The Train, A Look Behind the Scenes

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art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, June 1, 2017

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THE TRAIN A LOOK BEHIND THE SCENES Secrets of the train yard, a portrait of the chief conductor, and a view of the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad few get to see

Also: Quitting “Twin Peaks,” Stringdusters’ Jeremy Garrett, WTF is a lambic?, and the conclusion to the lost dog of Canyonlands

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Donald Trump is ...

CHILD LECTURER!

A new video series about what happens when you take Donald Trump’s exact words and make him sound like a child, set in a world of stop-motion animation.

DGO Watch at dgomag.com/videos 2 | Thursday, June 1, 2017  •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••


DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 2 Number 32

June 1, 2017

Chief Executive Officer

16 Cash relief for the cannabis industry?

Douglas Bennett V.P. of Finance and Operations

Under federal law, cannabis is still illegal, so banks and other financial institutions are wary of working with any legal cannabis business under threat of federal prosecution. Relief might be on the way.

Bob Ganley V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis Founding Editors David Holub Editor/ creative director dholub@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Courtesy of Ryan Brungard

Staff writer Patty Templeton

Katie Cahill

6

When side projects are the main event The Infamous Stringdusters’ Jeremy Garrett, and Leftover Salmon’s Drew Emmitt, Greg Garrison, and Alwyn Robinson, are all capable of hitting the stage with colleagues to explore songs and sounds outside those made with their respected, full-time bands.

Katie Clancy Christopher Gallagher Alexi Grojean Meggie J Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch Cooper Stapleton Cyle Talley Robert Alan Wendeborn Advertising 247-3504 Reader Services 375-4570

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

4

Love it or Hate it

5

Vintage Durango

6

Sound

Downtown Lowdown

8

17 Watch those babies grow in the know

David Holub

Contributors

From the Editor

6

Album Reviews 7

Amy Maestas

ptempleton@bcimedia.com

4

8

WTF a lambic is and why it matters With AB-Inbev buying sour-heavy Wicked Weed, there’s a very strong signal from the top of the beer world that sour beer is the next big thing. But the sour beer world in the United States is very young.

Tell us what you think! Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

Beer

16 Weed

We offer a few suggestions of things to look out for as you work your way through the process of growing your own lovelies and some possibilities of what you might be able to do with the fruits of your labor. 23 ‘Are you sure it’s her?!’ The conclusion to Ryan Brungard’s quest for his dog, Hope (pictured above), lost in Canyonlands National Park.

/dgomag

Elevated Discourse

16

Review

16

Seeing Through the Smoke 17

18 Savage Love 19 Happening 20 DGO Deals 22 Horoscope/ puzzles 22 Pages 23 First Person

/dgomag @dgo_mag

ON THE COVER A view of the front of the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, parked in Silverton on a recent Wednesday. Photo by Patty Templeton/DGO

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

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@dg

dg


[CTRL-A]

[ love it or hate it ]

David Holub |DGO editor

I bailed on ‘Twin Peaks.’ Is that OK?

O

K, I’m two episodes in to the new “Twin Peaks,” two episodes of bendy zig-zag floors in maze-like red-curtained rooms, video-taped demon cages, Kyle MacLachlan in bronzer, stilted Lynchian dialogue, weird tree things, and too many wait-was-that-white-horse-important moments and I have liberated myself enough to say: I’m so over this. And then my David Lynch guilt starts creeping in: I should like this. It’s weird. It’s surreal. It requires delayed gratification and narrative stamina. It’s David Holy Hail Lynch! And after begging the Gods of Obtuseness for forgiveness, I reiterate: I’m out. There are just too many questions, key questions, like: What is going on? Is anything supposed to be going on? Am I an unsophisticated idiot? Why do those characters use each other’s names so much? Is the backward language thing vitally important or a red herring? Is David Lynch just messing with us? I needed more input and enlisted the help of one of the few people I know who not only watches “Twin Peaks” but likes it, my friend and colleague, Durango Herald Arts and Entertainment Editor Katie Cahill, who’s gone as far as participating in viewing parties. “You just have to be paaaatieeeent. It’s about patience and maybe we don’t have that anymore,” she said, reminiscing on her time as an 18-year-old watching the original series. “It’s almost like being harassed. You don’t know where the scenes are going. You don’t know where it fits in with the bigger picture.” With that, I kept thinking to Vince Gilligan’s writing, arguably the best TV has seen in a generation with “Breaking Bad” and “Better Call Saul.” While Gilligan likes to start with a mysterious, jostling, out-of-context grabber at the start of an episode, to put it simply, he manages to pull the audience along skillfully with a mastery of plot, movement, and show arcs, always somewhat resolving the thread by the end of each episode and propelling the story forward with a binge-yearning cliffhanger. Lynch – I guess – requires more of us. As hard as I tried to lay out what I believed was the plot to the new “Twin Peaks,” my recounting to Katie ended up being a collection of descriptions of events that had taken place. But any semblance of a thread tying these things together was out of my grasp, ultimately confirming that I had pretty much no idea what has been going on.

“And that’s kind of the fun of it, though,” she said, saying shows like this are fun to let wash over you after watching. “You chew on it later. You chew on it in the shower. You chew on it in the car. You chew on it before you fall asleep.” Perhaps my problem is wanting something Lynch isn’t attempting to create: a plot-driven, linear, mainstream drama. Perhaps, as one could expect from Lynch, the “Twin Peaks” experience is meant to be, in part, interpretive, the intense visuals and surreal style as much narrative poems as anything else. At times, I feel like the series is one of those math problems where they pile on extra information to confuse you to see if you really know how to solve the equation, wondering if the guy walking through the woods with a flashlight is important or merely thrown in for Lynchian giggles. Katie posited that that might be because of Lynch’s obtuse, auteur reputation. “You’re not going to watch it the same way you’d watch ‘The Bachelor,’” she said. We go in assuming “his stuff’s got to be hard. This has got to be tough and pretentious. Do you feel weird if you don’t get David Lynch? But then, can you really get David Lynch? Or is there nothing more to get than a cool story?” And that’s my problem. When watching something like “Twin Peaks,” I find myself wondering if this is just a big practical joke in which David Lynch got to make a show about a dream he had once. And then I loop back, feeling dumb, feeling like a “Bachelor”-watching Philistine, unable to grasp the work of a great artist. Perhaps time has simply passed David Lynch by, where we as a culture have lost the ability to appreciate his snail’s-pace storytelling. In the decades since the original, we have been slowly conditioned for binge-inducing, fast-paced storytelling in terms of cuts and scene-length, story arcs, and cliffhangers. As Katie noted with her Lynchian Theory of Required Rumination, Lynch seems to be the anti-binge. “So maybe we all need to cool our tits and indulge in it a little bit,” Katie said. “It’s like reading a big, long book in book form now. It’s hard to do.” Ultimately, while I believe “Twin Peaks” is Lynch being Lynch, I don’t think the show is a practical joke. There will be a graspable plot. There will be payoffs. The stuff in the first two episodes will work into later episodes. It will be weird and twisty and mildly fulfilling in the end. But this is 2017. Who has the time to find out?

Tourist traps Love it OMG gawd. Get me in a car, turn on the radio, give me a fizzy drink, and let’s go. We have all of the world to see, including its tourist traps. I freakin’ love tourist traps – especially cheap ones. If you’re counting rich-ass places like Disney World, eh, not so much. If we’re talking roadside wonders, tombstone tourism, and small historical towns with peculiar gift shops attached to gas stations, buckle up, buttercup, we’re going. I’m the person willing to drive 30 extra miles to snap a pic on an oversized, saddled jackrabbit statue even though it looks like the defunct gas station behind it has turned into a meth shed. It ain’t unusual for me to go an hour outta the way because I saw a billboard for homemade caramel puffed corn sold from a shack by a man in a beaver costume, once again, by a gas station. Theme: American gas stations contain or lead you to obscure wonders. I don’t know where I get this from. Maybe my ma. She’s a wild woman with a big heart. She’s the one who taught me to dance like no one was watching, even to a good song at the end of movie credits. She’s also the one who gave me my wanderlust. We once went to Oatman, Arizona, together – because we wanted to hang with the donkeys that overrun the ghost town. The weather’s gorgeous. I dunno about you, but I’m fittin’ to fill up my car and go find hidden America. —— Patty Templeton

Hate it Sometime mid-elementary school, let’s say third grade, I recall riding through the middle of dusty Texas forgottenness when the family Suburban passed an allbut empty tourist trap – some sort of market with large plaster animal statues out front. One image nestled into my young brain as we whizzed by: A donkey standing in the summer sun tied to a small merry-go-round, apparently waiting for a family to drive by with a hankerin’ for a heartbreaking donkey ride. I still haven’t shaken the image of that donkey 30 years later. This gets to the heart of why I hate tourist traps beyond the ones that exploit animals: They just make me feel bad. The badly-taxidermied cross-eyed coyote. The aging toy railroad at the North Pole Christmas yearround place. Weird military relics in what amounts to some guy’s garage. Questionable scientific oddities, the sight of which ruins your afternoon. On any kind of trip, where one usually encounters tourist traps, I’d rather not feel bad, for the people running them and the people who part with their money and are, I can only assume, embarrassingly disappointed at what’s beyond the curtain. —— David Holub

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[Vintage Durango]

»»  Mann Theatre advertisement for “The Deer Hunter” and “The Great Train Robbery,” in the May 29, 1979 Durango Herald.

