Peter Pans, Explained

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, June 9, 2016

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peter pans, explained They work seasonal jobs, love the outdoors and hate settling down. Life is fun but relationships? Not always.

Also: Trump and Imminent Death Syndrome, loving and hating swimming, Studio &’s textile show, summer denim, a new beer for broads, and all about astrology

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DGO Magazine

Staff Chief Executive Officer Douglas Bennett

What’s inside Volume 1 Number 32

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June 9, 2016

Get Smart on getting smart Throughout 30 Get Smart columns, Cyle Talley has talked to people about whiskey, dogs, bikes, risks, and a host of other things. Let him tell you a bit about what he’s learned thus far as he’s satiated his curiosity and gotten people talking.

V.P. of Finance and Operations Bob Ganley V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis

Editor/ designer/ art director David Holub dholub@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer Anya Jaremko-Greenwold anya@bcimedia.com

Katie Cahill Christopher Gallagher Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch Mandy Mikulencak Heather Narwid Cyle Talley Robert Alan Wendeborn Advertising 247-3504 Reader Services

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6

Sound 6

Beer

16 Movies

Making a stitch mark

17 Pages

A show titled “Accumulation: An Examination of Process Through Textiles” opens Friday at Studio &.

Artists in the exhibit used linen fabric, pigment, cotton thread, hand-stitching and repurposed silk, to name a few materials.

18 Weed

Seeing Through 18 the Smoke

Review 19

Netflix and chill ‑ 420 edition 19

20 Savage Love

10 What can an astrologer

tell you?

Whether you’re skeptical about the stars influencing life on Earth or not, most everyone at least knows their “sun sign” (one of the 12 Zodiac distinctions). We chatted with Lyn Goldberg, Bayfield astrologer, about her astrological readings and why it all makes sense.

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11 Ornate Feelings Another installment of Dan Groth’s poetry/illustration adventure.

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

Love it or Hate it

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Album Review 7

Amy Maestas Katie Klingsporn

From the Editor

Downtown Lowdown

Founding Editors David Holub

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Tell us what you think!

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know?

Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

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17 ‘Euphoria,’ reviewed Mandy Mikulencak, local author of “Burn Girl,” reviews “Euphoria,” by Lily King and says, “There’s good reason this book is so popular.”

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23 Horoscope/ puzzles/ Bizarro

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On the cover Though certain outdoorsy guys might be referred to as “Peter Pans,” we’re certain none would be caught dead in this hat.

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Only explanation for Trump: Imminent Death Syndrome

I

t’s a disease called Imminent Death Syndrome, as parodied on HBO’s “Mr. Show,” the mid-’90s sketch comedy series from David Cross and Bob Odenkirk, wherein “a person is on the brink of death for 80 to 100 years.” In the sketch, Cross’ character, Larry, who hasn’t been let on that he has IDS, wants to learn guitar. The guitar school dudes, having been tipped off by Larry’s mother about his IDS, take patronizing pity on the sure-to-be-dead-soon Larry, telling him how he’s the best guitar player they’ve ever heard (despite it being his first lesson). The façade escalates to point of Larry being invited to play guitar in the guitar dudes’ band’s concert that night. So in front of 3,000 fans, each one called

by Larry’s mother to root him on and to not let him in on the secret, Larry lives out his dream on stage. And yet, Larry never dies. He keeps going and is even awarded an honorary degree and allowed to practice medicine as people make a path for him in order “to make the victim’s final days rewarding.”

To date, Imminent Death Syndrome is the only rational explanation for the Donald Trump phenomenon, this rich demagogue who got it in his head that it would be fun to run for president.

It’s as if some twisted Make-A-Wishstyle group has made millions of phone calls to primary voters and 95 percent of the Republican establishment to make way for a clownish misogynist bigot who, as described by the Huffington Post editor’s note that accompanies every story written about him, is “a serial liar, rampant xenophobe, racist, birther and bully who has repeatedly pledged to ban all Muslims – 1.6 billion members of an entire religion – from entering the U.S.” Here are some of Trump’s IDS highlights so far: »» Build a wildly impractical wall on the U.S.-Mexico border that would cost tens of billions, require an act of Congress to build and take years and years and years? Sure! Go for it! You can do it!

Oh, and Mexico’s going to pay for it? Of course, it will. You’re brilliant! »» Round up 10 million undocumented Mexican immigrants, turning ’Merica into a stop-and-frisk police state, requiring camps full of hundreds of thousands of humans waiting to be processed and shipped away at the cost of who-knowshow-much? Sure! Go for it! You can do it! »» Mock a disabled reporter on stage in front of thousands? Well, wasn’t that funny? »» Relegate women to little more than menstruators, dogs, fat pigs, horse-faces and disgusting urinators? Oh, but at least he’s not politically correct. Isn’t he just the best? »» Insult not only a war hero and not only a venerable U.S. senator, but insult him for being a prisoner of war, insinuating that it was foolishness or idiocy that led to the capture. This is criticism coming from a person who received rich-kid deferments to avoid the very war he’s criticizing the senator for being captured in, criticism coming from the de facto leader of a political party whose thesecolors-don’t-run support of military has been trumpeted for decades as stronger and more emphatic than that of the left?

Sure thing, IDS patient. And that withering, spineless U.S. senator, John McCain, goes as far as to endorse him! »» Go after the judge trying his company’s fraud case, saying that Mexicans (the judge is American) and Muslims would be incapable of being impartial and then implores his followers to join him in the attacks? Yes, please. Show us the way.

And to do one better, as an act of gratitude, the highest and hollowest elected official in the Republican Party, Paul Ryan, calls Trump’s remarks “the textbook definition of a racist comment.”

And yet, of course, Trump still has his full support.

I’m sure there are other more complex and nuanced explanations for the millions who have cast primary votes for Trump and the sheepy politicians falling lockstep in line behind him. But for now, I’m going with Imminent Death Syndrome.

Swimming Love it I don’t love being in EVERY body of water. Lakes are the exception. They are stagnant and sort of claustrophobic, just sitting there, all unmoving.

They’re murky. There’s seaweed and an array of questionable squishy stuff to tread on.

But pools are glorious. If you grew up spending your afternoons in backyard suburban swimming pools as I did, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

The glimmers of sunlight filtering down through the turquoise. The sweet chemical scent of chlorine that never leaves your fingertips. The brightly colored pool toys that smell of pinkness and plastic. (Remember noodles?

You could ride on them OR spray water at your friends through the hole.)

And if you take an enormous breath and dive down to the bottom of the deep end, you’ll experience a completely different world – one that’s serene and quiet. Stay down as long as you can, until your ears scream under the pressure.

Swimming in the ocean might take the cake, though. It all depends on what ocean you’re in, or in which part of the country it’s located. But that diversity is wonderful; some oceans are violent and wild, some gentle and mild.

And nothing beats the salty briny air, the screech of seagulls, the soothing thunder of waves, all penetrating your senses whilst you soak in Homer’s “wine-dark sea.” It’s a natural sensation akin to being an embryo in the womb again.

If you float on your back, you can’t really hear anything.

You just lie there, look at the sky, and find comfort in weightlessness.

— Anya JaremkoGreenwold

Hate it It’s not because I very nearly drowned twice in one weekend swimming in two different sections of the wider-than-itlooks Housatonic River in Connecticut, gasping and choking while being pulled to safety by a woman who weighed 50 pounds less than me, which compelled me to wear water wings for the rest of my days (OK, not true, though I do now wear a not-so-cool/manly life jacket when in any natural body of water).

No, when it comes to swimming and often just hanging out in water, I hate it because I’m simply not very good at it. I’m an apt athlete and can pick up most sports quickly. Except swimming. I could never do it, despite hours and hours of practice, seemingly always exerting twice as much energy as everyone else around me. I’ll be hanging with friends in a lake and they all can tread water forever, just chit chatting nonchalantly. Or some can simply lie in the water and float. Meanwhile, I sink like a stone and nearly drown.

Or maybe it’s that one of my first conscious memories was dunking my head in a baby pool and water painfully shooting up my nose. Or the time I tried body surfing at Oahu’s famed North Shore and getting yanked out into the surf, tossed around like a toy puppy in a washing machine, dragged on the ocean floor and then spit out onto the beach with sand packing every orifice on my body.

Yeah, I think I’ll just stay out at this point.

— David Holub

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[Expert Advice on Trivial Affairs]

Cyle Talley | Get Smart

»» A montage of some of the subjects of Get Smart from the first six months.

On Getting Smart Throughout 30 Get Smart columns, I’ve talked to people about whiskey, dogs, bikes, risks, and a host of other things. Let me tell you a bit about what I’ve learned thus far as I’ve satiated my curiosity and gotten people talking.

What prompted Get Smart in the first place?

