Get Pumped For Pride by Ballantine Communications

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, June 22, 2017

DGO

GET PUMPED FOR

PRIDE »» Members of Durango’s LGBTQ community discuss what Pride means to them »» Pride survival guide »» Event roundup

Also: A remedy for the opioid epidemic, and how to do summer beers

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Donald Trump is ...

CHILD LECTURER! A video series about what happens when you take Donald Trump’s exact words and make him sound like a child, set in a world of stop-motion animation.

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DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 2 Number 35

June 22, 2017

Chief Executive Officer

16 A remedy to the opioid epidemic

Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising

Today in America we face a national health crisis. An epidemic that killed nearly 35,000 people in 2015 alone, opioid overdose is the number one cause of accidental death in the United States. One solution might be right in front of us

David Habrat V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis Founding Editors Amy Maestas David Holub Editor/ creative director David Holub

From the Editor

Love it or Hate it

Vintage Durango

Sound

Downtown Lowdown 6 Album Reviews 7

dholub@bcimedia.com

375-4551

16 Weed

Staff writer ptempleton@bcimedia.com Contributors Katie Cahill Katie Clancy Christopher Gallagher Alexi Grojean Meggie J

Elevated Discourse

23 First Person: Brett Masse

Patty Templeton

Bryant Liggett

Bring hard, fast alt-country to the park Halden Wofford and the Hi*Beams, a Front Range-based outfit that is moving toward their 15th year of flying a flag of their own brand of country & western. They’ll play June 29 in Buckley Park.

Jon E. Lynch Cooper Stapleton Cyle Talley Robert Alan Wendeborn Advertising 247-3504

I know Brett Masse as an artist, a photographer, someone who can tell me about astrophysics without completely losing me, and a guy who is constantly working on his VW Bug – not a guy who plays video games. So when he tells me that he can’t believe how cool video games have become, I can’t help but ask him to tell me more.

Seeing Through the Smoke 17

18 Savage Love 19 Happening 20 DGO Deals 22 Horoscope/ puzzles 22 Pages 23 First Person

/dgomag

Reader Services 375-4570

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

Beer

Summer beers: What, where and how to drink What kind of beer should you grab for which activities and how are you transporting said beers? What are some summer surprises? And what should you absolutely avoid?

Tell us what you think!

/dgomag

@dgo_mag

ON THE COVER Tyler Frakes chills in his women’s size 15 shoes. He did not get them at Brown’s. David Holub/DGO

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

�� Thursday, June 22, 2017 | 3

@dg

[CTRL-A]

[ love it or hate it ]

David Holub |DGO editor

Movies full of homoeroticism, what’s a straight boy to do?

hen I was a kid, I thought Arnold Schwarzenegger movies were the pinnacle of cinematic achievement. When Arnold rattled off one-liners, I cheered his wittiness. When he mowed down one goon after the next with automatic weapons, I exalted his aim and called for more carnage (thankfully, his guns were always endlessly loaded). When he preposterously drove the brakeless jeep down the mountainside at the start of “Commando,” I understood that was part joyride for him as well. Schwarzenegger was the epitome of everything cool and powerful as a kid, 1985’s “Commando” and 1987’s “Predator” being his apex. He had that flattop, he could outsmart anyone or anything – terrestrial or otherwise, and he was always current or ex-special forces, the best of the best (AND he had a penchant for going rogue, making his own rules, just like all cool guys). And those muscles! He could move and lift parked cars, pick enemies up by the neck with one hand, and toss phone booths like they were empty beer cans. I can remember watching these movies in complete earnestness, thinking Arnold Schwarzenegger was the greatest human ever made: Strong, powerful, smart, savvy, and respected. I recently re-watched my favorite Schwarzenegger films, and shortly into “Commando,” I saw something I’d never seen. During the opening scenes filled with all of Arnold’s wood chopping and carrying of logs (in a tank-top no less!), with all the pure, gratuitous muscles, I had to ask the question: Did they intentionally set out to make such a homoerotic movie? The homoeroticism in “Commando” didn’t end there. Let me list just a few more: »» The scene where Arnie paddles a raft in his efforts to get to the enemy compound. Unfathomable to get his clothes wet, the movie strips him down to a Speedo – because why – and we get him rowing from every angle (it’s a common trope in Schwarzenegger films to get him in water wearing next to nothing and sometimes rowing a la “Twins.”) »» Two bad guys at the enemy compound shown apparently – and there’s no other

way to say this – polishing a massive cannon. »» The main bad guy, Bennett, is dressed throughout the movie like a Russian S&M prostitute, from his killer mustache, to his black-sleeveless T and silver-mesh tank, and club-dancing gloves. »» The way Arnold is always shooting his guns from just above the crotch, as if the phallic extension needed to be made any clearer. »» The final fight scene – partially a knife fight, no less – in which Arnie impales Bennett with a pipe that shoots white steam, followed with the line, “Let off some steam, Bennett.” You get the idea. It’s funny the examples of masculinity young males get in popular culture. For me growing up in the ’80s, that was always muscles and dominance, either through guns and violence or through the admiration and clinginess of women. Other instances of homoeroticism were pervasive throughout the ’80s: Hair bands where hyper-sexualized rock stars donned makeup and apparent pirate costumes; greased-up professional wrestlers grappled in their laced-up knee-highs and undies. Aspects of gay subculture had unwittingly made their way to mainstream America. The thing all these had in common was that they were marketed directly to straight, adolescent boys. While some homophobe or hetero-normative parents may have worried of raising sissies by letting their boys play with Cabbage Patch Kids and My Little Pony, they unwittingly left their kids alone with muscle-bound action figures and a greased-up Arnold Schwarzenegger and thought nothing of it. There’s no way to know how much this homoeroticism was on the minds of the filmmakers – my guess is that it was nowhere near. I like the idea of all of it going over the head of a little straight boy like myself. I also like the idea that the muscles, dominance, and sexual power may have landed on a gay boy differently. But I really like the delicious irony of a movie like “Commando” luring in the most hyper-masculine, macho, shootem-up-loving dude and giving him a little tingle that he’s not sure what to do with.

Glitter Love it

There will always be a part of me that pines to be an ethereal creature, like an elf or a fairy, or some other chimerical shit. I blame it on seeing Ray Harryhausen films and reading Greek myths as a kid. Can’t read about Eris and the golden apple without wanting a little bit of that chaotic flash to rub off on ya. Being as I can’t have the opalescent skin of a fabled forest creature or the glitz of the goddess of discord, I gotta get that verve and shimmer somehow. Enter, glitter. Is it messy? Yes. Does it get into the corner of your eye and try to blind you? Most assuredly. Do I still love it? Damn right. Glitter is the perfect accent to every outfit. I mean that. Wanna look straight outta Rivendell? Glitter. Need to amp your Studio 54 hot pants harlotry? Glitter. Require a boost to your tall socks and roller skates? Glitter. It’s Monday and everything sucks and you just want to GD power-sparkle your way through the day? GLITTER! Side note: Me and an author pal have a phrase for glitter. We call it “angel flang.” It’s a gloriously distasteful reference to seraphs ejaculating in sparkles, if they discharge at all. Go ahead. The week’s only as magic as you make it. Might as well pour some flang on. — Patty Templeton

Hate it There’s a reason why activists glitter-bomb those they feel are anathema to their cause. Sure, it’s a novel way of shaming those thought of as anti-LGBTQ, but even better because glitter has its very own way of saying, “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” Glitter seems so fun in the moment, as a costume accessory or even for use in your various arts and crafts. But days later, when you’re finding glitter everyplace imaginable, the pro-glitter decision is always regrettable: “It was fun, but not fun enough.” Beyond its unwillingness to leave once the party’s over, glitter is a little showy for my tastes. With its light-reflecting properties, it’s not enough for a person to be wearing bright, shimmery colors, glitter has to come along and make something already flashy and say, “Hey, look at me. Am I not dazzling?” We get it glitter. You’re shiny and fabulous, but why do you have to hang around so long? — David Holub

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[Vintage News]

