Myths, Tall Tales, and Legends by Ballantine Communications

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, April 5, 2018

DGO

FREE!

MYTHS, TALL TALES, AND LEGENDS With the help of local historians, we uncovered the truth behind Durangoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s strangest stories

Also: The legend of the Purple F@$ker cocktail, how to tell your personal story, and the voice behind City Market announcements

dgomag.com

CRAFT BREWING April 11 • 5:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Science Center 1333 Camino del Rio Sponsored by: Local voices. Local stories. Welcome to Durango Diaries. This week’s speakers:

Attend the event to be entered into a free drawing for two tickets for the Durango Brew Train.

Dave Thibodeau Co-Founder of Ska Brewing

Paul Black Runs L - J Ranch, home to Pine River Hops.

Tony Simmons Owner and head funmaker of Pagosa Brewing.

Durang

Diaries

Presented By:

durangoherald.com/durangodiaries

FREE. Kid-friendly. Beer and wine available for purchase.

2 | Thursday, April 5, 2018 •• •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 3 Number 24 Thursday, April 5, 2018

Editor Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer

Green Gathering at Buckley Park DGO photo contributor Lucy Schaefer got a little zen at the Green Man Gathering over the weekend.

Jessie O’Brien jobrien@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko 375-4553 Contributors Katie Cahill

Check out the photos on Page 23 and many more at dgomag.com

Christopher Gallagher Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch Brett Massé

Visual

Wanderlust

Eat

Performance

Pages

Sound

Downtown Lowdown

Album Reviews 9 10 Beer 11 Drink 16 Weed

Lindsay Mattison Sean Moriarty

Seeing Through

Lucy Schaefer/Special to DGO

Lucy Schaefer

Cooper Stapleton

Review 17

Robert Alan Wendeborn

Design/layout Colossal Sanders Reader Services 375-4570 Chief Executive Officer Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising David Habrat Founding Editors Amy Maestas David Holub

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

18 Life Hax

Editor-at-Large David Holub

The Smoke

Kayaks, crocodiles, and a pod of humpback whales “Our paddles dipped quietly in and out of the moonlit water as we crossed the bay... Scott stopped me about 500 yards from shore. He thought he saw crocodile eyes glinting on the sand. As we bobbed, we noticed the water begin to move around us. Scott whispered, ‘I think there’s something... big... out here.’”

11 The legend of the Purple F@!cker There are legends born in these hills – ghosts, outlaws, and heroes – but none are as famed as one radioactive cocktail found on Main Avenue.

Tell us what you think! Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

16 It’s time to find your green weed thumb

19 Happening 20 DGO Deals

You can do it. It’s pretty easy – easier than raising a kitten, and way easier than a puppy. It is a very similar workload to keeping a goldfish (and the average lifespan is about the same).

/dgomag

22 Horoscope/ puzzles 23 Pics

/dgomag @dgo_mag

ON THE COVER Two famous Durango statues were originally one, split apart in 1987 after being discovered in an underground downtown tunnel. Colossal Sanders/DGO

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

A SAVVY MAGAZINE FOR A SAVVY CUSTOMER.

Call 375-4570 375-4570 or or email email info@dgomag.com info@dgomag.com Call

CARRY DGO IN YOUR BUSINESS

@dg

[visual]

[travel]

STORYTELLING

101

»» FLC professor shares how to improve telling your personal story

Great storytelling can overcome cultural differences, gender differences, and even language barriers. “There are stories everywhere that are worth telling,” said Stacey Sotosky, a documentary filmmaker and assistant professor in journalism and multimedia studies at Fort Lewis College. “Every person has many stories that are valuable towards others.” There are rules to making your own story compelling and connect with people around you, whether through conversation, in writing, or other expressive ways. “Stories need to have all the basic plot points to be successful – a hook, characters that are relatable, and a universal theme that is clear in the presentation of the piece,” she said. “They need to have surprise and a call for the audience to reflect on themselves and their own experience – something the audience can put in their pocket.”

Courtesy of Stacey Sotosky

»» Stacey Sotosky

To do this, storytellers should focus their story on a universal theme. This is what Sotosky calls the “human common denominator.” She said the most common of those denominators – themes that attribute to all life experience – are love and fear.

“The reason why there are so many love songs is that we can all relate to those emotions,” she said. And Sotosky said there is no reason to embellish or exaggerate a story. As a documentary filmmaker, Sotosky said there are ethical guidelines to follow, but there is a lot of manipulation when it comes to editing and framing the story. “The goal is to go to a climax and have some transformation, resolution, or solution,” she said. “Audiences subconsciously want those components to be satisfied with a story.” When we tell our own personal stories on social media, those components are missing, and people are left to fill in the gaps. “It’s much more difficult to tell a cohesive story with (social media) platforms,” Sotosky said. “We have the power to construct our (persona) so we want to do so in a way that is safe and constructs our best selves. There is a disjunct there.” In order to be better storytellers in our personal lives, we have to get rid of the bullshit. “Vulnerability is key,” Sotosky said. “You want to create empathy and connection. (That means) not always try to project perfection ... You want to say, ‘This is really hard for me.’ That removes the facade of the boundaries that exist between humans to know that they’re not alone.”

Courtesy of Chandra Fowler

»» The author and her husband.

Kayaks, crocodiles, and a pod of humpback whales WANDERLUST

Travel stories worth telling

We were in Puerto Jimenez a month into our honeymoon when we had our first big fight. It was a blowout over something stupid – what, I can’t even remember. My husband Scott and I were only going to be there for a night and wanted to do a tour, but neither of us were willing to break the bad mood. When we reluctantly walked into some tour offices, they were either full or out of our price range. I stormed toward the gulf, and we walked in silence down to the beach as the sun set. It was getting dark and a full moon was starting to rise over the Golfo Dulce. Scott asked what my plan was. I scanned the shore and my eyes stopped on two kayaks leaning up against the wall at a beach bar. “We are going kayaking,” I answered sharply. He looked at me in disbelief. The area was crawling in crocodiles and it was night time – would they even rent them to us? I went to the bar and convinced them to rent us the kayaks. They didn’t ask for IDs or offer life jackets. They did stop us as we were dragging the boats away to make sure we didn’t need any beer. If we disappeared into the sea, no one would ever know.

