Everything You Were Afraid to Ask The Guy Who Cleans Crime Scenes

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, February 15, 2018

DGO

FREE!

EVERYTHING EVERYTHING YOU WERE WERE YOU AFRAID TO TO ASK ASK AFRAID THE GUY GUY WHO WHO THE CLEANS CRIME CRIME CLEANS SCENES SCENES

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Also: MarchFourth returns to Durango, touring the Bisti Badlands, and what you’re missing out on if you’re not vaping

LEGAL MARIJUANA

AND TEENAGERS Feb. 28 - 5:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Science Center 1333 Camino del Rio Breeah Kinsella Coalition coordinator for Celebrating Healthy Communities

Jonny Radding Managing partner at Durango Organics

Join speakers Breeah Kinsella, the coalition coordinator for Celebrating Healthy Communities where she engages the community in conversations about youth substance abuse and promoting healthy lifestyles; and Jonny Radding, the managing partner at Durango Organics, who will discuss how Durango Organics started as a medical dispensary and how the business works to keep marijuana out of the hands of minors.

BIS A NN CA 101 ~ ~ Sponsored by:

Durang

Diaries

Presented By:

durangoherald.com/durangodiaries

FREE. Teen-friendly. Beer and wine available for purchase.

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DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 3 Number 17 Thursday, February 15, 2018

Editor/ creative director David Holub dholub@bcimedia.com

*

Durango on the weekend Snowdown didn’t slow her down: Lucy Schaefer was back out on the town with her camera.

375-4551 Staff writer Patty Templeton ptempleton@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko 375-4553

Check out the photos on Page 23 and many more at dgomag.com

Contributors Katie Cahill Christopher Gallagher Bryant Liggett

4

From the Editor

4

Love it or Hate it

5

Gaming

7

Street Style

8

Sound

Downtown Lowdown

Album Reviews 9 10 Beer

Jon E. Lynch

11 Travel

Brett Massé

Lindsay Mattison

Lucy Schaefer/Special to DGO

Sean Moriarty

17 Pages

Cooper Stapleton

18 Life Hax

Robert Alan Wendeborn 375-4570 Chief Executive Officer Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing

7

Durango street style Eddie McGuire is the gregarious sort with a giant smile, welcoming conversation, and if you’ve been to Moe’s, you’ve seen him behind the bar. We chatted up McGuire about his laidback, button-up style.

Kricket Lewis Founding Editors Amy Maestas David Holub

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

Get Outta Town 11

16 Weed

Lucy Schaefer

Reader Services

8

10 Smuttynose auction seems

like a steal. Or is it?

One of the really hard-hitting pieces of beer news in the last few weeks was the announcement that Smuttynose Brewing, a 24-year-old brewery in Hampton, New Hampshire, will be sold at auction. So what’s the deal?

Tell us what you think!

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know?

Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

19 Happening

23 Get outta town:

Bisti Badlands

20 DGO Deals

You don’t have to drive to the Grand Canyon to catch a glimpse of otherworldly rock formations. The Bisti Badlands is roughly 60 square miles of Insta-perfect, sci-fi rock outcroppings just south of Farmington.

22 Horoscope/ puzzles 23 Pics

/dgomag

/dgomag @dgo_mag

ON THE COVER Richard Carpenter of UltraSteam is a really nice man, but looks a little scary here, if you ask us.

David Holub/DGO

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

A SAVVY MAGAZINE FOR A SAVVY CUSTOMER.

Call Call 375-4570 375-4570 or or email email info@dgomag.com info@dgomag.com

CARRY DGO IN YOUR BUSINESS ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 15, 2018 | 3

@dg

dg

[CTRL-A]

[ love it or hate it ]

David Holub |DGO editor

Malls Love It

I wish I could say that I hate malls, but I don’t. I really don’t. I f*cking love going to the mall.

When nachos become tacos: Our dystopian food future

M

y taco friends, it is my duty to inform you that we are currently witnessing a major shift that is happening right in front of our eyes, a slippery slope of taco size, an erosion of taco value, an ever-shrinking transformation of the taco, a shift in taco norms and mores. Yes, we are on a doomsday path where tacos will soon be nachos.

Let me first say this: I’ve never eaten a taco I didn’t like. And the simpler the better. Give me some carne asada, cilantro and lime, a bit of pico and lettuce and I will ask for nothing more. But really, any taco will do.

What has me curious these days is the word “street” being used as a modifier, as it makes me wonder what the difference is between a taco and a street taco. My first guess is the street infers “street food,” which in turn implies simpler and perhaps cheaper.

My growing fear, however, based on a mountain of evidence – from all the street tacos I’ve eaten, to the tiny street taco tortillas they sell in the supermarket – is that the “street” in street taco simply means “smaller.”

Smaller tacos, you say, so what?

Just eat more. I get that mentality and, trust me, I will eat more. To get to the heart of my worry, I tell this story: For my impending marriage celebration, we decided on a caterer – Smoke on Wheels – which does barbecue tacos and sandwiches. The choice was easy: SOW quite simply does the best barbecue around. However, by definition, since they are a food truck and literally sell tacos on the street, what SOW offers is a street taco. But have I been telling my friends that we’ll be having street tacos at my party?

No. I’ve been telling them that we’re having tacos. While the tacos at SOW are not smaller or simpler per se than a regular taco, this is how it starts: Street tacos being called just tacos. Do you see where I’m going with this?

It’s like the trendification and

co-opting of tapas. In America, I’m pretty sure “tapas” is Spanish for “less food for more.” Or maybe it’s Spanish for “40 percent markup.” Or maybe it’s Spanish for “I paid $12.99 for this?” It seemed for a while that restaurants would half the size of a normal appetizer, throw the word tapas on the menu, and customers would gleefully pay whatever they were asked. I fear the same is happening with tacos and their usually-smaller friends, street tacos.

Here’s how it will happen in the near-future: As street tacos become more and more ubiquitous, people will drop the “street” and begin to refer to them simply as “tacos,” just as I have been doing. And because the less-formore strategy of the street taco was so successful, taco makers will see how far – and how small – they can go. The tortillas will get smaller and smaller, from 4 inches, to 3 inches, to 2. Before we know it, what we now consider to be a tortilla chip (or its soft version in the future) will by then be known as “tacos.” We’ll wait 15 minutes and pay $12.99 for a six-pack of “tacos.” We now eat nachos by the plateful, but who eats a whole plate of tacos? No one. And that’s the point. It’ll all be so normal.

Your friend will call you up and say, “Wanna get some tacos,” and you’ll say, “OK, but I’m only eating four this time!” At the grocery store they’ll begin selling what we now think of as a regular 5-inch soft taco shell and it’ll be the equivalent of a modern-day 14-inch burrito tortilla. People of the 2020s will look at them and say, “Who could possibly eat so much tortilla?!”

Do I fear this soon-to-be reality?

Yes. Do I want it? Of course not.

What can be done? If you see a smaller-than-normal taco, simply call it a street taco. And if you order a taco with no mention of a “street” and it comes out smaller than normal, quietly leave the restaurant and never come back. If you want to yell “I am nacho fool” on your way out, that’s fine too.

The mall is where my 14-year-old self would commandeer a food court table with my bestie to people-watch and talk. It was the Big Wide Open World where everything was possible because nobody knew who you were.

There’s nostalgia to my adoration. The mall is where I tried on a thousand bras for the first time. It’s where I had my first calzone at Sbarro. It’s where I met my good pal Frankenmonster 10-plus years ago while working at a downtrodden Waldenbooks.

