I Was Forced to Slow Down by Ballantine Communications

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, February 22, 2018

DGO

FREE!

I WAS FORCED TO SLOW DOWN Exercise and outdoor adventure used to be my life. And then I was diagnosed with a chronic illness.

Also: A Sunday at Durangoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cowboy Church, kitchen lingo that belongs in the outside world, and five things never to say to your beertender

dgomag.com

SAVE THE DATE GRAB A BUD AND LETâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ROLL! Hosted by:

First Annual

L W A CR

Saturday, March 31st, 2018 11am - 8pm 21+ FREE EVENT!

Please join us for our inaugural Cannabis Crawl, a day-long event full of cannabis culture, education, and experiences at local dispensaries. Topping the night off with laughs at our Cannabis Comedy Show!

What fun!

Win two tickets to the Ride Festival in Telluride! Great deals off dispensary products. Q&A with cannabis experts. Free event merch for participants. Giveaways and FUN experiences. Education and awareness about cannabis.

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DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 3 Number 18 Thursday, February 22, 2018

Editor/ creative director David Holub dholub@bcimedia.com

‘Vagina Monologues’ and burlesque Lucy Schaefer was on the prowl, photographing folks doing some real empowering activities.

375-4551 Staff writer Patty Templeton ptempleton@bcimedia.com Sales

Check out the photos on Page 23 and many more at dgomag.com

Liz Demko 375-4553 Contributors

Lucy Schaefer/Special to DGO

Sean Moriarty Lucy Schaefer Cooper Stapleton Robert Alan Wendeborn Reader Services 375-4570 Chief Executive Officer Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising David Habrat V.P. of Marketing

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

Eat

Street Style

Sound

11 When I sent an old man’s car off a cliff

Lindsay Mattison

David Holub

11 Travel

Brett Massé

Amy Maestas

Love it or Hate it

10 Beer

Jon E. Lynch

Founding Editors

Album Reviews 9

Bryant Liggett

Kricket Lewis

From the Editor

Downtown Lowdown

Katie Cahill Christopher Gallagher

Durango street style “Some people, they have new technology. Every time a new gadget comes out, they spend all of this money on it. Technology is their passion. Meanwhile, I’ve had my iPhone for two or more years and a Louis bag from a resale site instead.” The style of Faith Harmon.

Tell us what you think! Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

Wanderlust 11

16 Weed

“... we encountered an old Cadillac Seville perched precariously on the opposite side of the highway with the right front wheel hovering over a cliff. Next to it was an elderly gentleman, who was laying on the side of the road, drunk as a skunk at 10 a.m. Good Samaritans that we were, we decided to stop and see if the old guy needed any help.”

17 Pages 18 Life Hax 19 Happening 20 DGO Deals 22 Horoscope/ puzzles 23 Pics

/dgomag

/dgomag @dgo_mag

ON THE COVER Katie Klingsporn is a former Arts and Entertainment editor at The Durango Herald, as well as involved with DGO in its very early days. Photo by Ben Moon

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

A SAVVY MAGAZINE FOR A SAVVY CUSTOMER.

Call Call 375-4570 375-4570 or or email email info@dgomag.com info@dgomag.com

CARRY DGO IN YOUR BUSINESS �� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 3

@dg

[CTRL-A]

[ love it or hate it ]

David Holub |DGO editor

I found the best donuts around ... and they’re not in Durango

et’s talk some more about donuts. Last month I set out on a quest to find the best donut in Durango and pitted Rendezvous, Doughworks, and City Market against one another. While each had admirable qualities in various categories (Rendezvous boasts the highest-quality ingredients, for instance, while Doughworks won on sweetness ratio and pillowy softness), do you think I was going to let my donut quest end at the Durango city limits? To remind, this quest isn’t merely about stuffing my large, rotund face with fried dough and sugar (that’s only 75 percent of it). At stake in this endeavor is my wedding party and the 10 dozen donuts we will force into the mouths of 80 of our most favorite humans in lieu of cake. So, you see, finding the perfect donut is non-negotiable and at the top of my list of priorities. Well, with ever-tightening jeans, I am happy to report that I found an all-butperfect donut. Unfortunately, they’re not in Durango. They’re not even in Colorado. They are Johnny O’s Spudnuts in Farmington. To get the nagging question out of the way, despite sounding like a dinner cereal Homer Simpson might eat, they’re called Spudnuts because they’re made out of potato flour. According to the Spudnut website, this is the reason they’re so light and fluffy. Whatever. Sounds good to me. Any donut that tastes that good could be made out of pencil shavings and I’d eat it. So where to begin with Johnny O’s? How about on the ride down from Durango. I remarked about how the hallmark of a good donut shop is a variety of filled donuts. Normally places stop at raspberry or maybe a custard in a Boston Crème. So, the first thing we see in the 10-foot wide display case at Johnny O’s is a tray of bismarks. We ask, “What are the bismarks filled with?” “Those are filled to order,” they said. “We have cherry, lemon, apple ...” She mentioned a few other flavors but my heart had already glazed itself and my brain had coated itself in chocolate, which incapacitated my eardrums. I ordered two,

cherry and lemon, and was delighted to discover that they slice the donut in half like a bun and spread the filling evenly. No more jelly glob in the middle of a filled donut that has to be rationed with every bite. Things only got better. We ordered glazed, chocolate iced, lemon iced (who woulda thought?!), maple, cinnamon sugar, and French crullers. All were so soft I tried slurping them up with a straw. The amount of sweetness was dialed in just right. They were fried to perfection. I ate them like they were potato chips. But it didn’t stop at the donuts. The place had style, from its reserved parking spot out front for law enforcement, to its spacious, modern kitchen visible from two sides thanks to a glass wall and nuevo-industrial decor, to its classy, stylishly 1950s-inspired signage and logo. And if that wasn’t enough, this donut shop has a grill that’s always open during business hours, serving burgers, hot dogs, chicken sandwiches, and fries and onion rings. Because the donuts were so good, I had no choice but to order a burger at 9 a.m. on a Saturday, which was also rather splendid. The biggest downfall of Johnny O’s? They’re closed on Sundays. C’mon! By the end of the visit, I thought everything was almost too perfect, too slick, too much of everything I ever wanted in a donut shop that doubles as a hamburger stand. The counter staff and donut makers were too friendly; the other customers even seemed to smile at us. All the while I couldn’t stop thinking about donuts and how I wanted more. I wondered if they were hiring and what would it take to relocate to Farmington, or how maybe I could open up my own franchise in Durango. And then it hit me: The fluffiness, the sweetness-to-dough ratio, the lightly fried goodness – and a burger for dessert?! Johnny O’s Spudnuts are made out of people. That’s it. Has to be. In the parking lot, I was like Charlton Heston in “Soylent Green,” screaming at the sky, “Johnny O’s Spudnuts are people! They’re people!” How else do donut dreams get this good?

