

[love and sex]

Savage Love | Dan Savage

Physical, sexual compatibility important in healthy marriage I’m a 24-year-old male, married three years, monogamous. My wife and I are religious and were both virgins when we got married. I’m sexually frustrated with two things. (1) How can I get her to give me oral sex? (She has never given and I have never received oral sex. I regularly give her oral sex.)

She is afraid to try it, saying she’s not ready yet. About every six months, I bring it up and it leads to a fight. She is a germophobe, but I think she believes fellatio is done only in porn. (I used to look at porn, which nearly ended our then-dating relationship.) (2) I feel like I’m always giving and never receiving any type of affection: massages, kisses, caresses, you name it. It’s like having sex with a sex doll – no reciprocation. How do I broaden our sex life without making her feel like we’re in a porno?

— Sexually Frustrated If you don’t already have children – you don’t mention kids – please don’t have any, SF, at least not with your first wife.

You’re a religious person, SF, a lifestyle choice I don’t fully understand. But you’re also a sexual person, and that I do understand. And if you want a lifelong, sexually exclusive and sexually fulfilling relationship, then you must prioritize sexual compatibility during your search for the second Mrs. SF. Because your next marriage is likelier to survive for the long haul if you’re partnered with someone who is attracted to you physically and is aroused – roughly speaking – by the same sex acts, positions and fantasies you are.

In other words: Don’t marry someone and hope she likes sucking your dick.

You tried that, and it didn’t work. Find someone who likes sucking your dick and marry her.

I’m a straight woman in my early 30s, and I just don’t like receiving oral sex.

I love giving blowjobs and can orgasm from PIV sex, but I seem to be one of the few women who don’t enjoy guys

going down on me. I’m not uncomfortable with it, but it doesn’t get me off.

I also get wet easily, so it’s not like I need it as foreplay. As I’ve gotten older, and the guys I sleep with have gotten older, it seems like most want to spend a great deal of time down there. I’ve tried being up front about not liking it in general, but guys either get offended or double down and do it more because they assume I’ve never been with a guy who “could do it right.” Any ideas on how to handle this?

— Needs Oral Preference Explainer The observation you make regarding older straight guys – older straight guys are more enthusiastic about going down on women – is something I’ve heard from other female friends.

They couldn’t get guys to go down on them in their 20s, and they can’t get guys in their 30s and 40s to stop going down on them. (SF, above, is clearly an outlier.) The obvious solution to your dilemma, NOPE: Only [bleep] guys in their 20s.

Fan from Sweden here! Question: My fetish has no name. It is a “worshipping” fetish, for want of a better term, where I am the one being worshipped.

Not by one man, but all men of Earth.

The worshipping itself, while sexual, is not bound to my body parts. It would be great to have this named.

— Lack Of Vocabulary Enervates My Experiences A year ago, I would’ve diagnosed you with “caligulaphilia,” LOVEME, after the Roman emperor Caligula, who considered himself a living god, and -philia, the go-to suffix meaning “abnormal appetite or liking for.” But these days, I’d say you were suffering from a bad case of “trumpophilia.”

I’m a 24-year-old female who met my

26-year-old boyfriend five months ago through Fetlife. We do not share the same fetish, but we have other overlapping interests and he is lovely, smart and funny. He has a diaper and incontinence fetish. Not my jam, but I’m GGG. The issue: He has the most one-dimensional sexuality I have ever seen. He can get off only in the missionary position, with a diaper under us, and with incontinence dirty talk. Even with all of the above, its difficult to get him to orgasm. And it’s only very recently that we’ve been able to have penetrative sex – because he was used to getting off with his hand and a diaper – always with diapers under us and with lots and lots and lots of pee talk. But there’s only so long I can talk about losing control and peeing myself before I lose interest in the activities at hand.

I do not mind getting him off this way sometimes, but this does absolutely nada for me and it’s the only way he gets off. He’s otherwise an amazing person, but I’m getting frustrated.