Maybe malls used to be a portrait of capitalist overspending, but these days, with the interwebs taking over our everything, the mall seems like one of the last bastions of people leaving their houses and finding physical community.

BONUS: “Dawn of the Dead” and “Chopping Mall” are both trashtastic horror movies that take place in malls and David Byrne’s movie, “True Stories,” has a brief mall setting. I love them all.

—— Patty Templeton

Hate it Perhaps it’s unfair to malls elsewhere, but after a maiden visit to the mall in Farmington over the weekend, my distaste for malls only grew (even though the Durango (s)mall makes its Farmington counterpart look like a Saudi palace).

Perhaps it was the entire wing of the mall that smelled like a garbage disposal that had eaten a head of cabbage two weeks earlier (that’s the danger with such enclosed spaces). Or the dime-a-dozen clothing stores with the over-eager sales crew there to meet you at the front because you’re the first person they’ve come into contact with all day. Or perhaps it’s the fact that malls are essentially museums to empty space, thanks both to the cavernously-high ceilings creating vast amounts of air to be heated and cooled, and the number of empty shops for lease.

No, my distaste for malls isn’t so much hatred as it is pity. While flagship stores usually pull off the bustling mall atmosphere of yore, there’s too much forgotten glory and modern-misery elsewhere: The empty video arcade; the bored, smartphone users working at the numerous phone, hair extension, and candy kiosks; the dingy rug shops, or Western-wear shops, or art studios.

It’s no wonder malls have gone out of fashion pretty much everywhere. And the ones still clinging on make me want to cry.

—— David Holub

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[gaming]

Extra Life | Brett Massé

In times of struggle, even behind the anonymity of a screen name, you are not alone

M

y earliest memories are filled with a sense of companionship.

I remember a cold, glossy tile floor with couch cushions spread across it and a lot of “Super Mario Bros” on our colossal, 26-inch TV. Our neighborhood friends would gather around and play games, constantly trying to get closer to the end of the game. I was never good by any stretch of the imagination, and expected that I would eventually fail and run out of extra lives to continue.

This deeply-ingrained knowledge that I wouldn’t always beat a game or get the highest score helped me enjoy the act of playing games more. Clarity around this fact really started to crop up when I began attending LAN (local area network) parties around 2004. I felt an intoxicating amount of enjoyment even while being at the bottom rung of any competitive game. Though I would be thoroughly beat to a pulp

by TxtbookNinja in “Starcraft,” I still enjoyed seeing how someone could so perfectly destroy me. Though I leaned toward first-person shooters, Pugboy was always happy to spoon-feed me a wealth of bullets. And though he is the sweetest human being on the planet, Falcondan was always sure to prance about at the top of most any leaderboard. For me, the best part of a good LAN party is the comradery and love for even your most bitter of virtual rivals.

As our gaming crew grew and ventured out to other LAN events, we began to build stronger ties with oth-

Pumpkin

ers in different cities, most notably our dear friends in Albuquerque. Hailing from the distant, desert waste, these gaming companions would venture to Durango for various LAN parties just as we would travel south to game in their locale. The network grows wider and farther every year and we can still make efforts to meet and game together, if not online, at least somewhere like Dallas for the annual Quakecon.

Sadly, with the passing of each year, occasionally the passing of a friend occurs as well. This year we said goodbye to a dear companion, Matt Jewell, who admittedly I only really ever knew as “Rif7e.”

We may shout and scream and throw our hands in the air at one another on a regular basis, but gaming communities, notably LAN communities, are especially close. There is no real anonymity behind our screen names; we are not completely unknown to one another because we regularly occupy one another’s physical space as well as virtual. Though I personally only interacted with Rif7e maybe a couple of times in the past, his passing has been noted.

In the gray, quiet after such a devastating loss, we often can hear ourselves asking questions: How do we go on? How can we rearrange ourselves from this mess? What are our priorities? What will we do with our time? While I can’t answer any of those questions for anyone but myself, I can at least say that it gets easier after you accept that there is suffering, sadness, and anger, and that it is far worse if you try to move forward by ignoring it. Traumatic

loss can shape our behavior or actions but doesn’t have to control us with fear.

We will constantly be confronted throughout our lives by such painful realities. Maybe it’s fear of loneliness, aging, sickness, poverty, or death. Perhaps you have fears based around your desires to be recognized, to be independent, wealthy. These fears, big and small, shape how we behave and take action.

We might ignore some of these fears sometimes, but they are always there and can lead to unhealthy decisions and self-harm. They can drain your energy and can interfere with finding some peace.

Accepting that there is suffering can help free up your mind, give you some space to let loose of your fears, and see more clearly your path forward. There is no perfect way of doing this and it is very difficult to know what actions to take around your fears. I can say that it doesn’t get easier if you don’t take the time to reflect, maybe meditate, maybe talk it out, and practice. There’s no way to get through trauma and loss without being changed, perhaps even hurt, but accepting that it may be painful, and that you will survive it, helps. It’s OK to be clueless at times; I certainly don’t have all the answers, but moving forward and accepting that there is pain can help you feel relief.

Please don’t surrender, and don’t shut yourself off.

For now, I find that it is best to spend time around loved ones and doing the things that we love.

Though I am total garbage at it, I have been playing a first-person, tactical shooter called “Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six: Siege” with my friends. I frequently find myself to be the least-valuable player to my teams, but that’s OK. The time I’m sharing with my loved ones is the best part of any game.

If you are having an especially hard time, please reach out to someone, anyone. Depression is never something to take lightly and therapy is never a bad idea. You are not alone.

Brett Massé is currently playing “Grotto” by Michelle Olson and NeonBlade.

Sweet and single retiree seeks long-term companionship. Must love taking naps, sunbathing and making biscuits. I’m looking to be your furever valentine.

How about a date?

La Plata County Humane Society 1111 S. Camino del Rio Durango, CO 81303

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[sound]

Chatting about life’s strange paths with John Averill of MarchFourth

DREAMING BIG AND DANCING HARD Holy hot-brass and ass-shaking wow, MarchFourth is the freak-funk soundtrack of your boldest, best dreams. You know the dream I’m talking about, the one where you had to cut a tea time short with Funkadelic to go hang out with The Meters. But, hell and yes, the good news is you don’t have to only see them in said dreams – MarchFourth is playing a show at the Animas City Theatre on Friday, Feb. 16. The bad news? It’s sold out. If you shmooped about and didn’t grab tickets, you’re gonna have to dance to the faded thumps of fabulosity from the parking lot.

DGO spoke to John Averill, bandleader and bass player of MarchFourth, about confidence in creating and living life at a full-tilt boogie.

Everyone’s got a secret wish with what they want to be doing with their time. Averill’s wish was for a life of music and, 15 years later, MarchFourth is still going strong. Averill opened up about leaving the job he trained for and jumping into a next-level life.

How do you know a good show is a good show?

Being in the moment is magic. That makes a show special for me. If the band is tight and people aren’t making mistakes, it makes for a good show, but really the magic ingredient is the audience. When we put out energy and the audience gives back that energy right out of the gate, it is infectious.

What’s the importance of the performance side of the live show?

When the band started off, it was this huge spectacle. The performers bought us time for the band to develop into a really good band. People were so wowed by the spectacle and the energy that it gave the band time to get really good.

We’re nearing a crossroads where the band is developing even more as a sonic experience and it will be interesting to see what we come up with for our performance side ... It’s important to me that we are a dance band first that is accented by performance art.

What band would be a

dream to open for?

You know who would be rad to open for? Red Hot Chili Peppers. Those guys, I met a couple (of them) way back in the day. I lived in LA in the ’90s and used to go see them before “Blood Sugar Sex Magik” when they blew up. I was in college. I started learning the bass. I thought Flea was the bomb.

