Go Big With Your Lawn Games

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, June 29, 2017

DGO

GO

BIG

WITH YOUR

LAWN GAMES

From Yard-zee to bowling – oversized versions of games will make your backyard party an enormous hit

Also: Bohemian Burlesque Society to shake up the Strater, El Moro’s Lucas Hess, Elder Grown, and to reschedule or deschedule cannabis?

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DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 2 Number 36

June 29, 2017

Chief Executive Officer

11 Outdoor party

gadgets to amp your

Fourth of July

Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising David Habrat

Behold, the high-tech gadgets like the Grillbot (left) and clever accessories you’ll want at your Independence Day barbecue.

V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis Founding Editors Amy Maestas David Holub

375-4551 Staff writer Patty Templeton ptempleton@bcimedia.com Contributors Katie Cahill Katie Clancy Christopher Gallagher

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Alexi Grojean

The Art of Seduction On July 3, The Bohemian Burlesque Society will exalt the female and male forms in “The Art of Seduction” at the Henry Strater Theatre. There’ll be dancing in pairs, dancing for stares, gymnast flair, elegant pole dancing, and velvet sounds that rub and rouse.

Meggie J Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch Cooper Stapleton Cyle Talley Robert Alan Wendeborn Advertising Reader Services

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

Love it or Hate it

5

Vintage News

8

Sound

8

All growns up The sibling battles in local band Elder Grown are non-existent. Perhaps brothers Josh, John, and Paul Hoffman got their fighting over and done with at a young age. They bring their brand of funk, rock, hip-hop and jam to the Animas City Theatre June 30.

Tell us what you think!

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know?

Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

8

10 Beer 16 Weed Elevated Discourse

While many players in the cannabis industry agree that cannabis should not be classified as a Schedule I drug, the reclassification process has the potential to move marijuana into Schedule II, possibly creating a host of issues for the burgeoning marijuana industry.

16

Seeing Through 17 the Smoke

18 Savage Love 19 Happening 20 DGO Deals 22 Horoscope/ puzzles 22 Pages

23 First Person

23 First Person

Jake Padilla, on improvising in both music and in life.

247-3504 375-4570

4

Album Reviews 9

16 To reschedule or

deschedule, that is

the question

dholub@bcimedia.com

From the Editor

Downtown Lowdown

Editor/ creative director David Holub

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ON THE COVER Boy Trump, star of DGO’s stop-motion animation series “Donald Trump is ... Child Lecturer,” plays a game of Yard-zee last week. He won, of course.

Frankly, he’s tired of winning.

David Holub/DGO

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

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@dg

dg

[CTRL-A]

[ love it or hate it ]

David Holub |DGO editor

Country music taps into a universal longing, lament

“D

avy White. Where is he tonight?

He’s sleeping with her in a Tennessee town and he’s fine. I think I lost my mind. And my wasted time.

I’m dreaming alone in a hotel bed that he’s mine.”

I heard these words coming from the radio as I drove past Hesperus last week, from a song I hadn’t heard before. Not normally a radio listener, I happened upon it between podcasts.

I gathered the song was new, but the two women’s harmonizing voices reminded me of something from the early ’60s, a cross between Patsy Cline and the Everly Brothers. I looked it up later and discovered the song, “He’s Fine,” by The Secret Sisters (Laura and Lydia Rogers).

I don’t know if it was the lyrics – “Strangers know the songs I write. They come to hear me sing at night. They don’t know I’ve paid the cost. They don’t know what I lost.” – or the sweeping and droning strings or the deep, steady beat kept on a tom-tom, or the lament and longing I heard in their voices, but it filled me with lament and longing, too. The song grabbed me and I couldn’t turn it off.

The emotions I felt were palpable, taking me back to people I have hurt, loves I have walked away from. But how did this song catch me so off-guard, sending me straight to the past? It seemed almost magical.

Except it wasn’t at all. This is what music can do, and one particular kind of music does it better than any: country. But not any kind of country – classic country in particular (and those artists who emulate it).

A number of years ago, I heard a story on the podcast “Radiolab” where a Columbia University anthropologist of music, Aaron Fox, talked about how country musicians, like Dolly Parton and Don Williams, would sell out 40,000seat soccer stadiums – in Africa. It was the stories in their songs, people would tell him, but not stories of pickups or trains or Mama dying or gettin’ outta

prison. What they connected to was the larger story, the stories of migration and moving, of regret and yearning for something simpler, of looking around and longing for the green, green grass of home.

So think about when country music (and its companions, like bluegrass and old time) began to take off in the U.S., the early 1920s. What else was happening then? It was right around the time, 1920 in fact, when the U.S. crossed the threshold from rural living to urban living. Country music gained significant popularity at a time when most people had moved from the country to cities. People were longing for home, for simpler times. The same thing was happening in Africa decades later.

But wait. These American songs were sung in English, a language many of the African fans didn’t speak. The message, Fox said, is in the music. It’s inherent in the instruments, the reason why The Secret Sisters nearly made me weep.

Think about the instruments unique to country music: Steel guitars are near-perfect mimics of crying human voices. There are lonesome fiddles made to sound like wailing. There are twangy dobros and slide guitars. There are vocal techniques like a “cry break,” kind of mini yodel, or, like The Secret Sisters, bendy vocalizations that emulate steel guitars.

I like to think how seemingly magical these techniques can be, and no better example than Sturgill Simpson’s “The Promise,” a cover of the 1988 song by the short-lived When in Rome. The original is quite forgettable with its up-tempo newwave beat. But with a steel guitar and a croaky voice reminiscent of Merle Haggard, Simpson soaks it with sadness and longing.

I don’t care at all for much of the new pop-country with its testosterone, beer and pickups and America. Maybe it’s me longing for the musical past. But, man, listen to George Jones sing anything and try not to think back, try not to long for something simpler, try not to cry. It won’t be your fault. It’s in the music.

Disco Love it

Oh my moaning, glitter Christ, are you kidding me? Donna Summer is a sighing, sensual sensation in “I Feel Love.” It’s like her voice is a velvet glove rubbing your ass while she whisper-teases you. Goal: to feel as sexy as that song sounds at least once a day.

Who doesn’t like disco? Assholes. That’s who. How can you not like mirror balls, Rick James, gold lamé, and going out of your mind on a lit-up dance floor to Chic’s “Le Freak”? Disco was and is a reason to party, to lose your shit in the glittery night with other wild-eyed rogues.

And, I’m not sorry, I LOVE the song “Do You Think I’m Sexy,” by Rod Stewart. It’s infectious pop perfection equally as fantastic to belt out in the car as to wiggle to in the shower. It makes me want a three-piece, fitted silver suit just so I can strip out of it while singing to myself and walking toward a full-length mirror.

Get your dancing shoes on because Saturday is coming, and we’re gonna follow the call of the disco ball.

—— Patty Templeton

Hate it Don’t you hate it when people are bossy, up in yo bizness, always telling you what to do? Don’t you hate it when people say you should do this or shouldn’t do that? This is disco.

Whether it’s telling you to “Get Up and Boogie, That’s Right,” or to “Do the Hustle,” or to “Get Down On It,” disco seems to always know what’s best for everyone else.

I mean, is the four-on-the-floor beat not enough?

Are the funky bass lines not funky enough for me to shake what I got?

Is it not enough, Disco, that every time you come on I find my hips jutting and swirling? Do you have to be so demanding and pushy?

You don’t need A Taste Of Honey telling you to “Get on up, on the floor, ’cause we’re gonna boogie oogie oogie till you just can’t boogie no more.” What if we have other things to do? You don’t need KC & The Sunshine Band instructing you to “Get down, get down, get down, get down, get down tonight, baby.” We can get down just fine without the pressure. I, for one, would “Keep on dancin’” even if Marvin Gaye had said nothing.

And if Chic pressures you to “Listen to those dancing feet. Close your eyes and let go,” it’s probably a trap. Because it might just turn into an “All Night Thing.”

—— David Holub

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[Vintage News]

257182

»» Associated Press image of the Sojourner rover on the front page of the Saturday, July 5, 1997, Durango Herald.

20 years on Mars The Fourth of July, aside from being America’s boom-go-pow-fireworks birthday, is the anniversary of the Mars Pathfinder landing on the Red Planet.

HOME OF THE COOLEST MARGARITAS IN TOWN! HAPPY HOUR

Monday - Friday 2:30pm - 6pm 948 Main Ave · Durango, Co 970.259.7655 257403

On July 4, 1997, the Pathfinder touched down on Mars, demonstrating NASA’s ability for low-cost planetary exploration. The voyage also showcased NASA’s aptitude to creAs Trump kills our ate rovers, like the Sojourner, could separate from a planet, science explores that lander to roam planets doing science and shit. (i.e., tests on climate, atmosphere, geology, etc.)