Roller rompers and the late ’70s »» What was life like in an outfit like that? The year was 1979 and this roller skating romper queen had hella hip threads. It was an awkward era of wearing bath towel fabric as daywear. A turquoise-white-and-grape striped onesie at *only* today’s equivalent of $60. Oi and geez. Don’t feel bad for her wallet. The average yearly income for an American in 1979 was $17,500. What does that mean in today’s money? $58,941.74! Which is some B&S. Today, an average salary for someone under 65 is $46,409. Yup. Over 12 grand less than 40 years ago. No, but really, millennials don’t want to buy houses or spend money because we are lazy, horrible planners – not because of absurdly stagnate wages created by a government interested in pacifying corporations with greed mongering, off-shore business practices. Where was our blushed and feather-banged rink rat headed in high style? Maybe she was rolling over to a Tom Waits show. »» Ad for a romper in the May 20, 1979, Durango Herald. He was on his “Blue Valentine” tour. Maybe when she got to the concert early, she read the newly-released “The Dead Zone,” by Stephen King or “Kindred,” by Octavia Butler. Most likely, she twirled around in a parking lot to ELO’s fresh single, “Don’t Bring Me Down.” Or heck, maybe instead of going to a show, she was at a union meeting. Which is something we should all be considering right about now ... —— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

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[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Denver’s Hi*Beams bring hard, fast alt-country to the park

hey are a band that mastered a lot of the sounds that people dig on around Denver, the Front Range, and into the mountain towns. They nail the insurgent country, honky-tonk, and rockabilly heard in some of the venues around the southern stretch of Broadway, and hint at the jam bands when they stretch out on a Grateful Dead tune, letting their guitar or pedal steel player extend a solo, and more importantly, reel it back in to keep the jam-haters from hating. And though not part of the group of bands that get rattled off when discussing Bob Ferbrache and “The Denver Sound,” they are very much adept at the dark and gothic country thing that can get rowdy and weird. Denver’s always had a killer and diverse music scene, which includes a scene where bands are putting their own independent stamp on American country music. This includes Halden Wofford and the Hi*Beams, a Front Range-based outfit that is moving toward their 15th year of flying a flag of their own brand of country & western. Halden Wofford and the Hi*Beams will play Thursday, June 29, in Buckley Park as part of the Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College’s free concert series. It’s a band of beautiful irreverence. The music is at times lyrically funny, played over stomping melodies that reveals a Texas dance-hall vibe, delivered hand-in-hand with the darkness of a murder ballad or an aggressive instrumental. There are loads of originals penned by frontman Wofford that come right alongside blues, swing, or country covers. Wofford’s own tunes fit within a canonical setlist made of songs from Haggard, Jennings, the senior Williams, and Bob Wills. They’re a hell of a band; Wofford a great frontman that can croon, yodel, and yell, backed by Ben O’Connor on bass, Brett Billings on pedal steel,

Courtesy of the Hi*Beams

»» Halden Wofford and the Hi*Beams will play Thursday, June 29, in Buckley Park as part of the Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College’s free concert series.

Bryant’s best Friday: Stillhouse Junkies play bluegrass and country, 5 p.m. No cover. Durango Craft Spirits, 1120 Main Ave. Information: 247-1919. Thursday (June 29): Honkytonk and country with Halden Wofford and the Hi Beams, 5:30 p.m. Free. Buckley Park, 12th St. and Main Ave. in downtown Durango. Information: 247-7657. drummer Damon Smith, and guitar player Greg Schochet. Schochet had been playing mandolin in the early ’90s with The Wingnuts and then Runaway Truck Ramp when he started drinking from the

classic-country fountain. An audition with the Hi*Beams revealed that his future bandmates dug on country as much as he. “They were experienced musicians steeped in it,” said Schochet. “Halden grew up in Fort Worth and had known country music his whole life. Brett Billings has been playing steel guitar in country bands professionally since he was 19, and I could feel that when I first saw them. I think I had listened deeply enough to the greats and various styles and I understood that these guys had, too.” Seeing them is an exercise in American roots music and country rock. There’s no reason why Williams, Bill Monroe, Gram Parsons, Jerry Garcia,

or Leadbelly would not approve of this band’s approach. “We’re all students of the music. And in 14 years, we’ve certainly grown beyond just a sort of museum band as it were, recreating the kind of music that we love,” said Schochet. “We put some stamps on it; we let it grow, and expanded our influences, too. We play hard and fast sometimes, too, so if you’re a fan of Leftover Salmon or some of the younger, jammy grass bands, we scratch that itch also because we like to play fast. It’s not stodgy, old music.” Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

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[sound] What’s new Suicide Generation, “1st Suicide” Available: Saturday, June 24, via UK label Dirty Water Records as a download on various formats (MP3, WAV, FLAC), compact disc, and standard black LP. For instant gratification, visit the punkers Bandcamp page. This week’s releases were a wee little bit thin, but a handful of gems did present themselves. Wilco front man Jeff Tweedy has a solo album out on his in-house label, dBpm, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard return with their second of five(!) promised 2017 thunder-psych releases on ATO, and Bloodshot Records recording artist Banditos return with the Birmingham/Nashville group’s second full-length of country-soul on the label.

New at

June 23 King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard,“Murder Of The Universe” Supposedly, these Australian psychonauts are trying to release five albums this year, and though it seems a monumental task, here comes their second already. “Murder of the Universe” is a strange collection of three chapters consisting of five to 10 mini songs each, all linked with strange spoken word interludes. The highlight of the record for me was “Han-Tyumi and The Murder of The Universe,” a bizarre tale of a cyborg who wants to destroy the universe with his vomit. Sonically, the band isn’t really treading any new ground here, but lo-fi psych rock with two drummers is never an unwelcome thing in my book. The bits of spoken word do wonders to make the record feel much older than it is, reminding me of some of the crazier Hawkwind recordings. Vince Staples,“Big Fish Theory” Coming off of one of the best hip-hop albums in 2015 with “Summertime ’06,” as well as a string of high-profile features culminating with the opening track to Gorillaz’ newest album “Humanz,” Vince Staples is poised to take over the world with his new record. And the Kendrick Lamar feature certainly isn’t going to hurt. “Big Fish

Those releases aside, every now and again an album comes along right when it is needed. I needed something a little dirtier for this week’s review and enter London’s Suicide Generation. Featuring a lineup that shares current members of Atomic Suplex, The Cavemen, and Trash Culture, Suicide Generation is no throwaway side project. Apparently, the band approached Dirty Water and demanded they release a record (they have enough material for a double LP) and the label just couldn’t

Theory” features some gnarly instrumentals that wouldn’t feel foreign to fans of early Odd Future or even Death Grips. The only real gripe I have with Staples, and the only complaint I can really see any fan of hip-hop leveling at him, is that his voice isn’t for everyone. His delivery is high pitched and fast, and as someone who likes everything about Kendrick Lamar except for his voice, I could understand that complaint. But, “Big Fish Theory” lives up to the hype, and Staples isn’t bogged by the big-name features that pepper the release.

of thrash as a subgenre within metal music, and that is both a good and a bad thing. I never had much of a taste for that style of music. Slayer never did anything for me, same with Exodus or Anthrax or Suicidal Tendencies. But Municipal Waste brought in the humor that the music was missing. They have never seemed to take themselves seri-

say no. “The formula is beers, blues, deadbeat punk and telling the stories of a sick and twisted world. Add three buzzsaw guitars and exile the low strings and you have Suicide Generation.” The music might not be for everyone, but if you’re a fan of spastic, dirty punk rock, then this record might just be for you. Recommended for fans of, in the band’s own words, The Reatards, The Gun Club, Pussy Galore, and GG Allin. — Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

ously, and that leads to songs about alcoholic sharks. “Slime and Punishment” is a great thrash record, it makes me want to skate and drink 40s and wear a headband. The entire thing is fuel for a circle pit, and if that isn’t a sign of a good thrash record, then I don’t know what is. —— Cooper Stapleton

Dying Fetus,“Wrong One To F*** With” Dying Fetus has been making some of the most intense death metal since the year I was born, and it has been five years since their last record, “Reign Supreme.” “WOTFW” is a beast of a record, filled to the brim with ridiculously fast instrumentals, and the dual assault of vocals from both the guitarist and bassist actively tries to pummel the listener into submission. And if the vocals don’t get you, the moments of groove that pepper each and every song lock you into a headbanging frenzy, as if possessed by a demon trying to crack the foundations of the earth with its forehead. Having seen these guys live multiple times, I knew I was going to love this album. Sometimes you need nuance, emotion, and depth of theme. And sometimes you need an album called “Wrong One To F*** With.” Municipal Waste,“Slime And Punishment” Municipal Waste is almost single-handedly responsible for the re-emergence

