Why Yoga?

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, October 19, 2017

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Four Durango yoga teachers, on misconceptions and the power to improve and change your life

WHY

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YOGA?

Also: Exclusive interview with “Jungle� director Greg McLean, going out alone in Durango, and a new advice column debuts

DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 2 Number 52 Thursday October 19, 2017

Editor/ creative director David Holub dholub@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer Patty Templeton ptempleton@bcimedia.com Contributors Katie Cahill Cassidy Cummings Christopher Gallagher Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch Brett Massé Lucy Schaefer Cooper Stapleton Robert Alan Wendeborn Sales

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Photos from Telluride Horror Show 2017

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From the Editor

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Love it or Hate it

DGO staff writer Patty Templeton was at Teluride Horror Show last weekend. She came back with an interview of famed director Greg McLean (Page 6) and a whole buncha pictures. For more photos, go to dgomag.com

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Street Style

8

Sound

Patty Templton/DGO

Cassie Constanzo

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Heartbreak Combatant: Party of one This week’s goal: To insert myself into the mix of Durango nightlife by visiting three bars of different genres; try a local cocktail; make a new female friend.

Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis Founding Editors Amy Maestas David Holub

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‘You do not kill the dog’ Greg McLean, director of “Jungle,” starring Daniel Radcliffe, talks to DGO at Telluride Horror Show 2017 about the appeal of telling true stories, defying convention, and mistakes in filmmaking.

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

10 Beer 11 Travel

Get Outta Town 1 1

Wanderlust 11

16 Weed Seeing Through the Smoke 16

17 Pages

Reader Services Chief Executive Officer

8

Album Reviews 9

375-4553 375-4570

Downtown Lowdown

18 New advice column

18 Carolyn Hax

We’re trying out a new advice column in these pages.

Carolyn Hax, advice column for The Washington Post, makes her DGO debut.

Don’t fret if you still want Dan Savage; he can be found at dgomag.com

/dgomag

19 Happening 20 DGO Deals 22 Horoscope/ puzzles 20 Pics

/dgomag @dgo_mag

ON THE COVER We put the “why” in Yoga.

David Holub/DGO; source images via Adobe Stock

Tell us what you think!

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know?

Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

A SAVVY MAGAZINE FOR A SAVVY CUSTOMER.

Call 375-4570 or email info@dgomag.com

CARRY DGO IN YOUR BUSINESS

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[ love it or hate it ]

David Holub |DGO editor

Puzzles Love it

‘Never be the only nude one,’ and other journaling artifacts

W

hile reading David Sedaris’ “Theft by Finding: Diaries 19772002,” last weekend (I have been floored by this book – stop reading this now and go pick up that book), I came across a collection of diary entries of sorts of my own. From 1996 to around 2014, I kept a collection of disjointed and disparate thoughts I had. Some of them are serious, most are not. Some are based on real events and conversations. The point of all this? Who knows? Probably none. You decide. Here are some of my favorites: »» I used to think bow-leggedness was caused by riding horses. I’m not so sure that’s true anymore. »» My favorite all-you-can-eat place requested that I call in ahead before I come so they can clear some space for an extra tub of mashed potatoes. »» It’s never cool to be the only nude one. »» They called it an accident. But covering the inside of my windshield with cherry pie filling before my car plunged over the side of that bridge was no accident. »» We always imagine animals playing sports but never stop to think that those sports would also need animal referees. »» My friend used the bathroom at my house and flushed the toilet with her foot. »» I cooked a veggie sausage link with a pork sausage link today. I feel like I insulted both of them. »» If you’re going to do one of those trust exercises where you fall backward off a chair, you need to let me know ahead of time. »» The windows on my car are permanently rolled down and the noise from the flapping of the fallen upholstery makes it impossible to carry a conversation. »» The muffin pan palm gets its name because its fronds look like little muffin pans. »» The manager at my favorite all-youcan-eat place approached me and said, “There’s no way around it. We’re going to have to start charging you more.” »» I showed the doctor a growth on my leg and he threw up a little. »» Today, a grocery store clerk referred to me as “The Funyuns Guy.”

»» By the time my hair had clumped into dreadlocks I was no longer a hippie. »» Hobophiliac pickup line No. 29: What else will you work for? »» In anticipation of eating cheese puffs, I wore my orange polo so that I could wipe my fingers on my shirt. »» There’s no right way to eat an entire tub of ice cream in one sitting. »» Office rule No. 19: Because you sit by the copy machine, surely you know how to fix it when it’s broken. And also where the extra paper is kept. »» I was the reason they had to start laminating menus at Mexican restaurants. »» They call them cowboys, but I think “horseboy” is more accurate. »» “Did we discuss if you’d make me a big diaper to wear around the house?” She paused, gave it some thought. “No.” »» I had a weird dream last night: I was at my old high school, wearing clothes and passing my math class just fine. »» To whom it may concern: I’m so sorry about bringing those termites over the other day. I had no idea they’d eat your house. »» I found a wooden arm in a forest of metal trees. This seems important. »» Ever go to bed, wake up with a sprained ankle, and not have any mud in the blankets to explain things like last time? »» He said, “I wonder if anyone’s ever made a baby ride a deer.” She considered the thought, then said, “Probably.” »» I shaved my beard and underneath I found the fake beard I thought had been lost all this time. »» No-big-deal-breaker: When you have absolutely no idea if someone will blithely go along with your request or furiously walk away from the table. »» The first person to ever wear a backpack was the Pharaoh Ramses II, who developed one to carry his tablets to school in third grade. »» Since when does being told your zipper is down 17 times in 23 days mean you’re doing it on purpose? »» I ate 49 hot dogs in 10 minutes for a contest. Admittedly, I got caught up in the spirit of competition, but 42 of those were eaten out of pure hunger.

I often find myself in a conundrum, torn between two desires often at odds with one another: A desire to spend time with other people and a paralyzing fear that we will not have anything to talk about to the point of awkward catastrophe.

Hence, when it comes to spending time with others, it helps to have a stated activity as the purpose of being together and anything on top of that is a bonus – stimulating conversation, for instance. These stated activities usually involve limited concentration, physical exertion, or distractions. Hiking, car rides, and watching sports games come to mind. But one of my favorites: Puzzles.

With puzzles, you can talk or not talk. You can put on music or a podcast. You can eat and drink. It can be as meditative as you want it to be.

This says nothing of doing the actual puzzle, which is nearly as great as the social time it inspires. Seeing an image come together brick by brick, scanning what has been completed with a piece in your fingers, trying it here and there, this way and that, and then when you find that piece’s match and everything fits so perfect, it’s enough to make your heart melt. It’s like a thousand love stories on your kitchen table.

—— David Holub

Hate it Are you kidding me? Where is it? WHERE IS IT? ::peers under mugs and shifts a chip bag to see beneath it:: ::looks under table:: ::jumps up and down to dislodge hidden pieces:: It’s gone. A piece is gone. Every dang time I try to put together a puzzle, there is a missing piece. It could be a brand new puzzle, and an hour into pressing it together, gremlins have inexplicably stolen a key freakin’ piece. WTH. Additionally, I know that puzzles work as a meditative force for some, but for me, they are boring at best and mildly infuriating at worst. I am not necessarily the most patient person. I want to know everything now. I want to be everywhere now. I want to do everything now. Life is short, and I want the entire universe inside me and to belch out adventure and beauty with every breath. Puzzles are not my kind of slowdown. If I want to slow down, I’ll do yoga. I’ll go for a walk.

I’ll breathe deep, looking at the stars.

Jumping into a jigsaw ain’t my kind of fun. In fact, all the word “jigsaw” now reminds me of is the creepy, spiral-cheeked puppet creature from the “Saw” movies. No and thanks.

—— Patty Templeton

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[single life]

Heartbreak Combatant | Cassidy Cummings

The vulnerability of a night out alone in downtown Durango Mission brief Mission 4: Barhop to three places alone.

Objectives: Insert myself into the mix of Durango nightlife by visiting three bars of different genres; try a local cocktail; make a new female friend.

