Decisions (and how to make better ones) Part III

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, February 8, 2018

DGO

FREE!

‘FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU WANT TO BE

AND WHAT YOU’RE SHOOTING FOR.

DECISIONS (AND HOW TO MAKE BETTER ONES) Concluding our series, La Plata County Sheriff Sean Smith discusses the importance of an inner compass when navigating winding paths

WHAT DO YOU WANT THE

WORLD TO SEE ABOUT

YOU AND THEN LET THAT GUIDE YOUR

DECISIONS.’ Also: Tips on using your freezer to the max, the burgeoning Mancos Creative District, and a spot where listening is the point debuts in Durango

dgomag.com

SNOWDOWN

IN PICTURES

Some Snowdown moments are good. Others are quite simply magnificent. DGO photo wizard Lucy Schaefer captured quite a few over five days.

For more photos, go to Page 23 and dgomag.com

2 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 • • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 3 Number 16 Thursday, February 8, 2018

Editor/ creative director David Holub dholub@bcimedia.com

*

Snowdown in pictures If you were out for Snowdown – and who wasn’t? – chances are you saw DGO photo contributor Lucy Schaefer. We show some of her best.

375-4551 Staff writer Patty Templeton ptempleton@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko 375-4553 Contributors

Check out the photos right over yonder on Page 2 as well as Page 23 and many more at dgomag.com

Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch Brett Massé Lindsay Mattison Sean Moriarty Lucy Schaefer Cooper Stapleton

375-4570

V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing Kricket Lewis Founding Editors

From the Editor

4

Love it or Hate it

5

Eat

7

Street Style

8

Sound 8

Album Reviews 9 10 Beer 11 Travel

Wanderlust 11

16 Weed

18 Life Hax

Lucy Schaefer/Special to DGO

Reader Services

Douglas Bennett

4

17 Pages

Robert Alan Wendeborn

Chief Executive Officer

Pics

Downtown Lowdown

Katie Cahill Christopher Gallagher

2

19 Happening

10 ‘First beer’ stories I was thinking about all of the “first beer” stories I’ve heard in my day and I remembered that nearly every one was entertaining and/or gave me some valuable insight into who the person telling the story was.

Amy Maestas

23 Losing an MJ pioneer

20 DGO Deals

Last weekend we lost Dennis Peron, a man to whom anyone who has used cannabis here in the 21st century, as openly and easily as we are able to, owes a debt of gratitude.

22 Horoscope/ puzzles 23 Pics

/dgomag

@dg

David Holub

11 Wanderlust

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

Brittnie St. Cyr talks about a travel story involving her band Long Con breaking down on the rez, a kind old couple, and a living-room stripper pole.

Tell us what you think!

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know?

Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

/dgomag

@dgo_mag

ON THE COVER A quote from La Plata County Sheriff Sean Smith, who always smiles when you see him out and about in Durango.

David Holub/DGO

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

A SAVVY MAGAZINE FOR A SAVVY CUSTOMER.

Call 375-4570 375-4570 or or email email info@dgomag.com info@dgomag.com Call

CARRY DGO IN YOUR BUSINESS ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 3

dg

[CTRL-A]

[ love it or hate it ]

David Holub |DGO editor

What I love and miss about playing pick-up team sports

L

ast week I saw one friend throw an eraser across the room to another friend (they were arting at the time).

With the eraser menacingly in the air, and with the fear and anticipation of one actually having to catch an object flying toward them, one of the friends yelled, “Agh Sports!” implying hilariously that even the slightest test of physical acumen is a great burden.

These are my friends – actors, artists, writers, musicians, nerds. They’re all active and coordinated – they can ski, kayak, dance, swing from contraptions, walk on stilts, whathaveyou. But when it comes to Sports! or, shall I say, traditional American Sports! (team and otherwise), I find I am all alone in Durango. A friendly game of pickup basketball? Who does that? A breezy, non-competitive, let’s-just-getout-there-and-run-around game of touch football? Where did everyone go? Hit some balls on the tennis court – we don’t even have to keep score? Anyone?

Every time I bring up playing Sports!, people treat me like a madman shouting on a street corner. Yes, they cross the street and act like they don’t see me.

Ever since my mother allowed me to walk outside alone, I’ve been trying to get people to play sports with me. If it wasn’t a game of street football, it was the invented neighborhood version of rugby we played in someone’s yard that we hyperbolically called “Kill the guy with the ball.” If it wasn’t that it was a game of kickball or Pickle (aka Hot Box – a baseball-based game that recreates the phenomena of baserunners being caught in a rundown between bases), or the legendary basketball-derived game 21, or hide-n-seek. I firmly believed that any skills I have in leadership, organization, and persuasion were jump-started between the ages of 6 and 12 corralling neighborhood kids into a game. It’s not easy convincing kids that the couch isn’t really that comfortable, that video games aren’t that fun, and that the Disney Channel will still exist after it gets dark.

The practice of rounding up a group of friends for a game continued well into

my 30s. However, it wasn’t necessarily scraping people off couches that was the challenge in getting a game going as an adult. It was the negative attitudes about such pick-up games that people carried over from childhood, which I had to take into account and counter when trying to convince non-Sports! people to play Sports!

The concerns people had were usually the same: Will teams be picked in a way that everyone will invariably be picked last? (I would devise a way to divide the players in a haphazard way – like seemingly arbitrarily dividing the circle in half – that usually made each team competitive.

After all, in football, all each team needs is one person who can throw and then an equal amount of fast and slow players).

Would the game be overly competitive and rowdy? (I refused to even keep score).

Yeah, but there’s always that one guy who takes things so seriously and gets mad at everyone. What about him? (He’s not invited). But I have no athletic skill (Yes you do, and I don’t care even if you didn’t. It’s not about that).

There are a number of things I miss about playing pick-up Sports!, things that we don’t often run into elsewhere as adults: Camaraderie, being part of a team, and developing and understanding your role on that team, to start. Are you the person with surprising athletic acumen? Are you the shifty, speedy one who everyone underestimates? Are you the take-control leader? Are you the trickster devising sneaky plays and other feats of gamesmanship? Are you the ultra-competitive one who operates at a 10 and we need you down at a 6?

As an organizer of pick-up team Sports!, I had very few expectations for what happened on the court or field. Were people laughing and having fun? Was the environment safe and welcoming and entirely free of negativity? That’s what mattered to me. If people were having fun and getting some exercise, that’s all I cared about. And beyond that, when non-Sports! people walked away saying that they actually had fun playing football, I knew it was a success.

Working from home Love it As much as I like the social aspects and interactions of working in an office, I find that they’re often so alluring to the point of distraction. Not to mention hearing the incessant ringtones of multiple phones, overhearing loud how-was-your-weekend conversations. At home, it’s just one big window looking out to a forest.

At home I don’t have to get dressed, I can unplug the headphones, and I can openly sing aloud whenever I please (and not get the looks I get when I do the same in the office). The chances of being barraged by unanticipated tasks or spur-of-the-moment requests go down drastically when I work at home.

At home there is never the awkwardness (and the avoidance of) that guides most of my actions at work. No awkward small talk in the bathroom, no awkward small talk getting coffee in the break room, no obligatory hellos or goodbyes, no working up cheerful smiles.

Perhaps above all, working from home demonstrates just how important all those in-person meetings really are.

— David Holub

Hate It I have an extreme amount of focus.

I can get damn near anything done that I want done – except when I can’t, which usually means I am at home. At home, I’m like, “Hey, bed. Let’s nap,” or “I can’t write until I clean my desk,” or “SNACKS!” or “Technically, watching “Deadwood” is work because it improves my dialogue writing,” or “I wonder if the universe has a picture of Davey Havok petting a quokka?” (It doesn’t. Internet fix this or, better yet, Mr. Havok, please hang out with a quokka and Insta the experience.)

Don’t get me wrong. I love not being in a fluorescent-lit office to write, but home is too comfy-cozy. The only mega perk I can think of about writing/working from home is that I can surround myself with a Danzigian amount of candles. M-effin ambiance is killer at home. Too bad I then get up to piss, make tea, do pushups against the kitchen counter, or get disappointed by googling “Alien Sex Fiend tour” and seeing no gigs pop up.