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[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Summer beers: What, where, and how to drink

he longest day of the year is just around the corner and with it officially comes summer. No other beverage goes with summer better than beer. Whether it’s at the ballpark, golf course, on the river, or out on the trails, nothing hits the spot better than an ice-cold beer. Not all beers are created for all outdoor activities, and some just are not as thirst-quenching as others. So what kind of beer should you grab for whicht activities and how are you transporting said beers? What are some summer surprises? And what should you absolutely avoid? During the summer, it’s a good general rule Continued on Page 9

Alexi Grojean/Special to DGO

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[beer] From Page 8

to have at least a small stock of heat-busting, thirst-quenching cold beer always on hand. You never know when you’ll have one of the boys drop by just to crack some cold ones, and what a shame it would be if you didn’t have any cold ones to crack. The best local cold one is Mexican Logger, of course. Lime or no lime, Mexi is definitely the best thirst-quenching lager around. Second to that, I’m partial to Miller High Life (only in a bottle) and Tecate (only in a can). Even a sixer of cold ones stored in the back of the fridge will certainly do in an emergency. Different outdoor summer activities have different beer drinking conditions and requirements. For camping, I’m partial to a hearty mix of different beers and alcohols for a diversity of crowds, times of day, and foods you’ll be eating. Breaking down your beer supply by percentages is the best way to go: »» 50 percent drinking beer. Yellow, cold, cheap beer. It’s hot during the

day, and you need to stay hydrated. Mexican Logger, Miller High Life, Mama’s Yella Pils, Tecate, etc. »» 25 percent nice beer/wine with food. Big ipas, stouts, sours, Champagne, etc. Something to go with your food or dessert. Decadent Double IPA goes really well with grilled brats and Left Hand Milk Stout goes great with s’mores. Champagne is just good all the time but is an excellent breakfast beverage. »» 25 percent hard liquor (mixers optional). Passing a bottle of bourbon around a campfire is a beautiful thing. For beer when being on the river, I have three rules: »» It must be hoppy. »» It must be in 12 oz. cans. »» You have to have two drag bags. The beer must be hoppy because it’s the best way to tell if your beer gets any river water in it. It must be in 12 oz. cans because cans are better on the river, and 12 oz. because you can slam a 12 oz. in a few seconds if you need to. You need two drag bags because one can hold your full beer, keeping it in the water keeps it cold; the second is

for your empties. I’m a huge fan of Rudy Session IPA and Dale’s Pale Ale. Both have the hops to keep your taste buds aware of river water and they both go down pretty damn easy during the summer. If you’re a quick drinker, Dale’s also comes in tall boys. I think it’s hard to go wrong drinking any beer outside with friends. Whether you’re at a festival, camping, a patio, or your own front porch, if

you got some cold ones and some good people and you’re outside in Colorado, it’s going to be alright. The best pairing isn’t the quality of the food or the beer, it’s the quality of conversation and the people around you. Robert Alan Wendeborn is a former cellar operator at Ska Brewing and current lead cellar operator at Tin Roof Brewing in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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�� Thursday, June 22, 2017 | 9

[pride]

Pride survival guide »» Tips on getting the most out of Pride festivities Tyler Frakes is a marvelously funny, multi-talented, glitter-bearded, gorgeous man most often seen MC-ing for Imaginario Circus. He kindly took the time to talk to DGO about how to survive Pride if you’re new to the festival scene. Party jams! What do you listen to while you’re getting ready for Pride? Right now, I’ve been blasting the new Katy Perry. I’m obsessed. And, this is so stereotypical, but I do a lot RuPaul. Because it’s all so positive and you can’t listen to a RuPaul album and be upset. My jam is the RuPaul “Red Hot” album.

»» And, is your Pride outfit equipped with large enough pockets or do you have a killer fanny-pack to hold all the free condoms you’ll be receiving? What about songs people can absolutely expect to hear? Frakes

If it’s someone’s first Pride, what tips can you give them? »»Everybody needs a fresh haircut. You gotta have your edges together. »»Bring a reusable bottle of water; you gotta stay hydrated. Don’t miss out on the festivities because of the heat. »»Buy all the glitter, you will need it. »»Rainbow anything and everything is acceptable. »»Bring beads. This weekend, they’re practically just as good as money.

Have you rehearsed the lyrics and dance moves to “I Kissed a Girl” and/or “Let’s Hear it for

the Boy”? Do people have any misconceptions about Pride? It’s not all rippling muscles and glitter. There will be muscles and there will be glitter but that’s not all of it. That’s the biggest misconception – this idea of “fat people stay home.” I’ve seen that online. That’s so not it. And, I was asked today if Pride would be child-friendly and I said “Absolutely.” You might see some heels and some glitter, but it’s not a sex pit.

»»Also, two words – Selfie. Stick.

Is there such a thing as a fashion-don’t at Pride?

»»And, extra cab money is essential!

Not really! Just let your freak out.

When people are planning out their weekend, what contingency plan should they for sure make?

What if someone doesn’t have a freak?

Make sure you have a what-if-I-bump-into-my-ex plan. What does your what-if-Ibump-into-my-ex-plan include? Mine – I don’t quite know yet. It probably includes vomiting and running away or vomiting while running away. And, having a designated wing-man and a don’t-let-me-hook-up-with-my-ex friend. What about fashion tips? »»Everyone needs a great pair of sunglasses. For sun protection, yes, but more for undercover scoping. »»Have two outfits, one for day and one for night, is a must.

It’s all about support. All about love. It doesn’t matter what you bring as long as it’s support. What if someone is new to Pride and the community? Any tips to meeting people? Nobody is going to judge you for what you think are your downfalls, so take a step outside of them. Make friends that you maybe wouldn’t have. That’s a lot of my thing. I am the most shy person. If I could be home in my room constantly, I would do that. I make myself get out and do these things because I know people are watching and you never know who is watching and it could be helpful to someone else. Other etiquette tips? »»It’s really open; we’re all people, so

be people. It’s not like you’re going to some theme party and everyone has a role to play. Just be yourself. »»Just because people are running around in underwear doesn’t mean you have to be a pervert. There’s no touching. »»I’ll have on so much hair that if you touch my hair, I may kill you. And, don’t touch my face (or anyone’s). This is a $150 worth of makeup that I need to stay on all day long. Don’t kiss me. If you mess it up, it’s over. We air-kiss. We love each other. Any other thoughts on Pride? It’s not just a week, this is real life. Pride is all the time. We have Four Corners Alliance for Diversity in Durango. It’s awesome. We are constantly doing things and we always need help. There’s always something people can volunteer to do or donate to. Recovery tips if people party too hard? Hydration! Hydration! Ibuprofen. Hydration! Praying. [Laughs.] And, don’t see the ex. Don’t call the ex! This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity. For all the details on Durango Pride 2017, check out http://4calliancefordiversity.org/ events — Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

10 | Thursday, June 22, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Festival event roundup Pride is more than a street parade. This year’s Durango Pride Festival is packed to the glittered gills with extravagant events. Here’s the lowdown to party town. All the dollars you toss to entry fees go to support local LGBTQI causes in the Four Corners.

Movie night at the Durango Arts Center 7 p.m., Wednesday, June 21 Director and playwright Del Shores finally released a sequel to his cult classic “Sordid Lives.” For $10 (plus fees) you can see “A Very Sordid Wedding,” at the Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave. Revisit – or meet for the first time – the queer and conservative folks that live in Winters, Texas. Doors at 6 p.m.

Cocktails at The Secret Garden 5-7 p.m., Thursday, June 22 There’s a Secret Garden in downtown Durango, and it’s lushly located behind the Rochester Hotel, 726 East Second Ave. Big Mama Donna will usher in Pride with classic rock and blues tunes underneath the sparkling lights and greenery of Rochester’s hidden courtyard. PLATE will cater the cocktail reception that only costs $10. Ages 21 and up.

Comedy showcase at the Underground

Noon, Saturday, June 24 Marching down Main Ave. in the Pride Procession is open to anyone who wants to celebrate the history, present, and future of LGBTQI people. If you just wanna watch the gorgeousness, that’s cool, too. Queuing will begin at 11:30 a.m. by Grassburger, 726 ½ Main Ave. The parade itself will begin at noon and end at Buckley Park, 1200 Main Ave. Free participation to walk and watch. All ages.

Pride in the Park Family Festival 12:30- 6 p.m. Saturday, June 24 At the end of the parade, stop in Buckley Park, 1200 Main Ave., for music, food, and jubilant groovin’. This free fest is family-friendly and a lovely way to connect with LGBTQI folks from the Four Corners region.