We’ve talked about how my needs aren’t being met, and he claims he’s done standard vanilla before and managed to satisfy his partners. I’ve yet to experience it myself, however, and I’d really like to be able to enjoy some vanilla sex – let alone my kinks!

– with him!

— Please, I’m Sexually Saddened Your lovely, smart boyfriend is a lousy, selfish lay, PISS, and you two aren’t sexually compatible. DTMFA. I am a 26-year-old guy and I have an overwhelming foot fetish. I cannot help but think about the male foot every hour of every day. I often find myself pushing boundaries with attractive male friends and acquaintances to satisfy my urges, which has caused me a lot of stress and anxiety. I’m obsessed with the idea of offering some of my friends and acquaintances foot massages, but I

just don’t know how to bring up the subject, given my mixed experiences.

A lot of people think of foot rubs as intimate and believe they should be restricted to romantic relationships.

While I’ve been lucky on very random occasions, I’ve had some [bleepups]. I asked a gay friend whether he would like a foot massage, but he declined – and while he was polite about it in the initial exchange, he has since ignored me. I asked a straight guy, and he considered it but never followed through, and I feel weird about asking him again. I told another straight guy who was shocked that I would ever ask him such a thing, but he still talks to me and makes light of the incident. Whereas another guy unfriended me on Facebook after I messaged him and told him I liked his feet. What should I do? Is there a proper way to ask to rub someone’s feet? It’s not like I’m asking to suck on people’s toes.

— Crazed About Lads’ Feet You remind me of those straight guys who send unsolicited dick pics to women they barely know – they don’t do it because it never works, they do it because it works on rare/random occasions. But you have to ask yourself if those rare/random instances when an attractive male friend allowed you to perv on their feet – the handful of times you’ve gotten a yes – are worth the sacrificing of all the friendships you’ve lost.

Foot rubs are a form of intimacy, particularly when performed by foot fetishists, and you’ve gotta stop pestering your hot friends about their feet.

There are tons of other foot fetishists out there—most male, loads gay, tons online. Go find some fellow foot pervs and swap rubs with them.

Dan Savage is a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist writing for The Stranger in Seattle. Contact him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter and listen to his podcast every week at savagelovecast.com

20 | Thursday, March 24, 2016 •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening]

[movies]

Thursday

Pee-wee’s back – and he’s awesome

Tim Sullivan, 5:30 p.m. Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Salsa dance lessons followed by Salsa Night, 6:30-7:30 p.m., $10, Wild

Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 799-8832.

Robby Overfield, 7 p.m., Office Spirito-

rium, 699 Main Ave. An Evening with Bruce Cockburn,

7:30 p.m., $29/$24, Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College, durangoconcerts.com.

Drag Queen Beer Bingo, 8 p.m., Moe’s,

937 Main Ave., 259-9018.

Karaoke with DJ Crazy Charlie, 9 p.m.,

Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 3752568.

Karaoke, 9 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Friday Donny Johnson, 5:30 p.m. Diamond Belle

Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Dust Burley, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699

Main Ave. Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Red Eyed Djinn, 8:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m., Billy

Goat Saloon, 39848 U.S. Highway 160, Gem Village.

Rob Webster, 9 p.m.-1 a.m., Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200, theirishembassypub.com.

DJ Icite, 9 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main Ave., 259-

9018

Saturday Exhibit closing:“Obedience, Conformity, Apathy ...‘It’s All Good,” 5

p.m., Barbara Conrad Gallery, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts.org.

Black Velvet duo, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond

Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

The summer before eighth grade, I made it my job to watch as much television as I could. Memorize commercials? Check. “Monkees” marathon on Nickelodeon? Don’t mind if I do. But the best thing I caught on cable that summer was “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure.” And because it was on cable, it was on like 80 times a day – perfect for memorizing dialogue, which is exactly what I did. And now, 200 years later, I can still recite the entire film, much to the dismay of friends and family.

