All About Fun by Ballantine Communications

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, May 11, 2017

ALL ABOUT FUN Tim Kapustka’s show at Studio & sends us on an investigation of good times.

dgomag.com

DGO

FREE!

»» A shamanic

practitioner, on why you’re not having fun

»» The history

of fun in America

»» Ideas for

creative themed parties

Also: Making peace with my plate, blues guitarist Levi Platero, three strains you should grow, and getting to know hemp

SUN 5/14

MOTHERS DAY!

30 OFF %

IN THE FLOW CANNABIS STRAINS

SAT AND SUN ONLY- BOUTIQUE CANNABIS AT HIGH % THC POTENCY

ALL CHOCOLATES

Starting at $69 for our Medical Members Not a Member, Call us today! 970-375-BUDS

RECREATIONAL 21+ SUN to WED 9am-9pm THUR to SAT 9am-9:45pm

MEDICAL 18+ SUN to SAT 10am-6:30pm

E 2nd Ave Steamworks Brewing Company

HANDICAP ACCESSIBLE Alley

E 7th St

-OZ- SPECIALS!

SATURDAY & SUN ONLY

E 8th St

20 OFF %

Grassburger

Durango Coffee Co

Main Ave Strater Hotel

The finest selection of true vintage clothing & accessories in Colorado!

1021 1/2 Main Ave Durango, Co 80301

(970) 247-1290 258050

258696

DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 2 Number 29

May 11, 2017

Chief Executive Officer

8 My exploration of rosè became quite the tasting tour

Douglas Bennett V.P. of Finance and Operations

Rosè is not just a shallow beverage for summer sipping, but a wine with history, technique, process, and complexity, that can make it worth diving into as an intellectual pursuit.

Bob Ganley V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis Founding Editors Amy Maestas

From the Editor

Love it or Hate it

Sound

Downtown Lowdown

Vintage Durango

Beer

David Holub Editor/ creative director

16 Get growing and start with these strains

David Holub dholub@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer Patty Templeton ptempleton@bcimedia.com Contributors

Artwork by Tim Kapustka

Katie Cahill Katie Clancy Christopher Gallagher Alexi Grojean Meggie J

How an eating disorder helped me make peace with my plate “My relationship to food ... is only slightly more complicated than a dysfunctional love affair. Like a love affair at work. With your boss’ boss. Who is married to your accountant. And you’re being audited.”

Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch Cooper Stapleton Cyle Talley Robert Alan Wendeborn Advertising 247-3504

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

16 Weed

Seeing Through 16 the Smoke

Review

Elevated Discourse

Blues guitarist come to FLC Concert Hall Listening to Levi Platero, you’ll hear lots of influences, but it’s Stevie Ray Vaughan that is the major catalyst.

Tell us what you think!

16 17

18 Savage Love 19 Happening 20 DGO Deals

17 Hemp 101 “I recently sat down with my friend and local hemp advocate Sharon King to talk a little about the differences between hemp and marijuana.”

22 Horoscope/ puzzles 22 Pages 23 First Person

/dgomag

Reader Services 375-4570

I would recommend them these three strains to anyone looking for unfickle cultivars that deliver a lovely product at the season’s end.

Album Reviews 6-7

/dgomag @dgo_mag

ON THE COVER A button to accompany Tim Kapustka’s solo show at Studio &. Yes, it’s telling you what to do. David Holub/DGO

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

�� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 3

@dg

[CTRL-A]

[ love it or hate it ]

David Holub |DGO editor

Indulging, living, Gallagher: Fun is living in the present

hen you’re on a roller-coaster and it’s going click-click-clickclick up that first hill, you’re not thinking about bills. And when the train rushes down the mountain and you take the first unexpected turn and then up into the loop, you’re not thinking about your driver’s license that is about to expire and, man, what a drag it will be to have to go to the DMV. You’re thinking, “AHHHHGGGHHHHH!” Because you’re in the moment. A roller-coaster forces you there. Roller-coasters are fun. Being in the moment doesn’t in itself make something fun. But most of the time you’re having fun, you’re in the moment. You are present. The present, by definition, is not the past or the future. It is now, and now, and now. The past and future do not exist, except in our heads. The present, however, we can touch. It’s like touching a sledgehammer forcefully to a melon, a zany act made famous by Gallagher, possibly the funnest comedian there ever was. When anyone, on stage or not, smashes a melon placed on a stool with a giant hammer, tell me how you could possibly look away. Gallagher would ride out on stage in a huge, custom, adult Big Wheel, for no other reason than fun. Speaking of clowns, clowns are fun (even if you’re terrified by them because they’re really a sinister sub-species). They’re fun, in part, because they change the space around them; whatever they’re up to they make you watch right now. Clown or not, when someone shakes your hand with a buzzer in theirs, or when someone makes you smell a flower on their lapel and it squirts you in the face, you’ve been forced into the moment. If you’ve ever gotten lost on a dance floor – not, “where’s the fire exit?” – but really lost, lost in your head, lost to the thump on the floors and walls, engulfed in lasers and electronics, forgetting for a moment everything, shedding your ego

and self-consciousness, past and future – you’re having fun. Fun is living and doing, throwing caution out the window of your Chili Red Mini Cooper S as you take country-road turns a bit too fast. Snowboarding, whitewater, walking on stilts, rappelling on ropes are fun. Bouncing seems to be fun: Pogo sticks, bouncy castles, trampolines, laps (bouncing checks, not so fun). Indulging is fun: Eating, drinking, watching, playing. Indulging isn’t about enjoying the pleasure of something, it’s about allowing yourself to enjoy the pleasure. Yes, sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to have fun. For as much as pop culture and mass marketing encourage fun – at least a certain kind of fun – they have their counterparts right there discouraging it, making us feel bad for having it, warning of dire consequences for partaking in it. I heard it from a high school psychology teacher first: Fretting over what you should do or must do leads to unhappiness. He called it “musterbating” and “shoulding all over yourself.” That guy seemed fun. The most fun people I know are positive, adventurous, curious, inquisitive, and open-minded. They are willing and up for it, they are ready to go, to get it on. They say, “Yes, and.” They say funny things – who doesn’t – but they also make jokes (that is, statements intended to make another person laugh). Rarely do they say, “We really shouldn’t.” They usually say, “Yaaaaaaassssssss!!!!!!” The funnest people I know do what they love whenever they can. But more than that, they see life as an opportunity to have fun at all times. I mean, why walk your grocery cart to the car when you can take a free ride on it? Why walk past an off-duty, two-story carnival slide ho-hum when you could hop one fence, climb the stairs and slide down it while filming yourself ? If you can’t look at your partner without fiery passion, why not sneak off in public to canoodle in the shadows? And if you’ve trained, if you have the skills, if you have the love, why not put on a circus?

Pets in Costumes Love it I have wanted a dog for … YEARS. I have always either worked too much or been in a financial situation where it wasn’t feasible. In my dream world, I would shelter-rescue a Petit Brabancon (a short-haired Brussels Griffon). She would curl up on my lap while I’m writing short stories and stare at me judgmentally when I took too long of a break from my to-do list. After the work, we’d curl up on the couch to watch “Twin Peaks” and “Bob’s Burgers.” Eventually, the day would come when I’d want to put her in a costume. Maybe I could be Beetlejuice and she could be my sandworm, and she’d be so whimsically, viciously adorable that I would swoon. Or, maybe, I’d be Columbia and she could be Eddie, or like I could be Jareth and she could be the Worm. Because pets in costumes are AWESOME! No, I’m not going to make her wear the costume if she obviously hates it. If you slip on a costume and a pet immediately goes immobile, obviously, it ain’t a good thing. I wouldn’t make my pup deal with that. I would never make her wear something that restricts movement, breathing, or sight lines. So holy crap, I really, really hope that whatever tiny dog I inevitably adopt doesn’t mind cute sweaters and costumes because my SQUEE will be never-ending. — Patty Templeton

Hate it Let’s face it: These are unwilling subjects. Your dog or cat did not purchase the attachable plush mane to make it look like a lion. It did not ask for a stegosaurus body suit for its birthday. It did not ask for and then be forced into a Santa coat with optional antlers for Christmas. These costumes are strictly for the amusement of humans. “Oh, but they like it!” Why, because they do not chew at it and/or whimper the whole time? Pretty low bar for liking something. We put pets in costumes because it’s cute. And the big reason it’s cute is because they have no idea how silly they look, the pet equivalent of someone waking up with a part of the human anatomy written on their forehead. We put animals in costumes because it makes them look more like humans. How vain. It may be fun for you, but it’s not fun for them, other than the excitement they’re responding to from you. So have all the fun you want making fun of your pets. But if they had any idea, they’d hate it, too. — David Holub

4 | Thursday, May 11, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[wellness]

GravityBrain | Katie Clancy

How an eating disorder helped me make peace with my plate

s summer approaches, we high-country humans naturally begin to perk up about our health, and those usual concerns about weight and swimsuits are supplemented with conversations about detox, diets, and performance-enhancing drugs. At least mine are. I’d like to jump-start those conversations by dedicating several columns to exploring how food and nutrition can make us more optimal human beings. I’m interested to know how we can upgrade our brain matter, reduce inflammation, boost our immune systems, and, of course, finally locate that Holy Grail of nutrition: The perfect breakfast. But, in the interest of full disclosure, you should know that taking food advice from me is like getting career advice from John Travolta. My relationship to food, like many of us, I’d assume, is only slightly more complicated than a dysfunctional love affair. Like a love affair at work. With your boss’ boss. Who is married to your accountant. And you’re being audited. In the past, “food” was my attempt to put order into a world that felt chaotic and out of control. I fell in love with dance very young and learned self-discipline to sculpt my body into what I truly felt was an expression of capital-b Beauty. Somewhere in the middle of puberty I realized that food could control the thing I valued the most: My body. I developed an eating disorder; I rejected proper nutrition. My nervous system burned out. I broke bones. Dance is part art, part athletics. Ask any ball player – you start with some talent, then it becomes work, work, work, reps, reps, reps. In college at a major dance conservatory in New York City, that meant six to 12 hours a day spent in the studio taking class and rehearsing/training for shows. When I developed a stress fracture during the fall of my senior year, confining me to a cast for six months, I was devastated. Graduation was months away and I was supposed to be in the best shape of my life, preparing for cattle call auditions in hopes of being hired by a major dance company. I swam and practiced Pilates religiously; I applied the same strictness and ruthless discipline to my diet. While my college mates were training, I gimped

Alexi Grojean/ Special to DGO

through the East Village and stumbled upon one of America’s first raw food cafés, Jubb’s Lifeforce. A fraudster cloaked in shaman’s clothing, David Jubb’s whole shtick promoted the “frugavore” diet: Flowering fruit only. No beets, watermelon, or nuts; animal protein was a death sentence. He was obsessed with liver flushes and charged $400 per hour coaching his devotees through 14-day fasts. I bought into the belief in hopes of keeping my body strong and lithe. I even worked in the kitchen for free smoothies and learned some of the science behind raw-food world – and I did benefit from the fresh salads and digestive enzymes. But one night I saw Jubb at a fancy Italian restaurant with his fist in the breadbasket, and my disillusionment brought me back to reality. My short stint as a raw-food faddist is just one example of the many ways I have misunderstood my drive to be a high-performance athlete and mistakenly sought something unattainable and “perfect.” It took family, friends and therapy to escape those self-sabotaging techniques. Today, I am at peace with my plate.