How do you compose music?

What I really love now are voice notes on my iPhone. I have hundreds of them. It’s me going on a 5-minute ramble. I want to write stuff down, but I don’t write as fast as my brain works and, even though I can type quickly, I can’t turn on my computer and compose in the moment all the time.

It’s easier just to say it ... it’s documenting an idea and a moment. I come up with song ideas and ramble a melody out at 3 in the morning, and without that voice memo, I wouldn’t remember it the next day.

What kinda job did you have before MarchFourth?

I had a real job before I decided to do this. I was an animator and made good money. That job ended and that

was the catalyst for this band. The way it ended, the entire company I worked for got laid off by Fox Television. That motivated me to never want to have a boss again. How MarchFourth came about was a couple different circumstances and one of them was that I decided at age 34 that I was going to jump into music and give up all these things that I had been trained to do and make money from because I wanted to do the thing that I loved the most.

Do you ever struggle with confidence in regard to your art?

My confidence is tested every day. Is this band ever going to be successful in the way that I would like it to be? Am I a decent songwriter? What’s happening with us? All those things, but I think the key to the band existing is, don’t quit.

Starting a new career, let alone one in the arts in your mid-30s, would scare the hell out of a lot of folks.

What would you say to someone about taking a later leap for a dream job?

Well, I enjoy that I don’t have to report to somebody who can tell me whether or not I am employed anymore, but the grass isn’t necessarily greener.

Most of my friends are already starting to look at inevitable retirement because they have done All The Right Things.

But then I go visit them when we play in their towns and I feel like some seem to be 10 years older than me in terms of energy. I feel like following what I really want to do has kept me a lot younger than I otherwise might be. I feel like stress over time has an impact.

The key is really recognizing your individual self and what you uniquely have to contribute to the world. It’s finding your story, your path. If you want to put in the effort to follow your dream, then you should do it. We don’t know how much time we have left on this planet.

I don’t think I’m here to just survive.

There’s a lot more going on here about enlightenment and evolution.

Interview edited and condensed for clarity.

—— Patty Templeton

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[Durango street style]

Button-ups and sleeves in the works Eddie McGuire is the gregarious sort with a giant smile, welcoming conversation, and if you’ve been to Moe’s, you’ve seen him behind the bar.

DGO chatted up McGuire about his laid-back, button-up style.

y a D s ’ t n e d i s e Pr

“When I first moved out here, I was almost traditional Durango where, not to be rude, I didn’t give a shit. I dressed in raggedy clothes. It wasn’t a priority. Once I started bartending at Moe’s, I decided I had to look a little more professional. I don’t know what I am.

Hipster chic? [Laughs] I’ve got tattoos and gauges and I like to look nice. So it’s a lotta button-ups, grays, maroons. I like to pretend that I look like a rock star, but I feel like I look like anyone else.

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My owl is for my son. My candle is an homage to Anthony Green and Circa Survive. I put the owl right there because the same day I found out I was having my son I was getting my candle tattoo. The poppies are for my parents ... There’s a symbol from a Bon Iver song called ‘33 ‘God.’’ Arrows are for me and two other friends who learned how to shoot archery at the same time.

My butterfly, I kinda got that whimsically. I was hanging out with my tattoo artist friend and was like, ‘Are you gonna tattoo me or what?’ and he was like, ‘Well, pick something out, stupid!’ [Laughs] I go to Fifth Dimension Tattoo with Jesus Gonzalez. He’s my go-to guy right now. Really good and at a good price. He’s done four tattoos on me now.”

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305 S Camino Del Rio Centennial Center • Durango, CO

Interview edited and condensed for clarity.

—— Patty Templeton

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[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Sihasin mixes traditional Navajo with punk rock

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A

n interview with Jeneda and Clayson Benally of the rock duo Sihasin reveals more than the music basics. Their history, description of the music, and tour plans are covered, but the conversation ultimately reveals music to be the external vehicle for their work. Look under the hood and you’ll discover a very clear message that the siblings are dedicated to a lifetime of action via music.

The musicians, whose careers started on the Navajo Nation in Arizona as the band Blackfire almost 30 years ago, have addressed numerous topics via song, including government oppression, youth empowerment, substance abuse, and domestic violence, all through a unique and original mix of traditional Navajo music and punk rock. As Sihasin, bass player Jeneda and drummer Clayson (both handle vocals) continue their work in a guitar-less, socially conscious, raw, honest, and original rock band.

Sihasin will perform Saturday, Feb. 17 at the Sunflower Theatre in Cortez.

While it’s activist music, the word “activist” is a label they try to avoid.

“I never considered myself an activist,” said Clayson. “It’s just second nature to want to help. That’s part of our journey as humans ... I consider myself a storyteller. Part of our history is based on communicating our history, our oral traditions, and sharing a message. And, oftentimes, there is meaning in the music. It connects.”

“I’ve never identified with the word activist. I’m an advocate,” added Jeneda. “We should all be active. What I strive for is respectful and healthy communities, where there isn’t fear based upon one’s race, gender, religion.”

It’s difficult to throw around the word “original” when it comes to music. Yet it works with Sihasin, as the only band you can connect them with is their previous outfit, Blackfire. The duo has created a sound

GO! Saturday: Rock music with Sihasin, 7 p.m. $12. The Sunflower Theatre, 8 E. Main St., Cortez. Information: 970-516-1818. that utilizes numerous modern genres of music combined with music of their heritage. The result is a genreless sound respectful to their past with a nod for independent music of today.

It’s honest music that is as smart as much as it rocks. It’s 100 percent rhythm section, all coming from a punk-rock mindset the duo has proudly lived and displayed since Day 1.

“We try to defy genres,” said Jeneda. “It’s our emotion. We’re not putting on an act when we play music, it’s who we are. It’s authentic.”

Their forthcoming record, “Fight Like a Woman,” will drop April 22, Earth Day. The duo recorded the album at the Eight Palms Ranchero Studio in Poway, California, owned and operated by one-time Durango-area resident Ed Stasium.

Stasium, whose resume includes production, engineering, and mixing credits on numerous Ramones albums, among countless others, remains a professional colleague and personal fan dating back to when he produced, engineered, mixed, and mastered the last Blackfire album.

Stasium recorded and mixed this release along with co-producing it with the Benallys.

“I like their spirit. They don’t want to be rock stars, they don’t want to be on ‘American Idol,’ they don’t want to be on ‘The Voice.’ Their music has a message, and they’re fantastic people,” said Stasium. “They don’t sound like anybody else. I love the lyrical content, I like the fact that they incorporate traditional Navajo songs into the modern vibe, and I dig the fact that it’s just bass and drums.”

Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

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[sound] What’s new Superchunk,“What a Time to Be Alive” Available: Friday, Feb. 16, via Merge Records on compact disc and vinyl LP. Preordered vinyl bundles also include a turntable slipmat adorned with the album artwork. For the collector/fan, there is a limited-edition pressing on pink-in-clear vinyl that includes a 12 by 24-inch foldout poster.

While these are already sold out from the label, you can check in with a variety of independent record stores to purchase the exclusive version. Which is awesome.