‘Deerhunter’ meets Bond World, do you remember Sean Connery? He’s a retired Scottish actor who, before he gave it all up, was the swingingest James Bond ever, Indiana Jones’ dad, a jaunty immortal in “Highlander,” King Agamemnon in Terry Gilliam’s cult classic “Time Bandits,” a red speedoed sci-fi hero in “Zardoz,” and – AND – a Victorian-era master thief on a steam engine in, you guessed it, “The Great Train Robbery.” Which apparently, in 1979 Durango, you could’ve seen after you got out of a showing of “The Deer Hunter.” Nothing says super fun before a classy train robbery than a brooding, Robert De Niro war drama. Bonus fact: “The Great Train Robbery” was based on Michael Crichton’s book. He also created “Jurassic Park,” the TV show “E.R.,” and “Westworld.” —— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

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[democracy]

[sound]

Merkel versus Trump »» German

chancellor doesn’t trust U.S. president FROM THE FILES OF

News you need to know

German Chancellor Angela Merkel believes NOT the recent NORMAL G7 Summit was unsatisfactory and that, “The era in which we could fully rely on others is over to some extent,” Merkel said on Sunday. In other words, Merkel believes that the U.S. now sucks as an ally.

Why this is not normal First off, the G7 Summit is the gathering of Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the United Kingdom, and the U.S. For two days, world leaders try to make an accord on issues ranging from climate change to the international economy. After the G7 Summit, Merkel made it clear that the U.S. was the only holdout on the Paris Agreement to reduce greenhouse gases by 2020. Additionally, she stated an uncertainty in America’s ability to be an ally to Germany due to President Trump’s erratic policy and behavior. Germany and the U.S. became allies during the Cold War. After more than 50 years of friendship, a top-five superpower has called out the United States as unreliable. Trump’s dedication to “Make America Great Again [for the 1 percent]” and tendency toward near-jingoism is alienating the United States from other global powers. —— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

This time, Leftover Salmon and Stringdusters’ side projects are the main attraction

M

oonlighting and an open relationship are two things that come along with the life of a newgrass musician. There’s the encouragement to get out there and experiment with some other like-minded musicians, the kind of musicians you could have a fun romp with but don’t want to make a full-time thing. Perhaps if that romp results in a pleasing musical racket, you take it a step further: write some songs, get in the studio and record, and do some short tours. As long as the full-time partners, the ones you want to have a long-term relationship with, approve, and the extra-curricular work doesn’t get »»  Jeremy Garrett in the way of your full-time job, you should be good to go. The Infamous Stringdusters’ Jeremy Garrett, and Leftover Salmon’s Drew Emmitt, Greg Garrison, and Alwyn Robinson are no strangers to that lifestyle, all capable of hitting the stage with colleagues to explore songs and sounds outside of the songs and sounds made with their respected, full-time bands. Garrett, Emmitt, Garrison, and Robinson will perform at the Animas City Theatre on Saturday, June 3. It’s a quartet of virtuosos; the rhythm section of bass player Garrison and drummer Robinson are a versatile duo, capable of holding down stretches of new-grass and improvisation. Both Emmitt and Garrett are multi-instrumentalists, with a catalog of originals and a knowledge of bluegrass and rock ’n’ roll. Their paths have crossed multiple times in the festival world, and their full-time bands are willing and able to play right up to an edge that often results in musical curveballs and blind leaps that result in sonic satisfaction. This tour was born from Garrett’s “Fiddle Science Project,” a band that features the rhythm section of Garrison and Robinson, where Garrett explores playing the fiddle as an electric instrument, a Jean-Luc Ponty-inspired dose of fusion via new-grass music. Emmitt is a pickin’ pal and along for the ride. New for Garrett is playing with this kind of rhythm section. “I feel like those guys are the best rhythm section in the music business. I’ll be doing some singing, but to have drums and electric bass, that’ll be a first for me as far as me

Courtesy of www.garrettgrass.com

GO! Saturday: Newgrass with Drew Emmitt, Jeremy Garrett, Greg Garrison, Alwyn Robinson. 9 p.m. $25. Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. Information: 799-2281. trying to play and sing with that,” said Garrett. “It’s something I’m super excited about. I’ve played music with those guys over the years; it’s not the first time we’ve played together, it’s more like we’ve had this friendship and this music vibe happening; now here is some new stuff to throw into the mix. It’ll be fun to see what it turns out to be.” The Infamous Stringdusters remain consistent in their studio output and touring; Leftover Salmon was just in Tucson recording their next record. As busy as these guys are with their bands, it’s the side projects that provide inspiration. “It’s fun to branch out and it’s fun to play songs in a different context,” said Emmitt. “It’s always refreshing, as much as I love playing with Salmon, it’s always fun to do other things.” “I always want to play with some of the best musicians I can at all times. I want to put together the best band that I can and try to play the very best music that I can,” said Garrett. “I love it, it’s my passion, it’s my work, I love the Stringdusters, we’re not going anywhere, but this side stuff is very fun for me to pursue.” Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

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[sound] What’s new Kevin Morby,“City Music” Available: Friday, June 16, via Dead Oceans as a download, CD, and LP. Pre-order directly from the label to receive “a limited-edition pamphlet – A Guide To The Cities That Inspired City Music. This delightful folded print evokes vintage city guides and highlights the places central to Morby’s songwriting.” On April 25, 2016, Kevin Morby (The Babies front-person and former Woods bassist) released his Dead Oceans debut, “Singing Saw,” to widespread critical acclaim. “City Music,” released just a little over a year later, in his own words, “is a mix-tape, a fever dream, a love letter dedicated to those cities that I cannot get rid of, to those cities that are all inside of

June 2 Dan Auerbach,“Waiting on a Song”

Flogging Molly,“Life is Good” Finally back after what seems like a lifetime (but has only been six years), Irish-American folk punk legends Flogging Molly are set to release their sixth studio album. A tribute to the times we live in, “Life is Good” highlights the highs and lows of existence, often through the magic of telling stories as only Flogging Molly can. Tracks like “Reptiles (We Woke Up)” act as a metaphorical rallying cry, a fairly somber (for Flogging

— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

Molly, at least) track about protest, while tracks like “The Hand of John L Sullivan” fit their quota for historical goofball tracks (and also introduce new generations to one of the world’s greatest mustaches). The group isn’t really breaking from their established mold on any of the tracks here, but there is a lot to love on “Life is Good,” and sometimes the world needs happy Irish drinking music.

then again when they got together on stage for a version of “Purple Rain” with the main man from Baroness, John Dyer Baizley (one of my artistic heroes). Only then did I realize they had a new album coming out. And man does it rage. Bringing in bassist Nick Cageao fills out the low end perfectly, turning the three-piece into a stoner rock tour de force. “Kiss of Death” is

Roger Waters,“Is This The Life We Really Wanted?”

NEW

No longer content to continue touring and playing “The Wall” over and over again, Waters has returned with his fourth solo studio album, and first record in over 25 years! So far, it sounds about what you would expect from the Pink Floyd co-founder. “Smell the Roses,” one of the first singles, has a very traditional intro before melting away into the avant garde atmospheric weirdness that got me to love Pink Floyd. It struck me as very reminiscent of something like “Set Your Controls for the Heart of the Sun,” which is a very good thing. I think that is where songwriters like Waters shine, when they go completely unhinged: Regular boring song structures between the weirdness don’t do much for me. From what I have heard, this record is a winner, but only time will tell if it was worth the 25-year wait. Mutoid Man,“War Moans” Composed of two of the bigger names in the modern hardcore scene, Ben Koller of Converge and David Brodsky of Cave In, Mutoid Man is the outlet for their more mainstream rock-type tunes. I first got into Mutoid Man with their first record, “Helium Head,” and

HOURS

immediately catchy and also horrifyingly heavy, and a good indicator of what to expect throughout the record. While some people like light and airy for the summer, this is the perfect summer record for me: Loud, in your face, and catchy enough to shout the lyrics with your friends while standing in line for a hotdog at 2 in the morning. —— Cooper Stapleton

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For people not immersed in music and all that it encompasses, the role of producer is probably an empty word that just means “they helped.” But sometimes, the music world gets producers that are so influential on a record that you can tell within 30 seconds of hearing a song that they had a hand in it. Dan Auerbach is one such producer. Best known for his work with the Black Keys, Auerbach is an accomplished blues musician in his own right, and “Waiting on a Song” only goes to show just how much his sound has matured over the years. The title track would sit right alongside choice tracks from Paul Simon’s catalog, while tracks like “Shine On Me” sound like what Jack Johnson would do if he was a competent songwriter.