So when Pee-wee’s new movie came out on Netflix last week, I admit I was more than a little suspicious. The original was awesome, and the follow up, “Big Top Pee-wee” was meh. So what the hell was this movie? And what, no Tim Burton? No Danny Elfman? No Francis, Tina, Large Marge or Dottie?

It’s pretty awesome, that’s what.

In the movie, Pee-wee Herman (Paul Reubens) is living a quiet, uneventful life as a cook at a diner in Fairville, a town he’s never left. When actor Joe Manganiello (playing himself) shows up in a tight T-shirt and motorcycle and convinces Pee-wee to “live a little” and invites him to his birthday party in New York City, the adventure is on.

After a series of strange encounters, where he is kidnapped by chick bank robbers, visits a snake farm, almost

Courtesy of www.ign.com

»» Pee-wee Herman entertains the Amish in the new movie “Pee-wee’s Big Holiday.” gets married and meets up with a character whose actor is a cameo by one of the originals in “Big Adventure,” Pee-wee finally makes it to the Big Apple and to his friend Joe. (Their bromance is evident right from their first meeting, and Pee-wee’s dreams about him throughout the film are hilarious.)

The only place where “Big Holiday” really fell short was the soundtrack, which was superb in “Big Adventure” and still stands up as a solid recording on its own. In “Big Holiday,” the

soundtrack is by Mark Mothersbaugh, and while it’s OK, it’s pretty forgettable.

But you go to Pee-wee for laughs, and for the most part, Reubens and co-writer Paul Rust and director John Lee get it right.

Oh, and the entire movie can be summed up in two words: Amish balloon – if this scene doesn’t make you laugh until you cry, there’s something seriously wrong with you.

—— Katie Cahill

Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699

Main Ave., 247-4431.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

DJ Noonz, 9 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main Ave., 259-

9018.

Sunday Irish music jam session, 12:30 p.m.,

House, 725 Main Ave., 247-5440, www.derailedpourhouse.com.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

www.tangodurango.info, 533-7231.

Blue Moon Ramblers, 7-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 2474431.

Latin music night, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937

Jazz church (experienced musician drop-in session), 6 p.m., Derailed Pour

Joel Racheff, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200, www.theirishembassypub.com.

Informal Tango Practice & Instructions, 5-7 p.m., 26369 U.S. Highway 160 ,

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Main Ave., 259-9018.

Continued on Page 22

Feet in the Sand, or on the Slopes?

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[happening] Spend an evening with Bruce Cockburn Legendary Canadian singer-songwriter Bruce Cockburn is performing Thursday night at the Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College.

Where should we

DGO tonight?

Cockburn has been performing for decades and has released 31 albums and has won 13 Juno Awards. His music spans all subjects – from family to religion to social and political – as well as genres. Expect to hear everything from folk, jazz, blues rock and world beat.

The show starts at 7:30 p.m.

Tickets are $29/$24, and you can get them at http://www.durangoconcerts.com.

For more information, call 247-7657.

From Page 21

Monday Four Corners Arts Forum, 9 a.m., KDUR

91.9/93.9 FM, www.kdur.org.

Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30-6:30 p.m., Ska

Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., yoga and a pint of beer for $10, www.skabrewing.com.

Joel Racheff, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle

Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Ace Revel, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Tuesday Terry Rickard, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond

Karaoke with DJ Crazy Charlie, 9

p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 375-2568.

Ongoing Obedience, Conformity, Apathy...”It’s All Good!” through Satur-

day, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave. Ink & Wax : Intimate Surface Dimensions, through April 26, Durango Arts Center,

802 East Second Ave.

Super Ted’s Super Trivia, 6:12 p.m., free,

rel Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave.

Ska Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., 247-5792.

Annual Community Exhibit “SOUND,” through Wednesday, Open Shut-

Open Mic Night, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main

Ave., 259-9018.

ter Gallery, 735 Main Ave. “One Paycheck Away,” through Wednes-

day, Open Shutter Gallery, 735 Main Ave.

