Go Inside The Smiley Building by Ballantine Communications

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Filled with artists, businesses and nonprofits, this eco-friendly building could be Durango’s most interesting

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Also: Loving and hating Christmas music, obscure seasonal cinema, preparing your Snowdown costume(s), beer trends for ’17, and a new feature ‘Vintage Durango’

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DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 2 Number 9

December 22, 2016

Chief Executive Officer Douglas Bennett V.P. of Finance and Operations Bob Ganley

NEW FEATURE: Vintage Durango

V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis Founding Editors

5 Get Smart about the holiday blues Festivus got you stress-tivused? Christmas crushing your vibe? Hanukkah haranguing ya? Let psychologist Emily Ragsdale, of EL Ragsdale Psychology, tell you a bit about why you’re feeling that way, and what you can do about it.

From the Editor

Love it or Hate it

Sound

Downtown Lowdown

Style Fetish

David Holub

Beer

Editor/ creative director

16 Movies

Amy Maestas

10 Obscure season cinema

David Holub dholub@bcimedia.com 375-4551

17 Pages 18 Weed

There is a whole wide world of tinsel-tastic flicks out there. It’s not like you have to stick to the classics after you take off your Rudolph onesie, slip into your eggnog bath, and turn on the TV. Get your ho ho ho going with these lesser-known Christmas movies.

Staff writer Patty Templeton ptempleton@bcimedia.com 375-4546 Contributors Katie Cahill Christopher Gallagher Dan Groth Bryant Liggett

Album Reviews 6-7

Seeing Through the Smoke

20 Savage Love 21 Happening 23 Horoscope/ puzzles/ Bizarro

Jon E. Lynch Heather Narwid

17 Ornate Feelings

Cooper Stapleton Cyle Talley Robert Alan Wendeborn Advertising 247-3504 Reader Services 375-4570

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

What does yesteryear Durango look like? How does old-time intersect with present day? In “Vintage Durango,” DGO Staff Writer Patty Templeton will explore modern cool-hunting through historical ephemera. The series starts on Page 19.

Artist/poet Dan Groth returns with his funny-bizarre take.

/dgomag

@dgo_mag

ON THE COVER Adult monkey bars in a hallway on the top floor of the Smiley Building. Shaun Stanley/BCI Media

Tell us what you think! Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

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David Holub |DGO editor

What makes Christmas great? The utterly bizarre traditions While bushwhacking through the thorny scrub that is the War on Christmas – you know, that newfangled celebration that now occurs in the weeks leading up to Christmas wherein some “Christians” froth at the mouth insisting that the sun revolves around the Earth and everyone respect their traditions, while refusing to respect anyone else’s – I got to thinking about Christmas traditions. Mainly, no matter how you look at them – even the most widely practiced – they’re pretty bizarre. The comedian Jim Gaffigan points out how our most cherished Christmas traditions are a tad strange – cutting down trees and bringing them inside, while taking lights from inside and putting them outside: “It kinda sounds like the behavior of a drunk man, really: [slurring] ‘We’re going to decorate (the tree) … for Jesus. And then I’m going to hang my socks over the fireplace, fill them with candy. Maybe I’ll tie some leaves to the ceiling, see if I can get some action.’” Far from celebrating the birth of Christ, it appears that Christmas is a holiday across the globe invented solely to coerce children into behaving or otherwise doing what they’re told. In the U.S., the jolly, toy-schlepping Santa Claus rewards well-behaved (or “nice” children) with toys, while genially ignoring those deemed naughty (or mockingly leaving them BBQ briquettes). American kids should be thankful they didn’t grow up in Austria or various eastern European nations. There, they have Krampus: a hairy, behooved and horned figure that is half goat, half demon and friend of St. Nicholas (O, the company Santa keeps) who punishes misbehaving children. In Iceland, there’s the Yule cat that eats children who haven’t worked hard enough all year. How does the cat know who’s been slacking? They’re wearing old clothes. Because all the hard-working children get new clothes for Christmas. Makes sense to me. Iceland, it seems, has the market

on odd Christmas traditions. There’s the Christmas Book Flood, wherein the days leading up to Christmas, the country buys and exchanges books en masse – everyone must have at least one to take to bed on Christmas Eve. I mean, books! Who does that?! Iceland is also home to the Yule Lads, 13 different troll-like figures who come one at a time in the days leading up to Christmas. More malfeasant in the past, the Lads these days these are fairly docile, leaving gifts in the shoes of well-behaved children, but otherwise are simply cheeky and mischievous, mainly stealing things like various cookware, leftovers, assorted meats and candles. One licks spoons, one is a peeping Tom, and one harasses sheep. Misdemeanors at worst. In Japan, even though Christmas isn’t even a thing, 3.6 million eat buckets of KFC, all because of a successful ad campaign by the country’s first franchise in the early ’70s. While American kids leave milk and cookies for the understandably-beleaguered Santa, the Australians do the same with cookies but supply a beverage the clearly-boozing “I ain’t no” St. Nick might prefer: beer. A more thoughtful nation, the Aussies also leave carrots for the reindeer, which are certainly hungry after getting the shaft in the U.S. Meanwhile, back in America, the new holiday tradition of Merry Christmas is in full throttle, thanks to Electoral College-confirmed panderer-in-chief Donald Trump, who promised, “If I become president, we’re all going to be saying Merry Christmas again, that I can tell you.” For the holiday of Merry Christmas, everyone will dress as thinned-skinned church-goers and go around town demanding everyone, regardless of faith or tradition, utter the words “Merry Christmas.” If anyone refuses, Trump will crash-repel through the ceiling and make you wear a tacky red baseball cap until Dec. 26. Nothing abnormal there.

Christmas music Love It Snow flutters outside. Light glitters on the tree. Hot chocolate is in hand. You know what’s next. CHRISTMAS MUSIC! I LOVE CHRISTMAS MUSIC! (Imagine me shout-singing this while leaping from a red and green, voluminously ribboned present.) This is not a blanket statement. There are totally crap Christmas songs out there. But there’s also RuPaul’s “Jingle Dem Bells” or any of James Dooley’s Christmas instrumental work. I’m particularly fond of his “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” It sounds like what Beowulf woulda curled up to with a hot toddy. Take it 180 the other way, and you got Ultra Lounge’s “Christmas Cocktails” – a retrolicious, tikitastic take on Christmas. And, oh my Eris, have you heard Tennessee Ernie Ford’s “Christmas Favorites?” Most people know Ford for “Sixteen Tons,” but I frikkin love his hymns and holiday stuff. It doesn’t all have to be obscura, either. I can get down with Bing Crosby. One of my favorite events of the season is watching “White Christmas,” and you can be damn sure I make it a dress-up, sing-a-long affair. What I’m saying is, there’s definitely crap out there. Christmas albums I’d have no qualms starting a dumpster fire with. But there is more good out there than there is bad. Now, if you excuse me, I gotta get swingin’ to Reverend Horton Heat’s “We Three Kings” and Brian Setzer’s “Boogie Woogie Christmas.” — Patty Templeton

Hate it You’d understand completely if you’d been living inside my head for the past four weeks, where “Sleigh Ride” and “Jingle Bell Rock” have been playing ’round the clock. I’m pretty sure the CIA uses such tactics to break down terrorists. There’s a wacky dynamic Christmas music has, wherein the catchier the jingle and the more nauseating the lyrics the more likely that particular carol will lodge itself in your brain rabies-like, making one foam at the mouth and attack innocent bystanders relentlessly. I recall in fourth grade uttering the phrase, “It’s February and I’m still singing Christmas carols!” Give me the rabies next time. Christmas music is intolerable for two reasons primarily. One, it’s the same songs sung over and over again, people thinking that what the world needs is one more rendition of “Little Drummer Boy.” They’ll slow them down or speed them up, put techno beats behind them, or awkwardly pair David Bowie and Bing Crosby, but it’s still the same insufferable song. Two, the content of the music is unbearable, whether it’s the arrogant, ethnocentric “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” or the date-rapey “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” or the repugnant nostalgia of every other Christmas song ever, celebrating times where things were (hardly) perfect, a world where children live to wear mittens and sled, where folks travel by sleigh, and Christmas is always white, white, white. — David Holub