Kennedy Davenport at the ACT 8:30 p.m., Saturday, June 24

Gay Therapy Comedy Night is a tongue-in-cheeklynamed showcase of local comedians taking over the Underground, the basement bar of the Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave. Comics include Stephen Harman, Juliette Ambler, Allie Wolfe, and Matt Adkinson. Dan Korman hosts the night and Fontoya Vendetta will be the featured drag performance. $10 and 21 and over.

Kennedy Davenport, former contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7, will host her Drag Extravaganza at the Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, on Saturday. Fabulousity and fierce fashion strut the ACT till 10 p.m. It’s a 21-and-over show for $25. Entry fee includes dance party after.

Art opening at the Durango Arts Center

After Kennedy Davenport sashays away from slaying the stage, the Animas City Theatre will turn into a dance pit of thumping tunes and pulsing bodies. Five bucks to get in, if you’re not already at the show.

Pride is fulla gloriously creative folks who make going to a parade seem like an art show, but there’s more to eyeball than the march on Main Ave. The Durango Art Center, 802 East Second Ave., will host the work of queer artists in the Entrada Gallery from June 21-29. Free, all-ages event.

Black Light Glow Show and dance party 8:30 p.m. (show start), Friday, June 23

David Holub/DGO

Pride Parade down Main!

7 p.m. (doors), Thursday, June 22

5-7 p.m. Friday, June 23

»» Three-sevenths of Tyler Frakes

Can’t make it to the blissed-out, enchanting circus, but want to hit up the dance party? Totally doable. The black light boogie starts at 10:30 p.m. and will cost a five-spot.

Imaginario Circus, a collection of the Four Corners’ most magnificent cirque performers, will put on a Black Light Glow Show at the Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, on Friday, June 23. From 8:30 to 10:30, bask in a superb selection of variety acts bound to astound. For $20 you get the performance and the all-night dance party afterward.

After-drag dance party at the ACT 10:30 p.m., Saturday, June 24

Durango Pride River Parade 1:30 p.m., Sunday, June 25 Sunday will cap Durango’s Pride Week by celebrating on the water with an Animas River Pride Parade Float. The river experience is free if you have your own raft or float and begins at the 32nd Street North Drop. Don’t have a float? Not an issue. Mild to Wild will lead a river parade excursion that’ll cost $20. Meet up at 1 p.m. at Mild to Wild Rafting and Jeep Trail Tours, 50 Animas View Dr. Advanced reservations are encouraged at 970-247-4789.

AND! AND! AND! This is not a complete listing of events. For more details about other events, like nightly dinners and a Sunday bingo brunch, visit http://4calliancefordiversity.org. —— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

�� Thursday, June 22, 2017 | 11

»» Celebration, remembrance,

PRIDE 2017: WHAT IT MEANS

‘I WOULD TELL PEOPLE TO LIVE THEIR LIFE, AS YOU WANT, AND LIVE IT OUT LOUD’ Alexi Grojean/ Special to DGO

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acceptance, and unity, yes, but Pride means something different to everyone

t ain’t easy being LGBTQ. Nah. Let’s reframe that. It’s totally easy and rad to be LGBTQ – because it’s completely ordinary and just the way we’re born. What’s not easy is dealing with a heteronormative world who, at times, choose to think of LGBTQ lives as “wrong,” “bad,” “not normal,” or “a lifestyle choice.” It’s been a turbulent year. David Stacy, government affairs director of the Human Rights Campaign, said, “The LGBTQ community, particularly transgender women of color, continue to face an epidemic of violence.” In 2016, the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs found a 17 percent increase from the year before in hate killings of LGBTQ people. These are not encouraging stats. They flat out show that Pride festivals matter, that safe celebrations in these days of night club shootings are important, that there are contrarians who need to open their hearts to the fact that LGBTQ folks are – wait for the shocker – just people who want to live and love fully. To celebrate this year’s festival, DGO spoke to locals about what Pride means to them. “We’ve come so far and we have no intention of turning back” Pride means getting to be yourself and not having to worry or second guess who you are or where you live. To go and Garcia have a good time and not really worry about the things that people normally worry about. I think the general population doesn’t really understand how something as simple as holding hands can be over-thought or avoided for same-sex couples. I think it’s important that we still celebrate Pride in times like these to show, “Hey, we’re not going anywhere.” People who are LGBTQ have

been around since the dawn of time and we are going to celebrate that diversity here in our community. With Pride, it’s really important that we remember the history of it. Pride started through riots. A big part of Pride that people don’t realize is remembering the history that got us through today, remembering the people who rebelled, remembering the people who died, those who fought for the freedoms we have today. We still have quite a ways to go, but we’ve come so far and we have no intention of turning back. Ryan Garcia

“It almost seems like businesses are using queer identities as a way to make money” To me, Pride is about celebrating and accepting our differences. It’s about remembering the Stonewall Continued on Page 14

�� Thursday, June 22, 2017 | 13

[pride] From Page 13

in our entire community finding pride in who they are.

Riots in 1969 and everyone who came before us who contributed to the gay rights movement. It was a long, hard-fought battle for LGBT acceptance and even today our community struggles to be afforded basic human rights. The fight is not over and that is Rupani why we continue to march and hold Pride events. I get really irritated when people pull the, “Why isn’t there a straight Pride” card because every day is straight Pride Day. Cishet people can hold their significant other’s hand in public without facing ridicule, or worse, being beaten or killed.

When I look at the Pride parade and picnic this year, I hope to see teachers, school administrators, health care professionals, and service providers in full force spanning the entire political and spiritual faith spectrums. When children and teens see people of the gender identity and sexual orientation majority out in support of minorities, it helps give them the courage they need to live another day and be who they are. Jude Harrison, MD

“This year it feels important to go out there as activists for civil rights, which is what this is”

Clark

“No one should have to live in fear”

Cohen

My uncle finally told me he was gay when he was 75. I was the first family member he told. No one should have to live in fear. Pride helps me celebrate his life. Marsha Cohen

“I dream of everyone in our entire community finding pride in who they are”

Harrison

What Pride week means to me is the opportunity to look inside and tell myself I’m OK with who I am. To look around me – and for five days in a row – see people like me and know I am not alone. And [to] see people who are not queer like me and are there in support.

Some of the people I value most this Pride are the majority status people who can look at me and say “I don’t claim to understand you, and I’ll admit sometimes I’m downright uncomfortable around you, and despite that, as one human being to another, I support you in knowing and expressing who you are.” I’ve found everyone I’ve explored this with has some way they feel different. I dream of everyone

There are ways to support the LGBTQI community in the Four Corners besides showing up to the festivities. Here are a few suggestions: DONATE: »»To the Four Corners Alliance for Diversity »»To the 4 Corners Rainbow Youth Center »»To the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico ALSO:

I’ve definitely noticed Pride becoming more corporate over recent years. Pride parades are littered with corporate floats and it almost seems like businesses are using queer identities as a way to make money. I think Pride has lost its meaning over time and has become this huge, all-inclusive celebration, but people are forgetting exactly what they’re celebrating. It is about so much more than glitter and getting drunk. Mia Rupani

SUPPORT! :

Pride isn’t necessarily a parade and something going on in a park. It’s an opportunity for people who have perhaps historically not felt safe doing things like walking down a street or hanging out in a park with their partners or in large numbers, in a visible way, where they aren’t trying to pass as a straight person.

I’ve heard people talking, people even in my own family, who don’t understand Pride. They say, “Why do you have to dress like that or be so loud and do it in front of everybody?” And it’s because that’s the only time you can ... It’s getting better, but this is why it’s getting better, because people are being active. It’s about being visible and claiming public space and safety – being visible in a literal sense and also politically, where you can look out and see that this is a community of citizens and voters and parents and all those roles. Some years feel more celebratory and some years feel more like activism. This year it feels important to go out there as activists for civil rights, which is what this is. It’s a political statement to show up or to wear a T-shirt or do any of those things. I think it’s important for people who may not feel like they have a way to voice their opinions to be able to do something as simple as attending a meeting or an event. Nicole Clark

“We have so much to be proud of, so let’s do it” Honestly, this year has been the year that I’ve been the most involved because it feels like it means something a little more. Some people are trying to take some things away. Not that Frakes there’s more at stake than there ever was, but it just means we have to get out and show that we are here and we are

The 4 Corners Rainbow Youth Center has outgrown their space. Anybody who has details on a new space, contact them at www.rainbowyouthcenter.org/contact-us

not beaten down. We have so much to be proud of, so let’s do it. Tyler Frakes

“This year, in this political climate, I think there’s a very strong need to remind people that we’re still here” To me, Pride is an opportunity for visibility of the LGBT community. It’s an opportunity for the [La Plata] community as a whole to see who we are, and also for members of the LGBT community to meet. What I like more than any of the other activities at the Cooper festival is the cocktail reception at the Rochester. I think it’s a mainstream, social event that anybody can participate in and get to know and interact with people in the community. Some of the other events are more of a display or entertainment. There are quite a few of us out here who are not the party-type, that aren’t overtly sexual – the stereotypes or misconceptions that people have in their head about the LGBT community. Pride is a space where everyone gets to express themselves. This year, in this political climate, I think there’s a very strong need to remind people that we’re still here. People should know that there is a much larger LGBT community than they will even see at the Pride Festival. It’s not necessarily a cohesive community and people don’t necessarily show up for every event. I think that’s disappointing. I think not showing up leads people to believe that it’s a small community and it’s not. H. Cooper

Continued on Page 15

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[pride]

Alexi Grojean/Special to DGO

From Page 14

do. For me, it’s a remembrance of people who came before me. The first initial Pride was a riot.