At about the 13th self-interruption, I shuffle to the library or go to a coffee shop. I’m too Chicago to pace, whiz, fiddle about, or otherwise leave my laptop alone in a public setting, so my ass is chaired and I’m getting a solid stack of work sorted.

Working from home? F that s. There’s too many poets to read and banana bread to bake there.

— Patty Templeton

4 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 • • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[eat]

What the Fork | Lindsay Mattison

A beginner’s guide to using that freezer to the max

N

3. Get a vacuum ot too long sealer ago, I would have told you If you don’t have a vacthe freezer uum sealer, you should was just a storage area really consider buying for binge-worthy ice one. It’s one of the best cream and fancy cocktail purchases I’ve ever made. cubes. The only thought Sealing up that frozen I gave to freezer meals food is the only way to was those slightly cardreally prevent freezer boardy-tasting Lean burn. While freezer burn Cuisine trays I used to isn’t exactly dangerous, microwave in college. it can ruin the flavor and But then, something texture of your food. happened. When I started When it’s vacuum-sealed, repurposing my leftovers it’ll last longer and it and reducing my food will taste just as rich and waste, my freezer starttender as the day it was ed to bulk up. It turned sealed. into a storage unit for 4. Keep an sauces, stocks, meatballs, inventory baguette ends, gnocchi, pasta, dumplings, and OK, I know this sounds so much more. Just like super dorky, but bear with that, I became a freezer me. Have you ever cleaned hoarder. out your freezer only to stumble upon something Look in my freezer now you totally would have and you’ll find everything Courtesy of Lindsay Mattison eaten if you knew it was you need to make a home»» Labeled, dated, and ready to reuse: Using the freezer is Lindsay Mattison’s main secret to weekly meal-planning. there? Yeah, me too! If only cooked meal. Not only that, you had kept a log ... but since my freezer has So, yeah, I do keep a log become an extension of my and I use it for two major purposes. The first is to you put some thought into the portion size of your pantry, it’s usually where I kick-start my weekly avoid that “I didn’t know it was there” situation. leftovers and how you might reuse them before you meal planning. Once I start thinking about what’s The inventory reminds me of what I have and I toss ’em to the freezer, you’ll get a lot more out of in there, the dinner ideas start to materialize. As a don’t end up making stock or buying tomato sauce them. bonus, those plans usually tend to be healthier and when I already have some. The second – and maybe pretty budget-friendly, too.

2. Bulk up on proteins more important – purpose: I use it for inspiration.

People ask me all the time how I meal-plan, and If I’m trying to think of what to cook for the week, really using the freezer is my main secret. Follow If you’re a vegetarian, you can pretty much skip I often browse my inventory list. Seeing green chili these tips if you’re interested in learning how: this section, but I’m an avid omnivore so you better on there might inspire me to make burritos, or pate believe my freezer is full of proteins! This has been 1. Think before you freeze might put banh mi on the list. Before I know it, a a really good thing for me – it means that if my panweek’s worth of meals are planned with very little try is stocked and my freezer is full, I probably only I used to have this bad habit of throwing leftovers effort. need to shop for seasonal produce. into the freezer. No label, no portioning, no planning There you have it: my easy, little meal-planning – just chuck it in there and hope for the best. It made The best way to bulk up without breaking the bank secret. Using the freezer to the max has really it really hard to reheat them or reuse the leftovers in is to pay attention to the deals. Lamb goes on sale changed the way I put healthy, home-cooked meals a creative way, and I usually ended up tossing them. around Easter, hot dogs and sausages always seem to on the table. So give it a try – what do you have to Now, I’ve learned an important lesson: Before you be on special in the summertime, and beef roasts drop lose? freeze those leftovers, consider how you might eat in price around Christmas. Take advantage of whole them in the future. A single slice of lasagna could pork shoulder sales and chicken wings specials right make a great work lunch, whereas an entire tray before the Super Bowl. Then, process your purchases Lindsay D. Mattison is a professional chef and food writer would only be helpful for serving multiple portions. down into easily cookable portions – like cutting those living in Durango. She enjoys long walks in the woods, the Or, I might not freeze tonight’s pesto grilled cheese roasts into individual steaks, smoking the pork shoulsimplicity of New York-style cheese pizza, and she’s comsandwiches, but you better believe I’ll make a double pletely addicted to Chapstick. Contact her at lindsaymatder and freezing servings of pulled pork, or pre-pattybatch of the pesto so I can freeze that for later. When tisonwriter@gmail.com. ing up the on-sale ground beef into burgers. ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 5

[creatives]

‘IT’S A YOUNGER VIBE AND OLDER EXPERIENCE MERGING’ Blink while driving and you’ll pass through Mancos without noticing it, which would be a damn shame, considering that it’s becoming a hella hot art hub. Mancos is Durango’s more affordable kid sister – artists and plain folks alike are heading toward its reasonable rents and wide open spaces.

The Mancos Creative District was established in 2016 through funds from the Colorado Creative Industries (CCI).

It’s located in Mancos’ Syverson historic downtown and aims to invigorate the region through supporting artisans of all stripes, from inventors to visual artists to herbalists. This support is delivered through organized events, mentorships, publicity, community-building, and big dreams – like, for example, the hope to provide artist residencies in the future.

DGO talked to Sarah Syverson, co-director of the Mancos Creative District, about what exactly is happening in Mancos and how folks can get involved.

What’s going on? All the artists are moving to Mancos.

It’s a space to create in a place you can afford. You can find a house to rent here that has a garage that can be a studio or art space ... There’s over 150 artists who live in the area. It’s kind of hard to believe, isn’t it? You think the whole town is only 150 people, but including the outlaying area, there are about 150 makers here.

I think it lends itself to art partially because of the quietness, the solitude, lack of distraction, and that foundation of arts culture intersecting with farming and ranching.

What’s the goal of the Mancos Creative District?

The creative district is trying to provide a space for makers, young artists, and new artists to thrive. Mancos is a space of affordable housing for people who want to spend more of their time on art instead of work. People want time to be able to develop their art, their marketing skills, get exposure, and that’s something that the creative district can help with.

What are wrong assumptions people have about Mancos?

Well, do you have any thoughts or assumptions about it?

(Laughs) I think I always thought it might be affordable but boring.

And what population do you think lives here?

I maybe assumed it was older, more established families.

Right. So many people do. There’s more and more young folks filling Mancos because of cost ... There’s an adventure community, an art community, a foodie space, theatre people. There’s a surprising amount of 20- and 30-somethings who have moved into the area in the last three years. Part of that, I think, is the Mancos Brewery. If there’s a place to hang out, people do. Those younger hangout spaces are emerging in Mancos.

What’s an upcoming dream goal for the creative district?

We’re looking to create artist residency programs and affordable live/work spaces. We hope to create areas that have tiny houses to live in with a nearby tiny house that is a workshop space. We want to develop those sorts of housing and workspaces that are affordable and targeted at creative communities.

We have a partnership through the Colorado Creative Industries that is called a Space to Create. We are looking at a grant for a feasibility study to build structures like that as a long-term vision, three to five years from now.

»» Talkin’ about

the Mancos Creative District with Sarah Syverson

What about non-makers who want to get involved?

Everybody has a skill. Everyone has a gift. If they don’t put themselves in the box of a creator or a maker, just come talk to me. I’m always interested in what your gift is. What is the skill you want to develop? What are you passionate about? What experience would you like to develop around this creative district?

We can’t fit every skill, but there’s a lot to be done that is not physical art but supports the momentum of the creative district. If you want to be involved, absolutely, get in contact with me.

What might get glossed over when people think about Mancos’ art scene?

Sometimes when people think about art in Mancos, they think it is Western or folk art and that’s it.

There’s something different emerging. Hello Zark is a studio that did a pop-up that was more on a Studio & bent. There’s the opera house that just got bought by a private entity that we’re collaborating with that could provide a space for tremendous performance arts as it’s renovated.

Watch for the pop-up galleries and the events the creative district is putting on because it is a new and different flair than you would know about Mancos.

It’s a younger vibe and older experience merging to make a powerful combination of multi-generation creators.

Interview edited and condensed for clarity.

— Patty Templeton

6 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 • • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

What day is it?