Air fresheners Love It “Odors have a power of persuasion stronger than that of words, appearances, emotions, or will. The persuasive power of an odor cannot be fended off, it enters into us like breath into our lungs, it fills us up, imbues us totally. There is no remedy for it,” said Patrick Süskind in his superb historical thriller “Perfume: The Story of a Murderer.” Damn straight. A smell can lift your mood, make you feel as if you are in another country, another life. Hence why I love air fresheners. I don’t care if it’s candles on a kitchen table or clippy-doos in my car, air fresheners give me the opportunity to be awash in whatever beautiful want I am in the mood for. They’re worldbuilding and mood-shifting at its best. Fresh cotton smell on a cold winter day? How lovely! A whiff of vanilla cupcakes on a lonely afternoon? Absolutely splendid! A sniff of cinnamon cider to amp up an autumn horror movie marathon? Who wouldn’t want that? I like shifting reality in whatever ways I possibly can, and that includes the way it smells. — Patty Templeton

Hate it I mentioned to a friend once about how much I liked “new car smell,” and she said, “Why? It’s just a bunch of chemicals.” I gave her a firm “touché,” and then began wondering: If actual new car smell is just a bunch of chemicals and manufacturing going up your nose – new plastic, vinyl, foam in the seats, etc. – what exactly goes into air fresheners promising to give your car that “new car smell”? But why stop at “new car smell” when you have other chemical-laden air fresheners to choose from? The science around the dangers of certain air fresheners is mixed. The biggest potential offender is phthalates, which, according to the National Resources Defense Council could affect hormones and reproductive development. I ask, why do this? I once stayed at the home of some kin down south and the first thing I noticed were air fresheners attached to every wall set on timers to spray puffs of “clean laundry,” “citrus blast” or “cinnaspice” every 10 minutes. I kept wondering, “What does their house really smell like?” How about going for the real thing instead? I’d rather make a homemade cinnamon broom than light a candle. I’d rather have actual clean laundry than plug something into a wall. I’d rather make a cup of coffee than shoot “caramel latte” out of a can. In some sense, chemicals are almost unavoidable in our society. How much do we need to add just so things can smell unnaturally good? — David Holub

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[Something Wicked]

Patty Templeton

RED KERCHIEFS AND SIMPLE PRAYERS:

A SUNDAY AT DURANGO’S COWBOY CHURCH

ain’t church people. I used to be church people. I was raised a Southern Baptist, and then, well, life happened. The closest I get to sanctuary these days is going to rock shows, communing in the soul-warming Church of Holler and Stomp. If I narrowed my beliefs to a manageable creed it’d be, “Don’t be a dick,” or to be less sexist and flippant, “Love and be loved.” I may not be all aboard the god-train, but I’m ever up for kitsch and kindness. I got a goal to find adventure where I can and stack up conversations with fascinating folks along the way. Enter Durango’s Cowboy Church. Though they’re moving into a bigger building in the spring, currently Durango’s Cowboy Church, 2601 Junction St., is an unassuming brick building tucked away in a North Main neighborhood. Inside, instead of pews, it’s congregated with banquet tables and comfy chairs that lead to an altar lined in rough wood railing, blankets, and saddles. You’ve never seen more brightly colored kerchiefs, cordial smiles, fringe vests, string ties, bouffant hairdos, and Bibles in one spot. You don’t have to be a cowboy (or dress like one) to attend Cowboy Church, but you ain’t outta place in worn-in or dapper westernwear. Random wondering: What do you call an alluring, old cowboy? I don’t know, but hi-yo, Silver, I’d jump on your lap any day. Not that you should use Cowboy Church like Tinder, but yowza, it has some fine looking, plaid-wearing people. Maybe God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost hitched their horses in the packed parking lot, maybe not. What’s for certain is that folks give a good handshake and you’re gonna get greeted at least twice at the door and three times after you sit down. Churches always have coffee and usually doughnuts. I went searching. I found not only my pal Liz, but pastor Stan Formby’s wife, Brenda Gail. The charming and chatty Ms. Brenda Gail gave me a Durango Cowboy Church mug. I’m not saying a church

Amen to that. Service started with a full-tilt western band. We’re talking mandolin, standup bass, pedal steel, two guitars, a piano at the ready, and three side-stage singers. If you go, expect “Glory, Glory, Hallelujah,” “Oh, How I Love Jesus,” and “I’ll Fly Away/Washed in the Blood” medleys with clapping and hands up in praise. The morning followed typical church structure – music, announcements, greeting of guests, kids being excused to children’s service, an offering, scattered sincere prayers betwixt all of it, and a sermon. OK. OK. So most churches don’t have a cowboy read poetry – that definitely happened. So did Lew telling me about a marvelous, ancient broad who used to sit in my seat, but now doesn’t because she recently went to Jesus. People riffled through Bibles with crocheted plastic covers. Men took off their hats when they bowed their heads. An air of unguarded faith filled the room as did the smell of the first Sunday of the month chuckwagon dinner while Pastor Stan spoke on Lazarus rising from the dead. See, maybe Jesus wept on the occasion, not for lack of hope, but for the agony he saw in those who had loved and lost someone. This wasn’t any fire and brimstone sermon, more so a message of asking, “What rocks are in my path?” and “How can I have faith and roll that boulder away?” Patty Templeton/DGO Which, heck yes, I can get behind a dispatch of positive energy and hard work, especially automatically wins me over by giving me cool swag, since Miss Brenda Gail cracked jokes and adoringly but it certainly didn’t hurt – though I could’ve done without the enormous Scottish bull head named bickered with Pastor Stan all throughout Sunday Harry above me. (Yeah, yeah, I’m a delicate nonservice. meat-eater. I find taxidermy equal parts striking and I still ain’t church people, but I’d go to Durango’s dismal.) Cowboy Church again. Why? Free coffee. Nice peoSitting down and sippin’ java, Liz and I ended up ple. Plus, you never know what’s gonna happen. At next to a fabulous man named Lew and his lovely the end of the sermon, Pastor Stan called a couple to wife. Lew hadn’t been to church in 40 years, discovthe front. A tall older gent in a maroon shirt, black ered Cowboy Church, and now never misses a Sunvest, and black cowboy hat swaggered up with an day. Come to find out, Lew was hit by lightning a few elegant, white-haired woman in a white fringe vest. years back and counts each day since not drowning Walkin’ the line of the Cowboy Way, they got marknocked out and tingling in a ditch as a blessing. ried. Ye and haw.

�� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 5

[eat]

What the Fork | Lindsay Mattison

Kitchen lingo I wish existed in the outside world

f you’ve ever worked in a restaurant, you know that the industry speaks its own language. Really, it’s not so different from regular English (although there’s probably a lot more cursing). There are a few key phrases that make it easier to work in such a fast-paced environment. When there’s little or no time for pleasantries or politeness, you say goodbye to “please” and “thank you” and replace it with “Yes, Chef” and “heard!” To keep yourself safe, you learn to announce your presence at every moment, shouting “behind,” “hot,” or “corner” as you move through the environment. It’s abrupt but also effective, and I often wish this lingo existed out in the outside world. Wouldn’t it make the world a better place if these five phrases could only be incorporated into regular English?

Behind Why waste time with the wordy “excuse me” or “beg your pardon” when the word “behind” will suffice? This one, simple word announces your presence to prevent collisions in tight spaces. It also keeps you from getting stabbed with sharp knives or covered in boiling hot sauce, which is always a plus. In the outside world, I want to use “behind” all the time. When someone stops suddenly on the sidewalk – “Behind!” When I want to blast by someone standing idly on an escalator – “Behind!” It causes immediate action, and I like that.

Corner Unfortunately, it’s impossible to design a restaurant without all those narrow hallways and treacherous corners. That’s where “corner” comes in. When you find yourself carrying a tray of dirty dishes or a hotel pan filled with hot food, all you need to do is shout “Corner!” at the top of your lungs and you’ll be guaranteed safe passage. In the outside world, “corner”

would be extremely useful in the grocery store (especially North City Market at 5 p.m.). The end of the aisle is so congested and you have those bulky carts to consider. Instead of running into someone, wouldn’t it be nice to say “corner” as you approach so they would know to get out of your way?

the criticism-based kind) without coming off as defensive or offended. When you use “heard,” you acknowledge what the other person said without having to formulate any kind of real response. Perfect for those times you find yourself seeing red!