It’s important, however, to name the tricksters that lurk in my psyche, posed to disrupt just about any meal. They say naming your fears gives you power over them, so meet my bitches: »» First there’s Judge Judy, who has a keen eye from all the carrot juice she drinks and is secretly judging you based on the size and shape of your body. She watches you from a pedestal and sees you pouring another glass of wine or putting chips into your grocery basket. She attacks your moral soundness when you eat a little too much potato salad at the barbecue. »» Then there’s Faddist Fanny who’s SO EXCITED because she just learned something new and groundbreaking about nutrition and wants YOU to know so YOU can change RIGHT NOW! Fanny stands proudly at the party and waits for the host to push a platter of deviled eggs into her face, and, instead of politely saying “no” and then changing the subject, she smiles, laughs a little to herself, and brings all the attention to herself: “No thank you, I am gluten-free, alcohol-free, grain-free, sugar-free, taste-free.” »» Finally, Gated-community Gabby doesn’t eat out in public a lot due to her dietary restrictions. She’s highly regimented and strict about her nutrition and has long forgotten the joy of connecting with others through food. Look, let’s not downplay the seriousness of eating disorders. They are real, and oftentimes, impossible to talk about. I know that many people suffer a lot more than I ever did from self-induced starvation and/or food-related illnesses. If you are feeling overwhelmed and undersupported, please reach out to Axis Health or Riversage Counseling in Durango. If, by the end of the day, after we’re done preparing perfect meals and taking supplements and exercising just right, there’s no energy left for anyone else, then what’s the point? I’m lucky to have a guy whose motto is eat, drink and be merry. He assures me “plump” is a good thing. And after all the years, all the named fears, sometimes I find myself thinking: Easy for you to say, skinny boy. Katie Clancy is the co-owner of Studio Soma, a therapeutic movement and bodywork sanctuary in Durango. She is also a freelance writer and dances with 20Moons Dance Theatre.

�� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 5

[sound] What’s new Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Platero is an ace channeling Stevie Ray

e’ve all had that friend, that one kid on your block who was pushed into music lessons and had the patience and dedication to stick with it. He’s the one kid you wouldn’t see on random Saturdays or Sundays, and while other kids were out playing pick-up football or shooting hoops, riding bikes or throwing rocks at passing cars, that one friend was locked away in the bedroom practicing. He was the friend that had better taste in music, and the friend who now can pick up that instrument and do things with it you can only do in your imagination. He’s the person that makes you question why you didn’t have the patience to stick with your piano/guitar/ trumpet lessons. In New Mexico, that kid was Levi Platero, a blues guitar player performing May 18 at the Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. Opening the show are Kirk James and Larry Carver. “My dad brought home a really cheap, pawn-shop guitar and a howto video of Stevie Ray Vaughan, and ever since then I’ve always been infatuated with Stevie Ray and I just kept playing his songs; I was 9 years old,” said Platero in a recent phone interview. There are certainly worse guitar players to emulate. Listen to the music of Vaughan and you’ll hear that he did his homework, honoring the early and influential blues players that pre-date rock ’n’ roll along with Jimi Hendrix. Platero is doing what he can to solidify his place in the guitar world, attempting to create his own sound, while honoring the greats that came before him. Listening to the young guitar player and you’ll hear lots of influ-

Moon Duo,“Occult Architecture Vol. 2” Available: Now via Brooklyn, New York-based Sacred Bones Records on compact disc and standard black vinyl LP.

Courtesy of Levi Platero

Bryant’s best

Friday: Rock, country, western garage with Lawn Chair Kings, 5:30 p.m. No cover. The Balcony, 600 Main Ave. upstairs. Information: 422-8008. Thursday (May 18): Levi Platero with openers Kirk James and Larry Carver, 7:30 p.m. $19/$28. Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College, 1000 Rim Drive. Information: 247-7657. ences, but it’s Vaughan that is the major catalyst; not necessarily for the sound, although that’s there. Not for the flash, or Vaughan’s outrageous scarves and fancy hats, but for the soul. There is just something about the late Texan’s playing that struck an early chord with a young Platero, and that chord never left. “It wasn’t just the style; he could have been any kind of other guitarist. He could have played rock, or jazz, or been a country guy,” said Platero. “But it was the blues he really loved, and it wasn’t the style I was so infatuated with, it was the

way he played, with such raw emotion. I was captivated by that, so every time I play, it flows through me. I love to play like him, but not play every single note by him.” Platero is growing into a great player, attempting to join the long list of blues-rock dudes that have wood-shedded long enough to whip up some guitar theatrics via a Fender Stratocaster. He’s soft spoken and a humble guy, and like his playing, solid and honest, yet void of chest-thumping and frills. His playing and stage presence is as natural as a kid learning basic motor skills; there’s not a lot of memory of learning how to, just an ability in the now to do it well. It’s all just part of what is turning out to be a natural progression in his pursuit of playing the guitar. “I’m having fun just making, writing, and playing music,” said Platero. “And if I take care of the music, I’m sure it will take care of me.” Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@ fortlewis.edu.

This is fantastic time to play catchup on records released during the waning months of spring. Not to say there aren’t worthwhile releases out this week, just see Cooper Stapleton’s recommendations above or below or nearby, but last Friday alone we had new releases from The Afghan Whigs, At the Drive-In, Perfume Genius, and Bonnie “Prince” Billy, among many others. Last week also featured a semi-surprise from Portland-based psych-droners Moon Duo. I say semi-surprise because, logically, if there is a Volume 1, one can and should expect a Volume 2, no? Yeah, see, I verbalize that now but didn’t see it coming back in February while salivating over the initial installment. What seemingly began as a side project for Wooden Shjips guitarist Erik “Ripley“ Johnson and keyboardist Sanae Yamada has become a full-blown entity five or six records deep. On this second volume, recorded in Portland (Volume 1 was recorded in Berlin), Johnson and Yamada are joined by touring drummer John Jeffrey and explore themes of duality. Specifically, “of these light and dark energies through the Chinese theory of Yin and Yang. Following the Yin (feminine, darkness, night, earth) represented on Occult Architecture Vol. 1, Vol. 2 presents the Yang.” Recommended for fans of Wooden Shjips, Spaceman 3, Chrome, label mates Psychic Ills or even touches of early Jesus and Mary Chain. —— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

6 | Thursday, May 11, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[sound] New at

ing as a whole. If you have been craving something to drink weird tea or have 2 a.m. conversations about past lives to, this album should scratch that itch.

[Vintage Durango]

John Frum,“Stirring in the Noos”

May 12 Bob’s Burgers Music Album Ever since I heard “Gravy Boat (Sailors in your Mouth)” three Thanksgivings ago, I knew that I needed a full album of “Bob’s Burgers” songs. And now that dream has come true. A massive collection sprawling all six seasons of the show and over 110 tracks, this record collection really does have everything. In addition to tracks from the show itself, it also features selections from the “Bob’s Buskers” series, a collection of covers by bands like The National, St. Vincent, and Stephen Merritt, among others. There is also an amazing vinyl boxset collection coming out, complete with art prints, stickers, temporary tattoos and all sorts of other goodies. Perpetual burger eater Teddy narrates an unboxing video that is wonderful. Remember, bad stuff happens in the bathroom. Amanda Palmer and Edward Ka-Spel,“I Can Spin A Rainbow” This week in unexpected but perfect combinations, we have avant pop and weird art superstar Amanda Palmer and Edward Ka-Spel of the Legendary Pink Dots combining forces into a baroque pop feast for the ears. The recording leans on the quiet, moody side, and serves as a perfect soundtrack to writing weird fiction by candlelight, or poetry by the river. Both Palmer’s and Ka-Spel’s voices intermingle with each other so well that, even though they are very distinct, they get lost in each other, adding to the otherworldly tone of the record-

To those in the know, John Frum is an enigma that emerged out of a few of my favorite musical acts. Featuring current and former members of The Faceless, The Dillinger Escape Plan and John Zorn, John Frum, named from a strange cult surrounding a World War II serviceman, is an enigmatic and massive death metal presence, churning and growing like an uncontrollable cell. At first it seems impossible to dig in to, but once you immerse yourself in the noise and tumult, you will feel the patterns and ride the roiling waves to a transcendent death metal masterpiece. This is not for everyone, but should you have any interest in extreme music, I implore you to listen to something that will challenge you. Paramore,“After Laughter” And to think they said pop punk would never die. Call it selling out, call it cashing in, call it a maturation, whatever you want to call it, Paramore has changed. You probably felt it coming while listening to their last self-titled album. Something was different. The fire was still there but it burned a little differently. Uplifting is probably the best word to describe “After Laughter,” a motivational pop mixtape to keep the listener going when it is hardest to go. Gone are the shrieking vocals and surprisingly-beefy distortion, replaced by danceable midtempo songs that follow a traditional structure. Not to say they’re boring, but if you have ever heard a song before, you can probably predict how it is going to progress. —— Cooper Stapleton

»» Advertisement for a dishwasher in the Durango News on Friday, May 22, 1952.