Durham, North Carolina-based Merge Records was founded in 1989 by Superchunk guitarist and lead vocalist Mac McCaughan and bassist/vocalist Laura Balance, at the fore of the DIY

New at

Feb. 16 I’m With Her,“See You Around” I’m With Her brings together three of the greatest minds in the contemporary folk and bluegrass scenes for a collaborative album to rival the classic “Trio” of Emmylou Harris, Linda Ronstadt, and Dolly Parton. “See You Around” brings together Sara Watkins, Aiofe O’Donovan, and Sarah Jarosz on a subdued but triumphant burst of folk wonder. The three women work so well within each other’s confines that it feels sometimes as if they have always worked together, filling the spaces of the others’ breathing with an unconscious fullness. Instrumentally, the album doesn’t feature any really elaborate playing, with the vocals taking most of the focus. Each track seems to have a driving theme of self-reliance, even on a track like “Ain’t That Fine,” where past mistakes are idly left behind. If you are a fan of modern folk music then you will find a lot to love on “See You Around.” I know I talk about supergroups a lot, but this one is not to be missed.

Windhand/Satan’s Satyrs, “Split” Windhand took the doom metal world by storm a few years ago with their

longtime members Jim Wilbur (guitar, backing vocals) and Jon Wurster (drums, backing vocals). The record is a scathing critique of the current political climate, presidential shit-[eff]ery and the ascendance of the Idiocracy. Many have been waiting for a firm statement record of protest and the indie punkers have beyond delivered. Pulsing, breakneck, screeching guitars are accompanied with lyric content that is direct, needed, and presciently observant. While it may not be the first record of social commentary and political backlash, it is a more-than-solid offering and hopefully the first of many.

movement in (what was then considered underground/indie/alternative) music, as a vehicle to release their own band’s albums and, eventually, records made by their friends. What was first started as seemingly nothing more than a means to an end became so much more.

Some of the most iconic, groundbreaking, and cherished independent records of the last 30 years have been released

by Merge and their artist roster. Superchunk, Archers of Loaf, The Magnetic Fields, Spoon, The Mountain Goats, Lambchop, and Dinosaur Jr. have put out timeless, classic releases on the label. In 2010, Arcade Fire released their third full-length album, “The Suburbs,” which debuted at No. 1 on a variety of charts and won Album of the Year at the 2011 Grammys. A couple days ago marked the 20th anniversary of Neutral Milk

record “SOMA,” revelling in the fuzzy, incensed atmosphere of languid riffs and frontwoman Dorthia Cottrell’s absolutely entrancing droning vocals.

Satan’s Satyrs are new on my radar, but the blending of the two bands makes a lot of sense. They up the tempo a little bit, bringing a more traditional rock ’n’ roll flavor to their side of the split, almost toeing the line between rock and punk at times. There is a lot to love here between the five tracks, especially for those who love old-school amplifier worship music. The highlight for me is the opening Windhand track, “Old Evil.”

It hits the exact level of reverbed-out psychedelia that causes me to drone out and start slowly headbanging, holding aloft crooked claws of evil, losing all self-control. This is a track that I will play for people who don’t know what doom metal is, and if they don’t get it, then I know they never will.

Hotel’s “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea.” The label’s contribution and canon is as impressive as it is undeniable.

Recommended for fans of Guided by Voices, Yo La Tengo, Pavement, Built to Spill, Sebadoh, or any of the artists listed above.

With each Merge release, I am reminded that it all essentially began with Superchunk. On their 11th proper full-length, Mac and Laura are joined by

—— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

intriguing, offering sometimes horrifying and sometimes whimsical insights into an experience that I am eternally grateful for never having to live. Punctuated by bursts of storm sounds, whistling and whispering winds, and whining

violin strings, the album paints a perfect picture of the horror found in the wrath of nature, and the beauty that can be found in the human response to such horrifying indifference.

—— Cooper Stapleton

Laurie Anderson and Kronos Quartet,“Landfall” Kronos Quartet is one of my favorite contemporary classical music groups with the eeriness and solemnity they bring to their recordings without sacrificing the simultaneous grandiosity and intimate emotions that comes with the sounds of a string quartet. “Landfall” is poet and musician Laurie Anderson’s visceral and enlightening experiences during Hurricane Sandy, mostly presented as spoken word with the classical backdrop. If you aren’t into the poetry aspect then you will probably find this record unfulfilling, but I found it entirely compelling. The stories are

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[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Smuttynose auction seems like a potential steal. Or is it?

O

ne of the really hard-hitting pieces of beer news in the last few weeks was the announcement that Smuttynose Brewing, a 24-year-old brewery in Hampton, New Hampshire, will be sold at auction. The news hits hard for Northeasterners especially because this was one of the breweries that first introduced a lot of people to craft beer. It’s also heartbreaking because the brewery could not find an investor or buyer so the auction is the last resort.

Without getting into the nitty gritty, it sounds like it would be a good deal: A solid, trusted brand with history (now it’s some pretty damaged goods),

decent revenue at $10 million a year (though for a brewery of this size, that’s kinda low), 75,000 barrels of production capacity (for comparison, it’s about double what Ska Brewing can do right now), and plenty of room to grow on site with a 14-acre plot. The brewery is also currently running at half capacity, so an outside investor could use the extra space for other brewing ventures, or grow the current brand.

This would be a smashing good deal for a small brewery on the East Coast looking to grow, an opportunity for some very rich individual to fulfill their dream of owning a brewery, or the chance for a West Coast brewery to open up a shop on the East Coast on the cheap.

I do think there are some drawbacks once you lift the curtain a little and look at the goods a little closer.

The real estate that the brewery stands on is valued at $6.9 million. The brewery operates an 85-barrel system, has 17 fermentors, and four bright beer tanks. And they have a state-ofthe-art bottling line that can bottle 300 bottles per minute.

The drawbacks: 1. Craft beer growth is happening in cans. The bottling line might be great at efficiency so it lowers packaging cost, but it’s not doing your salespeople any favors.

2. The 85-barrel system is pretty tough when it comes to agility of a brewery. That means you brew 85

barrels, which costs at least $3,000 in ingredients, and you need to know that it’s going to sell. That’s also a big investment for a potential experimental or limited-release beer. It’s a great system for efficiency, but not for creativity.

3. Most of the fermentation is also oversized. Sixteen to 17 fermentors equates to 200-plus barrels. Again, great for efficiency, not for diversity or creativity in beer making.

4. How can a business with $10 million in revenue not pay its bills on $6.9 million real estate plus equipment?

You have to also buy the company’s debts, which are probably pretty high.

Continued on Page 11

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[beer]

[travel]

From Page 10

Bisti Badlands near Farmington

5. Anyone who buys the brewery runs the risk of hurting their own brand by how they treat Smuttynose. If they shitcan everyone, the buyer will lose the local community and the craft community at large.

With all that, I wouldn’t buy Smuttynose unless I was an established brewery on the West Coast. I could move in with a few talented brewers and salespeople and start making my successful brands for new markets on the East Coast, while keeping Smuttynose in a nice, tight market where it can grow more organically. I’m really surprised that breweries like Oskar Blues, Boston Beer, and Lagunitas haven’t shown interest. Maybe we’ll see how that all rolls out at the auction.

Robbie Wendeborn is the head brewer at Svendæle Brewing in Millerton, New York. He is also a former beer plumber at Ska Brewing.

GET OUTTA TOWN Quirky & cool spots in the Four Corners and beyond You don’t have to drive all the way to the Grand Canyon to catch a glimpse of otherworldly rock formations. The Bisti Badlands, also known as the Bisti/ De-Na-Zin Wilderness, is roughly 60 square miles of Insta-perfect, sci-fi rock outcroppings just south of Farmington.

Its 45,000 acres will make you feel like you’re on Mars, or in some sort of photographer’s heaven. You ain’t gonna leave the place, especially at a twilight hour with the sun-streaking stone and shadows long-grown, without the awe of the earth singing through your bones.