Mission report At 9:30 p.m. on a Friday night, buoyed by the promise of procuring some liquid courage, I entered The Bookcase & Barber and announced the Latin password. A barber opened a passageway concealed within a (spoiler alert) bookcase to point me toward a seat at the bar. Through the lens of the old-fashioned ambiance, liquor bottles on shelves resembled elixirs of an apothecary, specially formulated for ailments such as un-wet whistles and too-healthy livers. One of the other barbers came in and asked to take the seat next to me, which was a relief since I was the only single person in a collection of groups, and had begun to feel the nag of self-consciousness. I selected the “Castaway” off the drink menu, and it may have been the best cocktail I’ve ever had – sophisticated, refreshing, and imbued with beguiling seaside undertones. It tasted like a clean shoreline where seagulls have taken an oath of silence. It tasted like Chris Isaak writhing with Helena Christensen on a private beach in exquisite black and white. It tasted like Chris Isaak giving a piggyback ride to a mute seagull ... no wait, maybe it was Helena.

The barber’s rich life experiences belied his young age, and his level of self-awareness was inspiring. Some of his comments helped soften my embarrassment about being alone, and I realized any inquisitions surrounding my solo status would likely originate from curiosity rather than judgment. A couple eventually sat on the other side of me and engaged us in conversation. I prolonged my stay at this bar, clinging to the positive social interaction in fear that I might not receive it anywhere else.

I dreamed of making a new female friend during my walkabout, but knew that infiltrating a cluster of women would be a clusterfudge. “Ahoy, madams!

Have y’all tried the beauty treatment that makes dead skin peel off your feet within three to five days? I’m Cassidy, by the way!” It was clear that a one-on-one encounter might serve me better in the befriending process, but locating another anomaly like me seemed impossible ... until I stepped inside the Irish Embassy and zeroed in on a girl seated at the bar alone. I left one stool between us, stole a few glances at her, and then – seizing the opportunity with gusto – I initiated

David Holub/DGO

a conversation. This girl was rad. She was fun and playful with banter, a kick-butt rock climber, and we managed to find some common ground immediately.

The bartender offered us shots, and since she ordered whiskey, I tried to hang by agreeing to whiskey myself.

I only downed half before my face contorted into that scrunched sour-lemon face, the damning mark of a rookie. Thanks to her receptiveness, being vulnerable paid off and I was lucky enough to accomplish the objective I cared about most – I got her number for a future friend-date!

My last stop prides itself on being a last stop – when you hit The Ranch at midnight or later, quite a few patrons are well on their way to Main and Blackout. It is a haven for debauchery, a place to leave decorum at the door. It wasn’t as crowded or wild as I’ve seen it before, but there was still no room at the bar, so I took that as a sign to wind down my night. I recognized a budtender from the Durango Rec Room, and he kindly introduced me to a group of foreign exchange students attending Fort Lewis. I waved off my tipsiness and settled in for some foreign diplomacy: I uncovered that in Germany, they also call Justin Bieber fans “Beliebers,” and a “brain fart” is exactly the same over there as well. I can’t imagine why, but they left somewhat abruptly, and the nice guy manning the

door chatted with me instead.

I’ve previously showered the Durango scenery with praise, and shortsightedly omitted how friendly the people are. Going out alone became a reminder of the prevailing friendliness that shapes this town into feeling like home to me. Not a home I was born into, but a home in the truest sense – a home I belong to.

People in Durango will initiate a conversation with you not necessarily with the intention of becoming friends, but because of some intrinsic belief that your story is more valuable than the ease of silence. And just like that, you kinda feel like you matter here ... and therefore, you belong.

Next mission: Go out to dinner and a movie alone.

Debriefing Outcome: Mission Accomplished Skills Improved/Commendations: Social Skills, Mixology Appreciation, Whiskey Demerit, Befriending Badge Heart-mending Effectiveness (out of 5 hearts): ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Cassidy Cummings is a local philanthropist who always puts the extra roll of toilet paper in a logical place.

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[movies]

‘YOU DO NOT KILL

»» Greg McLean, director of ‘Jungle,’ starring

Daniel Radcliffe, talks to DGO about the appeal of telling true stories, defying convention, and mistakes in filmmaking

SPOILER WARNING: You find out if the main character lives or dies by the second question of this interview. I mean, it is a true story from the ’80s so, seriously, smalls, there’s been time to find that out, but just letting you know.

Greg McLean is an intentional director who deals in deep truth.

His movies, such as “Wolf Creek,” are marked by the brutality of being and enduring savage circumstances. McLean’s newest film, “Jungle,” is slated for an Oct. 20 release and is based on the true story of Yossi Ghinsberg (Daniel Radcliffe) who, in 1981, was lost in an uncharted part of the Amazonian jungle with little to no supplies. It is a harrowing film that follows the gruesome course of a starving man, losing his mind, but still setting his heart on hope and gratitude.

DGO caught a preview of “Jungle” at the Telluride Horror Show.

It’s the kinda flick that’ll make you cringe in your seat, hold your breath, and immediately want to talk about it. We caught up with McLean to discuss “Jungle” and wandered into a convo covering everything from mythic structure to never killing the dog.

Why was “Jungle” an important story for you to tell?

I was looking for a movie that would take me on a journey, personally, that was one reason. I was looking for something different, a film that wasn’t strictly horror. I found it to be a very moving story, a true story, and it kind of made me cry. Anything that has that effect on me, I get drawn to. It was inspiring. That’s why I wanted to do it.

“Wolf Creek” was based on a true story, “The Belko Experiment” is based on real, morally gray psychological studies, and “Jungle” is based on a true survival tale. Why work in true stories?

I think scary stories that have an element of truth are always scarier. That’s one of the reasons why I was drawn to the “Wolf Creek” story. I originally started writing a script that was a silly thriller and then I found out all these true stories that were so much more terrifying than what I could come up.

They were real and I had something to grapple with.

A lot of the great horror films have an element of truth, whatever shred it is or however much it is manipulated to make a movie. “The Conjuring” is based

on a true story. I love those films, but if you know anything about the cases you go [raises eyebrow]. It’s such a shred of truth, but it doesn’t matter. It helps the audience connect to it in a different way.

“Jungle” is all about telling a true story and, in a way, removing myself and the filmmaking out of the way of that truth. The book itself was written by Yossi Ghinsberg, who was not a writer.

He blurted out what happened in a confessional way. I was trying to capture that simplicity in the filmmaking.

Did Yossi Ghinsberg give you any tips about how to portray his story?

He identified the mythic structure of the story that unintentionally happened. Each of his friends who were drawn together had archetypal qualities ingrained. It made the situation that happened able to happen. All archetypes have a positive and a negative and his friend Kevin, who is the hero in the story, he is the knight archetype, but the downside of the knight is that he can be so rigid and strict that he can be brutal. Yossi was the fool who is innocent but naive to a detriment

»» Director Greg McLean in Telluride for the Telluride Horror Show Oct. 14.

where he fell into his own trap. Yossi laid out the mythic, archetypal qualities and I tried to draw those elements out in the film. The film is simple, the story is simple, but there is a hope to it and a depth through these archetypal qualities.

writer or a storyteller, and if you make one thing that works in one genre, everyone is like, “Oh my god, you do that. That is your love.” But artists love everything. You absorb everything and one year you’re really into this and the next you’re really into that.

Do movies get easier to make the more you make them?

Is there a lush costume drama hidden inside you? What does “completely different” mean?

I’ve done a couple movies, but I still feel like with every film, I am just beginning to learn how to make films.

I think the next thing I do, I want it to be completely and utterly different, as well – try and keep developing. There are so many things you want to do as a

Yes, definitely. I have a script now that I’ve been dancing around and it’s a gothic horror costume period drama.

There are forces in my life saying, “Don’t do that,” but I’m drawn to it. I love films that are all atmosphere and

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Horror films can be confusing to people in the mainstream who see them as nasty or evil or bad or antisocial. They miss the point of what scary stories are and what scary stories do.

When you think about fairy tales and mythology and if you look at all the ancient myths, they all have so many horrific elements to them. If you want a horror story, look at the Bible. There are so many fantastic horror images in it. The purpose of the horror tale, whether it is religious or a fairy tale, is that they are teaching stories. They are moral stories. They’re all about action and consequence. Modern horror stories, whether it’s “Friday the 13th” or “Evil Dead” or “Paranormal Activity,” the good ones that resonate have a core idea that speaks to people about what you should and shouldn’t do and social mores we were telling 5,000 years ago. Don’t go to this place – if you do, something bad will happen. If you break this rule or moral code, bad will happen.