»»

Though the little Sojourner-that-could was only expected to last up to four weeks, it transmitted data to scientists for almost three months.

In the past 20 years, eight other NASA landers and orbiters have arrived successfully on Mars, giving the U.S. a dedicated research presence on the Red Planet. Their discoveries have provided our first steps to a human presence on planets other than Earth.

In a 2017 lecture called “The Future of Humanity,” Stephen Hawking predicted that a human base could be established on the moon in 30 years.

Following that, within 50 years, a Mars base could be established.

Given the current political administration’s atrocious stance on protecting Earth from climate change and pollution, those gateways to secondary planets are becoming more imperative.

—— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

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[performance]

THE BOHEMIAN BURLESQUE SOCIETY PRESENTS

THE ART OF SEDUCTION »» Strater

The Fourth of July is all about red, white, and boobs. Ahem. I mean, blue? Nah. Let’s stick to boobs – because Theatre to host they’re gorgeous and don’t get enough credit as being part of the divine path to existence.

Monday, July 3, The Bohemian Burlesque Society is going to exalt the female and male forms in “The Art of sultry, velvety On Seduction” at the Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. There’ll be dancing in pairs, dancing for stares, gymnast performances flair, elegant pole dancing, and velvet sounds that rub and rouse. Tickets range from $25 to $50 – and you’re gonna wanna spring for those VIP seats closer to the dizzying hips, bending legs, and shimmy action. Besides front row seats, VIP tix include a pre-show in the Strater’s Pullman Room with a complimentary sexy beverage and hors d’oeurvres.

Everyone’s gonna wanna stick around after the main show. There’s a DJ dance party with the cast till 2 a.m.

DGO talked to members of The Bohemian Burlesque Society to get to know why they perform and love burlesque. Here’s what they had to say: Healing the masses through the arts Our motto is, “Healing the masses through arts and entertainment.” We want to use comedy, sex, all these different avenues to create change. We are also an outlet so that anyone who wants to come and perform can do so. The way that I formed this group was by putting an ad on Craigslist and posters around town and that’s how this troupe came to be. It’s been a collaboration of 20 people and everyone has something unique to offer.

As far as the Bohemian, we’re a nonprofit. We’re looking forward to starting a lot more community events, getting more going with the LGBT crowd, trying to find a good variety between all types of performers.

We are looking forward to also do classes and a whole school of burlesque.

It is an art form. It can transform people. I have seen people come in and their lives get shaken up and gives you back to yourself. It’s amazing to see the transformation of a thought to a creation to an action. I love performing. I love dancing. It’s a way of me creating my own original art piece in that form.

Ms. Lola Jean, founder of The Bohemian Burlesque Society

“Not just for ‘special theater people’” Burlesque is a space to feel sexy and feminine and dance and still feel powerful. I want it to become the norm that women can dance and perform in these ways, and for other women to see that any woman can do this. I love that this is not just for “special theater people” who’ve been doing it their whole lives.

Pole dancing can happen outside of a strip club. It can be powerful. Women of all shapes, sizes, ages can do it. So can women who have kids. They can get up on a stage and really give their heart.

Sarah Wolf, owner of Re Wild Pole Studio in Pagosa Springs

Cool crowds and creative types I got involved as a right hand, just to help out. I do

Bohemian Burlesque Society

»» Pandora (above) and Ms. Lola Jean.

websites and graphic design. I really liked the old movie with Liza Minnelli, “Cabaret” and I recently watched “Burlesque,” and I’m stoked about it. I love the speakeasy-style environment and wanted to get involved. I’ll be performing small parts in a lot of different acts. Burlesque is so beautiful. Everyone’s so talented and excited and creative. It’s different and sensual and attracts a certain kind of cool crowd.

Lee

Inclusive, sensual space Well, I really like – especially – this style of burlesque because it isn’t just about being a sexy lady mimicking 1800s sexiness. It’s all-encompassing. It includes the LGBTQ community and brings in a little bit of ev-

erybody. We have performers of all different backgrounds, all different shapes and sizes.

For me, it helps me embrace my sensual side. It makes it OK to wear things like this [reveals fabulous fishnet stocking] on stage, in front of a bunch of people and no one’s yelling, “Go put on some pants,” or “Drop 20 pounds.” It’s freeing and a safe zone. It’s a family.

I’ve always loved theater and this helps balance out the farm work I do, which can be like drudgery and hot and gross, but this I can just come and play.

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The reason why I perform burlesque is because it’s an unconventional view of social norms, which I really appreciate. It’s a colorful mix of people and very inclusive. It’s very loving and body-image positive. I think it’s classy and taps into something primal and carnal.

It also showcases everybody for their individual talent and makes everyone a star. That’s definitely something to love in a world where people get passed over quite often.

Bettie Koko

Finding what makes you feel beautiful I’m really new to burlesque.

I’ve never done it before. I’m enjoying pushing myself out of my comfort zone. It’s a big stretch for me. I have traditionally done belly dance and other kinds of dance, but this is a Courtesy of the Bohemian Burlesque Society. completely different style. What »» Wilson I’m discovering is that it is really empowering to do these sensual Pandora moves that you would really never do in any other performance.

Talented but

introverted

I dance really well in private, but I’m super shy. Burlesque is a way to get out of my comfort zone ... This is more than just a sexy dance. Burlesque is a lot about comedy and more than just shaking what you got.

Hugh Jazz Peter

Accidental burlesquer Burlesque, to me, is the epitome of sensuality and performance. It’s so beautiful. I didn’t ever intend to be a performer, but I couldn’t help it.

I’ve done a little belly dancing in the past, but my skills are not as a dancer.

I’ve never really performed or even thought I would ever be on stage. I was more involved behind the scenes doing production and web development. This will be my first show ever.

I saw all these amazing artists and performers doing their thing and I thought, “Maybe I’ll just try to come close to being a part of that and see how I do.”

Participating is even more fun than seeing it, which is already amazing.

Holly

Showcasing your heart

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It’s not about dancing to please other people. It’s about embracing the beauty of your form and highlighting your talents and what makes you feel beautiful.

Starr L’Amour

From audience member to MC I’ve always been a Durango local who has supported theater like the Salt Fire Circus, the Yard Dog Roadshow, Black and Blue Burlesque. This is the first time someone invited me to come check out a casting call and I went from being like, “Eh, maybe I’ll be a stagehand to being the MC.” The whole thing is people being people.

Fifi has been so wonderful about letting people be comfortable and stretch as far as they want, to be as risqué or reserved as they would like. It’s a very open, everybody-can-be-a-part-of-it act.

Wilson Interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity.

—— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

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[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

These brothers don’t bicker & Elder Grown keeps growing

B

and members bicker.

They are co-workers, and if co-workers aren’t bickering, they’re likely not being productive. Band members that are siblings also bicker, and music journalists like nothing better than writing an article chockfull of dirty laundry. Noel Gallagher kicking the snot out of Liam Gallagher at an Oasis rehearsal, or The Black Crowes show that ended with Rich Robinson taking a swing at his brother, Chris: ingredients for great articles that aid in the selling of records for overrated bands.

You know what makes a better band? Harmony, getting along, and making music without pockets full of ego and family angst.

The sibling battles in local band Elder Grown are non-existent. Perhaps brothers Josh, John, and Paul Hoffman got their fighting over and done with at a young age, and, in doing so, have maintained solid relationships with each other and the other band members.

Rounded out by Sam Kelly and Brandon Clark, Elder Grown will bring their brand of funk, rock, hip-hop and jam to the Animas City Theatre Friday (June 30) . Opening the show will be Earth Like Twins out of Fort Collins, featuring members of Euforquestra.

The shared blood between three members, as observed by the band members that don’t have the name Hoffman, is an asset.

“It’s what holds us together a little bit more,” said saxophone player Kelly. “I see a lot of other bands that don’t have brothers that fight a little bit more. But we have this cohesion that I think comes from years and years of these guys living together.”

They’re a busy DIY band with limitless ideas. They recently released a single with an accompanying video, and Friday’s show will also feature a string quartet on a handful of songs, the parts arranged by Fort Lewis College music department alum Kelly.

Bryant’s best Friday: Roots music with Sunny and the Whiskey Machine, 8 p.m.

No cover. Derailed Pour House, 725 Main Ave. Information: 247-5440.

Friday: Rock and jam with Elder Grown, 9 pm. $10/$12. Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. Information: 799-2281.

They’ve also built a studio inside Elder Grown headquarters, a house on the southside of Durango where most band members live, and where they all practice. It’s been ground zero for the record they’ve been working, with an unknown but anticipated release date.

This all comes from a band teaching themselves the tricks of the studio while they navigate recording a record and staying alive in the music business.