I want Terry Gross’ job, and Get Smart is my first baby step toward a hostile takeover of “Fresh Air.” I love having an excuse to ask people questions about who they are, what they do and what they’re about. Telling people that I’m a columnist suddenly grants me the ability to ask them personal questions that might not be broached otherwise. Call it voyeuristic if you want, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun.

How does the usual interview go?

It’s changed immensely. For the first column about winter bicycle commuting, I read at least tens of blogs about it before I interviewed Jon and Garrett from Durango Cyclery. When I started asking them questions, I already had the answers I wanted in mind and was surprised when the answers they gave weren’t the answers I wanted. Now, I turn my recorder on and we just start talking. I ask the person their full name, their title and what gives them “expertise” on the subject we’re talking about, and then I start asking them questions – and not necessarily on the topic at hand. When I interviewed Michael Rendon, we talked at some length about a mutual teenage interest in punk rock. It had very little to do with the topic, but I like to think that making that connection allowed him to feel a bit more comfortable talking about the things that really excite him.

And then what?

I transcribe. A 20- or 30-minute interview can take hours to transcribe, depending upon the person. Then I part and parcel, try to give it a good flow and edit it

down to the word count I’m allotted.

What sort of editing is required?

We are so totally unaware of the things we say. Case in point, “A whole nother.” This is something that people actually say. We use slang, we ramble, we lose track of our thoughts, we “um” and “uh” and “you know,” and that’s in a reasonably composed sentence.

The editing I do to what people say is cutting out filler words. Very occasionally I’ll have to restructure a sentence for the sake of clarity, but that’s a last resort and I always hate doing it. The one exception, God bless her, was Emyrald Sinclaire of Earth Girl Goodies.

She spoke in the most beautiful complete thoughts and sentences. Hers was far and away the easiest transcription and interview. She was funny, engaging, thoughtful and passionate.

Why are your questions so short?

They aren’t, they just get edited. The sorts of questions I tend to ask are long rambling things and so I trim them down because I want to make sure that the reader hears more of the interviewee’s thoughts than my questions. My job is to get the interviewee talking and to depict their voice well, not to make myself sound brilliant and insightful.

What have you learned?

On a cursory level, a little bit of a lot. I now know the difference between scotch and whiskey, discovered the graphic novel “Preacher,” became a convert to the Aeropress – blah blah. But really, I’ve learned the power of “tell me more.” If we’re being honest, everyone’s favorite subject is themselves, and those

three simple words – “Tell me more” – open up whole worlds. “Tell me more” led to Nathan Schmidt and I talking for three and a half hours about Shel Silverstein, baseball, Donald Trump and novels. And it was wonderful. I walked away from that conversation delighted and inspired and looking for ways to implement his daily creative practices in my own life. You can say “Tell me more” as “What do you think about that?” or “Why do you suppose that is?” but no matter how you say it, say it.

What’s the most difficult part of the interview?

The interviews aren’t difficult at all. You’re just having a conversation about a topic. What is difficult is choosing topics, finding people who can speak articulately about them and scheduling the damned interviews. Choosing what to keep and what to cut from each interview is difficult as well. There are little things – lines of thought, a great word or phrase, or a really good story that often ends up on the scrap heap because there just isn’t enough space to keep it all.

Damned word count limit.

What surprises you most about the interviews?

How everyone, no matter who they are or what they do, asks me after we’re through, “Was that OK? Did I talk too much?”

Cyle Talley would like to thank his editor, David Holub, for being flexible. If there’s anything you’d like to Get Smart about, please email him (Cyle, not David) at: cyle@cyletalley.com

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[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

An eclectic band, New Orleans to the bone

T

he Boom-Boom Room in the Fillmore District of San Francisco may be the closest place for a dose of New Orleans when you’re 2,300 miles from the Big Easy. It’s a room that pulls in music lovers itching for the cross-pollinated sounds found all over New Orleans, and was a needed spot for the handful of musicians who ended up in San Francisco when Hurricane Katrina wrecked New Orleans. It also served as the birthplace for the Honey Island Swamp Band, the New Orleans band formed by chance when members found themselves pining away some time in the Boom-Boom Room just after Hurricane Katrina.

“We all for various reasons had made our way out to San Francisco, oddly enough,” said vocalist and guitar player Aaron Wilkinson. “We literally ran into each other at a bar there. Everyone told their individual story, and we said, ‘We don’t know how long we’re going to be here, but it looks like it’s going to be awhile; we should start a band.’ The owner of the bar gave us a gig every Sunday night, and that’s how the band started and we haven’t looked back. It sounds incredible but it really is true.”

The Honey Island Swamp Band will headline The Dolores River Festival in Dolores’ Joe Rowell Park on Saturday.

When there’s music in Dolores, Montezuma County represents. Maybe it’s the location, maybe it’s people’s inability to get to Durango, Denver, Albuquerque or elsewhere for shows, but the support they show is full-force, a gathering of different tax brackets and political parties, all under the guise of enjoying a band; a collection of music fans in a town supporting all the live music offerings with an eager enthusiasm. There’s no better offering for the different fans than a rock band from a melting pot that is New Orleans, offering up a mix of all things Americana.

“New Orleans has always has been a lot of different cultures rubbing shoulders. It’s been that way since it started, and its still that way today. The

Zack Smith/Courtesy of Honey Island Swamp Band

Bryant’s best Thursday: Sky Pilot plays jazz, fusion, rock. 5 p.m. No cover. Ska Brewing, 225 Girard Street in Bodo Park. Information: 247-5792.

Saturday: Dolores River Festival with Honey Island Swamp Band, The Workshy, Niceness, Sky Pilot, Farmington Hill and more. Noon. $25. Joe Rowell Park, Highway 145 Dolores. Information: doloresriverfestival.org. music is a direct reflection of that,” said Wilkerson.

“The icons may be the first thing that leaps to mind, but that’s the tip of the iceberg. It’s very broad. You could argue the most popular music coming out

20704 Highway 160 West Durango, CO 81303 |

of New Orleans today on a global scale is hip-hop.

There’s all sorts of things going on, always has been, always will be.

“We try to reflect a lot of that stuff. We play blues, and we play some jazzier notes here and there. We certainly dip into the funk element of it when we can, and we like to rock out, too. When you put all that together, you do end up with a band that sounds a little bit like Little Feat, or The Band, even the Allman Brothers to an extent, bands that borrow from all those different styles, and I think that’s a starting point for us.”

Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

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[visual]

[sound]

Making a stitch mark »» Minna Jain of Studio & curates the gallery’s upcoming textile show If you don’t know what “textile” means, the word drives from the Latin ‘texere,’ meaning “to weave,” “to braid” or “to construct.” The simplest definition would be “art made using fabric or thread.” On Friday, June 10, a show titled “Accumulation: An Examination of Process Through Textiles” opens at the quirky Studio &. Artists in the exhibit used linen fabric, pigment, cotton thread, hand-stitching and repurposed silk, to name a few materials. “Whether you’re making a mark with a stitch or you’re making a mark with a pencil, you’re making a mark,” said Studio & co-owner Minna Jain (who is also in the show). “Textile’s cool because it’s dimensional, so you can sculpt with it, accumulate with it and create all these really interesting things.”

What’s new William Tyler,“Modern Country” Available: Now via Merge Records as a download, CD and LP. William Tyler wants you to remember how things once were. Simpler times. The suggestion may seep and bleed through music, though he never asks you outright. For many years, the Nashville-based artist toured with indie stalwarts Lamb Chop and Silver Jews while honing his delicate and deliberate style of guitar playing. In 2010 Tyler released “Behold the Spirit,” the first record under his proper name, and one-time taste-making music blog Pitchfork referred to it as “the most vital, energized album by an American solo guitarist in a decade or more.” “Modern Country” is William Tyler’s second release for North Carolina-based mid-indie label Merge Records, following 2013’s critically-lauded “Impossible Truth,” and was well worth the three-year wait.

Images courtesy of Studio &

»» From “Pay Attention” by Ilze Aviks for the show “Accumulation” at Studio &.

Tyler composed the album in Oxford, Mississippi, and was more than ably backed by multi-instrumentalist Phil Cook (Megafaun, Hiss Golden Messenger, Blind Boys of Alabama, DeYarmond Edison), bassist Darin Gray (Tweedy, Jim O’Rourke) and percussionist Glenn Kotche (Wilco).

Tyler has a made a near perfect album of introspective, purely instrumental guitar music. A summer album, to be sure. An album for wandering grassy fields. An album for cruising alleys on the Southside or Midtown. An album for driving dusty, back-country roads and reflecting on times gone by.

Highly, highly recommended for fans of John Fahey, Steve Gunn, Sandy Bull or Date Palms.

—— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

New at Southwest Sound

»» “Sara Heather,” by Arista Slater-Sandoval for the show “Accumulation” at Studio &.