What the dishwasher??? Love your dishwasher? Thank an old broad who got pissed at her servants always chipping her posh-ass China in 1887. Josephine Cochrane didn’t trust humans to do a job right, so she designed the first automatic dishwasher, and her company later became KitchenAid. That good ol’ dishwasher that Ms. Josephine made didn’t become available to the public (instead of just bigass hotels and restaurants) until the 1950s. It didn’t mean most folks could afford the novelty kitchen gadget: $219.95 in 1952 is the equivalent of over two grand in today’s dollars. It would take till the 1970s before dishwashers really became affordable.

HOME OF THE COOLEST MARGARITAS IN TOWN!

Bonus weirdness: Why the hell were they selling dishwashers at a music store? What’s up with that, 1952?

HAPPY HOUR

Monday - Friday 2:30pm - 6pm 948 Main Ave · Durango, Co 970.259.7655

—— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer 257403

�� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 7

[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Exploration of three rosès became an intellectual tasting tour

“

The uniquely-shaped bottle (one of my guests described the shape as ‘a perfect butt plug for a horse’), with a very small label (which said little about the wine, but my own investigation revealed that it is a blend of three different reds) ...

”

s I said last week, rosè is not just a shallow beverage for summer sipping but a wine with history, technique, process, and complexity, that can make it worth diving into as an intellectual pursuit. I had some writer friends over to drink rosè this past week, and I think we all experienced some insightful and revelatory wines. When choosing the wines, I wanted to get the breadth of the rosè experience. I wanted various prices, sources, styles, producers, and techniques. I chose a single grape rosè – in this case, a Pinot Noir; an appellation (meaning a wine from a specific region); and a blend (meaning a wine that doesn’t say where it’s from or how it’s made). There are other aspects of choosing wines, such

as vintage (the year that the grapes were grown), which also influences the price, quality, and availability of a wine. I avoid worrying about vintage unless I really know a producer and their specific labels well enough to distinguish a difference from vintage to vintage. Most casual wine drinkers don’t notice these differences, so I’m not going to look at older vintages of rosè. A Vin Gris is a white or rosè wine produced from a black grape. Sean Minor Vin Gris 2016 is a single-grape rosè that incorporates the saignée method of rosè production (saignée is French for “bleed” and during the process, lighter colored juice is bled off of the crushed grape must of a larger batch of red wine). This wine is salmon in color with the aroma of rose or

strawberry water, petrichor, and flavor notes of apricot, peaches and good fruitiness without a lot of tartness or tannins. And most notably, this is very clean and very dry. At $10.99, it’s an excellent wine to drink alone, or paired with soft cheese. An appellation, or wine from a particular region, is often a strictly government-regulated aspect of the wine’s character. European appellation wines are very much enforced, with AOP being of the highest quality, or most locally produced (all the grapes, the producer, the bottler, etc, are as close to the winery as possible). J.L. Quinson Cotes De Provence is from the Provence region of France, one of Continued on Page 9

257412

8 | Thursday, May 11, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[beer] From Page 8

and for its price – $19.99 (other than older vintages of rosè, this is the most expensive rosè that I saw) – so I kind of had to add it to the list. However alluring the deepness of the red, there was no pronounced nose, maybe a little floral and ripe fruit, but that felt like a reach. It did have a lush flavor of berry-like fruitiness of strawberry, cherry, and blueberry, with absolutely no tannins and a subtle tartness. It was dry with a clean finish. It was a drinkable wine with enough fruitiness to stand up to pairing with rare steak, but for $20, I could have drank three bottles of the Cote De Provence and been just as happy.

the renowned rosè-producing regions in the world. Purchased at a Trader Joe’s, it was pretty cheap ($6.99), but I was very surprised by the quality. It is a very pale, light-in-color rosè with a subtle nose of wild flower, wet grass, and quarry stone. The flavor is noticeably different from other dry rosès, in that it is quite tannic and tart, with a pop of strawberry and strong nudges of sweet melon. The Francis Ford Coppola winery is a producer I had heard of, and the Sofia Rosè has a unique outward presentation. The uniquely-shaped bottle (one of my guests described the shape as “a perfect butt plug for a horse”), with a very small label (which said little about the wine, but my own investigation revealed that it is a blend of three different reds), that really showed off the unique color. I described it as “viking blood red.” It really stood out for its color,

Special thanks this week to Sue Harrington at Sean Minor Wines for the details on the wine-making techniques.

Alexi Grojean/ Special to DGO

$7 LUNCH SPECIAL Mon-Fri · 11am-4pm BRUNCH Sat & Sun · 10am-2pm HAPPY HOUR Mon-Thurs 3-7pm BOGO Cheeseburger Tacos $2.50 Cans - $3 Wells

This Week’s Events THURS 5/11 Terry Rickard - 5pm

FRI 5/12

Lawn Chair Kings - 5pm Wake Up Laughing - 9:30pm

SAT 5/13

The Assortment - 5pm The Crags - 9:30pm

SUN 5/14

Pete Giuliani - 4pm

TUES 5/16

Robert Alan Wendeborn is a former cellar operator at Ska Brewing and current lead cellar operator at Tin Roof Brewing in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

Salsa Night - 8pm $2.50 Tacos & $5 Margs 600 Main Ave, Suite 210, Durango, CO 970-422-8008

257443

BOOK YOUR NEXT PARTY HERE! email: allison@balconybarandgrill.com

EVERYTHING

89TH ANNIVERSARY

EXTRAVAGANZA STARTS TOMORROW FRIDAY

MAY 12 9 -6 AM

SATURDAY

MAY 13 9 -6 AM

SUNDAY

MAY 14 10AM -3PM

L A P L A T A C O U N T Y FA I R G R O U N D S E X H I B I T H A L L

20% - TO 75% OFF WINTER

FOOTWEAR & CLOTHING

�� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 9

[fun]

Why you’re not having fun »» What’s stopping you from having a good time and what to do about it Most people experience a moment when maybe they are looking in a mirror or sitting in traffic with crap-all on the radio, and it hits them – “How did I get here?” Work is nonstop, the days have gone by, the years have gone by, the fun seems to have gone by. This is it. This is life. Where is my fun? Is it possible to reroute your life and brain back to fun? DGO talked to psychotherapist and shamanic practitioner Kris Abrams of Cedar Tree Healing Arts to find out.

Everyone thinks they have at least 5 pounds they “should” get rid of. Right. “I should lose weight.” “I shouldn’t eat that piece of cake.” “I shouldn’t do all these things that can be fun” are a big part of our lives. For men, it can be, “I’m too skinny.” Then it becomes, “I should be lifting weights.” “I should be eating more protein.” Another common “should” in this culture is “I should be productive,” ... I have a lot of clients who have a hard time relaxing because they’ve been taught that they’re worth lies in their production. What’s the first step to battling the inner critic? Typically, the reason why we criticize ourselves is that it is a learned behavior. Someone else was criticizing us and we thought, “In order to be acceptable, fit in, be loved, I need to be this way.” The inner critic has your best interest at heart. If you can thank it and treat it with compassion and say, “Gosh, I see how much you have been battling for me and my well-being and I get that you want the best for me, but do you see the message that might have worked before to stave off criticism with a judgmental parent or whoever is now causing a lot of harm?” ... Generally, when people practice that compassion with themselves, it works. The inner critic listens. It actually does want the best for you.

What are common ways people hold themselves back from having fun? I think that our culture exerts Abrams a tremendous amount of pressure on us to associate fun with money. It’s very effective. If you think about what the image is when you think about people having fun, it is generally delivered to us straight from the media, like beer commercials where everyone is partying on the beach ... We are exposed to those images whether it is advertisements, commercials, or within movies or TV shows, from the day we are conscious all the way through our life. It’s no wonder that we have this belief, conscious or not, that money equals fun.

What about thinking planning must be a part of fun?

What else holds people back from having more fun? One of the biggest reasons is the way we “should” ourselves: What we should be doing, who we should be. Again, talking about cultural pressure. The media is one of the big propagators of these “shoulds,” but our families, our friends, our educational institutions, and intimate partners can unwittingly be a part of these “shoulds.”

Artwork by Tim Kapustka

For example, one of the really common ones with women is, “I’m too fat.” It’s rare to meet someone who doesn’t have a concern about that.

This speaks to “doing” versus “being.” This is another huge cultural pressure in this country. It is related to the “shoulds.” The, “You should be ‘doing’ all the time,” that having fun is no different. It is a “doing” rather than a “being.” But if you are really in tune with who you are in any given moment, and not feeling pressured to be anyone besides who you are, you can even have fun looking out the window or washing the dishes ... It is so foreign to our culture of doing all the time that is always trying to be somewhere else. We are always thinking about the future or the Continued on Page 11

10 | Thursday, May 11, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[fun]

How fun came to be in America »» The beginnings of leisure time in the U.S. and what people did with it When did fun become a thing? Our forefathers used to toil until they wore their pickaxes down to handles, their handles down to splintered fingertips, then their fingers into bloody nubs – and that was only Monday. Great-great grams and paw-paw didn’t have time for “fun.”

If you notice that your mind is churning, churning, churning, about stuff that has nothing to do with where you are right now. Can you just notice it? ... Be gentle about it. Notice, “Gosh, I’m not here right now. What would I be noticing if I were here? Would I notice the water on my hands? Would I notice it’s a sunny day outside?” That’s one. You could spend your whole life on that. I mean, all of Buddhism is based on being versus doing. Another is the “shoulds” versus the “woulds.” If you are a person who learns and transforms through thinking and writing, a little exercise you can do is to write down all of the “shoulds” that you told yourself, either throughout your whole life or even just what you should be doing right now. Then, in a different column, write down all of the things you would do, if you allowed yourself.