[Durango street style]

Minimalism meets Asian-influence If you’ve been to an open mic at Moe’s or dang near any other music spot in town, you’ve seen Kelsey K. Parks hosting the event or singing in it. Parks sparkles, sometimes has pink hair, and is built in equal parts of adventure, effervescence, and hella intelligence. The woman spent five years in China, can speak fluent Mandarin Chinese, is available for translating work, and the air around her crackles with positive energy.

Wines-day!

Want this deal? Mention this ad!

$1 Glass of Wine All Day Wednesday!*

DGO is enchanted with Ms. Parks, and she quite kindly took the time to talk with us about her compelling, minimalist street style.

Say What?! *Limit 3 per person

“I mostly stick to things I think have a good line or color.

I like to have a few Easter eggs in whatever I’m wearing, too, like buttons, colorful socks, and small pieces of jewelry that have stories.

1201 Main Ave · (970) 259-5028 · Open: Monday-Saturday 11:30am-9pm

Where th

I am a minimalist. I don’t like to have more than I can put in a large suitcase. I’ve moved between China and here and haven’t really stayed in a single place very much, so I like Courtesy of Antoine Dennison to have everything compact.

I live in a RV, too. The space isn’t there for a large wardrobe, and I like it that way. I think that you can create hundreds of outfits with the right pieces.

When I do (wear makeup), I like to make it a special thing. I call it my war paint. It pumps me up and I am ready for battle – a job interview, a date, a performance ... When I was growing up, I never wore makeup because I was pretentious about it and I thought it wasn’t natural. Now, I can wear makeup and feel totally comfortable with it because it is playing dress-up and painting and art and armor, and it can tell a different story about me.

When I was younger, I used to like everything to be tight: You’re thin, you show it off. After being in Asia, there’s this magical, quiet way of enveloping your body in flowy, large shirts. It’s sexy. You move in a certain way and your fabric falls on your body and people get glimpses but don’t get to see the whole thing. Also, it’s so damn comfortable wearing these flowy shifts and big sweatshirts or having your hair in a normal bun. I picked up a lot of that. I like that modest, elegant flair to fashion in Chinese metropolitan cities.”

POP UP Friday, February 9th 12pm to 8pm

Buy 2 District gummies, get 1 for a penny 15% off any O.penVAPE product FREE BATTERY with the purchase of any O.pen cartridge

GREAT STRAIN SELECTION • HASH & CONCENTRATE • EDIBLES • SEEDS • CLONES PIPES • SMOKING ACCESSORIES • APPAREL • MJ LITERATURE & CONSULTING • ATM ON-SITE

Interview edited and condensed for clarity.

Got rad style or know someone who always looks fab? Send DGO a heads-up on who to interview next at editor@bcimedia.com.

—— Patty Templeton

RECREATIONAL 9am-8pm • MEDICAL 9am-6:45pm • 72 SUTTLE ST. UNITS F & G 970.259.3674 • 7 DAYS A WEEK

The Alternative Resource durangoorganics.com

facebook.com/durangoorganics

����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 7

[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

A music space where listening is the whole point

F

ull-time musicians need more venue owners and show promoters working in the best interest of the artist. It’s a tough scenario on all fronts. Venue owners need to get paid to keep the lights on. Promoters need to get paid to keep booking shows.

Musicians need to get paid so they can continue trucking from town to town, bringing their art to whoever is willing to listen. Many times these individuals work toward their own interest, resulting in the fickle drag that is the music business.

That fickle drag has resulted in alternative venues being born out of necessity, places that moonlight as venues in addition to whatever purpose they serve from 9 to 5. These listening rooms are great assets to the music community, giving artists a place to play for patrons willing to pay.

It’s how the Red Scarf Studio Listening Room operates, a new venue on the north end of Durango that is most of the time the photography studio of McCarson Tafoya. Some of the time – as of recently – it’s a concert space. Tafoya, a champion for artists of any medium, was inspired by the listening rooms she visited in Nashville.

She also noticed that many local musicians she loves to watch perform are playing for peanuts. Her move into a space that used to house Stillwater Music would be perfect to operate as a spot that could hold 40 willing to pay for music. A night watching Fred Kosak and Allissa Wolf was the catalyst for its formation.

“They had been playing for two and a half hours and the tip jar had $5 in there,” said Tafoya. “I thought, ‘This is ridiculous. People are spending $25 or $30 on cocktails and you’re getting original music, and the artists only get $5?’ So I said I was going to make this happen.”

It’s called a listening room for a reason. This isn’t a venue driven by alcohol sales. Too many times a musician’s set is ruined by nonsensical babble coming from barflies uninterested in

GO! Wednesday (Feb. 14): Stillhouse Junkies perform roots music, 6 p.m. $25. Red Scarf Studio Listening Room, 121 W. 32nd St. Information: 759-8404. performance. Same goes for that one patron eager to see a musician only to have the music drowned out by a nonsensical jabber. It’s a room that’s there to enhance the tie between musician and music lover, a place where a connection is made between the listener, a musician, the songs, and stories behind the songs. It’s where people who value music can come have an experience, and the people making that music can express what they do and get paid more than minimum wage for what is both passion and profession.

“I feel it’s very important for artists to be paid for what they do, having a room as part of the community where people can come in and express their original work through music,” Tafoya said. “I like to go out and listen to bands or people, but I have a really hard time hearing them and feeling connected to them because it’s loud, or it’s not the right scene to hear them. My theory on the Listening Room is I want people to be able to listen, pay a ticket price that the artist sets, and the artist walks away with 70 percent of that money. It’s important to me.”

She’s already got shows booked through 2018, which include Thom Chacon in March and The Cannondolls in April, with other regional and national artists coming as well. Local bluegrass and roots band Stillhouse Junkies will perform Feb. 14.

Ultimately, Tafoya’s space is a community venue defined by education and expression, celebrating creativity through photography, music, and anything else that may come along. Hell, it even houses the occasional tango lesson.

“It’s a nice space; lets make it happen,” said Tafoya. “That’s the community way, right?”

Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.

8 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 • • ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[sound] What’s new

A few weeks back, my contact at Sacred Bones, a favorite and trusted label

New at

Feb. 9 Black Panther: The Album There have only been a few tracks released from this blockbuster soundtrack curated by the music industry’s current darling, Kendrick Lamar, but after listening to the singles, there is no reason that I can see to not get excited about the album. SZA’s voice sizzles on “All The Stars.” One of the more surprising aspects of the tracklist is James Blake’s name being all over it.

His production on “King’s Dead” featuring Kendrick, Jay Rock, and Future is crisp, but not lacking flavor or character. And I’m not super familiar with Jay Rock’s stuff, but he goes in on his verse in this track. If the reviews of the movie are any indication to the quality of the rest of the soundtrack, then hiphop heads should pay attention.

Franz Ferdinand,“Always Ascending” After a fairly lengthy absence, Glasgow indie rockers Franz Ferdinand have returned having eschewed the postpunk-tinged sound in favor of the more dance/disco-tinged indie style that has dominated the indie rock scene for the last few years. I cannot blame Franz Ferdinand for trying to expand their sound, and after losing founding guitar-

Needless to say, I was totally intrigued by a simple yet appropriate descriptor. I played that single, the infectious album opener “Honeymooning,” on repeat up until the full-length arrived. Beyond that first cut, the eight tracks of the full-length lived up to my imposed hype and did so in spades.

“Slow Sundown” was recorded when the band was visiting the United States on tourist visas and was produced by

(4AD recording artist) Merchandise’s Carson Cox and recorded at Brooklyn’s Kutch1 Studio. The record is a wonderful accompaniment to the land and soundscapes of our Southwest. Not yet sure if a North American tour is in the cards this summer, but I imagine they’d fit in nicely at festivals such as Levitation (formerly Austin Psych Fest) or Joshua Tree’s Desert Daze.

ist Nick McCarthy, it is understandable for there to be a sonic shift, but I think overall that “Always Ascending” has sagged a little bit. The title track is one of their best, melding the weird groove they get with the new dance focus fairly seamlessly without losing the guitar-focused drive of earlier albums.