»»1. Band of Horses, “Why Are You OK”

GO!

»»2. Steve Earle and Shawn Colvin, “Colvin & Earle”

What: Accumulation: An Examination of Process Through Textiles

»»3. Fitz and the Tantrums, “Fitz and the Tantrums” »»4. Garbage, “Strange Little Birds” »»5. Nahko and Medicine for the People, “Hoka” »»6. Rival Sons, “Hollow Bones”

Where: Studio & Gallery, 1027 Main Ave When: The exhibit runs from June 10-19. There will be an opening reception on Friday June 10 from 5 to 9 p.m.

The show will feature work from Ilze Aviks, Leesa Zarinelli Gawlik, Anita Jain, Minna Jain and Arista Slater-Sandoval.

Minna is joined by her mother Anita, who has been a textile artist her whole life. “Actually, her parents – my grandparents – in Finland, were tailors in the prestigious ateliers,” said Minna. “So it’s been in the family forever, and I grew up with it.” Textile is tangible, layered and full of ethnographic context. The incorporation of textile and textile techniques is becoming more prevalent in contemporary art, and more recognized by the mainstream as a legitimate medium. It has often been disregarded, shunted aside into the category of mere “craft” or “decorative art.”

Jain has contributed a collection of “Walkers” to the show; weird, slightly cute and slightly sinister four-legged creatures that bear a strong resemblance to the walkers from “Star Wars,” who tread menacingly on mechanical legs. Jain’s walkers have driftwood legs instead. “My mom and I are doing a collaborative installation called ‘Walking Between,’ and we both wanted to tap into our Sami roots,” said Jain. “She is Sami, which is the native Scandinavians that span Norway, Finland, Russia. And in that culture, the Northern Lights is called “Revontulet,” which is “fox fire,” and they’re really this magical doorway between worlds in a way. So we wanted to create that feeling of these elemental forces that walk between worlds.”

—— DGO Staff

»»7. Peter Bjorn and John, “Breakin’ Point” ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, June 9, 2016 | 7

[Sartorial over-enthusiasm with Heather of Sideshow]

Style Fetish | Heather Narwid

Summer denim: Dump the dark, hail the pale It’s been dark for so long! It’s summer, let’s just lighten up.

Dark jeans have reigned for quite a few years now, while chambray and the light blue pales have been somewhat ignored. These shades are excellent summer neutrals, plus, our old, truly faded jeans have finally achieved the pajama-soft thin weight that’s only bestowed by time, perfect for steamy temps.

In honor of the burgeoning summer, let’s let our lights shine in cool, pale denim and feel free to reject the dark blue status quo while we’re at it. Style Fetish is going to Hail the Pale, here’s how:

»» Men’s tiki-tropical shirt by Aigle shown with embroidered fabric belt and white vintage Levi 501s loose linen shirt or thin tunic. »»A fabric belt is much cooler to wear in hot summer, rather than leather. It will help keep your liver cool and in good working order for proper summerstrength alcohol metabolizing! »» Loose printed tee with pale Guess bells and Reef espadrilles.

Stay cool in more ways than one »»Wear light and stand out in the crowd of ubiquitous dark denim. »»Pale and light pants are cooler to wear and don’t absorb the sun’s heat like dark colors do. »»Look as chic as a contemporary Coco Chanel by wearing white on bottom and black on top. »»Retro ’60s up those tired dark jeans and do an enlightening bleach bath for a multi-pale-blue-hued drippy-dye effect. »»Go ahead and wear a denim jacket or shirt with the pale denim pants – just keep them very different tones to avoid the Texas-Tux. A dark blue denim jacket looks great with white or pale blue jeans. »»Tight, spandex-filled skinny jeans are impossible to deal with in sand at the beach! Loose, vintage pales rule the seaside, paired with a swimsuit top and

Men in white »»Dudes in pale or white jeans is a Yes, please. Roll those cuffs a bit, rock some Jesus sandals or Chuck Taylors and you look beatnik-groovy and just as free. Wear with a Guayabera, Hawaiian shirt, tiedye or band tee and get thee to a festival. »»Have an elegant obligation? White denim looks crisp and formal-enough for the Western Slope.

Wear the white with a linen shirt and dress shoes or new Chucks without socks.

Light is all right on any body type »»De-emphasize a bigger chest or midsection with a dark V-neck top and pale bottoms. »»Volumize a tiny booty and skinny legs in pale or white jeans. »»Achieve body-shape balance with jeans style as well as tone. Pale bell bottoms or flares can balance a bodacious butt with the extra ankle width while recalling original festival style (Woodstock, anyone?).

Photos by Heather Narwid/Courtesy of Sideshow

»» Retro ’60s baby doll top with Earl white mid-rise skinnies and Roxy sneaker wedges.

»»Light shorts can lengthen a shorter leg. Wear with espadrilles, wedges or platform shoes to further elongate legs. »»Pale denim with a tight leg and high waist is ultra-’80s and looks phenomenal if you can pull it off. An almost-perfect bod is required here. This is a look for a younger woman as-yet unborn in the ’80s, with a shape currently unaffected by gravity. Pair with a striped cropped tee and get Debbie Harry-1982-fabulous while you can!

Heather Narwid owns Sideshow Emporium, a vintage and modern clothing store for men and women. Sideshow is located in Durango at 208 County Road 250 (at 32nd Street). Sideshow is open Tuesdays through Saturdays from 10 a.m. till 6 p.m. Ask her anything at sideshowdolores@gmail.com.

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[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Chicks will dig this new beer for broads ... right?

T

here is a new brewery, with a new beer, made by women and for women and I could not be happier.

Thank god that they finally have their own beer, because I’m tired of women getting their hormones in my man beer. I’m tired of their periods and their makeup and their high-heeled shoes ruining the man bars and manly man places that I go with my man friends to drink my manly man beer and talk about man stuff like trucks and carburetors and sports balls.

But seriously, there is a new “brewery” (it’s a brand really, as all their beer is contract brewed by Brew Hub in Lakeland, Florida), called High Heel Brewing, owned by Kristi McGuire, and making a beer for women called Slingback Perry Ale. Slingback is a 5.4 percent ABV beer with pear and passion fruit juice with spices. The package is pink and green.

I don’t want to be the dude upset about women breaking into the industry and taking our jobs, and I’m not, because I already know a lot of women brewers. High Heel Brewing feels pretty gross to me because it undermines and insults all of the hard work other women are already doing. I’m not just saying that; here are some of the things they’re saying: ---------

--------I have no doubt that High Heel Brewing meant only to offer a friendly and relatable product to traditionally feminine women. In doing so, though, they failed to realize how this product further isolates women from the general craft beer community. It undermines the efforts of other female brewers who strive solely to make decent product, without masking it in an incredibly narrow gender stereotype, and will make us be taken less seriously overall.

As a woman in the industry, this whole brand is a giant slap in the face. I have put my blood, sweat and tears into my career, not only for myself but for any other female who wants to follow her dreams but is worried about the boys club stigma. To have this [c-word] come into the scene and try to say there is a demand for segregation in beer is ass backwards. We need to be seen as equals.

Erica, brewer in Durango

Bess, brewer in Denver

--------And these are women brewing, selling, judging, marketing and reviewing the beer I drink, so I don’t think they’ve “made it” in some “boys club.” No one invited them into the tree house, because there isn’t

--------Ew. Jodie, Denver area beer sales rep

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a tree house. They’re here on their own merit and because the craft beer movement doesn’t exclude or include someone because they grow a beard or don’t shave their legs or can throw a ball or walk in high heels or wear pink boots or have tattoos or live in the cool part of town or look a certain way.

All that matters is the beer.

And the women I know in the industry make really good beer. Their taste is impeccable.

Their reviews are excellent (they use the best words). The last thing we need in this industry is division: special aisle for all the little pink bottles of chickbeer.

But marketing is a weird thing: Create a product, decide who the audience is, and try to sell the shit out of said product to said audience. Sometimes it makes sense to market things to women and not to men. Things like tampons, birth control and yeast infection medication are totally OK to market to women because it has to do with one’s genitals. It’s just not OK to market beer based on gender, because last time I checked, no one uses genitals to taste beer. My genitals don’t care what kind of hops are in my IPA, nothing is going to happen to my balls if the beer was made by or for a woman, or to quote Kaleigh Dunn’s fantastic essay on the topic in “The Growler”: “Does that mean I have been drinking “dude beer” all along? Am I ruined because of it? Has it been hurting my delicate, flowery liver? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MY OVARIES BECAUSE I’VE BEEN DRINKING DUDE BEER?!”

Again, it’s all about the beer. It doesn’t matter who made it, but how.