Is there something you wish you could take back from the screen?

Patty Templeton/DGO

texture, like “Rebecca” and “Jamaica Inn,” films that are all about enclosed areas. It’s a challenge.

People invest in you doing one thing and it is shocking to them if you can even think about doing something else.

I understand it. From an industry level, people need to be able to compartmentalize people.

How do you think horror movies train people to handle real life?

I read something recently that watching a horror film, for some people, is a release of their own anxiety. It is other people having a problem and it allows the person to separate them-

I think something that was a mistake was in “Rogue.” There’s a dog that’s owned by one of the main characters.

In the end, the dog gets chewed up on screen by a crocodile. At the time, I thought this was really great, but basically, there’s a rule that you do not kill the dog in the movie. I did not know that rule. The film was my ode to the old-time classic, ’70s, monster out of control movies. It was that, until that point. At that point, I feel like I lost the audience. I was at a screening. People getting ripped apart by a crocodile?

Great! Dog getting eaten on screen?

Bad move for that movie. I would probably let the dog live. Let him run back in the end like Lassie and save the day.

You can kill a cat, you just can’t kill the dog.

Interview edited and condensed for clarity.

—— Patty Templeton

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[sound] [style] Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

San Diego’s Abner is digging that rock ’n’ roll lifestyle

P Patty Templeton/DGO

»» Keyré Zick’s bag hangs low and holds a lot.

DURANGO STREET STYLE:

COLOR POPS AND COOL BAGS “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted,” said Aesop, the storyteller of ancient Grecian fame. You never know when a seemingly small compliment will make someone’s day or week.

Speaking of, DGO met Keyré Zick at Purg’s Oktoberfest, and she made us smile to the wide open world.

She was a generous conversationalist, amiable, and open, and we not only crushed on her kindness but her subtle style.

Here’s Zick’s take on fashion.

Zick

“I am casual, comfortable, not super trendy. I like a lotta black, but I gotta throw a little bit of color in there. I think my friends would call my style shabby chic, maybe.

I like to go to thrift shops and consignment stores. My friend’s give me a lot of their old clothes. That’s my favorite. When a friend is getting rid of a bag and they ask, ‘Hey, you wanna go through it?’ Hell, yeah I do!

And, oh my gosh, a good bag. It has to look cute, but it has to be able to hold EVERYTHING. If anything, my purse is the most important part of my outfit. It holds my lotion and lipstick and makeup and snacks – you gotta have snacks. It hangs low. It holds a lot. I love my bag.”

—— Patty Templeton

erhaps best approach to making a buck in the pain in the ass music business is an honest admission that the music business is in fact a pain in the ass. It’s certainly not a business slam dunk, and the wreckage of formerly starry-eyed musicians that now litter the music highway proves that “success” can be a cruel mistress. Especially in a world where people want your art for free.

Hats off to the bands that are out there in the field, the musicians that are writing, recording, and touring in addition to holding down full-time jobs, while researching the best approach to get their art into the hands of the people.

For many musicians, the main reason they write and record is so that their product gets heard, and the community they exist in is the place they know they need to be.

San Diego-based rock band Abner exists in that community, a place where, despite economic uncertainty and without a guarantee of success, the discourse remains music and the approach is backed by a strong work ethic.

Abner will be in Durango Friday Oct. 20 at The Balcony Backstage, playing with Versa Vice.

“The most challenging thing about playing in a band is trying to decide what the wisest thing to do next is.

All of the other things that go into a band often have folks – from social media marketing, talent booking, to media and logo design. When you’re independent, all of those things are up to you,” said guitar player and vocalist Adam Baez. “But within that is a lifestyle that is hard to quit. The subculture with the kind people who put you up in their houses and feed you the food out of their fridge that makes you feel a sense of well-being. It’s foolish to say that I know the answer to musical success. But as time goes on, I realize that the ride is the most enjoyable thing and the family I have through music is where I belong.”

Bryant’ best Friday: Rock music with Abner and Versa Vice. 9 p.m. No cover. The Balcony Backstage, 600 Main Ave. upstairs. Information: 422-8008.

Saturday: The Outskirts, 9 p.m.

No cover. El Rancho Tavern, El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave. Information: 259-8111.

Abner came together via audio production classes at Mira Costa College outside San Diego; Baez had some songs that he shared with drummer Kyle Hansen, and Ian Blaemire was recruited soon after.

Their approach for writing and releasing tunes takes advantage of the notion that consumers digest singles, knowing that many casual music buyers usually purchase an album for only one or two songs; it’s a streamlined, trim-the-fat approach. “Beads of Fire” is their latest effort, a rock song heavy on guitar riffs, a harder single that also explores crafted melody. Abner is a band that gives a slight nod to darker rock music but also, at times, digs into a jagged, stabbing and angular guitar sound The single approach is just another avenue to make sense of a changing business model.

“Unfortunately, the business of music is just that – it’s business, an open market where everyone in this country has the right to put themselves on with the hopes and opportunity of creating a niche that acquires demand,” said Baez. “With that being said, it is easy to blame society for not creating a demand. I take it as a challenge to keep writing songs and doing everything I can to give folks a place to jam and relate. In five years, we hope to, at the very least, be having as much fun as we are now. This is a lifestyle choice that is meant to be embraced. I see a future of success in that.”

Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

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[sound] What’s new The Routes,“Dirty Needles and Pins” Available: Friday, Nov. 17, via the NYC and Long Beach, New York, label Greenway Records in what I imagine will be an impressive vinyl offering with a somewhat limited pressing. Digital versions may or may not be available from UK’s Dirty Water Records (Archie and The Bunkers, The Darts, Suicide Generation, etc.) sooner to now.

When you are thumbing through stacks of records or compact discs, whether in the new or used bin at your favorite local record store, thrift store, record swap, or wherever you pick up physical mediums of music, sometimes

New at

Oct. 20 Iron Chic,“You Can’t Stay Here” My name is Cooper Stapleton and I sometimes like to listen to pop punk.

There’s nothing wrong with admitting it. Iron Chic first showed themselves when I was deep in my nothing-but-Southern-California-grindcore phase, and I tried to ignore them for a long time. But I’ll be damned if I said they didn’t write supremely catchy punk rock. There are chord changes, there are shouted choruses about how much [insert town here] sucks and that we should get out while we can. There is an earnestness that a lot of bigger bands of the genre can no longer claim.

With their new one from Side One Dummy records, Iron Chic has gone a long way in proving that the genre has quite a bit to offer the world. And now, being labelmates with the likes of Gogol Bordello and Flogging Molly, they are finally amongst their peers.

And So I Watch You From Afar,“Endless Shimmering” As I listen to the first selection off of “Endless Shimmering,” I am immediately brought back to the raucous youth of instrumental bands like Explosions in the Sky and Russian Circles – stirring and emotive post-rock that ebbs and flows its way along, like the banks of

you have to judge an album by its cover. Now, I do realize your handheld computer allows you to listen and preview any music at any time and taking a plunge on looks alone is, in this day and age, somewhat unnecessary.

So I’m not only dating myself, but perhaps whatever audience there is for reviews like mine, but sometimes that random grab is not just fulfilling but exciting. As I’ve mentioned before, you can also judge a band by the company they keep.

Shinichi Nakayama on drums and Toru Nishimuta on bass. The band’s online bio via the Dirty Water website states the band is “based in a bowl in the mountains (Hita City, Oita prefecture)” and gigs “independently over 600 miles south of the Tokyo garage scene.” They bash out cuts that feel familiar and draw influence from a slew of great rock forbearers such as The Kinks, Dirty Pretty Things, The 13th Floor Elevators, Loop, and early Spaceman 3.

Case in point with Japan’s premier garage surf psych export, The Routes.

Dirty Needles and Pins is the second release this year from Chris Jack (guitar, bass, vocals, and organ) and a

rotating cast of live players. Drums on the album are handled by Jonathan Hillhouse. The touring lineup includes

the Animas River. The music, shards of guitar work punctuating simple but driving drums, moves forward at a brisk pace, layering shimmering (true to their name) leads on top of shimmering leads, culminating in a crescendo, a break, and the occasional segue into strings.