The first mention of limited work hours in the U.S. was a 1791 carpenters’ strike for a 10-hour workday. If you found time for fun in Colonial America (1492 to 1763), it may have included cockfighting, dueling, or playing “King of Morocco.” A man and a woman stood opposite each other, soberly walked toward one another with lit candles, and when they meet they said: Dude: Have you heard the frightful news? Lady: Alas! Dude: The King of Morocco is dead. Dude: He is buried. Lady: Alas! Alas! Alas! Dude: Alas! Alas! Alas! And for four times, alas, he has cut his throat with a piece of glass.” Then they both ran back to their original places. This was considered super sexual. For real. But no one had time for early-America sex games. It took until the 1830s for the 10-hour day to be a general demand. If somehow you found time between working, labor organizing, sleeping, and family life for fun during the Victorian era, you might have played honeypot, jackstraws, or hot cockles. In honeypot, you roll into a ball and other players try to carry you as far as they can – like a heavy pot of honey from the market. Jackstraws was basically pick up sticks and hot cockles, well, it gets sexy again. One player is blindfolded, puts their head in another player’s lap, and extends their arms behind them with palms up. The blindfolded player then has to guess which of the remaining players is smacking the shit out of their hands and arms. To make time for all this fun, the Chicago labor movement demanded and popularized the eight-hour workday beginning in 1864. If labor leaders had a free 10 minutes for fun, they

past and trying to get somewhere where we are not. Where we are not is where we are and that is where the fun is. What are steps people can take to help lead them to a more fun place in life?

Fun came about in the 17th century. Nobody knows what glittery dandy-pit the word spawned from, but scholars think it came from “fonne” which means “a fool,” or “fonnen,” meaning cheat, trick, or hoax. Obvs, people had fun before then, but the days were predominantly devoted to work.

Lady: Alas! alas!

From Page 10

Wikipedia

»» An advertisement for a burlesque troupe from 1898.

could’ve played a parlor game called “Squeak, Piggy, Squeak.” One person is blindfolded, handed a pillow, and encircled. They are spun about, stop themselves, and drop the pillow. Whoever they dropped the pillow in front of they tell, “Squeak, piggy, squeak,” and then try to guess the person who is pig squealing. Them Victorians knew how to have a good time. By 1890, the U.S. government finally started tracking workers’ hours and the average laborers’ week was 100 hours long. If you could squeeze in fun, you may have bought Emily Dickinson’s latest poetry book, gone to a burlesque show, or – if you were a fella – gone to the saloon. Finally, FINALLY, in 19-freakin-40, Congress amended the Fair Labor Standards Act to limit the federal workweek to 40 hours. Wherein, because it was a less-inflated economy, many families survived on one full-time income and had free time, which led to more fun. After World War II, the U.S. economy was booming, the American teenager was born, and fun in America was here to stay.

Another practice that is really powerful, and it can actually change the biochemistry of the brain, in the moment and over time, is gratitude practice. Whether you are writing it down or sharing it with another person or thinking about it as you go for a walk, just thinking, “What do I appreciate? What am I grateful for right now?” It changes the biochemistry of the brain. Even if you are in such a terrible mood that you can’t think of a single thing that you are grateful for, even asking the question has shown that it begins to shift your biochemistry. One of my favorite activities I like to do with clients is called “The Child’s Wander” ... Rather than walking a trail to get to a destination – to get to the next trail, to get to the lake, as physical fitness – rather than approaching hiking that way, you walk the trail and you have 30 minutes and wander as though you are a little kid, like the kid that you once were. If you feel like climbing a tree, you are going to climb a tree. If you feel like skipping rocks on the lake, you are going to do that. Just give yourself that time. It’s amazing what can happen for people. They say, “I forgot how I used to be, who I am.” If we’re getting to the core of why I think that people don’t have fun, it’s because they are severed from who they really are. This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

—— Patty Templeton

DGO Staff Writer

�� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 11

Do you have a whoopee cushion hidden somewhere, too?

[fun]

Is a whoopee cushion fun?

ARE YOU HAVING FUN?

I dunno. What is fun? I created an online survey and sent it to a bunch of people. Tough questions and yes or no questions. “When was the last time you had fun?” “What was the most fun that you’ve had in the last year?” It amounted to, “What is fun?” I’m still not prepared to answer that question. You created a show around fun and then half-tortured friends with a fun survey and aren’t sure how to define fun?

»» Tim Kapustka’s “You Should be Having Fun” solo show

It’s so personal. I would probably take some of their answers, like being totally present, like losing track of time. I would agree with that.

opens at Studio & this Friday. There will be hijinks.

“E

I’m kind of addicted to my phone and that sucks. I’m tethered like our society is. Did people like my post? What time is it? Did someone answer my texts? To me, that gets you more and more out of being present. The most fun is when you are, like, “Holy shit, it’s midnight! Where did the time go?”

ven in the mud and scum of things, something always, always sings,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson. Basically, life is a load of B&S, but it’s also damn beautiful. Tim Kapustka wants to help you sort through the shit to find the sequins. Through retro-modern vector illustrations, Kapustka captures slick nostalgia and concise-lined whimsy. His first solo show, “You Should be Having Fun,” opens at Studio & this Friday, May 12. What is fun? Who is fun? What does art have to do with fun, anyways? DGO talked about all of it with Kapustka – after he gave us a joy buzzer handshake.

What was something surprising you learned from the survey? One of the questions was, “Do you consider yourself fun?” The first, about, 20 people said, “Yes, I’m fun.” I thought about it and was like, “Of course. Everyone thinks they’re fun.” Right? But then towards the end, a couple people said no. I was like, “Oh, that’s sad,” but I know a couple of these people well and I disagree with them. I think they’re fun. It was interesting that they’d say no. Because they value fun and have fun in their lives, so it is interesting to see that interpretation. Why make art about fun? It has been a really introspective year for me. Self-growth, a lot of dealing with things internally, looking at myself, addressing issues, and working on them. One of the things that came up is that – I don’t want to say that I’m too responsible, but I feel like I had to ask myself, “When was the last time you just let go and had fun?” I realized that even when I had the option for fun, like someone inviting me to go to a movie or do something I love, I said, “I can’t.” Tell us about your title,“You Should be Having Fun.”

Artwork by Tim Kapustka

12 | Thursday, May 11, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’m not a big fan of the word “should.” I think it’s an inflammatory word ... I’m not pretending to have a prescription or tell you how to have fun. I am mainly talking to myself. That word, “should,” would ignite me a bit or stick out, if I went to an art show ... Realistically, it is not me trying to tell Durango, or anyone else who wants to come, how to have fun. This is a fun town. Most people in this town are having

GO! “You Should Be Having Fun,” Tim Kapustka’s solo show opening reception

people would think,“Dude, that’s not fun.”

Cost: Free

Oh man. It’s kind of embarrassing. I’m a graphic designer. That’s the kind of robot I am. I like things to be arranged. [Pushes salt and pepper shaker together on table.] In order. Spatial arrangement. Stuff like that. Cleaning. That sounds so OCD.

Ages: All

That’s fun to you?

Information: www.anddurango.com

In a way. It feels better.

When: 5 p.m. to 9 p.m., Friday, May 12 Where: Studio &, 1027 Main Ave.

plenty of fun. It’s me talking to me, that’s where it started. What do you do for fun that most

Like making sure that my records are in an order that I’ve created that I couldn’t even explain to you. I like being able to boom, boom, boom grab the records or items I want when I want them. Continued on Page 14

�� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 13

[fun] From Page 13

Does the theme of fun connect back to your artwork in general, or just this show? I think, by and large, the vector illustrations that I do and did previous to this could be lumped under “fun.” Other work that I have done rotates around this theme but not intentionally, like an exercise bike from the ’70s or a pogo stick. It’s nostalgic and a lot of my work revolves around that. How does nostalgia work for you? I pull stuff out of my past and take a mundane, bit player in a memory and push that forward to become the poster child for that memory. So if you have memory of a day that you broke your arm and maybe the obvious star is your broken arm from falling out of a tree, but earlier that day you were eating snow cones with your best friend. So the poster child is the snow cone. It is tertiary to the narrative of that day and that memory. That alleviates the pressure. It glorifies the mundane. I really like that. Memories are not fact. They are filtered through you. You get to decide the picture for that memory. Do you have a “fun” philosophy now?

Artwork by Tim Kapustka

“Are you having fun? You should be having more fun.” I think we could all adopt that a little bit. I’m not saying don’t go to work for a week or do the no-show-no-call, but have fun at work. Have fun when you have to clean out the barn. Fun is legal. It doesn’t make you less of a responsible person.

Most fun movie you’ve seen: “The Jerk” Most fun album you’ve listened to: Velvet Underground’s “Loaded” Most fun concert you’ve been to: Phish

What’s going down at the opening party for “You Should be Having Fun”?

Most fun Instagram you follow: PulpBrother (Javier Mayoral)

There will be hijinks. It is going to be a celebration of fun. I invite people to come in costume or add to the evening in their tangent of fun. If fun to you is wearing a wacky hat, bring it. If fun is wearing your Richard Nixon mask, bring it. If fun is making a personal performance piece, do it. Maybe it’s not always the arena to do that at an art opening because you may eclipse the artist, but I’m fine with that. My art will be on the walls, but I want this to be about fun. Just don’t burn the place down or hurt anybody.

Most fun artist off the top of your head: Wu Wallace Most fun toy you had as a kid: Hoppity Hop Most fun toy you have now: Pogo stick

»» Artists Shay Lopez (left) and Tim Kapustka. There will be a ton of sugar – the drug of fun. Stephen Sellers (Bad Goat), is going to play music ... Merv the Shoemaker, he’s goJust come. But if you’re the type of person who likes to ing to make me clown shoes ... There’s going to be big fun wear tutus at every mention of a party, do it! Have fun. and big surprises, like the kind of surprises that you have to rent from places ... You don’t have to come in costume.

Bonus fun round

Most fun era you’d time travel back to: 1920s Paris during the Lost Generation, being three steps behind Hemingway and Gertrude Stein. I just want to be there and live on the same block as them. I don’t pretend I would be cool enough to be invited to the house, but it would be awesome. —— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

14 | Thursday, May 11, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[fun]

Have some cheap, creative party fun »» Life getting

boring? Try these themed shindigs

Praise be to pleasure and all hail the get-down! There are more ways in heaven and earth, Horatio, to have a good time than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Ain’t nothing wrong with Netflix, but get some variety! In fact, here’s a splendorous list of fun crap to do with your friends that’s always sounded fab but you’ve never done.