As soon as we hit the water our tempers cooled. Our paddles dipped quietly in and out of the moonlit water as we crossed the bay toward an empty beach. Scott stopped me about 500 yards from shore. He thought he saw crocodile eyes glinting on the sand. As we bobbed in our boats, peering silently into the darkness, we noticed the water begin to move around us. Scott whispered, “I think there’s something... big... out here.” There was a moment of total silence before the calm was broken by the breaching and spouting of three or four humpback whales surrounding us, the closest one less than a paddle length away. I have never paddled so fast in my life. We both shot away from the enormous sea creatures at full speed, but turned around once we were a safe distance away to watch them play in the warm waters of Golfo Dulce. We returned to shore different people, laughing hysterically in the moonlight, yelling, playing, and excitedly reliving the incredible experience we had just shared. We were refreshed and ready for the rest of the adventures the trip held for us. —— Chandra Fowler

4 | Thursday, April 5, 2018 •• •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[eat]

What the Fork | Lindsay Mattison

An overly opinionated view on cheeseburgers

et ready, because my rant pants are on and I’m ready to go. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m particularly opinionated when it comes to simple food. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t eat (and love) any cheeseburger you put in front of me (because I’m a bit hypocritical that way). But, growing up a picky eater, I pretty much lived on plain hamburgers and cheese pizza. So, please excuse me if I have a deeply-rooted dream of how these foods should be prepared. I’ve written about cheeseburgers before, and I thought I’d said my piece until I watched a cooking competition on Food Network. To set the scene: I may or may not have been so hung over after St. Patrick’s Day that I lounged around all day, unwilling and unable to move off the couch. I would blame my friend Mr. Jameson, but ultimately it’s my fault for inviting him over in the first place. The challenge had something to do with burgers, and I heard one of the contestant’s bragging, “I put the lettuce, tomato, and onion on the bottom bun so all juices drip down and season the vegetables.” I was the only outraged person in the room. Even in my reduced state, I bolted up and shouted at the TV, “No! No! God, no!” I instantly became animated, filled with disgust and fueled by rage. How could anyone so confidently make such an incorrect statement on national television? “Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man,” my husband quoted, but I was not to be placated, not even by the Dude. Yes, I’m overly opinionated and, yes, I know I’m not always right, but this was different. Sorry, but this is a factual argument based on empirical evidence. I’ll remain emphatic until the end of my days that the only thing belonging on that bottom bun is a shmear of mayo. This protective layer does catch all the burger’s juices, creating a sauce in and of itself while also protecting that same bottom bun from becoming soggy. What would happen without it? A sogged-out burger bun that falls apart halfway through the eating experience. What happens if you replace said mayo with ketchup or mustard? No protection – those aren’t emulsified spreads. What about the claim that the LTO gets seasoned by the juices? Ridiculous. If by “seasoned” you mean “ruins the burger,” then just go right ahead. I can see that I’m getting heated at this point, so let me step back and think about this logically. Why in the world would you put the

slippery items on the bottom of a sandwich? You’re just asking for the patty to teeter-totter on a precarious pile of toppings. One wrong bite and everything just splooshes out the back. That’s called a recipe for ruining your day. On the other hand (logic still prevailing), when the meat is placed directly on the bottom bun (mayo or not), the beautiful crumb of a soft, squishy bun will grip and hug the patty, keeping it from spilling out. That means no toppings falling into your lap, no beautiful day turning you into a sad sack, just an easy, enjoyable eating experience. You may be thinking – but, Lindsay, if you put the LTO on the top, won’t they still fall out? Yes, you’re so correct! And we’ve arrived at the next part of my rant: Don’t put a salad on your burger. Just don’t do it! If you can’t eat the burger by holding it in one hand, you’ve officially put too many toppings on it. Below-the-patty or above-the-patty be damned, this contestant’s burger was simply piled too high – at least 2 inches, not counting the patty – with shredduce, thick tomato slices, pickles, and caramelized onions. I’m not saying you can’t put some lettuce on there if it’ll make you feel better, but keep it to one leaf. One slice of tomato if you must. A few thinly sliced onions (or, better yet, finely chopped onions

soaked in water to remove their pungency). Top it off with a few pickle slices and perhaps a weave of bacon. Between the melted cheese and the condiments on the top bun, all that extraneous material will be kept in check as you eat. But, that’s where fact becomes opinion. My in-aperfect-world burger is just a squishy potato bun protected by a thin layer of mayo, an American cheesetopped burger patty, a few pickles, and a thin layer of ketchup on the top bun. This angelic burger hits all the notes it should: soft, sweet, tangy, crunchy, melty, and savory. It’s simple, it’s delicious, and it’s completely pure. Sure, I like a burger with caramelized onions and green chiles as much as the next guy, and I’ve also been known to toss on some kale or arugula. But, if I am going to get crazy with the toppings, it’s always on top of the patty. Never below. In case you’re wondering: The guy got sent home in the first round. So, I think I’ve proved my point. Lindsay D. Mattison is a professional chef and food writer living in Durango. She enjoys long walks in the woods, the simplicity of New York-style cheese pizza, and she’s completely addicted to Chapstick. Contact her at lindsaymattisonwriter@gmail.com.

�� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 5

[performance]

JEREMY LAVENDER:

Meet the velvet voice behind the south City Market announcements Jessie O’Brien DGO STAFF WRITER

James Earl Jones doesn’t hold a candle to the velvet voice of Jeremy Lavender. You may not recognize his name, but any Durango citizen who has shopped at south City Market would recognize the warm, romantic vocals spilling from the PA system at 4 p.m. – the time when Lavender alerts shoppers to the fresh-baked French bread in the bakery. The soothing words, “Good afternoon, City Market Shoppers…” that announce the carb goodies and deals may seem effortless, but Lavender has had over two years of intense practice. Lavender first started in the deli market, where his manager recognized the young clerk’s natural vocal gift and urged him to make announcements. It was later in the meat and seafood department that Lavender honed his craft by alerting shoppers of sockeye salmon specials during the holidays, or the rare Copper River salmon that is only in stock once per year during mating season. When Lavender made his way to the bakery, he didn’t let the intimidating world of bagels and croissants – “When you close by yourself, there is a lot of stuff to stock,” he said – deter him from informing shoppers of essential information. What most don’t understand about mastery are the tireless hours and lifelong dedication artists like Da Vinci, Bach, and LeBron James spend working on their skills. Lavender gets it. To this day, he goes over his lines as he pushes the cart of bread over to the PA. “I feel the pressure,” Lavender said. “Rehearsal is important. You can’t get too cocky with it.” Lavender focuses his studies on animator RicePirate and YouTube star Psychicpeebles, who are his voice icons. Thanks to his training, he can manipulate the back of his throat in such a way to create sounds more pleasing than a passing train in the distance, or waves crashing on a

Jessie O’Brien/DGO

»» Jeremy Lavender and his beloved French bread. rocky shore. But the humble Lavender does not boast. He is well-grounded. “For the most part, I don’t think anybody listens, “Lavender said. “There is a lot of French bread left at the end of the day.” The leftover French bread is in no way a reflection of Lavender’s brilliant talents. First, fresh French bread only has an hour to be considered “fresh” before it is packaged up. This gives shoppers little time to make their way from the frozen section of the bakery. This journey is almost impossible on heavy shopping days,

especially when pushing a cart with a bum wheel. Second, Lavender said the French bread is too stiff when it is fresh, making it less desirable. It doesn’t develop its essential softness until it’s sealed. “It’s a mystery I’ve yet to solve,” Lavender said. Lastly, there is an abundant amount of French bread to be sold. Lavender said there is a mysterious rogue baker who comes in at midnight to mix mounds of dough for the bakery crew to bake the following day. Nobody knows if this man has limits to the quantity of dough he

makes, but somebody needs to stop him. Lavender simply cannot turn the vast heaps of French bread that await each morning, no matter how great he sounds over the grocery store speakers. But this will not stop him from trying. Lavender has no plans to leave City Market. He is happy in the bakery, although he is considering learning a line or two in French, so he can make his announcement more authentic. Until then, he’ll be there at 2 p.m., 3 p.m., and 4 p.m., making his announcements, and making south City Market swoon.

6 | Thursday, April 5, 2018 •• •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[pages]

[Odd Rot, by Patty Templeton]

The intrigue and wisdom of honeybees anyone interested I began dabbling in in these extremely beekeeping in 2010. complex, often misunOver the years, I came derstood, creatures. to understand what Freeman shares the Thoreau meant when extensive knowledge he said, “The keeping of she’s acquired through bees is like the direcher “bee-centric,” sustion of sunbeams.” I’ve tainable approach to learned what not to do beekeeping, and relays – the less interference, most information from the better. My only real White Rabbit the perspective of the contribution is that of book review: bees themselves. She negotiator with hungry “Song of Increase,” speaks often of the bears; everything else “unity consciousness” by Jacqueline they handle just fine, if influencing every acFreeman not better, on their own. tion within bee society, In the face of countless as well as dealings with setbacks, they’ve proved amazingly rethe world at large. If honeybees intrigue silient, and I’ve evolved from prospective you in the slightest, pick up a copy of honey farmer to captivated observer and “The Song of Increase.” It’s a glimpse student. into another world that will leave you “Song of Increase: Listening to the Wisdom of Honeybees for Kinder Beekeeping and a Better World,” by Jacqueline Freeman, is a must-read for

fascinated and buzzing for more. —— Keena Kimmel Owner of White Rabbit Books and Curiosities

DURANGO’S LARGEST PREMIUM CANNABIS DISPENSARY

‘Green Onions’ Patty Templeton is kitchen dancing to Booker T. & the M.G.’s and craving potato chips. Talk to her about onion dip, bearpigs, and brutal fiction at www. instagram.com/pattytempleton or http://pattytempleton.tumblr.com.

What day is it? Wines-day!

WWW.SANTECOLORADO.COM 970-375-BUDS

742½ Main Ave. Durango (IN THE ALLEY)

DURANGO CANNABIS COMPANY DEAL ON APRIL 6TH ONLY

$25 EIGHTHS

››› (ONE PER PERSON) WE STOCK OVER 800+ PRODUCTS! (970) 375-2837 2nd Ave

Bank of the San Juans

HANDICAP ACCESSIBLE

E 8th St

Alley

Durango Coffee Co

Main Ave

Mutu’s Italian Kitchen

Want this deal? Mention this ad!

$1 Glass of Wine All Day Wednesday!*

OUR ADVERTISED PRICES INCLUDE TAX

Say What?!

HAPPY HOUR - 10% OFF: 4:20–5:20 PM EARLY BIRD - 10% OFF: RECREATIONAL 9–11 AM, MEDICAL 10 –12 PM VETERAN SPECIALS!

*Limit 3 per person. Deal not valid with any other offer

WWW.SANTECOLORADO.COM • 742½ MAIN AVENUE • DURANGO, CO

RECREATIONAL: SUN to WED 9AM-9PM & THUR to SAT 9AM-9:45PM · MEDICAL: SUN to SAT 10AM-6:30PM

1201 Main Ave · (970) 259-5028 · Open: Monday-Saturday 11:30am-9pm

�� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 7

[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Farmington rock band Cinematica

ddie Jacquez’s persistent attempts to get recognized by a record producer have paid off. The Farmington musician, who plays in instrumental rock band Cinematica, was following Albuquerque producer Kenny Riley on Instagram, and would often drop hints about Riley’s Rio Grande Studio, its equipment, and musicians Riley was working with. He did so hoping perhaps Riley would take notice of the band and their music. As luck would have it, Riley did. The Cinematica trio went to his studio last summer to record their album, “Ultraviolet Waterfall.”

Cinematica will perform at the Balcony Backstage on Friday, April 6. “All the sudden, I get a random email one day, and we were reached out to by this producer,” said Jacquez. “He checked out our profile and said, ‘Hey, I hear something that I feel like I could work with. I feel like I could take your sound to the next level. Give me a call.’ He left his number for me and said, ‘Let’s talk.’” Soon after, the trio was making a record in Albuquerque. The band is now hitting it hard, incorporating a number of videos into their electronic press kit, and anticipating a return to the famed Whiskey-A-Go-Go in Los Angeles later this year. They’ll be

Animas Plastic Surgery www.animasplasticsurgery.com

Cosmetic Consult

if calling in the month of April to schedule.