Matt Heafy seems to have rekindled the fire in his voice along with his riffing getting another layer of meat. I highly recommend this band to those that love modern hard rock and radio metal but want to get into a band that has a little more to sink your teeth into.

Recommended for fans of any of the aforementioned, or for those that dig taking a chance on a band based on album and tour art. Give it a go!

—— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

Other notable releases: Bela Fleck and Abigail Washburn, Nahko and the Medicine for the People, Brand New, and “Veil of Maya,” a live documentary from Slipknot.

—— Cooper Stapleton

Bloody Beetroots,“Great Electronic Swindle” Now here is one that I didn’t see coming and welcome wholeheartedly. I love a good meld of punk and electronic, whether it be the weird pop noise of liars, the dreamy crashes of HEALTH, or, now, the shrieking nu-metal bursts of the four-to-the-floor electronic that is The Bloody Beetroots. BB first caught my attention a while back working with my punk rock hero Justin Pearson, and they have stayed on my periphery since.

The bursts I’ve heard of the aptly referenced “Great Electronic Swindle” do not disappoint, showing a reverence for glorious arena rock from ages gone by while embracing the bombastic nature of the arena DJs that dominate the prevailing musical culture in the now.

Trivium,“Sin And The Sentence” Trivium, with their second album “The Ascendancy” way back in 2005, was one of my stepping stones into extreme music when I was a wee lad of 13. I have fallen away from their blend of thrashy guitar-led structure and almost operatic singing emphasized by shouts of defiance, but I always come back to check out the new records whenever they drop. Gone are the days of the Metallica-clone sound, as are the days of straight up metalcore structure. Vocalist

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[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

My favorite moments from two years of ‘First Draughts’

I

n the next two weeks, DGO will celebrate two years of journalistic success and last month celebrated its 100th issue. In the past two years, I have written 98 columns (this is 99!) about beer and drinking and other things however loosely associated with alcohol and Durango. I’ve interviewed brewers and packaging people and accountants. I’ve written about hangover recovery, the necessity of planning for day-drinking, and being a responsible human who drinks alcohol. I’ve written about sports and pizza and brewery cat Instagram accounts, and Netflix and chill. I’ve also written things that I’m very proud of: The in-

depth and personal writing about brewery work, the historical explanation of certain styles of beer, and getting to talk to other amazing beer professionals about their craft.

In that spirit, I’ve collected for you here today some of my favorite quotes and pulls from my favorite pieces of First Draughts. Thanks for a wonderful two years, and here’s to 100 more issues!

From ‘Indie brewers are the innovators’: Craft beer is still growing. There’s still a lot of interest from big money.

But everything feels flat and there’s a lot of defeatist feelings and vibes happening. Even still, I see a lot of

bright spots in the beer community.

We’re buckling down on quality and on our relationships with our suppliers. We’re really blowing the doors off of what beer can be and what it can do. I see so much experimentation and innovation happening in the community and that, I think, will continue to push beer as the drink of choice.

From ‘We have other things to drink’: Out of all the possible non-alcoholic liquids that a person can safely consume, water is perhaps the most abundant and necessary. Water is a clear, light to no-bodied, naturally-occurring substance found on Earth and possibly throughout the universe, and is neces-

sary for all known forms of life. Water can naturally be found warm, hot, cold, or it can even be a solid, in the form of crystal water – ice – or a gas, in the form of steam. Most water on earth is salty, but there are abundant sources of “fresh,” or non-salinated, water. Water is so abundant that it regularly falls from the sky.

From ‘When Beer Fatigue Hit’: When I tell people that I work in a brewery, they always say, “Oh man, you must get so much free beer.”

And yes, I do. I drink beer at work, I drink beer after work, I drink beer in my sleep. I drink beer so often that I get tired of beer. I get physically Continued on Page 11

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[travel]

Scams, rain, and buses: A trying time in Vietnam

GET OUTTA TOWN Quirky & cool spots in the Four Corners and beyond

WANDERLUST

The haunted KiMo

Travel stories worth telling

November 2014. Somewhere in downtown Hanoi, Vietnam, waiting for our hired guide to escort us to our bus that will take us (my friend, myself, and our two 100cc Honda motorbikes, plus gear) through the night to Dong Hoi. Dude rolls up, makes sure we’re good to go, starts leading us through the hectic rush-hour traffic of Hanoi toward the bus station.

Something didn’t feel right.

Once at the bus station, we get extorted to pay for the “escort,” which we already paid at the travel agency. Nope.

This is a scam, and I’m instantly pissed at the dude. F@#k it: pay the guy ($5), get back on the bikes and head back through Hanoi rush hour, AGAIN.

The dead love the theater. Point an electromagnetic field reader at any stage and you’re bound to find a spirit in a rage.

The KiMo Theatre, 423 Central Ave SW in Albuquerque, isn’t any different. The KiMO has weekly, free guided tours or you can go on your own quiet walk-through. The fanciest haunt in ABQ even has guided, haunted tours on Halloween weekend, but grab your $5 tickets early because they sell out quick.

Courtesy of Matt Porter

»» Matt Porter at the top of Hai Van Pass, next to the trusty 100cc motorbike that took him 1600 km throughout the entire country in five weeks.

Finally get the right escort and find our bus, barely. We were told that we’d get dropped off at a bus station. Wrong again. “Bus station” meant the side of the road on the outskirts of town at 4 a.m. in a torrential downpour. We hang out underneath some random awning until the rain lets up with an even more distraught girl from London. Rain never breaks.

First light finally shows itself, maybe 5:30 a.m. We decide “screw it, let’s ride,” so we get on and head toward Phong Nha-Khe Bang National Park and the town of Son Trach. Luckily, or unluckily, I didn’t sleep much on the bus (surprise!), especially when being jolted awake 10 minutes before our stop by Vietnamese radio blasting at a solid 12 out of 10, at 3:45 a.m. Whatever – I’m glad to be off that bus.

Midway through our ride to Son Trach, I had to stop for coffee since I was so out of it – riding through rural Central Vietnam on maybe 1.5 hours of sleep, in the

From Page 10

exhausted from drinking beer. I call it Beer Fatigue. It’s rare, but it happens from time to time. On a recent trip to Washington D.C. to flip off the White House and attend the Craft Brewers Conference, I might have experienced the most severe case of beer fatigue in my life.

From ‘Weed and craft beer go hand in hand’: Yes, pretty much from Day 1 of my time in Louisiana, I became a criminal.

I am in possession of marijuana, and sometimes I buy it ... from a drug deal-

rain. Pull into the first place that looked like they might have something caffeinated – middle of nowhere, tiny house on the edge of a rice paddy at the edge of the road. (I remember) the warm cups of coffee. The hesitant smiles of the family we were commissioning for our morning buzz. The fog/rain clearing and (being) almost to the destination.

I’m still not sure what made that part of the trip incredibly memorable. To this day, I believe it was the true sense of adventure and uncertainty I had found myself smack in the middle of, whether I enjoyed it at the time or not.

Got a travel story worth telling? Write it in about 400 words and send it to editor@dgomag.com. If you’d rather tell your story, send a brief synopsis along with your full name and phone number to the same address. Either way, your story should be true.

Who the heck would haunt a 90-year-old theater decked out in red and gold filigree?

A tiny little 6-year-old, that’s who. On Aug. 2, 1951, nearly 1,000 people were crammed into the KiMo to see “Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man.” Little Bobby Darnall left his seat to get popcorn. Hell and fire, that’s when the basement boiler exploded and broke the lobby to bits. Darnall died and eight others were injured.

Now, Darnall is credited with a many number of misdeeds, including but not limited to tripping actors, causing lights to explode, and generally freaking everyone the F out.

You can hear more about the mischievous dead kid, a 1960s fire at the KiMo, and how the theater narrowly escaped the wrecking ball in the ’70s, if you hit up a guided KiMo tour.

For deets on getting the creeps, go to www.kimotickets.com.

—— Patty Templeton

er! It’s a difficult and strange world, I know; it’s like a bizarro “Twilight Zone” episode or something.

From ‘Pumpkin beer: The scariest thing about Halloween’ Right now, as a brewer, I’m thinking, buttery-ness, creamed corn ... wow, those are some serious off flavors! But I assure you, that’s just what pumpkin tastes like: A really shitty beer.