86’d

It’s almost impossible to stay out of the weeds on a busy weekend night or when you’re understaffed. It communicates “I’m busy, overwhelmed, have too much to do, and am frantically trying to do x, y, and z – so either help me or get out of my way.” It also gives everyone a heads up that you probably won’t meet your deadlines, so expect that order to be delayed. This phrase is a pretty easy one to use in any real-life situation where you’re struggling to stay caught up. Too many finals in one week – you’re definitely in the weeds and can’t

I’ve heard a ton of different stories for the origin of “86’d” so I won’t even try to explain how it got its name. When it refers to a menu item, it means that it’s no longer available – either you’re out of an ingredient or the entire dish, but you can’t make it anymore. It can also be used to refer to a person when you’re refusing service or ejecting someone from the building. You never really want to run out of food, so it’s always a little disappointing to 86 something, but it does convey an appropriate sense of finality. It would be nice to use the phrase anytime you don’t want to make an exception – like how I can’t meet you for pizza because I 86’d carbs from my diet (a phrase you will never, ever hear me say). Or if you wanted to break up with someone by 86’ing your relationship (so they wouldn’t beg for you back). There’s no arguing about it because it’s already done.

In the weeds

go out for drinks (although you might, anyway). Your boss expects you to multitask in an inhuman way – being in the weeds means she has to pick and choose which tasks she actually expects you to accomplish. If it meant what it did in the restaurant, everyone would understand exactly where you’re at when you use it. Lindsay D. Mattison is a professional chef and food writer living in Durango. She enjoys long walks in the woods, the simplicity of New York-style cheese pizza, and she’s completely addicted to Chapstick.

CORNER!

Heard This is by far my favorite kitchen saying. The expo tells you about an order in – “Heard.” A coworker tells you how to adjust the seasoning for a dish – “Heard.” The produce order just came in and it’s your turn to put it away – “Heard.” It means “I got it” and “I’ll get right on that” all at the same time. I pretty much want to say this everywhere, all the time. It’s the ultimate way to receive feedback (especially

David Holub/DGO

6 | Thursday, February 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

LEGAL MARIJUANA

[Durango street style]

AND TEENAGERS Feb. 28 - 5:30 p.m. Powerhouse Science Center 1333 Camino del Rio Breeah Kinsella Coalition coordinator for Celebrating Healthy Communities

Jonny Radding Managing partner at Durango Organics

Classic pieces that last forever You haven’t seen a smile until you’ve seen the elegantly curled lips of Faith Harmon. It’s the sort of resplendent expression the Greeks used to write poetry about or go to war over. Harmon is a multimedia sales rep and a fashion and lifestyle blogger at Faces with Faith. DGO chatted with Harmon about her flashy but classic style – and how the heck she gets her eyebrows so freakin’ perfect. “I’m a little bit between preppy and classic. I try to focus on having four to six pieces of clothing that might be a little bit more expensive but that can last me for a long while that I mix with my T.J. Maxx/Target looks ... A good pair of jeans will get you everywhere. I have a couple pairs of jeans that people might cringe if they knew the price, but I’ve had them for three years and they look new.

Join speakers Breeah Kinsella, the coalition coordinator for Celebrating Healthy Communities where she engages the community in conversations about youth substance abuse and promoting healthy lifestyles; and Jonny Radding, the managing partner at Durango Organics, who will discuss how Durango Organics started as a medical dispensary and how the business works to keep marijuana out of the hands of minors.

I’m all about grays and whites. I think it’s because I read that when you go somewhere, most people wear black, so if you want to stand out, wear a different color. I try really hard to not have black in my closet for dresses or statement pieces. I love bags. I’ve been obsessed with Louis Vuitton since – not kidding – seventh grade. I think it’s because my mom and grandma both had one. When I graduated high school, I took all my graduation money and drove to Dallas – I’m from Norman, Oklahoma – and bought my first Louis bag when I was 18 ... Some people, they have new technology. Every time a new gadget comes out, they spend all of this money on it. Technology is their passion. Meanwhile, I’ve had my iPhone for two or more years and a Louis bag from a resale site instead ... I love all of the pieces that go into a Louis Vuitton bag. It’s more than one designer, it’s a team, it’s why they made it, it’s the history of the house, it’s function. It will last. And girl, if you only knew how long these eyebrows took. This has been going on since fourth grade. (Laughs) When I was in fourth grade, I had a unibrow – a really bad one. My mom was like, ‘I don’t know if this is child abuse, but ... ’ and she took me to get my eyebrows waxed because she knew when I got a little bit older, people would start to make fun of me for it. We only stripped about four hairs in the middle. It turned into a mini-unibrow. It has been a long evolution. (Laughs)

BIS A NN CA 101 ~ ~ Sponsored by:

Durang

Diaries

Presented By:

durangoherald.com/durangodiaries

Interview edited and condensed for clarity. —— Patty Templeton

FREE. Teen-friendly. Beer and wine available for purchase.

�� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 7

[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Southwest Music Festival to get psychedelic with Monophonics

nalog never went away. Some musicians may tout their straightto-tape recording as old-school and music retailers and vinyl collectors may speak highly of the “vinyl resurgence” but for a band like San Francisco’s Monophonics, analog recording and LPs haven’t taken a backseat to anything. Monophonics will perform Saturday, Feb. 24, as part of the Southwest Music Festival, a two-day event featuring numerous bands at the Animas City Theatre. Their newest release “Mirrors,” is an EP of classic covers, giving a dose of guitar fuzz and a laid back R&B vibe to AM Gold treasures. It’s equally old-school and fresh as next week, recorded analog, which is the only way they know. “I don’t even like to refer to it as an old way – it’s a good way,” said keyboard player and vocalist Kelly Finnigan. “There isn’t a right way or a wrong way, there’s the best way for you. For us, we like being in a room together, playing together, and recording to tape live.” The San Francisco band falls somewhere into the world of the tripped-out funk music that was being made in the early to mid-’70s. It was music that was too much rock for funk and R&B purists, and too funky for rock fans. Monophonics is drawing on the psychedelic, fuzzedout guitars reminiscent of San Francisco and the Summer of Love and merging that with the raw-groove of a Blaxploitation film. It may fit into the funk package, but peel back the layers and what’s revealed are sounds that owe as much to the Jimi Hendrix as they do George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic. It’s like Owsley Stanley showed up at The Apollo Theatre with a gift for everyone backstage. “We refer to ourselves as a psychedelic-soul band. Our sound is rooted in soul music, and of course soul and funk go hand in hand,” said Finnigan.

Courtesy of Monophonics

Bryant’s Best Friday: The Main Squeeze, Durango Funk All Stars, DJ Mateo, Oblee. 8:30 p.m. $25. Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. Information: 799-2281. Saturday: Monophonics, Niceness, DJ Codestar, Jade Robbins, 8:30 p.m. $25. Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. Information: 799-2281. “But we really also like to have a raw, psychedelic rock edge to our sound. It leans toward that late ’60s or early ’70s sound like Sly and the Family Stone. “So a lot of people hear that and say, ‘That’s funk’ and yeah, but it’s not quite that simple,” he added.