“There was a little bit of a learning curve,” said John Hoffman. “We’re getting some amazing products out of it, and we’re close. We’re right there just trying to figure out the right time to release it.”

With numerous vocalists and multi-instrumentalists, they’re an upbeat group of friends and family that make a solid band, dudes reared on jam-rock, hip-hop, and funk who have weaved those and other genres into a jam-rock package. Shows at the ACT are always at or near capacity, thanks to a network that comes out and supports what they do. Their summer schedule includes shows around the state and a slot in Denver’s “Underground Music Festival,” a multi-day event featuring up-and-comers. That house on the southside also has a brand new, white touring van ready to cart them from show to show.

“What’s cool is we have this upward trajectory,” said Kelly. “We keep climbing up and up.”

Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

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[sound] What’s new Floating Points,“Reflections – Mojave-Desert” Available: Friday, June 30, via Luaka Bop as a compact disc and standard black LP. Both versions, presumably, come with the accompanying DVD short film of the same name. Order either the CD or LP DVD combo directly from the label to receive a bundle that includes the Kuiper 12-inch vinyl EP released last year.

I am extremely, extremely particular when it comes to electronic-based music. Saying I’m particular is actually a polite, watered-down version of my feelings on the subject where I am admittedly generalizing and illustrating/painting my opinion with a wide, biased brush. I am happy to engage anyone personally on the matter, and if you are so moved, feel free to email me to begin the discourse at the address below.

That disclaimer aside, I do believe London-based artist Sam Shepherd, aka Floating Points, to be one of

New at

June 30 Stormzy,“Gang Signs and Prayer” Do many Americans know what grime is now? I am never sure how in touch with the people I am. If not, grime is a UKbased genre similar to hip-hop on the surface, but with a much higher focus on speed and flow. It came out of the UK garage and jungle scene back in the ’90s and has evolved since. Stormzy is a fairly recent up-and-coming MC, grabbing a massive amount of attention when his single “Shut Up” dropped in 2015. Now his debut album is finally emerging and it is a beast. Stormzy wears his influences on his sleeve, and the record is immediately reminiscent of old Dizzee Rascal and Wiley. If modern hip-hop is feeling a little stale to you, dip your toes into the grime scene. I got into it a few years back and now I cannot look back.

TLC,“TLC” When you hear about reunion albums like this, everyone hopes for the absolute best while expecting the worst.

After a massively successful Kickstarter campaign, the remaining members of the band return with their first album since the death of founding member Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes back in 2002. It shouldn’t be compared to their older material; as times have changed, the

the most intriguing and talented representations of the genre in recent memory. Over the past eight years, Shepherd released dozens of singles and EPs under the Floating Points moniker, culminating with a staggering full-length, “Elaenia,” in November, 2015. The follow-up to it is a multi-faceted project of beautifully mesmerizing music recorded under the open sky of the Mojave Desert. According to his label, “It is the first in a planned series of environmental recordings by Floating Points to be filmed and recorded at different locations around the world. ‘Reflections – Mojave Desert’ was made last year, as Floating Points traveled to the Mojave to rehearse in between U.S. touring.” The music itself is lush, dense atmospheres

aesthetics of R&B have changed, and the new self-titled album tried to follow along. The production is much more digital sounding, along the lines of the edm-focused hip-hop that has come out lately. Overall, the performances are strong, and while some of the writing is bad (no one ever needs to say the phrase “haters gonna hate” ever again), TLC does a good job of justifying its existence as more than just a cash grab.

recorded with a Rhodes Chroma (an analog synthesizer) and his live touring band (drums, guitar, bass, et al.) and various microphones, capturing the unique acoustics and textures of the desert. This is an amazingly rich album, setting the current bar for what music of this nature (pun intended) can be. I look forward to more in the series and cannot recommend this album, and the accompanying film documenting the recording process, earnestly enough.

Recommended for fans of Brain Eno, Oneohtrix Point Never, Tortoise, (Martin) Dosh, Prefuse 73 or Daedelus.

ing example of the power behind the genre and just how well it translates to the live setting. With a dark and occult bent, Carpenter Brut adds the crunch of distorted guitar and no small amount of the ’80s worship that is necessary for this style. Alongside what have become

—— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

genre standbys in songs like “Turbo Killer,” “Le Perv,” and “Escape From Midwich Valley,” the live record brings an actual version of their long-rumored cover of “Maniac” that is one part nostalgia and 10 parts manic energy.

—— Cooper Stapleton

The Acacia Strain, “Gravebloom” When I was in high school I listened to a lot of stuff that went out of its way to be good music to hit people to. The Acacia Strain is one of the biggest aspects of that sound, the combination of metal and hardcore culminating in slow-as-decay riffs with vocalist Vincent Bennett howling about death. The two-step riffs show up occasionally and activate that caveman part of my brain that really wants to run around in a circle hitting all of my best friends. Add in some guest vocals from underground hardcore favorites Kublai Khan and lyrics like “I am the butcher/Everything I see I kill/You have no immediate future/Swallow sorrow’s bitter pill/The future isn’t open, it’s bleak and fucking empty/Keep crying to your god he’s the one who fucking sent me” is a quick way to get me excited to do some spin kicks.

Carpenter Brut, “Carpenterbrutlive” I’ve talked a couple times in this column about “synthwave,” and as far as I know, this is the first modern live take on the genre. Carpenter Brut is an astound-

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[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Lucas Hess: One piece of El Moro’s fabulousness One of the first bars in Durango that I fell in love with was El Moro. At first it was the atmosphere, the faux industrial, old-school look. Then it was the cheese and charcuterie board. Then it was the amazing cocktails. Then it was all the whiskeys you could imagine. The ambiance, the quality of the food and drink, and the depth of the liquor menu all put together to make it my favorite bar. It was once I started going a lot that I realized all those things that I fell in love with are just the surface. What really makes El Moro great is the staff. They are the most knowledgeable, generous, interesting, and fun staff.

All of the staff that I know are totally worthy of having a feature written about them, and hopefully I’ll get to that (Elias, Jess, Sarah, it’s gonna happen!), but while I was in Durango, I had an awesome sit-down with Lucas Hess, one of the excellent bartenders at El Moro.

Lucas is originally from Owasso Oklahoma, a suburb of Tulsa. He got to Durango by transferring from Oklahoma State to Fort Lewis. Other than a few guest bartender spots around town and Arizona, El Moro has been lucky to see the majority of his efforts since he started bartending there three

years ago. Lucas is also an amazing photographer and award-winning skateboarder (he recently won “best trick” at the TIU4 Tyler skate competition in Durango). Our conversation started over a hazy IPA from Odd 13 Brewing in Lafayette (Colorado) called Codename: Superfan and then meandered through sours, ending on an amazing cocktail, Caballo y Corazon, from El Moro’s recent tequila dinner. Long afternoon conversations like this are the reason I love Durango and will keep coming back for the rest of my life.

Since this is a beer column, I’ll start with a beer

question: Hess El Moro has a very wide selection of cans and bottles, but only four taps that seem to change constantly. What criteria do you guys have when selecting beer and what is the end goal of the beer served in El Moro?

We are looking for the most well-made beer, by style, in the world. We love our local beer, and Continued on Page 11

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[beer] From Page 11

usually have something local on tap, but we’re also trying to expose people to something they don’t see everyday. And our GM, Dave Woodruff, is a certified Cicerone and he makes sure we’re getting a steady stream of good beer.

I definitely come to El Moro for the amazing beer selection, but I think most people know the place for the cocktails. What is it that makes El Moro stand out in this regard?

[summer fun]

Outdoor party gadgets to amp your Fourth of July »» Glamorize

John F. Kennedy said, “The American, by nature, is optimistic. He is experan inventor, and a builder who builds best when called upon to your backyard imental, build greatly.” Translation: Even if President Trump is a retro-tech snob who get-together wants to rely on ancient science that benefits his bourgeois, old, white corporate pals, new tech will be built. Americans have that Yankee ingenuity and we refuse to not use it. Especially when we’re having a party.

Here are the high-tech gadgets and clever accessories you’ll want at your Independence Day barbecue: Barbecuing

puree to add to a rum punch.

I think it’s definitely our focus and connection to our ingredients and the attention to detail of our staff. It’s one of the reasons we don’t batch our ingredients or list the liquor brands going into our cocktails, because we want customers to choose drinks based on those ingredients, not on a brand of liquor they know. In the end, the customers know that we’re going to take care of them, and there’s a lot of trust there.

Robots and your grill

Bonus: Fruit tapping ain’t just for summer. Tap your Halloween party pumpkin.

Cooler better is if it was infused with artificial intelligence, which would make the $450 price tag more reasonable.

No hot tub, no problem

Night party

One of the things that blew me away when I first found out was how good you are at skateboarding. Where did that come from and how does that passion transfer into your work behind the bar?