“Lazy Boy” is also pure Franz Ferdinand goofiness, but some of the deeper cuts on the record lean surprisingly heavy on the synth-disco side. If you read this section regularly then you know I am a big synthesizer fan, but tracks like “Feel The Love Go” ultimately fall flat for me.

simplistic but leaves a lot of room to breathe, bringing in weird theremin passages. There is a lot to love here, we just have to get over that it’s not a proper Mastodon/Tool crossover.

Also releasing this week: New albums from MGMT, Fu Manchu, Dashboard Confessional, Atlas Moth, and Harm’s Way.”

Legend of the Seagullmen, “Self Titled” Supergroups are a dime a dozen in this era of internet collaboration. But every once in a while a new one pops up that catches my eye and my ear. Legend of the Seagullmen features Brent Hinds of Mastodon, Danny Carey of Tool, Pete Griffin of Zappa Plays Zappa, and ... Jimmy Hayward, a film director whose credits include “Jonah Hex” and “Horton Hears a Who.” Having two titans of progressive metal in one band is a dream come true for a lot of music nerds like me. It is hard to separate the vision I had for a Mastodon/Tool collaboration and get a fair viewing of this album. It definitely isn’t what I had hoped it would be. But that doesn’t mean it’s bad. “Legend of the Seagullmen” has an identity all its own, telling the story of a ghost pirate crew and the things they find on their adventures on the high seas. Musically, it veers fairly

Recommended for fans of the intermingled sounds of Spaghetti Westerns and shoegazing psychedelia and the likes of Spindrift, Ennio Morricone, or Federale, and the early offerings from Calexico, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, or The Brian Jonestown Massacre.

—— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

—— Cooper Stapleton

DURANGO’S LARGEST PREMIUM CANNABIS DISPENSARY

WWW.SANTECOLORADO.COM 970-375-BUDS

742½ Main Ave. Durango (IN THE ALLEY)

20%

SAVE

Available: Friday, Feb. 9, via Wharf Cat Records in various pre-order bundles. The physical album is available on compact disc and vinyl, with LP versions accompanied by either a Wharf Cat enamel pin or a seven-inch of the album’s standout track and presumed single “Sleepyrder.” For those going the digital-only route, various high-quality formats (MP3, FLAC and more) will be available Friday. Order the record direct from the label, or better still, hit up your local independent record store to give the brick and mortar the much-needed and deserved business.

of the last few years, sent along a teaser from a little-known band from Estonia. The label described their sound as a “fivepiece twang and reverb band featuring three guitarists. They are cowboys at heart who come off as shoegazers by their presence ... dreamcatchers utilizing a consistent sonic palette ranging from dark psychedelic pop to shoegaze-infected western music.”

ON YOUR PURCHASE

(970) 375-2837 2nd Ave

Bank of the San Juans

HANDICAP ACCESSIBLE Alley

E 8th St

Holy Motors,“Slow Sundown”

Durango Coffee Co

Main Ave

Mutu’s Italian Kitchen

No other discounts apply Must have coupon to receive discount Expires February 14, 2018

GOT STRAINS? WE DO! OVER 50+ STRAINS TO SELECT FROM DON’T BE FOOLED! OUR ADVERTISED PRICES INCLUDE TAX

HAPPY HOUR - 10% OFF: 4:20–5:20 PM EARLY BIRD - 10% OFF: RECREATIONAL 9–11 AM MEDICAL 10 –12 PM

WWW.SANTECOLORADO.COM • 742½ MAIN AVENUE • DURANGO, CO

RECREATIONAL: SUN to WED 9AM-9PM & THUR to SAT 9AM-9:45PM · MEDICAL: SUN to SAT 10AM-6:30PM

����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 9

[beer] Beer and Loathing in Durango Sean Moriarty

‘First beer’ stories are great fun. Here’s mine

E

veryone remembers their first beer, right? For many of us, our first beer is hailed as a right of passage and a clear benchmark on the path to adulthood. I was thinking about all of the “first beer” stories I’ve heard in my day and I remembered that nearly every one was entertaining and/or gave me some valuable insight into who the person telling the story was. So, I figured, what the hell?

I might as well tell mine to the entire town.

It was a crisp January evening in Bethel, Connecticut, and I was gathered with every member of my dad’s side of the family at my aunt’s house.

I stress “every member” because that is quite the feat. To give you an idea of how many people were in attendance, I’ll just say that my dad’s family is very Irish and very Catholic. The mood was a combination of cheer and melancholy, each taking a turn depending on the minute and the conversation. The patriarch of the Moriarty family, Grandpa Mo, had

just passed on and his funeral had just ended.

In a little less than an hour, the booze was flowing freely through my family’s veins. (Like I said: Irish Catholic) There were empty Jameson bottles littering the counter tops in the kitchen and assorted beer containers and plastic cups of wine covering the other surfaces throughout the house. I was hanging out with my core group of cousins whose ages ranged from 13 to 17. At this point, we weren’t quite adults, but we liked to think we were, and the more we looked around us, the more we realized we could get away with a considerable amount of shenanigans. We gathered in the basement and began conspiring.

The plan: My cousin Tom would distract my Uncle John with the right question that would guarantee a long-winded response. Then, that would give one of us enough time to bolt into his bedroom and steal one of the fancy cigars he bought for the funeral reception. We all walked upstairs in a pack, with my cousin Tom leading the charge. We huddled four

feet behind Tom as he started to ask his question.

On any other night, we would’ve been a smattering of red flags ripe for reprimand. But, tonight, everyone was hammered and no one noticed.

Just then, I felt a hand land on my shoulder and heard, “Sean Moriarty.” It was my dad. “Oh shit,” I thought, “the jig is up.” He asked me to go outside with him and I prepared to lie my ass off about Operation Dominican Fire. My cousins gave me a look that said “Dead man walkin’” and I followed my dad out the door.

When we got outside, I noticed that my dad had a can of Guinness and two cups. He poured half into one cup, and half in the other. “I figured tonight was as good as any for you to have your first beer,” he said.

All of a sudden my fear turned to relief, excitement, and pride. “Tonight,” I thought “I become a man.”

We talked about the day and how we were holding Continued on Page 11

10 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[travel]

Breaking down on the rez and a living-room stripper pole WANDERLUST Travel stories worth telling

“We went to Flagstaff, on a minitour, me and my band, Long Con. It was in the middle of summer. It was so f--king hot and all we had were these tiny bottles of water that we dumped on our heads. I was driving and we got about three hours outside of Flagstaff, stopped for gas, started driving again and then the engine started clicking.

We pulled on the side of the road and didn’t want to restart the van because we didn’t know what was going on and we didn’t have any oil. We were still on the rez and it was desert everywhere; we were in the middle of nowhere.

Me and Jake (Padilla) stayed with the van and Matt (Dickey) and Jordan (Epstein) hitchhiked back to the gas station about three miles away. They met the nicest people who were super stoked to help us, this old Native couple ... They were super sweet and drove them not only to the gas station but back to the van.

Luckily, we put oil in the van, let it sit for a bit, and it started right back up. Then Jordan drove and I was so sketched out. The van only went about 80 or 85 miles per hour max. Jordan was maxing the rest of the way to Flagstaff. I was like, ‘Jordan, it is an old van and can die at any point!’ (Laughs) But we made it to the venue, this cool coffee shop, Firecreek Coffee, right as we were supposed to be going on.

From Page 10

up, but the details of the conversation didn’t really stick with me. What I remember most was how close I felt to my dad at that moment. Being 13, with puberty hitting me like a freight train, I had been in an ever-escalating battle to distance myself from my parents.

But, on that day, on that porch, I never wanted the conversation to end.

Once the cups were empty, we went back inside. My dad joined my stepmom, aunts and uncles and I ran off to find my cousins. Sure enough, they

»» Brittnie St. Cyr We unloaded and played the weirdest show we’ve ever done. We were the only punk band. Everyone else was folky or super mellow. It was a buncha hippies but they really dug us. (Laughs) After the show, we went back to the band Tiny Bird’s house. It’s a DIY space called The Hive. It was super sick. They had a stripper pole in the living room, so of course, Matt jumped on the pole.

(Laughs) The next morning, Jordan came out to the van and we listened to the entire ‘Moana’ soundtrack waiting for people to wake up. Matt was so mad because he was sleeping in the van and me and Jordan were singing so loud.