It’s odd to think it, but the Bisti Badlands, millennia ago, used to be swamplands. Rock formations are made of sandstone, shale, mudstone, coal, and silt. Bisti, in Navajo, means “a large area of shale hills” and De-Na-Zin translates as “cranes” – because so many of the

Wikipedia

formations are winged shapes.

Be cautious, though, hopping through the rocks. There aren’t any facilities in this wilderness or any marked trails.

Along with snacks and water, bring your GPS and preferably a compass because you will be out in the middle of f-all

nowhere with no one to wander by to help you if you get lost. Don’t die getting your nature on. #Adventure For more details, hit up https://farmingtonnm.org/listings/bisti-de-na-zinwilderness.

—— Patty Templeotn

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[jobs]

»» Talking

to Richard Carpenter of UltraSteam about everything you never imagined about crime scene, trauma, and biohazard scene cleanup

W

hen the Grim Reaper plows through your quiet abode and snatches your best pal or grandma, what happens next? What if everyone thought Aunt Becky was on vacay but really she fell down the stairs and is just now being found? There’s a smell. There’s blood. There’s more sprucing up to do than a body’s exit. Maybe nobody died, but your psycho ex shot you in City Market’s parking lot Carpenter and you gushed red gore in your rust-bucket Buick driving to the hospital. Do you clean that? Can you clean that? Is there a right way to get rid of pooling fluids and biomatter?

There is, in fact, a correct way to tidy a scene of death or violence, and if you don’t use a professional, you could be knee-deep in health risks and not know it. UltraSteam Professional Cleaning & Restoration Services is a locally-owned company that, in addition to assisting with everyday issues like mold remediation, fire and water damage, and carpet cleaning, is certified in biohazard cleanup. That means UltraSteam can safely erase incidents of murder, suicide, natural death, and accidents that involve biological fluids.

DGO spoke to Richard Carpenter, owner of UltraSteam about compartmentalizing, compassion, and what it’s like to work in biohazard/trauma/crime scene cleanup.

Is trauma cleaning common in Durango?

Fortunately, trauma and biohazard cleanup is not something I can make a living at in Durango. It is just one of the services we offer.

Is trauma cleaning only crime scene-related?

I’ve seen the full gamut of situations. It’s not always a crime.

I think people might think we only deal with gruesome crime scenes.

That’s the exception not the norm around here. Very seldom is it a murder scene. Suicide, I’ve seen quite a few times, but more likely it is accidental or natural, or maybe not even a death.

I’ve seen everything from people who’ve accidentally shot themselves because they were cleaning their gun to people who died naturally and didn’t get found. Or I’ve had several encounters where someone inadvertently hurt themselves at home and their family calls and says, “Oh, hey, Grandpa bled all over the house. He’s fine, but can you come and clean it?”

What assumptions do people make about cleaning up after trauma or crime?

People assume that the family

cleans everything up. The family should not have to clean these things up.

I think sometimes people assume that you can clean more stuff than you can. Like carpet after a severe incident, for instance. You have to cut the carpet pad out and get rid of it.

You may or may not be able to clean the subfloor depending on what it’s made of and how long it has been penetrated.

I watched a movie one time where they steam-cleaned the couch and all the blood came out. That’s not how that would go in real life.

Is there a type of scene you won’t clean?

No, I compartmentalize. This type of work isn’t for everyone. I can set “me” aside and focus on the specifics of the task. This is a job that has to be done. Better that I do it than the friends or family having to.

Is it strange for family or friends to be at the house while you are cleaning?

Not really. There’s times when I wind up giving people a hug, as weird as that may sound, depending on the Continued on Page 14

‘This type of work isn’t for everyone.’

Patty Templeton/DGO photos

»» ABOVE: Richard Carpenter of Ultrasteam Professional Cleaning & Restoration Services Inc. situates his trauma/biohazard cleanup garb. RIGHT: Mask used in trauma/biohazard cleanup; trauma/biohazard cleanup bin; Carpenter takes trauma/biohazard gloves off slowly so they come off inside-out to better contain any fluids that might be on them.

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[jobs] From Page 13

situation, especially if there’s not somebody else to do that for them at that moment.

If it is OK to ask, what is the worst thing you’ve seen?

I got called up one night by a landlord. He said, “The cops called me and apparently there’s been a murder-suicide at my house.” It was a couple in their 70s in a very nice house. The husband had killed the wife in the kitchen and then walked out onto the porch, smoked a last cigarette, and killed himself.

What about the smell?

Some of my guys can do this. Some can’t. Some will on a limited basis, like if I need three people then there’s one I know who is happy to go with me, there’s another if I really need someone, and there’s a few more that will do the cleanup after the initial work is done.

The respirators have carbon vapor filters so that abates the smell a lot.

The air scrubbers that we ventilate the area with also have carbon vapor filters. If there is an odor issue, we have hydroxyl machines that help to kill that.

A friend of mine in the industry once said that there’s a certain number of these you can do in your lifetime before you have to stop. Everyone has a number. For some people, it’s one.

Some people it may be 10,000, but at some point, you reach I’m-done-now.

The other one that sticks out – I had a really good friend in Aztec. Her son and his girlfriend were shot at. One of the son’s friends from once-upon-atime-ago came to their trailer and tried to shoot them through the windows.

He didn’t hit the son but did hit the girlfriend. She survived and was ultimately fine. I went and cleaned that up, but that was a little close to home for me because I knew them.

Is there rhyme or reason to

who can do this kind of job?

You don’t get used to the smell. It is what it is, but you may smell it a bit when you first get there and then you plastic-off the doorway and put on

your own mask, and the mask takes care of it almost completely. Once you’ve got the air scrubber set up to bring fresh air into the area you’re usually not smelling it anymore at all.

What about smell after you leave?

Let’s say somebody died in the bedroom and no one else was home.

If they didn’t find that person for a Continued on Page 15

Do you think you are close to reaching your number?

No. I think it would be different if I was doing this every single day. The cup would be filling faster if this was a big city and it was all I did for a living.

How long does a cleanup take?

It depends on what the situation is.

I’ve been done in a day and I’ve had some that take three, four, five days with multiple people cleaning the site.

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»» Richard Carpenter of Ultrasteam Professional Cleaning & Restoration Services Inc.

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[jobs] From Page 14

week, the whole house may need to be cleaned. We may need to come in and wash down walls, clean all the carpets, remove the draperies, and put hydroxyl machines in the rest of the house to deodorize it in the same way that we would for a fire job to get rid of soot and the burnt smell. Every job is different. Sometimes a smell is confined, sometimes odor or other material is tracked into different parts of the location, extending the cleanup scene.

What happens to waste from a trauma/biohazard scene?

I don’t know if you’ve ever watched “Sunshine Cleaning,” but there’s a scene where they haul a mattress outside to a dumpster. That happens in real life a lot more than it is supposed to. If you have an affected mattress, for example, you cut it into small, manageable pieces and pack the pieces into biohazard boxes. The waste has to go into tubs that get transported to Denver for incineration.

You can’t lay it outside, douse it with gasoline, and light a match. It’s a public health hazard. You cannot put it in the dumpster or haul it to the landfill. People do it but you aren’t supposed to. If you throw it in the landfill, it’s a hazard to the people working there. If they’re moving that trash around and the bag breaks open, it’s the same as standing in the original room but worse because the bacteria has multiplied and they have less safety equipment.

What hazards come with working around blood?

There’s a lot of viruses that can survive in dried blood for quite a while. If blood is dry on carpet and you abrade it or step on it and it gets in the air and you breathe it in, it can reconstitute in your own body. That other person’s blood is in your body and whatever bacteria or viruses were in them are now in you.