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[Expert Advice on Trivial Affairs]

Get Smart | Cyle Talley

On the holiday blues Festivus got you stress-tivused? Christmas crushing your vibe? Hanukkah haranguing ya? Let psychologist Emily Ragsdale, of EL Ragsdale Psychology, tell you a bit about why you’re feeling that way, and what you can do about it. Winter and weather have finally arrived. How do they impact people?

idea of self-care, of putting yourself and your needs first rather than taking care of someone else, which is what we’re raised to do. But really, we do need to take care With the days being shorter, with there of ourselves in order to be available to being less sunlight, and it being cold, people take care of anyone or anything else. Doing generally don’t have as much physical things as basic as making sure that you’re activity, or the desire to be outside, really. eating healthy and getting enough sleep. That can definitely have a negative impact You ought to have some sort of physical on people and gives them a greater negRagsdale activity each day. Also, the ability to say ative effectivity. Things get harder, emo“No” can be huge. Not taking on a million tions are more on the negative end of the responsibilities and committing yourself to 10 differspectrum. People are more sluggish and down in the ent things when what you really need to do is have dumps. I think it can be pretty individualized. It can be some quiet time and maybe read a good book that has an increase in depression, or feeling sad. Not having no other purpose besides that you enjoy it, or watch the energy or interest in doing things is a part of it as a movie when what you really need to be doing is well. The counterpart to that, but also super-related, is clean the house. It’s important to take care of anxiety. Feeling almost like keyed up or more anxious. yourself, to feed your soul. It seems like Anxiety and depression are very closely tied and it can the holidays can come with a lot of often be difficult to tease apart which one is which or if different struggles for different it’s both. people. One of those is feeling What are the “holiday blues”? Are they really lonely, or being acutely different than seasonal affective disoraware of the fact that some der? relationships that you The stress that holidays can put on families financialused to have aren’t there ly, the sense of expectations that either aren’t being anymore due to death, fulfilled or aren’t being fulfilled to the degree that we’d loss, moving, any number want. Seasonal affective disorder is more cyclical and of reasons. Intentionally happens every year, or every changing of the season. reaching out, being with The holidays bring a lot with them, and it might be people that help to foster splitting really fine hairs, but seasonal affective disorhealthy relationships can der and the holiday blues are separate things. be really important. Whoa, wait. SAD can happen at each turn of the season? I have actually encountered a couple of people for whom any change in the season or a change in weather can bring on different difficulties. They have to work to adjust to a new way of being, and so it’s not strictly winter, although that does seem to be the most common. Summer probably doesn’t impact most people in a negative way [laughs] but changing from summer into fall and having things start to die and change can bring on different emotions. In the end, coping is different for everyone, but are there some baseline strategies? It seems like the most global one would be self-care. I don’t know if it’s a Western cultural thing or not, but it seems like we often have a hard time embracing the

the person in front of you has 50 items. Let it go! You’ll get through as quickly as possible and being upset or annoyed by it isn’t going to serve anyone, especially you, because you’ll likely be in a bad mood – and maybe for the rest of the day. Take a deep breath. Relax. It’ll all happen when it happens. You’ll get through. Intentionally slowing down, not getting upset when someone rushes past and bumps into you, or when you’ve committed to 10 parties and you’re rushing around like crazy – just slow down. It’ll be OK. Cyle Talley is the master of the hurry-up-slow-down. He just Nama-stays the hell out of all of the stores until an hour before they close. If there’s something you’d like to GET SMART about, email him at: cyle@cyletalley.com

But it’s go time! How do we selfcare in the midst of the crazy?! One of my mentors once told me, “When you’re in a hurry, slow down.” I try to incorporate that into my life by intentionally slowing down. Say you’re feeling rushed, but you’re standing in line at the grocery store in the 15 items or less checkout counter and

�� Thursday, December 22, 2016 | 5

[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Forget the past, here are the albums to look for in 2017 I will say again. There is just so much great music being made w there is no need to solely rehash what was recorded 10 years ago, 20 years ago, or in the Summer of Love. My associates that collect and listen to nothing but bootleg cassettes of The Radiators, my friend who continues to see all the shitty, original hair-metal bands in venues that get smaller and smaller and in more obscure, out-of-theway strip malls, and, of course, the Grateful Dead people, are OK to talk music with and some of them get loose but seldom go out and pursue a new or up-and-coming band. They’ll spin another poorly-recorded concert with songs they’ve heard a thousand times and they may as well be eating a moldy sandwich. That’s not a pursuit of new music; it’s a pursuit of memories, and that’s a poor approach for music lovers when there is so much great music being recorded now, everywhere. Many musicians haven’t revealed if they’re putting out anything in 2017, and just as many more probably haven’t started recording the next big record. But there’s already a lot of stuff in the can, including, sadly, a new record from Quiet Riot.

Bryant’s best Thursday: Folk and rock with Rob Webster, 6 p.m. No cover. Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St. in Bodo Park. Information: 247-5792. Friday: Country music with Andy Janowsky, 5:30 p.m. No cover. Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Information: 375-7150.

These aren’t reviews, and they’re not really previews. They’re encouragement.

the Nudie Suits, the rock, and themselves back to Durango.

Dale and Ray,“Dale and Ray”

The Jesus and Mary Chain

Honky-tonker Dale Watson teams up with Western swing icon and Asleep at the Wheel frontman Ray Benson in what should surely be the country album of the year. But because country awards go to vanilla pop stars in cowboy hats, this will be a darling album to those with refined tastes who despise the mainstream.

Their first album in nearly 20 years, the explosive Reid brothers’ return, with perhaps less violence and drug consumption as the ’80s go-round.

The Sadies,“Northern Passages” Canada’s purveyors of psychedelic country and garage rock don’t know how to put out a bad album. It’s just not in their DNA, and hopefully after the release of this in February, they’ll find a way to bring

Body Count,“Bloodlust” I had no idea Body Count still existed due to Ice-T’s career in Hollywood. This is a record I’ll never buy, but that doesn’t dismiss my hope that Ice-T is still taking stark notice and audible shots at the political climate and street activity. Old 97s,“Graveyard Whistling” Let’s hope for the murder ballads, train songs and

rock that this Dallas quartet has made for decades. Spiritualized The English rock outfit’s forthcoming record coincides with the 20th Anniversary of “Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space.” Records are often judged by their ability to live up to a band’s past, and this will be no different with Spiritualized capable of blasting the hype. Son Volt,“Notes of Blue” The music of Jay Farrar has carried a raw, and perhaps better, representation of the blue collar of Belleville, Illinois, than that of his band mate from decades ago. He’s explored American music without being a genre poster child, the forthcoming being Son Volts abstract exploration of the blues. But wait, there’s more! Cloud Nothings, The XX, The Infamous Stringdusters, LCD Soundsystem, Bruce Springsteen, Nikki Lane, The Feelies, Joan of Arc, Thievery Corporation, Sepultura, My Morning Jacket, The Arcade Fire, among others, also have stuff happening. Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

What’s new The Frightnrs,“Nothing More to Say” Available: Now via Daptone Records as a digital download in MP3, FLAC and WAV formats, on compact disc and standard black vinyl. Back in late August/early September, I received a package stamped in the upper left-hand corner with the familiar Daptone Record logo/seal. Daptone is a label that rarely, if ever, disappoints, and releases some of the best new retro-soul albums from the likes of Charles Bradley, The Budos Band, Lee Fields and The Expressions, Menahan Street Band, and Sharon Jones (R.I.P) and the Dap-Kings.

So, I assumed that an album by a band on their roster that I’d never heard of, The Frightnrs, would be somewhere in the vein of any of those aforementioned artists. I was beyond pleasantly surprised as the first few seconds of album opener, “All My Tears,” had the very obvious stylings of classic rocksteady and early two-tone Ska. I was instantly hooked. To contextualize: Growing up a punk-loving adolescent, there was a decent amount of tape trading happening among friends with older siblings. At the time, some of these classic Ska artists were being filtered in and onto these tapes. It was my early foray into branching out, musically speaking.