Beer tasting

Game night

Postcard party

Pick a house, any house, then fill that house with snacks, Spotify, and a few iced-up coolers. Tell folks to bring a six-pack of an awesome craft beer and expect to share. Have enough glasses on hand for your guests so that everyone can try “tastes” of all the beers brought.

Everyone has at least one card or board game. Tell your friends to bring one over. If you have only a couple folks, draw from a hat what game you play first. If a hellton of people are at your house, separate off into groups so some folks can play dominoes, Jenga, Catan, Cards Against Humanity, charades, or whatever.

You can get postcards at Walgreens, Maria’s, Amazon, all over the damn place. Put on music, figure out who you’ve lost track of, and commence the letter writing or drawing campaign!

Bloody Mary bar Have a lazy Sunday porch party with a build-your-own bloody Mary bar. This can get as complicated as you want to make it. General fixins to have on hand: Homemade bloody Mary mix, one or two store-bought bloody Mary mixes, pickles, and vodka. Everything else is a bonus, like: Pearl onions, green olives, blue cheese-stuffed olives, celery, jalapeños, bacon, mozzarella cheese, and spicy pickled asparagus. Heck, some people even balance whole sliders or grilled cheese halves on their glass. Casino night I see your cards and raise you a ... you won’t know until you throw a casino party and play me in poker. Games to have on hand: Blackjack, poker, scratch-off lotto tickets, friendly sports event betting, dice, and darts with a Rat Pack soundtrack. Dessert potluck

Host a salon

Strain exchange

Host a séance

Get your floofy crinoline and top hat

Tea time

Get extra on this. Instead of just marathoning a TV show with friends, theme your whole night around it. Have pals dress up like characters from whatever show you’re watching, like “Stranger Things,” “Game of Thrones,” or “American Horror Story.” Then have food that captures the show, too. Like massive GOT turkey legs or ’80s candy for “Stranger Things.” —— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

Karaoke party You may or may not have a karaoke machine. You don’t need one. You need a YouTube karaoke channel and pizzazz.

Era party

Everyone has book clubs these days, but few think to do it with music. Invite folks over who nerd out to music and talk about your all-time favorites and new finds. Have everyone tell you their current top-rotation song to put on a party playlist.

Have a big enough space for as many forts as you have people coming over. If this is a bigass, grown-ups-making-forts party, everyone needs to bring extra fairy-lit tent or pillow kingdom supplies.

Tell your pals to bring their favorite strain, edible, or cannabis product. You can all exchange for someone else’s favorite or set up a tasting bar of new weed to try.

TV party

You don’t have to get dark and spooky about it, or you could. Invite over a spiritualist, if you know any. If you don’t, bring out the Ouija board and relearn how to play “Light as a Feather Stiff as a Board.”

Luau

Fort night

Know what hot days need? Kiddie pools full of cool water that you and your friends lounge in.

Common in the 17th and 18th centuries, salons were gatherings dedicated to showcasing the talents of guests in the literary, musical, or philosophical arts. Invite friends over to give readings, talk refined politics, play music, or do whatever they do to amuse the rest of the group.

Oh my freakin gawd. All desserts, all the time. Everyone who steps in the door hands the host a dessert. Red velvet cupcakes, Jell-O shots, caramel corn, carrot cake, Rumchata cheesecake, peanut M&Ms, popsicles, whatever. Just bring the sugar. Flapper party, anyone? How about a 1980s dance night? You could have a 1800s masquerade! Too much work? Take it down a notch to a mod 1960s cocktail hour. Other ideas include a 1950s beatnik night, a ’70s disco, or ’90s grunge.

Pool party

on – or go uppity and put on your poshest frock or suit, it’s high tea time! Have a variety of traditional teas, fancy teapots, (thrifted or fancy) teacups, bite-sized sammiches, and adorable desserts, like lavender tea bread.

Weather is getting dang fine out. Get a few tiki torches, dress the tables in grass skirts, lay out tropically-infused food, set up some coconut bowling, and put on exotica lounge tunes. Music club

Murder mystery night Pinterest is full of overachievingly gorgeous murder mystery dinner ideas. You can also buy a kit for about $30 or Google for a downloadable free kit on how to kill your friends and have them love you for it.

SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY –SNOOP DOGG & DR. DRE

GREAT STRAIN SELECTION • HASH & CONCENTRATE • EDIBLES • SEEDS • CLONES PIPES • SMOKING ACCESSORIES • APPAREL • MJ LITERATURE & CONSULTING • ATM ON SITE RECREATIONAL 9am-9pm • MEDICAL 9am-6:45pm • 72 SUTTLE ST. UNITS F & G 970.259.3674 • 7 DAYS A WEEK

The Alternative Resource durangoorganics.com

facebook.com/durangoorganics 257409

�� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 15

[ weed ]

[ review ] Charlotte’s Cousin

Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

What is it?

Looking to get growing? Consider these strains

o, you’re going to grow some cannabis this year? Good for you! Maybe you’re a little worried about whether you will be able to make it happen; well, you can put that worry to rest – they call it “weed” for a reason. If you are willing to look at your crop once a day and to commit approximately 10 minutes a day to keeping your girls happy (because unless something else is going on, the plants you grow will be females), you will be smiling highly this fall. Growing marijuana is one of the most fulfilling things that I have done in my lifetime. What started as, if I am being honest, one of the crappiest little operations imaginable – 12 plants next to the furnace with a bunch of shop lights from Home Depot – blossomed into a tropical jungle which overtook about 4/5 of our basement and blessed me with a getaway from the rest of this crazy world and a steady supply of primo smoke. A whole slew of strains passed through my subterranean garden, but there were three standbys that were true joys to grow and I would recommend them to anyone looking for unfickle cultivars that deliver a lovely product at the season’s end: Blue Cheese, Northern Lights, and Cinderella 99. Barney’s Farm Blue Cheese: The smelliest strain I have ever encountered and the reason I started growing cannabis. The first time I smoked it, I was sold. This 80/20 indica (which is not my typical favored breakdown, as I am generally a sativa guy) bred from UK Cheese, with background genetics from Skunk #1. It’s a cross of Afghani, Alcapulco Gold and Colombian Gold, crossed with Blueberry (DJ Short’s Afghani/Thai/Purple Thai masterpiece) to create a strain that carried me to galaxies beyond galaxies in my mind. Blue Cheese was one of the two strains I grew during the time period when I had no idea how to grow, and, in spite of my sins, which included underwatering, a terrible, dirty environment, and embarrassingly weak lighting, “The Cheese,” as me and my partner Chocolate Duck referred to it, continued to produce bud that blew my crown chakra straight into outer space. I even dropped a few tiny seedlings into some hollows in the forest one summer and came back in October to some of the most resinous little beauties I have ever seen. The only “problem,” to nitpick, is the stench The Cheese produced. I would smell it from three houses away as I drove down the street. This was resolved, eventually, with the addition of a couple charcoal HEPA filters in the basement, an addition I would recommend to anyone with the wherewithal to purchase them, as they condition the air to create a very grow-friendly environment. The second strain, one that never left the rotation once we acquired a mother plant, is Northern Lights. NL is a

Charlotte’s Cousin is a sativa related to the famed Charlotte’s Web strain. Charlotte’s Web is actually considered a hemp plant because of its low TCH, only .03 percent, which makes it ideal for medical use for those who cannot tolerate or use THC. The effects Although uplifting and clear-feeling, there is only a smidgen of THC in Charlotte’s Cousin. Because of its high levels of CBDs, Charlotte’s cousin is wonderful for any type of pain relief. It is also good for anxiety and nausea. This is a strain to turn to if you want all of the benefits of cannabis, with none of the high. The smell

David Holub/DGO; images via Adobe stock

Charlotte’s cousin has a fresh clipped grass smell that reminds me a bit of spring, with the deep pungent earthy undertone. The look

world-renown classic for good reason. Its mellow high delivers an unmatched sense of contentment and it is quite possibly the easiest plant I ever worked with. This crossbreeding of Afghani and Thai landraces is an absolute beast – thickly covered with leaves and possessed of the consistently biggest colas in the game. She responds amazingly to pruning of low and interior vegetation and “lollipopping,” denuding the stems from the bottom up to create big, juicy top buds. The third strain I recommend is one we came across after we had been at it for a while and had our method fairly well dialed in. Cinderella 99 rewarded our learning curve and delivered a couple unexpected surprises. Cindy has an interesting biography, as the strain is said to have been developed from a bagseed by the Brothers Grimm and includes genetics from NL, Jack Herer. Skunk, Haze, and what is described on one website as a “Mystery Male.” However she came to be, she is a beauty. High in THC, low in stature, and quick to develop, Cindy passed through our room in about 40 days, faster than any other strain we worked with. There was also a bonus at the end of her cycle: If we harvested early, when the trichromes were mostly milky white, the final product would lean toward her sativa background, and if we waited about four additional days, the indica side would kick in to create gorgeous amber trichromes which delivered a much more sedative effect. Next week, we will walk through some of the basics of getting started and how to nurse your babies through their vegetative phase. Consider selecting one of these strains that served me so well. Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

Skinny, tight buds with a dark green hue sporting a few purple hairs. These buds are, in some senses, rather plain. These are the workers of the weed world and they don’t come dressed in their finery, like the crystal-covered high TCH buds. The taste There is a very basic earthy, woody taste to Charlotte’s Cousin, but taste between the lines and you will notice small hints of velvety licorice underlining light high notes of citrus fruits. The final verdict Charlotte’s Cousin and its famed relative are excellent sources of CBD. Charlotte’s Cousin has just enough THC to help with the uptake of the CBD, making it quite effective as medicine. It is tasty to vape, with a very mellow and pleasant flavor. This is a medicinal bud – don’t buy it expecting to get high. Charlotte’s Cousin is an excellent example that showcases the merging of genetic breeding in both industrial hemp and medical marijuana. —— Meggie J

16 | Thursday, May 11, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[ weed ] Elevated Discourse Meggie J