“I don’t need someone’s approval to be me” Pride, for me, is a remembrance of the people that came before me who made it easier for me to come out. I know that, in turn, my being who I am, made it a lot easier for the 20-somethings and teenagers who are coming out now. I’m personally not happy with the current administration, but [Pride] even felt different last year because Orlando had just happened. I think we’ll have more people coming out being [more] visible and vocal than normal because, as a few of my friends have said, we’re not going to take this laying down. ThorntonCooper

There are a lot of people who still don’t understand why we need to celebrate. Sometimes it’s really hard to explain to them why this is important for us to

I don’t need someone’s approval to be me. I’ve been done hiding for a long time ... I would tell people to live their life, as you want, and live it out loud. Love is love and that’s all that matters. Sandy Thornton-Cooper

“I think the biggest misconception is that you need to be gay to go party” [Pride is] an opportunity to honor the struggle that a lot of folks go through on a daily basis, especially the trans community who put their lives on the line, every day, just walking down the street sometimes. For me, it’s a recognition that this can be really hard and dangerous. Pride is a day when a lot of people don’t have to hide as much and they can come out and be supported and feel safe in the community. I think the biggest misconception is that you need to be gay to go party. [Laughs] I hear a lot of people say,

“Oh, we can’t march because we’re not gay or don’t identify as ‘other’ in some way.” That’s not the case. I would love to see the streets just flooded with people. I’ll march with the [Four Corners Rainbow] Youth Center. We’ll have a booth in Buckley Park after the parade. I Blaisdell just hope people come out and support everybody. I think Durango’s a great community. We have a long way to go in the way that we support our folks here, but we are moving in the right direction. Rowan Blaisdell, co-director of the Four Corners Rainbow Youth Center For details on Pride events, visit http://4calliancefordiversity.org/events. These interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity. —— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

�� Thursday, June 22, 2017 | 15

[ weed ]

[review]

Green Poison

Elevated Discourse Meggie J

What is it?

Is opioid epidemic remedy right in front of us?

oday in America we face a national health crisis. An epidemic that killed nearly 35,000 people in 2015 alone, opioid overdose is the number one cause of accidental death in the United States. Nearly 2 million Americans are addicted to some form of opioid, which are synthetic narcotics such as heroin, morphine, hydrocodone, oxycodone, and fentanyl, which resemble natural-occurring opiates, such as opium, and react with the brain’s opioid receptors. The majority are addicted to prescription painkillers, legally given to them by physicians. With recent crackdowns on physicians over-prescribing painkillers, many patients have turned to the streets to find a fix, putting themselves in extreme physical and criminal danger. When the number of accidental overdoses doubles in 10 year’s time, it’s time to find some alternatives for people caught in a system that punishes people as addicts instead of helping to create an avenue for their healing. Medical marijuana could be an important tool in helpGet help: ing fight this Looking for help with an opioid epidemic that problem? Contact the American has touched Addiction Centers at http:// so many lives, americanaddictioncenters.org including that or call (877) 959-5236 of a dear friend of mine. My friend’s story started when her son, Nick, a varsity athlete,was injured early in his senior year in wrestling. He had a promising future, a full-ride scholarship on the line, a chance at state. He was given a soft cast for the injury to his left wrist, and an ongoing prescription for Oxycontin. His parents were assured that there would be no danger of addiction. Nick would be able to wrestle with his arm in the cast while on Oxycontin, a time-release version of oxycodone, and when his arm healed and the pain was gone, he would simply stop taking the medicine. And while Nick did go on to wrestle, eventually winning state, and securing his college scholarship, his relationship with opioids was far from over. After graduating high school, and making his way to college on his wrestling scholarship, Nick re-injured himself. When his roommate offered some old pills he had, he gladly accepted. After his re-injury and the reintroduction of opioids into his system, Nick began to buy off the street, eventually getting caught, causing legal problems to layer on top of the medical problems he faced with addiction. Nick’s relationship with pills began in an trusted environment with his doctor and his parents. In 2014, physicians in the United States wrote 259 mil-

lion prescriptions for opioid painkillers for their patients for a plethora of reasons: injuries, surgeries, dental work, chronic pain caused by illnesses, diseases, and physical disabilities. Opioids are the standard go-to medicine in the current pharmaceutical climate, directly resulting in the skyrocketing number of patients addicted to and overdosing from opioids. However, a recent study in the JAMA of Internal Medicine gives hope that this trend may be easing. States that legalized medical marijuana are now seeing a dramatic decrease in opioid-related deaths of 25 percent. While some medical applications for opiate derivatives are needed, a massive decrease in prescriptions has been called for, resulting in a desperate need for alternatives. Medical marijuana, rich in CBD, available in many delivery systems besides traditional smoking, is a viable, relatively non-addictive, non-lethal alternative for pain relief. And for many currently battling opioid addiction, medical marijuana may help not only with the physical symptoms of opioid withdrawal, but also mental and emotional symptoms, including anxiety and depression. As we begin to sort out what these statistics could mean for fighting this epidemic, we run headlong into federal laws that keep marijuana from being reclassified from a Schedule I narcotic (meaning no medical applications), thus preventing further scientific research, leaving many people trapped in a cycle of addiction. After years of struggle and getting caught up in the legal system, Nick went from being a young patient, in the prime of his life, to an addict, to a criminal. This is just one example of many stories of patients who depended on doctors to treat them, but who instead find themselves addicted and on the opposite side of the law. Although Nick is now clean, the ramifications of his opioid use will stay with him for life. Research suggests that one solution to this epidemic might be sitting right in front of us. Anecdotal evidence suggests that medical marijuana could be a life-saving alternative to opioids. Last year prescriptions for opioids fell in Colorado, suggesting that patients with access to medical marijuana may be choosing to use it over prescription opioids. According to one study, many ailments that had been previously treated with opioids could also be alleviated by medical marijuana, such as pain management, resulting in fewer prescriptions. More research remains to be done,but in the meantime, on the front line of the opioid epidemic, medical marijuana is gaining traction as an invaluable tool to stave off this national health crisis. Meggie J is a published poet and freelance writer living in the Four Corners. She is an avid reader, rafter, and connoisseur of cannabis. She can be reached at coxwell.meggiej@gmail.com.

Green Poison is a indica-dominant hybrid testing at 22.9 percent THC. Its lineage is a proprietary secret created by Sweet Seeds. Good for relaxation, insomnia, and anxiety. The effects Don’t be fooled by the sweet, light aroma, this is some heady indica. A few hits give a light, relaxed, euphoric feeling, relaxing the body as well as the mind. A few more hits and the fog rolls in. Sip lightly on this concoction unless you are prepared for a Details: bit of a nap. $17 a gram, $50 The smell an eighth, $230 an Light and fresh ounce at Telluride and pungent, Green Room, Green Poi250 South Fir in son smells of Telluride. (970) sweetness with 728-7999 a little tang, late summer nights, and deep, dank dreams. Sharp high skunk notes, mixed with a round floral finish create this poisonous scent. The look Green Poison has tapered, long, tight, light green buds, covered in a vast array of crystals and trichromes wrapped in a fine light sweater of tangerine, orange hairs. The taste Oh so sweet, fresh, and very light. Green Poison is refreshing, not unlike a crisp white wine on a hot summer day. There is a slightly nostalgic tart taste that complements this sweetness, like a 10-cent pack of pastel smarties. Its taste is a paradox to its effects; this is some heavy weed with a light taste. The final verdict Wonderful and refreshingly light taste and aroma with a fantastic relaxation phenomenon. This has a smooth taste, it’s easy, and therefore a bit dangerous, as you can smoke a lot before you realize just how high you are. Take it easy; it only takes a few puffs to get you into your couch, and a few more, you might be there for hours. —— Meggie J