The van was an ’87 Ford Econoline. I named it Ernie because my family calls me Burt. It was sick, but I didn’t realize at the time that the radiator was losing fluid. It ate gas and was overheating from burning up so much oil. We had

were huddled outside the basement door, marveling at the fancy cigar in my cousin Tom’s hand. I was less jazzed now because I had just tasted real adulthood in the form of delicious, dry, Irish stout. I took a few puffs anyway and, surprisingly, I really liked the taste. But it was peanuts compared to being on the porch drinking Guinness with my old man.

Sean Moriarty is a former manager and bartender at Steamworks Brewing Co. from 2007-2017 and currently manages their digital marketing.

Courtesy of Brittnie St. Cyr

»» Matt Dickey of Long Con rocking the stripper pole. a couch in the back and a cooler in the floor that held ice and snacks. It had no air conditioning and hardly any windows, and we had a pirate flag.

We musta looked kinda like a crazy murder van driving through the desert.

(Laughs).”

—— Brittnie St. Cyr

Vocalist for Long Con and counterstaff at Your Flesh Tattoo

Got a travel story worth telling? Write it in about 400 words and send it to editor@ dgomag.com. If you’d rather tell your story, send a brief synopsis to the same address. Either way, your story should be true.

One FREE fountain soda w/ purchase of two entrees.

Expires 2/15/18 Must present coupon. Only one coupon per person.

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 11

DECISIONS (AND HOW TO MAKE BETTER ONES): PART 3 OF 3

Sheriff Sean Smith

‘IT WASN’T NECESSARILY A

STRAIGHT PATH OR LADDER. THERE’S ALWAYS A DOOR OR TWO AND YOU PICK WHICH ONE

YOU WANT TO WALK THROUGH.

IF YOU STAY STRONG

TO WHO YOU ARE, PERSEVERE, AND YOU

CONTINUE TO WORK

ON YOURSELF, THE

PATH COMES TO YOU.’

O

K. So. You think you made a muck of your life. You’ve had a foot in six different career paths and they were all interesting but none stuck. Quit beating yourself up. You aren’t the only one who’s had to wade through a swamp of random wants for a few years before you saw the bridge over them all.

DGO’s “Decisions (and how to make better ones)” series has focused on getting you past self-doubt and forcing movement into a stagnant life. Part I featured Ska Brewing co-owner Dave Thibodeau on framing your day for success. In Part II, lawyer and former Colorado state representative and senator Ellen Roberts talked about taking risks and controlling fear. In this third and final installment, La Plata County Sheriff Sean Smith discusses having an internal compass and a trusted group to help make decisions, admitting when you’re wrong, and how a long path to success usually means an interesting life and a resume worth the job you really want.

Continued on Page 14

Decisions (and how to make better ones): A series Previous installments of DGO’s decisions and success series included: Part I: Co-founder and owner of Ska Brewing Co. Dave Thibodeau talked about the active planning and long road to success that took him from high school party kid to craft brewing legend.

Part II: Ellen Roberts, lawyer and former Colorado state representative and senator, on taking risks and controlling fear.

»» The La Plata County lawman discusses the importance of

admitting when you’re wrong and the long road to dream jobs

12 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 13

DECISIONS (AND HOW TO MAKE BETTER ONES): PART 3 OF 3 From Page 13

When a choice goes bad Very first thing, just like in a 12step program, admit when you’re wrong, not just to yourself, but to others. One of the very first decisions I made as sheriff, it was wrong ... I got handed a thing; I made a decision.

Ultimately, it’s kind of worked out with the intent that we put behind it, but that quick reaction of, “I’m going to fix this,” had three other pieces, and, down here, this one still feels broken. You have to admit when you are wrong.

Admitting, “Hey, we didn’t do that quite right,” is the first step to then asking, “How can we do this better?” A lot of great people have said that the best way to learn is making mistakes. If you think you’re right all the time, you’re wrong. (Laughs)

Teamwork and internal compasses At the sheriff’s office, we like to have a team concept. I may be the elected sheriff and I have an under-sheriff, but there’s actually 14 people that represent all aspects of this agency that are in my leadership team. We sit in this room on Tuesdays and vet things. I love to get the feedback.

We have done the pro/con lists, all sorts of exercises in our organizational development. The charts and voting with stickers, all of those different schools of thought. I think that well-informed decisions, when you have the opportunity, are the best way to go.

And sometimes, you need to seek input outside your team to make a well-informed decision. We use county attorneys – all kinds of folks – to give us different perspective.

Quite often, in the emergency management realm, you don’t have time for a democratic point of view, if you will. You have to know what your guiding compass is and go. It is important to have those guidelines up front: This is our vision statement, this is our mission statement, this is who we are, this is why we try to do the things we do. Knowing that and letting it guide you.

For an average person, that can mean, what are you all about? What do you want to get from the world? What do you want the world to see of you?

Try to define that ... Figure out who you

Jerry McBride/BCI Media file

»» La Plata County Sheriff Sean Smith waves to the crowd as he walks down Main Avenue during the 2017 Durango Cowboy Poetry Gathering Parade.

are and who you want to be and what you’re shooting for. What do you want the world to see about you and then let that guide your decisions.

The start of your day matters I recently added a new piece (the start of my day) this year. I read a book

by Admiral McRaven called “Make Your Bed.” ... Basically he says, start your day with this one thing you can control.

Make making your bed your first success of the day and build on it. If your day turns to crap, you’re going to come home to a made bed. A bed you made.

It will feel good.

Dream jobs aren’t necessarily a linear path If anybody took a weird path, it was me ... I joined the military after a semester of college because I knew I wasn’t ready for college. That’s where I met my wife. We just had our 25th

wedding anniversary. We got married young, before we finished school, and we struggled.

I picked up the deceased for the county coroner down in Arizona for a while. I’ve been a drill sergeant in prison for drug offenders. I’ve been a welfare case manager. Lots of different things.

I would start back in school and then we would get pregnant, and I’d drop out to get another job. Life, circumstance, all that. What got me to where I am, through this interesting path of exploratory education and finding what worked to support a family, was perseverance. I made it a priority to finish my degree and keep my education going.

At one point, I left (La Plata County) even though I knew my heart was here because circumstances led me to work for the U.S. Department of Justice. I knew almost immediately it was not the right choice for my life, but I made a choice and had to pursue

it for a while.

(La Plata County) was where my heart was, my passion, and this community was who I wanted to serve, but the time away helped build a resume that qualified me for this position.

It wasn’t necessarily a straight path or ladder. There’s always a door or two and you pick which one you want to walk through. If you stay strong to who you are, persevere, and you continue to work on yourself, the path comes to you.

Happiness isn’t money If you look at Maslow’s hierarchy, there’s basic needs, psychological needs, and those things have to be met.

But how do you get to that self-actualization level? Success is finding a deeper purpose. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel like I am supposed to be here, doing this job. I love my job.

Continued on Page 15

14 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Love.

FEBRUARY 14

Feb. 14 - 5:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Science Center 1333 Camino del Rio Sponsored by The Durango Herald

Lily Russo and Oliver Scott-Tomlin Met on vacation in Mexico

Dan and Jon Bender Married for 45 years

David Sherman Couples counselor

Jerry McBride/BCI Media file

»» La Plata County Sheriff Sean Smith answers questions during a 2017 press conference at the La Plata County Administration Building on the arrest of Mark Redwine.

From Page 14

My undersheriff is a Broncos fan. He could tell you everything you need to know about anybody who ever worked for the Broncos. Meanwhile, I can rattle off a serial number for a light bar in a police car. (Laughs) If you make the choice to go down a path just because of money, I don’t think you will find success and happiness. Money doesn’t buy love. Money doesn’t buy satisfaction. Money doesn’t buy the feeling of you’ve done what you can. You have to figure out what makes you tick.

I have become almost obsessive about this place and my involvement, almost to the detriment of my personal life, at times. You have to be cautious to find that balance in your life. It’s not just about this one thing. If I didn’t have my wife who loves me and my three children who support me, would I be doing as well here? Probably not. This great network has enabled me to pursue this passion. What is success? It’s a lot of different things. It’s definitely not about the size of your paycheck. It is

about figuring out how all this [motions wide with hands] comes together to form a good life.