• Breast Lift/Augmentation • Liposuction • Abdominoplasty • Fat Grafting/Body Contouring • Facelift/Necklift • Eyelid Surgery/Browlift

Ryan Naffziger, M.D Certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery

175 Mercado Street, Ste 111 • (970) 828-1199

Courtesy of Cinematica

opening for the band Orgy. Like Cinematica’s overall sound, “Ultraviolet Waterfall” is a dose of punk and instrumental guitar rock via space, psychedelic, guitar-driven indie rock, recommended if you like the meandering of Ozric Tentacles and the technique of Trans Am. Influenced by the open space on the outskirts of their town, the band’s music is vast, delicate, and dreamy, while remaining adventurous and bold. A lot of instrumental music made in the western United States comes with a space-country edge, and is often lumped in as desert noir. Ditch the country, keep the space, add an electric guitar, and you get close to Cinematica. The rhythm section, courtesy of Jacquez and bass player O.J. Kaminky, lays solid ground for Brandon Mike’s guitar skills. Mike’s style and tone walks delicately between subtle and aggressive. His playing is moving, with a jazz influence that brings moments of pure escape, and could fool the listener into thinking they’re listening to the improvisation of a tripped-out jam band. That soon disappears amidst power chords and drive, though. The band is equally adept at laying back into the world of soundbed and soundtrack, but will ultimately blast straight into the forefront, with a dark, sophisticated sound perfect for a Friday night or Sunday morning. Cinematica’s music translates with ease from studio to stage, and the

Bryant’s Best Friday: Instrumental rock music with Cinematica, 9 p.m. No cover. The Balcony Backstage, 600 Main Ave., upstairs. Information: 4228008. Wednesday, April 11: Bluegrass and roots music with I’m With Her and Jonny Fritz, 7:30 p.m. $38/$48. Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College, 1000 Rim Drive. Information: 247-7657. band manages to say a lot without actually saying a word. “We love vocals, but there’s something unique about an instrumental band when you see an audience that gets captivated by what you’re doing and not saying a word. It just happened the cards fell that way for us. Brandon is such a beautiful guitar player. It’s like the songs are saying things to you without being sung,” said Jacquez. “There’s something romantic about instrumental music. You can get lost in your own mind. You’re not trying to figure out what the singer is trying to tell you, or asking yourself what he’s trying to say. You’re caught in the sound. It envelopes you and takes you somewhere other music can’t,” he said. Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

8 | Thursday, April 5, 2018 •• •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[sound] What’s new Naked Giants,“SLUFF” Some of the best recommendations come from close musical confidants, no? Having been involved in college and public radio since the late ‘90s has been fortuitous for me. I have been lucky enough to get in early, and often ahead of bands’ breakthrough moments. Before the proliferation of the Internet, what with it being spoon-fed your “favorite” new band, thanks to pay-for-play algorithms (see: Pandora, Spotify, Apple Music, et al.), and the commodification of music scenes,

New at

April 6 Underoath,“Erase Me” Comeback albums are always a dangerous business. The band needs to be able to fulfill the nostalgic promises of their back catalog while adding a worthwhile addition to their sonic catalog for it to work. Underoath is a band that means different things to different people. The band could simultaneously score a bad breakup, the trials of growing older, and the pain of losing friends, all within the same song. Often, it seems there are two concurrent Underoath’s vying for control – one defined by pop sensibilities, and the other with both feet firmly planted in their post-hardcore roots – and both sides are evident on “Erase Me,” the band’s first album since 2010. This album is the first since 2008 to feature founding drummer and singer Aaron Gillespie. The first half of the record stumbles a bit, and seems unsure whether to embrace the pop or hardcore side. The album highlight, “On My Teeth,” rests squarely in the middle of the first half of the record, and features a ferocious chorus, along with what may be the first time frontman Spencer Chamberlain has cursed on record, to thrilling effect. The second half of the record has a lot more of their “Disambiguation” sound, layering elements of post-rock

you had to work for new music discovery. You relied on college radio and clerks at your local independent record store. For me, it was also skate videos and magazines like Thrasher. Often, it was like-minded friends who made zines or bought different skate videos. It is also worth mentioning that this was a time before stores like Hot Topic or Zumiez existed. Before the advent of adventure sports. The moniker – not the activities – mind you. I still rely on friends birthed from that same before-time for music suggestions. As such, a dear, trusted friend in the

and ambient mingling with the harder-edged stuff. I find it to be their most thrilling sound, and there are moments where Gillespie and Chamberlain harmonize over some really strange, haunting electronics. I hope that if the band continues in its current incarnation, they will continue to explore those avenues. The band has made it clear that the audience’s perception of what Underoath should sound like does not factor in to their writing, so maybe we will get some more experimentation in the future.

Pacific Northwest told me to check out Naked Giants prior to their first EP, “R.I.P,” and its six tracks of catchy, hook-filled, scuzzy garage punk. I knew from the opener I’d anticipate a fulllength album. That full-length album, “SLUFF,” was indeed worth the wait, and is more of the same, albeit cleaner and more concise. Guitarist/vocalist Grant Mullen, bassist/vocalist Gianni Aiello, and drummer Henry LaVallee enlisted the help of producer Steve Fisk (of Nirvana, Screaming Trees, Beat Happening, and Car Seat Headrest fame) in Seattle to churn out 12 tracks that pick up

Old Dirty Bastard. It made me lock the track on repeat while I try to figure out all the other references. This is rap genius bait in its purest form. Not that all of the lyrics are referential to the game, though. “U & I” features somes smooth gospel and soul vocals as the backing track, with Meech’s baritone dominating the back half of the track,

right where the EP left off. “SLUFF” is available now via New West Records on compact disc, cassette tape, and on an initial run of hot pink vinyl. As is now customary, the vinyl also comes with a digital download in your choice of various high quality formats. Recommended for fans of King Tuff, Jacuzzi Boys, Turbo Fruits, CFM, The Black Lips, JEFF the Brotherhood, and the multitudinous Ty Segall-related projects. —— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

providing some candid insight into his upbringing, bipolar disorder, and the not-so-boastful side of the life. Other releases include: Thirty Seconds to Mars, Doctor Octagon, Lil Xan, Blackberry Smoke, The Eels, Kamelot, Kylie Minogue, Son Volt. —— Cooper Stapleton