“People want to call us a funk band; I’m not going to fight it. As long as people like us and enjoy the music they can call us whatever they want.” Now in its third year, The Southwest Music Festival serves as a major fundraiser for local music school Stillwater Foundation. Saturday’s show, in addition to Monophonics, will feature Niceness, DJ Codestar, and Jade Robbins. Friday night will feature Oblee, DJ Mateo, Durango Funk Allstars, and The Main Squeeze. The event is organized by local drummer Aaron Lombardo of Sky Pilot and the Durango Funk Allstars. Lombardo is not a concert promoter, nor does he see himself as a major event organizer. He’s dabbled in some fundraising here and there, but would rather be

behind a drum set than a desk when it comes to participating in a music festival. “I think it’s such a cool program,” Lombardo said of Stillwater. “I just think they give so much to the community (that) I feel like I should take it upon myself to give to them.” Supporting a music school and the encouragement of art also fits into the mindset and mission of a band like Monophonics. “We’re all about that – art for young people,” said Finnigan. “Music, painting, drawing poetry, dance, whatever it is, self-expression is a very important thing.” Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

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[sound] What’s new Young Jesus,“Young Jesus” Available: Friday, Feb. 23, via Saddle Creek Records as an MP3, cassette tape, compact disc, and on (presumably) standard black vinyl LP. Preorder the record direct from the label for a limited-edition green/blue/white tri-colored vinyl version. Be a champion and pick up whichever physical format you prefer from your favorite local independent record store. You know, it’s somewhat interesting that last week I wrote in large part about Durham, North Carolina-based Merge Records. Interesting because this week’s album is also, similarly, defined to me by the label releasing the physical record. Saddle Creek Records is the

New at

Feb. 23 Fever Ray,“Plunge” Now this is one that my household and I have been waiting for for a long time. As a huge fan of The Knife and the first Fever Ray album, I was ecstatic to hear that Karin Dreijer was returning for a second solo effort. My girlfriend and I sing the words to “If I Had A Heart” to each other all the time, and this new album isn’t quite as moody as the first record was, but it is certainly just as immersive. Dreijer’s voice ebbs and flows like receding and refreezing glaciers, pitch-shifted not to sound unnatural, but to sound supernatural. The record is powerfully sexual and alarmingly political, merging those two themes into one as much of the world’s political discourse does the same. “This country makes it hard to f---” indeed. The record is a pupa that emerges from the cocoon at the end of “Mama’s Hand,” the final track where most of the ambiguity is stripped away, leaving Dreijer’s unaltered voice and some tribal staccato drum rhythms talking about “the final puzzle piece/a little thing called love.” King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard,“Polygondwanaland” Originally released as a free download

label from my hometown of Omaha, Nebraska, and, like Merge, has built on a certain sonic and DIY aesthetic while putting out independent records from bands such as Cursive, Bright Eyes, The Faint, Big Thief, and Hop Along. I have discussed this in previous reviews, but there is a commonality with record labels like the two mentioned above and Dischord in Washington D.C. or Touch & Go in Chicago, Matador in New York, or Secretly Canadian, or K Records, or Drag City, or SST, or Kill Rock Stars and that, for me, is trust. I have trusted these labels (with varying degrees of success, sure) since I began buying records as a pre-teen. I gave the Young Jesus a spin based solely on their record label. Old fashioned, maybe, but it has worked for me

in mid-November 2017, the Australian modern prog weirdos in King Gizzard finally bring one of their latest releases to the physical world this week. The opening opus “Crumbling Castle” is as apt an opening as any, introducing with a slow riff build over syncopated drum rhythms and warm, weird synthesizer lines. This track might be one of the strongest offerings in their history, though I am admittedly not a superfan of theirs. Like many great prog epics, the beginning and the end are the big ticket items here: The tracks in between are fine, but end up serving as little tasters between the two best tracks of the record. The last minute of the album is an absolute eruption of stoner rock glory that kicks into high gear, sounding like material one would expect from, say, Queens of the Stone Age.

shoegaze bands. I bet at least one or more of the four band members hate the genre identifier shoegaze, just as I do. There are sweeping crescendos of art-noise and post-rock. I hear a little Antony Hegarty in the vocal stylings, along with lush instrumentation and ambient found sounds. The self-titled record from Young Jesus takes many disparate styles I dig in music to make one solid offering that I’ll likely return to many times over. for years and years and has done so yet again. I know nothing about the band other than being from Los Angeles and they probably have relatively similar taste in music as I do. I hear huge builds of guitar squalls not unlike my favorite

“Burial Ground,” employs some of the death metal groove and slows it down into a sludgey style reminiscent of bands like EYEHATEGOD that gives the record just enough variation to

Recommended for fans of Slint, My Bloody Valentine, Built to Spill, Yo La Tengo, Guided by Voices, Slowdive, or what used to simply be referred to as indie or independent rock. —— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

not be too repetitive, but doesn’t shake up the formula enough to forget what lies at the bloody black heart of “Misery Rites.” —— Cooper Stapleton

Wake,“Misery Rites” There is no music as aggressive as grindcore – two-minute sonic assaults that pierce your eardrums with misanthropic barrages of the ugly side of humanity. I love grindcore. Canadian grindcore band Wake has unleashed a wonderful portrait of hideousness with their second album, “Misery Rites.” Opening with a foreboding and atmospheric track that creeps up your spine, they do their best to prepare you for what is to come. What follows is 23 minutes that will absolutely blow by as you are busy speeding along in your car and headbanging to the groove-filled grind. The final track,

�� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 9

[beer] Beer and Loathing in Durango Sean Moriarty

Five things you should never say to your beertender

e are lucky enough to be living in a time when beer quality and variety are at an all-time high. New breweries big and small are popping up all over the country and the ones that have been around for a while are thriving. Despite the growth and solidification of craft beer as a culture worldwide, much of the general public has yet to learn the proper etiquette. Now, I know that sentence may sound douchey, but please hear me out! I am not suggesting that everyone should be able to identify which hops were used in a brew just by tasting it or learn all of the highfalutin lingo used by long-bearded beer snobs

wearing Warby Parkers and piano key suspenders. I just want to pass along some tips to brewery visitors that will ensure you get the best service, have the best experience, and don’t unintentionally embarrass yourself. I served craft beer to the thirsty masses for over 10 years, so trust me when I say that the following five things should never be said to your beertender. 1. What do you have that tastes like Bud Light? Your beertender has heard this question a million times and each time it takes a piece of their soul. They will likely smile and try to lead in you into the direction of one of their lighter offerings, but the short and honest answer to this ques-

tion is always “nothing.” The brewery or craft beer bar that you just sauntered into doesn’t have anything that tastes like donkey piss, so please avoid any questions like this at all costs. 2. Don’t give me anything with hops in it. I hate the taste of hops. We get it. You don’t like hoppy beers. Unfortunately, though, every beer has hops in it. In fact, if it doesn’t have hops in it, it’s not technically beer. Try reframing your question to let your beertender know that you don’t like too much hops or that you’d like a beer that is “malt forward.” 3. What’s your cheapest beer? This doesn’t just go for beer – this goes for every drink at a restaurant or bar.

The moment you ask for the cheapest anything, you’ve essentially said, “I’m not the tipping type so please feel free to ignore me in favor of other customers.” Finding out the best deal on drinks is smart and thrifty, but announcing it to a bartender will surely guarantee a long wait. Ask your friends, other bar patrons, or even visit the bar/restaurant’s website to see what deals are to be had so you don’t get ignored. 4. Whistling/snapping/yelling “Hey Barkeep!” If you’re a decent human with a soul, this doesn’t apply to you. For the rest of you, please remember that an actual human being with feelings is pouring your beer. They are not animals. Though you may not know it

10 | Thursday, February 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[travel] now, treating them like a faceless servant is guaranteed to leave you waiting a long time for a refill, or, in very rare cases, an extra special gift in your drink that may or may not induce illness. 5. Which of your beers has the most alcohol? You’ve just painted a target on your back for beertenders, management, and/or bouncers. The staff will be keeping a close eye on you to make sure your turnt ass doesn’t make a scene. Most craft beer bars and breweries have chalk boards or menus that list the ABV (alcohol by volume) of their beers, so there’s no reason to let everyone know you’re a lush. If you don’t want eagle eyes on you all night, avoid this question at all costs. Sean Moriarty has been drinking craft beer since before he was legally allowed to. He managed and bartended at Steamworks Brewing Co. from 2007-2017 and currently manages their digital marketing.