Recommended for those that would spin Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, James Jackson Toth/Wooden Wand, Kurt Vile or Tim Presley/ White Fence while on that long summer drive.

en

New at

those people and cities that have left an indelible mark. It should come as little surprise that this record is a perfect companion piece to the road trip, quintessentially indicative of summer.

me.” Beautifully realized with his Babies bandmates Megan Duffy (guitar) and Justin Sullivan (drums), the album was co-produced alongside multi-instrumentalist Richard Swift, a one-time member of The Shins, who is now playing with The Arcs in addition to touring as a member of The Black Keys. “City Music” is an homage to life spent on the road, a contemplation on the rigors of a grueling touring cycle filtered through a modern day bard, and an intensely sentimental offering to

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[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

WTF a lambic is and why it matters

W

ith AB-Inbev buying sour-heavy Wicked Weed, there’s a very strong signal from the top of the beer world that sour beer is the next big thing. But the sour beer world in the United States is very, very young when compared to craft beer as a whole, and to the sour beer making history of Belgium. When talking about sour beers, there are a lot of different categories that denote the quality, process, and price point of each particular brew. You’ve got kettled sours, mixed fermentations, spontaneous, and wild soured beers. A brewer can use any or multiples of these methods to achieve a sour beer. At the highest end, the superlative of sour beer is Belgian lambic, specifically gueuze. A lambic is any sour beer made in Belgium (the word “lambic” is more of a reference to an appellation or region than a process or style), but a gueuze is a traditionally-brewed lambic that is a blend of old and new beer that has aged in oaken vessels. That “traditionally-brewed” lambic involves a lot of steps, from the mash all the way to the finished product.

Lambic itself is also broken down into traditional and sweetened varieties. A traditional lambic lets the beer and any fruit additions speak for themselves, relying on the blending process to achieve its target flavor profile, whereas a sweetened lambic will use an unfermentable sweetener such as saccharine, or fruit concentrates or extracts. Knowing what is traditionally brewed and what is sweetened is pretty difficult because labeling the use of back sweetener is not always regulated. The traditionally-brewed lambic gueuze, the unadulterated, unmolested, pure style is first brewed using a turbid mash. A turbid mash uses a particular wheat-heavy grain bill and a much longer mashing process, which includes multiple temperature rests and extractions of un-vorlaufed – or turbid – wort

Alexi Grojean/ Special to DGO

Continued on Page 9

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[beer] From Page 8

that lasts up to four times as long as a typical production mash. The result is a wort that is much starchier and much more tannic than a typical production beer. There is also a much longer boil time and naturally cooled wort with the use of a koelschip and hopped by only using aged hops. It’s then transfered to ferment and age in oaken vessels. In short, it’s a lot more work than a typical beer. With the additional time in brewing, aging, and storing, it’s a much more time- and labor-intensive brew than the typical beer. So, what if an American brewery wanted to follow this process, would it still be a lambic? The answer is yes and no. It can’t be a lambic because that is an appellation like Champagne or Tequila; only beers made in Belgium can be lambics. So brewers in America that wish to brew the style are adopting “méthode gueuze” in the way American winemakers use “méthode champenoise.” Started by the Texas brewery Jester King, méthode gueuze is a trademark owned by the Sour and Wild Ale Guild, which will help to codify and regulate

breweries that make beer using the traditional gueuze processes, techniques, and ingredients. They have outlined the criteria for brewers on a Facebook page that states, in part: »» A grist consisting of only approximately 60 percent malted barley and 40 percent raw, unmalted wheat; »» One-hundred percent aged hops, aged at least 12 months, in the recipe added at the beginning of the boil; »» An extended boil of no less than three hours ; »» One-hundred percent spontaneous fermentation – no yeast, bacteria, or any other microorganisms pitched at any point in the process; »» The entire wort is fermented in neutral oak barrels and left to age on the lees; »» A blend of beer that meets all of the criteria listed above, composed of beer aged less than 18 months and beer older than 30 months, with the average age of the blend being at least 18 months; »» One-hundred percent natural re-fermentation. No artificial carbonation; »» Natural sugar is allowed for the purpose of dosing. Artificial sugars

are not allowed; »» No artificial flavoring or coloring; »» No pasteurization or additions of preservatives. So far, the use of the trademark is free and open and up to the brewer themselves to decide if they are truly making méthode gueuze. But the move is not without criticism: HORAL, the Belgian organization in charge of regulating Belgian lambic producers, has criticized the creation of the trademark, saying méthode gueuze shows “a lack of respect” for traditional lambic beer, which is the exact opposite of the intention of using méthode gueuze. This is huge. This type of self-regulation of quality and process is exactly what makes craft beer Craft Beer. This type of organizing is what will differentiate craft brewers in the future. I really hope that this branches out into other parts of the brewing world, that we see a stronger focus on style, on process, and ultimately, on quality. Robert Alan Wendeborn is a former cellar operator at Ska Brewing and current lead cellar operator at Tin Roof Brewing in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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�����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������   Thursday, June 1, 2017 | 9


[the train]

PAUL CARSON:

A PORTRAIT OF THE CHIEF CONDUCTOR »» Yes, old-time train conductor is a real job ... “I have been with the railroad for 10 years. I came into the operating department as a brakeman.” Now, Paul Carson, a guy who thought he was visiting Durango for a summer, is chief conductor of the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad (D&SNG). Not bad for a kid from Pennsylvania who learned about trains from his granddad. Carson is a broad-shouldered, bespectacled fella with sandy hair and a jovial voice. You know Superman’s cover-persona, the clean-shaven Clark Kent? Yeah, that’s what Paul Carson looks like – sturdy and by the book. The man digs structure and railroad canon, so much so that he collects railroad rule books. “The oldest one I have is about 115 years old.” No, constant reader, we didn’t get to sniff the century-old pages. Carson, wisely, doesn’t keep rare books in his train yard office.

Bigfoot Man wasn’t a real danger, but still, if there were a monster, Carson is the kinda guy who could command a crew, battle a kaiju, and live to conduct another day. Heck, even if Durango was plaguestruck and the virus caused a zombie surge through the San Juans, Carson said the train could be a safe evac space. When pressed on the matter, Carson laughed, took a thoughtful moment, and said, “If it comes to that, I think we should all get on the train and ride to Cascade Canyon. I think we’d be safer up there.” Rest assured, the fully loaded 18-mph train could outpace all but fast zombies.

Though his days are spent curlicuing through mountain passes in a sunshine yellow and coal black steam train, Carson isn’t play-acting. He strides through train cars making cordial chitchat with passengers, but Carson is not a Victorian character putting on a show. “There are narrators in certain train cars. It is much safer to let them have that job [of storyteller and historian].”

Carson doesn’t have time to daydream at work, but he will spitball history for a hot minute with you. When asked what era of the train he would travel back to, if possible, Carson said, “I would have liked to work out of Durango between the early 1940s through the early 1950s ... There would have been trains coming from all four directions into Durango. The Rio Grande Southern [was] active until 1952 and many of the local industries would have been in full production because of the war effort.” It was an intersectional age of technology.

“One of the things I hear a lot [from passengers] is, ‘Well, if you’re back here, who’s driving this thing?’” said Carson. See, the engineer is the one in the front cab driving the train, along with the fireman (the person who shovels coal into the engine). A conductor collects tickets, keeps tabs on how the train chugs along, eyeballs the track for irregularities, and sentinels the safety of crew and commuters. The D&SNG breathes steam and roars into being, and Paul Carson, as conductor, has to bridle not only the iron beast but its environment. The train, open for freight and travelers in July of 1882, is a registered national historic landmark. It’s remarkably safe, but you never know when bears may raid a concession car (it happened before Carson’s time), when a derailment can endanger every car, when a spark might start a wildfire,

David Holub/DGO

»»  A view of the Rockwood stop between Durango and Silverton. or when a sasquatch could strut through the brush. “This was a few years ago, but there was a man up by

Silverton who would wear a Bigfoot outfit and you’d see him from far off walking through the trees.” Sure,

The train has switched from a necessity to nostalgia, but what you think is a day of historical tourism can turn into a meditative experience. “There’s this old John Lennon quote, ‘Life happens when you are busy making other plans,” he said. “In an environment where there is no cell service or Wi-Fi, the train almost forces people to step away from their phones and appreciate life and the world for what it is and all that it encompasses. That’s a good thing.” —— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

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[the train]

Photos by David Holub/DGO

»»  Jake, working the concession car on the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad.