What is that – a subtle hint of cherry wood? Get all Gordon Ramsey on your grill with a smoker box. You can snag a stainless steel woodchip smoker box that won’t warp. Only $25.

Well, I started when I was 8 years old, watching neighborhood kids do tricks over a manhole while I was trying to land ollies in the grass. I think there’s a lot of parallels, creativity obviously, but there’s also repetition.

When you see someone land a trick, there were probably dozens of failed attempts that went into landing it. It’s kind of like our seasonal cocktail menu: by the end of the season, after we’ve been making them for two and a half months, the flavors and presentations are on point every time.

Robert Alan Wendeborn is a former cellar operator at Ska Brewing and current lead cellar operator at Tin Roof Brewing in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

The dirty, suck-ass part of having a barbecue party is cleaning up the grill.

Similar to eating ass that ain’t ready for you, sudsing up a grill can cause odd smells and awkward color explosions.

Who wants to deal with that?

Enter the Grillbot. These little sons-aguns do the dirty work for ya. It’s like a Roomba, but instead of cleaning your floors, its bristling brushes shine your grill. Boo and yah.

Fancypants smoke infusion

Sun-cooked future food Holy heck. We live in a food-topia.

There’s such a thing as a “solar grill.” It’s a solar vacuum, i.e. a high-tech tube, that sits on a stainless steel holder that uses only the power of the freakin’ sun to cook your food.

Reviews say it can cook dang near everything from brownies and corn muffins to stripcut steak and salmon.

The future ain’t cheap though. Your no-effort food tube’s gonna cost about 300 bucks.

Relaxation Fruit keg fun times For $20 you can turn a watermelon into a keg. Buy a keg kit that comes with a tap and a coring tool to clear out all the useless vitamins and nutrients a watermelon contains. Or, hey, you could save the watermelon guts for a

Not everybody is blessed with a pool, a hot tub, or a pal with said amenities.

If you’re too shy to sneak into a hotel to co-opt water funnery, find yourself an inflatable pool. Intex has a blow-up, $120 pool that can fit four comfortably. Get schnockered in your own personal garden water park.

All-purpose cooler Are you freaking kidding me? Coolest is a brand of coolers that gives you everything but a handjob. The thing has a waterproof USB charger, splash-proof Bluetooth speaker, a battery-powered blender component, a LED light lid, a built-in cutting board, a magnetized bottle opener, and there’s even more.

The only thing that could make a Coolest

Go go night lights If disco party lights can make tiny dive bars look dreamy, imagine what they can do with your comfy backyard. For only $14 you can rig your patio with a seven-color, remote-controlled disco light system.

Ya know what makes trees even prettier in the dark? A whistling summer breeze and purple lights dancing across the leaves.

Stone path rave Are those glowing stones or are you just happy to see me? Both? Good.

If you have a big yard, a gloomy yard, if you want to light up the patio stairs, or are just plain scared of the dark, get a few batches of solar-powered glow stones. For 14 bucks you can add a whimsical blue hue to your yard.

Rainbow fire This isn’t so much high-tech gadgetry as it is an elf-lure. You heard me.

An elf-lure. You want elves or other magical creatures to show up to your BBQ? Wait till that evening sun goes down and them stars rise, make a wood pile, and light up the sky with a rainbow fire.

A cube of Mystical Flame Colorant will last about 15 minutes when thrown onto the fire. Red, purple, blue, and green flames will burst out. For 17 bucks you can get a 25-count box of ’em. If you’re lucky, maybe do the right chanting, you’ll be having hot elf sex in the dewy grass by the green flames.

— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, June 29, 2017 | 11

ENORMO YARD GAMES FOR YOUR OUTDOOR GATHERING

OVERSIZED SUMMER FUN »» From Yard-zee to bowling

Gianormo Jenga

battleground, inflate your gloves, and get to the slugfest.

– enormous lawn games will make your backyard party huge

Add some DANGER to your wiener roast. Giant-ass Jenga is made of oversized wood blocks, each heavy as a bucket-oblood, which coincidentally, is what your guests will expel if caught under these tumbling blocks.

he beer pyramid stands tall. You’ve chopped 10 pounds of carrots, peppers, and other vego-noms. The caramelized French onion dip and wavy chips tempt from the table. Desmond Dekker or Nicki Minaj or Dreamcar or whoever slips outta your speakers. It’s a breezy, blue-sky day and the guests are walking into your yard party.

Problem. There’s only one you. You can’t be a grillmaster, working them goods that’ve been marinating for eons AND entertain friends. Yeah, yeah, friends can get hotsy-totsy tipsy under the summer sun, but what else?

Give the people something more than PBR. Let them have games. Not just any games, ENORMOUS YARD GAMES!

The game usually begins at two-and-half feet tall, but as you tug, toil over, and stack blocks, it can reach five feet high.

Start the game on a table, not the ground and that wood tower’s gonna redwood the F over you. When it falls, there’ll be a clatter-damn-smash, so play where you don’t care about the flooring or grass.

Unless you’re the Emperor of All Crafts, you’re gonna need to actually purchase these from a store. If you go “small-big” they’ll cost you about seven bucks. The enormous inflatable boxing gloves run you about $15. Don’t expect more than one drunk-use outta ’em.

T

You can get a name-brand edition on Amazon, but if you want a specialized or huge(r) version, we suggest hitting up Home Depot to cut your own twoby-fours or Etsy. Search for “giant Jenga.”

Big hands, big fight Ain’t much more ’Murica than having a bout of friendly fisticuffs at your yard party. Amp it up by using colossal, inflatable boxing gloves. Chalk a square on the driveway or rope off a backyard

»» Boy Trump celebrates rolling a big, beautiful Yardzee during a game of Yard-zee last week.

Nobody loves Yardzee more than him.

It’s surprisingly soothing to hit your friends in the face with oversized, squishy fists. DGO recommends the big-big gloves.

M-effin bubble party DGO knows a dude who went to Germany in the ’90s who made his living via street performance. The fantastic weirdo roller-skated for tourists while creating enormous bubbles with soap-dripping hula hoops. Bring Berlin to your backyard.

You can make a biggin’ bubble maker with two wooden sticks and a cord, but hey, if you ain’t crafty, the aforementioned hula hoop trick with a kiddie pool fulla soapy water works, too. As does spending 10 bucks after searching the interwebs for

“big bubble maker.”

Wood dice are nice DGO has a thing for chuckin’ chubby cubes. Technically, these fatty woods are “dice” and technically it is Yard-zee that we’re playing. But think of our chubs however you wanna. Just think big.

Yard-zee is exactly like Yahtzee except you play on your lawn and the dice used could splatter and ’splode a bunny if it bounced through the backyard.

Your best bet on this one is Etsy. Search for “yardzee” to get the most search results. You’ll be in the $40 to $70 range, depending on how many accoutrements you want – like a bucket and enormo-scorecards. And if you’re in Farmington, Target sells giant dice for $24.99 and various cans/ baskets for under $10.

Let’s go bowling Ever had a dream where you were a bowling pin and Continued on Page 14

»» Catch all nine episodes of Boy Trump’s stop-motion animation show “Donald Trump is ...

Child Lecturer” at dgomag.com/videos.

David Holub/DGO

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[summer fun] From Page 13

about to be crushed by a max-speed ball? No? Um. Neither have we. We totally haven’t seen our insides become outsides in a nightmare jumbo bowling game.

You can bowl big without crushing the life out of your party guests. Inflatable yard bowling exists.

Usually, there’s six PVC pins about three feet tall with a use-both-hands ball to wallop at ’em. You’ll spend about 30 bucks.

Depending on how rowdy your friends are, this game won’t last through the night. But shit-talking and strike-mocking until the inevitable blow-up is worth the greenbacks.

Tic tac huh?

How long’s it possible for grown-ass adults to play tic tac toe? If you’re in the shade with suds in hand, a belly full of burger, and a yard-encompassing tic tac toe board, DGO has scientifically calculated that there’s at least an hour of fun in this.

Fun decreases if you spend too much money.

There’s posh, mondo-sized tic tac toe out there that can cost you $90. Which is ridiculous. Spend more than 30 Etsy bucks on this and you’re wasting beer money.

Yard pong all night long

with inebriated friends in your yard.

Here’s what you need. A yard.

Six freshie, non-rank trashcans. And lots of BALLS. OK, maybe just four balls.

The $5 Walmart, kids section, biggie ones.

Once again, the crafting maniacs will love this one.

Because you can make your own domino set. But, if you ain’t got the time or don’t want to think too hard about how many dots you’ve stenciled onto a woody, you can buy yard dominoes for $40 and up, preferably on Etsy, where you can get a customized set.