Flatbush Zombies,“Vacation in Hell” “Beast Coast” rappers Flatbush Zombies emerge again from their corner of New York with their second full-length album, and on it, they continue to prove that straight-up hip-hop hasn’t lost it’s edge in this autotuned age. Zombies have no gimmicks – it’s just three dudes who have honed their craft over two massive mixtapes and the 2016 full length debut, “3001: A Laced Odyssey.” Each member of the outfit – Juice, Meech, and Erick The Architect – brings a unique sound, tone, and experience to the mix. Meech has one of the most unique voices in hip-hop, a deep baritone with buttery-smooth flow. The new record has some amazing moments on it, with “Headstone” being one of the standout tracks. The song centers around the idea of influences, with each line containing a reference to hip-hop history. The references fly by so fast that I can’t keep up, but I heard mentions of pretty much every major rapper, from 2Pac, to Biggie, to GZA and his liquid swords, and, of course,

Happy Camper pop-up Saturday 12-4 NOW OPENM P TIL 9

GREAT STRAIN SELECTION • HASH & CONCENTRATE • EDIBLES • SEEDS • CLONES PIPES • SMOKING ACCESSORIES • APPAREL • MJ LITERATURE & CONSULTING • ATM ON-SITE

RECREATIONAL 9am-9pm • MEDICAL 9am-6:45pm • 72 SUTTLE ST. UNITS F & G 970.259.3674 • 7 DAYS A WEEK

The Alternative Resource durangoorganics.com

facebook.com/durangoorganics

�� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 9

[beer] Beer and Loathing in Durango Sean Moriarty

Pairing a disturbing classic film with the right hoppy beverage

eer pairs well with food, but have you ever thought about how it pairs with an experience? There are certain beers that lend well to different activities: Light beer after a hike on a sunny day, or a bourbon barrel-aged stout in front of a fire on a snowy one. Movies are no different. The feelings that a movie brings out of you can be complemented well with the right beverage, and I’ve decided to enjoy some of the classics in both realms.

“Seven” and Pliny the Elder Pliny The Elder from California’s Russian River Brewing Co. pours with

a golden, honey-like hue, and a light, fluffy head. It has an extremely floral nose with hints of pine. The first sip is very bitter – like grapefruit – which then gives way to a sweet piney flavor mixed with pineapple, and ultimately a crisp and bitter finish. This is one of the best Imperial IPAs in the known universe, and I can never, ever get enough of it. The pieces of this beer’s puzzle are all echoed in the film “Seven.”

Bitter at the beginning At the beginning of “Seven,” we are introduced to the film’s protagonist: Detective William Somerset, played by Morgan Freeman. We see him getting ready to go to work for a short bit before we enter his normal day on

the job – the scene of a homicide. A woman had shot and killed her husband during an argument. Somerset inquires of another detective as to whether their child had witnessed the murder, to which the detective replies: “What kind of f***in’ question is that? You know, we are all gonna be real glad when we get rid of you, Somerset, you know that? It’s always these questions with you. Did the kid see it? Who gives a f**k!? He’s dead. His wife killed him. Anything else has nothing to do with us.” Right at the beginning, a bitter taste in my mouth, just like the beer. A detective with a heart, wanting to know if a child may need help coping with one of his parents murdering the other, and the response he gets is pret-

ty much, “F*** you. You’re retiring soon. Not our problem.” I took a big swig of Pliny after I heard that, and could feel that other cop’s bitterness towards the world, as well as Somerset’s bitterness that the world was different now, and he wasn’t built for it anymore.

Sweetness Though this film is mostly suspenseful, horrifying, and harsh, there is one character who brings a bit of sweetness to it: Tracy Mills, played by Gwyneth Paltrow. She is the innocent wife of Detective David Mills, played by Brad Pitt. Throughout the film, her scenes seem to be the only ones with Continued on Page 11

10 | Thursday, April 5, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[drink]

The legend of the Purple F@!ker, Durango’s most infamous shot There are legends born in these hills – ghosts, outlaws, and heroes – but none are as famed as one radioactive cocktail found on Main Avenue: the Purple F@!ker. This drink has been altering states since 2005, when mad scientist Heidi Orio conceived it. Orio has been slinging drinks for over 20 years, working at Player’s Sports Bar until she and her husband bought it in 2002. They turned it into Orio’s Roadhouse, known simply as Roadhouse – the birthplace of the Purple F@!ker. The drink came about one auspicious day in 2005, after Orio’s supplier accidentally sent Grape Pucker to the bar, and she had to figure out how to sell it. Orio started experimenting with the drink in different forms, like a shooter or bomb shot, but eventually landed on a Mind Eraser-style shot (that’s why it comes on ice and with a straw). She started asking people, “Want a Purple F@!ker?” and serving it as a birthday drink for customers. It “caught on like wildfire,” she said. More than she would have ever expected. These days, people from all over the country come in for the drink. Bartender Edie Englesmen said once, while in Afghanistan, her husband met a couple from Florida who knew about the Purple F@!ker. Orio said she thinks people like it because of the name, which just came to her. “It just sort of rolled off my tongue,” she said. Although people often call it something else, like a “Purple Mother F@!ker” or “Purple Nurple,” the only people who don’t like saying “f@!ker” are the elderly. “My mom calls the Blue F@!ker a Blue Screw,” Englesman said. The Blue F@!ker is the second incarnation of the Purple F@!ker. It’s not as popular, but does the job just the same. (The Blue F@!ker’s hue may be a true example of the scientifically disputed indigo, proving it is, in fact, a real color.) Orio says the proprietary recipe won’t taste right if there is too much grape added, which will cause

From Page 10

any lighthearted feel to them. They are the ones that keep you grounded through the disturbing turmoil of the plot. Pliny The Elder’s sweet, piney, pineapple notes, hidden in a maze of pungent hop aromas and flavors, are exactly like Paltrow’s scenes in “Seven.”