That time I sent an old man’s car off a cliff WANDERLUST

Travel stories worth telling

A few years back, a buddy and I decided to take a road trip form Taos down to Santa Fe to get some sushi. We were traveling just south of Velarde, when we encountered an old Cadillac Seville perched precariously on the opposite side of the highway with the right front wheel hovering over a cliff. Next to it was an elderly gentleman, who was laying on the side of the road, drunk as a skunk at 10 a.m. Good Samaritans that we were, we decided to stop and see if the old guy needed any help. His car was still running and in neutral, so I thought I would put it in reverse and see if I could keep it from going over the cliff. Bad idea. Just as I tried to move the

automatic shifter from neutral to reverse, it jolted the vehicle and started to tip over the cliff. I stepped out of the vehicle and tried as hard as I could to hold on to it with my bare hands and keep it from going over. My buddy was laughing his ass off, and said he saw fingernail scratch marks I had left on the trunk of the car as it dropped over the abyss.

yard down below. When the cops got there, they took our names and phone numbers, and hauled the old guy off.

I thought that was it, until I got a phone call from the police that night. I thought, ”Oh shit, they were going to arrest me for messing with Speegle the old guy’s car!” But what they asked me was a surprise. The two guys that came out The old guy was cussing at me and of the house as the Caddy rolled into the yelling he was going to kill me! The front yard, had been robbing the house! Cadillac dropped over the 60-foot emThey must have wondered what the bankment and we watched helplessly as hell was going on with an unmanned car it went straight down, then suddenly hit rolling on to the yard, just as they were a road at the bottom of the hill and took leaving the scene of the crime. We gave an abrupt 90 degree left turn. It rolled the cops a description of their truck and slowly up a driveway and ended up in they eventually got caught and charged the front yard of an old adobe house. with burglary. To this day, they must wonder who was the invisible driver of The strange thing that happened the Caddy that turned them in! next was two guys strolled out of the house, and without even looking at the vehicle that just rolled into their front yard (with nobody in it), nonchalantly got in their pick-up and drove away. My buddy called the police to come get the old drunk guy on the side of the road and retrieve his vehicle from the

—— Richard Speegle Got a travel story worth telling? Write it in about 400 words and send it to editor@ dgomag.com. If you’d rather tell your story, send a brief synopsis to the same address. Either way, your story should be true.

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�� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 11

Bagging 14’ers, carving mountains, tearing up trails, and hot yoga used to be my life. Then a chronic illness changed how I walk through the world By Katie Klingspor n SPECIAL TO DGO

SLOWING

DOWN IN A HARD-CHARGING

Courtesy of Katie Klingsporn

»» Katie Klingsporn buzzing around Telluride, no time to stop.

MOUNTAIN TOWN

12 | Thursday, February 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

he culture of a mountain town often mirrors the scenery. Just as the mountains are steep, ambitious and exacting, so too are the denizens’ expectations for work and play. The standard for a productive day normally goes something like this: Work your butt off, get outside to do something epically rad, and finish the day with a beer in hand. The culture runs strong in southwest Colorado, where the ski runs are thigh-burning, the hiking trails shoot uphill, the festivals are bacchanals of drinking and music, and mountain biking tracks are high-consequence. Even the yoga classes, with names like “lava flow,” are hard-core. Nothing here feels halfway or easy, the daily routines of locals included. It’s common to hear about friends skiing laps before sliding into their desks at work and rounding out the day with Crossfit; linking up a backcountry tour in the morning and a desert ride in the afternoon; spending weekends bagging 14’ers, doing horribly difficult bike rides, going on enormous trail runs. Just writing about it makes me tired. I was once happily conscripted to this culture. I moved to my first mountain town at the age of 24 to write for the local paper, and was a geyser of energy. I spent the next nine years working like crazy and playing even harder. At the height of my work-hardplay-hard-sleep-when-you-die-bitches phase, I stuffed my days with early morning bike rides, deadline writing, snowboarding laps, copy-editing until my eyes were crossed, hot yoga classes, and the gamut of social events. I ate breakfast and lunch mindlessly at my desk, and often spent the hours of 9 to 11 p.m. working on my laptop at home. Seven hours of sleep was about my max. I considered idleness an enormous waste. When my then-boyfriend tried to get me to sleep in on a Sunday, I would scoff. Too much to do!! Daylight’s a burning! Let’s go! I relished the bone-tired feeling at the end of a day that entailed an epic adventure, and would map out to-do lists

Courtesy of Katie Klingsporn

»» These days, Katie Klingsporn has mainly traded the epic taxing adventures of her 20s with hikes with her husband and dog.

that today seem downright masochistic. I accomplished all of this largely by ignoring my tired legs, zapped brain, and the faint voice telling me to stop for a second. I pushed through fatigue, and rarely allowed myself to just sit on a bench in the sun, to sleep until I felt rested, or just relax. I rushed through conversations and whizzed around town on my cruiser bike. I burned and burned. And then one day in March 2015, life imploded. What began as a strange tingling on my Continued on Page 14

�� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 13

Courtesy of Katie Klingsporn

»» Katie Klingsporn the final push to Black Hawk Pass before her diagnosis. From Page 13

side spread into a numbness that wrapped around my torso. My hands and feet went dead, and an electric buzzing began dancing up and down my limbs. Having tumbled hard on the ski mountain days earlier, I feared a spinal injury. One emergency room visit, a spinal tap, and three MRIs later, I sat in a doctor’s lounge as a neurologist showed me several white smudges on MRI images of my spinal cord and brain. Lesions. “You have MS,” he told me. I was 33. The diagnosis knocked me on my face. It wasn’t just the shock of an incurable neurological condition or the uncertainty that I could end up in a wheelchair. It was also the terrifying daily symptoms of the flare-up, which felt akin to a bad acid trip. It was like a tremendous electric jolt had fried my system, and all the messages were scrambled. My hands no longer recognized the soft fur of a cat, the smoothness of a marble counter, the heat of tap

water. When I dropped my chin, a surge of buzzing would roar up my spine. And still, I couldn’t feel my mid-section. Soon my hands grew stiff and stopped working; it became painful to peel garlic, tie my shoes, or type (a terrible blow for a writer). I became sensitive to heat, social stimulation, and, it seemed, to everything. But this isn’t about what happened during that flare-up. It’s about what happened after. In the wake of the diagnosis, I was left bobbing in a sea of question marks. Will I get better? Should I take scary drugs? Can I work like I did before? Will I be able to pay those medical bills? Will I ever be normal again? At first, the answer to that final question seemed to lean toward no. Without functioning hands, riding bikes was out of the question. Nervous that the fall had somehow contributed to the flare-up, my snowboarding season was over. A tight constriction around my mid-section – known as the “MS hug” – made rigorous exercise feel uncomfortable. Because

heat exacerbates symptoms, hot yoga was a no-go. And a busy day at work – the kind that used to be par for the course – left me utterly depleted. Fate had me in a tricky spot: A type-A achiever forced to slow down. I had no other option, I simply couldn’t do like I used to. So I started from zero. I began to take walks. A word that would have been used disparagingly in my former life. Boooring. Now though, it was the best I could do. I walked along the river path, or up the road to the abandoned mine at the terminus of the box canyon. One, two, three miles at a time. After that, I started going back to yoga, but only gentle classes that I would have considered a waste of time before. I started meditating and went to bed at the prudish hour of 9 p.m. I whittled my lists down to a few things I knew I could accomplish. I stopped working when I felt tired. And I settled on a new mantra: “Do less.” Continued on Page 15

14 | Thursday, February 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

From Page 14

Courtesy of Katie Klingsporn

»» Katie Klingsporn skate skiing with friends after her diagnosis.

shorter. Modern people push themselves to extremes wherever you go, but there’s a special strain of this pressure in mountain towns, where value is tied to how hard you ski, how many peaks you bag, and how many miles you log on a bicycle. Here, the glorification of outdoor adventure is all around us, and I think that forces many to get out there, even when it’s not what we want to be doing. I’m not trying to advocate laziness. But I was given a special opportunity to pull myself out of the rat race of the mountain town lifestyle – how big and rad and self-punishing can you get, bro? What I learned is that it’s not always good for us to push relentlessly, to blow past our limits, to wear ourselves down to nothing. To burn and burn. These days, I live under a medical mandate to do less. But I’ve also given myself permission. And for the first time in my life, I’ve realized there’s a lot of wisdom in that adage. Less is more.