»»  Sales photographer Jade Button on the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad.

»»  Lacey Black playing ragtime at the Grand Imperial Hotel in Silverton.

259749

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The Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad

A VIEW OF THE TRAIN FEW GET TO SEE »» Secrets of the D&SNG

train yard: Jeff Ellingson dishes historical dirt

(AND OTHER ODDITIES AND OBSERVATIONS)

»» Riding the cab and

more behind the scenes to Silverton and back

Patty Templeton Patty Templeton

DGO STAFF WRITER

DGO STAFF WRITER

R

Editor’s note: On a recent Wednesday, Patty Templeton rode the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad to Silverton and back, riding in the cab part of the way. What follows is her account.

adiation, brothels, bullies, hellfire, and steam, Jeff Ellingson, curator of the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad Museum, can chat you up on all of it. The D&SNG Museum houses a hodgepodge of history ranging from transportation artifacts to taxidermy. It’s free and worth the walkthrough, but if you want the inside story, pony up five bucks at the front depot to take a train yard tour. Ellingson, a man who’s spent 33 years on the railroad, recently led DGO through the Durango & Silverton yard, roundhouse, and museum, dishing dirt on local history. Weren’t nothing here before the railroad

“What people tend to not know is that Durango was a supply town. It was built by the railroad. Durango wasn’t here before the train was here,” said Ellingson as he stood behind the depot on a gray, breezy day. Durango wasn’t first choice, either. The Denver & Rio Grande, with General Palmer himself, first approached Animas City but, “Animas City didn’t want the technology and riff-raff that went along with a modern city.” It’s easy to think of the railroad as Victorian, retro technology, but General Palmer was a high-tech guy who “... earned about narrow gauge when he was on his honeymoon in England,” said Ellingson. “It could be built more quickly, you don’t have as much to blast out of the mountain, you can have tighter curves.” And, until Palmer’s pal, Andrew Carnegie, built a steel mill in Pueblo, that steel would have been shipped from England. It was D&RG engineers who planned Durango, not settlers. “They did a pretty good job. The smelter was on the other side of the river. All of the nice neighborhoods and the churches were built along the boulevard, which is (now) 3rd Avenue. The downtown was really segregated. The east side of the downtown was Continued on Page 14

Up front

David Holub/DGO

»»  Jeff Ellingson, museum curator of the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad Museum, in the D&SNG train yard.

Patty Templeton/DGO

»»  Fireman John Walden shovels coal into the firebox of the D&SNG 481 locomotive.

David Holub/DGO

Patty Templeton/DGO

»»  A view of the painting room in the D&SNG Railroad roundhouse.

*

David Holub/DGO

»»  Carman Eric Bunn working on jumbo train trucks.

Patty Templeton/DGO

»»  Isaac Randolph’s gloves in the cab

»»  Engineer Isaac Randolph pulls the whistle in the cab of the D&SNG’s 481

of the D&SNG 481.

locomotive.

For a hellton more pictures of the train ride to Silverton, as well as the D&SNG train yard, go to dgomag.com

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Grit, clank, clamor, roll, and shudder – standing in the cab of the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad is akin to traipsing atop a metal-backed ocean. It’s bound to bull you from your perch, if you ain’t observant of the lurch and sway. Coal scatters under boot and two left feet can mean a faceplant to the hellfire blazing firebox or spilling from the side entries. If you topple out ’cause you didn’t have purchase of a handrail, you could drop down a mountain. Of course, all that doesn’t matter to seasoned professionals like engineer Isaac Randolph and fireman John Walden. The train chugs 45 miles from Durango to Silverton. As the iron horse trundles forth, steep rock faces and waterfalls wash awe on passenger cars while soot layers Randolph and Walden. They labor in a compact metal box brimming with pressure gauges, throttles, safety valves, boiler bits, levers, hoses, pipes, lights, and on each side of it all, there’s tall, worn seats for the both of them. Not that the fireman gets much of a chance to sit down. The speed of 18 mph is reached via Walden’s elbow grease as he transfers coal to the firebox that feeds the boiler: Bend, balance, shovel, spin, pedal-step the firebox open, coal-toss, turn, repeat. From Durango to Silverton and back again, the fireman will shovel nearly six tons of coal from the tender, the train car behind the cab that holds the fuel. That’s about the weight of 10, full-grown, inland grizzly bears. Better plug them ears up, too. The fireman feeds the train and it belches out clangs and thunder-rumbles. The old-time whistle that blares beautiful across Durango? That’s Isaac Randolph signaling missives to the conductor, head brakeman, rear brakeman, and rest of the crew. He pulls a burly, smudged rope in long and short blasts to create a language similar to Morse code. It’s surprising that passengers see any canyon creatures with the way a vintage, 1920s locomotive on 1880s narrow gauge track roars through the wild. Continued on Page 15

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[the train] From Page 12

where the proper people were. Women and children would walk on the east side only. The other side of town was all prostitution, brothels, and bad news.” Ellingson added, “In its first five years of being a town, Durango had 60 bars and only two churches.”

What goes on in the roundhouse? A whiff of garage oil greets you at the D&SNG museum. It’s because of the attached goliathan structure, the “roundhouse,” the machine shop that stores and services the locomotives. In the rear, there’s an immense, outdoor turntable. “We can turn it to any track that goes into the roundhouse,” said Ellingson. “We bring engines out to that turntable and line them up for the main line, then send them out to Silverton.” In 1989, the first roundhouse burned. Ask Ellingson, and he’ll show you the small bit of wall left from the original building. The rest of it, well, “The roof was soaked in coal dust and oil. It went up like you wouldn’t believe.” Step into the roundhouse and you’ve left the 21st century behind. It’s a locomotive-lined, industrial cavern coated in grit. Bright light washes in from enormous train doors. A mechanical humming is ever-present and shadows cloak workbenches, tables, and tools – all whispering stories at anyone willing to listen. Looking at the resting locomotives, Ellingson said, “We have seven operating steam engines. They were all built in the 1920s ... These engines, we don’t baby them. They’re run as hard today as they were when they were new. A lot of railroads that are tourist railroads will bring a steam engine out on a weekend or special days, but we’re the only place in the world that lines these up, three a day. We put 100 miles on them up steep grades at maximum tonnage ... There isn’t another place like this.” In the middle of the warehouse, a locomotive sits stripped to the bolts. It’s stationed over a pit where mechanics can work. “This is what a skeleton of a locomotive looks like. Every 10 years, we have to take a locomotive and tear it apart.”

WWII machinery making trains A short walk away and Ellingson gestured to a vast machine shop.

David Holub/DGO

»»  A view of the D&SNG Railroad’s turntable behind the roundhouse. “This is like a working museum. It’s where we build all of our parts. We can’t buy parts, so we make them all here.” The room is filled with machines bigger than tiny houses. Two men in hardhats work at one. Nearby, there are enormous wheels that weigh about 13,000 pounds each. They’re from the 476, the stripped-down skeleton locomotive. “You and me, we’re both humans, but our parts aren’t necessarily interchangeable. It’s the same with a locomotive,” said Ellingson. “Even though they are the same model, make, and built the same year, you can’t take parts off one locomotive and put them on another.” “The machines in here are all from the 1930s or 1940s. We don’t have any computers in here ... These machines, in WWII, were all cranking out Jeeps and B-17s and machine guns ... To be truly authentic, we wanted to manufacture our parts with machines that were the same age as our locomotives.” Authenticity doesn’t stop in the machine shop. “People ask if we have speedometers in the cab and we don’t. We listen. We can tell how fast the engine is going by the clickety-clack

on the rails. I can tell you what 18 mph sounds like.”