Bitter in the end, too – SPOILERS! This beer, like this movie, started very bitter. They both continue bitter-

Jessie O’Brien/DGO

»» A lone Purple F@!ker at Orio’s Roadhouse. the drink to be very sweet on the first sip. Every once in a while, she’ll see one of her bartenders go a little heavy on the grape, but don’t even think about using that straw for stirring. Orio said the drink is meant to be sucked down as is, because the cocktail is layered. That’s why they can’t make them in bulk.

is 19, because that’s how far the soda gun reaches. The largest round they’ve sold was 29 f@!kers to 29 soon-to-be drunk f@!kers. Englesman said every time a customer orders a round, she’ll say she can only make that amount plus one more, implying the extra one is for her.

Englesman said the most they can make at a time

ly throughout the experience, while occasionally surrendering to a certain sweetness. In the end, though, bitterness had the upper hand. At the end of “Seven,” after it seems that Mills and Somerset have caught their man and justice has been served, all hell breaks loose. Apparently, the serial killer made Detective Mills part of his horrific masterpiece of pain and suffering. We find out that in order to finish his work covering all seven sins, Mills has to kill him (wrath). Turns out the killer was so jealous (envy) of Mills and his happy

home, he killed Mills’ wife and had her head sent to him in a box. As Mills realizes what is in the box, an overwhelming feeling of distress washed over me. The only light in this dark movie was now dead. Mills shot and killed the bad guy, meaning the killer won. Mills is going to jail, and this is the last case Somerset will ever work. It will haunt him forever. The film, like the beer, left a bitter, acerbic taste in my mouth. The sweetness I tasted and experienced via Paltrow’s scenes were now forgotten, and

—— Jessie O’Brien

all that was left was caustic. Pliny not only helped me enjoy this film in a completely different way, but also helped to dull the pain. Let us not forget that Imperial IPAs have a considerable amount of alcohol in them, alcohol that I needed to help me cope with the dark and depressing themes of “Seven.” Sean Moriarty has been drinking craft beer since before he was legally allowed to. He managed and bartended at Steamworks Brewing Co. from 2007-2017 and currently manages their digital marketing.

�� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 11

HIDDEN HISTORY »» From

a peeved ghost prostitute to naughty XXX tunnels, we’re uncovering the truth behind our town’s sordid history Jessie O’Brien DGO STAFF WRITER

n old towns, there is no shortage of stories, but whether they are true, or just old tall tales passed down from generation to generation, can be hard to decipher. “History is not an exact science, and it is rarely a black and white thing, so getting at the truth can be hard thing to do,” said Robert McDaniel, founding director of Animas Museum. With the help from local historians, we’re uncovering a few historical Durango myths, looking into local legends, and revisiting a spooky ghost car that’s still haunting today.

A lost mine A secret lies in a missing mine near Bear Creek, 30 miles north of Durango. In professional treasure hunter W. C Jameson’s book, “Colorado Treasure Tales,” he describes men who stumbled upon the mine teeming with not only gold, but horror. A prospector, whose name is no longer known, was wandering the foothills in search of gold, which led him to an abandoned mine shaft. It was here that the nameless prospector found tools scattered across the mine floor, along with other evidence that the mine was active. Deeper inside the dark shaft, the prospector found two piles of gold nuggets. But, as the prospector continued down the mine in search of the vein, he discovered three skeletons in ripped and tattered clothing. The prospector took what he could carry and sold the ore to a smelter for money. He left only cryptic details as to where the mine was located, and after leaving Durango, he was never seen again. In 1918, Pedro Martinez arrived in Durango with gold he wanted to sell. When asked where the gold was discovered, Martinez described the same details as the missing prospector had. Martinez refused to show anyone the location of the mine because he believed it was haunted. Each time Martinez appeared in

Durango, he brought the same gold to be converted. During his last trip to Durango, Martinez died of influenza, and the secret location of the mine went with him. Twenty years later, a sheepherder appeared with the same gold and the same story. He agreed to lead a party to the mine in exchange for cash, but on the way, the sheepherder insisted he was lost. The group of men threatened to have him killed, so that night, the sheepherder took his belongings and disappeared. To this day, the location of the mine and the identity of the three skeletons remains a mystery.

XXX tunnels Durango loves prostitution, in myth form or otherwise. “People like to glorify the lifestyle,” said Animas Museum Collections Manager Amber Lark. “We don’t need to romanticize things; we have plenty of other history that is just as interesting.” In reality, the lives of prostitutes in the 1800s were far from glamorous. The women often started working in a parlor house when they were young, and by the time they were 22-year-old hags, they were out on the streets. Most of the women contracted diseases and

ended up dead by age 30. There is a myth that the tunnels underneath some Main Avenue businesses were created so that upstanding, secretly philandering businessmen could meet with ladies of the night without being seen by other townspeople. The reality is that there are underground tunnels, but the “hidden tunnelways leading to prostitutes” business is probably not true. Downtown Durango was originally constructed in the 1880s, but most of the brick and stone buildings weren’t erected until after the 1889 fire that destroyed much of downtown. The buildings you see on Main Avenue today were built post-fire, with coal as the main source of heat. The tunnels were used as coal shoots to heat the buildings. But let’s say those coal shoots were built as a front for prostitution. Well, if the cops busted Mr. Perry with exposed ... sock suspenders ... he likely would have had nowhere underground to run. While some of the coal shoots were indeed connected underground, the majority were not, meaning the supposed XXX tunnels weren’t really a series of tunnels at all. And even if the theoretical Mr. Perry hdContinued on Page 14

Colossal Sanders for DGO

»» A beardeer (aka beer) seen in the outskirts of Durango

12 | Thursday, April 5, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

�� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 13

[Durango myths] From Page 13

been able to find a series of connected tunnels, he wouldn’t have been able to run through them – he would have had to crawl – and would have gotten covered in soot in the process. That’s not necessarily the look a revered businessman could have sported without some serious questions being asked of him. It likely wouldn’t have impressed the ladies at the parlor houses, either. “If you think about it, tunneling under the street, that would be an expensive, labor-intensive project to do, so why would you do it?” McDaniel said. “Nobody is going to do that so the upstanding banker can meet with a prostitute.” Also helping to debunk this myth is Durango’s geological landscape. Durango was carved out by old glaciers thousands of years ago, which is why you sometimes see boulders the size of homes in the area, McDaniel said. Chances are, those giant boulders can be found underground as well, and would obviously be difficult to tunnel through. But people do crazy things for love, right?