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[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

Don’t forget about your trim, growers ... but first, this

efore I get to it, I have to say this: It appears that, under the direction of Jeff Sessions (never have I disliked a public figure so quickly and completely as I find myself disliking this douche), the culture war on the mary-ju-wanna front has been officially rejoined (medical, dude? Really???). I have not the energy to track all the shenanigans that he and his toadies are throwing at the wall, but I offer a few thoughts: »» (1) The background research they are using to justify their defense of their financial backers from the for-profit prison, pharmaceutical, alcohol, and tobacco industries would not hold water if presented as supporting evidence for a high school research paper (and I graded roughly 1 million and one high school research papers in a former life, so I know of what I type) »» (2) Things are going to get interesting soon. »» (3) Now would be a good time to remind your legislators that a whole lot of us are ecstatic to fall under the forward-thinking jurisdiction of Colorado’s cannabis policies – which the overwhelming majority follows to the letter and have enhanced the quality of our lives by doing so – and their defense of said policies would engender, how you say, “mucho gratitudo” from us come election season. This ends what would be needless editorial commentary if we did not have an ass-backwards buffoon in the role of attorney general. I will now proceed to great ideas for using what you may have previously viewed as “waste” after harvesting this year’s cannabis crop. After the planting and watering are done, after the big fan leaves (which do not have psychoactive properties but can be used for juicing or as an excellent ingredient in compost) are re-

moved, while the buds hang in silent darkness drying, waiting to be jarred and cured, you will have an additional bounty that can be put to use to make several concoctions that will make your smile even wider this autumn: Your trim. The trim consists of the following: (1) The sugar leaves – single “blades” protruding from the main buds which are covered in richly resinous THC crystals and, if smoked by themselves, would probably create a high on par with the “Brown Frown” strains of yesteryear; (2) The popcorn buds – tiny, underdeveloped flowers that, due to the time of their development or placement within the canopy, which does not afford them enough light to properly develop into true, useful end product; (3) All the other assorted green material that gets cut away in the process of revealing the cream of your crop. Trim makes up the secret stash that unknowing growers may discard at the end of the growing cycle, not realizing the value in producing such excellent cannabis-related offshoots as infused oils, butter, hash, tincture, tea, and even milk (a favorite use in parts of India where it is called bhang lassi; it is associated with Shiva worship and they hold festivals around its consumption). Next week (as long as ol’ Sessions doesn’t go full youknowwhat) we will begin to take a look at some of the recipes involved with these wonderful surprise uses for what you might have formerly viewed as garbage along with the method for the process of decarboxylation, which activates and converts raw cannabis in order to produce useable THC. Be well ’til then. Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

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�� Thursday, June 22, 2017 | 17

[love and sex]

Savage Love | Dan Savage

My dream date is in an open relationship, dammit I am a 34-year-old straight woman. I’m monogamous and have an avoidant attachment style. I’ve been seeing a guy I really like. He’s just my type, the kind of person I’ve been looking for my whole life. Thing is, he’s in an open relationship with someone he’s been with for most of his adult life. He was sneaky – he didn’t reveal he was in an open relationship until the second date, but by then I was infatuated and felt like I wasn’t in control of my actions. So what I’ve learned is that poly couples often seek out others to create NRE or “new relationship energy,” which may help save their relationship in the long run. I was deeply hurt to learn about NRE. What about the people who are dragged into a situation by some charmer in an attempt to breathe new life into a stale relationship? I feel like no one cares about the people on the side, the ones who might be perceived to be cheating with someone’s partner, as some sort of competitor, a hussy. How can I reconcile the fact that I’ve fallen for someone who sees me as a tool to be discarded once the excitement wears off? I know we all have a choice, but we also know what it’s like to be infatuated by someone who seems perfect. I feel like such a loser. Sobbing Here And Making Errors “One of life’s hardest lessons is this: Two people can be absolutely crazy in love with each other and still not be good partners,” said Franklin Veaux, coauthor of “More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory” (morethantwo.com). “If you’re monogamous and you meet someone you’re completely smitten with who isn’t, the best thing to do is acknowledge that you’re incompatible and go your separate ways. It hurts and it sucks, but there it is.” This perfect, sneaky guy who makes you feel like a loser and a hussy? He told you he was in an open relationship on your second date. You knew

he wasn’t “your type” or “perfect” for you the second time you laid eyes on him, SHAME, and you needed to go your separate ways at that point. And I’m not buying your excuse (“I was too infatuated!”). What if he had revealed that he was a recreational bed wetter? Or a serial killer? Or Jeffrey Lord? Or all of the above? Surely you would’ve dumped him then. Veaux advocates ethical polyamory – it’s right there in the title of his book – and he thinks this guy did you wrong by not disclosing his partner’s existence right away. “Making a nonmonogamous relationship work requires a commitment to communication, honesty, and transparency,” said Veaux. “Concealing the fact that you’re in a relationship is a big violation of all three, and no good will come of it.” I have a slightly different take. Straight women in open relationships have an easier time finding men willing to [eff] and/or date them; their straight male counterparts have a much more difficult time. Stigma and double standards are at work here – she’s sexually adventurous; he’s a cheating bastard – and waiting to disclose the fact that you’re poly (or kinky or HIV-positive or a cammer) is a reaction to/workaround for that. It’s also a violation of poly best practices, like Veaux says, but the stigma is a violation, too. Waiting to disclose to your partner, kink, HIV status, etc., can prompt the other person to weigh their assumptions and prejudices about poly/kinky/poz people against the living, breathing person they’ve come to know. Still, disclosure needs to come early – within a date or two, certainly before anyone gets [effed] – so the other person can bail if poly/kinky/poz is a deal breaker. As for that new relationship energy stuff ... “There are, in truth, polyamorous people who are NRE junkies,” said Veaux. “Men and women who chase new relationships in pursuit of that emotional fix. They’re not very common, but they do exist, and alas they tend to leave a lot of destruction in

their wake.” But your assumptions about how NRE works are wrong, SHAME. Seeing your partner in the throes of NRE doesn’t bring the primary couple closer together; it often places a strain on the relationship. Opening up a relationship can certainly save it (if openness is a better fit for both partners), but NRE isn’t a log the primary couple tosses on the emotional/erotic fire. It’s something a poly person experiences with a new partner, not something a poly person enjoys with an established one. And there are lots of examples of long-term poly relationships out there – established triads, quads, quints – so your assumption about being discarded once NRE wears off is also off, SHAME. There are no guarantees, however. If this guy were single and looking for a monogamous relationship, you could nevertheless discover you’re not right for each other and wind up being discarded or doing the discarding yourself. I’m going to give the final word to our guest expert ... “Having an avoidant attachment style complicates things, because one of the things that can go along with avoidant attachment is idealizing partners who are inaccessible or unavailable,” said Veaux. “That can make it harder to let go. But if you’re radically incompatible with the person you love, letting go is likely your only healthy choice. Good luck!” I’m gay and married. My husband regularly messes around with this one guy who treats me like I’m a cuckold. He will send me a pic of my husband sucking his [rooster], for example, and a text message meant to degrade me. But I’m not a cuckold and I don’t find these messages sexy. My husband wants me to play along because it gets this guy off. Advice? Can’t Understand Cuckold Kink It depends, CUCK. If you’re upset by these messages – if they hurt your

feelings, are damaging your sexual connection to your husband, are traumatizing – don’t play along. But if you find them silly – if they just make you roll your eyes – then play along. Respond positively/abjectly/insincerely, then delete. Not to please the guy sending the messages (who you don’t owe anything), but to please your husband (who’ll wind up owing you). I am a straight male grad student in my mid-20s. My girlfriend wants to have sex with another girl in our class. Neither of us have had a threesome before, but both of us are game. Unfortunately, I am not attracted to this girl. When we started dating, my girlfriend told me that she is sexually attracted to women. We agreed to be monogamous except that she could have sex with other women as part of a threesome with me. She is not hell-bent on having sex with our classmate, but she would like to and says it’s up to me. I don’t want her to suppress her same-sex tendencies, but I am jealous at the thought of her having sex with someone else while I am not participating. What should I do? Feeling Out Moments Orgasmic You should take yes for an answer, FOMO – or take your girlfriend’s willingness to say no to this opportunity for an answer. She’s into this woman but willing to pass on her because you aren’t. There are billions of other women on the planet – some in your immediate vicinity – so you two have lots of other options. Unless you find a reason to object to every woman your girlfriend finds attractive, you aren’t guilty of suppressing her same-sex tendencies. Dan Savage is a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist writing for The Stranger in Seattle. Contact him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter and listen to his podcast every week at savagelovecast.com.