Weirdness in the roundhouse at night At night, only two people work in the roundhouse, engine watchmen, keeping the engines hot. “We keep fires in them. When they’re in service, they’re hot all the time. The less expanding and contracting you have of the steel, the better it is for the engine. “The engine watchmen talk about chunks of coal flying around out of nowhere,” said Ellingson. When you work in a place that has 135 years of history, there’s bound to be a bit of the unexplainable. “We have a fellow we call ‘Legs.’ Legs doesn’t have any legs. He fell between the cars on a moving freight train behind the Durango Herald in 1910. The train ran him over, cut his legs off [Ellingson slices his hand across his thighs]. He bled to death before he could get to the hospital. Horrible. The guys report hearing hands and a torso dragging on the ground.” He adds, “I used to be really skeptical of paranormal stuff, thought it was stupid, didn’t believe in it. But, after years of being around the unexplainable, you say, ‘Something’s going on.’”

The roundhouse is a manufacturing labyrinth Continuing the tour, Ellingson exited a roudhouse door, only to open another. Behind it, a carman named Eric Bunn worked on jumbo trucks, the parts that roll under a passenger car, swivel, and carry the weight. “These guys work on over 50 passenger cars and keep them in excellent condition. A lot of this is as old as the railroad itself. They’re taken apart and inspected every year and anything that is found defective or worn out is replaced,” said Ellingson. Carmen check the train in the morning and again at night. They pay special attention to the brakes. “It’s all downhill from Silverton,” said Ellingson, “Except a few spots, the brakes are on the whole way down. That puts a lot of wear and tear on ’em.” Bunn is also an engineer. “Me and him have been on a few missions together over the years,” said Ellingson. “When you go out on the train, you’re on an adventure. You really never know what’s going to happen.” “You’re on your own out there, in Continued on Page 15

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[the train] From Page 14

the hills,” added Bunn. “Three-hundred people from all over the world that think this might be a Disneyland ride,” said Ellingson. “They don’t quite get that they are in the wilderness, and if something goes wrong, we have to rescue ourselves. “ The D&SNG strives to provide a safe environment, but Mother Nature has her own plans. Rockslides, mudslides, and flash floods are real possibilities on route. Ellingson himself was on the tracks the day of a rockslide, which “Came down and took the tracks out. We stopped in time and had to transfer all of our folks to another train.” A walk past locker rooms, offices, and a passenger car, Ellingson motioned to a side room, “This is where we paint the cars,” he said, pointing out an 1880s passenger car getting an entirely new interior and paint job. Hisses and sizzles slunk from a welding shop. Near it, a woodworking shop houses stacks of works in progress.

Behind the roundhouse, across from Smelter Mountain Ellingson pointed across the train yard, over the highway, and to the dog park. It’s where the smelter used to be. “That scar over there was where all the gold, silver, copper, lead, and zinc were processed. There were five blast furnaces that ran 24 hours a day.” About 200 folks worked at the smelter until the Great Depression,

when it went out of business. The railroad and Durango were hurting until WWII. “Durango was founded partially because there’s so much coal here, but there’s also a lot of uranium. [In 1942, the smelter] went from processing gold and silver to crushing uranium with the stamp mills. A lot of Durangoans were working over there, happy to be working, but nobody told them about the radiation. They would come home covered in dust, or yellowcake, and hug their wives, their kids. Their homes became contaminated.” For decades, parents, like Ellingson’s, warned kids from sneaking around the eventually-abandoned smelter. “Nothing would grow there because it was radioactive. When the wind would blow, that dust and junk would drift over town.” It wasn’t until the early ’90s that the smelter was demolished and the radiation dealt with. “They tore down the houses of people that used to work there and removed the soil, too. They took three inches of soil off of here, too,” Ellingson said, motioning to the entire rail yard. “The uranium they processed over there was used in the first atomic bomb during WWII. In the 1960s, they were still processing uranium, but for use in the Cold War. A lot of people don’t know that about Durango.” And then ... Ellingson led DGO staff back into the D&SNG Railroad Museum. The ghost story he told us inside of a sleeper car from 1900 is for another time ...

David Holub/DGO

»»  Trail wheels in the D&SNG roundhouse.

David Holub/DGO

»»  An old freight car along the tracks on the way from Durango to Silverton. From Page 13

What’s going on in the back? The D&SNG briefly pauses at Rockwood, a sleepy stop an hour or so out of Durango. You gingerly tread down widely-set steps and quick-foot it on the gravel past the silver-lettered, black locomotive to the passenger cars. The sky is gray. The wind is high. As the elevation increases, there’s more of a snow-itch fingering through the trees. Though a tad chilly, it’s an exquisite day. If the folks in the locomotive’s cab breathe life into the beast, Paul Carson, chief conductor, corrals the train into a cordial, panoramic experience. The train tips the scales at 286,600 pounds, the same heft as 204 fullgrown buffalo. Got that much weight propelling up a mountain and it’s good to have someone with an eye for safety. Up until 1888, brakemen had a vigorously perilous occupation. A brakeman would strongarm an iron wheel atop a train car attached to a metal rod to manually slow the train. Front and rear brakemen would leap from car to car tightening the brakes – no matter the weather or time of day – until they met in the middle. Thankfully, air brakes were created and now the position mostly assists the conductor and helps switch the train from track to track. Outside are rickety bridges, black rock, ancient greenery, steep cliffs, the rush and gush of the Animas River, wise mountains, pines sinking riverside, the black ghosts of fire pits, and the crumbling remains of former freight cars line the tracks. Inside, his-

torical narrators bring the San Juan National Forest to life with dramatic facts of yesteryear. Both crew and passengers can walk through the fully-enclosed coaches that connect to open-sided gondola cars which connect to, most importantly, the concession car. You will be entertained if you enter the concession car. Hot coffee on a breezy train is dang near to bliss. Add in the folks behind the counter clowning around, and the time traveling to Silverton disappears. Silverton: SmallTown, USA Dirt roads, ragtime tunes, boldly painted buildings, plenty of churches, and less than 700 folks call Silverton home. This quaint tourist town drops down to a population of less than 300 people in the winter. You’ll have several hours in town – plenty of time to eat at the quirky, highly-taxidermied Handlebars Food & Saloon and cruise down to Sugar Rush, a candy store specializing in salt water taffy. The mountains backdrop the stationary still steaming train and, with a few more people bustling around you, it’d be easy to imagine Silverton in its heyday. At one point, it had 5,000 persons and a boozing, brotheling, gambling, pugnacious thoroughfare. But, before you wade too deep in the rivers of reverie, the D&SNG’s whistle sounds – a warning to climb aboard for the three-hour, picturesque expedition down to Durango. Plenty of time to think on nostalgia, now, and how, in 1825, the Quarterly Review stated, “What can be more palpably absurd than the prospect held out of locomotives traveling twice as fast as stagecoaches?”

���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������   Thursday, June 1, 2017 | 15


[ weed ]

[review] Chemmy Jones Elevated Discourse Meggie J

What is it? Chemmy Jones is a sativa-dominant hybrid. Its parents are hybrid powerhouse Chemdawg and sativa Casey Jones. The TCH level is 34.05 percent. Terpines are at 2.75 percent, causing this strain to smell intensely rich.

Cash-heavy cannabusinesses banking on new legislation

The effects

T

he Secure and Fair Enforcement Banking Act of 2017, otherwise known as the SAFE Banking Act of 2017, was introduced into the U.S. Senate at the end of April by Oregon Sen. Jeff Merkley and co-sponsored by a group of bi-partisan senators, including Cory Gardner (R-CO), Michael Bennet (D-CO), and Elizabeth Warren (D-MA). It aims to ensure legal cannabis-related businesses access to financial institutions. Currently, 29 states have legalized marijuana for either medical and/or recreational use. But under federal law, cannabis is still illegal, so banks and other financial institutions are wary of working with any legal cannabis business under threat of federal prosecution. Estimates last year show the total worth of the cannabis industry was $6.7 billion. And while the government has found a way to tax it, legal avenues of investing gains made off of the sale, growth or manufacturing of any cannabis products have been extremely limited. Because of these limitations – in place since its inception as a legal business in 2000 – the cannabis industry in Colorado has mostly been cash-based. Senator Merkley said in a press release in May 2017 after the introduction of the SAFE Banking Act, “It’s absurd that cannabis business owners ... have to shuttle around gym bags full of cash to pay their taxes or compensate their employees. This is a public safety issue, and rather than making it even harder for banks to serve these legal businesses, President Trump and Attorney General Sessions should work with us to end this unnecessary risk for communities across America.” Senator Bennet agreed. “The lack of access to banking services for marijuana businesses is a key issue in Colorado,” he said in the press release. “This common-sense bill would address those issues by allowing our banking system to serve marijuana businesses that are in compliance with state laws.” When area dispensary owner Greg Viditz-Ward opened the Telluride Green Room on April 20, 2010, he did what most small business owners did and ran his expenses through his personal account. As his business grew, he found it necessary to pay some of his expenses with cash and even money orders. “It was ironic that the banks would not allow us to have business accounts because they were a federally-insured institution, but we could go to the post office, another federal institution, and buy money orders,” Viditz-Ward said while discussing the impact the SAFE act could have on his business.