Getting to know hemp, the miracle crop

recently sat down with my friend and local hemp advocate Sharon King to talk a little about the differences between hemp and marijuana. In her late 20s, Sharon was diagnosed with Graves’ disease, an autoimmune disorder with no cure. Frustrated with the lack of answers from conventional doctors, she began to seek out natural and alternative medicines to help her control her Graves’ disease. Sharon began using hemp and CBD products to ease her symptoms with great success. Experiencing a surge of health, her curiosity piqued, she sought more answers about Graves and the healing properties she was experiencing using hemp. Hungry for answers, she enrolled in pre-med at Fort Lewis College, specifically to learn about the science of her body and what she could do to help it. “There were so many ‘ah-ha’ moments. I could be sitting in a rather stodgy microbiology class and suddenly I’d want to stand up and shout.” It was a euphoric feeling not only to understand the biology of her own body and its mysterious disorder, but also why hemp was helping her, and how it could help even more. After the passing of Colorado Amendment 64, which allowed both legal recreational marijuana and legal agricultural hemp, she began facilitating the Western Slope Hemp Talks to educate the community. I asked her for a 101 about hemp. What’s the difference between hemp and marijuana, or even medical hemp and medical marijuana? I think we should clarify those two things by calling them “industrial hemp” and “medical marijuana,” although there is a medical component to the industrial hemp. Cannabis is a genus in the plant

world, then we have species, like sativa, and indica. Industrial hemp is cannabis sativa that does not have THC. In order for plants to have high concentrates of THC, they are genetically bred. It takes work to maintain those levels, but when a plant grows feral, its THC levels are naturally lower. Because of the legal medical marijuana industry in Colorado, there was already a lot of knowledge how to breed higher levels of THC into plants. Many people then used this knowledge to breed the THC out of the plants for use for industrial purposes, as well as breed in higher levels of CBDs for medicinal uses. So when you go to the health food store and see hemp seed oil, is that medical grade? Do they sell medical hemp at a health food store? The hemp seed oil you would see at the health food store is a food grade oil, for use in salad dressings, or shakes, and made from the seeds. If you want medicinal hemp oil, then you need to look for a CBD-enriched oil that is pressed from the plant. I am a strong proponent that THC and CBD are more effective together than they are separate, but some people cannot tolerate the psychoactive effects of THC. There are lots of products for people that cannot combine CBD with THC.

a composite with other materials to create a lighter stronger compound with the same tensile strength – if not stronger than – steel. Because of this, there are emerging technologies in the automotive and aeronautical industries. Hemp can also be made into a type of plastic that is biodegradable. Problems with pollution because of plastic can be solved by replacing plastics with biodegradable hemp composites. There are also many applications for agricultural use: Super-absorbent bedding for animals made from stalks, food cakes for cattle, made from a healthy combination of hemp seeds and stalks, which is better than corn-based cattle feed for the cows, as well the land. Many farmers want to plant hemp as a rotation crop, as it is beneficial in replenishing

nutrients back into the soil. What have you learned as you present your talks about hemp? I’ve found this really isn’t a partisan issue. It appeals to all kinds of people in our county, Democrat and Republican. I like to approach people with real solutions, not tell people we can save the world, but tell them how. This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity Meggie J is a published poet and freelance writer living in the Four Corners. She is an avid reader, rafter, and connoisseur of cannabis. She can be reached at coxwell. meggiej@gmail.com.

25% off all our 100mg drinks

Beyond medicine, what are other some other uses for industrial hemp? Besides using hemp seed oil as food, we can make fuel from hemp seed oil by combining it with 15 percent ethanol, making a bio-diesel that burns 70 percent cleaner than diesel. The stalks of the hemp plant can be used as a fiber, not just clothing and paper products, but also lots of applications in the building industry. Hemp can be made into a non toxic insulation eliminating the need for dangerous fiberglass. It can be made into fiberboard. The outside stalks of the fiber, known as the hurd, can be mixed with lime, forming a type of concrete that can be poured into forms which have an insulation value of over 30. Hemp can be used in

lemonades | half and half | fruit punch Other Western Slope Locations

Ridgway & Silverton

Follow us on Instagram for 10% OFF @acmedurango NEW HOURS 8AM-7PM • 7 DAYS A WEEK 1644 CTY RD 203 - OLD SWEENEYS BLDG (970) 247-2190 • ACMEHEALINGCENTER.COM

�� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 17

[love and sex]

Savage Love | Dan Savage

I’m having a hard time with my older husband not keeping up My husband is nearly 20 years older than me, which was never an issue early in our relationship. However, for approximately the last eight years, we have not been able to have fulfilling sex because my husband can’t keep an erection for more than a few thrusts. I love my husband and I am committed to our family, but I miss full PIV sex. I’m still fairly young and I enjoy sex, but I feel like I am mourning the death of my sex life. I miss the intimate connection and powerful feeling of sex with a man. My husband tries to please me, but oral sex is just OK and toys don’t have the same effect. We have tried Viagra a few times, but it gave him a terrible headache. I try to brush it off because I don’t want to embarrass him. I am curious about casual relationships, but I fear they wouldn’t stay casual. Also, I would feel guilty being with another man even though my husband said I could do it one time. On one hand, I feel like I should be able to have a fulfilling sex life. But on the other hand, I don’t want to be a cheater. Now On To Having Awkwardly Realistic Discussions It’s not cheating if you have your husband’s permission, NOTHARD, but [effing] another man could still blow up your marriage – even if you manage to keep it casual. Story time: I knew this straight couple. They were good together, they loved each other, and they had a strong sexual connection. (Spoiler alert: my use of the past tense.) The woman was all about monogamy, but her boyfriend had always wanted to have a threesome. She didn’t want to be the reason he never got to do something he’d been fantasizing about since age 13, so she told her boyfriend that if the opportunity ever presented itself, he could go for it. So long as the sex was safe and he was honest with her, he could have a threesome one time.

The opportunity presented itself, the sex was safe, he was honest – and my friend spent a week ricocheting between devastated and furious before finally dumping her devastated and flummoxed boyfriend. During a drunken postmortem, my friend told me she wanted her boyfriend to be able to do it but didn’t want him to actually do it. She didn’t want to be the reason he couldn’t; she wanted to be the reason he didn’t. So her permission to have a threesome “one time” was a test (one he didn’t know he was taking) and a trap (one he couldn’t escape from). I urged my friend to take her boyfriend back – if he would have her – but he’d touched another woman with the tip of his penis (two women, actually), which meant he didn’t love her the way she thought he did, the way she deserved to be loved, etc., and consequently he couldn’t be allowed to touch her with the tip of his penis ever again. Back to you, NOTHARD: My first reaction to your letter was “You’ve got your husband’s OK to [eff] some other dude – go for it.” Then I reread your letter and thought, “Wait, this could be a test and a trap.” You say you’ve brushed off the issue to spare your husband’s feelings, but he may sense it’s an issue and, consciously or subconsciously, this is his way of finding out. If you take him up on his offer “one time,” and you make the mistake of being honest with him about it, he may be just as devastated as my friend was. So don’t take your husband up on his offer – not yet. Have a few more conversations about your sex life instead and address nonmonogamy/ openness generally, not nonmonogamy/openness as a work-around for his dick. There may be some solo adventures he’d like to have, there may be invigorating new sexual adventures you could enjoy as a couple (maybe he’d love to go down on two women at once?), or he may rescind or restate his offer to let you [eff] some other dude one time. Get clarity – crystal clarity – before proceeding.

Finally, NOTHARD, there are other erectile dysfunction drugs out there, drugs that may not have the same side effects for your husband. And low to very low doses of Viagra – doses less likely to induce a headache – are effective for some men. Good luck. Partner and I adopted a 2.5-yearold mutt a month ago. We are also trying to get pregnant and are having sex every day for 15-day stretches a month. Dog does NOT like being shut out – we love dog but do not love the idea of him being in the room. Should we get over it? Should dog get over it? What is dog/human sexual privacy etiquette? Don’t Oversee Getting It On I’m not into pups, human or otherwise, but I live with two actual dogs and, man, if those dogs could talk. Some dogs loudly object to their owners [effing], others don’t. If your dog barks when you’re [effing], I can see why you’d want to keep him out of the room. But if he just wants to curl up in a corner and lick his ass for a minute before dozing off, what’s the big deal? I am a 30-year-old woman with some sexual hang-ups I’d like to get past for the sake of my husband. When I was 14, I was in a relationship with a guy who wasn’t nice to me. One particular incident sticks in my mind: He pulled my hair and tried to force my head down while I was saying no and trying to get away. He shoved me and called me a prude. Another time, he convinced me to let him go down on me (I finally agreed) but then bit me. I eventually broke up with him after spending too much time putting up with the crap. For a long time, I hated oral sex and freaked out at any sexual interaction. I had a great college boyfriend who always asked “Is this OK?” and was generally very attuned to any “no” signals I gave, which was a turn-on for me. I got

over my past crappy experiences. My husband is all about what gives us both pleasure, but he has always been up-front about being interested in some (tame) kinky stuff. I am still turned on by “Is this OK?” and eye contact during sex, but any time we try to do anything even a little off the wall – me tied up, blindfolds, etc. – my ears start ringing and I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m trying to find a way to spice things up and fulfill my husband’s desires, and I cannot find a way around it. How do we move past “just” vanilla? Reconsidering Otherwise Unlikely GGG Habits If your shitty early teenage sexual experiences – if those violations and sexual assaults – are still affecting you 16 years later, ROUGH, that suggests PTSD. Getting past this will be gradual, it may require therapy – counseling, a support group, a shrink. While you’re getting help, ROUGH, you and your partner can explore some mild non-vanilla moves. Mindful breathing, like the kids are into these days, may help, and so will incorporating some soothing sensory input, e.g., soft lighting, calming music, scented something-or-other if you enjoy scented somethings. And whatever your husband is doing – whatever you two are doing together – he can and should ask “Is this OK?” at every step. It turns you on and it makes you feel safe. You need to feel safe and in control. Slowly, slowly, slowly you may be able to advance to more aggressive play. It’s possible, however, that rough sex might be permanently off the table for you, ROUGH, and that’s not something you should feel guilty about. There are other ways to spice up your sex life, other (tame) kinks that don’t trigger you. Dan Savage is a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist writing for The Stranger in Seattle. Contact him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter and listen to his podcast every week at savagelovecast.com.