18 | Thursday, June 22, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening] Thursday

workshop, 9 a.m., Navajo State

Yoga and meditation workshops for veterans and their families, 7 a.m., Durango

T-Rex Express, 10 a.m., 11:30

Elks Lodge, 901 East Second Ave., 247-2296. Guided nature walks, 9:45

a.m., Purgatory Resort, 100 Skier Place, www.purgatoryresort.com. Durango High Noon Rotary Club meeting, noon, Double-

Tree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, www.durangohighnoonrotary.com. Southwest summer storytelling series, 1 p.m., Delaney

Library, Center of Southwest Studies, Fort Lewis College, 1000 Rim Drive, www.fortlewis.edu. Dance for Balance, 3 p.m.,

Absolute Physical Therapy and Wellness, 277 East Eighth Ave., 764-4094. Burger and Band Night with Kirk James Band, 5

p.m., $20, James Ranch Terraces, 33846 U.S. Highway 550, www. jamesranch.net. Courtesy of The Cannondolls

»» The Cannondolls will play a free concert at 5:30 p.m. Thursday at Buckley Park in Durango.

DGO’s weekend picks in or near Durango Cannondolls bring Americana to Buckley Park

It’s damn good, ya’ll.

Summer’s here and so is Concert Hall at the Park where FLC brings damn fine music to Buckley Park, 1200 Main Ave. From 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 on Thursday, June 22, The Cannondolls will give a free, all-ages concert.

New art exhibit at the DAC

Get a lawn chair, a blanket, or your dancing shoes ready. The Cannondolls are known for their heavenly harmonies, quirky humor, and lively shows. Details at www.durangoconcerts.com

Bluegrass at the Balcony Arkansauce will holler out Southern roots music at Balcony Backstage, 600 Main Ave., on Friday, June 23. Show starts at 9:30 p.m. and goes all night long. 21 and up. You’ll have more money for beer ’cause it’s a free show. Info at www.balconybarandgrill.com

From book to movie See “Neither Wolf Nor Dog” at the Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, while you still can. The show costs only $9 and starts at 5:30 p.m. on Thursday, June 22. Adapted from the novel by Kent Nerburn, “Neither Wolf Nor Dog” is about contemporary Native American life as seen through a 95-year-old Lakota elder.

The lowdown: www.animascitytheatre.com

The 41st Annual Juried Exhibit opens at the Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave. from 5 to 7 p.m. on Friday, June 23. The show will be a mixed media roundup of works picked by Benjamin Hickey, curator of Collections and Exhibitions at the Masur Museum of Art in Louisiana.

Free concert in the park: The Cannondolls, 5:30 p.m.,

Buckley Park, 1200 Main Ave., www.durangoconcerts.com.

“A Celebration of Quilts” show and sale, 10 a.m., La

Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave., 749-5582. Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m.,

Jean Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 247-7700. Kirk James, 5 p.m., Serious

Texas BBQ, 650 Camino del Rio, 259-9507. Pete Giuliani and Richard Leavitt, 5-9 p.m., Animas River

Cafe, DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, 259-6580. Black Velvet Duo, 6 p.m., Sky

Ute Casino Resort, 14324 Highway 172, 563-7777. The Legend of Danny Boy, 7

p.m., $19-$24, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160. Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260. Night hike and campfire,

Black Velvet Duo, 6 p.m., Dal-

ton Ranch Golf Club, 589 County Road 252, 247-8774.

Sunday

Jack Ellis, 7 p.m., Office Spiritori-

Park and nature jeopardy,

um, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Friday

9:30 a.m., Navajo State Park, Amphitheater, 1526 County Road 982, 883-2208.

41st annual juried exhibit,

T-Rex Express, 10 a.m., 11:30

5 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

a.m., 1 p.m., $24-$32, Railroad Depot, 479 Main Ave., 872-4607.

Andy Janowsky, 7 p.m., Office

“A Celebration of Quilts” show and sale, 10 a.m., La

Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260. Black Velvet Trio, 8 p.m., Derailed Pour House, 725 Main Ave., 247-5440. Neil Nelson and Steel Rodeo, 8 p.m., Billy Goat Saloon,

39848 U.S. Highway 160, 884-9155. Three Springs Plaza Pics,

8:30 p.m., Three Springs Plaza, 175 Mercado St., 764-6000.

More info at http://durangoarts.org.

Saturday

Quilt show, m-effers!!!

Clean Commute Week Farmers Market kickoff,

More info at www.facebook.com/LaPlataQuiltGuild

a.m., 1 p.m., $24-$32, Railroad Depot, 479 Main Ave., 872-4607.

9:30 p.m., Navajo State Park, Amphitheater, 1526 County Road 982, 883-2208.

Awards for Best in Show, second, and third place will be awarded at the free, all-ages reception.

You may not expect it, but we here at DGO think quilts are freakin’ awesome and the people who make them are patient sons-aguns who put a whole lot of heart into their art. Get an eyeful of fabric folk art at the La Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave., on Saturday, June 24, through June 25. It’s $3 to get in and check out the work of local quilters. You can be dang sure we’re filling out a ticket for the annual raffle quilt, too.

Park, Visitor Center Pavilion, 1526 County Road 982, 883-2208.

8 a.m., Durango Farmers Market, First National Bank of Durango, 259 W. Ninth St., www.durangogov. org/cleancommuteweek. Durango Farmers Market,

8 a.m., 259 W. Ninth St., www.durangofarmersmarket.com. Home Builders Association yard sale, 8 a.m., Three Springs

Plaza, 175 Mercado St., 764-6000. Bayfield Farmers Market,

8:30 a.m., Bayfield Roadside Park, U.S. Highway 160, 884-9544. Pine-cone bird feeder

Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave., 749-5582. Yoga with Kelli, 10 a.m., $8, Absolute Physical Therapy and Wellness, 277 East Eighth Ave., 764-4094. Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m.,

Jean Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 247-7700. Black Velvet Duo, 6 p.m., Cyprus Cafe, 725 East Second Ave., 385-6884. The Bluemoon Ramblers,

7 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Monday Paul Wilbert memorial passeggiata, 4:30 p.m., Buck-

ley Park, 1200 Main Ave., www. durangogov.org/cleancommuteweek. Clean Commute Week community forum, 5 p.m.,

Carver Brewing Co., 1022 Main Ave., 259-2545, www.durangogov. org/cleancommuteweek. Continued on Page 20

�� Thursday, June 22, 2017 | 19

[happening]

[democracy] Bike-to-Work Day, 7 a.m., Durango Coffee Co., 730 Main Ave., www.durangogov. org/cleancommuteweek.

From Page 19 Solo jazz guitar, 6 p.m., Cyprus Cafe, 725 East Second Ave., 385-6884.

Commercial energy efficiency incentives lunch-and-learn, noon,

Pete Giuliani, 6-9:30 p.m., Farview Lodge, Mesa Verde National Park, Mesa Top Ruins Road, 529-4421.

Trump doesn’t care about HIV FROM THE FILES OF

Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380. Secret Garden summer concert series, 5 p.m., $10, Rochester Hotel, 726

News you need to know

900 Main Ave., 403-1200.

$19-$24, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

Six experts resigned from President Trump’s Presidential Advisory Council on NOT HIV/AIDS (PANORMAL CHA) because they believe that, “the Trump Administration does not take the on-going epidemic or the needs of people living with HIV seriously.”

“Cooks and Corks” wine and appetizers, 6 p.m., $45, Four Leaves Winery,

Submissions

Why this is not normal

To submit listings for publication in DGO and www.dgomag.com,

Since 1995, PACHA has advised presidents on HIV/AIDS issues. The general public may think that issues surrounding HIV/AIDS are “under control,” but they’re not. For 20 years, life-saving drugs have been available, but only 40 percent of folks living with HIV in the U.S. have access to them.

Tuesday Master’s Men Colorado, 6:30 a.m., DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, 2596580.

East Second Ave., 385-1920. Pete Giuliani, 5-9 p.m., Animas River Cafe, DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, 259-6580.

Pedal vs. Metal Challenge, noon, Buckley Park, 1200 Main Ave., www.durangogov.org/cleancommuteweek.