Alexi Grojean/Special to DGO

Over the years, Viditz-Ward often had his personal accounts shut down as soon as his banks found out he was involved with the marijuana industry. It made it very inconvenient to try to pay bills and employees with cash, and paying taxes with cash was nerve-wracking. “Even at times, I felt unsafe,” he said. Luckily, Viditz-Ward was able to find a bank that works with people in the cannabis industry. For privacy reasons, he could not reveal the name of the financial institution for publication, but he was able to tell me a bit how they work: “They send in a third party for random compliance inspections and also come down for periodic audits.” All of this in addition to county and state inspections make sure that the dispensary is in compliance with the state’s marijuana enforcement division. Describing its purpose, the SAFE Banking Act begins, “To create protections for depository institutions that provide financial services to cannabis-related legitimate businesses, and for other purposes.” In simple words, it protects the banks from federal prosecution. What would this bill mean to Viditz-Ward? “I would love to be able to bank locally and invest in my community.” Besides the benefits to cannabis business owners, this bill not only helps the financial institutions that are already working with legal cannabis businesses, but it opens up the opportunity for community banks and local credit unions to work with this billion dollar industry, which Forbes Magazine predicts could grow 700 percent by 2020. So why is this important to the average Colorado citizen not involved in the cannabis business? Mainly because this money could be invested locally and used in our communities. Legal operating businesses should not be discouraged from using financial institutions. This is how our economy grows, by working together. Meggie J is a published poet and freelance writer living in the Four Corners. She is an avid reader, rafter, and connoisseur of cannabis. She can be reached at coxwell.meggiej@gmail.com.

Diesels tend to come on strong and hard, and because of its heritage, Chemmy Jones is no different. This is busy weed. Have a project? Need to clean out the garage? Organize the kitchen cupboards? This weed makes me feel like getting stuff done. And after a few hours of getting it done, I want to kick back and Details: relax, glowing in the $17 a gram, lingering effects and a $50 an eighth, job well done. $230 an ounce The smell at Telluride So inviting I want to Green Room, lick the buds like lolli250 South Fir in pops. It literally made Telluride, (970) my mouth water. 728-7999. The high astringent notes expected from a diesel play out over gorgeous melon undertones from the Casey Jones side of the family. The look Tight, light green buds with little, short shocks of red hairs and shimmering white trichromes that liberally cover the surface of these dense little nuggets. The taste Delightful! By some miracle of science and mother nature, the sour scents convert to a phenomenal sweetness, creating the most divine sweet and sour taste sensation. While most joints start to taste like resin-coated weed halfway through burning, Chemmy Jones stayed sweet and strong until the last hit. Through the vaporizer, the tastes were even more distinctive. Astringent and sassy accompanied by a forceful punchy flavor on the inhale, the exhale was smooth and creamy, full of plums and melons with a pinch of earth. The final verdict Careful cross-breeding has created this phenomenal hybrid. After the initial punch from the sativa side of Chemmy’s heritage, a little lull kicks in from the indica. It’s like your body keeps going but your mind checks out for a bit. Great for dancing, working out, hiking, or creative endeavors. Very high in TCH, so I recommend caution for newbies or people that tend towards paranoia. One of my new favorites, extraordinarily strong sativa-dominant hybrid with a fantastic sweet and sour flavor that lingers and deepens with each hit. —— Meggie J

16 | Thursday, June 1, 2017  •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••


[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

What to know while watching those babies grow

N

ow that you have begun your cannabis growing journey, it is time to allow your mind to alternately expand in reverie in order to see what is to come at the end of the growing season and to focus with laser precision in order to take the necessary steps over the next few months that will allow your plan to come to fruition. In that vein, I will offer a few suggestions of things to look out for as you work your way through the process of growing your own lovelies and some possibilities of what you might be able to do with the fruits of your labor. The next couple months are the time for you to enjoy your plants as they traverse the course from little baby ladies to full-bore grown-nsexies. The first thing to do in order to flip their internal switch from vegetative mode into the flowering phase is to choose a starting date; this can occur when the plants are four inches tall or when they are four feet tall, depending on the limitations of time and space that you have. On that day, you need to find the darkest place you can and put your plants in that area for one complete 24-hour cycle. This is the signal for them to begin to produce the buds that will be your pride and joy come autumn. After their day in the dark, they can be switched to a 12-hour on/12-hour off cycle using the sun, high-pressure sodium grow lights, or some combination of the two. Check them once a day. Most days, there will not be much to do except to make sure the leaves are healthy, that there are no little creatures building a city on your crop (add some neem oil in your supplies to instantly address and defeat any potential infestations), and that they are sufficiently watered. Frequency of watering will vary depending on your individual setup with regard to heat and air circula-

tion, but, if you can stick your finger into the soil up to the second knuckle and not feel moisture, it is time to water. When you do water, do so thoroughly and deeply. If they are in pots, my recommendation is to pour enough water through each plant so that it drips all the way through the bottom, then cycle through the rest of your plants to come back and do it a second time. Beyond that, just pull off any mostly-dead leaves. I’ll touch base back here in July to give a few pointers on some tricks to assist yields. Now, let’s skip ahead to the fall when your plants are ready. They have grown large and healthy and the past few weeks have seen your colas expand to a state of gorgeous lushness, their trichromes have turned a lovely amber color, and they are ready to be taken down to enter the next stage of existence. At this point you can do whatsoever you wish with them, with one small exception. You can simply cure the trimmed buds in preparation for smoking and be done with the process, or you can decide that you would like to use the remaining trim (and possibly dedicate some of the bud) to create one or more of the possible further refined products possible from cannabis – hash, butter, oil, tincture and the like. That is well and good, but, to paraphrase Mr. Loaf’s 1993 masterpiece, you can do anything you want, but there is one thing that should absolutely, positively be left to the professionals: Butane hash oil, or BHO. Don’t do that. Starting next week, we will walk through some of the possibilities of distillates, concentrates, and other wonderful concoctions that you can create with your 2017 cannabis crop. Be well til then. Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

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[love and sex]

Savage Love | Dan Savage

Am I too intellectual and analytical to get a second date? I’m a 25-year-old gay woman and I’ve been looking for a girlfriend for the past two years. I post on dating websites, go to the lesbian club, take part in the LGBTQ+ scene at my university, and put myself in places where I might meet women. But I’m worried that my persona deters women: I’m extremely analytic, a doctoral student, and university instructor. Whenever I meet a girl, our conversation always goes in the same direction: She thinks it’s cool I work with literature and then brings up her favorite pop-culture novel like “Harry Potter.” I say something like, “I’ve never read Harry Potter, but people rave about it. What do you like about it? I took an online Harry Potter test once for a friend, and it said I was a Slytherin.” At this point, things change. The girl I’m speaking with gets flustered. She says something like, “Oh, I’m not good at describing things,” seemingly feeling pressured to give me an intellectual response, like I’m giving her a quiz. I’m not sure what to do about this. I am having trouble maintaining casual and fun conversations despite my intentions. I come off as intense. I think I’m a pretty attractive person, but my dating life is starting to make me feel differently. I work out regularly and take good care of myself. How can I find a woman I jibe with? A Lesbian Obviously Needs Excitement You’re doing all the right things – almost. You’re getting out there, you’re not shy about initiating conversation, and you’re moving on multiple fronts – online, club nights, LGBTQTSLFNBQGQIA+++ groups. Join a women’s athletic organization – join a softball league – and you’ll be moving on every lesbo front. That said, ALONE, I’m surprised this hasn’t popped into your extremely analytic head: If Y happens whenever I do X, and Y isn’t the desired outcome, then maybe I should knock this X shit the