You already know how to play beer pong. Instead of pitching lil’ ping pong balls in Solo cups, you’re lobbing dodgeballs at dumpster buckets. The trick is to *not* haphazardly hit a friend in the nuts or nose with a rubber ball while attempting to catapult it into a can.

Inflatable t-rex 4eva By now, if you haven’t seen the over-tall, blow-up t-rex costume, we will pause to allow you to google for “pole dancing t-rex” and “t-rex skateboarding.”

Seen and snarfed at the wonder of it?

Now imagine a t-rex battle royale in your backyard. It ain’t gonna be cheap. Inflatable t-rex costumes are about $55. BUT COME ON! A sweaty t-rex wrestle pit with the crowd chanting, “Two men enter, one man leave?”

If you wanna go cheap on this, you can use paint buckets instead of bigass trashcans.

Dommies!

#WorthIt #Memories #Thunderdome #BonusPointsIfYouBuildACageToHouseTheFight

DGO can attest that the best place to play dominoes is an open-air café with the ghost of Oscar Wilde. If you can’t arrange airfare and a literary séance to make that shit happen, next best is playing oversized dominoes

— Patty Templeton DGO Staff Writer

[sponsored]

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Mosquitos are considered one of the deadliest creatures on earth. That’s right, more deaths are associated with mosquitoes than any other animal on the planet.

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These micro vampires may carry a number of deadly diseases at any time, including malaria, dengue fever, yellow fever, and encephalitis.

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There are more mosquitoes on this planet than humans beings. There are 100 trillion tiny buzzing vampires from 3,450 different species ready to suck your blood.

The Greek name for mosquito is anopheles, translating to “good-fornothing”

Human sweat contains chemicals and odors that ring the dinner bell for mosquitoes. The bloodsuckers can sense octenol, cholesterol and folic acid released in sweat.

Despite their size, mosquitoes are able to suck up to three times their weight in blood and feed multiple times in a single day. It would take about 1.2 million bites to drain all the blood from your body.

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Mosquitoes are actually tiny flying vampire dinosaurs. Just kidding. But seriously, mosquitoes are known from as far back as the Triassic Period – 400 million years ago.

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[democracy] [sponsored review]

The Bakked Botanical pure CO2 oil cartridge What is it?

An amazing flavor-filled vaping experience, the new Bakked cartridges from Organa Brands are formulated with naturally-sourced botanical terpenes and come in 500 mg cartridges in the following flavors: »»Pineapple OG (Sativa)

»»Blueberry (Indica)

»»Grapefruit Haze (Sativa)

»»Grand Daddy Purple (Indica)

The effects Bakked Botanical cartridges are concentrated cannabis oil. THC content runs around 52-58 percent depending on strain and batch. (Percentage is clearly marked on each container.) For reference, an average strain of flower from your local dispensary can be in the neighborhood of 25-30 percent THC, meaning this is twice as strong as that dank bud.

The look

Associated Press

»» A caricature of President Donald Trump in a shopping mall in Moscow, Russia, in March.

Watchdogging authoritarianism »» Amy Siskind holds Trump accountable FROM THE FILES OF

News you need to know

Amy Siskind, a former Wall Street executive, LGBT activist, and NOT concerned citiNORMAL zen, watchdogs the Trump administration and its turn towards authoritarianism.

Why this is not normal In November 2016, Siskind started the Weekly Authoritarianism List, monitoring the erratic, dictatorial behavior of Donald Trump and his administration so the conduct can’t become normalized.

Each bullet point on Siskind’s list has a reputable source link and each item details a democracy-decaying action of Trump, his administration, or his 1 percent cronies.

By Siskind’s ninth week, the list went viral.

The list regularly contains near 100 items that showcase the despotic leanings and “not normal” behavior of our billionaire president and his pals. For example, this week Siskind links to a lawsuit that alleges Trump’s pro-private prison policy is due to receiving illegal campaign contributions from a private prison company.

She links to stories about both Jared Kushner and Jeff Sessions quietly attaining lawyers to defend their Russia connections. She links to Trump’s absurdly low approval rating, to Trump’s SoHo project being connected to Russian money laundering names, and to Trump himself on camera quoted as saying how he doesn’t want to hire poor people.

It’s not normal for a private citizen like Siskind to have to spend 15 to 20 hours a week compiling a list of not normal government behavior, so the United States doesn’t have an excuse of not seeing authoritarianism coming.

Check out Siskind’s Weekly Authoritarianism List at https://medium.com/@ Amy_Siskind.

—— Patty Templeton

The oil comes in a cartridge similar to the original O.penVAPE cartridge. The black contoured mouthpiece lets you know you’re in for something special. The Bakked cartridge screws onto any 510 thread battery. It works best with an original O.penVAPE, but you can use the O.penVAPE 2.0 (just be sure not to have it on one of the lower settings).

The smell Like all vapor, Bakked vapor dissipates almost immediately. Its sweet aroma hits the air in a puff and filters itself into the oxygen, allowing you to puff with more discretion. The sweetness of the added botanicals is evident as soon as you open the packaging and its fresh, ripe fruity smells envelope your senses.

The taste Wow. If you’re all about flavor when you smoke, get ready to appreciate the fine art and science of terpenes. To enhance the flavors that naturally occur in certain strains, Organa Brands, the folks that give you all O.penVAPE and Bakked products, introduce naturally-sourced botanical terpenes to their refined oil to intensify its flavor profile resulting in some sweet, fun, flavors.

The final verdict The addition of botanical terpenes enhances the flavor of the refined cannabis oil beyond even the most terpene-rich cannabis oil. My favorite had to be the Pineapple OG. It was a light, refreshing flavor and uplifting, wonderful high, excellent for socializing and creativity. Grapefruit Haze was also quite tasty. Its THC percentage was a little higher than the pineapple, producing more of a robust, full-body high – great for being outdoors and on the go. My favorite indica was Blueberry. As the name suggests, it’s a berry fruity experience, relaxing, but coherent. Grand Daddy Purps had me ready for the pillow; I would highly recommend for sleepy time. If you’re a purist, this isn’t for you, but if you’re a flavor junkie, this is your jam!

DGO Staff Writer

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[ weed ]

[review]

Lemon Skunk

Elevated Discourse Meggie J

What is it?

Cannabis: To reschedule or deschedule?

D

espite numerous appeals to the DEA for the its reclassification, marijuana, as well as all isolated cannabinoids from the cannabis plant, including CBDs, are classified as a Schedule I narcotic. In order for government-sanctioned scientific research to be done on the efficacy of cannabis and its medicinal properties, it is necessary for marijuana to be rescheduled. While many players in the cannabis industry agree that cannabis should not be classified as a Schedule I drug, the reclassification process has the potential to move marijuana into Schedule II, possibly creating a host of issues for the burgeoning marijuana industry.

The Controlled Substances Act was signed by Richard Nixon in 1970.

There are five schedules in the CSA to classify drugs based on their abuse potential, medicinal applications, and safety. Schedule I has the most potential for addiction, with no current accepted medical application.

Schedule II also contains highly-addictive drugs, but these have been shown to have medical applications and are controlled by the FDA, issued via prescriptions through federally-regulated pharmacies. Schedule III drugs are considered less addictive, with medical applications, although a prescription is not always necessary.

Schedule IV & V follow suit. In terms of safety, Schedule I represents the highest level of danger to self & others, V the least.

Cannabis and all its derivatives are classified as hallucinogenic substances under Schedule I. This categorization halts any further medical or scientific research under the assumption that proper due diligence has already been done to justify this classification. However, this was not the case for cannabis, as there is no scientific research to support the decision of its placement as a Schedule I drug. And

A 60/40 sativa-dominant hybrid and testing around 20 percent THC, Lemon Skunk is the result of breeding two different skunk strains, each known for their lemon-like properties to maximize the limonene terpenes.

The effects

ub/DGO David Hol

while there are reams of testimony on the medicinal benefits of cannabis, most specifically CBD, currently there is no officially- accepted scientific research to validate those claims or to encourage further research for other medical applications, allowing for all parties to have an informed discussion.

Reclassification may seem to be the clear answer out of the quagmire preventing medical marijuana research; however, it could lead the industry and its consumers into further murky territory. If cannabis is rescheduled as a Schedule II drug, the FDA could take control of the disbursement of cannabis along with conducting research and testing leading to an expensive and time-consuming process of approval. It is also likely that the FDA would not issue prescriptions for flower (bud), but rather isolate cannabinoids to create pills or other vehicles for patient consumption.

As a Schedule II drug, it would be distributed and monitored via prescription, opening the door for largescale pharmaceutical companies to compete with the current cannabis industry, leaving many small farmers, dispensary owners, and other producers worrying that this move will topple the industry and leave it to be swept up by big pharma.