It makes sense to me that a band like The Frightnrs put out a retro rocksteady record on Daptone. If there are other bands out there currently making music throwing back to this era, I’m just not all that privy to it. Based on personal spins, “Nothing More to Say” has been one of my most-listened-to records of the year, and I can add to that one of my favorite albums of the year. Recommended for those who pine for the bygone era of two tone and the fringe bands and tendrils of that era and artists such as Desmond Dekkar, Derrick Morgan and The Aces, Roy Shirley, Toots & The Maytals, The Specials, The Selecter, or The Beat. —— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

6 | Thursday, December 22, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[sound]

Cooper Stapleton’s favorite albums of 2016 share, even if it is only as a small pad of concrete for crust punk kids to skate on and not get harassed by security guards. The real American dream.

I’m going to try to not gush about what this album means to me. I witnessed its birth and the pains that came with its gestation and could only look on from a distance in wonder. It is a truly remarkable record, a progressive death metal masterpiece that tells the story of a pilgrim whose journey simultaneously builds up his ego and utterly destroys it, weaving a story both grand in its scope and intimate in its detail, a tale timeless and so bafflingly relevant to the creative process that it shook me to my core regularly. Metal music is about embracing the extreme ends of the emotional spectrum. A good metal record makes you feel like you are 10 feet tall, a better metal record makes you feel as if the weight of the entire universe is upon your shoulders. A great metal record does both, and that is, at its core, what Slice The Cake has done here; a genuine burst of vulnerability, despair, triumph, exaltation, freedom, and beauty. If that is not what the true purpose of art as a whole is, then I do not understand art.

3. Astronoid,“Air”

2. AJJ,“Bible 2” We have listened to “Bible 2” at the shop at least once a week since it came out, and I am not sick of it. I was only thrust into the world of folk punk in the last year and a half or so, and it’s a wonderful world to be a part of. The best word to describe AJJ is “genuine.” They play their instruments, if not with mastery, then with a palpable energy and love that even the most virtuosic instrumentalists can fail to convey. The songs are about friends, about addiction, about nothing, and about the small gifts that simply being can bring us daily. With every story we tell, we change the future, and AJJ brings that to mind with their recollections of hanging out in parking lots and a desire to be remembered that we all

I hated this record the first time I heard it. Black metal with vocals like Claudio Sanchez from Coheed and Cambria? Pass. But then I kept listening. And I kept listening. And I began to understand. And then I cracked, and fell head over heels in love with this record. Astronoid have put together something truly beautiful. I hate describing things as “feel-good” but that’s what keeps coming to mind, with moments of pure elation punctuated by astounding tight and precise instrumentation. This is the album to show to people who think metal music is all growling and murder. 4. Perturbator,“The Uncanny Valley” If you, like me, are in love with the resurgence of synthesizer-based music, you have one Frenchman to thank for that. Perturbator has been making the cyberpunk soundtracks to latenight drives fueled by chainsmoking and pills of unknown origin for years now, and this year he released what I believe to be his magnum opus, “The Uncanny Valley.” With one foot firmly set in the future as dictated by “Blade Runner” and “Ghost in the Shell,” and the other foot in a crazy satanic plane of existence that worships androids and raw sexual energy, “The Uncanny Valley” in an accomplishment of atmosphere, songwriting, and hardware to rival anything that ever came before it. If you don’t think dance music has enough flavor, then you owe it to yourself to experience “The Uncanny Valley.” 5. Oranssi Pazuzu, “Värähtelijä” Transcending the label of black metal, Finland’s Oranssi Pazuzu constructed a psychedelic nightmare to score the long life of a being adrift in space for

eons. “Värähtelijä” (meaning “resonator” in the band’s native tongue) came out early in the year but stuck with me throughout, as the band’s ability to bridge ambiance and aggression re-

ally speaks to my sensibilities about what music as a whole is capable of. Being able to capture beauty, horror and the true definition of the sublime within one riff speaks volumes to the band’s talent. — Cooper Stapleton

Shop local this holiday season! Holiday gifts, stocking stuffers, socks, socks, and more socks! Find the perfect sentiment or quirky gift for the free spirit’s in your life.

Wishing you a very merry season

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�� Thursday, December 22, 2016 | 7

[Sartorial over-enthusiasm with Heather of Sideshow]

Style Fetish | Heather Narwid

Snowdown: Prepare your intergalactic self Snowdown 2017: Intergalactic will be upon us in less than two earth months. Will you be ready with a variety of fabulous costumes when the time come to peel back your human face and show your true form? It will be good timing and a welcome party to help us shake off this particular planet’s problems for a few days. This year’s theme is excellent as always – broad enough to support all the creativity your throbbing, exposed brain can muster but specific enough that ideas can be corralled and dominated like so many Tribbles. Whether your character will pronounce herself Queen of the Galaxy and take over the planet or be one among a swarming mass of identical aliens, we need to start thinking. The same considerations in choosing a Halloween or any other costume apply here: What do you want to feel like? Bizarre, funny, powerful, scary, sexy, creepy? Will you be a being of your own invention or an established character? Use the time before Snowdown to have fun researching and getting ideas. Watch some current and old sci-fi movies and TV shows; read some books. You may certainly cop bits and pieces from any spacey looks that “speak to you,” and if these ideas are in a mysterious alien tongue, or received as a telepathic vibrations, bonus points for authenticity! Inspiration for space, planets and other intergalactic-themed action can be found in film, TV and movies, particularly vintage ones. The ’50s and ’60s saw loads of aliens and strangers-taking-over in pop culture and film (the amazing 1993 book “The Monster Show,” by David J. Skal attributes this trend to the social and political fear of communism – extra scary because the intruders look just like us!)

If you go vintage Sometimes the costumes from vintage eras are simpler and easier to put together or make, as opposed to some of present-day Hollywood’s sculptural, complicated and impossible-to-buy-or-duplicate costumes. Also, vintage depictions of futuristic themes are incredibly charming and innocent. The fashions and styles of those gallivanting through the future cosmos 50 years ago have strong shoulders, no collars, lots of shimmery and metallic materials, wrist gauntlets and wrist-communicators, capes, belts and chest plates equipped with space tools and flashing buttons, among other things. Antennae were common even on humanoids, and no space traveler was complete without a robot or tiny furry alien sidekick. “The Jetsons” had great 1960s-space-style. I love Judy’s tubular, rolled dress hem and have copped this specific detail for my own costume. “Futurama” is a brilliant animated show with lots of “everyday” kind of intergalactic streetwear as well as excellent aliens and hairstyles. Sometimes intergalactic characters were so far into the future or into the cosmos, they have spun back to primitivism, like on “Planet of the Apes,” “The Time

Machine’s Morlocks” and “Eloi” or “Barbarella,” so keep some faux leopard fur to try along with the silver sequins.