[eff] off. Your response to the mention of Harry Potter drips with what I trust is unintentional condescension. (“I’ve never read it ... what do you like about it ... I took an online test once for a friend ...”) Don’t want women to think you’re administering a quiz? Don’t want women to get the impression you’re too intellectual for them? Don’t want to seem like someone incapable of keeping things casual and fun? Don’t administer quizzes, don’t subtly telegraph your disgust, and keep things casual by offering a little info about yourself instead of probing. (“I haven’t read the Harry Potter books, but I’m a huge Emma Watson fangirl. Who isn’t, right?”) And maybe go ahead and read Harry Potter already. I’m a middle-aged homo trying to figure out Grindr. Is it impolite to go on Grindr if you’re not looking for an immediate hookup? My preferred form of sexual relationship is the friend-with-benefits situation. I go on Grindr looking to make friends who could, at least potentially, be sex partners, but I like to do the friend thing before the sex. I’ve had guys call me an asshole because I exchanged messages with them for 20 minutes and then didn’t come right over and [eff] them. Do they have a point? Does logging into a hookup app like Grindr imply openness to an immediate sexual encounter? Talking Online Repulses Some Others Always be up front about your intentions, TORSO. The best way to do that is by creating a profile – on Grindr or elsewhere – that clearly describes what you want and what you’re up for. Because good partners (sexual or otherwise) communicate their wants clearly. Adding something like this to your profile should do it: “My preferred form of sexual relationship is the friend-with-benefits situation. I go

on Grindr looking to make friends who could, at least potentially, be sex partners, but I like to do the friend thing before the sex.” Grindr is an app designed and marketed to facilitate hookups, but some people have found friends, lovers, and husbands on the app (usually after hooking up first). So being on a hookup app doesn’t automatically mean you’re looking for “right now,” and it certainly doesn’t obligate you to [eff] every guy you swap messages with. But if you’re not clear in your profile or very first message about what you’re doing there, TORSO, guys looking for a hookup on that hookup app will be rightly annoyed with you. (The time and energy he sunk into you could have been sunk into someone looking for right now.) If you are clear, guys seeking instacock have only themselves to blame for wasting their time on you. Your timing could also have something to do with guys calling you an asshole. Are you exchanging messages at 2 in the morning for 20 minutes? Because most guys on Grindr at that hour are seeking immediate sexual encounters. If you’re just chatting in the middle of the night, then you’re probably wasting someone’s time – if, again, you’re not being absolutely clear about what you’re doing there. Also, TORSO, Grindr is location-based, which means you’re going to get a different experience based on where you’re using it. Some neighborhoods seem to be filled with messy guys looking for chemsex, bless their hearts. In others, you’ll find unwoke twinks who are on Grindr to swap (highly problematic) GIFs of black women pulling faces. And if you’re in a rural area, it’s likely you’ll message your full cast of Grindr torsos within a few days. Think of Grindr as a giant gay bar – most guys are there to hook up, a few just want to hang out and chat, some dudes are really messed up (avoid them), and no one is at their best around closing time.

I’m a married woman whose hot, hung husband is into “beautiful women and pretty boys” (his words – and he means boyish men of legal age, of course). It took a dozen years to get that out of him. I’d watched him drool over pretty male baristas and waiters, but it wasn’t until I found twink porn on his computer that he came out about his “narrow slice of bisexuality.” (Again, his words.) Now that it’s out – now that he’s out – he’s anxious to have a three-way with me and a femme guy. I’m up for it, but the pretty boys we’re finding online who are into my husband aren’t into me. My husband says he would feel too guilty doing it without me, which means he may not be able to do it at all. I want him to do it. It turns me on to think about. I don’t have to be there. Hubby’s Underlying Bi Biological Yearnings Let your hot, hung husband find a pretty boy he likes, HUBBY, then ask for the boy’s e-mail or phone number or IG handle or whatever, and have a quick back-channel convo with him. Let him know your hot, hung husband (HHH) wants his ass and that you’ll be there – but only at the start. Once drinks have been served, the ice has been broken, and a little spit has been swapped (between him and HHH), tell him you’ll invent a reason to excuse yourself (your period, bad clams, whatever), leaving him alone with your HHH. At that point, HHH can decide for himself if he wishes to proceed without you but with your blessing (which you can toss over your shoulder on your way out of the room). Good luck! Dan Savage is a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist writing for The Stranger in Seattle. Contact him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter and listen to his podcast every week at savagelovecast.com.

18 | Thursday, June 1, 2017  •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••


[happening] Thursday Trails 2000 Project Sky Steps, 4

p.m., Nature Trail, 978 East Sixth Ave., 259-4682. Tim Sullivan, 4:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Sa-

loon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Ben Gibson Duo, 5-8 p.m., Serious Texas

BBQ, 650 Camino del Rio, 259-9507. The Cannondolls, 5:30 p.m., Diamond

Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260. Late-night dance party, 10 p.m., El Ran-

Burger and a Band with The Black Velvet Trio, 5 p.m., $20, James Ranch Terrac-

cho Tavern, 975 Main Ave., 259-8111.

es, 33846 U.S. Highway 550, www.jamesranch. net.

Sunday

Ben Gibson Duo, 5-9 p.m., Animas River

Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m., Jean Pierre

Cafe, DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, 259-6580. Animas River Days kickoff party and film night, 6 p.m., $10, Animas

Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 2477700. Irish music jam session, 12:30 p.m.,

City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 7992281.

Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200, www.theirishembassypub.com.

Pete Giuliani, 6-8 p.m., Dalton Ranch, 589

Black Velvet Trio, 4 p.m., Balcony Bar and

County Road 252, 247-8774.

Grill, 600 Main Ave., 422-8008.

Sweetwater String Band, 7 p.m., $15-

Durango Cowboy Poetry Gathering Barn Dance and Picnic, 5 p.m., $15,

$20, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160. Jose Villareal, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Friday Demo garden tour, 9:30 a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 3753380. Donny Johnson, 4:30 p.m., Diamond Belle

River Bend Ranch, 27846 U.S. Highway 550, (512) 517-5619.

Monday History Movie Club, 5 p.m., Ignacio

Community Library, 470 Goddard Ave., 5639287. Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30-6:30 p.m., Ska

Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., www.skabrewing. com.

“Friday Nights” with The Lisa Blue Trio, 6 p.m., Fox Fire Farms Winery, 5513

Solo jazz guitar, 6 p.m., Cyprus Cafe, 725 East Second Ave., 385-6884.

County Road 321, 563-4675. Kirtan with Blue Lotus Feet, 7 p.m.,

$1, Yogadurango, 1485 Florida Road, 4031133. 10-minute-play readings, 7 p.m.,

Tuesday Master’s Men Colorado, 6:30 a.m.,

DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, 2596580.

Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

Tuesday jam, 6 p.m., Steaming Bean, 900

Andy Janowsky, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

Main Ave., 403-1200.

699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Useless Knowledge Bowl Trivia+, 7 p.m., Durango Brewing Co., 3000 Main Ave., 247-3396.

Garrett and Callie Young, 7-10 p.m.,

Derailed Pour House, 725 Main Ave., 2475440. Ben Gibson Band, 7-11 p.m., Rusty

Wednesday

Shovel Saloon, 18044 County Road 501, 8842964.

Children’s Storytime, 10 a.m., James

Saturday Animas River Days, all-day event, Santa

Rita Park, 149 S. Camino del Rio, www.animasriverdays.com. 10th-annual “tear it up 4 Tyler” skateboard competition, all-day event,

$10, Schneider Skate Park, 950 Roosa Ave., 375-7323, 946-7799. Durango Farmers Market, 8 a.m., Durango Farmers Market, 259 W. Ninth St., www. durangofarmersmarket.com. Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m., Jean Pierre

Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 2477700. Durango Gun Violence Awareness Day “Wear Orange” event, 4 p.m., Buck-

ley Park, 1200 Main Ave., www.wearorange. org. Mancos Creative District Grand Summer Nights kickoff, 4-7 p.m., down-

town Mancos, 903-8831.

Ranch Terraces, 33846 U.S. Highway 550, www.jamesranch.net. White Rabbit summer writers workshop, 5:30 p.m., White Rabbit

DGO’s weekend picks in or near Durango Experimental music off the alley

Theatre, 699 Main Ave., on Thursday, June 1.

Durango’s got a new band! Public Pleasures will be playing at Sweet 101 at 8 p.m. Saturday, June 3. Ambient techno artist Kevin Greenspon, Iowa pop rock artist Karen Meat, and the complex, jazzy avant-everything Dana T will also be touring through.

Show 7 p.m. to 10.

All ages. No alcohol. $5.

Over 100 playwrights submitted 10-minute plays, and the DAC, 802 East Second Ave., has narrowed it down to their top five finalists. There will be a free reading of the finalists from 7 p.m. to 9, Friday, June 2.

Sweet 101’s in the alley behind 858 Main Ave. Details: https://www.facebook.com/ DGOSweet101

Book it to White Rabbit White Rabbit Books and Curiosities, 128 W. 14th St., Unit C, holds its second annual Book Sale/Yard sale on Saturday and Sunday, June 3-4. The White Rabbit Garden will overflow with 50-plus boxes of books all marked down from 50 cents to $1. Sale hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. both days. If you haven’t been there, it’s on the Animas River Trail near the Powerhouse Science Center. Bonus event: From 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. Wednesday, June 7, DGO staff writer Patty Templeton will facilitate a writers’ workshop. Writers are encouraged to bring excerpts of any genre to share and gain feedback on. Free. Registration required at 970259-2213. Info at https://www.facebook.com/ whiterabbitbooksandcuriosities

Tix $15 to $20. Details: www.henrystratertheatre. com

Plays as prose at the DAC

Judges will pick a Grand Prize Winner that’ll get $500 and the audience votes on a People’s Choice Award to receive $100.