Last year, the DEA denied the most recent petition to reclassify marijuana. And while many people were rightfully upset that cannabis still sits in the same Schedule as heroin, and therefore considered more dangerous than Oxycontin or cocaine (both Schedule II drugs), some advocates are pushing for marijuana to be declassified completely and

regulated much like alcohol and tobacco. In Colorado, legal recreational weed is regulated by the Marijuana Enforcement Division, and with more states legalizing marijuana for adult recreational use, it seems like this is a practical step. The MED has an extensive program already set up to track all plants from seed to sale, even those that go through the process of conversion to concentrations or edibles. And although this sounds like it would be a good answer for the industry, it might be a dividing point between those who promote marijuana for medicinal purposes and those who use it for recreational reasons.

Government-sanctioned scientific research is needed to back up anecdotal claims for the medicinal value of cannabis, which would allow for patients to receive prescriptions from their doctors, distributing much-needed medicine to many whose ailments can be alleviated in some way by medicinal cannabis. But could this impede on the liberty of those citizens who have already voted to allow adults access to recreational cannabis use? Is it possible to find some common ground? Declassification would open avenues for research without potentially crushing this new industry or jeopardizing product availability. And isn’t that what we as consumers, whether for pleasure or as patients, want? More answers to our ever-burning questions about cannabis.

Meggie J is a published poet and freelance writer living in the Four Corners. She is an avid reader, rafter, and connoisseur of cannabis. She can be reached at coxwell. meggiej@gmail.com.

Smooth yet stealthy, Lemon Skunk comes on with all the busyness you would expect from a sativa. Need to organize the closet? Pack away the winter clothes (finally), sort out what you don’t want for a giveaway? Better be fast – after the initial sativa-punch rush you’ll find yourself drawn more towards the couch and further into the depths of your mind.

The smell The sweet tart of fresh lemon covers the high pungent smell of skunk like a soft blanket. Not like other skunks, this is a lovely, light, fresh scent. The skunk is tamed by the presence of clean citrus.

It smells like a cuddle, soft and sweet.

The look Fat, dense, dark buds generously covered in a tangle of soft, orange hairs. This bud has incredible genetics, it is gorgeous, every hair wrapped tight, its density a testimony to its genetic creation.

The taste Lemon Skunk is like old-world wine. It’s a classic that so many newer strains can be traced to.

Tart like lemon drops on the inhale with sharp notes of skunk, and a sweet and smooth aftertaste on the exhale. Wonderful in a vaporizer or old-school in a big joint for a deep, earthy, citrus taste.

The final verdict Lemon Skunk is a true hybrid, middle of the road, best of both worlds strain. Physically, the rush of sativa gives way to the euphoria of indica. Mentally, this is a mind-active weed, good for creative endeavors, great conversations, or deep thoughts.

—— Meggie J

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[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

Get that cannabis trim ready for use in oils, butters, tinctures

Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

DONALD TRUMP IS ...

CHILD LECTURER! A video series about what happens when you take Donald Trump’s exact words and make him sound like a child, set in a world of stop-motion animation.

DGO Watch at dgomag.com/videos

SUMMER

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Al

way of the removal of the carboxyl (COOH) part of the molecule through the addition of heat, usually in the form of a flame applied to smoked flowers.

Since we are not going to smoke our trim, here is a simple process by which we can decarboxylize it in order to make it viable for use in oils, butters, tinctures, and the like, which will then be available to us for any number of culinary applications. This is done at a low temperature for a fairly long period of time and requires only a few basic supplies. (It’s done this way to preserve a high percentage of the terpenes, which contribute to what is known as the “entourage effect” of whole-plant medicine, as opposed to the laboratory-isolates peddled by pharmaceutical companies.)

You will want to work with trim that has had a couple days to lay flat and dry so that it’s easier to work with. First, chop up the trim (you can definitely add the underdeveloped “popcorn buds” from the lower/interior sections of the plant) so that it can be easily spread around.

Lay the chopped product into a baking pan (Pyrex is best) to a depth of about one inch (slightly deeper is OK but do not go over an inch-and-ahalf as it may cause inconsistency in heating) and place the pan in an oven preheated to 240 degrees.

Heat the pan for an hour, moving the contents around every 15 minutes to ensure even distribution. Turn off the oven and allow everything to cool until you are able to remove the baking pan with your bare hands.

And, just like that, you have decarboxylated cannabis trim ready to be applied to any variety of uses, some of which we will begin to investigate next week. Til then, enjoy watering and loving your beauties that will give you this bounty, friends.

en

I

t would appear that our boy, AG Sessions, is otherwise occupied this week with activities that include “not recalling” and “lawyering up,” so we are free to get on about the business of making plans to use our trim come October-or-so in order to make some delicious concoctions that will be certain to leave smiles on our faces, limberness in our muscles, and a pleasant little fuzz in our minds.

There is nothing quite like an edible preparation of cannabis. Done correctly, it will transport you to a state of bliss so complete that the world around you becomes engulfed in a happy glow and it becomes unclear whether the source of that glow emanates from some place within you or if you are gathered into a field of sensorial harmony: food tastes delicious, music sounds even more heavenly sourced, a primal warmth envelops you akin to floating on the surface of a tropical sea as the sun cascades on your face. This nearly-perfect feeling can be achieved by ingesting the prototypical brownie or cookie, but today we are going to backtrack the process and focus on the component parts of said edible creations. We’ll look with an eye toward sparking your individuality to create a new cannabis-infused cuisine. Think of not only desserts, but appetizers, soups, salads, and main courses, all infused with cannabis according to your individual palate and creativity.

First, a bit of science (because I know you love it when I get all sciency). When we discuss the high associated with cannabis, we are discussing the effect on our brain chemistry of delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol, more commonly known as THC. But, in raw, undried, uncured cannabis, this psychoactive compound is present only in small doses. A chemical called tetrahydrocannabinolic acid, or THCA, predominates and the conversion of THCA (which does have health benefits but will not get us stoned) to THC takes place by

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[love and sex]

Savage Love | Dan Savage

Jealousy on social media and other quick-fire Q&As I had a great time at the live taping of the “Savage Lovecast” at Chicago’s Music Box Theatre. Audience members submitted questions on cards, and I tackled as many questions as I could over two hours – with the welcome and hilarious assistance of comedian Kristen Toomey. Here are some of the questions we didn’t get to before they gave us the hook ...

If your partner’s social media makes you uncomfortable – whether it’s the overly-friendly comments they get on their photos or vice versa (their overly-friendly comments on other people’s photos) – do you have the right to say something?

You have the right to say something – the First Amendment applies to relationships, too – but you have two additional rights and one responsibility: the right to refrain from reading the comments, the right to unfollow your partner’s social-media accounts, and the responsibility to get over your jealousy.

A couple invited me to go on a trip as their third and to have threesomes. I am friends with the guy, and there is chemistry. But I have not met the girl.

I’m worried that there may not be chemistry with her. Is there anything I can do to build chemistry or at least get us all comfortable enough to jump into it?

Get this woman’s phone number, exchange a few photos and flirty texts, and relax. Remember: You’re the very special guest star here – it’s their job to seduce you, not the other way around.

Incest porn – what is the reason behind why it’s so hot?

I reject the premise of your question.

There’s nothing hot about incest porn.

My partner really wants an open relationship; I really don’t. He isn’t the jealous type; I am. We compromised, and I agreed to a threesome. I want to meet him in the middle, but I really hate the idea of even a threesome and can’t stop stressing about it. What should I do?

You should end this relationship yourself or you can let an ill-advised, sure-to-be-disastrous threesome end it for you.

Any dating advice for people who are gay and disabled?

Move on all fronts: Go places and do things – as much as your disability and budget allow – join gay dating sites, be open about your disability, be open to dating other disabled people. And take the advice of an amputee I interviewed for a column a long, long time ago: “So long as they don’t see me as a fetish object, I’m willing to date people who may be attracted to me initially because of my disability, not despite it.”

Why do I say yes to dates if I love being alone?

Because we’re constantly told – by our families, our entertainments, our faith traditions – that there’s something wrong with being alone. The healthiest loners shrug it off and don’t search for mates, the complicit loners play along and go through the motions of searching for mates, and the oblivious loners make themselves and others miserable by searching for and landing mates they never wanted.

My boyfriend keeps talking about how much he would like for me to peg him. (I’m female.) Should I wait for him to buy a contraption or surprise him myself? We’ve been dating only three months.

Traditionally, straight couples exchange strap-on dildos to mark their six-month anniversary.

Gay guy, late 20s. What’s the best

timing – relative to meals and bowel movements – to have anal sex?

Butts shouldn’t be [effed] too soon after a meal or too soon before a bowel movement. For more info, read the late, great Dr. Jack Morin’s Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women, and Couples – which can be read before, during, and after meals and/or bowel movements.