Robert Alan Wendeborn puts the bubbles in the beer at Ska Brewing Company. His first book of poetry, “The Blank Target,” was published this past spring by The Lettered Streets Press and is available at Maria’s Bookshop. robbie@skabrewing.com

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[mysticism]

What can an astrologer tell you?

Lyn Goldberg, Bayfield astrologer, claims daily horoscopes are probably correct 40 to 50 percent of the time. She lives in an intentional cohousing community she helped create 20 years ago, and from the comfort of her own home provides natal readings (studying where the planets were located at the time of your birth), transit readings (studying where the planets are today in relationship to your natal chart), synergy readings (looking at how two people blend, or don’t blend) and more. Goldberg records these conversations, so her clients can listen back on them later. Many doctors actually used to take astrology seriously, and the season of your birth has been linked to increased risk for a number of diseases (a branch of study known as “medical astrology”). But whether you’re skeptical about the stars influencing life on Earth or not, almost everyone at least knows their “sun sign” (one of the12 Zodiac distinctions). There are two additionally-important but lesser-known signs you need to worry about (the moon sign and your ascendant/ rising). Free charts for calculating these can be found online, but it’s a lot more fun to learn about it in person. We chatted with Goldberg about her astrological readings and why it all makes sense.

What is astrology?

my passion. When I retired eight years ago, I decided I would do it full-time.

The way I explain it at every natal reading is that we live in a vibrational universe. Science teaches us that in fifth grade. So if we understand that we’re vibrating, and then we take it one layer higher, to our solar system, the planets orbiting the sun are also vibrating. They come into different alignments. They might be traveling together, they might be traveling opposite one another. With each different alignment, the planets are creating a different harmonic. And at the time of your birth, there was a very specific harmonic that was being created by what’s larger than us. So we can look at that point in time and see where the planets were. Since we’ve been studying it for so long, we know the archetypes of the planets, and we know the essences that were expressed by them at that point in time.

The natal reading carries with you forever. But to do it, I need the exact time of your birth. Some hospitals aren’t writing them down anymore, which is very distressing. It’s an important thing to know! One of the reasons astrologers want the exact birth time is because the “ascendant,” or what’s happening on the horizon at the time of your birth, changes one degree every four minutes. So over a period of two hours, we’d have a different “sign” on the horizon for you. We can tell at least 60 percent more if we have the right birth time, but a good astrologer can do what’s called a “rectification,” to find that out if you don’t know it.

How did you learn about astrology?

I was 24 and a boyfriend was into it. I was coming out

Goldberg

I’m studying right now with the Shamanic Astrology Mystery School. Shamanic astrology is about how we on Earth connect with what’s above us. It brings in the night sky; a lot of astrologers, especially Western ones, don’t really pay attention to the sky. It’s important to be out there, knowing where the planets are and watching them. We’ve lost something huge in our connections; our ancestors lived under the stars, so they were connected to what was going on in the heavens.

With the advent of our home structures and electricity, we stay in and watch TV at night instead.

What’s the difference between a sun sign and a moon sign?

of a very confused teenage time. When he looked at my chart, he said, ‘Oh you have a unique signature that’s very tuned into astrology.’ And indeed, that was the case. I had a career in Durango where I worked as a vocational rehabilitation counselor for the state of Colorado for 25 years, which gave me counseling skills. But I was always studying astrology, too. It was

A lot of people say the sun is the soul. It’s the fuel that we burn. So in reading about your sun sign, that’s very important. But in shamanic astrology, we actually start with the moon. It’s the energy we come in with, the energy we know and can fall back on. Before astrology became so popular, the moon sign was introduced before the sun. If you are watching the night sky, where the moon is during a birth is pretty obvious. Sometimes more obvious than where the sun is, because you can’t see any of the constellations when the sun is out. If you don’t know your moon sign, you can look it up in an ephemeris, which is kind of like an astrologer’s bible [it gives the positions of naturally occurring astronomical objects in the sky at a given time].

— Anya Jaremko-Greenwold

10 | Thursday, June 9, 2016 • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[poetry] Ornate Feelings, by Dan Groth

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[durango life]

Boys will be boys ... sometimes forever »» Peter Pans in mountain towns live for the outdoors and love their freedom,

“ The guys who come to me are the ones who say, ‘I’ve had 18 relationships in the last 15 years and it’s killing me.’

He’s having dessert for every meal, and doesn’t understand that a relationship is also about meat and potatoes and vegetables.

Michael Wilkinson, Couples and relationship counselor at Chrysalis Counseling in Durango.

”

Illustration by David Holub/DGO; image via Keith Homan/Shutterstock.com

12 | Thursday, June 9, 2016 • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

but are sometimes reluctant to commit. We investigated the appeal of this lifestyle and spoke to some locals who have been affected by it.

By Anya Jaremko-Greenwold DGO Staff Writer

I

f you live here, you’ve probably heard the stereotypes about Durangoan culture bandied about: That it’s a place full of people working transient jobs, juggling multiple occupations without any discernible career goals, passing through to ski in the winter or bike in the summer, placing an emphasis on a carefree style of living and relationship-having. It’s not only Durango – this is an epidemic in many mountain towns, especially when it comes to the dating scene. A “Peter Pan” is a man whose emotional life has remained at an adolescent-like level, one who refuses to “grow up.” PP Syndrome (a real pop-psychology concept) is often mentioned informally in Durango when referencing men who have seasonal jobs, put a priority on spending time outdoors and have a resistance to settling down. You might even say PP’s are the modern version of the old Western cowboy, nursing an ideal of rugged independence. They don’t need anyone. They ride or fly off into the sunset alone.

Unlike the stereotypical rugged cowboy, though, Peter Pans are often light-hearted, delightful, spontaneous company. They’re like your childhood playmate, always up for an adventure.

Small mountain hamlets seem to be the perfect breeding ground for this personality. “A lot of these guys love the extreme sports, and they’ll get cheap jobs here so they can ski,” said Michael Wilkinson, couples and relationship counselor at Chrysalis Counseling in Durango. “There are people 50 years old still doing that! They are literally flying boys, flying down the mountain.

It’s the closest they can come to actually flying.”

Mountain towns exist outside some of the social strictures and responsibilities more tightly imposed in cities. No one is going to fault you for a lack of conventional ambition or for failing to work 60 hours a week. Not every PP is a sports-fanatic, though, and “some can hold down jobs and do very well at them,” said Wilkinson. “But then they can’t have a relationship to save their lives.”

“I call the large population of unattached, sun-scorched, backcountry-clothed, beautifully chiseled men ‘the perpetual Peter Pan[s],’” said a female living in Durango via email, who asked to remain anonymous. “‘Perpetual’ is the key word here. They stay fit and beautiful until they die.

Their love of a sport is their oxygen. I’ve only met a few that can drop that word “perpetual from their name, but they found women [who are]

as into their sport as they are. Some even have kids.”

Who qualifies as a Peter Pan? The “millennial” generation has a notable problem feeling like adults. Many cannot afford to move out of their parents’ place, jobs in their fields aren’t hiring and they don’t begin families until much later in life – so how do kids know when they’re “grown-up”? Men in particular struggle with this lack of clear transition, according to Wilkinson. “I think to understand what’s happening now, we have to go back in time 50,000 years,” he said. “We were living in caves, we were migratory and the rules were clear: the men hunted and provided, procreated and protected.

The women’s job was to gather and nurture. But fast forward to where we are now: The extraordinary technology we have has enabled amazing changes in our lives. And one of the things we have lost is our purpose as men. Procreation is now more of a luxury and a choice.” Women can even have babies or make a living entirely without the help of the male species.

Some men are confused, in part, because of our culture’s lack of coming-of-age initiation rituals (aside from the likes of the Jewish Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, the Amish Rumspringa and the Hispanic Quinceanera). Guys who move away to college or into their first apartment are perform-

ing a rite of passage into adulthood, in a sense, but it’s not necessarily enough. “Some people will have the ability to take going to college as a rite of passage,” said Wilkinson. “Some people will self-initiate, but it’s very difficult to do. In tribal cultures, no boy initiates himself.” Girls get a more self-explanatory passage into womanhood with their start of menstruation. Most girls are taught what it means. Women also tend to surround themselves with groups of female friends with whom they can discuss their feelings and insecurities. The opportunity for emotional unburdening is more difficult for men to find.

“Wendy syndrome” is the lesser-known companion to Peter Pan syndrome. A “Wendy” is a woman who plays mother to her mate, allowing and enabling his PP behavior. “Wendys don’t really know who they are,” said Wilkinson. “They tie their identity up with their boyfriends. These guys are only too happy to step in and give them opinions.” Wilkinson claims it’s much more unusual for women to have PP Syndrome and for men to be Wendys.

Why is this an issue?

So what? How is rivaling a fictional J.M. Barrie character (with the power of flight) a bad thing?