Looking to other leaders FDR. What did that guy go through?

Between The Depression and World War II, the various dilemmas he saw make my world pale in comparison.

Eleanor (Roosevelt) was a strong force in his life and the White House. I think they found a way to triumph together.

I would love to gain some perspective from FDR and Eleanor.

In modern life, I like to talk to everybody ... I love to listen to other leaders and business owners and hear what they’re doing ... I like to ask people, “Hey, here is what I’m struggling with, what do you think?” Especially when I’m with other leaders, to gain perspective. If you’re always worried about proving that you’re the biggest guy in the room, you’re falling short.

Interview edited and condensed for clarity.

Welcome to Durango Diaries, a speaker series about your community. Join speakers Lily Russo and Oliver Scott-Tomlin will share their story of falling in love after a chance meeting while both on vacation in Mexico; Dan and Jon Bender, who have been married nearly 45 years, will share their tale of falling in love at first sight (and marrying shortly after); David Sherman, a couples counselor, will reflect on the lighter side of what he’s seen in his years of counseling couples.

Durang

Diaries

Presented By:

durangoherald.com/durangodiaries

FREE. Kid-friendly. Beer and wine available for purchase.

—— Patty Templeton

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 15

[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

In Dennis Peron, we lost a cannabis advocate and pioneer “I came to San Francisco to find love and to change the world,” he said. “I found love, only to lose him through AIDS. We changed the world.

Through the legalization of marijuana, we have a kinder America.”

the path to activism, but it was tragedy that spurred him to become the driving force behind California’s groundbreaking legalization measures starting with San Francisco’s Proposition P in 1991, which legalized medical cannabis within city limits and, five – Dennis Peron years later, the Compassionate Care Act, the statewide medical marijuana program that ast weekend we lost a heavybegan the march toward nationwide access weight CannaBoss, a man to that continues to this day. whom anyone who has used The 1980s brought the AIDS crisis with cannabis here in the 21st it, to San Francisco and the Castro in century, as openly and easily as we are particular. It was during this era of his able to, owes a debt of gratitude. Dennis life that Peron turned the corner from pot Peron, the dynamo behind Califordealer to cannabis supplier for those on nia’s Proposition 215, the first legal, the front lines of the epidemic that had state-sanctioned medical marijuana descended upon his neighborhood. He program, died on Jan. 27 from lung supplied the plant material for the proving cancer. ground of cannabis as a viable modern Peron was born in the Bronx, New York, medicine. Peron and those around him in and raised on Long Island. He decided the hospitals and homes of San Francisco that the middle class suburbs wouldn’t be came to realize that marijuana worked where he lived out his days: “I fit in like where so many standard pharmaceutical everyone else. But I just knew I wasn’t that medications failed. It gave sufferers relief person. Number one, I was gay. I knew I from pain, nausea, and the mental duress had to hide. Somehow I had to hide. I was a of what was considered at the time to be a good actor. A good hider,” Peron said in a “death sentence.” But it could not save his 2014 interview. So he joined the Air Force partner, Jonathan West, who passed away and shipped out to Vietnam. On his way to from AIDS in 1990. It was the anguish of Southeast Asia, he made a stop in the city the loss of West that spurred Peron: “In my that would become home for the rest of his pain, I decided to leave Jonathan a legacy life, San Francisco.

Associated Press file of love. I made it my moral pursuit to let He returned to the City by the Bay »» Dennis Peron in 1996. everyone know about Jonathan’s life, his after completing his military service. He death, and his use of marijuana and how it brought two pounds of weed with him and gave him dignity in his final days,” he told launched a 40-year run as a dealer in the cussions and led to clashes with the city’s elected the Los Angeles Times in a 1996 interview. most active neighborhood there, the Castro, setting and, especially, the San Francisco police officials Roll one, light one, smoke one this week for Denup in a big old Victorian crash pad that came to department. be known as the Castro Castle. That spot became Peron was busted several times, including a 200nis Peron, a CannaBoss who leaves a legacy we all a whirlwind of activity through the 1970s and ’80s pound affair that earned him a six-month sentence in benefit from. as Peron and his compadres hosted a restaurant 1978 and was shot in the leg by a cop during one of the downstairs, The Island. Upstairs was ground central police actions. The murder that year of Mayor George Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four for his cannabis sales; both floors became known Muscone and city supervisor Harvey Milk set Peron dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him for their fervent gay rights political and social disand many others around him even more squarely on at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

L

16 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[pages]

[Odd Rot, by Patty Templeton]

Amidst dystopian brutality, beauty and magic Nigerian-American author Nnedi Okorafor won a World Fantasy Award for Best Novel for “Who Fears Death,” and it ain’t hard to see why. It’s a compelling, complex fantasy novel that takes place in a post-apocalyptic Sudan where the light-skinned Nuru oppress the dark-skinned Okeke. We follow Onyesonwu, a young woman on a quest to end the genocide of her people.

This is not necessarily an easy book to read. It’s a heavy story that involves rape, slavery, child soldiers, and female genital mutilation, but

this book is not all violence.

Amidst the brutality there is the beauty of a woman coming into her (magical) power and deciding to change the world.

If you like Octavia Butler, dystopian fiction, or hella detailed worldbuilding, try out Okorafor’s “Who Fears Death.”

Bonus for after you finish the book: Okorafor announced back in 2017 that “Who Fears Death” was in development to be a TV show on HBO with George R. R. Martin (yep, “Game of Thrones” George Martin) as executive producer.

— Patty Templeton

‘Dead Souls’ Patty Templeton knows that a tiny rat dog won’t complete her life but that doesn’t stop her from pining for a frowny, quiet mutt that will dance with her to the album “Hatchetations,” by Carrie Nation and the Speakeasy. You can be a pal to ye olde Templeton at www.instagram.com/pattytempleton or http://pattytempleton.tumblr.com. Sometimes she’s even on Twitter, but barely. So f that address.

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 17

[advice]

Life Hax | Carolyn Hax

My friend noticed my guy wears ladies’ skivvies. Now what?

My boyfriend is a very athletic, CrossFit, off-road-biking, jock kind of guy. He also sometimes likes to wear ladies’ lingerie, which is completely fine with me.

The other day he was wearing a satiny bra under a T-shirt and a friend of ours happened to see the strap. The friend is kind of freaked out and has been pestering me about “what this means” and if it is some weird fetish I have. (It is not. It’s the boyfriend’s thing. And he does not otherwise wear women’s garments.)

I think it’s none of this friend’s business and I’m under no obligation to answer, but my non-answering has convinced the friend I am hiding something unseemly.

How to deal with this? It’s no big deal, but it’s irritating. Friend is not otherwise nosy or judgmental.

What Lies Beneath An unambiguous “Drop it, because this isn’t even remotely your business” is all you need, as long as you have the proper enforcement of a zero-further-discussion policy.

Nice to know someone’s sustaining the satiny-skivvies industry. Most women I know are so thoroughly done with it.

I think online dating is a great idea in theory. But I have anxiety and the thought of spending a couple of hours with someone I don’t know is enough to give me the sweats. What if he’s weird? What if he thinks I’m weird?

What if my anxiety makes me shaky and sweaty? What if I can’t talk at all? What if there’s no chemistry?

What if he’s a serial killer? The logical part of my brain knows none of these things matter (unless he really is a serial killer) and if it doesn’t work out we’ll both just move on with our lives.

But my anxiety will not be mollified.

I’ve been single for an embarrassing length of time. I’ve been chatting with someone online who I look

forward to meeting but the anxiety persists. I’m in therapy but the meeting will most likely happen before my next appointment (and her answer to everything is to meditate). Do you have any advice or words of comfort?

Online Dater I have advice of comfort.

-”[T]he thought of spending a couple of hours with someone ... give[s] me the sweats”: Hours?! No. Hour, or less.

Coffee or a drink to start, and have something you must attend afterward.

Make it clear you’ll meet at X o’clock, but just a quick date because you have to be at Y by Z o’clock.

-”What if he’s weird?” Everybody’s weird. They’re just better or worse at managing it.

-”What if he thinks I’m weird?” See above.

-”What if [I’m] shaky and sweaty?”