ABQ folk fest throws down South American rhythms will roll out of Baracutanga; Bayou Seco’s got your Cajun creole; and indie Americana duo Bébé La La will harmonize you to joy – and that ain’t even all. The Albuquerque Folk Festival has a stacked lineup of honky tonk to southwestern-tinged tunes to keep you going all day, Saturday, June 3. There are group jams scattered throughout the day, music workshops, food vendors, a craft show, and storytelling sessions all crammed into what looks to be a fantastic day at the Albuquerque Balloon Museum, 9201 Balloon Museum Drive NE, in Albuquerque.

Folk fusion at the Strater

Gates open at 10 a.m. Activities start at 10:30.

Sweetwater String Band and Six Dollar String Band bring soulgrass and old time twang to the Henry Strater

$15 advance, $20 at the gate. Fest deets: http://abqfolkfest.org

Books and Curiosities, 128 W. 14th St., 259-2213. National Geographic’s “From the Ashes” film screening, 6-8 p.m., Du-

rango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www.dgomag. com, visit www.swscene.com, click

“Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form, and submit. Listings at www.swscene.com will appear on www. dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www.swscene. com is free and takes one day to process.

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Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) During all your conversations with others this week, you will be calm and realistic. You see the limitations that others have, and you’re willing to accept them with grace. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Solitude in beautiful surroundings will please you this week because you want to become more disciplined in an inner way. You want to be able to count on yourself. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Someone older or more experienced might have advice for you this week, or he or she might assist you in some way. It’s possible that you will strike up a new friendship, even a romance, with someone of an age difference. CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

Relationships with bosses and author-

ity figures are excellent this week. If others ask for your advice about how to make something look better, you can help them. LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) This is a good week to make serious plans about future travel. Likewise, you can make future plans about further education, publishing, the media, medicine and the law. VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Some kind of legal ruling might profit you this week because you will benefit from the wealth and resources of others. If something comes your way, just say, “Thank you!” LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) A discussion with a partner or close friend will be productive and realistic this week. This is because you do not have pie-in-the-sky expectations.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) You will accomplish a lot at work this week because others will help and support you. You find it easy to be polite and reasonable, which is why your relationships will be so positive. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Romance with someone older might take place this week. This is a good week to make plans for a vacation because you won’t overlook details.

so well. You can even act as a mediator if others disagree. PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) Your approach to anything financial will be conservative, solid and realistic this week. This is a good day to think about a budget. It’s also a good day to buy something useful and long-lasting. BORN THIS WEEK

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

You are entertaining and witty and have admirers wherever you go. This is a powerful year for you. Whatever you have done in the past will now come to fruition. This is a year of big decisions and major achievements. Activity is your keynote. You will be very involved and occupied. Opportunities for advancement and recognition for past and current work will come about during this year.

You are calm and realistic this week, which is why you get along with others

© 2017 King Features Syndicate Inc.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) A discussion with an older family member could be significant this week. You also will enjoy budgeting for home-redecorating projects.

weekly bestsellers May 21-27 »»The Metabolic Approach to Cancer, by Dr. Nasha Winters and Jess Higgins Kelley, MNT (Hardcover) »»Oh, the Places You’ll Go, by Dr. Seuss (Hardcover) »»Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, by Neil Degrasse Tyson (Hardcover) »»All the Light We Cannot See, by Anthony Doerr (Paperback) »»Milk and Honey, by Rupi Kaur (Paperback) »»Everything, Everything, by Nicola Yoon (Paperback) »»The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood (Paperback) »»The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho (Paperback) »»A Man Called Ove, by Fredrik Backman (Paperback) »»The Nightingale, by Kristin Hannah (Paperback)

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[Durango’s stories, told in their own words]

First Person | Cyle Talley

‘ARE YOU SURE IT’S HER?!’ »» The conclusion to Ryan Brungard’s quest for his dog, Hope, lost in Canyonlands Editor’s note: Read Part I of this story at dgomag.com under First Person in the “Columns” section.

Last week, Ryan Brungard told Part I of his story about his dog, Hope, getting lost in Canyonlands National Park – an honest-to-God, heart-wrenching “Homeward Bound” tale. He concludes the tale of his quest to find Hope (literally and figuratively) here, in his own words. The days that followed Hope’s disappearance were not my most productive days at work. I would be on the phone to BLM, the Moab Animal Shelter, nearby Utah cities, Forest Service, trying to get the word out. Luckily, the guys at my firm were really on board. As the days wore on, I would get these urges to just drop everything and go and look for her. There were a couple of times that I did, that I dropped everything and went back to duct tape posters with good color photos and descriptions to the handful of BLM boards around. I always felt like I wasn’t doing enough. Social media, phone calls, posters, emails – it was never enough. I should be camping out there until I find her. I should be mounting a huge search party. I should be – and remember that days are going by. Days. Then weeks. I was just pummeling myself. It must’ve been late April, right around Easter time. My friends were beginning to wonder how to tell me to start letting go of Hope, and I think deep down, reality might have been starting to set in. I was sitting at my desk and my cellphone went off. It was a guy calling from deep in Canyonlands. He had some sort of cellphone booster. He says, “I think I found your dog.” This is 28 days later, so I’m freaking out. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and I’m shouting at this guy, “What do you mean you found her?! Are you sure it’s her?!” I’m just assaulting this guy with questions. I remember him saying, “I’m pretty sure it’s her. I saw your pictures, and I’m looking right at her. She’s super skinny, and she won’t come to me, but I’m pretty sure it’s her.” He gave me coordinates, and I immediately rushed out to Moab.

Courtesy of Ryan Brungard

»»  Ryan Brungard’s dog, Hope, after being found at Canyonlands National Park.

It was the middle of the day when I pulled my car in. I grabbed a leash and set out. I had only been walking around in the area for a few minutes when I see these two eyes staring out at me from the bushes. I yelled, “Hope!” and immediately, the eyes turn. It’s her. I know it. I took off running toward her, screaming her name, and she bolted – but at this point, nothing’s stopping me. I’ve got a line on her. I’m chasing after her and she goes across this little river that runs around this campground. She stops and I stop and we’re staring at each other. I sit down and casually say, “Hey Hope, c’mere, c’mere,” like I would at home or in the park. She came over to me with this slow, skit-

tish catwalk. Her face is sunburned and her collar is drooping off of her – every one of her ribs is visible. She looked like a walking skeleton, and it was clear that she was completely running on fumes. I put the leash on her when she got close enough, and I couldn’t contain myself. I was loving her, totally frantic, but trying to keep it in check because I was sure she was still very freaked out and confused and discombobulated. The first thing I want to do is throw a steak down for her, a full Thanksgiving dinner, huge water bowl, the whole thing. But I knew that giving a dog who hasn’t had food for that long can really mess with its system. So I put out a small amount of food, gave

More photos at dgomag.com For more photos chronicling Ryan and Hope’s story, go to dgomag.com her some good, clean water, and got her into the car and we went immediately to the vet. Besides the weight loss, she was perfectly healthy. It’s hard to say how this whole thing impacted me. Obviously, I love my girl. And the fact that she stayed alive and we were able to reconnect has to mean something, right? This story isn’t about me. It’s about Hope. I know people with food, water, shelter, and booze that can’t survive Canyonlands for a weekend. Hope is a warrior. I don’t want the story to be about me because I still feel so guilty. Sitting here, talking to you, thinking about the things I did and didn’t do, if I could have done anything more, and the fact that she came back to me – I still look at her sometimes and think, “Why did you come back to me?” and I’m so glad that she came back! I mean, do I deserve her? Am I giving her a good life? Can we, and here I’m talking about any of us, be good to each other – be good for each other? I know that I’m way too hard on myself. Doing this has made me realize again how awful and incredible and special it was. I trust her implicitly now, and I think it’s on both sides, too. We tend to think about not taking things for granted in terms of life, relationships, jobs, health, etc. I never thought I would go for a weekend trip in the desert and come back without my dog. Telling this story in detail again after several years has made me realize how easy it is to take things for granted. We could all likely use some work in this area. Cyle Talley is grateful to Ryan and Hope for allowing him to tell their story. Email him at: cyle@cyletalley.com

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