According to Wilkinson, “It’s costing them Continued on Page 14

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[durango life]

“ It’s like if a person falls in love with a fireman or policeman – it was very

dangerous. He was never home, always guiding or climbing. All of my staff members at the gym are climbers, they’re all single and none ever talk about being lonely. I don’t know if the men who choose this lifestyle are built to be depended on by other people. They’re wired that way.

Tambri Garcia, Co-owner of Durango’s Rock Lounge climbing gym

From Page 13

connection, vitality, tolerance, self-esteem.

They know they should be doing something else, there’s a part of them that pines for that.

But many aren’t presented with a choice.”

Indubitably, when it comes to behavior, there isn’t any inevitable “should” or correct answer. You don’t NEED to start a family or become a responsible grown-up. Some men must be perfectly content living this lifestyle forever, right? “Those guys aren’t the ones who come into my office for help,” said Wilkinson. “The guys who come to me are the ones who say, ‘I’ve had 18 relationships in the last 15 years and it’s killing me. I am willing to change.’”

It’s possible Peter Pans are merely immature dudes who aren’t ready to accept the drudgery and monotony of a lengthier partnership. “I have a friend who is a flying boy,” said Wilkinson. “He jumps from relationship to relationship and believes it should be that feeling of being in love all the time. But that doesn’t mean anything. Falling in love is pheromones and hormones at work, trying to get two people to copulate, procreate and perpetuate the species. It’s a biological reaction, like fight or flight. But after six weeks to six months, that feeling falls away, and you get the chance to see the person for who they really are. According to Jungian psychologists, that’s when the relationship really starts. Up until then, the relationship has been with yourself, because you’re projecting. So when my friend hits that point, there’s pain, tears, drama, and then he goes to the next one. Rinse and repeat. He’s having dessert for every meal, and doesn’t understand that a relationship is also about meat and potatoes and vegetables. He just wants the flan. After a while, you’ll get sick of the flan. It’s too sweet.”

Married couple and co-owners of Durango’s Rock Lounge climbing gym, Marcus and Tambri Garcia, have dealt with some Peter Pan-themed problems of their own. Marcus is a professional climber who travels frequently, but in his younger days, he lived for eight

years in his truck (“dirtbagging” it, as they say), zealously climbing the entire time. One year, he spent 250 total days off the ground.

He met his wife 14 years ago, while working as a guide in Durango, when he took his wifeto-be on a wildflower tour up Engineer Mountain. Marcus has always worked multiple jobs while staying flexible, traveling and chasing every new peak. When they first met, Tambri was the self-described princess headed down the corporate-husband path. “But my time with him, listening to how he viewed the world, was what captured my attention,” Tambri said. “I didn’t know I had an adventurous drive. He took me to climb Snowdon Peak, and I realized, going back to Houston, that I was trapped in a world I wasn’t happy in. I didn’t have a lot of say in my own life.

Snowdon was a revelation; it made me see I can do whatever I put my mind to.”

“He did tell me this was his life, this was who he was, and he wasn’t going to change,” continued Tambri. “I had to make a decision if I wanted to be in his life. It’s like if a person falls in love with a fireman or policeman – it was very dangerous. He was never home, always guiding or climbing.” Tambri notes Marcus would regularly be gone on trips for six to eight weeks, and once she moved houses while he was gone. When he returned, he didn’t know their new address, and Tamri had adopted a brand new dog. “That woke him up a little bit; that’s when he started taking shorter trips,” said Tambri. After their daughter was born (now 13), Marcus stopped going on solo climbs (the really dangerous ones without ropes). According to Tambri, Marcus never planned on getting married. “We didn’t ask each other or talk about future goals,” said Tambri. “We live day by day in our marriage. He still does what he wants to do. I’ve changed a lot to fit around his personality. But it’s really worked out for us. We have this new gym together, and we spend more time together because of it. But I take on the bills, the house upkeep. I’m more responsible.”

Dr. David Kozak, professor of anthropology at Fort Lewis College, is another “reformed” Peter Pan and passionate climber.

”

He is now a husband and has a daughter, too.

“I started climbing 40 years ago, and that’s my identity, still to this day,” said Kozak. “I can’t do it as much now because I have a job and a family. I did 10 years of dirtbagging, making ends meet, working when I had to, playing when I wanted to.” Kozak remembers male buddies who shared his attitude were easy to come by (some still climb with him), but his girlfriends had varying levels of tolerance, and were never willing to live his lifestyle. “I didn’t want that, to put it bluntly – my priority was climbing above everything else,” said Kozak. “It was a self-centered activity.

It was about me.” Attending college at FLC, Kozak spent at least four months of every year living out of his truck; in the summers, he went climbing wherever he wanted. He did much of his school reading by head lamp.

What’s the appeal of this lifestyle?

As most people living in Durango will attest, there’s true bliss to be found on the trail, in green grass, cool lake water and the thick of a forest. “I loved the separation from society,” said Marcus. “When you’re climbing, nothing matters except for the moment. In society, you have to live on a weekly or yearly schedule.” Added Tambri, “All of my staff members at the gym are climbers, they’re all single and none ever talk about being lonely.” She agrees this could be because it’s less socially acceptable for men to express loneliness or speak freely about their feelings.

“The whole idea of climbing as an adrenaline sport, that’s not why you climb,” said Kozak. “There’s a psychologist named Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi who talked about this concept called ‘the flow,’ and I think that’s what it’s like. A euphoria that comes from complete concentration. It’s not about being an adrenaline junkie, it’s more about controlling yourself and your fears to accomplish something. Being career-minded, it’s

Marcus Garcia

Tambri Garcia

Kozak

Wilkinson

Continued on Page 15

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[durango life]

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»» Marcus and Tambri Garcia, owners of Rock Lounge Durango, climbing Colorado Ridge at Fisher Towers in 2001.

From Page 14

less likely for a person to experience the flow, or at least it hasn’t happened that often for me. With gravity sports, it’s your full body and mind integrated into making something happen.

Academically, I get great satisfaction out of being a scholar and teacher ... but it’s not your body, it’s just your mind.”

At times, both Kozak and Garcia have longed for their old lives. “I love my life now, but there were many times I thought, ‘Man, what if I had continued with that?’” said Kozak.

“You talk to boaters, climbers, skiers, and there’s always another mountain, another river, another objective out there. That’s one of the wonderful things about the lifestyle: There are concrete goals. There’s nothing else really like that in day-to-day life. Relationships are a whole lot messier.” Additionally, outdoor pursuits are rarely just about conquering a landscape.

They’re also about conquering yourself, wrestling with your own abilities and limitations. That’s pretty rewarding. “I’m definitely gone a lot, so that puts strain on my relationship,” said Garcia. “I was used to being in my truck and being on my own for years.

I was able to get up and leave. I find myself wanting to be back there, even now when I love having a wife and a daughter. ”

Can Peter Pans grow up?

Wilkinson assumes there is always

a part of the Peter Pan that would like to grow up, a part that’s not OK with not evolving. “I tell these people, ‘Who are you to think that you can do something the universe itself cannot do? Which is stand still,’” said Wilkinson. Wendys similarly deny problems exist, justifying or explaining their partner’s conduct.

“They’ll say, ‘He doesn’t know any better; I just need to take care of him,’ but that isn’t sustainable,” said Wilkinson. “If this woman comes into my office, I’ll help her reconstruct her own self-identity, without anything or anyone else.”

Take note, female DGO readers: Wilkinson addresses the telltale signs you’ve hooked a charming PP. “I would look for financial stability,” he said. “Or if he’s living out of his van or in a tent. Where do they put their priorities? These people can be really social and gregarious. The problems start when the woman wants more than he’s willing to give.”

Not all women eagerly await the day when their Peter Pan will change his ways. Tambri Garcia is as understanding as they come. “I think loving the outdoors is a very addictive thing, and for a lot of these men, it’s their spiritual journey,” Garcia said.

“They don’t necessarily voice it – but they need it. And women trying to make them give up that part of them is tragic, and can turn things dark really fast. I don’t know if the men who choose this lifestyle are built to be depended on by other people. They’re wired that way.”

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‘The Conjuring 2’ scary but overstuffed

By Richard Roeper The Chicago Sun-Times

At one point deep into the slick and undeniably scary but annoyingly overstuffed “The Conjuring 2,” Patrick Wilson’s 1970s ghostbuster takes out an acoustic guitar that has been sitting untouched for years in the corner of a shabby London home, tells a freaked-out mom and her scared-out-of-theirwits children to gather ’round – and proceeds to channel Elvis singing “I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You.” No, I really mean it.