Peeved ghost prostitute There are plenty of ghost stories about Durango: The Strater Hotel and El Moro are rumored to be home to paranormal spooks and other haunting spirits. The train car at the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge museum is, too. Almost 20 years ago, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad Museum Curator, Jeff Ellingson, found the last immigrant sleeper car in existence wasting away in the elements. The forest green 460 Tourist Sleeper was built in 1883, and was taken out of service in 1900 before being recommissioned as a 10-car wrecking train, which was used to shuttle passengers involved in trainwrecks and help clear away the wreckage. When Ellingson found the car, it was in surprisingly great shape. That may be because the car’s inhabitant, Kate, a 15-year-old ghost prostitute, was taking care of her home while in everlasting limbo. The story goes something like this: A fireman was in love with a lovely young prostitute, and he snuck her onto the car packed with drunk, degenerate rail men. As the fireman shoveled coal, Kate was spotted by a mean brakeman who wanted to get down to business with the working girl. The fireman intervened, and it cost him his life, taken by the brakeman’s knife. In turn, the grief-stricken Kate poisoned herself with carbolic acid. After the car was placed inside the museum, visitors and museum personnel started reporting strange things occurring. At one point, museum workers had to move Kate’s sleeper car outside during a storm to protect the newly remodeled Silver Vista. That night, Ellingson got a call that there had been an explosion in the museum. Chief of security Roy McLaughlin determined that the doors on the bay that the Silver Vista was on – the green sleeper’s home – were blown open. There were no footprints in the snow, all the hardware from the doors was on the ground, and the bar that kept the door closed was bent at a 90 degree

DGO file

»» Inside the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad ghost car.

angle. Nothing else in the museum had been disturbed. Well, nothing other than Kate’s temper.

That’s not my name Things often get lost in translation, but in the case of the Animas River’s namesake, even some of the most esteemed Southwest historians have dropped the ball. Prior to any white settlers landing in Durango, the correct name – El Rio de las Animas, or the

River of the Souls or Spirits – appeared in Spanish explorers’ journals. This was first recorded in 1765 in Juan Maria Antonio de Rivera’s personal journal, and then later in Father Silvestre Velez de Escalante’s diary documenting the famous Dominguez-Escalante exhibition in August 1776. The correct name was also documented on early maps. But, 105 years later, the name shows up as the romanticized Rio de Las Animas Perdidas, or River of the LOST Souls. Some folks assume it’s because

14 | Thursday, April 5, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“perdidas” gives the name some mysterious pizazz. It’s also been hypothesized the name was confused with another Animas River – El Rio de Las Animas Perdidas en Purgatório – known today as the Purgatory River in Animas County. “They will give you these fictitious tales of why the river was named that. ... You’ll find some real garbage in there,” McDaniel said. “The Chamber of Commerce has been guilty of that. The phonebook’s town history section was great, so I can’t pin it on the phone book.” The earliest rogue “perdidas” reference McDaniel was able to track down was in travel writer Ernest Ingersoll’s 1880s travel log of journeys into the Colorado mountains. And today (spoiler alert), a Google search will lead you to a heap of false information. The wrong name is referenced on many fly fishing sites and also on durango.org. Two local historians, Duane Smith and Allen Nossaman, both used slightly different versions of the river’s original Spanish name in their books. In Smith’s book, “Rocky Mountain Boomtown,” the historian used a modified form of the river’s name. It’s unclear whether Smith opted to use an enhanced version, or if he was simply misinformed. Nossaman, on the other hand, inexplicably gives the wrong English translation for the river’s name in his book, “Many More Mountains.”

We don’t want your railroad

Find us at: 72 Suttle St. Unit B Bodo Park Durango 7 Days a Week

SOUTHWEST VAPOR Premium e-liquids, e-cigs, local glass, water pipes, dab rigs & accessories

SUTTLE STREET

~ And Many CBD Products~

EVERETT STREET

info@swvapor.com

OFFICE DEPOT

(BODO PARK)

Tinctures Edibles Lotions Concentrates 970-247-1261

72 SHUTTLE STREET UNIT B

The area’s best selection of vaping products

FRONTAGE ROAD

meeting ever actually occurred. History books help perpetuate the myth that there were negotiations between the railroad and Animas City, according to McDaniel, but Animas City was unwilling to meet the railroad’s demands. As a result, the railroad took steps to establish its own town. McDaniel believes, on the contrary, that it’s highly unlikely the railroad ever seriously met with or negotiated with Animas City’s town fathers to make it the railroad terminus. It would have been to the railroad’s advantage to develop its own townsite and control that development. There may be source material out there that confirms a meeting took place, McDaniel said via email, but he’s never seen it. Most importantly, the railroad would be the one to profit from the sale of town lots, coal lands, and agricultural lands near the townsite, McDaniel said. “The railroad never intended to make Animas City the railhead,” McDaniel said. According to Nossaman, the rumor that Animas City’s early town officials met with the railroad is “window dressing.”

HWY 550 (CAMINO DEL RIO)

Every day, Durango citizens get to hear the soothing hoot of the train making its way past the town. The distant howl is a reminder of why Durango is here – the railroad. There is a myth floating around that the town officials of Animas City – the original town two miles north of Durango – met with railroad officials in 1880 or 1881 to discuss making it the site of the depot, but the town didn’t want it. Why? “We have no idea,” Lark said. One hypothesis is that the myth appeared in 1948 when Animas City was annexed into Durango. Lark said at that point, Animas City would have sealed its own fate by not “wanting” the railroad. “This myth would have helped legitimize Durango as the dominant town,” she said. But there is a very slim chance this

BCI Media file

»» The remains of a tunnel under the sidewalk of Main Ave. in Durango next to the El Rancho Tavern.