Going as an established character Dressing as a specific or established character like a “Star Trek Enterprise” crew member, a Conehead, any of the “Dr Who’s,” or someone or thing from “Star Wars” – anything with a very exact look – the hard part will be procuring the exact items needed. This will most likely send you online where you can buy a licensed version of the costume (manufacturers have to pay a licensing fee to whomever owns the character. This is one reason why this type of costume can get very expensive, regardless of quality). This type of costume is great, most everyone will recognize your character and you can get all dramatic in your behavior and do some classic Trek-era Shatner over-enunciation, or some “Dr Who” quotes. Specific intergalactic-themed characters can be found in books and literature, as well. These will be less visually-specific with more room for creativity than something from a film but still a rich reference point from which to start. “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” series by Douglas Adams and H.G. Wells’ “The Time Machine” come to mind here as rich literary fodder for creative costuming. And speaking of H.G. Wells, your steampunk costumes or accessories from Snowdown 2015 can definitely be worked into Intergalactic Snowdown 2017, no? Goggles,

devices, guns and gauntlets are necessary in hyperspace. More retasking of previous Snowdown parts can include last year’s ’80s theme! The 1980s had so many style details that looked alien: the strong shoulder pads, gold and silver lamé and sequins, tight leggings and jumpsuits, new wave glasses and asymmetrical shirts can be intergalacticized for this year’s party. At Style Fetish, we usually support the DIY aesthetic. Look through your closet though the eyes of a fabulous creature from another dimension to see what parts and pieces you already have to build on. Use tin foil, bubble wrap, loose shoulder pads, gold or silver spray paint and glitter added to existing garments and accessories, metallic leather and vinyl. Hang onto old Christmas decorating materials like tinsel to use. We will return with more Style Fetish columns of ideas and inspirations for Intergalactic Snowdown. We will discuss interstellar hair and make-up, super-simple ways to get Intergalactic while preserving your dignity at your serious office job, and more. Email me at sideshowdolores@gmail.com with any ideas or comments you may have regarding this year’s Snowdown theme! Heather Narwid owns and operates Sideshow, a vintage and modern clothing store for men and women located in northeast Durango. She respectfully asks that NO-ONE dress as those revolting creatures from Avatar, UGH! Is she the only one who was super-grossed out by those things?

8 | Thursday, December 22, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Here’s what to expect in the world of beer in 2017

n predicting trends for this year, I think my friends and I hit the nail on the head: Big beer will continue to buy craft brewers, IPAs will continue to grow and change (according to the Brewer’s Association, IPA sales are up 33 percent this year), and sours, barrel aging, and alternative fermentation continue to grow. Little in 2016 was way out of left field that shocked or surprised the craft beer world. But even though we could see the changes in craft beer coming a mile away, there was a bit of a twist with each of them that wasn’t so apparent. There were a lot of Big Beer sellouts in 2016: Karbach, Terrapin, Hop Valley, Revolver, Devil’s Backbone, etc. But there were other big-money ownership changes that weren’t necessarily “sellouts.” This year

saw the rise of big venture capital. Oskar Blues, with backing from Fireman Capital, purchased Tampa Bay brewery Cigar City. Stone Brewing announced the creation of a venture capital fund, True Craft, which will have $100 million in funds available for growing craft beer brands to potentially tap into as an alternative to banks or Big Beer, though no breweries have been invested in yet. And most recently, Deep Ellum, a Dallas brewery, was purchased by Storied Craft Breweries, a capital fund started by the people behind Effen Vodka. The Deep Ellum deal is Storied Craft’s first purchase. This rise in venture capital was a huge huge part of 2016, and I can see it increasing in 2017, especially as a way for like-minded breweries to join forces without fully selling out. I used the acronym, “IPA” 60-plus times in 2016, easily my most referenced style of beer. Its popularity continues to grow, thanks in part to the fruit-plusIPA craze, but also the new obsession with haze and the New England-style IPA. New England or Vermont IPAs are a variation of the style that focuses on the juicy, fruit-forward flavors in hops. How popular this particular style of IPA has become is definitely

something I didn’t see coming. There are breweries that are fully dedicated to the style and lines down the block or groups of people waiting for delivery trucks of the most popular brews. I experienced the craze first hand on a recent trip to Vermont ,and the beer is crazy good (when it’s fresh), but I still don’t understand the hysteria, mostly because I know haze does not equal flavor (unless you want to taste yeast). The other big flavor coming out of the beer world is sours, and sours of all kinds. There have been divisions in craft beer world about kettle sours and traditional sours, but from a drinker’s perspective, it’s only good competition. I haven’t written about kettle sours, but they are a roughly two-day process, compared to traditional sours, which can take years. I’ve definitely seen and drank a lot of both of these beers in 2016, and I can’t complain. There are also a small group of breweries doing ONLY mixed or wild fermentations and I really hope I see more of that as well. Robert Alan Wendeborn is a former cellar operator at Ska Brewing and current lead cellar operator at Tin Roof Brewing in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

�� Thursday, December 22, 2016 | 9

[visual]

Obscure seasonal cinema »» A list of lesser-known holiday movies to watch this season If you hate “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “White Christmas,” you’re a monster. Disliking Jimmy Stewart, Bing Crosby, and Rosemary Clooney is a deformity of character. But fine. There is a whole wide world of tinsel-tastic flicks out there. It’s not like you have to stick to the classics after you take off your Rudolph onesie, slip into your eggnog bath, and turn on the TV. Get your ho ho ho going with these lesser-known Christmas movies.

“The Hogfather” Hogfather is missing. If there is no Hogfather, there is no fat man to deliver presents and grant wishes to children on Hogswatchnight. People need something to believe in, so Death steps in for Hogfather, red suit and all. Yes, the Death and no, he’s not good at granting wishes. He takes the kids too literal. Whatchya got is a just-over-three-hour adaptation of Terry Pratchett’s 20th “Discworld” novel. (OMG. Read this series! ... but not all at once.) If you’re not a Pratchett fan, you may find the effects overly cheesy and the panoply of characters confusing. Unless you’re high. Then you’ll probably dig the folksy, fairytale vibe.

“Joyeux Noël” During the Christmas Truce, war ceased and humanity settled in, if only for a day. “Joyeux Noël” is based on this true, WWI story. On the Western Front, a German soldier (and famous tenor) sings “Silent Night” to his countrymen. A bagpiper accompanies him from the Scottish front-line. A Christmas tree is gently waved, which leads Scottish, French, and

German officers to agree to a ceasefire through Christmas. This pleasantly sentimental drama is perfect for anyone who likes “Saving Private Ryan,” “A Very Long Engagement,” or a bit of history to mix with their hot buttered rum ’ n’ holiday movie night.

“Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” If you feel like shoving your hand in a mitten fulla elf shit, watch “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.” Santa and two Earth-children are kidnapped and brought to the Red Planet by Martians. Except one Martian dude disagrees with this plan and repeatedly tries to murder Old St. Nick and the kids. A battle over Santa ensues. This movie is terrible. It is visually humdrum. The story rambles. The only worthwhile ways to watch it involve drinking games or the “Mystery Science Theater 3000” episode that wisecracks over it.

“The Ref” In small-town Connecticut, what could go wrong? Everything. A heist on Christ-

mas Eve turns into taking a bickering, suckfest of a family hostage to evade police. You can absolutely cat burgle the wrong house. Denis Leary does in “The Ref.” Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis play the couple he takes hostage. They are in therapy. They hate each other. They bitch more than Trump sues people. Add in a blackmailing son, acerbic in-laws, and a dog named Cannibal and you got a damn fine black comedy for Christmas.

“Tokyo Godfathers” A middle-aged alcoholic, a runaway girl, and a former drag queen are all on hard times. There’s always someone worse off. While scrounging through garbage, they find a baby. In the spirit of Christmas Eve, the unlikely trio attempt to find the child a home. This endearing anime about

the creation of an unlikely family may be a cartoon but it isn’t for young kids. Satoshi Kon and Keiko Nobumoto (head scriptwriter for “Cowboy Bebop”) have created a deep, comedic drama. If you like shows like “This Is Us” or anime like “Spirited Away,” “Tokyo Godfathers” will trim yer tree just right.

“Scrooged” Frank Cross (played by Bill Murray) is a TV network executive. He’s also an a-hole. He’s the type of douchetroll that would staple antlers to a mouse. We are talking a modern day Scrooge. He is a foul human, a bad boss, a greedy, no good bastard. Of course he doesn’t care that it’s Christmas. Until, the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future give him a visit. If you know Continued on Page 11

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[visual]

From Page 10

the story of “A Christmas Carol,” you know how “Scrooged” goes ... just add in cameos like David Johansen (of the New York Dolls) and Robert Mitchum (“Night of the Hunter”).

“Rare Exports” On the day before Christmas Eve, the remains of a hundred reindeer are found. Gnawed apart, bones showing, a gory show in the snow. This may or may not have to do with a dumbass British research team who excavate a mysterious burial mound while drilling into a Finnish mountain. Rauno wants reparations for the reindeer. His young son comes with him to demand it. What they find isn’t money ... it’s pure evil. “Rare Exports” is hella rad holiday horror. Subtitles go quick when there’s a crooked, butchering Santa slaying over them.

“Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special” “Pee-wee’s Playhouse” was a 1980s Saturday morning show that appealed not only to kids but stoners due to an unusual amount of wonderfully awkward animatronics, puppetry, bright colors, and interactive moments. In Pee-wee’s holiday special, also called

“Christmas at Pee-wee’s Playhouse,” Pee-wee entertains guests while waiting for Christmas to come. Here’s why you care: Little Richard on ice skates, Grace Jones in a structured dress, Cher lookin’ like a badass ... Jesus H., Oprah even makes an appearance. Yeah, there is a moralizing moment where Pee-wee has to learn a lesson on selfishness, but overall this is the kinda movie a whole family can watch together and not have to worry about blood or dongs showing up.

her. It could also kill her, but she’s going to die anyway, so why not try? Her estranged children are gathered together to see if a holiday miracle can happen – even the son who got banished. How the hell do the French do it? Make a holiday movie that shifts from depressing med-

ical issues and family drama to seasonal merriment? There is wit and warmth here that makes this the perfect movie to watch while getting drunk with Ma on Christmas Eve. —— Patty Templeton DGO Staff writer

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“All is Bright” Dennis (Paul Giamatti) got out on parole and the only frikkin job he can find is selling Christmas trees with his misfit pal Rene (Paul Rudd ... a GD dreamboat.) All Dennis wants is to buy his daughter a piano for Christmas and if slinging trees will make that happen, he’s gonna suffer through everyone’s bell-ringing, gingerbread BS. It doesn’t make any of it easier that Rene is now banging his wife. If you want your slice of Christmas ham with a side of sardonic drama, “All is Bright” should get shoved on the plate.

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[community]

The good energy of the Smiley Building »» Its

tenants include artists, businesses and nonprofits. But what exactly goes on in this eco-friendly building?

Stor y by Patty Templeton | DGO STAFF WRITER

Photos by Shaun Stanley | BCI MEDIA

ay up on a government hill, there stands a small-handed, orange President-elect who believes that climate change isn’t real. There are a contingent of people who agree with him. Incredibly, climate change is still a controversial topic. Even more contentious of a debate is how to regulate businesses into becoming more Earth-friendly. For some reason, being eco-friendly appears to many as anti-business. The Smiley Building is a prime example of how being environmentally friendly doesn’t haven’t to butt heads with having a thriving business culture. It is a mixed-use building that provides a template for how to incorporate renewable energy and conservation techniques into a capitalist setting. It also demonstrates how having a diverse collection of business increases the overall vitality of not only the structure but the town it’s housed in. Gather ye round and let’s get deep on how the Smiley Building came to be and what actually goes on inside it. Continued on Page 14

»» The south side entrance to the Smiley Building.

»» People congregate in the café of the Smiley Building, some working, some eating and some in conversation with friends.

12 | Thursday, December 22, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

�� Thursday, December 22, 2016 | 13

[community] energy. I’m trying to make a model of what I hope we can be.”

But what actually goes on in there now?

»» An ocean-themed painting on an interior wall of Smiley Building as people work on their laptops in the cafe area. From Page 13

Isn’t the Smiley Building that old school? In 1936, the Smiley Building was built. To set the scene, F.D.R. was president. Dorthea Lange took her famous “Migrant Mother” photo depicting the struggle of the working poor. The Great Depression was seven years into a 10-year stretch. Somehow, the Smiley Building was built. Actually, not somehow. Good ol’ Roosevelt’s New Deal had created the Public Works Administration. The PWA granted the school an $86,198 grant to help complete architect Charles Thomas’ plans. A junior high school was born and named after a former superintendent, Emory E. Smiley, a man alleged to know all 1,600 names of the kids in his school district.

Who the heck buys an abandoned junior high? After about 60 years, the Smiley Building was left fallow. Even though the building was sturdy enough to outlast a zombie apocalypse, it was an energy hog and there was a new middle school in town. Nobody wanted to deal with the massive demolition or renovation process. Until 1997, when brothers Charles and John Shaw, along with Lisa Bodwalk, bought the behemoth. Seriously, the place is big ... 45,000 square feet big. You can fit about 18 average American-sized houses (2,500 square feet) inside the Smiley Building. That’s a helluva big space to up and decide to renovate.

Charles Shaw, a part owner and jack-of-alltrades, said, “Just to put it in perspective, at the time, it cost the same as a house. I looked at it in the sense of, wow, it is an overwhelming project but not an overwhelming cost. And this is what I do. I’m a plumber and an electrician and builder. So we do everything in house, me and my crew. We do all the work. We have a shop in the basement. We make most of the furniture and tables. We built the entire café.” The crew is three people big. The renovation is reaching its second decade. “Most people don’t know the Smiley Building is not done. It’s a work in progress, and we are not even close to done. We are always transforming space.”

Renovation-shenomation, so what? So what? The Smiley Building is a perfect example of preservation meets up-cycled architecture. The lighting is LED. Motion sensors alert lighting and ventilation. Water conservation techniques are in use. There are high-efficiency wood and natural-gas-fired boilers. Twenty-thousand square feet of roof had to be redone and solar panels now cover it. The energy bill went from about $5,000 a month to zero. Yes, zero. In fact, the Smiley Building is now pumping money back into the grid. The Smiley Building is a success. Since opening to tenants, the Smiley has been full with a waitlist to get into studio space there. According to Shaw, “What’s exciting to me is that people can think it’s a community building and it has that feel, but it is also a legitimate business that uses almost no

The Smiley Building has become a mixed-use space. It’s residential, commercial, institutional, and slightly industrial. “I wouldn’t call it an art colony. I try to push the limits of the mixed use. That’s way more interesting to me,” said Shaw. “I try to have a little of everything that I like here. There’s dance, yoga, artists, builders, nonprofits, architects, designers, and a lot of environmental organizations. That is a big part of what I’m interested in. Taking care of the planet. But also, I can genuinely say I really like every tenant. And there’s around 50 tenants.” The Smiley Building is completely open to the public. Folks can walk right in, and when they do, they’re greeted by The Smiley Café, owned by Carrie Hladik and Franci Stagi. Serving everything from soup to sandwiches to vegetarian fare and gluten-free baked goods, the Smiley Café provides a warm welcome when you first walk into the large, somewhat intimidating building. The Smiley Café is a coffee shop with a handmade menu. Brick walls give texture. High ceilings bring spaciousness. Plenty of work tables and comfortable couches invite people to stay for longer than one cup of coffee. Hladik said, “If you’re sensitive to it at all, the energy is amazing.” Once people enter the Smiley Building, they tend to love it. “It is a unique experience. Not just what Charles does to the building, but the people that it draws. Everybody from college kids just trying to study who feel good in here to moms who want to expose their kids to different activities and lifestyles. It’s hard to put in words, but it is a unique experience ... I feel like community is a really good word for this place.” From tai chi and channeling sessions to animation studios and bakers, the Smiley Building has brought a wide range of art, business, and nonprofits together. “Everybody’s doing their thing to enjoy the space and the beauty of the space,” said artist Becca Conrad-Whitehead, who has studio space on the second floor. “They embrace its history and look forward to its future.” Every once in a while, Conrad-Whitehead comes across someone new to the current incarnation of the Smiley Building. “I’ve had people who come to the studio who are like, ‘I took calculus there. [Or,] that was my old biology [classroom] ... and that was the old gym.’” There are dance classes for disabled adults and Continued on Page 15

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[community] From Page 14

children next to a solar company next to ukulele jam circles. While there is no central directory online that is up to date, there are directories posted at the building’s entrance. And, OMG, the fliers. There is a bigass promotion wall that showcases not only what’s happening in-building, but also around town. Want to know what’s happening in Durango? Check out the Smiley Building’s flier wall. Walk straight in the front door, past the café, past the fish mural, and there will be an entire wall to your right covered in upcoming events.