It’s a tribute to director James Wan’s skill set and confidence that he puts the brakes on the story to give us this bizarre, albeit strangely touching sequence, but by then I was so irritated by Wan’s choice to extend nearly every scene beyond its stretching point and to poke us and prod us with essentially the same handful of scare tactics again and again and AGAIN that I wanted to reach through the screen and smash that acoustic guitar, a la John Belushi taking down Stephen Bishop in “National Lampoon’s Animal House.”

The unimaginatively titled “The Conjuring 2” is the follow-up to Wan’s razor-sharp supernatural thriller. The 2013 original was a stylized and fictionalized version of the supposedly true-life exploits of husband-and-wife team Ed and Lorraine Warren (Wilson and Vera Farmiga, both quite good), who claim some of the most welldocumented cases ever of haunted houses, demons, possessed girls who wind up crawling on the ceiling and speaking in that classic Linda Blair “Exorcist” voice – you know, that sort of thing.

“The Conjuring” was pretty cool because it fused cutting-edge camera moves and special effects with old-school horror in lieu of “torture porn” nonsense, i.e., blood and guts squirting all over the screen as a substitute for genuine storytelling.

Warner Bros. via AP

»» From left, Vera Farmiga, Simon McBurney, Abhi Sinha, Frances O’Connor and Patrick Wilson fight off demonic forces in “The Conjuring 2.”

The Conjuring 2 Playing at Stadium 9 Rating: R Genre: Horror Directed by: James Wan Written by: Chad Hayes, Carey

Hayes, David Leslie Johnson, James Wan Runtime: 2 hr. 13 min.

Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer: 68%

Wan retains his touch for ratcheting up the tension, providing doses of comic relief and then BOOM! – delivering another gotcha moment that will leave audiences jumping in their seats and then giggling at the visceral thrill ride. But the scary moments aren’t as fresh this time around, and with a running time of 2 hours, 13 minutes, “The Conjuring 2” is at least a halfhour too long.

After an unnecessary prologue revisiting the “Amityville Horror” story (I still ain’t buying it), and a sequence set on a TV chat show where Ed loses his temper when a professional skeptic casts doubts on the Warrens’ work, we finally get to the primary setting for the film: a house in a working-class neighborhood in Enfield, England.

Divorced mom Peggy Hodgson (Frances O’Connor) lives there

with her four children, who are suddenly being terrorized by slamming doors, loud knocks, creepy whispers, toys that come to life in the middle of the night, a seemingly empty rocking chair rocking, a television with a mind of its own and a nasty old cuss of a spirit who occasionally takes possession of the body of 13-year-old Janet (Madison Wolfe).

Wan is too smart and too aware of the genre not to have some fun with it. You know how there’s always that moment when you want to yell at the family, “Get out of the house! Run!” Well, “The Conjuring 2” has big fun with that – but then the Hodgsons return to the house, more than once, even though they know there’s a world of torture and fright awaiting them.

I admired the look of “The Conjuring 2.” The sets are welldesigned, the lighting superb, the cinematography suitably textured with creepy shadows and varying degrees of darkness offering just a hint of something wicked behind that door or around that corner.

It’s just a shame the end of the movie wasn’t lurking around the corner far sooner than when it finally turned up, by which time a considerable amount of my emotional investment in the film had been exhausted.

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[pages] Check this out ‘Euphoria,’ by Lily King Review by Mandy Mikulencak “Euphoria” by Lily King is one of those award-winning books that climbs to the top of every Top 10 list (New York Times, NPR, Oprah.com, Publishers Weekly, etc.).

Based loosely on an early period in the life of controversial anthropologist Margaret Mead, this fictionalized account is set in 1930s New Guinea ... Hey, don’t yawn just yet. There’s good reason this book is so popular.

The book opens with the failed suicide attempt of Andrew Bankson, an English anthropologist studying the (fictionalized) Kiona tribe. He meets a pair of fellow anthropologists fleeing from a cannibalistic tribe down river – American Nell Stone and her Australian husband, Schyler Fenwick (Fen) – and helps them find a new tribe to study.

The three young anthropologists have three completely different approaches to studying other cultures, which they find both infuriating and intoxicating. Throw in professional jealousy between Nell and Fen, and sexual tension between Nell and Bankson, and the novel moves along at a fast clip.

The complex themes made for quite a spirited discussion at my book club, with members talking over one another to make points about not only the compelling characters and story arc, but about the nature of anthropology itself. Probably the most fascinating theme is how the observer changes the nature of the tribe and people being observed. In the book, Nell takes a more personal, intrusive approach and bonds with the tribe members she studies, while her husband searches for a lost artifact that could finally make him a bigger success than his wife.

“Euphoria” is a highly enjoyable read all on its own, but readers shouldn’t be surprised to find themselves Googling Margaret Mead to find out more about the real-life inspiration for the story.

Mandy Mikulencak is a local author whose debut novel, “Burn Girl,” was a Maria’s Bookshop Top 10 Young Adult Book of 2015.

Weekly bestsellers May 29 to June 4 »»1. FBI Diary: Home Grown Terror, by Peter M. Klismet Jr. (Paperback) »»2. Euphoria, by Lily King (Paperback) »»3. A Man Called Ove, by Fredrik Backman (Paperback) »»4. The Emerald Mile, by Kevin Fedarko (Paperback) »»5. You Are A Badass, by Jen Sincero (Paperback) »»6. The Sympathizer, by Viet Thanh Nguyen (Paperback) »»7. The Hour of Land, by Terry Tempest Williams (Hardcover) »»8. The Last Season, by Eric Biehm (Paperback) »»9. Yellowstone Standoff, by Scott Graham (Paperback) »»10. Oh, the Places You’ll Go!, by Dr. Seuss (Hardcover) ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, June 9, 2016 | 17

[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

Driving while high: Some words of warning

T

he evidence on the scientific side is a bit unclear but, I assure you, should you be driving and encounter a law enforcement officer after having partaken of the bounty of Colorado’s beautiful weed gardens, the ensuing process will almost certainly not resemble the lighthearted shenanigans from the movie “Super Troopers.”

Though it falls under the same statute as the criminal charge for driving under the influence of alcohol, there are a few factors that make cannabis-related traffic issues a little less cut-and-dried than alcohol-related ones. These differences are related to the different ways in which the human body processes each of these chemicals.

The general rule for drinking alcohol and avoiding intoxication that could potentially interfere with the ability to safely operate a vehicle is the “one drink per hour” standard. Most adults of reasonable size (let’s call it 99 pounds and above) should be able to metabolize alcohol in the amount of one drink per hour – be it a beer, a glass of wine or a shot of liquor – without breaching the standard blood alcohol content (BAC) of 0.08 percent. If this pattern is followed, a driver can be reasonably assured that their BAC will not reach a concentration that might land them in trouble with the law and should reach a BAC of very near 0.00 percent with an extra hour of waiting before driving. Pretty simple.

Cannabis, on the other hand, is stored for much longer periods of time in your body’s system of cannabanoid receptors, which govern a wide variety of health and wellness systems. This is a substantial positive for individuals who use it under medical supervision, but a potentially negative factor should you come into contact with the police and be asked to take a blood test to determine the levels of THC in your bloodstream. (Yes, a blood test is necessary; there is no other way to determine the concentra-

David Holub/ BCI Media file illustration

tion of THC in your system.)

The legal limit for THC is 5 nanograms per milliliter of blood, or 5 ng/mL. This concentration level, ostensibly comparable to the 0.08 limit set for alcohol, may actually be at or near the baseline level for a medical patient or a long-term user of cannabis.

Instead of establishing a standard that compares apples to apples, this 5 ng/mL level could potentially be what causes legal problems for a driver who hasn’t used cannabis for up to seven days before an interaction with the police.

There have even been studies indicating that cannabis at low levels may promote more cautious driving, but I would advise not to test that without

appropriate scientific supervision on private property. A DUI arrest is a huge headache. There is the possibility of incarceration and high fines in addition to the potential unforeseen ensuing problems that might impact your personal and professional life. The state Legislature has recognized the science behind THC metabolism and made a provision to the laws concerning intoxicated driving to give arrestees the ability to argue against impairment when their court date comes, but this can be of little comfort to an individual going through the difficulties of the DUI process.

As we lead the vanguard of cannabis legalization nationwide, I offer just a few words of what I believe to be the soundest of advice regarding driving and marijuana: Be overly cautious. Cannabis arrests have traditionally been compared to “low-hanging fruit” for law enforcement officers – the pungent smell of burning marijuana (and even dry unsmoked) is like a homing beacon for the police. Smoking in public is illegal and can easily draw unwanted attention. Smoking while in a moving vehicle, even for passengers, is also illegal. And, for the love of every cannabis user intelligent enough to rub two brain cells together, do not, I repeat, DO NOT consume edibles and drive.

This combination is the one that is most comparable to the physical and mental impairment caused by overconsumption of alcohol and is really just looking for trouble.