Robbie Wendeborn is the head brewer at Svendæle Brewing in Millerton, New York.

He is also a former beer plumber at Ska Brewing.

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A TIME FOR »» Mindfulness, presence, body, and

mind: The practice is more than flexibility, bendy poses

I

bet you’re busier than mustard trying to ketchup. Everyone is. School, work, heightened political turmoil, errands, and the needs of family and friends take our attention. It can feel like you’re getting through life rather than living it.

Yoga can help.

I know, I know. You have a list of get-shit-done so long it gives migraines at a glance, and I’m telling you to add to it. Even 10 minutes of yoga a day, or every other day, can help build presence and positivity in your life. Don’t let me convince you. Let the experts. DGO spoke to Sheryl McGourty of YogaDurango, Sarah Klein of the Whole Health Lab, Susan Atkinson of Sunrise Yoga, and Kathy Curran of 4 Corners Yoga about people’s misconceptions, and the power of yoga to change people’s lives.

YOGA What are misconceptions that people have about yoga?

consistent periods of reflection, are going to lead toward personal growth and transformation. It’s not that it has to be yoga.

McGourty: People gauge whether or not they should do yoga by if they can touch their toes. That’s not what it is. It is such a bigger practice than the shapes you make. It’s a practice of learning about who you are.

We are so busy these days and there is so much to take in and we can be witnessing a lot of suffering and when we give ourselves time and space to be reflective and contemplative, there will be transformation. I joke around at the studio a lot because you think you come in to stretch and it sneaks up on you. Someone comes in with the attitude of, “I just need to stretch it out,” which is fine, no one has to go on some long spiritual journey at our studio, but the majority of people who come in do tend to find more than just stretching.

Klein: “I’m not flexibile enough!” It’s a meme at this point. Yoga is

not for the flexible, yoga is for the willing. Or, “I can’t sit still enough.”

Another misconception is that is it only postures. Ashtanga yoga means “the eight-limbed path.” There are eight pieces to this practice of yoga. One of those limbs is asana, which is postures. Another limb is pranayama, which is breath control. When you walk into your typical yoga class, you are maybe getting two out of eight limbs. There’s so much more to the practice.

Atkinson: I heard a physical therapist one time say, “I don’t do yoga, I’m not flexible enough.” That’s why you go to the yoga class!

It’s not a discipline that is designed for people who are already flexible. People also think, “I’m not getting cardio so why should I do a yoga class?”

Curran: I think the biggest one is that physical yoga is only one of the eight limbs of yoga. The initial intention with the physical poses was to get fit enough to be able to sit and meditate. It is really all about mind training. I think a lot of people in this day and age view it only as a physical endeavor and don’t realize the profound effects it has for mind training.

How can a dedicated yoga practice change someone’s life?

McGourty: I think that any practice – could be yoga, could be meditation, could be time in nature, anything that allows us long,

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Curran: One of the reasons I love this particular form of yoga (Iyengar) is because it’s not one-size-fits-all. If someone comes into an entry-level or all-level class, we have them fill out a form of their limitations. Then we can structure the class around giving them modifications that make it safe for them. I have students with all sorts of injuries. I had someone come back from a surgery in July with two new knees yesterday. I know how to work around that so she doesn’t get in trouble.

I also have students with emotional issues, depression and so on, who get relief. Some of the poses we call “nature’s mood elevators” because they bring relief. There have been a lot of studies over the past several years that have documented why yoga works. Amy Cuddy, the Harvard psychologist who wrote the book “Presence,” she documents a lot of how changing the physical shape of the body changes the brain chemistry ... There’s another study that shows that certain positions, depending on where you put the heart in relationship to the throat, calm the Continued on Page 14

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[yoga] TAKE CLASSES!

Susan Atkinson of Sunrise Yoga

Kathy Curran of 4 Corners Yoga

Sarah Klein of Whole Health Lab

Sheryl McGourty at YogaDurango

Where: 2750 Main Ave.

Where: The Smiley Building, 1309 East Third Ave., Room 32 (on the third floor)

Where: Sweaty Buddha, YogaDurango, and private sessions

Where: 1485 Florida Rd. and a second location at 1140-A Main Ave.

Info: www.wholehealthlab.com/yoga-class-schedule

Info: http://yogadurango.com

Info: http://sunriseyogadurango. com

Info: www.4cornersyoga.com

From Page 13

heart and, now they’re finding out, calm brain waves. These are the kind of things I’m really fascinated by because people who have practiced yoga have known intuitively for years, but now it’s all getting backed up by science.

Klein: I don’t believe yoga is everybody’s work. For example, my husband is a runner. That’s his yoga. For others, it might be biking or walking. It’s finding your mindful practice where you can connect with your true self.

Yoga turns the volume down so you can see your true self. When your true self is revealed, even if it is for a millisecond every other week, then you can connect to your real desires and get yourself on the right path and into making changes. Maybe those changes are stopping smoking, getting out of dysfunctional relationship, switching careers, or starting to eat better. Whatever it might be ... Community, accountability, strength, self-confidence. You’re lifting and spreading the prana (energy). Yoga is a path to self-exploration and self-realization.

Atkinson: Yoga is fitness not just of the body, but also the mind. Western exercise often totally disregards what is happening in your head ... I have people say, “I wish I had a switch and I could turn my mind off when I go to bed.” Yoga gives you those skills to slow your mind down so that you are not so much at the whim of the happenings of the day.

What is happening in pose besides the outer balance people can see?

Atkinson: When you’re in a pose, instead of

focusing on your grocery list and what you’re going to do when class finishes, you focus on, “Oh, my leg feels pulled in the back,” and, “Am I bringing my breath more into my abdomen or is my breath more in my chest? How does it feel when my head is upright versus chin tilted down?” You focus awareness on what’s happening in your body at that moment and that brings you in the present.

Klein: Each posture you have three aspects (breath, energy locks, and gaze) that capture your mind.

Where your eyes go, your mind goes. If you focus your gaze on one point, it draws in you inward. It slows down the mind. Then you have the breath which is audible. You can hear it. It’s cleansing. It creates heat and burns off impurities. It also creates a distraction because it is audible. It is the music of the practice. Then you have the energy locks which are intensifying the energy you are cultivating, farming, purifying in body.

It looks like an external practice, but when practiced correctly, yoga is very, very internal.

Curran: I think the normal feeling, for most people, is that they get into a situation that is challenging and they want to get out. In yoga practice, we don’t. We stay. Sometimes we use the help of a timer or a teacher to stay in a pose. Really, to stay on the side of challenge, not torment. You can always back off or ease up or add a prop so you’re not feeling tormented, but you are challenged. With this day and age, people’s brains are so affected by technology, I think that people’s ability to stay put in any task where they are concentrating has gotten sabotaged. With the practice, you don’t have your cellphone on, you can’t answer a text, Continued on Page 15

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[yoga] From Page 14

you’re just there in a pose, given instructions, paying attention to the external of the lift of the arm, the thigh, and so on, and, of course, while relaxing your breath. I think what it provides is this fabulous anchor for the mind so that you can linger long enough to discover how to relax in any situation.

What drastic good have you seen work in people’s lives?

Klein: Showing up is important and step 1, but integrating the practice is important. It starts to shift the mindset of, “My body isn’t good enough,” to “Oh, wow, look how amazing my body is.” As a culture, we forget what a blessing it is to have hands that work or legs that function and yoga practice is a remembering.

Atkinson: I had a lady who was scheduled for back surgery. She didn’t want the surgery. She had an injured disk in her back. She told the surgeon, “I want to try one more thing. I’m going to try yoga and if that doesn’t help, I’ll come back and get the surgery.” The yoga healed it. That was amazing.

just do the pose any which way. Part of that is to keep it safe and potent but a lot of it is to shake up behavioral patterns that cause suffering whether physically, emotionally, or mentally.

McGourty: Michele (Lawrence), my business partner, has been dedicated to yoga therapy, which is another branch of yoga. It looks at and works with how to accommodate more individuals through different transitions, like grief, like cancer. We have offered those classes at our studio, too.

Another thing I see is in people’s bodies. A lot of people will come in and they’re really disconnected from their bodies and move stiff, almost like they are a stranger in their own body. Through consistent practice you see it’s beautiful to see people move with grace and fluidity and to see how much easier that is on the self, to move that way through the world instead of guarded and stiff and sore.