What about the future?

»» A woman reads notices posted on a community board within the Smiley Building.

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The current political climate has a lot of folks (appropriately) downand-out. But. As author, activist, and broadcaster Studs Terkel would’ve said, were he still around, “Hope dies last.” That seems to be the general vibe at the Smiley Building, too. When confronted with the idea that mixed-use buildings that incor-

porate high-density, pedestrian-friendly living, retail, and office space aren’t exactly the norm, Hladik said, “I think that people who have the vision that came with this building are going to do great things, no matter what. I am trying to have awesome faith in humanity.” Durango is seeing the direct effects of rental costs for both housing and commercial use increasing. One has to wonder how much more affordable housing and business could become if more mixed-use buildings were created within town limits. Could our already bustling small-business culture strengthen if more spaces like the Smiley Building became available? Could some of our atrocious housing costs be soothed if residential mixed-use buildings started to appear? Who has the funding for these projects, and is it something that the city should directly be a sponsor of ? The Smiley Building starts an excellent conversation about where an eco-friendly Durango with neighborhood character could go. Are people even interested in sustainability? Can a green future continue in our current political climate? Shaw has a bright vision of the future. “I don’t worry about politics. My hope is that this is a wake-up call. No one is going to do this for us. To me, it lights a fire under us to create the world we want here, not to wait for anyone to do it for us. It makes me want to do more environmental actions and work for the things I believe in.”

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er brother Joe (Kyle Chandler), Lee Chandler (Casey Affleck) is shocked to learn that Joe has made him sole guardian of his nephew Patrick (Lucas Hedges). Taking leave of his job, Lee reluctantly returns to Manchester-by-the-Sea to care for Patrick, a spirited 16-year-old, and is forced to deal with a past that separated him from his wife, Randi (Michelle Williams), and the community where he was born and raised. Bonded by the man who held their family together, Lee and Patrick struggle to adjust to a world without him.

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presides over a once-grand theater that has fallen on hard times. An eternal optimist, and a bit of a scoundrel, he loves his theater above all and will do anything to preserve it. Facing the crumbling of his life’s ambition, he takes one final chance to restore his fading jewel to its former glory by producing the world’s greatest singing competition. Five contestants emerge: a mouse, a timid elephant, a pig, a gorilla and a punk-rock porcupine.

(Bryan Cranston), an overprotective but loving dad, and his family visit his daughter at Stanford, where he meets his biggest nightmare: her well-meaning but socially awkward Silicon Valley billionaire boyfriend, Laird (James Franco). The straight-laced Ned thinks Laird, who has absolutely no filter, is a wildly inappropriate match for his daughter. The one-sided rivalry – and Ned’s panic level – escalate when he finds himself increasingly out of step in the glamorous high-tech hub, and learns that Laird is about to pop the question.

16 | Thursday, December 22, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

Jesus: Galilean, Son of Man, and ... cannabis user?

hall we take some time this week to discuss the real reason for the season – the winter solstice? OK, the Return of the Light here in the Northern Hemisphere may be a bit conceptually remote to fit within the framework of modern American life, so perhaps we should jump through human history to the layer of Christianity that has been superimposed over the older pagan sun worship festival. Let’s talk about Jesus – the guy who said that “the Kingdom of God is within” each of us. »» Hometown: Nazareth, Galilee (now the largest city and capital of the Northern District of Israel, where some of the best cannabis research on the planet »» Get high on Jesus takes on a new meaning is currently happening) »» Not born in December. »» Not pronounced “Hay Kaneh Bosm (the letter m at the end indicates Zeus.” the plural); kaneh bos = cannabis (how’s that for »» Son of Mary (a Great Mother archetype reborn a homophone?), the ancient Hebrew anointing oil from the old religions to dovetail with the culture from the Old Testament days of Moses through the built around a Middle Eastern sun god called “I Am time of Saul and David. It’s a mixture within which, Who I Am” who had risen to great prominence). according to ancient recipes, 2 gallons of olive oil »» Historical name Yeshua, a child born of the would include more than 10 pounds of the fragrant lineage of the Hebrew King David through the foreflowering tops of the cannabis plant along with a fathers of Joseph, his father. variety of other aromatic herbs and spices includ»» Middle name not beginning with the letter ing frankincense, myrrh (sound familiar?), and H. I don’t know where he picked up “Harold” as a possible middle name, but I am willing to wager my cinnamon. Those chosen as anointed ones (which favorite earthly possession, my wood stove, that it translated from the Hebrew for “messiah” to the was not, in fact, the additional moniker his mother Greek “christos”) would be literally drenched in this added when she was angry with him. In that same oil, as Jesus was believed by some to be by John the vein, I am here to report that “Christ” was, you Baptist, an undertaking that is noted in Biblical acguessed it, not his surname, but rather a title and it counts to create an intense psychological experience is in this title that we draw our cannabis connection. likened to a “descending of the spirit” upon the likes

of Jesus and Saul, each of whom lit out to the desert to be alone for an extended period following their kaneh bos experiences. Much of the information regarding the anointing of Jesus with this cannabis oil is derived from the Gnostic tradition, an early Christian sect (whose Gospel of Thomas holds a place among the oldest surviving Christian texts) with some opinions regarding the historical role of Jesus that diverge from what has come to be considered mainstream Christianity, the tradition that derives from the Roman Catholic Church and the splintering which occurred as a result of the Reformation; they believed that baptism by water was an essentially empty act Illustration by Alexi Grojean and preferred anointing as their method of initiation. Part of Jesus’ running afoul of the Hebrew power structure of his day could have been his decision to not only undertake this initiation (part of older, banned traditions) but to then use the oil to heal, treating conditions like epilepsy, seen then as demonic possession, and skin diseases (stop me when this sounds familiar). As we celebrate this Season of the Return of the Light, let’s consider the idea that Yeshua, the Anointed of Nazareth was one of us, a man who learned by way of the entheogenic properties of cannabis and, in that blissful connected state that we gain by the grace of Merry Jane, reach out and touch the Kingdom Within. Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

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18 | Thursday, December 22, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[Vintage Durango]

Back in the (bowling) days

247235

This season, give the best! »» Basin Bowl advertisement in the Dec. 22, 1966 issue of The Durango Herald.

There was once a time when bowling was right up Durango’s alley, when folks around town always had time to spare. Now, all we have left of Basin Bowl is this ad and some old-timers’ debauched memories of boozin’ and ballin’. Maybe, hopefully, please, Dear Gutter–n-Pin Gods, can we have a bowling alley again? Especially one where Santa’s palming our balls? —— Patty Templeton

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facebook.com/durangoorganics 248516

�� Thursday, December 22, 2016 | 19

[love and sex]

Savage Love | Dan Savage

Hmmm... who’s the crazy, paranoid, controlling one here? I’m having an issue with my boyfriend, and I don’t know if I am the crazy, paranoid, controlling party here. We have been together for more than a year and a half. We had troubles early on because he has a low sex drive. It made me very insecure, and I think that’s why, at the time, I became extremely jealous of his friendship with his very attractive intern. I fully owned up to my irrational jealousy and decided on my own that it was my responsibility to overcome that. She eventually stopped working with him, and they haven’t been in contact for over sex months. Fast-forward to the present. On Monday night, I asked my boyfriend what his plans were on Tuesday. (I am studying for law school exams, so I knew I wouldn’t have time to spend with him.) Around 8:30 on Tuesday, he texted me and asked how studying was going, and I asked him again what his plans were. He told me he was going to meet an “old co-worker” at a bar for birthday drinks. I didn’t think twice about it. Then, around 11:30 when I got in bed to relax, I saw on my Instagram feed that his old intern posted a photo of her birthday party at the bar. I became extremely upset, because instead of being up front and saying he was meeting HER for her birthday, he was intentionally ambiguous. I confronted him when he got home, and he admitted to being ambiguous to avoid a “freak-out.” I told him that if he’d been up front with me, I would have been jealous but I would have also been mindful of my toxic feelings and not projected them onto him. I told him that as a result of how he handled it, I feel worse, I feel lied to, and I feel insecure. He acted like I was being ridiculous. He insisted it was a last-minute invite and he didn’t want to cause any drama. We went to sleep, and I woke up feeling pretty much over it. But when he got into the shower, I looked at his phone and saw that she had actually invited him