Eventually, the symptoms diminished to the level of a low background hum. About two months after the tingling first appeared, I started to regain normalcy. Well, new normalcy that is. I still live with symptoms like dizziness and brain fog every day, and I don’t think I’ll ever get back to the busybody I once was. I’ve had to slow down – and stay slow – in order manage this disease. Doing so was counter to all I knew, and it was really hard. But once I did, I realized I had been rushing through life wantonly, recklessly, missing so much. I had been too busy for mindful conversations, the songs of birds in the forest, spontaneous adventures with friends, the pleasure of sitting in the sun with nothing to do, the relaxation of reading a good book for hours. I’ve changed my habits. Instead of zipping through the woods as fast as humanely possible, I spend more time now wandering slowly, stopping to sit under trees, lay by the side of a river, or watch the clouds pass overhead. Instead of flogging myself for not doing some six-hour epic ride on a sunny summer day, I am satisfied to have walked the dog on the local trail. I’ve swapped sweaty yoga for classes that leave me feeling peaceful. And the lists? Well, they still exist. But they’ve grown a lot

What day is it?

Katie Klingsporn is a radio reporter and freelance writer who lives near Telluride with her husband, dog and three chickens. She enjoys constructing and disassembling sentences, and geeks out when it’s time to go mushroom hunting in the San Juan Mountains.

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�� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 15

[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

When it comes to combustion, vaping keeps you in control

’day, DGO. Last week we took a surface look at vaporizers and how they can be an excellent addition to your weed game, especially for reasons of health and stealth. This week we will dig in deeper and try to understand and appreciate the nuts and bolts of how these smokeless wonders work and why you should strongly consider making an investment that adds one to your depository of cannabis-related implements. Let’s first take a look at you current arsenal – a bowl or three, a bong kicking around a closet or on a shelf, a couple packs of papers or cones, maybe a few blunt wraps, a chillum you picked up in your travels. These delivery systems all have one thing in common: they operate only with the addition of the element of fire and in using each of them, we subject our lungs to the harmful effects of combustion and the byproducts released via the process of smoking (this would be most pronounced in blunts and joints, less so using a waterpipe or bong). Lighters burn at a way, way, way higher temperature than I imagined. A regular old Bictype model burns at a couple/few thousand degrees, apparently. I must admit that freaks me out a bit. And, it turns out that intensity of heat is unnecessary and possibly quite wasteful in the context of cannabis use. It turns out that the individual components in the plant can be removed by reaching their boiling points and extracting them in their heated

aqueous state for purposes of inhalation. Voila! Chemistry! The technology of a vape applies heat to the material being used, be it raw flower, hash, rosin, resin, or any type of oil in a much more controlled manner than the touch of a flame: electronically headed vaporizers can be controlled to heat up to a specific single degree on the calefaction scale. Cannabis is chock full of chemical compounds, each with their own distinct effect on the overall experience by the smoker, eater, drinker, or vaper (I’m not sure what to call someone who plugs their medicine ... a “suppositor,” I suppose). The best known of these compounds, cannabanoids, have a wide range of activation temperatures: THC evaporates at 311 degrees Fahrenheit, CBD at 329; the range for all known cannabinoids goes from 248 to 428 Fahrenheit. The other main source of medical compounds contained in cannabis, terpenes, boils over an even wider range. Having the knowledge and technological wherewithal available allows you the opportunity to customize your cannabis component delivery at least as effectively as the decisions you make on a regular basis concerning the specific strains you consume from the cornucopia available to modern cannabis enthusiasts. You could vape a low-temp GG to get things moving, a medium Charlotte’s Web as you go, and a high temp Hindu Kush to wrap things up – we are living in blessed days. Take a little time to wander by your local apparatus shop this week or at least jump online and do a little investigation about what options are available out there (it’s a lottttttttt). Enjoy; I will, too. Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

16 | Thursday, February 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[Odd Rot, by Patty Templeton]

[pages]

Examining how animals think, play, and grieve Animals have long since been believed to not experience emotion, but after reporting for six years in 11 different countries as a science journalist, Virginia Morell came to the personal decision that animals feel. In “Animal Wise: How We Know Animals Think and Feel,” Morell posits that animals think, laugh, play, grieve, and demonstrate empathy. This isn’t a book bogged down in science speak. It’s a free-flowing examination of how animals may be closer to human behavior than previously thought. For example, ants teach, rats love to be tickled, chimpanzees show sadness, crows create tools, and birds practice songs in their sleep. If you like books like “The Soul of an Octopus” or are inter-

ested in the human-animal bond, pick up a copy of Virginia Morell’s New York Times bestselling “Animal Wise.”

‘Gotta have you on my wall’ Misfits’ songs that Patty Templeton most often sings in her car are “Where Eagles Dare,” “Hybrid Moments,” “Skulls,” “Hollywood Babylon,” and “Night of the Living Dead.” “Last Caress” is also a catchy tune, but why you gotta talk about raping my mom, Danzig? ::sighs:: Talk to Templeton about the Misfits or other random crap at www.instagram. com/pattytempleton or http://pattytempleton.tumblr. com.

—— Patty Templeton

�� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 17

[advice]

Life Hax | Carolyn Hax

Love? Yes. Marriage? Probably. But I want to explore others! I have been with my partner for six years and have just graduated from college. I love my partner and could see myself happily married to them for the long haul. However, I am beginning to feel wistful about never having dated anyone else – or kissed anyone else for that matter – and if I feel this way at 22, I fear that by 35 I’ll go mad and uproot my life at an even worse time. Yet, I can’t imagine going through the pain of breaking up with the perfect partner just because of a stupid seven-year itch. How do I make sense of these feelings? I tell my partner everything, and hiding this feeling is suffocating, but I would never want to hurt them, and I know this would devastate them. I feel too young to be this seriously committed but obviously unwilling to dump someone I think could be right for marriage in 10 years. I thought I’d made up my mind to break up, but then I saw them and my mind was completely unmade because I love them so much. But how can I love them and still be interested in exploring other things? I could use some perspective. To Break Up or Not to Break Up? Stop hiding this feeling. The relationship MIGHT not be able to withstand your telling this truth, but it WILL not be able to withstand your hiding it. Trust that. And have a little more respect for your feelings. It’s not a “stupid sevenyear-itch,” it’s a legitimate point in your development as a person. What you do with it won’t be “smart” or “stupid,” either – there are only “honest” and “dishonest.” Hiding is dishonest. Stop thinking outcomes altogether, in fact, and just operate from a place of respect. Your partner might feel the same

way, no? Getting out of an outcome mindset should include a hard look at your vocabulary. You’re going to have a tough time figuring yourself out if you see this in terms of having to “dump” someone you obviously love. Respect your doubts, respect your partner, and let your next step, whatever it is, be born of that respect. Often I advise people to figure out what they want to say before they go into a conversation, to help them focus, but it’s also OK not to know what you want out of something besides the intimacy of sharing. You probably can’t know what you want until you bring yourself to a place of integrity. So talk. You can do this. My girlfriend and I just went on our first vacation together. I thought it went well, but after we were home she told me she felt I had been cheap because I wanted to split all costs 50-50. I think cheap would be trying to get away with paying less than half. I’m concerned that she and I have fundamentally different attitudes toward money, and also that we have fundamentally different attitudes toward communication, as I think she should have spoken up when I first proposed splitting 50-50, not waited until after the vacation was over.

thought you meant we’d share expenses – but I wasn’t expecting that we’d split every meal down to the loose change.”

other ways to do things and even incorporate a few upgrades into your worldview and routine.

You can have widely varying attitudes on money or faith or nutrition or whatever else, but it’s hard to get by contentedly unless you’re able to talk to each other when you’re bothered by something.