Has there ever been a personal object at a scene that made it hard for you to compartmentalize and clean?

A pair of eyeglasses on the floor laying in blood ... It was a car accident where the driver was a lady who died and her fiancé and child survived. She went head-on into a truck ... The cops found that the car behind her had been texting until the moment of impact which had shoved the victim’s vehicle

into the back of a truck. Her glasses were on the floor. There were random notes and receipts ... That one was hard.

Is there a part of this cleaning service that people might find surprising?

There are occasions of violent death, like a suicide or a murder, where sometimes the police haven’t yet recovered a bullet before I get there. Part of my job is to follow any possible piece of the trail to clean. A bullet would have biomatter on it and would need to be removed and the area cleaned.

If there is a hole in the drywall or ceiling, I have to follow the bullet trail to its conclusion. If the trail goes into a ceiling and the attic above, I would have to go into that attic and start looking for where the bullet ended up. I would probably try to cut out a small piece of the drywall around the bullet hole and to try and find it. Did it get caught in the insulation? Did it go through the insulation and lodge into a rafter?

I came to one scene where the sheriff mentioned that they had not recovered all the bullets. As I started cleaning, I found one. I stopped, called law enforcement, waited for them, showed them the bullet, and let them bag it up and take it away. Then they searched again and left. I continued working and found another. They came back out and dealt with it.

Is trauma/biohazard/crime scene cleanup expensive?

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Normally, this service is covered by your homeowners or car insurance and if it’s not, then a payment structure could be worked out.

I could be flippant and say Jameson, but that’s not true. For me, a lot of letting go is connecting to nature and animals. I have three dogs and two cats. That is my decompression. Living in Durango and getting out, even if only to my backyard, is my decompression.

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How the heck do you come down from a hard day at work?

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[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

If you haven’t tried vaping, you’re missing out

V

aping: It’s pretty sweet. I mean, I could see how you could be made to feel weird feelings when confronted with the thing that you called from the ether by typing “crazy vape dragon maniac” (I was just going to type “crazy vape dragon man” but Google suggested “maniac” so I, feeling kind of wild, went with it), but we are not, probably, here to talk about vaping videos, especially because those deal mostly with nicotine vapes, and I think we are just better off not going too far down that road; spoiler alert: it ends in 2015.

Weed vaping, however, is worth discussion.

It supports good, healthy practices, and many machines deliver an adjustable dose so you can feel free to set it to microdose or to get lit. There is a stealth element about it; if you spent your years before (and since) legalization ducking out and keeping steady high, the vape – short for vaporizer – can become a formidable weapon in the hands of a skilled ninja like you.

Today’s handheld vaporizers, little cylindrical or rectangular units, and “pens” (which they often vaguely look like) are the descendants of the old-school table-top Volcano-style – a bagful of smokeless THC, a true-melt-your-face-andask-for-more situation. My first time using a table vaporizer evokes memories of very numb cheeks and a type of circular laughing among my broth-

er, his brother-in-law, and myself, that somehow approached Australian aboriginal music in its circular, echoic resonance. It was pretty deep. I had been high a few thousand times before, but this was an entirely different classification of altered and I instantly appreciated it.

There is a wide range of features currently available in portable vapes – things like the ability to be used with dried flower and a wide range of oils and, now, distillates, You can find a range of temperature settings to ensure the heat-induced release of specific cannabanoids, the ability to modulate air flow to allow for anything from a sip through a tiny straw to a true head opener.

The fancy ones can run in the $200 to $300 neighborhood. Basic disposables (which have a decent lifetime) that can be as easy to operate as putting it to your lips and inhaling can be had for 40 or 50 bucks.

Back to that high for a minute – shall we agree to call it “subtle but powerful”? This is the clearheaded high that can really be enjoyed to make whatever endeavors that accompany it, be they

in the pursuit of labor or pleasure, enjoyable to the Nth degree; small warning: This may be the device that brings your cannabanoid ingestion to the next level. Now, I see that as a good thing; I’ll leave you to your own decisions.

And back to that stealthiness: The beauty of the cannabis vaporizer, in any and all of its permutations, is its complete absence of smoke.

Smoke can be problematic for a variety of reasons, especially to someone with medical sensitivity. It is also strictly verboten in many social settings, especially those outside private property. The vape delivers a hit made entirely of plant material without any combustion and you exhale little more than a wisp and a whisper. This can happen in bathrooms, theaters, balconies, stairwells, and all other range of spaces with almost none of the angst that can accompany putting lighter to bud. Give it a go, DGO. Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

»» O.pen vape makes the portable, reusable, rechargeable o.pen for oil concentrates, and go.pen for wax, shatter, rosin, and other more solid concentrates.

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[pages]

[Odd Rot, by Patty Templeton]

A Durango necessity: Living big but on the cheap Passing through Grubb, is a super little Durango in 2000, I deguide designed to help cided I couldn’t leave; you suck the marrow I’d been searching out of life and pay the for home and found piper, too. No doubt it. A guy warned me you’ve already tried shortly after arriving some of the included that Durango is a “two tips, but there are dog, three job town.” still plenty that will Sadly, I’ve seen many make you holler, “Why folks skip town since, didn’t I think of that?!”

White Rabbit reluctantly moving on, This, and it’s relayed book review: in search of cheapin the jaunty lilt of two “The Art of Frugal er rent. There are animated Aussies with endless free advenHedonism,” by a flair for language tures awaiting you in that generates grins.

Annie Raser-Rowthe mountains just There’s no better way land and Adam beyond your doorstep, to beat the winter Grubb but the cost of living blues than to pick up is daunting for many, a copy of “The Art of particularly if you’re Frugal Hedonism” and one who relies on the short tourist hatch all the ways you’ll live big on the season for squirreling away much of cheap. your yearly income.

—— Keena Kimmell “The Art of Frugal Hedonism,” by Owner of White Rabbit Books and Curiosities Annie Raser-Rowland and Adam

‘Hanging on the Telephone’ Patty Templeton believes in magic-making and dancing and having a wide open heart. Basically, she loves any damn thing that makes this world an easier place to breathe in. Say hi over by www.instagram.com/pattytempleton or http://pattytempleton.tumblr.com.

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[advice]

Life Hax | Carolyn Hax

What to do when the truth-teller can’t handle the truth?

My brother is getting married soon.

My serious, but fairly new, girlfriend thinks she’s not been invited because we’re lesbians, but actually, I’ve hidden the invite because I don’t want to take her.

Wow, doesn’t sound any better written down, huh.

Thing is, I adore almost everything about her! She’s kind, beautiful, passionate, clever ... and committed to telling the truth no matter who it upsets. If your hair is unflattering, she’ll tell you. If your husband is screwing around, she’ll tell you. If your father died badly rather than the kind fiction your family has been telling you since you were a child, she’ll let the horrible cat out of the bag – at her cousin’s wedding!

I want my family to get to know her good side better before putting her in a situation where she’s going to risk alienating people by calling Aunt Mary fat – and I might have been less than discreet about some family issues before I realized she was not a vault.

Thing is, it’s so hard to talk to her about it because she can’t budge from “truth is always best.” So, do I take her and risk everyone hating her, keep lying and risk her hating my family, or find some marvelous third option?

can’t survive a reckoning with your doubts, then it can’t survive, period.

I didn’t get an invitation to my friend’s wedding shower. I loooove showers and weddings and graduations and birthday parties. LOVE them.

I’m over the initial hurt and can rationalize that, perhaps, they limited the invites to just the wedding party and family, or my invite got lost in the mail, or my lack of invite was an oversight. (A lot of people were posting about it on social media – it didn’t seem like a small affair.)