on Monday afternoon. So he lied to me when I asked him what his plans were on Tuesday, and he lied to me again when he said it was a last-minute invite. I am not upset with him for getting drinks with her – most of his friends are female and I NEVER feel jealous about them. I have a weird tic about this girl, though, and I’ve owned up to it. I don’t want to control him, but I feel like I can’t trust him now. Up until now, I’ve never once suspected him of being dishonest. Am I Crazy? Sex months? Interesting typo. There’s another way to read your boyfriend’s ambiguity/obfuscation/ dishonesty about Tuesday night: equal parts considerate and self-serving. Your boyfriend knew you had to study, he knew his ex-intern is a sore subject/weird tic, and by opting for ambiguity he allowed you to focus on your studies. So that was maybekindasorta considerate of him. And because one person’s “mindful of my toxic feelings” and “handling it” is another person’s “freak-out” and “invasion of privacy,” AIC, your boyfriend opted for ambiguousness/ deceit-by-omission to avoid drama. And perhaps that was self-serving of him. Want to prove to your boyfriend that he didn’t need to lie to you about spending time with his ex-intern? Retroactively bestow your blessing on Tuesday night’s birthday drinks and stop raking him over the [bleeping] coals for his thoroughly explicable actions. (They’re so explicable, I just explicked the shit out of them.) Yes, he lied to you. But unless you’re made of marshmallow fluff and unicorn farts, AIC, you’ve lied to him once or twice over the last year and a half. Even the “most honest” people on Earth tell the odd harmless, self-serving white lie once in a while. If you want your relationship to last, AIC, you roll your eyes at the

odd HSSW lie and move on. If you want your relationship to end, you do exactly what you’re doing. If your boyfriend hasn’t given you some other reason(s) to believe he’s cheating with his ex-intern or anyone else, AIC, drop the Tuesday night/ birthday drinks subject. I would also advise you to apologize to your boyfriend for having “looked at his phone” while he was in the shower, which is both an asshole move and, yes, a sign that you might be the crazy, paranoid, and controlling one in this relationship. And for the sake of your relationship – for the sake of [bleep] – stop following the ex-intern on Instagram. Finally, AIC, you mention mismatched sex drives. As several commenters pointed out on my blog, where your letter appeared as the Savage Love Letter of the Day, mismatched sex drives are usually a bad sign. You talk about the libido issue in the past tense, so perhaps it’s not a problem anymore. But if the problem was resolved in a way that left you feeling neglected, insecure, and frustrated, it wasn’t resolved and it constitutes a much bigger threat to your relationship than that ex-intern. I’m a 35-year-old man in a serious relationship – the best I’ve ever been in – with a girl I’ll likely marry. I’m happy with monogamy, aside from one aspect: I have a foot fetish that’s getting stronger with age, and I can’t bear the thought of never sucking another girl’s toes again. I should note that my girlfriend is more than happy to shove her feet in my mouth, but I fantasize almost constantly about other women’s feet. I’m tempted to find paid footgirls, something I’ve done in the past but never while in a relationship. But that would be cheating, right? I don’t think I can bring myself to ask for my girlfriend’s blessing, and I’d be shocked if she offered it. What do I do?

Fear Of Missing Out On Feet You bring yourself to ask, FOMOOF, even if you have to drag your ass there. If your girlfriend is sex-positive – if she’s not just shoving her feet in your mouth to shut you up – initiate conversations about your kinks (and hers), your sexual history (and hers), and sexual adventures you might want to have with her in the future (and ones she might want to have with you). If she’s curious and interested and upbeat during these convos and about your kinks, suggest going to a foot fetish party together – one where you can suck other women’s toes and other men can suck hers. I’m a man who is sexually attracted to trans women. I’ve been told that if I’m attracted to women, it shouldn’t matter what genitals they have. I’ve also been told that if I like penis, it shouldn’t matter if the owner presents as male or female. Am I unfairly fetishizing trans women? Gain Understanding Into Loving Trans You’re attracted to women, GUILT, some women have penises, and you find penis-having women particularly attractive. If you’re not attracted to men with penises and you’re not attracted to men like Buck Angel, i.e., trans men with vaginas, then you’re not attracted to men generally, [rooster] or no [rooster]. So long as you can state your preferences in a way that doesn’t dehumanize the people you are attracted to or denigrate the people you aren’t attracted to, GUILT, you have nothing to feel self-conscious or guilty about. Dan Savage is a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist writing for The Stranger in Seattle. Contact him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter and listen to his podcast every week at savagelovecast.com.

20 | Thursday, December 22, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening] Think you have snow sculpture-making skills?

The Cannondolls will help ring in Christmas Eve

In this world, there are lots of things you can carve things out of: SPAM, butter, ice, turkey, snow. And while we haven’t gotten a whole lot of snow down in these parts, from Monday to Dec. 29, check out snow sculptures in the Plaza at Purgatory. Watch as local artists create their masterpieces out of blocks of snow right before your eyes. You can even chat with the artists while they work. For more information, or if you’re an artist who wants to give it a try, email Purg’s events manager at mkrichman@purgatoryresort.com.

Hopefully, by the time Saturday afternoon rolls around, you’ll be all finished with your gift buying and the pain in the ass of wrapping all the loot. You’ve done a good job, and you deserve to have a little fun before you’re stuck smooshed on a loveseat between a snoozing Uncle Blahde-blah and Aunt Eunice, whose lipstick-smeared mouth reeks of Benson & Hedges and rum. Let local favorites The Cannondolls help you kick off your holidays right. They’ll be playing from 2:30 to 5:30 p.m. Saturday at Purgy’s, #1 Skier Place at Puragtory. The Cannondolls feature beautiful alt-country melodies and deeply honest lyrics, with influences from Hank Williams, Woody Guthrie, and Patsy Cline to Jason Isbell and Shovels & Rope.

Thursday Alcohol tastings at Mac’s Liquor,

3-6:30 p.m., Mac’s Liquor Store, 3124 Main Ave., 247-0939. Karaoke with DJ Crazy Charlie, 9 p.m.,

Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 3752568. Karaoke, 9 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Friday Alcohol tastings at Mac’s Liquor,

3-6:30 p.m., Mac’s Liquor Store, 3124 Main Ave., 247-0939. Andy Janowsky, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond

U.S. Highway 160 West, 375-9700, www. healthyhoundsandfatcats.com.

Sunday Henry Stoy piano, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-

Ave., 403-1200, www.thebean.com.

pub.com.

Missy and the Bluetones, 7-10 p.m.,

Two-step lessons, 6:30-7:30 p.m., $10, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 7998832.

Moe’s Starlite Lounge, 937 Main Ave., 2599018.

Tuesday

Irish music jam session, 12:30 p.m.,

Snow sculptures, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Purgatory

Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200, www.theirishembassypub.com.

Mountain Resort, 1 Skier Pl, www.purgatoryresort.com.

Jazz church experienced musician session, 6 p.m., Derailed Pour House, 725

Acoustic jam, 6-8 p.m., Strater Hotel, 699

8 p.m., Moe’s Starlite Lounge, 937 Main Ave., 259-9018.

Main Ave., 247-4431.

Main Ave., 247-5440, www.derailedpourhouse. com.

Karaoke with DJ Crazy Charlie, 9 p.m.,

Open Mic, 8 p.m., Moe’s Starlite Lounge, 937

Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 3752568.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

Super Ted’s Super Trivia, 6:12 p.m., Ska Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., 247-5792, www.facebook.com/supertedstriviaatskabrewing.

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Main Ave., 259-9018.

Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 725 Main Ave., 247-5440.

Monday

Open Mic, 7-11 p.m., Steaming Bean, down-

91.9/93.9 FM, www.kdur.org.