As summer approaches, go out and have fun, DGO; smoke some beautiful buds with your friends.

But before you do, figure out a safe travel plan. Don’t look back at this article someday and say, “Damn, I should’ve followed that advice!” It’s just not worth it. I promise.

Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com

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[review]

[Netflix and chill — 420 edition]

‘Deep Blue Sea’ Lemon Diesel What is it?

This strain came highly suggested from a knowledgeable grower friend, and I’m glad I took her advice. It’s a bit of an unknown, and so are the genetics.

Its parents are actually a combination of California Sour and Lost Coast OG. Coming in at a very respectable 24.3 percent THC, it hits hard and fast. I’d consider it a very middle of the road hybrid, but most people feel it leans a bit indica.

The effects Soon after you take your first hit, you’ll notice a very pleasant spacey euphoria that instantly relaxes your mind.

But a few more hits and you’ll find an all-over feeling of well being. This is one of those strains that affect everyone differently. I’ve heard people say it feels very sativa, and they like it for daytime. I’ve also had customers who claim to love it for its indica relaxation, and even sleep. Either way, it’s a happy variety that causes almost everyone to feel elevated and euphoric.

The director of 1999’s “Deep Blue Sea” (Renny Harlin) knew he couldn’t top Spielberg’s iconic “Jaws,” but still tried to make his shark movie bigger, badder and a whole lot sillier. Instead of one huge shark, Harlin has three.

They’re 26 feet long (Jaws was 25).

And the coup de grâce – Harlin’s sharks are SMART. Getting stoned tends to increase your fear of things (hello, crippling paranoia), but even if you have a (healthy) fear of sharks, this movie is too fun to miss.

The story begins at Aquatica, a remote ocean facility where a team of scientists are searching for an Alzheimer’s cure. Fluids from the brain tissue of three mako sharks are being harvested; but Dr. Susan McAlester (Saffron Burrows) is secretly violating a code of ethics and genetically engineering the sharks to increase their brain size. She desperately wants to cure the disease, but this is a really bad idea. The sharks’ bigger brains make them more dangerous. Soon they team up to flood the facility in a frenzied bid for freedom,

killing off most human characters in the process.

Scientifically, this movie doesn’t make a lot of sense. Sharks would never behave this way. But if you’re stoned enough, you won’t care. The sharks are actually pretty realistic: computer generated when swimming in water, but animatronic when interacting with the actors. As we all know from “Jaws,” animatronic creatures are tangible and convincing.

Best of all, the movie makes fun of itself. It’s a summer blockbuster that knows it’s not a serious film. Some disaster flicks try to be all profound, but “DBS” doesn’t suffer from such a strain.

One scene in particular is as shocking and original as anything I’ve seen out of Hollywood: Samuel L. Jackson (who plays a corporate executive sent to investigate Aquatica) is a commandeering presence who gets typecast as the perpetual survivor. Here, he gives a rousing, inspirational, “we’re going to make it” speech to the facility’s remaining employees as they all scramble to

get out alive. Everyone is motivated. Things are looking up. And then ... well, you’ll see.

Keep in mind: The film perpetuates an unfair stereotype. Sharks are not actually man-eaters. They do take bites out of people, but that’s because they’re confused or curious. They’ll mistake you for a seal (especially if you are on a surfboard). Those who die from attacks die from blood loss, as the shark realizes it’s a human after just one nibble (yuck!) But take heart! Shark attacks are very rare.

—— Anya Jaremko-Greenwold

R M E D C

The smell

Very dark amber hairs with pale green buds, and covered with white trichomes.

The taste This is the most lemon-tasting bud I’ve ever smoked, and the taste stays on your palate for quite a while.

The final verdict This is one of those strains everyone loves. It seems to react differently with everyone’s body chemistry, so the effects might coincide with what your body needs. It’s fast becoming a favorite at our shop, and just a few hits will tell you why. It doesn’t have a great value as a medicinal plant, but the recreation effects are fantastic.

—— Patrick Dalton Durango Recroom

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[love and sex]

Savage Love | Dan Savage

Penile problems big and small, clean and clogged I’m a 33-year-old straight guy with a small dick.

I have a girlfriend of seven years. When we met, I was really insecure and she had to spend a lot of time reassuring me that it didn’t matter – she loved my dick, sex with me was great, it was big enough for her, etc. I broke up with her once because I didn’t think she should settle for someone so small. After some hugely painful nights and another near breakup, we are in a good place now.

We have lots of great vanilla sex, we love being together, and we recently got engaged. After everything I put her through – and I put her through hell – how do I tell her that being mocked (and worse) for having a small dick is the only thing I ever think about when I masturbate? I want a woman to punish me emotionally and physically for having such a small and inadequate dick.

There’s porn about my kink, but I didn’t discover it until long after I was aware of my interest. (I grew up in a weird family that lived “off the grid,” and I didn’t get online until I got into college at age 23.)

I’ve never been able to bring myself to tell anyone about my kink. How do I tell this woman? I basically bullied her into telling me that my dick was big enough – and now I want her to tell me it isn’t big enough. But do I really want her to? I’ve never actually experienced the kind of insulting comments and physical punishments that I fantasize about. What if the reality is shattering?

Tense In New York “I was in a similar situation years ago with my thengirlfriend, now-wife,” said TP. “I was too chicken to tell her about my fetish and worried she wasn’t satisfied with my size, so I didn’t want to bring more attention to it. I eventually went to a pro Domme and felt guilty about doing it behind my girlfriend’s back.”

TP, which stands for Tiny Prick, is a prominent member of the SPH (small penis humiliation) fetish scene. TP is active on Twitter (@deliveryboy4m) and maintains a blog devoted to the subjects of SPH (his passion) and animal rights (a subject his Domme is passionate about) at fatandtiny.blogspot.com.

“I got really lucky because I found the Domme I’ve been serving for more than 10 years,” said TP. “It was my Domme who encouraged me to bring up my kinks with my wife. I only wish I had told my wife earlier. She hasn’t turned into a stereotypical dominatrix, but she was open to incorporating some SPH play into our sex life.”

According to TP, TINY, you’ve already laid the

groundwork for the successful incorporation of SPH into your sex life: You’re having good, regular and satisfying vanilla sex with your partner.

“TINY’s partner is happy with their sex life, so he knows he can satisfy a woman,” said TP. “That will help to separate the fantasy of the humiliation from the reality of their strong relationship. I know if I wasn’t having good vanilla sex, it would be much harder to enjoy the humiliation aspect of SPH.” When you’re ready to broach the subject with the fiancée, TINY, I would recommend starting with both an apology (“I’m sorry again for what I put you through”) and a warning (“What I’m about to say is probably going to come as a bit of a shock”).

Then tell her you have a major kink you haven’t disclosed, tell her she has a right to know about it before you marry, tell her that most people’s kinks are wrapped up with their biggest fears and anxieties ... and she’ll probably be able to guess what you have to tell her before you can get the words out.

“He should explain to her that he doesn’t want to be emotionally hurt as much as he wants to feel exposed and vulnerable, and that can be a thrill,” said TP. “It can be hard for people to understand how humiliation can be fun. But humiliation play is one way to add a new dynamic to their sexual relationship.”

I was traveling and forgot to pack lube, so I amused myself with some old conditioner I’d brought. It had some menthol in it or something and it tingled a bit, but it did the job. When I woke up, my dick had shriveled into a leathery red sheath of pain. I looked at the bottle again, and it wasn’t conditioner, it was actually a 10 percent benzoyl peroxide cleanser. After a few days, my leathery foreskin flaked off and the pain went away. Should I be concerned about my dick?

Onanism Until Cock Hurts No, OUCH, your dick should be concerned about you. You’re the one who, despite having a foreskin to work/jerk with, grabbed the nearest bottle of whatever was handy instead of using the masturbation sleeve the good Lord gave ya. And you’re the one who didn’t read the label on the nearest bottle of whatever before pouring its contents all over your cock. Caveat masturbator!

I have a health question/problem. About a week and a half ago, the wife and I had sex. Being

the genius that I am, I got the idea to put two condoms on because I thought it would help me last longer. (Spoiler alert: It didn’t.) The problem is, I guess the double condoms were too tight, and climaxing hurt quite a bit. For all intents and purposes, it’s like I duct-taped the tip of my penis shut and tried to blow a load. Even days after, the left side of my penis head was really sensitive and it hurt. It’s gotten better, but it’s too sensitive to touch from time to time. I have a doctor’s appointment to make sure I’m OK, but it’s two weeks away. I’m a little worried I may have hurt my prostate or urethra or something.

From my basic googling, there doesn’t seem to be any medical advice about this. Help please?

Penile Problem Possessor “The application of an external constriction to the penis did potentially cause the pressure in the urethra to rise, possibly traumatically, during ejaculation,” said Dr. Keith D. Newman, a urologist, a fellow of the American College of Surgeons, and a regular guest expert in Savage Love (his most prestigious professional accomplishment).