If either of the latter two are correct, I don’t want my friend to think I ignored the invitation. Is there any way to address this? I don’t want to make her feel guilty or bad. I’ve been helping her with some wedding things, I was one of the first she told she was engaged, I’m invited to the wedding, etc. – it really seems like I would have been invited. I just had lunch with her, and she talked about the shower but didn’t ask me why I didn’t come.

For what it’s worth, her sister was in charge, and it was a bit of a disaster due to lack of planning, the sister’s martyrdom, and more. It’s entirely possible I was overlooked by mistake.

What can I do?

Uninvited

Some Secrets Are Good!

Um. Do you see it? That you’re trying to withhold the truth that her truth-telling is too much?

She insists on bluntness, so give it to her. “I don’t want to bring you because you don’t have a filter. I’m mostly fine with that, but not at a wedding when my family is meeting you for the first time.”

Let her see what “committed to telling the truth no matter who it upsets” feels like on the receiving end.

Plus, tiptoeing around this trait of hers, and your discomfort with it, is the road to relationship hell. If your pairing

“I just had lunch with her, and she talked about the shower” – ayyy. That was your best opportunity to mention it, because having the other person bring it up for you is always the best opportunity – it spares you the awkward jumping-in. The wording didn’t have to be elegant: “I’m just going to be blunt, because it’s weighing on me – you’re talking about the shower as if I were part of it, but I wasn’t invited.

Was that on purpose?”

You can still ask this, but you’ll either have to bring up the topic yourself or wait till she brings it up again. It gets odder and therefore more difficult as time passes, thus the missed opportunity.

But there’s really no statute of limitations on something that’s weighing on you because the weight eventually affects a friendship and therefore your friend. Just make sure you acknowledge the time you’ve let pass. “I realize it’s insane to bring this up after 30 years but humor me. It has nagged at me and at this point hearing the worst possible truth sounds better than another 30 years of not knowing what happened.”

Or, take the far less dramatic path: Just treat the sister’s disastrous party-planning skills as all the explanation you need – because they are – and say nothing.

Even if either worst-case is true, that your friend left you out on purpose or that you were supposed to be invited and your friend thinks you were a noshow: You just had a friendly lunch, so whatever either of you feels isn’t dire.

The deciding factor is really whether you can shake this off and stay on the same terms with this friend as before.

If no, then speak, and if yes, then let it go.

My in-laws live out of state, and visit about once every six to eight weeks for long weekends.

Before their most recent visit, my mother-in-law asked my husband to buy weed gummies for his sister, who is dealing with a chronic illness, because it is legal here. She plans to carry them with her on the plane back to their home state.

My mother-in-law, when asking my husband to do this, said he didn’t have to tell me if he didn’t want to.

My husband responded saying of course he was going to tell me.

I find her suggestion that her son lie to his wife offensive and divisive.

She has always been manipulative, and it has always put a strain on our relationship. I often get upset with things she says. Unlike in years past, I have recently taken the approach of letting her comments roll off my back because I don’t think she’s worth the

worry. However, I feel like this is an attack on my marriage and my family.

We don’t keep secrets, and I don’t want her to encourage our young children to keep secrets.

Am I overreacting because of our history, or is this worth addressing?

Colorado It was an attack on your marriage that your husband cleanly and swiftly put to a stop. Yay! Seriously. Yay. His simple rebuff was not merely a one-skirmish victory. It told your mother-in-law with two words – “of course” – that she’s the outlier in encouraging secrets, and it told both you and your mother-in-law that he has your back (not hers). Those both carry forward.

It also says your husband is still being transparent with you about his conversations with his mom, which is arguably the most significant point.

Nothing says more clearly that you are your husband’s priority.

Such transparency also is the biggest thing you stand to lose by reacting, again, to your mother-in-law.

At present, your husband feels he can share with you what he talks about with his mom. If you continue to behave as you did “in years past,” getting upset and feeding and feeling the strain, then at some point he might decide it’s easier just to keep this or that exchange to himself – not the right thing to do, but a common one, and much worse for your marriage than Gummygate.

Deep breaths. Deep rolling off back.

Your openness with your husband is the source of encouragement your children will witness the most.

Carolyn Hax is a syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post. She started her advice column in 1997, after five years as a copy editor and news editor in Style and none as a therapist. Email her at tellme@washpost.com.

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[happening]

DGO’s picks in and around Durango Need a laugh?

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel as a belt buckle and parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says, “Hey, what’s with the steering wheel?” Pirate says, “Yarr, it’s driving me nuts.”

Bad joke, right? Want good jokes? Hit up the Laugh Therapy open mic hosted by Allie Wolfe.

Details: Free, 18 and over, 8:01 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 15, Steaming Bean, 900 Main Ave., www.facebook.com/laughtherapydgo

Thursday Little Readers story time,

10 a.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Toddler story time, 10:30

a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. Southwest Colorado Canyons Alliance board meeting and BLM presentation,

2:30 p.m., Anasazi Heritage Center, 27501 Highway 184, Dolores, 882-5600.

Read to Rover, 3:30 p.m.,

Excursion, 7:30 a.m., $115$189, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, 479 Main Ave.

Tuesday

Pine Needle Langlauf Nordic Ski Race, 8 a.m., $15-$35,

go Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

Durango Nordic Center, on U.S. Highway 550 ½ mile north of Purgatory Resort.

“Ending Homelessness: Why We Haven’t and How We Can” forum, 8:30 a.m., La

Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave., 749-5582.

Indivisible Durango Women’s Rights Committee #MeToo march and rally,

Guitar culture up the wazoo

Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Get your classy-ass, hella-talented guitar watching done at FLC this week. This year’s International Guitar Night features gypsy jazz legend Lulo Reinhardt, Canadian contemporary Calum Graham, Polish composer Marek Pasieczny, and the award-winning Michael Chapdelaine

Tim Sullivan, 5:30 p.m., Dia-

10:30 a.m., Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, 479 Main Ave.

mond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

“Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” film, 11 a.m., $15, An-

“Religious or Spiritual: Does the Difference Matter?” discussion, 6:30 p.m., St.

imas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 799-2281.

Details: $26-$35, all ages, 7:30 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 15, FLC Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Dr., www.durangoconcerts.com

Barnabas Church, 110 W. North St., Cortez.

3D art show

Robin Davis, 7 p.m., Office Spir-

Sweet 11 Gallery will host a reception for Egg Drop Soup, a show created by a collective of 12 local artists over the course of five months.

Sculptural and canvas works can be viewed with or without 3D glasses.

International Guitar Night, 7:30 p.m., $29-$35, Fort

Note: Sweet 11 is located in the back right of the second floor.

Just be on the lookout for creative hooligans and party tunes and you’ll find it right fine.

Details: Free, all ages, 5-9 p.m., Sweet 11 Gallery, 863 ½ Main Ave., www.facebook.com/events/339712786531720

New music in Mancos Jesse Ogle of J-Calvin’s Funk Express and the iAm MUSIC Institute pairs with Sarah Pumpian to form a new duo, Space Between Shadows.

Details: Free, 21 and over, 6 p.m., Friday, Feb. 16, Mancos Brewing Co., 484 East Frontage Rd., Mancos, www.facebook.com/mancosbrewery

Naked dudes on a Sunday night BA-BOOM and BADONKADONK. These sound effects represent the hip grinding and booty bopping you’ll witness if you hit up the Girls’ Night Out strip show at the ACT. Get ready to glee-shriek at six-packs.

itorium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Kirk James, 5 p.m., Purgatory

Resort, 1 Skier Place.