Dave Mensch, 5:30 p.m., Three Springs Plaza, 175 Mercado St., 764-6000.

Tim Telep, 6 p.m., Farview Lodge, Mesa

Verde National Park, Mesa Top Ruins Road, 529-4421.

Tim Telep, 6 p.m., Farview Lodge, Mesa

Verde National Park, Mesa Top Ruins Road, 529-4421.

The Legend of Danny Boy, 7 p.m.,

Tuesday jam, 6 p.m., Steaming Bean,

528 Main Ave., 403-8182. Useless Knowledge Bowl Trivia+, 7 p.m., Durango Brewing Co., 3000 Main Ave., 247-3396. The Legend of Danny Boy, 7 p.m.,

$19-$24, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

D G O DEALS

Wednesday

visit www.swscene.com, click “Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form, and submit. Listings at www.swscene.com will appear on www.dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www.swscene.com is free and takes one day to process.

HERCULES

After Trump’s inauguration, he took down the Office of National AIDS Policy website and has yet to reinstate it. He’s also yet to appoint anyone to head the Office of National AIDS Policy so the office is currently closed. His corporate-friendly obsession with ending the Affordable Care Act will hinder, even more, people’s access to education and treatment for HIV/AIDS. Scott A. Schoettes, the HIV project leader of LAMBDA Legal, wrote via Newsweek, “The Trump Administration has no strategy to address the on-going HIV/AIDS epidemic, seeks zero input from experts to formulate HIV policy, and – most concerning – pushes legislation that will harm people living with HIV and halt or reverse important gains made in the fight against this disease.” It’s not normal for an administration to so ignore a council that experts believe advocating outside of the White House is a more effective strategy for change than working for the president. —— Patty Templeton

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To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 �� Thursday, June 22, 2017 | 21

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19)

in your sign will boost your energy.)

This is an excellent week for of all kinds of negotiations. In fact, it’s a good week for business. Enjoy short trips and chats with neighbors, siblings and relatives.

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22)

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Look for ways to boost your income or make a profit this week. Some of you might travel for work because this is a good week for business. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Today the Moon is in your sign, dancing with lucky Jupiter and creating a pleasant give-and-take between you and everyone else. Enjoy your world and your week. CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

Solitude in beautiful surroundings will delight you this week if you can make time for it. (The Sun, Mercury and Mars

You will like talking to friends and groups this week. In particular, you will enjoy a conversation with a female acquaintance. Charitable work also will appeal to you. VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) People notice you this week. In fact, personal details about your private life may become public. Fear not – the press you’ll receive is positive. You are admired. LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) Travel will please you this week because you want to expand your world and your life experience. If you can’t travel, you will enjoy talking to people from other cultures and countries. Do something different. SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

This is an excellent week to discuss how to divide an inheritance or how to handle shared property because people will be mutually generous and cooperative. It’s a good week to settle disputes. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) This is a great week to schmooze with members of the general public. Your interactions with partners and friends also will be positive.

cause this is a playful, fun-loving week. Furthermore, relationships with others are harmonious. PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) Discussions with female family members will be positive this week. Whatever you decide will be an improvement; furthermore, it could be an idea leading to a big change. BORN THIS WEEK

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

You are a talented, dedicated perfectionist who can be stubborn. This is a wait-and-see time, a year when you will find yourself more in the background and in a stage of development. It is a time for cooperation and building relationships that will benefit you in the future. Because your success lies in interacting with other people, be friendly!

Make plans for social outings, sports events and fun times with children be-

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Business and commerce are favored this week. In addition, this is a positive week at work for you, which means you are a winner! Work-related travel will please you.

weekly bestsellers June 11-17 »»All the Light We Cannot See, by Anthony Doerr (Paperback) »»Milk and Honey, by Rupi Kaur (Paperback) »»Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, by Neil Degrasse Tyson (Hardcover) »»The Funniest Joke Book Ever!, by Bathroom Reader’s Institute (Paperback) »»Lilac Girls, by Martha Hall Kelly (Paperback) »»The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood (Paperback) »»The Woman in Cabin 10, by Ruth Ware (Paperback) »»You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, by

Jen Sincero (Paperback) »»The Nightingale, by Kristin Hannah (Paperback) »»Everything, Everything, by Nicola Yoon (Paperback)

22 | Thursday, June 22, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[Durango’s stories, told in their own words]

First Person | Cyle Talley

‘... THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT VIDEO GAMES, THAT WE FAIL TO PAY ATTENTION TO

THE GREAT THINGS THAT COME FROM THEM’

»» Brett Masse, on his love of video games and their place in popular culture I know Brett Masse as an artist, a photographer, someone who can tell me about astrophysics without completely losing me, and a guy who is constantly working on his VW Bug – not a guy who plays video games. So when he tells me that he can’t believe how cool video games have become, I can’t help but ask him to tell me more. I tell his story here, in his own words.

he first video games I remember playing are “Super Mario,” “The Legend of Zelda,” or “Castlevania.” Eventually we got Game Boys and completely murdered my parents’ wallets in AA batteries. They think [the Game Boy] was a great invention for road trips, but they must’ve taken out a second mortgage for AAs alone. They probably could’ve retired early. I had four friends growing up. Granted, it was Bayfield and I didn’t go to church or any place that someone who grows up in Bayfield has to be a part of to make friends. It was video games. That’s how I made friends. I remember playing Game Boy and being bullied and made fun of. Nobody liked “Star Wars,” certainly no one gave a shit about “Star Trek.” And now all of that stuff is popular! I worked with a man who has a family with three kids, and they’re a “Doctor Who” family, and I remember feeling pity for them. “Oh, you poor, beautiful souls. You’re going to be so jaded by the time you get out of high school.” But the dad was bragging to me, saying, “That’s all any of them [teenagers] do! They throw around obscure ‘Doctor Who’ jokes, and play video games, and it’s cool!” I was shocked! I don’t understand how that happened! I don’t want to be the bitter guy who suffered and now who wants others to suffer the way that he did. You know, “Ah! You should suffer for your interests and love for things! How dare you be genuinely interested in something!” But it does feel weird that something I had to hide is now a badge of

Cyle Talley/DGO

»» Brett Masse honor. Does that mean we won? My brother hosts a bi-monthly LAN party at LPEA and it’s been going for over 15 years now. There’s a solid community around these things. It goes from 6 p.m. to 7 a.m., and we just play. There’s a lot of yelling. There’s a lot of shit-talking and shouting and I think it probably sounds like one of the most hostile possible environments when you first walk in, but it’s actually the most tight-knit group of camaraderie I’ve ever seen. You’re shit-talking guys who you’ll be the best man for at their wedding. And gamer shit-talk is the best because it’s fueled by a sugar-high and primal rage. My parents never got video games, and they still don’t. But they never told us that it was a dumb thing to do. My mom, bless her heart, even gave it a shot once, but I unintentionally nipped that one in the bud. For some reason, I thought that the thing

she ought to try was 1 v. 1 against me in “Halo.” I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea. “Here, Mom. Not only is this a competitive game, but you also have to learn these complex controls in three dimensions on a controller you’ve never held, but which I have basically been bred to manipulate.” It ended poorly and very quickly. I was trying to be really encouraging, but my enthusiasm was pretty misguided. That said, my parents were good at giving us balance. For every hour that we spent playing video games, there were a couple spent outside. I’ve always taken the position that my interest in video games and comics and all of that is exactly the same as my interests in movies or reading or photography – they’re just another way to tell a good story. It just happens to be a brand new art medium that is experiencing the same growing pains that comic books, with TV and radio, even rock ’n’ roll have experienced. The exciting thing is that video games are a combination of all of these forms of media: there’s music, art, performance, strategy. And then there are all of these unintended, co-arisen properties about them that nobody could’ve foreseen. For instance, the multi-player aspect. “Pong” was multi-player, but it couldn’t have foreseen you playing with people that you’ve never met, who speak a language you do not, and in a country you’ve never heard of. And yet, you can play a game together, and interact in meaningful ways. We say video games are dangerous in much the same way that people were asking, “What are these rap lyrics telling our kids?!”, or “Why is Elvis moving like that?! He’s seducing our poor daughters!” Not to say that there aren’t adverse effects, but there are so many questions about video games, that we fail to pay attention to the great things that come from them – camaraderie, community, shared experiences. People are getting to explore their personal identities – gender, sexuality, their selves – through avatars, and they’re finding acceptance for it. Through video games. That’s amazing. Cyle Talley will watch sportsball with you anytime you want. Email him at: cyle@cyletalley.com

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