Then shake and sweat. What can you do? The alternative is not to date, and you apparently don’t want that, so, there it is. You’ll shake and sweat less on each successive date. It’s just a learning curve like any other.

-”What if there’s no chemistry?”

Then you have a bad time. For 30 minutes. (See No. 1.) You’ll manage.

-”What if he’s a serial killer?” Take reasonable precautions: Meet in public, tell friends where you’ll be, use your own transportation, read or reread “The Gift of Fear.” And, trust that “stranger danger” is overhyped.

7. “[I]f it doesn’t work out we’ll both just move on with our lives.” Yes. The near anonymity of online dating makes this more likely.

BUT. None of this is intended as persuasion. If you don’t like online dating, then don’t do it. As an alternative, push yourself to meet people in group-oriented contexts. Proximity helps us make friends more than anything else. So, think of the things you enjoy, are good at, feel passionate about – and then look for groups that

meet frequently based on those interests. Shared activities ease self-consciousness. Your chances of hitting it off with people (even just new friends) are much higher when you’re comfortable, so let your comfort be your guide.

My girlfriend of three years always badgered me about getting married before our four-year anniversary. At first the arbitrary deadline annoyed me, but after living together for two years and working through the death of her mother, I really am taking the thought seriously. I’ve even started to save up for a ring.

She’s very particular about jewelry, and I’ve never bought her any before, so I opened up a conversation about engagement rings and she immediately became uncomfortable. A few days later she brought it back up and had talked to some of her friends who I suspect might have given her ideas for a ring beyond my means. When I attempted to temper her expectations, she immediately lost patience with me and refused to discuss the matter any further.

When we started dating she’d always tell me she had a pretty elaborate picture of how her wedding would go down, and often showed me fantastic online videos of guys proposing while pulling off impossible stunts. I love my girlfriend, but I’m starting to wonder if I can ever live up to her fantasy, especially when talking about the future only crushes her dreams.

Confused Does she love YOU? Or just your willingness to squeeze yourself into the role she’s imagined since she was a kid?

This isn’t about your worthiness as a partner, to her or anyone else; she might like or even love who you really are if she stops thinking about herself long enough to see it.

It’s strictly about the danger of such a single-minded focus on what a romance is supposed to look like and

the attention it can afford her. How can a person see what’s really there when her whole field of vision is occupied by expectations she built before she met you and apparently hasn’t reflected on since?

The way it usually plays out, unfortunately, is that people use fixed expectations to build relationships that work for a while as role-playing before they inevitably collapse – when, as the years pile up, reality refuses to be ignored.

It’s also possible I’m overstating the role of expectations here, and your girlfriend really does see you and know you and love you. But that’s not what YOU see. You see “badgered” and “annoyed” and “arbitrary” and “particular about jewelry” and “beyond my means” and “lost patience” and “refused to discuss” and “impossible stunts” and, mercifully, “I’m starting to wonder if I can ever live up to her fantasy.”

So, yes. Please escalate from “starting to wonder” to full-on, hot-lights questioning of this three-year transaction relationship where she writes emotional invoices and you pony up.

What are YOU getting out of it emotionally? What is she getting out of her life with you that she couldn’t get from any other guy who agreed to her terms?

What would happen if you proposed without an audience, performed zero stunts, used a Cracker Jack ring and said, “Hey, let’s elope?” Would the simple, profound act of your giving yourself to her for the rest of your lives be enough?

Anyone willing to go into stupid debt can find a way to buy a big ring.

Only you can be you.

Don’t give yourself away cheap.

Carolyn Hax is a syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post. She started her advice column in 1997, after five years as a copy editor and news editor in Style and none as a therapist. Email her at tellme@washpost.com.

18 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening]

DGO’s picks in and around Durango Speed dating Single and ready to mingle? Turtle Lake Café will provide local, fresh snacks and juice during their pre-Valentine’s day speed dating party with plenty of games and prizes.

Details: $15 donation, adults of all ages, 6 p.m., Friday, Feb. 9, Turtle Lake Café, 848 East Third Ave., www.turtlelakerefuge.org

Meet the artists Durango won a National Endowment for the Arts grant for a community art project! The installation will be in the long medians at the U.S. Highway 550 and 160 intersection. Go to Ska Brewing to meet the three artists with proposals in the final running for the project.

Details: Free, all ages, 4:30-6:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 9, Ska Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., www.facebook.com/skabrewing. You can also see the proposed projects at http://bit.ly/2DMXPIO. The city wants your input!

From Feb. 5 to 23, you can vote at the same link on which proposal you like best.

Booze and CRAFTING! The Pine River Library is hosting a craft night at the Billy Goat Saloon. Got a hammer? Bring it if you can. The craft is a string and nail heart with a recycled pallet wood base. Get hammered, hammering a heart together for that special someone in yer life.

Details: Free, 21 and over, 6 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 10, Billy Goat Saloon, 39848 US Highway 160, Bayfield, www.facebook.com/pineriverlibrary

Your pre-Valentine’s Day date night The dance floor is open and tunes will be provided by Silver and Strings, Loki Moon, and Will Cooter Gang. There’ll be a cash bar and a photobooth. Portion of proceeds go to the iAM Music Institute and Stillwater Music Foundation.

Details: $10 cash at door, 21 and up, 7 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 10, VFW, 1550 Main Ave., www.facebook.com/pg/lokimoonmusic

Joy Harjo at Strater KSUT radio presents poet, musician, and author Joy Harjo and Poetic Justice at the Strater Theatre. Harjo has won critical acclaim for her musical and literary works, both of which often reflect themes of activism, survival, the natural world. It’s gonna be a sick freakin’ show, so be there.

Thursday Little Readers story time,

10 a.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Toddler story time, 10:30

a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. “What’s at Stake for the LPEA Election?” discussion, 5 p.m., R Space, 734 East

Second Ave. La Plata Quilters Guild meeting, 5:30 p.m., La Plata

County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave., 749-5582.

Tim Sullivan, 5:30 p.m., Dia-

in HD: G. Donizetti, 10 a.m., $20-$23, Fort Lewis College, Student Union, Vallecito Room, 1000 Rim Drive, 247-7657.

house Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio.

Kirk James, 5:30 p.m., Digs

Methodist Church of Cortez, 515 N. Park St., Cortez.

Restaurant and Bar, 125 Mercado St. Leah Orlikowski, 5:30 p.m.,

Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Wednesday Morning Meditation for All, 8:30 a.m., Pine River Library,

Peking Acrobats, 7:30 p.m., $19-$35, Fort Lewis College, Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Introduction to Electronics, 6 p.m., $20-$40, Powerhouse

Free tax help, 1:30 p.m., Pine

River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio.

Bluemoon Ramblers, 7

Winter Tales Lecture Series: Trip to Tanzania, 6:30

p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

p.m., Dolores Public Library, 1002 Railroad Ave., 882-4127.

Matt Rupnow, 7 p.m., Office

Joel Racheff, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

Monday

Caregiver Cafe, 10 a.m., Pine

Looking for Healing, 10 a.m., Christian Science Reading Room, 1166 East Third Ave.

River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Thrive! Living Wage Coalition meeting, 5:30 p.m.,

Preschool story time, 10:30

Commons Building, 701 Camino del Rio.

STEAM Lab, 3:30 p.m., Duran-

Introduction to Laser cutting, 6 p.m., $20-$40, Power-

go Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

house Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio.

After School Awesome,

“Crazy Brave” by Joy Harjo: Common Reading Experience, 7 p.m., Fort Lewis

3:30 p.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Meet the Artists Open House for Community Art Project, 4:30 p.m., Ska Brewing

Co., 225 Girard St., 247-5792.

Durango High School baseball fundraiser dinner, 5:30 p.m., $15, Durango

High School, 2390 Main Ave. StillHouse Junkies, 5:30

College, Whalen Field, 1000 Rim Drive.

Tuesday Homebuyer Education class, 8:30 a.m., $15, La Plata

Electric Association, 45 Stewart St. Great Decisions 2018 Discussion Group, 11:30 a.m.,

Details: $25, all ages, 7:30 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 14, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., www.henrystratertheatre.com

p.m., Durango Crafts Spirit, 1120 Main Ave.

Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave.