Wednesday

Snow sculptures, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Purgatory

Acoustic jam, 6-8 p.m., Irish Embassy Pub,

Mountain Resort, 1 Skier Pl, www.purgatoryresort.com.

900 Main Ave., 403-1200, www.theirishembassypub.com.

Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30-6:30 p.m., Ska

Geeks Who Drink trivia, 6:30 p.m.,

Saturday

Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., www.skabrewing. com.

BREW Pub & Kitchen, 117 W. College Drive, 259-5959.

Custom ornament fundraiser, all-day

Spoken Word, 7-9 p.m., Steaming Bean,

event, Healthy Hounds and Fat Cats, 21738

downstairs at the Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main

Pub quiz, 6:30 p.m., Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200, www.theirishembassy-

stairs at the Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200, www.thebean.com. Karaoke, 8 p.m., 8th Avenue Tavern, 509

East Eighth Ave., 259-8801.

Useless Knowledge Trivia Bowl, 7

Pierre Bakery, 601 Main Ave., 385-0122.

Four Corners Arts Forum, 9 a.m., KDUR

p.m., Durango Brewing Co., 3000 Main Ave., 247-3396. Pingpong and poker tournament,

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www.dgomag.com, visit www.swscene.com, click “Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form, and submit. Listings at www. swscene.com will appear on www. dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www. swscene.com is free and takes one day to process.

�� Thursday, December 22, 2016 | 21

[activism]

FLC students protest Trump We asked four Fort Lewis College students about their participation in Donald Trump protests around Durango last month. Here’s what they had to say about why they’re angry, what might change under the new administration and what young people can do to help. Why are you protesting the president-elect? The billionaires and governments have made so many people feel silenced. When we protest, we make noise and draw attention to our causes ... something that is louder than our votes. When we protest, we are noticed, and we give our cause a voice. Sarah Adams, junior and sociology major at FLC As a female, I honestly feel scared and worried about our future, knowing that someone who was accused of sexual assault can be voted president. Mara Dan-Weber, sophomore and psychology/gender & women’s studies major at FLC

differences are ostracized or condemned. None of us should. Amaya McKenna, FLC sophomore and environmental studies/philosophy major

What do you think will change under Trump’s new administration? Since I was a child, I’ve had a fear of the planet’s destruction. I’ve always wanted to resist this and believe it was my own paranoia, but Trump’s presidency makes this fear very real. Children have seen that a man can be a criminal, sexually harassing and humiliating women, and still be the president. It’s hard to know what will happen, but I am scared. Sarah Adams I sadly think there will be a lot of negative change. I’m really worried about our environment, and our human rights. The only positive I can see is this election will bring a new revolution. I think a lot of people aren’t happy with this choice, and how the Electoral College and DNC impacted the election. Mara Dan-Weber

I am protesting Donald Trump not because I think it will get him out of office, but because he and his administration need to know that we will not take this loss sitting down. We will not sit back for the next four years and let the country lose the progress it made during the Obama administration. We will stand up for what we believe in throughout his presidency and be a wall Trump must get through if he plans on doing anything that is dangerous for the people or the planet. Katrina Rachwitz, junior and environmental studies major at FLC The election of Trump has exposed America’s tolerance or blatant acceptance of racial, gender and religious supremacy. America has always struggled with equality, from the continued mistreatment of Native Americans (such as the conflict in Standing Rock), to the enslavement of Africans, to racial police brutality. The colonial attitude has been adopted by our nation and has reinforced the upbringing of an elite race or economic class. I am protesting because I have friends who are concerned for their personal safety due to their race, religion or sexual orientation. No one should be fearful to be who they are. I am not going to idly sit by as people’s

There are many things that are in danger, from human equality to environmental health. Trump is a supporter of the Dakota Access Pipeline and the country has been uniting to protect the land, water and people. I believe this is a wake-up call for the country, that we can no longer be passive. We must stand up and fight. Katrina Rachwitz Trump’s administration is not only a threat to those of us who are unlike him, but also to the environment and to the stability of the world. Our new president believes that climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese, which is a cause for concern amongst environmentalists and logical thinkers alike. My fellow peers who are in the environmental studies field are worried about future employment opportunities and the state of the world’s climate with Trump’s plan to increase extraction and usage of fossil fuels. The continued reliance on fossil fuels will lead to more standoffs like the one we see in the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation. Amaya McKenna

What can young people do to oppose harmful changes that might be enacted in our country over the next four years? Young people are always the voice of the revolution ... but in this circumstance, things are different. We are going to initiate a new era – a new age – but it can only be done with resilient action and compassion. We will lead the revolution with love in order to create the New Earth. Things always get worse before they get better. Sarah Adams As young people, we have to stand up for things that we don’t agree with. If we don’t take action, nothing will change. Humanity needs us to rise up more than ever, and the Earth needs us to protect her more than ever. Contentment does not yield results, only unwilling complacency. United, we are a powerful force that can demand action and spur a revolution. Let’s dedicate the next four years to peaceful resistance and united collective efforts. We, like the following generations, are the ones that will be directly impacted by changes made during Trump’s presidency. We have a responsibility to keep the fight for social justice, racial equality, gender parity and environmental protection alive – not only for ourselves, but for our children. Amaya McKenna Interviews by DGO Staff Writer Anya Jaremko-Greenwold.

22 | Thursday, December 22, 2016 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) This is a wonderful week to enjoy the company of others, especially partners and close friends. You also will enjoy dealing with members of the general public. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Work-related travel is likely this week. Fortunately, you feel upbeat and happy, especially relating to co-workers and customers. People will be honest and candid with you this week. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) This is a fun-loving week! You will enjoy social outings, sports events and playful activities with children. Seek out opportunities to express your creative talents. CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

Family conversations will go well this

week, especially with female relatives, moms and aunts. Explore real-estate opportunities; however, wait until next week to act with purpose. LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) This week, you feel quite content with your world. This is why you will enjoy chatting with siblings, neighbors and relatives. It feels good to be upbeat and optimistic. VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) This is an excellent week for business and commerce. Work-related travel also is likely. Nevertheless, postpone important financial decisions until next week. LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) This week, it’s easy to feel sympathetic and generous to others. In part, this is because you feel fortunate, but you also have a concern for the welfare of

those who are less fortunate. SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) You feel content this week, which is why you are happy to work behind the scenes. Your busy pace lately has been a bit exhausting, and you know it! SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) A conversation with a friend or a member of a group might encourage you to be more ambitious about your future goals. Consider these this week; however, wait until next week to finalize anything. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) People notice you this week. They might even learn information about you. Just be aware of this in case you want to guard your privacy. Be aware of your reputation. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

Do something different this week because you are upbeat and eager to explore new situations. In particular, you want to learn something new that interests you. Travel if you can. PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) In many ways, you will benefit from others this week. Someone might do you a favor or make a promise. Wait until next week to find out if this promise will ring true. BORN THIS WEEK You approach your goals with determination. You are hardworking and ambitious. You see the big picture. As this year winds down, start to get ready for 2017, which will be one of the most powerful years of your life – a time of accumulation. Whatever you have done in the past will now ripen. (2017 also is a good year to buy and sell.) © 2016 King Features Syndicate Inc.

weekly bestsellers Dec. 11-17 »»1. Santa is Coming to Durango, by Robert Dunn (Hardcover) »»2. H is for Hawk, by Helen Macdonald (Paperback) »»3. The Little Paris Bookshop, by Nina George (Paperback) »»4. Maker Lab: 28 Super Cool Projects, by Jack Challoner (Hardcover) »»5. This is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession, by Daniel J Levitin (Paper-

back) »»6. The Soul of an Octopus, by Sy Montgomery (Paperback) »»7. Double Down (Diary of a Wimpy Kid #11), by Jeff Kinney (Hardcover) »»8. Judgmental Maps: Your City. Judged., by Trent Gillaspie (Hardcover) »»9. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory, by Caitlin Doughty (Paper-

back) »»10. A Man Called Ove, by Fredrik Backman (Paperback) �� Thursday, December 22, 2016 | 23