I think we can be difficult on ourselves. When you begin to become present with yourself and your breath and you realize that you are the body but you are more than the body and you are in this room with people who are going through the same thing, we can become friendlier to ourselves and others. We can be hard on ourselves – what we look like, work, how we compare, and I know I try to state in classes that it isn’t a comparison.

There is no prize waiting for you at the end of class if you did the best triangle. I have little concern for that.

Let’s just have an experience together and when we do that we have more self-compassion. When we can become friendly and compassionate with ourselves we can start to do that in an authentic way with others.

Interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity.

—— Patty Templeton

And there is peace of mind. Being able to have the joy and satisfaction of being able to come to a deep sense of quiet, to connect with spirit.

Curran: I think its most drastic change is that you get into these poses, or you could look at it as challenging situations in a controlled environment, a classroom situation or a safe arena so to speak, and then you train yourself to relax. You come into the poses and, usually in the beginning, you are not very relaxed. You’re clenching your abdomen or your jaw, but with some encouragement and staying and holding for a while, you learn to bring relaxation into a challenging situation. In life, when challenges come at you, you then have profound tools for experiencing equanimity no matter what life brings. In my life, that has been absolutely true. It’s not like the challenges on the outside ever stop, but what you bring to them makes all the difference in how much you suffer.

It changes all those neurological pathways. What we’re doing is – especially in this form because there’s so much attention to detail – you can’t

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[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

Need a mental health day? Try it with MJ. Here’s how

S

ometimes you just need a day. Call it a “mental healther,” a timeout, a little break, whatever you will. Every season or so, it is sagely prescribed that you take a bit of time to simply remove yourself from the rat race – in whatever form you partake – and spend that day (maybe even a selfmade three-day weekend) to indulge in a little cocoon that you spin for yourself in order to be refreshed, to see that part of the world that you normally do not experience because you are usually busy with the orders, lists, and responsibilities of the capitalist system which keeps food on your table and a roof over your head. Maybe it’s a day away with Mary Jane.

To devote a day to just getting high sounds like a stoner’s dream and a pretty simple plan and, it really is, but there are a few areas of focus that could turn it from a completely wasted day (which is also necessary every once in a while) to a day that puts you

in touch with the true energy of cannabis – a plant teacher that imparts the lessons of open-hearted wonder, the opportunity to look at the world and yourself in a more gentle light, and the space to be overtaken. And, in doing so, to realize that we are more than a group of appointments on a calendar and the bottom line on a balance sheet. Here are some preparedness ideas and a list of supplies that you could make for yourself or easily procure with a visit to Ye Olde Weede Shoppe: While I am of the opinion that being high is a great state for many activities and types of interactions, there are definitely things that being anything but clear-headed can turn into a total bummer.

Many of these can be avoided by simply turning off your phone. (If someone feels that they need to burden you with a work-related question that they have determined cannot wait 24 hours or a personal issue that is likely to resolve itself even without your capable assistance, well, too bad – they are just going

to have to get in line behind Mary Jane.)

Your stash for the day should include at least the following: »» A variety of edibles – sativa and indica. Bring plenty, and for the edible-experienced among us, go as far as you need to go. Though, be sure to save one for bedtime. »» At least three joints: One big one, to share with a friend or three; one regular-sized one, to be shared or to waste a couple hours with; one pin-sized one, because sometimes there is only time for a pinner. »» As far as where to go and what to do, heed your personal preferences, but I will strongly suggest the following three components: Movies, music, and nature. Movies, especially comedies, are gold when combined with THC. Anything from Cheech and Chong to standup will bring tears to your eyes and cartoons take on special dimensions. I know of few Continued on Page 17

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[pages]

On hucksters and quack-busters performed so many In 1917, after operations that Kansas working as a snake oil ran low on goats. His salesman in a traveling technique became a road show, John R. cure-all, and although Brinkley worked at a critics abounded, he meatpacking company continued for almost where he was struck two decades. by the vigorous mating activities of the soon“Charlatan: Amerito-be slaughtered ca’s Most Dangerous goats. Later, after he’d Huckster, the Man White Rabbit established a medical Who Pursued Him, and book review: practice in Milford, the Age of Flimflam,” “Charlatan: AmeriKansas, (and purby Pope Brock, tells chased a $500 diploma ca’s Most Dangerous the true tale of not from the Eclectic only Brinkley but of Huckster, the Man Medical University of determined quack Who Pursued Him, Kansas City), a farmer buster Morris Fishand the Age of Flimvisited him, complainbein, who vowed to flam,” by Pope Brock ruin him. Their lengthy ing of a sagging libido.

Recalling those goats, game of cat and mouse the doctor joked that what he needed only provoked Brinkley to new heights, were some goat glands. Up for anything, as he masterfully utilized broadcasting, (well, most anything) the patient conadvertising, and the already shady realm sented, and Brinkley obliged. Remarkof politics to his advantage. ably, the transplant was successful.

—— Keena Kimmel Despite a high mortality rate, Owner of White Rabbit Books “Goat-Gland” Brinkley is said to have and Curiosities

A True Story, by Douglas Preston

(Paperback)

weekly bestsellers Oct. 8-14 »»Turtles All the Way Down, by John Green (Hardcover) »»The Sun and Her Flowers, by Rupi Kaur (Paperback) »»How to Fight, by Thich Nhat Hanh (Paperback) »»News of the World, by Paulette Jiles (Paperback) »»The Lost City of the Monkey God:

From Page 16

pairs that work as well together as marijuana and music. I don’t know exactly why (at least not in the space permitted here) but these two are on the level of peanut butter and jelly when it comes to individual ingredients exceeding the sum of their parts.

Every day, IMHO, should include some sort of interaction with nature, so if taking a high holiday is the spur

»»The Trespasser, by Tana French (Paperback) »»Coyote America: A Natural and Supernatural History, by Dan Flores (Paperback) »»The Witches of New York, by Ami McKay (Paperback) »»Braiding Sweetgrass, by Robin Wall Kimmerer (Paperback) »»You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, by

Jen Sincero (Paperback)

that pushes you into the wilds, all the better (and you can thank me by taking a deep breath and promising to get out more often).

Make this happen soon, DGO, and don’t forget the most important element of a day like this, the wake-and-bake.

Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

THE GRIT. THE GLAM. THE FUNK. THE GO! DGO Magazine is hiring a Multi-Media Sales Representative to join our dynamic sales team.

We’re seeking a leader who loves sales, knows greater Durango, enjoys going out into the field, and is a great human being; someone who cares both about local businesses and the bottom line and who brings a passion to work. This is your chance to have a positive impact and help local and regional businesses market to a unique millennial audience.

Must: · Believe in the DGO mission and goals

DGO is a weekly for readers who earnestly pursue live music, are lovers of a first bite, have palates that yearn for hops or grapes, enjoy local acting, feel invigorated by a good book and want to be in the know about recreational marijuana and what is happening this weekend.

· Have a conceptual understanding of digital and print marketing for small and medium sized businesses and have a deep commitment to create success for clients

Reporting to the Sales Manager, a successful candidate will identify new market opportunities and coordinate logistics associated with the weekly publication of our paper.

Ideal candidates will have some background in advertising and a minimum of 2 years in sales; print or digital experience is a plus.

We offer a competitive compensation plan, which includes a base salary, plus eligibility for growth and performance bonuses, and comprehensive benefits including medical, dental, vision, paid time off, and a 401(k).

It is important to note that the DGO is committed to providing a work environment that is completely free from any type of unlawful harassment.

· Understand the greater Durango market and be able to identify local prospects · Communicate effectively and demonstrate excellent closing skills

· Be available to travel on sales calls (mostly local) · Bring a positive attitude and sense of humor to work every day Applicants who do not follow this application process will not be considered.

Please submit your resume and a thoughtful cover letter that includes answers to the following: 1) Why are you interested in working for the DGO Magazine?

2) Why do you enjoy selling?

3) Tell us something unique about yourself that we can’t learn from your resume.

Please apply online at: http://ballantinecommunicationsinc.com/careers/hot-jobs

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[advice]

Life Hax | Carolyn Hax

My married friend was grinding on my crush. What to do?

I’ve had a crush on my brother’s friend for years.