WindSync, 7 p.m., Montezu-

MURS at ACT

ma-Cortez High School, 418 S. Sligo St., Cortez.

Baby story time, 2 p.m., Du-

rango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Valentine Dance, 7 p.m., $1$5, Southern Ute Multi-Purpose Building, 256 Ute Road, Ignacio.

Mardi Gras Pancake Supper Benefit, 4:30 p.m., $4-

“They say that happiness is a choice. Well, I guess they get to choose. Put all them so-called friends with they fake ass friends, Ain’t never been in my shoes.” MURS lays down sick rhymes about everything from melancholy to police violence and he’ll be at the ACT with Def-I and Rize tha Rebel opening.

Details: $25, 18 and over, 8:30 p.m. doors, 9 p.m. show, Wednesday, Feb. 14, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, www.animascitytheatre.com

Robby Overfield, 7 p.m.,

Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Saturday Community Yard Sale, 9

a.m., Southern Ute Multi-Purpose Building, 256 Ute Road, Ignacio.

Metropolitan Opera Live

Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

Sunday

a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave.

Tim Sullivan, 7 p.m., Office

Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office

mond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Friday

Valentine Concert and Dinner, 7 p.m., First United

$7.50, St. Barnabas Church, 110 W. North St., Cortez.

Professional Women’s Network, 5 p.m., $10, Steaming

Bean, 900 Main Ave. Tuesday jam, 6 p.m., The Irish

Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200.

Introduction to 3-D printing, 7 p.m., $15-$25, Power-

395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Green Business Roundtable: Using Business as a Force for Good, noon, $17-

$22, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

T(w)een Time, 4 p.m., Duran-

go Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. SMART Recovery Durango, 5:30 p.m., Suttle Street Clinic,

72 Suttle St., Suite M. Greg Ryder, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Introduction to 3-D computer modeling, 6 p.m.,

$30, Powerhouse Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio. Introduction to CNC Routing, 6 p.m., $45, Powerhouse

Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio. Love, Laser and Libations, 6 p.m., $55, Powerhouse Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio. Terry Rickard, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

Ongoing Durango Arts Center 10-Minute Play Contest submissions, accepted

through Feb. 9. To submit, visit www.durangoartscenter.submittable.com/submit/98943/10-minute-play-contest.

“The Shape Of Water” exhibit by artist Julia Klema,

on display through Feb. 23 at Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www.dgomag.com, visit

www.swscene.com, click “Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form and submit.

Listings at www.swscene.com will appear on www.dgomag. com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www. swscene.com is free and takes one day to process.

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 19

DEALS

Dog & Cat Food & Supplies Grooming & Dog Wash • Boarding Day Care

February Special

Pay in advance for

4 self service dog washes, Get 5th Free!

21738 Hwy 160W, Durango

All washes must be used by 11/30/2018

970.375.9700

healthyhoundsandfatcats.com

Expires 02/28/18. Cannot be combined with any other offer.

Last bath of the day must be started at least one hour before closing time.

275539

D G O

RNH ROOFING All Phases of Roofing • Re-roofing • New Construction • Snow Removal •

Repairs • Veteran & Senior Discounts • Licensed & Insured • Roof Heat Melt Systems •

20%OFF

ALL PROJECTS UNDER $400

10%OFF

ALL PROJECTS OVER $500

25 years experience!

Call Richard 970-749-4288

Expiration Date: 2/28/18 276887

To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 20 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

!

Cliffrose

GARDEN CENTER & GIFTS

Open Everyday!

Champagne Shopping Wednesdays!

“Suddenly Slender helped change my life”

After ››

27885 HW 160 • Cortez, CO

970.565.8994

15% OFF Expiration Date: 2/28/18

Must present coupon at time of purchase.Not valid with any other offer.

5 Pack $705 with the 6th Wrap

FREE! (exp Feb 28, 2018)

‹‹ Before

Bird Feeders, Bird Baths Gardening Books & House Plants

276890

Mummy Mondays

Every Monday Wraps are priced at $130 Regularly priced $165 (exp Feb 28, 2018)

3701 N. Main 100B • Durango 970.259.6961 SuddenlySlenderNowDurango.com

D G O

Cliffrose Garden Center

3 Course Dinner for $25.00!

Choose from our weekly selections.

725 E 2nd Ave, Durango, CO 81301 • (970) 385-6884 • Closed Sunday

Expiration Date: 02/28/18 Offer cannot be combined with other promotions.

Not valid on holidays.

Recommended by Bon Appetit, Sunset Magazine, The New York Times. Taste of Durango’s “Best Food” Award.

Locally Blown Glass CBD Products Local Artwork Vaping Products Apparel, etc

entire purchase $

over 25!

Expiration Date: 02/28/2018

Must present coupon at time of purchase.

Not valid with any other offer. One per customer.

Open EVERYDAY! 10am-8pm

835 MAIN AVE, Durango, CO 81301

Come visit us at our NEW location in Main Mall!

DEALS

Enjoy an appetizer, entree and dessert all for $25.00

pipe or pack of rolling papers

with any purchase!

Expiration Date: 02/28/2018

Must present coupon at time of purchase.

Not valid with any other offer. One per customer.

To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 21

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) This is an excellent week to talk to younger people or people who are creative and artistic. Bounce your ideas off others to get their feedback.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) You are in the limelight this week! People in authority notice you, and they admire you. Obviously, this means it’s your chance to ask for what you want.

Go for it!

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Make future plans to travel, or do whatever you can to travel this week.

This same urge to expand your world can apply to getting further education and training.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

Discussions about inheritances, shared property and insurance issues will

benefit you this week. Demand the advantage because you likely will get it.

Someone owes you a favor.

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) Remember to get more sleep right now.

(You’re tired.) Nevertheless, socializing with partners and close friends will be rewarding this week.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Do whatever you can to boost your health and get better organized this week because this will make you feel better. (You don’t like to feel as if you’re losing control of things.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) This is a great time to party. It’s also a wonderful week to take a vacation and enjoy the arts, playful activities with children, romantic adventures and sports. Enjoy!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

Your focus definitely is on home, family and real estate this week. Look for ways to redecorate at home or even renovate. You also might like to entertain at home this week.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Conversations with siblings, relatives and neighbors will be positive this week. This also is a good week for sales, marketing, writing and communicating with others.

Sun, Mercury and Venus all are in your sign. Yes, you shine!

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) Seek out solitude in beautiful surroundings this week so that you can have some peace and quiet. Your ambition still is aroused, but you need to take a breather.

BORN THIS WEEK

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

You are quite psychic. You do your homework because you like to be prepared. This is a busy, social year when you will live life to the fullest! It’s a fun-loving year! You will want to nurture the happiness and beauty around you. Be grateful for what you have.

Focus on the positive. Expect increased popularity and warm friendships that will delight you.

It’s easy to attract people and favorable situations to you right now because the

© 2018 King Features Syndicate Inc.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) You can boost your earnings this week!

Look for ways to make more money. In some fashion, you can attract wealth and increase your assets.

[ Valentine’s Day puns] Hey all you lovelorn nerdos and dreamy romantics, text one of these crapass, yet adorable puns and a corresponding gif to the hottie you’ve been eyeballing. They’re gonna be so overwhelmed by your clever, cheeseball wooing that you two will totally be going steady 10 minutes later. »»Yoda one for me. »»Olive you. »»You’re my butter half. »»You’re the one pho me. »»I like you a latte. »»Pugs and kisses. »»You’ve stolen a pizza my heart. »»You’re lookin’ gouda. »»You’re pearfect. »»I’m en-raptored by you. »»Whale you be mine? »»You are deer to me. »»Words cannot espresso how hawt you are. »»I donut know what I’d do without you. »»I think you’re dino-mite.

If none of these puns makes your kitten smitten, you could try reading Lord Byron poems outside their window after you’ve gained their attention by blaring “I Will Always Love You,” by Whitney Houston.

22 | Thursday, February 8, 2018 •• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

SNOWDOWN

IN PICTURES With Snowdown upon us, Durango wasted no time in making this town look, ahem, classy. DGO photo maven Lucy Schaefer was out and about over the five days finding trouble.

For more photos, go to Page 2 and dgomag.com

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 8, 2018 | 23