My sister’s husband describes himself as sexually “vanilla.” She says she hasn’t had an orgasm without a vibrator in seven years. They are currently separated, and he wants her back.

If he makes some lifestyle changes (stops smoking so much weed, goes to the gym), is there hope for her sex life?

Does your sister want him back? If so, taking him back is the only way to find out if he’s willing to make these lifestyle changes and make them permanently.

I went to a big kink event. Why are the people so [effing] creepy? How can you find kinky folks who aren’t super pervy?

They’re hanging out with the kinky folks who aren’t super judgy.

Why do all of my gay friends make passes at my boyfriends at some point? It’s not just harmless flirtation, either.

Your boyfriends are irresistible, and your gay friends are irredeemable.

My girlfriend and I are having a debate. Which is more intimate: vanilla sex or sharing a whirlpool bath with someone? Can you settle this?

No. Three great dates followed by a micropenis. What do I do? Him: sixfoot-four, giant belly. Me: five-footfive, normal proportions. Great guy, but the sex sucked.

If you require an average-to-large penis to enjoy sex, don’t keep seeing this guy. He needs to find someone who thinks – or someone who knows – tongues, fingers, brains, kinks, etc., can add up to great sex.

My boyfriend refuses to finish inside me. When he’s about to come, he pulls out and comes on my chest.

Every time. I told him I have an IUD and there’s no risk of pregnancy.

How do I remain a feminist when my boyfriend comes on my chest every night? I know he loves me, but I feel very objectified.

A woman who enjoys having someone come on her chest doesn’t have to surrender her feminist card for letting someone come on her chest. But you don’t enjoy it – it makes you feel objectified in the wrong way. (Most of us, feminists included, enjoy being appreciated for our parts and our smarts.) Use your words: “I don’t like it when you come on my chest. So that’s over.” He’ll have to respect that limit or he’ll have to go.

If he doesn’t feel comfortable coming inside you, IUD or no IUD, you’ll have to respect his choice. He can pull out and come somewhere else – in his own hand, on his own belly, or in a condom.

Dan Savage is a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist writing for The Stranger in Seattle. Contact him at mail@savagelove.net or @fakedansavage on Twitter and listen to his podcast every week at savagelovecast.com.

18 | Thursday, June 29, 2017 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening]

DGO’s weekend picks in or near Durango PIG at Launchpad

Durango celebrates Independence Day.

Put on a wicked grin and your combat boots, PIG is coming to Launchpad, 618 Central Ave. SW, in Albuquerque. Raymond Watts, the badass behind, and only member of, PIG is also known for being a periodic member and collaborator with KMFDM. The industrial rock icon will be in ABQ on Wednesday, July 5. Ghostfeeder, Julien K, and Tripping Dogs open.

Party all dang day. There’s a family fun picnic in Buckley Park. Rotary Park hosts a 5K, a free concert by Southwest Civic Winds, and a VFW BBQ. Downtown, there’ll be a Family BBQ from Noon to 4 p.m., a parade at 6 p.m., and a street dance featuring the Hi-Rollers, hot dogs, and a beer garden starting at 6:45 p.m.

More info about road closures, parking, and random at www.durangogov. org/4thofjuly.

Tix are $15 in advance and $20 at the doors, which open at 8 p.m. for this 21-and-over show.

Silverton’s Fourth of booyah

Deets: http://launchpadrocks.com

Do the Truffle Shuffle in Farmington at free movie night Hey, you guuuuuuys! “The Goonies” is playing at the Farmington Museum and Visitor Center, 3041 E. Main Ave., in Farmington, on Saturday, July 1. The movie’s free, plays on a bigass screen in the amphitheater along the Animas River, and starts at 9:15 p.m.

GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE! Find out what it means by going on a rad date (with yerself or others) to this movie.

Information: https://farmingtonnm.org/ events/outdoor-movies-at-the-museum

Drunk mountain music fun Beer plus mountain plus bands equals

Thursday Yoga and meditation workshops for veterans and their families, 7 a.m.,

Durango Elks Lodge, 901 East Second Ave., 247-2296.

Guided nature walks, 9:45 a.m., Purgato-

ry Resort, 1 Skier Place, www.purgatoryresort. com.

Dance for Balance, 3 p.m., Absolute Physical Therapy and Wellness, 277 East Eighth Ave., 764-4094.

“Harvest of Empire” film screening, 4 p.m., Fort Lewis College, Center of

BCI Media file

»» Oooh! Ahhhhh! Fireworks from the 2015 show in Durango.

YES. On Saturday, from 12:30 to 7:30 p.m. on July 1, Purgatory Ski Resort, 1 Skier Pl., hosts Bands, Brews, and BBQ.

Fourth of ’Murica in Durango-town

Advance tickets at $11; at the door will cost ya $17 for basic entry. For admission, a BBQ meal, and a beer, it’ll be $21 in advance and $27 at the door.

At 9:15 p.m. on Tuesday, July 4, sparkle

More info:t www.purgatoryresort.com/ events/bands-brews-bbq

DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, 2596580.

Free concert in the park: Halden Wofford and the Hi Beams, 5:30 p.m.,

Buckley Park, 1200 Main Ave., www.durangoconcerts.com.

Lisa Blue, 5:30 p.m., Kennebec Cafe, 4

County Road 124, 247-5674.

Adam Swanson, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle

Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

The Legend of Danny Boy, 7 p.m., $19-

$24, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

Jose Villareal, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

Durango Green Drinks, 5 p.m., Carver

Brewing Co., 1022 Main Ave., 259-2545.

Friday

Clean Commute Week:“Love Your Commute” Party, 5 p.m., Ska Brewing Co.,

Adam Swanson, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

225 Girard St., 247-5792.

Void Where Prohibited, 6 p.m., Balcony Bar and Grill, 600 Main Ave., 422-8008.

Terraces, 33846 U.S. Highway 550, www. jamesranch.net.

Ben Gibson, 5 p.m., Animas River Cafe,

If running ain’t your kinda party, hit up the Silverton Fourth of July Parade from 10:30 a.m. to noon. The parade leads into a fam-friendly carnival in Memorial Park, the Notorious Blair Street Block Party from 6 to 9 p.m. , and epic fireworks from 9 to 10 p.m. .

Bands include the high energy funk of Pants Party, Kat $nip & the Funk Lab, Space Wail, and The Missing Lynx.

Southwest Studies, 1000 Rim Drive, 2477456.

Burger and Band Night with the Will Cooter Gang, 5 p.m., $20, James Ranch

and glow will light up the San Juans as

Do you like to celebrate being an American by running? Silverton’s got you covered with a Fun Run from 8 to 10 a.m. on Tuesday, July 4, that benefits the Silverton Youth Center.

699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

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[happening] From Page 19

Adam Swanson, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Ben Gibson, 7 p.m., Derailed Pour House,

725 Main Ave., 247-5440.

Band, 6:45 p.m., Fort Lewis College, 1000

Rim Drive, www.fortlewis.edu.

Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699

Fireworks display, 9:15 p.m., Green-

699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Main Ave., 375-7260.

Bohemian Burlesque Society, The Art of Seduction, 8 p.m., $25-$50, Strater

The Legend of Danny Boy, 7 p.m., $19-

The Pete Giuliani Band, 7 p.m., Lake

Hotel, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

mount Cemetery, 900 Cemetery Road, www. durangogov.org.

$24, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

House Bar and Grill, 17460 County Road 501, 884-9150.

Tuesday

Wednesday

Missy and the Bluetones, 7 p.m., Rusty Shovel Saloon, 18044 County Road 501, 8842964.

Void Where Prohibited, 8 p.m., Derailed Pour House, 725 Main Ave., 247-5440.

Fourth of July river parade, all-day

Vallecito Lake fireworks display, 8:30 p.m., Vallecito Lake, www.vallecitolakechamber. com.

Master’s Men Colorado, 6:30 a.m., DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, 259-6580.

Children story time, 10 a.m., James Ranch Terraces, 33846 U.S. Highway 550, www.jamesranch.net.

Fourth of July breakfast and fun run,

Secret Garden summer concert series, 5 p.m., $10, Leland House and Rochester

Andy Janowsky, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

Sunday

7:30 a.m., $5-$10, Rotary Park, 1565 East Second Ave., 946-4856.

Pete Giuliani, 5 p.m., Animas River Cafe,

699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m., Jean Pierre

Saturday

Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 2477700.

Fire Cracker run and family walk, 8

a.m., Joe Stephenson Park, 1199 Bayfield Parkway, www.bayfieldgov.org.

Durango Farmers Market, 8 a.m., 259

Ukulele jam, 4 p.m., Magpies Newsstand

Guided nature walks, 9:45 a.m., Purgato-

Andy Janowsky, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

Neil Nelson and Steel Rodeo, 7 p.m.,

$5, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 375-2568.