Mountain Mardi Gras, 6 p.m., Greene Street, downtown Silverton, www.silvertoncolorado. com.

Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office Spiri-

Lewis College, Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

torium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Tim May and Steve Smith,

Sunday

7:30 p.m., $15, Fort Lewis College, Main Stage Theatre, 1000 Rim Drive.

Friday “Live By Living” walk along the Animas River, 10

a.m., Animas River Trail.

Caregiver Cafe, 10 a.m., Pine

Rio Grande Southern Railroad Goose No. 5 Winter Excursion, 7:30 a.m.,

$115-$189, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, 479 Main Ave. Free tax help, 1:30 p.m., Pine

River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Ukulele jam, 4 p.m., Magpies

Preschool story time, 10:30

Mountain Mardi Gras, 5:30 p.m., Greene Street, downtown Silverton, www.silvertoncolorado. com.

a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. STEAM Lab, 3:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Ski wax clinic, 5 p.m., Power-

house Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio.

Newsstand Cafe, 707 Main Ave.

Kirk James Band, 5:30 p.m.,

Kendall Mountain Ski Area, 1 Kendall Place, Silverton.

StillHouse Junkies, 5:30 p.m.,

The Durango Uke Circle is in a mood for love. Their Monday meet-up will jam out on old-time crooner songs. All levels of ukulele are welcome. A link to the songbook that’ll be used is available on their Facebook event page.

Durango Crafts Spirit, 1120 Main Ave.

“Girls Night Out the Show” ladies night event, 7 p.m.,

Chili supper and pie auction, 6 p.m., $5, Lewis-Arriola

$20-$35, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 799-2281.

Community Center, 21176 Road S, Cortez.

Monday

Leah Orlikowski, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Looking for Healing, 10 a.m., Christian Science Reading Room, 1166 East Third Ave.

Jamaican-born singer Etna will bring her contemporary reggae style to the ACT. The good vibes open with Jesse Royal.

Details: $18, $20 at doors, 18 and over, 8:45 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 21, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, www.animascitytheatre.com

Backstage, 600 Main Ave.

Saturday Rio Grande Southern Railroad Goose No. 5 Winter

erhouse Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio. Tuesday jam, 6 p.m., Steaming

Bean, 900 Main Ave. Introduction to leather working, 6 p.m., $20-$40, Pow-

erhouse Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio. Tim Sullivan, 7 p.m., Office

Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

Wednesday T(w)een Time, 4 p.m., Durango

Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. WWI French 75 Party, 5 p.m.,

El Moro Spirits and Tavern, 945 Main Ave. SMART Recovery Durango,

5:30 p.m., Suttle Street Clinic, 72 Suttle St., Suite M. Greg Ryder, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

“No Man’s Land” movie and fundraiser, 6 p.m., $15,

Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

Terry Rickard, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

“Next to Normal” musical auditions, 7 p.m., Durango Arts

Center, 802 East Second Ave., 2592606.

Jesse Royal, 9 p.m., $18-$20,

Ongoing

Uke crooning jam

Great Blue, 9:30 p.m., Balcony

Introduction to leather working, 6 p.m., $20-$40, Pow-

Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

Reggae at the ACT

Terry Rickard, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 799-2281.

Black Velvet Duo, 5:30 p.m.,

Details: Free, all ages, 6 p.m., Monday, Feb. 19, Four Leaves Winery, 528 Main Ave., www.facebook.com/rockymountainukefest

Baby story time, 2 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Bluemoon Ramblers, 7 p.m.,

Details: $20 general admission, $28 doors, $35 VIP with premium seating, autograph, and meet and greet, 21 and over, 7 p.m., Sunday, Feb. 18, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, www.animascitytheatre.com

Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

“Art and Ideas” art history lecture series, 10 a.m., Duran-

Joel Racheff, 7 p.m., Office

Joel Racheff, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Rob Webster, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

“The Shape Of Water” exhibit by artist Julia Klema,

on display through Feb. 23 at Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www.dgomag.com, visit

www.swscene.com, click “Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form and submit. Listings at www.swscene.com will appear on www.dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www.swscene. com is free and takes one day to process.

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To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 20 | Thursday, February 15, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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Four Corners Foot & Ankle 575 Rivergate Lane, Suite 95, Durango, CO (970) 259-5303 www.4cornersfeet.com Let Dr. Kayse Lake at Four Corners Foot & Ankle provide relief from pain with custom orthotics so you can get on with your life! · Bunions · Heel pain · Arthritis of the foot · Ankle sprains · And so much more we can help with!

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To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, February 15, 2018 | 21

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Someone younger or very modern might surprise you this week. Or perhaps you might meet someone new who is youthful and cutting-edge. All in all, this is an interesting week!

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Discussions with bosses, parents and VIPs will be lively this week because everyone is full of fresh, new ideas!

Listen to what others have to say so that they will listen to you.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You might have a surprise opportunity to travel somewhere this week. If so, say “yes” quickly because this window of opportunity is brief. Bon voyage!

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

Double-check details about banking, inheritances and shared property because something unexpected will

impact these areas. Good news might be waiting for you.

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) A close friend or partner will surprise you this week. However, he or she also might introduce you to someone who is unusual, modern or a bit weird. It’s a fun week!

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Your work routine will be interrupted because of something new – perhaps the introduction of something high-tech. It also could be a new staff member.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) Expect a surprise invitation to a social event this week. If so, act quickly, because this offer is around for only so long. You snooze, you lose.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) You might see new ways to repair

something at home. You also might have an impromptu gathering at home, or someone might have exciting news! This week is unpredictable!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) This is a fast-paced, exciting week.

Expect the unexpected (which is impossible at times). You will see new places and meet new faces!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) You’re full of clever, moneymaking ideas this week. Nevertheless, keep an eye on your possessions to safeguard them. Be smart. If a financial opportunity arises, you will have to act fast.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) This week is fast-changing and exciting, which is why you have to stay on your toes in order to be ready to jump in ei-

ther direction. Either you will surprise someone, or life will surprise you!

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) This is a restless week for your sign.

You feel that the pace of everything is accelerating, but you’re not sure why.

Just go with the flow and expect the best. You have a talent for manifesting what you want.

BORN THIS WEEK You are charismatic, and people like you. You can overcome obstacles quickly. This year ushers in adventure, exciting changes and new beginnings!

It’s time to take the initiative and clarify your goals. What you begin now will unfold in the future because this is the beginning of a fresh new cycle. Your physical strength will increase this year as well. © 2018 King Features Syndicate Inc.

[it’s in the blood] It struck DGO that were a crimescene cleaner not careful with bodily fluids, they could cause the zombie apocalypse. i.e. somebody’s blood and undead-disease reconstituting in them because they were not wearing proper safety gear. SO! In honor of that, here’s a list of zombie pop culture to gnaw on.

Books “Patient Zero,” by Jonathan Maberry Joe Ledger deals with problems that even Homeland Security is like, “F it.

Let him do it.” Like zombies.

“Feed,” by Mira Grant Set in the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse, a blogger following a presidential campaign gets dragged into a living dead political conspiracy.

Movies “Dead Alive” Before Peter Jackson attacked the “Lord of the Rings,” he made a cult classic horror flick that has zombie-banging.

“Train to Busan” This badass South Korean zombie apocalypse takes place on a train and will equally give you the feels and make you squeal.

22 | Thursday, February 15, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[pics]

Hanging in Durango DGO photo contributor Lucy Schaefer was back out prowling Durango last weekend, scaring up trouble at JBo’s, Orio’s Roadhouse, a house party on Fifth Street, and private photo shoot.

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