I invited him to the birthday party I threw for my brother, and I also invited my best friend. Bestie had never met Crush before, but she knew of my crush. They spent the evening together, flirting and getting more touchy-feely the more they drank.

She was grinding on him by the end of the night.

Bestie is married with kids but has a desperate need for male attention and has cheated several times. Putting a man in front of her is like putting a drink in front of an alcoholic.

Toward the end of the party when I finally got Bestie alone, I reminded her of my crush and asked her to stop flirting. She apologized and that was that. But the next day, I saw that they are now friends on Facebook and feel she might still be overstepping. Now I’m wondering if I can trust her.

Could they be talking behind my back? Would she do this with someone I was dating or even married to? And it isn’t the first time this has happened.

I can’t stop her from doing these things (and probably don’t even have the right to tell her not to flirt with my crush) so I’m wondering if I should step back from this friendship. We’ve been friends since childhood and she’s been a great friend otherwise.

Crushed Of course you can’t trust her – to be anyone except who she has always been. Though that’s a kind of trust, I suppose: You can trust her to choose cocktails and tail-chasing over you or anyone else.

And I think you’re onto a lot more than you realize with the drink-in-front-of-an-alcoholic analogy.

She grabs at male attention even when she knows it hurts her best friend, not to mention, presumably, her husband and kids. That’s the stuff addicts do – prioritize the satisfaction of their physical and emotional cravings above the consequences to themselves and others.

And her drinking lowered and lowered her inhibitions until she was drunk (right?) and grinding some guy who wasn’t her husband and who mattered to someone she was supposed to care about. There may be two dependencies here.

Knowing you can’t trust her is the easy part; she has made it plain.

Whether you choose to distance yourself from her over this, or instead to see her as still your friend in her flawed and compromised and compartmentalized way, is up to you and is much more complicated.

*

But I urge you to say your piece about her behaving like an addict when male temptation is present – and about your being codependent, which also isn’t just about substance abuse. Ask her if she can see her role and yours in shielding her from the consequences.

Thereafter, when she does this, say you won’t be a party to it and then disengage. For the night; for as long as you need to cool off; for good. Your call.

Finally, you were available but your crush opted to grind with the drunk married mom friend. I hope he’s looking a lot less crushy today.

Adapted from a recent online discussion: I plan to ask my girlfriend’s father for permission to marry his daughter. How early is this commonly done before proposing and, if possible, should it be in person? I’m not planning on proposing for another three months. However, the parents live a considerable distance away and we are visiting her family next month. Do I wait until it’s closer and ask by phone, or, take the opportunity to do it in person?

I guess my only concern is keeping the secret for that long. I’m fairly sure the father will, but while her mother is great, she may have more difficulty keeping it quiet (I’m assuming he’ll tell her) – maybe I should just trust her father to keep it a secret from her mother if he thinks she’ll let the cat out of the bag. Thoughts?

Asking Her Father Do you think your girlfriend wants you to ask her father for permission to marry her? Something that many women, this one included, see as a profoundly offensive paternalistic holdover from a time when women didn’t make their own decisions like any other fully realized adult human being?

If your girlfriend is “traditional” this way, then I’m happy you found each other. Ask both parents when you see them – elder deference > male deference – and ask them to keep a lid on it, though I recommend proposing immediately afterward and not waiting, because keeping secrets from people you’re supposed to be in an intimate relationship with is incredibly counterproductive. Especially when the secrets are about them.

Re: “Secrets ... about them”: You think this way about a surprise birthday party?

So no planning ahead because it’s keeping a secret?

Please ...

You got me. Because cake and the course of one’s life are genuinely equivalent.

This topic blew up the queue when it ran live. A sampling: »»Before I proposed, I spoke with her father – “I wanted to let you know that I love your daughter, and I’ll be asking her to be my wife.” I knew she really wouldn’t appreciate the “property” overtones, but she’d appreciate me and her dad having a pleasant conversation and being on the same page. »»How about asking for his (and her mom’s) blessing. Or support. But the idea of permission is antiquated and offensive. »»Our now-son-in-law didn’t ask permission but instead came over to say he loved her and hoped we would be happy they wanted to get married.

And we are delighted! »»The comments make it even more with the nope.

I am not chattel. I am a person. And if you want to ask anyone, ask my mother, she’s the one in charge anyway :). »»Don’t do it. Even my super-conservative father rolled his eyes and replied, “You’ll have to ask her.” »»I have to wonder how those having a chat with the future father-in-law would feel about their girlfriends having the same chat with their (the guy’s) father. Or mother. You know, having a pleasant conversation and being on the same page. »»Our now-son-in-law asked. My husband said, “I have no permission to give.” »»Holy crap – way to rain on the (sweet, traditional) guy’s parade!

Persuasive arguments for choosing a partner who shares your beliefs. Thanks all.

Carolyn Hax is a syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post. She started her advice column in 1997, after five years as a copy editor and news editor in Style and none as a therapist. Email her at tellme@washpost. com.

Psst! Still need some Savage? Read Savage Love at dgomag.com!

18 | Thursday, October 19, 2017 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening]

DGO’s picks in and around Durango Poetry at Maria’s Esther Belin is a multimedia artist, activist, and poet. Belin will read from her new book, “Of Cartography: Poems,” at Maria’s. The Diné artist explores urban Native American identity, especially through the lens of her parents’ experience of being relocated by the America government from a reservation to Los Angeles in the 1950s.

Details: Free, all ages, 6:30 p.m., Thursday, Oct. 19, Maria’s Bookshop, 960 Main Ave., www.mariasbookshop.com

Party-rockin’ hip-hop at ACT Zion I’s fall tour is bringing his conscious hip-hop to the Animas City Theatre. Messages of spiritual awareness and unity are spread on reggae-infused, drum-and-base blessed, trip-hop beats. You’ll be thinking about this West Coast duo long after you stop dancing at the ACT. Details: $15 advance and $20 doors, 18+, doors 8:30 p.m. and show at 9, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, www.animascitytheatre.com

Folk rock the f out at El Rancho The Outskirts are celebrating a hella big win. The folk rock band was awarded the title Best Band in Durango via the Durango Herald’s “Best of Durango” public polls. They’re gonna bring their electric, high and lonesome sound to The Ranch for a boozetastic win party.

Details: Free, 21+, 9 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 21, El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave., www.theoutskirtsco.com

Your chance to belly dance Lisa Branner, director of Caldera Tribal based in Silverton, brings a chance to learn belly dance to the general public. Branner will teach two workshops – a beginner’s Crash Course in American Tribal Style Belly Dance and Sassy, Sultry, and Sweet, a collection of Branner’s favorite steps and combinations. Each class lasts two hours and you can take one or both.

Details: $35 for one class and $60 for both with online registration, $40 each at the door, all ages, 10 to noon for Crash Course, 1 p.m. to 3 for Sassy, Sultry, and Sweet, Sunday, Oct. 22, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., www.facebook.com/calderabellydance

Telling fake news to suck it Every other statement out of the White House calls certain media outlets “fake.” It’s alleged that Russian hackers infiltrated American pop culture with fake news and it skewed an entire presidential election. Do you think you can spot fake news? Test your news nose at Fake News Trivia Night at Ska. Durango Organics will provide door prizes and everyone who comes out to play will get a free one-month subscription to the Durango Herald.

Bonus: The Durango Herald will sponsor a Stop Fake News night at the Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. on Monday, Oct. 23. Learn how to spot fake news and stop its spread.

Details: Free, 21+, 5 to 7 p.m., Wednesday, Oct. 25, Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St., www.facebook.com/TheDurangoHerald

Thursday Sorrel Sky Gallery 2017 Workshop Series, 9 a.m. Sorrel

Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave. Main Exhibit Gallery Tours,

10:30 a.m., Anasazi Heritage Center, 27501 Highway 184, 882-5600.

The Awesome Economics of Solar, noon, Durango Public

Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 3753380.

Read to Rover, 3:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Piano Thursdays Sing-ALong and Musician’s Jam, 5

p.m., Cerda 7 Cantina y Comida, 639 Main Ave. League of Women Voters school board candidate forum, 5:30 p.m., City Hall, 949

East Second Ave. The Jeff Solon Jazz Duo, 5:30 p.m., Kennebec Cafe, 4 County Road 124, Hesperus.