In other words, PPP, somehow those two condoms conspired to dam up your piss slit – aka your urethral meatus – and the force of your impeded ejaculation damn near blew off your cock.

“We sometimes see a similar phenomenon occur with people who wear constriction bands or cock rings that are too tight and try to either urinate or ejaculate with the ring on,” said Dr. Newman.

“The result is a traumatic stretch of the urethra and microscopic tears in the lining of the urethra (mucosa). This disruption in the lining allows for electrolytes in the urine (particularly potassium) to stimulate the nerves in the layer beneath the lining (submucosa), thereby creating a chronic dull ache, such as PPP describes.”

Your urethra should heal just fine in time – within a couple of weeks – but there are meds and other interventions if you’re still in pain a few weeks from now. “The bottom line is never impede urination or ejaculation by obstructing the urethra,” said Dr. Newman.

Dan Savage is a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist writing for The Stranger in Seattle. Contact him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter and listen to his podcast every week at savagelovecast.com

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[happening] One-night screening of ‘Roar’ If you like animals – both of the four-legged and two-legged variety – then head out to Durango Stadium 9 on Thursday for a one-night screening of the 1981 cult classic film “Roar.”

Presented by the Durango-based Something Wild Film Festival, “Roar” follows wildlife preservationist Hank (“The Exorcist” producer Noel Marshall), who lives alongside more than 100 untamed animals, including cheetahs, elephants, lions – a lot of lions – and tigers on a preservation in Africa. When his wife and children arrive for a visit, a long-brewing battle for dominance between the lions erupts and threatens their very lives.

“Roar” was directed by Noel Marshall and stars Tippi Hedren, Melanie Griffith, Noel Marshall, John Marshall and Jerry Marshall.

The movie starts at 6:30 p.m. and tickets are $11.

Thursday Beer Bingo, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., Moe’s, 937

Main Ave., 259-9018.

Kirk James, 5:30-7:30 p.m., Kennebec Cafe,

Hesperus.

Robby Overfield, 7 p.m., Office Spirito-

rium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Tim Sullivan, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Friday Live music and dancing on the patio with Eric Keifer, 6 p.m. - 9 p.m., and DJ Icite,

9 p.m. to close. Moe’s, 937 Main Ave., 259-9018.

Andy Janowsky, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond

Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Dustin Burley, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Outdoor Movie Night,“Inside Out,”

8:30 p.m. Three Springs Plaza, 125 Mercado Street.

Saturday Kirk James Blues Band, 11 a.m. - 2:30

Where should we

DGO tonight?

p.m., Women’s Resource Center Annual Fundraiser, Buckley Park., 259-5977, http://www. kirkjames.com.

Kirk James, 5-8 p.m., Serious Texas BBQ,

259-5977, http://www.kirkjames.com.

The Cannondolls, live music and danc-

ing on the patio, 6 p.m. - 9 p.m., and DJ Noonz, 9 p.m. - close, Moe’s, 937 Main Ave., 259-9018 The Black Velvet duo, with Nina Sasaki & Larry Carver, 5-9 p.m., Animas

River Cafe in the DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, 259-6580.

Your #1 source for what’s going on around Durango dgomag.com/calendar

Ute Mountain Roundup Rodeo, 7p.m., Montezuma County Fairgrounds, 30100 Hwy 160.

Mandolin Orange, 7:30 p.m., The Sherbino, 604 Clinton St., Ridgway., 318-092.

Mike Testa, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

+ Add an Event

to the DGO calendar with

Continued on Page 22

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[happening] Check out Oblee at Moe’s “One looper and a pile of instruments” – Durango’s Oblee will be bringing it all to Moe’s, 937 Main Ave., on Friday night.

Made up of original songs and compositions with a few cool covers thrown in for good measure (They Might Be Giants, Ween, The Kills, The Butthole Surfers, to name a few), Oblee pulls you in and makes sure you stay interested all the way through to the end, one-man-band-style.

The show starts at 6:30 p.m. Friday. There’s no cover.

For more information, call 259-9018.

From Page 21

Rob Webster, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Sunday

Being Charlie, 7 p.m., Wright Opera House, 472 Main St., Ouray., 325-4399.

Ute Mountain Roundup Rodeo, 7p.m., Montezuma County Fairgrounds, 30100 Hwy 160

Pingpong and poker tournament, 8

p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main Ave., 259-9018.

Blue Moon Ramblers, 7-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Ongoing

Robby Overfield, 7 p.m., Office Spirito-

Art exhibit, by Chandler Wigton, through

rium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

June 29, Raider Ridge Cafe, 509 East 8th Ave.

Barn Dance and Picnic with Tim Sullivan Band, 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. River Bend

The Thread, solar plate etchings, through

Ranch, 27846 Hwy 550. $15 at the door, children under 12 are free.

June 25, Art Library, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., durangoarts.org/lauriearcher.

Contiki, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main Ave., 259-

“Animalia,” by Nine Francois, through July

9018.

The Black Velvet Trio, with Nina Sasaki & Larry Carver, 6-9 p.m., Cyprus

13, Open Shutter Gallery, 735 Main Ave., www. openshuttergallery.com.

Cafe, 725 E. 2nd Ave., 385-6884.

Submissions

Monday

There are three ways to submit listings for publication in the Herald,

Chad MacCluskey, 6-9 p.m., Cyprus Cafe, 725 East Second Ave., 385-6884.

Rob Webster, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Tuesday Tim Sullivan, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Open Mic Night, 8 p.m., Moe’s, 937 Main

Ave., 259-9018.

Wednesday Greg Ryder, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

durangoherald.com and Southwest Scene (swscene.com), the Herald’s local events companion website. Submit events at www.durangoherald. com/section/eventsubmit or email your listing to herald@durangoherald.com no later than noon Wednesday for the coming week. You can also post event listings directly and at your convenience at swscene.com, which allows for quick and easy changes or updates. Go to www. swscene.com and click “Add Your Event,” fill out the form with all your event info and submit.

Listings at swscene.com will continue to appear both at durangoherald.com and in our weekly print section. Posting events at swscene.com is free and take about one business day to process.

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Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Don’t get carried away with disputes about money, inheritances and shared property. Will an argument really change anything? Stay calm, and rely on logic instead of a hot temper.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Difficulties with spouses, partners and close friends are likely today because Mercury is in your sign, opposing fiery Mars. (Yikes!) This means people are ready to fight!

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You are mentally restless this week; however, you can use this energy for research or to seek out answers to problems. Focus your search in one area.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

Difficulties with a friend or perhaps a member of a group might arise. Basi-

cally, it’s a gun fight at the O.K. Corral.

Who has the biggest weapon?

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) Difficulties with authority figures are likely, which is why this is a poor time to ask for approval or permission for anything. Just keep a low profile and don’t go looking for trouble.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Avoid controversial subjects like politics, religion and racial issues because they will quickly deteriorate into a nasty argument. Mostly, this is because people want to fight.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) Disputes about inheritances and shared property are likely this week.

This is a poor time for these kinds of discussions; therefore, wait for a better day.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) Difficulties with partners and close friends are likely because fiery Mars is in your sign opposing Mercury, which is directly opposite you. Chill out.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Squabbles with co-workers or people related to your job are likely. However, it takes two to make a fight, right?

Therefore, refuse to engage. Time to go fishing.

Every time you have family dissension, everyone loses. This is the truth.

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) This is a mildly accident-prone week because you might be emotionally upset about something. Just keep calm and carry on. Truer words were never spoken. An agitated mind will lead to accidents.

BORN THIS WEEK

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

Your curiosity opens doors for you.

You are fun-loving and creative. Your inquiring mind never stops. In the next three years, you will experience a time of culmination, success and financial accumulation. That’s why it is wise for you to settle your debts this year.

This is a social year that deals with the repercussions of last year’s change.

Avoid family disputes today because it’s just not worth it. Family is gold.

© 2016 King Features Syndicate Inc.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Be patient with kids because they are just as likely to quarrel as you are.

Knowing this, direct people’s attention to things you have in common.

[twitter talks hillary] No matter what your opinion is of Hillary Clinton, you gotta admit, we’re all [bleeping] sick of hearing it.

Chris Kelly, @imchriskelly

Seriously, Hillary isn’t perfect, but the idea of saying Madame President is pretty exciting.

Evan Saathoff, @evansaathoff

*2 years into Hillary’s first term* Bernie bros: Bernie still has a chance! Superdelegates! Recount the votes!

Eve Peyser, @evepeyser

Everyone talking about Hillary’s milestone but nobody mentions Trump would be the 1st “suit full of turds animated by racist wig” president. @nice_mustard

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