Wednesday

The 4th Annual People’s Choice – a unique art exhibit opening, through

Greg Ryder, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

April 8, Three Rivers Art Center, 123 West Main, Farmington.

Ace Revel, 6-8 p.m., Eno Wine Bar and Cock-

National Art Honor Society students art work exhibit, through May 21, Durango

tail Lounge, 723 East Second Ave., 385-0105.

Bluegrass Jam, 6-9 p.m., Irish Embassy

Pub, 900 Main Ave. Pub quiz, 6:30 p.m., Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200.

Open studio figure drawing, 6:30-

8:30 p.m., $15/$10, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., www.durangoarts.org.

Terry Rickard, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

to the DGO calendar with

BREW Pub & Kitchen, 117 W. College Drive, 259-5959.

“Defining Spaces: New Work”by Cynthia DeBolt, through Wednesday, Sor-

699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

+ Add an Event

Geeks Who Drink trivia, 8:30 p.m.,

Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Tim Sullivan, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

Your #1 source for what’s going on around Durango dgomag.com/calendar

8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main Ave., 259-9018.

Los Lonely Boys, 7:30 p.m., $45/$35,

Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College, durangoconcerts.com.

Ping pong and poker tournaments,

Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. “Earthly Presence,” May 6 through May, Sorrel Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and dgomag.com, go to www.

swscene.com and click “Add Your Event,” fill out the form with all your event info and submit. Listings at swscene.com will appear both at dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting events at swscene.com is free and takes about one business day to process.

22 | Thursday, March 24, 2016 •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You have strong ideas about politics, religion and racial issues today, and you want to express them. This could cause a problem with a friend or partner.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Behind-the-scenes research reveals how you can get funds or assistance. Nevertheless, be prepared for interruptions to your workday. Computer crashes, canceled meetings and staff shortages are examples.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You can convince anyone of anything today because your mind is alert and energetic! Parents should be vigilant about potential accidents for their kids.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

This is a great day to talk to bosses and authority figures because they will be

impressed with you. Nevertheless, this could upset someone at home or in your family.

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) This is an accident-prone day. Your daily routine will be interrupted – you can count on this. Allow extra time so that you have wiggle room to deal with things.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Keep an eye on your money today because you might find money or you might lose money. Guard your possessions against loss or theft. Be leery of someone who sweet talks a deal.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) A close friend or partner might surprise you today. One thing is certain: Conversations will be dynamic and productive!

Expect fast action.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

You will impress work colleagues today because your mind is in overdrive and you see everything clearly. (This also will help you to cope with unexpected interruptions on the job.)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Be vigilant, as this is an accident-prone day for your kids. However, this also is a creative day for those who work in the arts and an active day for those in sports.

accidents and surprises. Pay attention to everything you say and do. Fortunately, you’re on top of things!

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) This is a strong day for business and commerce. You will persuade others to agree with you. However, something unexpected will catch you off-guard, so be prepared.

BORN TODAY

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

You are well-liked because you are generous and courageous. You often choose the path of leadership. Something you’ve been involved with for about nine years will end or diminish now to make room for something new. This will be a year of service. It is also a good year to travel.

Prepare for a fresh new cycle waiting in your future!

Your daily routine will change today because of canceled meetings, minor

© 2016 King Features Syndicate Inc.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Family discussions will be dynamic today. You will want to give your two cents’ worth. Stay light on your feet, because it’s a fast-changing day!

[conan tweets]

There’s nothing like your wife not winning the Powerball and watching her unpack her suitcase.

Fun party hosting tip: Put dozens of extra coats on the bed. When guests ask where everyone else is, laugh maniacally & change the subject.

I know exactly how Tom Cruise feels in “Mission: Impossible” whenever I’m searching for my ringing phone in a pair of cargo pants.

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– FOR MORE INFORMATION – Call Sharon Hermes at (970) 375-4511 or Email Sharon@Durangoherald.com

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