18 | Thursday, May 11, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening] Weekend picks in and near Durango Get lost in a magical garden The devastatingly fabulous Merely Players bring the beloved young adult novel “The Secret Garden” to the Durango Arts Center stage (802 East Second Ave.). The musical tells the tale of a brat-ass kid sent to live with an unkind uncle. Young Mary is forced to grow the hell up after she finds a mysterious new friend and the hard beauty of the world. It’s the last weekend of the show, but you can still catch scattered tickets for early (1 p.m.) and evening (7 p.m.) showings on May 11, 12, and 13. $25. Details at www.durangoconcerts.com

Have a dyn-O-mite dance night Put on your platform boots and gold fringe vest and dance under a disco ball at the Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr., on Saturday, May 13. Wear a costume and get drink specials, along with far-out prizes for best boogie during the dance-off and best costume. $5 or $10 VIP upstairs access. Doors at 8:30 p.m. music starts at 9. 21 and over.

Run, don’t walk, to see The Crags

Thursday The Mimbres, “Dimples, Slip-Slop

and Clapboard: What They Are and What They Mean,” noon, Center of Southwest Studies, Fort Lewis College, 1000 Rim Drive, 247-7456.

High Noon Rotary Club meeting with guest speaker Doug Miller and Ashley Hein, noon,

“Constant State of Change” with Stephen Day and Ray Tracey, all-day event, Sorrel Sky Gal-

History and Heritage Tour, all-

DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, www.durangohighnoonrotary.com. Trails 2000 Project Sky Steps,

4 p.m., Nature Trail, 978 East Sixth Ave., 259-4682. Father-daughter shopping night, 5 p.m., Animas Trading Co.,

1015 Main Ave., 385-4526. Suicide Prevention Community Summit, 5 p.m., Miller Middle

School, 2608 Junction St., 247-1418. Needham Neighborhood meeting, 5 p.m., Needham Elemen-

tary School, 2425 West Third Ave., 247-4791. Ska-BQ with music by The Assortment, 5 p.m., Ska Brewing Co.,

225 Girard St., 247-5792. Lacey Black, 5-9 p.m., Durango

Brewing Co., 3000 Main Ave., 2473396. La Plata Quilters Guild meeting, 5:30 p.m. First United Methodist

p.m., $15, Durango High School, 2390 Main Ave., 259-1630.

This all-ages event is free, unless you buy a book (and you should!). The shindig starts at 5 p.m. at Maria’s Bookshop, 960 Main Ave.

Booze it up and talk books Head to Animas Brewing Co., 1560 East Second Ave, on Monday, May 15 for Books and Brews, hosted by the Durango Public Library. Nerd out with other booklovers over a brewski, then at 7 p.m. bookaddict attendees will be invited to talk about the books they’ve been reading lately. You’re bound to leave with new reading pals and book titles to add to your to-read list. 21 and over. Free. Information: www.durangopubliclibrary.org

Monday

Saturday

21 and over.

The fastest boat ride down the Colorado River ever happened in 1983 after massive flooding. Kevin Fedarko will read from “The Emerald Mile,” a nonfiction account of the legendary, crazy-dangerous, Grand Canyon ride, on Saturday, May 13.

go Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

Pete Giuliani, 4-8 p.m., Balcony Bar and Grill, 600 Main Ave, 422-8008.

“Constant State of Change” with Stephen Day and Ray Tracey, all-day event, Sorrel Sky Gal-

Church, 2917 Aspen Drive, 799-1632.

Outdoor adventure via Maria’s Bookshop

Merely Players presents “The Secret Garden,” 7 p.m., $25, Duran-

Wines of the San Juan, 233 Highway 511, Blanco, N.M., (505) 632-0879.

Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio, 259-9234.

Shred Day, noon, Powerhouse

Hey all you moondoggies and boppin’ babes, tear it up at The Crags show this Saturday, May 13, at Balcony Backstage, 600 Main Ave. Be-bop-a-lula it there by 9:30 p.m. for rockabilly surf tunes that will get a whole lotta shakin’ going on. Information: www.balconybarandgrill.com

Divorce Care Group, 6 p.m., $25, First United Methodist Church, 2917 Aspen Drive, 247-4213.

The Electoral College: Past,

Present and Future, 5:30 p.m., Noble Hall, Room 125, Fort Lewis College, 1000 Rim Drive, www.fortlewis.edu. “A Streetcar Named Desire,” 7

Merely Players presents “The Secret Garden,” 7 p.m., $25, Duran-

go Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606. The Razing Arizona Comedy Tour, 8 p.m., $5, Cerda 7 Cantina y Co-

mida, 639 Main Ave, 764-4723.

Friday “Constant State of Change” with Stephen Day and Ray Tracey, all-day event, Sorrel Sky Gal-

lery, 828 Main Ave., 247-3555. Andy Janowsky, 7-11 p.m., The

Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 2474431.

lery, 828 Main Ave., 247-3555.

day event, $198-$285, Mild to Wild, 50 Animas View Drive, 247-4789.

Durango Farmers Market, 8

Four Corners Arts Forum, 9

a.m.-noon, First National Bank of Durango, 259 W. Ninth St., www.durangofarmersmarket.com. Nissan Leaf Ride and Drive,

9 a.m., Sky Ute Casino Resort, 14324 Highway 172, 563-7777. Bold Bouquets for Mother’s Day, 10 a.m., $40-$50, Durango

Nursery and Supply, 271 Kaycee Lane, 259-8800. Met Opera in HD:“Der Rosenkavalier,” 10:30 a.m., $20-$23,

Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30-6:30 p.m.,

Ska Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., www. skabrewing.com. Joel Racheff, 5:30-10 p.m., Dia-

mond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Henry Stoy piano, 10 a.m.-1 p.m.,

Tuesday

Jean-Pierre Bakery, 601 Main Ave., 3850122.

Bean, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200, www. thebean.com.

Merely Players presents “The Secret Garden,” 1 p.m. and 7 p.m.,

“Constant State of Change” with Stephen Day and Ray Tracey, all-day event, Sorrel Sky Gal-

$25, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

Master’s Men Colorado, 6:30

Moms Demand Action startup meeting, 1:30 p.m., Durango Public

a.m., DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, 259-6580.

Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 3753380. The Assortment, 5 p.m., Balcony

Piedra Double Box, 9 a.m., $255, Mild to Wild, 50 Animas View Drive, 247-4789.

Bar and Grill, 600 Main Ave, 422-8008.

Tuesday jam, 6 p.m., Steaming Bean,

Dinner and Sinatra Show Mother’s Day weekend special, 5 p.m., $20-$52, Henry Strater

Useless Knowledge Bowl Trivia+, 7 p.m., Durango Brewing Co., 3000

lery, 828 Main Ave., 247-3555.

900 Main Ave., 403-1200.

Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

Main Ave., 247-3396.

Sunday

Wednesday

Mother’s Day Train, all-day event,

“Constant State of Change” with Stephen Day and Ray Tracey, all-day event, Sorrel Sky Gal-

$89-$199, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad Depot, 479 Main Ave., 247-2733. “Constant State of Change” with Stephen Day and Ray Tracey, all-day event, Sorrel Sky Gal-

lery, 828 Main Ave., 247-3555. Mother’s Day Brunch, 9:30 a.m.,

$15-$37, Mahogany Grille, 699 Main Ave., 247-4433. Henry Stoy piano, 10 a.m.-1 p.m.,

1027 Main Ave., 263-1279.

Mother’s Day Art for Advocacy fundraising event, noon, $35, Fox

Free evaluations, 9 a.m., Absolute

People’s Practice in the Park,

12:30 p.m., Buckley Park, 247-8395, www.turtlelakerefuge.org.

Spoken Word, 7-9 p.m., Steaming

Jean-Pierre Bakery, 601 Main Ave., 3850122.

Needham Elementary School, 2425 West Third Ave., 247-4791.

a.m., KDUR 91.9/93.9 FM, www.kdur. org.

Vallecito Room, Student Union, Fort Lewis College, 1000 Rim Drive, www. fortlewis.edu.

“You Should Be Having Fun” by Tim Kapustka, 5 p.m., Studio &, Needham “Bike Rodeo and Walk-n-Roll” parade, 8 a.m.,

lery, 828 Main Ave., 247-3555.

Fire Farms, 5513 County Road 321, 563-4675. Merely Players presents “The Secret Garden,” 1 p.m., $25, Duran-

Physical Therapy and Wellness, 277 East Eighth Ave., 764-4094.

go Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

The Assortment Trio, 5 p.m., Macho’s, 1485 Florida Road, 422-8540.

Mother’s Day Spring Fling with The Assortment, noon-5 p.m.,

lery, 828 Main Ave., 247-3555. Trails 2000 Project Sky Steps,

4 p.m., Nature Trail, 978 East Sixth Ave., 259-4682. Bear Dance demonstration,

5:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380. Acoustic jam, 6-8 p.m., Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200, www. theirishembassypub.com.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www.dgomag. com, visit www.swscene.com, click

“Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form, and submit. Listings at www.swscene.com will appear on www. dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www.swscene. com is free and takes one day to process.

�� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 19

$2.00 OFF CLASSES $10.00.

DEALS

WITH COUPON!

Expiration Date: 05/31/2017

Must present coupon at time of class. Not valid with any other offer.

FREE Salsa Class Wednesday 8-9

Breakdance Class Monday 7-8 pm @ The Dance Spot

Hip Hop Class Thursdays 5 PM @ The Dance Spot

w/ Cheo, The Dance Patrol 2980 North Main Avenue | thedancespotdgo.com

Bachata Thursdays 6pm @ The Dance Spot

Friday Salsa & Zumba Dance Lessons Kids Salsa 4pm Adult Zumba 6:30pm @ The Dance Spot

Private Lessons and Studio Space to Rent Available (970)-903-5799

256856

20% OFF

ALL

NOW THROUGH MAY 31ST

FarmingtOn: 1001 W. Broadway | (505) 326-3393

We’re worth the trip!