What is your opinion of someone who goes to lunch with a friend and says nothing as the friend grabs the check and pays the bill? No offer to pay, no, “Thank you,” no words spoken at all.

She did eventually speak up, though, so you have that. Use it by responding honestly with your concerns. Say you wish she had said something as soon as this bothered her – and ask if there’s a reason she didn’t. And, ask how she would have preferred to handle the money. Maybe she was fine with splitting but wished it had been less rigid – say, she buys dinner tonight, and you pick up the tab tomorrow, and so on. There’s trust-centered splitting and nitpicky splitting and a vast range in between. Maybe talking about it will confirm your new suspicions of a significant difference in attitude, which is a good thing to do early, if painful. However, a frank discussion might also reveal that she has some ideas good enough to change your mind. People bring all kinds of differences to a relationship, and while it’s important to keep your essential self intact, it’s also a chance to learn

Paid for Lunch My opinion of any non-extreme weirdness, once, is that it’s always possible the person felt awkward and froze. If it happens multiple times, then my opinion becomes that the recipient of your generosity is either an ingrate or highly socially awkward. And then you face a decision: Is this person’s company worth the price you have to pay for it, literally and figuratively? Actually that’s always the question, but it can be helpful to walk ourselves up to it. Carolyn Hax is a syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post. She started her advice column in 1997, after five years as a copy editor and news editor in Style and none as a therapist. Email her at tellme@ washpost.com.

Do you think this is a major problem? We have talked about marriage, and now I’m starting to think we’re not as compatible as I thought we were. First Vacationer I’m definitely with you on the communication problem. Yes, it would have helped for her to say something beforehand – if in fact she had doubts then. But even if she wasn’t sure till she actually saw what you meant by “50-50,” then speaking up on the spot would have been the more productive thing to do: “Hey, when you said 50-50, I

18 | Thursday, February 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening]

DGO’s picks in and around Durango Nakedry at the Strater For your erotic viewing pleasure, the Bohemian Burlesque Society will host “Nature vs. Nurture” at the Strater Theatre. Over 20 performers will shimmy, shake, and make your body quake. The VIP package includes champagne, chocolate, and front-row seating. After the show, there’s a Best Cross Dress contest and an after-party at Moe’s, 937 Main Ave. Details: $25, $50 VIP, 21 and over, 8 p.m., Friday, Feb. 23, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., www.henrystratertheatre.com

Jewelry art opening

Thursday Coffee with the Superintendent, 7:15 a.m., Durango Dough-

works, 2653 Main Ave. Little readers story time,

10 a.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222. Toddler story time, 10:30 a.m.,

Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. Tim Sullivan, 5:30 p.m., Dia-

mond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Five Rivers Trout Unlimited meeting, 5:30 p.m., Irish Embassy

Pub, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200. Open mic night, 6 p.m., Eno

You, quite obviously, deserve to be drenched in jewels and bedecked in baubles. Find hella unique broaches, rings, necklaces, and other wonders at WOW! A Jewelry Exhibition. Artists include the marvelous Crystal Hartman, Carol Salomon, Amina Bettayeb, and Janet Spear.

Wine Bar and Cocktail Lounge, 723 East Second Ave., 385-0105,

Details: Free, all ages, 5-9 p.m., Friday, Feb. 23, Studio &, 1027 Main Ave., www.anddurango.com

Andrew Schumann, 7 p.m.,

Telluride Gay Ski Week kicks off Telluride’s Gay Ski Week kicks off with a helluva rainbow glitter bang this weekend. Notable events include a drag show/dance party with “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season 3 winner Raja Gemini and Miss Gay America 2017 Suzy Wong, a show with YouTube and Broadway sensation Franke Grande, an AIDS benefit fashion show, and more. For a full schedule, hit up www. telluridegayski.com/event-directory. Details on opening night drag show/dance party: $30 balcony, $45 floor seats, $300 VIP table (with five seats), 21 and over, 8 p.m. doors, 9 p.m. show, Saturday, Feb. 24, Sheridan Opera House, 110 North Oak St, Telluride, www.sheridanoperahouse.com

Durango Voice coming atchya

“Winter Tales” lecture series, 6:30 p.m., Dolores Public Li-

brary, 1002 Railroad Ave., Dolores, 882-4127. Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260. Loki Moon, 7 p.m., 11th Street

Bohemian Burlesque Society, 7:30 p.m., $25-$50, Henry

“Saving Snow” film screening, 6 p.m., Durango Public Library,

Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

1900 East Third Ave.

Neil Nelson and Movin’ On,

8:30 p.m., $5, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 East Second Ave., 375-2568.

Saturday Dave Spencer Ski Classic, 9

a.m., $150, Purgatory Resort, 100 Skier Place. Rio Grande Southern Goose No. 5 Winter Excursion, 9:30

a.m., $115-$189, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, 479 Main Ave. Metropolitan Opera Live in HD: G. Puccini’s La Bohme,

10:30 a.m., $20-$23, Fort Lewis College, Student Union, Vallecito Room, 1000 Rim Drive, 247-7657.

a.m., Studio & Gallery, 1027 Main Ave.

torium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Rio Grande Southern Goose No. 5 Winter Excursion, 9:30

7:30 p.m., $10-$15, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 2592606.

After School Awesome,

3:30 p.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

munity Recreation Center, 2700 Main Ave. Terry Rickard, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Tuesday jam, 6 p.m., Steaming

Wednesday

802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office Spiri-

STEAM Lab, 3:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Lake Nighthorse recreation open house and public meeting, 4 p.m., Durango Com-

“Next to Normal” auditions, 2 p.m., Durango Arts Center,

Winter Bike to Work Day, 7

a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave.

go Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Bean, 900 Main Ave.

College, Noble Hall, Room 130, 1000 Rim Drive.

Preschool story time, 10:30

Baby story time, 2 p.m., Duran-

Tim Sullivan, 7 p.m., Office Spir-

Friday

River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

$97, First National Bank of Durango, 259 W. Ninth St.

Jean-Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 247-7700.

Durango Youth Poetry Slam semifinals, 3 p.m., Fort Lewis

Caregiver Cafe, 10 a.m., Pine

“Why Emotional Intelligence is Important in the Workplace” lecture, 11 a.m.,

Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m.,

Station, 1101 Main Ave.

a.m., $115-$189, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, 479 Main Ave.

Tuesday

Backcountry Film Festival,

Laugh Therapy Showcase,

8 p.m., Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave.

Sunday Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m.,

Jean-Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave., 247-7700. Free tax help, 1:30 p.m., Pine

River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222. Bluemoon Ramblers, 7 p.m.,

Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

itorium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Morning meditation, 8:30 a.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222. T(w)een Time, 4 p.m., Durango

Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. 57th annual Student Juried Exhibition, 4:30 p.m., Fort Lewis

College, Art Hall, 1000 Rim Drive. Kirk James, 5 p.m., Rochester

Hotel, 726 East Second Ave. SMART Recovery Durango,

5:30 p.m., Suttle Street Clinic, 72 Suttle Street, Suite M. Greg Ryder, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 2474431. Durango Diaries: Legal marijuana and teenagers,

5:30 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio, 2599234. Ska Brewing Co. and Strater Hotel Collaborative Beer Dinner, 6:30 p.m., $55, Strater

Hotel, 699 Main Ave. Terry Rickard, 7 p.m., Office

The Durango Voice is back for its third year of fundraising for Manna soup kitchen. Pre-selected singers will perform for live, blind auditions. Twelve finalists will be selected and coached to compete in the finals on April 7. Last year sold out, so don’t wait too long for tix.

Agave, 4 p.m., Billy Goat Saloon, 39848 U.S. Highway 160, Gem Village, 884-9155.