W. Ninth St., www.durangofarmersmarket.com.

Cafe, 707 Main Ave., 259-1159.

Bayfield Farmers Market, 8:30 a.m.,

Dinner and cowboy music show, 5:30 p.m., $26, Bar D Chuckwagon, 8080 County Road 250, 247-5753.

Bayfield Roadside Park, U.S. Highway 160, 884-9544.

event, Animas River, www.durangogov.org.

ry Resort, 1 Skier Place, www.purgatoryresort. com.

Family fun picnic in the park, noon,

Toh-Atin 60th anniversary market and open house, 10 a.m., Toh-Atin Gallery,

Jason Thies, 6 p.m., Far View Lodge, Mesa

Buckley Park, 1200 Main Ave., www.durangogov.org.

Verde National Park, 529-4421.

The Assortment, 3 p.m., Buckley Park,

145 W. Ninth St., 247-8277.

Void Where Prohibited, 7 p.m., Rusty Shovel Saloon, 18044 County Road 501, 8842964.

Stars and stripes parade and street dance, 6 p.m., Main Avenue, www.duran-

Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m., Jean Pierre

Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 2477700. puwc 256937 change graphics

to summer art, Monday change headline to summer service specials, Bands, Brews and BBQ, 12:30 p.m., $11, Purgatory Resort, 1 Skier Place, www.purgatoPete Giuliani, 6 p.m., Far View Lodge, Mesa change exp to 7/31/17

DEALS

ryresort.com.

Verde National Park, 529-4421.

1200 Main Ave., www.durangogov.org.

gogov.org.

Tuesday jam, 6 p.m., Steaming Bean, 900

Main Ave., 403-1200.

Alumni party with the Pete Giuliani

Hotel, 726 East Second Ave., 385-1920.

DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio, 2596580.

“Dalai Lama Renaissance” film screening, 6 p.m., Himalayan Kitchen, 992

Main Ave., 259-0956.

The West in Story and Song, 7 p.m., $19-

$28, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www.dgomag.com, visit

www.swscene.com, click “Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form, and submit.

Listings at www.swscene.com will appear on www.dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www.swscene.com is free and takes one day to process.

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Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) This is a poor week for important family discussions because they will quickly become power struggles. Postpone these discussions for another week.

(Run and hide.)

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) This is a good week to get to the bottom of something. Nevertheless, don’t be too pushy if you want to persuade others to agree with you. Everyone has a right to their own opinion.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Squabbles about money, cash flow or possessions are likely this week. You might have to account for yourself or show someone where the money has gone.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

This week, Mercury is in your sign, opposite Pluto. This means that you will

be determined to get to the bottom of things and find out whatever it is you want to know.

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) Secrets might come out this week, whether people want them to come out or not. Yes, this includes you. It’s a tricky week.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Avoid arguments with friends or members of groups, especially if people are trying to get you to agree about something. People are very opinionated this week!

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) Steer clear of heavy-duty discussions with parents and bosses this week because they might become unpleasant and pushy. Many people are downright aggressive this week.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

Don’t let anyone talk you into anything this week, especially regarding politics, religion and racial issues. This is a classic week for a pushy person to get on his or her soapbox.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Power struggles about shared property and inheritances might take place this week. This is a poor week for these kind of discussions because they could turn nasty in a New York minute.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Your best option for keeping the peace this week is to be patient with partners and close friends. People are just too aggressive! Patience is your best ally.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) At work this week, you want to get to the bottom of things. This might even be literal – you will want to strip some-

thing down so that you can refinish or reupholster it.

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) Do not be overbearing with children this week. Remember to give every person a little space to have his or her own ideas because it’s the kind thing to do. Kindness is important.

BORN THIS WEEK You are sensitive, and your moods can change quickly. Home and family are important to you. This year, something you’ve been involved with for about nine years will end. You will begin to weigh old values and ideas that you once thought were important. This definitely is a year to be more involved with others. Giving may be important.

Get ready for a fresh, new cycle waiting in your future! © 2017 King Features Syndicate Inc.

weekly bestsellers June 18-24 »»Legacy of the Yosemite Mafia: The Ranger Image and Noble Cause Corruption at the National Park Service,

by Paul Berkowitz (Paperback) »»Everything, Everything, by Nicola Yoon (Paperback) »»Woman in Cabin 10, by Ruth Ware (Paperback) »»On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century, by Timothy Snyder (Paperback) »»You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, by Jen Sincero (Paperback) »»Emerald Mile, by Kevin Fedarko (Paperback) »»Homegrown Herbs: A Complete Guide to Growing, Using, and Enjoying More Than 100 Herbs, by Tammi Hartung (Paperback) »»Little Excavator, by Anna Dewdney (Hardcover) »»Breaking Wild, by Diane Les Becquets (Paperback) »»You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me: A Memoir, by Sherman Alexie (Hardcover)

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[Durango’s stories, told in their own words]

First Person | Cyle Talley

I CAN MAKE A PLAN, (BUT I PREFER NOT TO) »» Jake Padilla, on improvising

in both music and in life

I

Jake Padilla and I are having a beer together when we get to talking about playing guitar, preferring not to plan things out, and how those two things actually correlate. I tell his story here, in his own words.

’m in a punk band now. It’s fun.

Punk rock with riffs. Coming from a metal background, riffs are just sort of in you. You come up with a riff, rather than just chords and accompaniment. It’s fun stuff to play because you can make loud, heavy music catchier. The only bummer is that I’d like the songs to be a little longer. They’re all over in two minutes. Play the first riff, then play the second riff, then you’re done. [laughs] Short songs make it easier to thrash around and actually move though, so that’s more fun. I don’t have to make sure that I’m playing exactly the right notes all the time. That’s the kind of thing that turns a musician into a statue. [laughs] My last band changed a lot of things on the spot, we improvised a lot, and so I doubly had to make sure that I was spoton. It was kind of annoying. In terms of music, I’d rather be more thought out, composed, and methodical in my presentation. I think there’re a few different types of musicians: those that’ll figure it out as they go, and those that like to figure out what they’ll do and then do it.

I’m the second kind.

You know, it’s kind of funny. In my normal, everyday life, I don’t like to plan things.

In fact, when I get together with friends, I’m always the guy saying, “I’m not sure I wanna do that. What if something else comes up?” »» Jake Padilla plays with his band Long Con at The Summit in Denver.

My friends hate it. They used to call me Jake the Flake. I don’t like being “that guy,” but I also don’t know that I want to change it. I can make about the clock. It’s always going to be running. a plan, but I prefer not to. I’m getting better [at planWho cares? ning things] to my dismay. I don’t want to be a slave I look around sometimes and think that people to time, I guess. I see a lot of people making plans, are just being oppressed by time. It seems like and they’re very regimented – and that’s the other they’re single-tracked, one-minded, regimented, thing, I’m not a very regimented person, either. If and I feel like – well, OK, [laughs] my girlfriend is I have a day off, I may wake up at 6, or I may wake a really good example. Let’s go there. [laughs] She up at 11. It depends on how I feel at the time. Which loves to make plans. She and I are still figuring out sounds so ridiculous, but it’s true. I’m just not worhow to make it work, but we’re getting there. It’s always a big deal when something gets worked out. ried about the clock, and I don’t want to be worried

It’s an accomplishment that we celebrate. [laughs] She’s a dancer, so she has a pretty specific version of time. Every time we wake up, she’s already reading out the agenda for the day. I’m just waking up, and I want to say, [rubs eyes as if waking up] “Can you give me two hours?”

She takes it in stride, mostly, but she’s a little impatient with me in the morning.

Then again, I’m a little impatient with her at night. She falls asleep at 8:30, and I’m over here saying, “It’s still light out. I’m just getting my wind!” But I think that’s pretty common with planners. They hit the day running, get their stuff done first, and then have free time later. Whereas I prefer to be eased into things. I would say that about everything. Any plan that I make, any time that I have, I like to get warmed up for what we’re doing, rather than a cool down.

So I guess this all correlates to where we started. I feel like the warm-up is my chance to deliberate within myself, plan, and then once the time comes for performance and execution, I’m ready. Do it, done. [snaps fingers] My girlfriend’s preferences come out in her performances, too.

All of the high-intensity, hard stuff comes out early on. She’s teaching a summer session in San Francisco right now, and she was totally freaking out before she left.

Kind of freaking out before, during, and after the first day, too. But the exercises that she’s having her students do are really heady, emotionally vulnerable, and heavy-duty.

But near the end of the session, they’re just kind of going to be cleaning up the small details. They’ll be ready for their performance well before the performance actually happens. Crazy. I’ve never thought about that.

Cyle Talley is perpetually late, and also constantly checking his wristwatch. Go figure. Email him at: cyle@cyletalley.com.

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