Beginning Genealogy Series, 6 p.m., Pine River Library, 395

Bayfield Center Drive, 884-2222.

Introduction to electronics,

6 p.m., $20-$40, MakerLab, Powerhouse Science Center, 1295 Camino del Rio. Off-Piste Ski Season Stoke Party, 6 p.m., Backcountry Experi-

ence, 1205 Camino del Rio. Durango Photography Club: Lessons from the County Fair, 7 p.m., La Plata County Fair-

grounds, 2500 Main Ave.

Friday

Downtown Balloon Glow, 7 p.m., Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, 479 Main Ave.

Monday

Saturday

Science Reading Room, 1166 East Third Ave.

Cortez home-buyer education class, 8:30 a.m., $15, South-

Sorrel Sky Gallery 2017 Workshop Series, 9 a.m. Sorrel

west Medical Group, 20 S. Market St., Cortez.

Sorrel Sky Gallery 2017 Workshop Series, 9 a.m. Sorrel

Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave. Durango Farmers Market,

9 a.m.-noon, First National Bank of Durango, 259 W. Ninth St., www. durangofarmersmarket.com.

“Playing with the Press” visual art workshop, 9 a.m., $80-

$100, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

“Writing Your Life Story” workshop, 9 a.m., $95, Mt. Look-

out Grange, 680 Grand Ave., Mancos.

Durango Lions Club Chili Craft Fair, 10 a.m., $6, La Plata

County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave., 749-5582.

Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m., Jean-

Prayer and watching the news, all-day event, Christian

Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave. Introduction to laser cutting, 6 p.m., $20-$40, Powerhouse

Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio. “Stop Fake News: How to spot it and how to stop it” presentation, 6:30 p.m., Durango

Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave.

Tuesday Sorrel Sky Gallery 2017 Workshop Series, 9 a.m. Sorrel

Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave. Watercolor Painting 101, 1

p.m., $150-$175, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

Baby story time, 2 p.m., Duran-

go Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 247-7700.

Nia class, 4 p.m., Smiley Building,

Peanuts Great Pumpkin Patch Express, 11:30 a.m., $35-

Tuesday jam, 6 p.m., Steaming

$49, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, 479 Main Ave.

Bingo, 6:30 p.m., Dolores Com-

1309 East Third Ave., 382-9593.

Bean, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200.

Harvest Festival, noon, Durango

munity Center, 400 Riverside Ave., Dolores.

Nursery and Supply, 271 Kaycee Lane.

Tim Sullivan, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

20th anniversary of Joy Cabin opening, 1 p.m., Animas

Wednesday

Museum, 3065 West Second Ave., 259-2402.

Sorrel Sky Gallery 2017 Workshop Series, 9 a.m. Sorrel

Sorrel Sky Gallery 2017 Workshop Series, 9 a.m. Sorrel

Jazz on the Hill, 6 p.m., $45$175, Fort Lewis College, Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave.

Slim Pickins, 10 p.m., Balcony

Live by Living Walk Along the Animas River, 10 a.m., Du-

Backstage, 600 Main Ave., 422-8008.

“Are You Faking It?” fake news trivia night, 5 p.m., Ska

rango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Sunday

Brewing Co., 225 Girard St.

Preschool story time, 10:30

East Animas Climbing Area, 2000 County Road 250.

a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Metalsmithing workshop,

noon, $200-$225, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 2592606.

“Way to Go!”Together and Local First workshop, 1 p.m.,

Carnegie Building, 1188 East Second Ave. STEAM Lab, 3:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

First anniversary celebration, 4:30 p.m., Absolute Physical

Therapy and Wellness, 277 East Eighth Ave., 764-4094.

Third annual Harvest Festival, 5 p.m., ELHI Community Center,

115 Ute St., Ignacio.

Black Velvet Duo, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Trails 2000 trail work, 8 a.m.,

Sorrel Sky Gallery 2017 Workshop Series, 9 a.m. Sorrel

Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave. “Tribal Trifles” belly dance workshops, 10 a.m., $35-$60,

Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

“Writing Your Life Story” workshop, 10 a.m., $95, Mt. Look-

out Grange, 680 Grand Ave., Mancos.

Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m., Jean-

Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 247-7700.

Peanuts Great Pumpkin Patch Express, 1 p.m., $35-$49,

Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, 479 Main Ave. Birth of Baha’u’llah bicentenary celebration, 2 p.m.,

Durango Community Recreation Center, 2700 Main Ave.

Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave. Nia class, 9 a.m., Smiley Building,

1309 East Third Ave., 382-9593.

Introduction to Computer Numerical Control routing,

6 p.m., $20-$40, Powerhouse Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio. Purgatory ski team information night, 6 p.m., Durango

Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Terry Rickard, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www. dgomag.com, visit www.

swscene.com, click “Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form and submit. Listings at www. swscene.com will appear on www. dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www.swscene.com is free and takes one day to process.

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To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 20 | Thursday, October 19, 2017 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 19, 2017 | 21

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Brace yourself because a close friend or partner might say or do something that surprises you. He or she might want more freedom in the relationship, or a different arrangement.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) This week, your work routine might be interrupted by computer crashes, power outages, staff shortages – it will be something. Give yourself extra time so that you will have the ability to cope with this.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) This is an accident-prone week for your kids or children in your care, so be extra vigilant. Meanwhile, social plans might suddenly change or be canceled.

Oh no! You’re all dressed up with no place to go.

Bizarro

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Small appliances might break down this week, or minor breakages could occur.

Perhaps someone you least expect will knock on the door? Something will change your daily home routine.

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) This is a mildly accident-prone week for you, so pay attention to everything you say and do. Think before you speak or act.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Keep an eye on your money this week because something unexpected can impact your finances. You might find money, or you might lose money. Guard your possessions against loss or theft.

Be smart.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) Your personal interactions with others will have some surprises this week; however, do not overreact. Avoid arguments. Wait until you see what’s really

going on.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) This is a restless week for you. You have the feeling like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. (Hey – if it’s the right size, keep it.)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Expect a rebellion in a group or perhaps even with a friend this week.

Someone might not want to go along with your ideas. At least listen to what they have to say.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Bosses and parents might throw you a curveball this week. Even if you feel shocked, do not quit your day job. Wait until you see which way the wind is blowing. Don’t be impulsive.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

Travel plans will be canceled, changed or detoured this week. Likewise, school schedules are up for grabs. Be patient.

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) Double-check information with banking, inheritances and insurance issues this week because something unexpected might surprise you. Stay on top of this information!

BORN THIS WEEK You are open-minded and imaginative.

You can be persuasive and persistent when you want to be. This is a busy year and a year of choice. You have a great zest for life, and want to nurture the happiness and beauty around you.

Be grateful for what you have; do not focus on what you don’t have. Expect increased popularity and the warm rekindling of old friendships. © 2017 King Features Syndicate Inc.

[scary movies] FAQ about your favorite fright films »»The 1922 film “Nosferatu” was an unlicensed adaptation of the book “Dracula,” by Bram Stoker, published in 1897. To avoid being sued, F. W. Murnau, the filmmaker, changed the word “vampire” to “Nosferatu” and “Count Drancula” became “Count Orlok.” »»Joel Coen, of the Coen Brothers fame, was an assistant editor for the camp classic horror flick, “The Evil Dead.” »»“The Exorcist” earned 10 Oscar nominations in 1974. It was the first horror film to be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. »»In “Hocus Pocus,” the first choice for the character Zachary Binx was Leonardo DiCapprio, who shot down the offer. »»America was (Ha! Was!) so repressed that it took until Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 thriller “Psycho” for a toilet to be shown on screen. »»The Creature in “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” was modeled after the Oscar statue. »»Killer Jason Voorhees, of “Friday the 13th,” was originally named “Josh.”

22 | Thursday, October 19, 2017 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

pe-

[pics]

WEEKEND DURANGO HAUNTS

DGO contributor Lucy Schaefer was on the town over the weekend in Durango. Here’s what she found (pics taken at Bread, “The Everynight,” the Durango dog park, 3rd Ave and 4th St., 81301 coffee, Southwest Sound, The Irish Embassy, Beads and Beyond, Thru The Lens, BREW, the Diamond Belle Saloon, and Maria’s Bookshop).

For more photos from the weekend, go to dgomag.com

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