WWW.amEriCanHOmE.COm 251932

70 .76

15% Off 9

D G O

*See store for details.

4 .4 ain 477 501B M

AnimasUnderground.com

Any Accessory including Crosley Turntables. Expiration Date: 05/31/2017

Must present or mention this coupon at time of purchase. Not Valid with any other offer.

Expiration Date: 05/31/2017

250265 250265

Put down the scissors!

Print, Text & Share all the great deals online from your PC or smartphone.

DurangoCOUPONS.com To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504

20 | Thursday, May 11, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

SPRING SERVICE SPECIALS! OPEN SATURDAYS FOR FULL SERVICE 8AM-5PM Any Make/Any Model (970) 259-3940 • 20704 Highway 160 West Durango

ONLY ONE COUPON PER VISIT. MUST BE PRESENT AT TIME OF WRITE UP. EXCLUDES TAX AND SHOP SUPPLIES. UP TO 6 QTS SYNTHETIC BLEND CONVENTIONAL MOTOR OIL. INCLUDES OIL, FILTER & LABOR. EXCLUDES DIESELS. SEE DEALER FOR DETAILS. CANNOT BE COMBINED WITH OTHER OFFERS. EXPIRES 05/31/17

SAVE ON A/C SERVICE

15%OFF ONLY ONE COUPON PER VISIT. MUST BE PRESENT AT TIME OF WRITE UP. EXCLUDES TAX AND SHOP SUPPLIES. SEE DEALER FOR DETAILS. CANNOT BE COMBINED WITH OTHER OFFERS. EXPIRES 5/31/17

256935

Buy 1ST room, get 2ND room cleaned for

(970) 564-0800

swcare.com Expiration Date: 05/31/2017 *Minimum charges applies. Must present coupon at time of purchase. Not valid with any other offer.

Cliffrose

GARDEN CENTER & GIFTS Cliffrose 27885 Highway 160 Cortez, CO

Cliffrose on Market 101 N. Market Cortez, CO

970.565.8994 970.565.2099 cliffrosegardens.com

256992

$10

Expiration Date: 05/31/17 Must present coupon at time of purchase. Not valid with any other offer.

*Limit three with each coupon

A HANGING, BLOOMING BASKET

.00

*Limit three with each coupon

FRUIT TREES

256955

RICHLAND RICHLAND LANDSCAPING LANDSCAPING All Phases of Landscaping & Design Sprinkler Installation • Flagstone Patios • Cedar Fencing • Veteran & Senior Discounts • •

40 years experience! Free Estimates & Design 970-749-4288

20%OFF

ALL LANDSCAPING SERVICES ALL PROJECTS UNDER $499

DEALS

TWO LOCATIONS

.00

D G O

LUBE, OIL & FILTER

10%OFF

ALL PROJECTS OVER $500 RECEIVE 10% Expiration Date: 5/31/17

To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 �� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 21

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Communicating with others, especially with siblings and relatives, is difficult this week because you’re not sure what you should say. When in doubt, say nothing. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) This is a poor week to make important financial decisions because your information might not be correct. It’s possible that someone is deceiving you. Be careful. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You feel tired and lethargic this week. Don’t worry because we all have weeks like this. Don’t be hard on yourself or judgmental of others. CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

Something going on behind the scenes worries you this week. The strange thing is that you might not even know

what it is. A lot of people feel this way. No worries. LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) You will find it difficult to assert yourself in a group situation this week. Don’t worry about this. It’s probably best to sit back and see which way the wind blows. Play it safe. VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) This is not a good week to be aggressive when dealing with bosses, parents and VIPs. There’s too much confusion. Plus, at heart, you do not feel fully confident. Sit this one out. LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) Don’t get ensnared in arguments about religion and politics this week because people are genuinely confused. You might not be sure how to respond or what to endorse. Take it easy. SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

Disputes about shared property, inheritances and anything that you own jointly with others will be confusing this week. You won’t properly defend your best interests. Avoid these discussions. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Discussions with friends and partners are discouraging this week. That’s because you feel like you don’t know what’s really going on. Don’t worry – you are not alone. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Do not throw your weight around at work this week – there’s too much confusion, and people are unsure of what to do and how to do it. Sit back and go with the flow. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) This is a classic week for confusion

when dealing with romantic partners. Remember: Unexpressed expectations almost always lead to disappointment. PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) Be patient with and tolerant of family members this week because misunderstandings will be rife. You might feel let down by others. It’s very likely that they feel the same way. BORN THIS WEEK You are persevering and faithful. You also are proud. You give important decisions much careful thought. Although you are impulsive, you are firm in your ideas – oh my! This year will be one of the most powerful years of your life – a time of accumulation! Whatever you have done in the past will now ripen. (2017 also is a good year to buy and sell.) © 2017 King Features Syndicate Inc.

weekly bestsellers April 30 - May 6 »»The Twelve, by Justin Cronin (Paperback) »»The Passage, by Justin Cronin (Paperback) »»The Emerald Mile, by Kevin Fedarko (Paperback) »»You Are a Badass at Making Money, by Jen Sincero (Hardcover) »»The Metabolic Approach to Cancer: Integrating Deep Nutrition, the Ketogenic Diet, and Nontoxic Bio-Individualized Therapies, by Dr. Nasha Winters & Jess Higgins Kelley, MNT (Hardcover) »»Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI, by David Grann (Hardcover)

»»The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood (Paperback) »»The City of Mirrors, by Justin Cronin (Hardcover) »»The Summer Guest, by Justin Cronin (Paperback) »»Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, by Neil Degrasse Tyson (Hardcover)

22 | Thursday, May 11, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[Durango’s stories, told in their own words]

First Person | Cyle Talley

‘... BY THE NEXT MONDAY,

SHE HAD DIED BEFORE HEARING THE RESULTS’ »» Allee McKown, on the friend she recently lost to cancer and the systems that failed her Allee McKown’s eyes nearly disappear when she smiles – and she does so often as she remembers her long-time friend – Myra, a Nicaraguan mother of two who recently died of breast cancer. Allee approached me about telling her friend’s story, saying, “I think there’re only nine pictures of her in the whole world, and I have all of them. I want to be able to show her family something that says that Myra had an effect on the world.” I tell that story here, in her own words.

yra’d had a mastectomy. She stuffed her shirt because she was self-conscious about it, and wore a head scarf once she started chemo. It was a shit show to get the treatments. She would ride the public buses for four hours to the capital every eight days, and she’d have to ride back on the crowded buses having just gotten out of chemo. It’s worth saying that the buses in Nicaragua are crowded. Everyone is standing, and you don’t have to hold on to anything because you’re butt to butt. You’re packed. And so imagine how hot and miserable it is in general, and then think about this woman who just came out of a chemo treatment. She was doing pretty good though, and the last time I visited, she’d gotten through her chemo and everyone was happy. She didn’t even give me the usual big ordeal farewell where she would say, “If

God is willing that we see each other again!” because everything was looking up. Then, in mid-March, I called to check in with her, and her family told McKown me that she couldn’t walk – that her legs just stopped working. What they think happened is that she got tumors on her spine, but they couldn’t afford an MRI so they didn’t know for sure. So, I wired them some money for one on a Friday, they got the MRI on that Monday, and then by the next Monday, she had died before hearing the results. She was the worldly adventurer of her family. She had gone to work in the big city; she wasn’t married, but she lived with the father of her

Courtesy of Allee McKown

»» Myra children, which is very adventurous and forward-thinking, especially in her culture. She didn’t practice evangelical Christianity or Catholicism, but she was very Christian. What I loved best about her is how she would always joke around, and how open and honest she was. She would tell me stories that shocked me – like, “Whoa, wait. Have you ever told anyone this story before?!” all while we cooked casually in the kitchen. I think she was sort of mothering me in a way where she didn’t have to be mothering. She was more like an aunt. Less judgment. Moms don’t tell you how much trouble they used to get in, but aunts do. Myra always wanted to teach me things, and I’ll miss learning them. I know it’s a cliche, but I don’t think that I ever heard her say a bad word about anyone. She didn’t gossip. She was the poorest person in her family, but she was the one who would host the neglecteds – you know, like the poor old man of the town would come over to chat and she would give him candy and rice. Her optimism and her faith in God were blinding. She couldn’t walk, and she had no idea what the results of her MRI were going to be, but she sloughed it off and said, “Oh, God

will take care of me. The MRI will say that everything is fine, and I’ll be able to walk, and be healthy again.” I remember wanting to be angry at her, to say, “No! Not true!” When I told her that I’m an atheist, she said, “No, not possible,” and shook her head at me, and then she told me that she was an atheist because she didn’t go to church, and I said, “But you believe in God!” And she said, “Well, everyone believes in God!” When I told her that I don’t, her response was, “But – you have to!” I called her 10 days before she died, and she was adamant that God would take care of her and that the MRI would come back fine. Her family told me the other day, “We just have to accept that this is God’s will.” I want to just flip out on them, “No, you don’t! The medical system failed you! It is NOT God’s plan to take the mother of two young children!” During the last two days of her life, she was in and out of the hospital, and I’m told that, as she was getting in the ambulance for the last time, she looked at her brother and said, “If anything happens to me, tell my mom that I love her.” She died while her brother, who was with her, was out to the pharmacy to get her some medicine. And, if that wasn’t enough, her mother and family weren’t able to make it to her funeral because, as they were leaving to go, her mother fainted, and the family stayed with her while Myra’s service was happening. Thinking about their house empty is hard. She was always there, and it was a big, happy place. SO happy, all the time. I’ve been thinking about the importance of creating a family, and looking out for each other, and being generous. She lived as long as she did because of the generosity of her family, and they all said, “Well, she took care of us when we were little.” I have a small family. It’s just me and my parents, and sometimes I’m a jerk to them. So I’m thinking about how I can be better to the people that I love, and also missing my friend. Cyle Talley had to cut the part about Myra calling Trump an “ugly, horrible man.” If you’d like to contact him or tell your own story, email him at cyle@cyletalley.com.

�� Thursday, May 11, 2017 | 23

257763