Monday Jammin’ Juniors, 10 a.m., Pine

Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

“Riders of the West: Portraits of Indian Rodeo” opening reception, 5 p.m.,

River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Maria Schneider Orchestra, 7:30 p.m., $35-$45, Fort Lewis

Details: $35, all ages, 7 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 24, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., www.henrystratertheatre.com

Southern Ute Cultural Center, 503 Ouray Drive, Ignacio.

Looking for Healing, 10 a.m., Christian Science Reading Room, 1166 East Third Ave.

College, Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Paws for Celebration, 5:30

Meet Crazy Horse family members

p.m., $20, Durango Elks Club, 901 East Second Ave.

Author William Matson and Floyd Clown and Doug War Eagle, the nearest living relatives to Crazy Horse, will be at the Durango library to talk about the new book, “Crazy Horse The Lakota Warrior’s Life and Legacy.”

StillHouse Junkies, 5:30 p.m.,

Details: Free, all ages, 6:30 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 27, Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., www.facebook.com/durangopubliclibrary

Durango Crafts Spirit, 1120 Main Ave. Donny Johnson, 5:30 p.m., Dia-

mond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Black Velvet Trio, 7 p.m., De-

railed Pour House, 725 Main Ave.

Career Speaker Series: Dr. Heidi Steltzer, 5 p.m., Power-

house Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio, 259-9234. Joel Racheff, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Introduction to Arduino, 6

p.m., $50-$75, Powerhouse Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www. dgomag.com, visit www.

swscene.com, click “Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form and submit. Listings at www.swscene.com will appear on www.dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www.swscene.com is free and takes one day to process.

�� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 19

Four Corners Foot & Ankle

DEALS

575 Rivergate Lane, Suite 95, Durango, CO (970) 259-5303 www.4cornersfeet.com Let Dr. Kayse Lake at Four Corners Foot & Ankle provide relief from pain with custom orthotics so you can get on with your life!

A Pair of Custom Orthotics

Accepting most insurances including Colorado medicaid.

Offer expires 2/28/18

249659

February Special

Dog & Cat Food & Supplies Grooming & Dog Wash • Boarding Day Care

Pay in advance for

4 self service dog washes, Get 5th Free!

21738 Hwy 160W, Durango

All washes must be used by 11/30/2018

970.375.9700

healthyhoundsandfatcats.com

Expires 02/28/18. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Last bath of the day must be started at least one hour before closing time.

Cliffrose

D G O

$50 OFF

· Bunions · Heel pain · Arthritis of the foot · Ankle sprains · And so much more we can help with!

GARDEN CENTER & GIFTS

Open Everyday! Champagne Shopping Wednesdays!

Cliffrose Garden Center

27885 HW 160 • Cortez, CO

970.565.8994

15% OFF Expiration Date: 2/28/18

275539

Bird Feeders, Bird Baths Gardening Books & House Plants

Must present coupon at time of purchase.Not valid with any other offer.

276890

To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 20 | Thursday, February 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

RNH ROOFING ALL PROJECTS UNDER $400

10%OFF

Repairs • Veteran & Senior Discounts • Licensed & Insured • Roof Heat Melt Systems •

ALL PROJECTS OVER $500

25 years experience!

Call Richard 970-749-4288

Expiration Date: 2/28/18 276887

Locally Blown Glass CBD Products Local Artwork Vaping Products Apparel, etc

entire purchase $

over 25! Expiration Date: 02/28/2018

Must present coupon at time of purchase. Not valid with any other offer. One per customer.

Open EVERYDAY! 10am-8pm

835 MAIN AVE, Durango, CO 81301

pipe or pack of rolling papers

with any purchase!

Come visit us at our NEW location in Main Mall!

D G O

All Phases of Roofing • Re-roofing • New Construction • Snow Removal •

20%OFF

Expiration Date: 02/28/2018 Must present coupon at time of purchase. Not valid with any other offer. One per customer.

3 Course Dinner for $25.00! Choose from our weekly selections. Expiration Date: 02/28/18 Offer cannot be combined with other promotions. Not valid on holidays.

725 E 2nd Ave, Durango, CO 81301 • (970) 385-6884 • Closed Sunday

Recommended by Bon Appetit, Sunset Magazine, The New York Times. Taste of Durango’s “Best Food” Award.

“Suddenly Slender helped change my life”

After ››

5 Pack $705 with the 6th Wrap

FREE! (exp Feb 28, 2018)

‹‹ Before

Mummy Mondays

Every Monday Wraps are priced at $130 Regularly priced $165 (exp Feb 28, 2018)

DEALS

Enjoy an appetizer, entree and dessert all for $25.00

3701 N. Main 100B • Durango 970.259.6961 SuddenlySlenderNowDurango.com

To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 �� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 21

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Be careful about shopping. Ideally, you should spend money only on food or gas this week. If you shop for anything else, you might regret it. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) The Moon is in your sign for most of this week, but it is loosey-goosey! This is why you feel indecisive and adrift. However, you are very creative this week. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Take it easy this week. Run away and hide somewhere if you can. However, with the Sun high in your chart, you likely will be high-viz! CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

This is a wonderful week for a frank, honest discussion with a friend, especially a female acquaintance. Don’t

agree to anything important. Just hang out. LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) If others approach you to take on increased responsibilities this week, tell them you will get back to them next week. Don’t volunteer for anything. Avoid making any important decisions. VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Feelings of escape are strong this week, which is why you want to leave work early or run away and join the circus. Explore what you can of the world around you. Spend money only on gas or food. LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) Postpone important decisions about inheritances and shared property until next week. Just fill your data bank this week. “Just the facts, ma’am.” SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

You will enjoy conversations with loved ones this week because life is a bit silly and goofy. Just relax. Postpone important decisions until next week. Take things easy. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) This week, you might be plagued with shortages and silly little mistakes. Just go with the flow because all of this is minor. Postpone important decisions until next week.

is full of minor mistakes. Furthermore, people are indecisive. PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) This is a poor week for important decisions. It’s also a poor week to change your mind about something that was important. Just go along with what’s happening and make your important decisions next week. BORN THIS WEEK

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

You are concerned about the welfare of others. You have a strong sense of what you believe and what you value. This year is a power year! Big decisions and major achievements! Think success, power and money! It’s time to reap the benefits of the past decade. Expect to attain aspects of leadership in all your relationships with others. Activity is key!

If you can relax at home and just cocoon for a while – do it. This week

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) This is a wonderful, creative week for you! You will make great strides if you work in the arts, the entertainment world or the hospitality industry. Enjoy playful times with children.

[Wild West: Not just white men] The wide open frontier wasn’t only rugged white dudes. Here’s some of women and people of color who helped shaped the Wild West. Stagecoach Mary Mary Fields was a free slave who was the first female African-American mail carrier. Stagecoach Mary was said to be able to knock out any aggressor with one punch, broke more noses than anyone else in central Montana, loved baseball, was a babysitter of the actor Gary Cooper, and went broke in her old age because she opened a restaurant but had such a big heart she kept feeding people in need for free. Belle Starr Everyone’s heard of Billy the Kid, but what about bandit queen Belle Starr? Starr was a crack shot, carried two pistols with cartridges layered over her hips, and rode sidesaddle in a black velvet dress with a fancy, feathered hat on. Accounts of her death vary, but all of them include brutal shotgun blasts. Bass Reeves Belle Starr was arrested at one point by Bass Reeves, the first black deputy U.S. Marshall west of the Mississippi River. He arrested more than 3,000 felons and only had to shoot 14 outlaws dead his whole career.

22 | Thursday, February 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[pics]

EMPOWERMENT DGO photo contributor Lucy Schaefer went behind the scenes at the production of “The Vagina Monologues” at the Durango Arts Center and at Rare Darkness’s burlesque performance at Animas City Theatre over the weekend. For more photos, go to dgomag.com

�� Thursday, February 22, 2018 | 23

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