LIGHT

�� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 15

[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

It’s time to find your green weed thumb and get growing

hink about what you were into at this time last year. Now bounce back 10 years – what were the things that consumed you? Maybe you were a badass cellist. Maybe you spent your middle and high school years cooped up in your room, running scales until your brain shut off and your fingers and soul took the controls. Maybe you had a plan to join with a few friends and make a new kind of music involving a cello, a guitar, a djembe, and your roommate, who – you discovered late, late, late one night – is a badass beatboxer. Maybe you even got together two or three times and started to make some cool sounds before someone got a new job, and someone else found a boyfriend or girlfriend and disappeared, so you went back to the daily grind – wake up, work, eat, veg out, sleep. Still, those few nights you spent breaking your routine opened up a space inside you that has been gently calling in moments of quiet boredom. Maybe you have an untapped aptitude for circuit boards. Somehow, though you have never spent much time on them, circuit boards make perfect sense to you. Or maybe you were hanging out in front of your fireplace this winter and realized that you can touch your heels to the back of your head … there are outlets for that. Cello worlds, circuit board worlds, and heels-to-head worlds, they are all out there. Springtime is here. Winter may weave itself into the next few weeks, but it is mostly over. This is the perfect time to make decisions about how we

Colo

s sa l S a

nders for DGO; image via A

k Stoc dobe

spend our future. It is time to look at what we have before us – the return of warmth, another season of growth. Soon we will have buds, and soon after, the leaves. The world is about to turn green again. The peepers are about to sing. I am going to make a suggestion, as I do around this time every year. I suggest you grow at least one cannabis plant.

You can do it. It’s pretty easy – easier than raising a kitten, and way easier than a puppy. It is a very similar workload to keeping a goldfish (and the average lifespan is about the same). The recipe is just sun, soil, wind, and water. There are dozens of ways to bring those elements together, and creating your own combination is your first step down the road to a new version of you, which may become interested in topics like notill gardening, brewing compost tea, and the light cycle needs of cannabis plants in both their vegetative and flowering states. You will make decisions on whether to go with an indica, a sativa, or a hybrid. You’ll check your little baby plant every day, making adjustments to the angle the light hits so that it fully develops, and gauging the distance of the oscillating fan aimed at it, so it allows the stalk to grow without drying out the soil too quickly. You’ll pull off leaves, rip them up a bit, and drop them back at the roots to let them self-mulch. The daily work can be done in as little as five or 10 minutes, but the whole experience will creep into places inside you that sympathize with the path we as a species have traveled, one that includes both ancient agricultural lifestyles and up-to-the-moment scientific advancements. It will connect you to nature. It will create a spark inside you that will eventually create an entirely new you. So, DGO, this is my pitch for 2018, my absolute best advice – get growing. You can thank me when it comes time to harvest. Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

16 | Thursday, April 5, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[review]

GG#4, a potent, sticky-icky strain of wonder Pro tip: If you’re going to spark up some GG#4, it might be a good idea to grab the remote beforehand. Why, you ask? Well, because GG#4 will mellow you to the max. As in, you might find yourself too mellow to care about grabbing the remote, and will be content to watch “Jersey Shore” reruns instead. Not that the mellow part is a bad thing. (I’ll let you make your own decisions on the “Jersey Shore” marathon.) It’s what GG#4 – a cross between Chem’s Sister, Sour Dubb, and Chocolate Diesel – is known for. The Diesel-heavy, indica-heavy strain has become highly sought after by cannoisseurs, thanks to its mellow body and head high. While I knew that most people like GG#4, I was a little nervous about reviewing an indica-dominant strain. If you’ve read my prior musings, you probably know that I’m a big ol’ pansy about indicas. I’ll tell you right now, though, that after a couple of rounds, the only fear I have is that I might be turning into an indica convert. This stuff is great.

But not only is GG#4 great, it’s also very distinct, both in aroma and otherwise. When I popped open the lid, my counterpart, who was unaware of what strain was hiding in the canister, yelped: “That’s Gorilla Glue. I’d know that smell anywhere.” While it’s not technically Gorilla Glue – the strain was dubbed GG#4 after trademark issues – I was impressed with her sniffing skillz. It wouldn’t be difficult to identify GG#4 by the smell, though. The aroma of this strain is strong and earthy, with hints of chocolate, pepper, and coffee. It’s really quite pleasant. The structure of GG#4’s buds are equally unique. They’re chunky and pale green in color, thanks to an abundance of white trichomes layering the surface. If you look closely, you can find little wisps of purple hairs throughout. At first, the buds felt a little dusty, but as I pushed them into the pipe, I found they’re also dense and sticky. Like, very sticky. Ol’ “Sticky-Icky-Icky” Snoop Dogg

would be impressed, me thinks. And, I’d venture to guess Snoop would also be impressed with GG#4’s effects, too. “Jersey Shore” marathon aside, the effects of this strain relieved me of work and life stressors in a near instant. I did have a head high, but in this case, I dug it. After two bowls, I wasn’t too stoned to move (I just didn’t want to), nor was I overly sleepy. I was content to watch junk TV, but sometimes you need the mental break. I could smoke this strain right before bed and let it lull me into a deep sleep, or I could partake mid-day and still get shit done. That’s pretty brilliant, you guys. I can see why GG#4 has become a cannabis fan favorite. This strain does such a nice job of straddling the indica-sativa fence, and is one of the most versatile strains I’ve had the pleasure of encountering. It’s kind of like a weed version of those old “choose your own adventure” books, which, I suppose, is precisely what a good hybrid should be. —— DGO Pufnstuf

Details Where to find GG#4: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino Del Rio, 970-385-8622, prohibitionherb.com Price: $8 a gram; $28 an eighth; available in both medical and recreational. Caveats: Prohibition Herb provided this sample for review purposes, but didn’t fill the bag with dollar, dollar bills to influence our opinions.

�� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 17

[advice]

Life Hax | Carolyn Hax

Multiple guys are vying for my affection. How do I decide? I was in a long-term relationship that ended about six months ago, so I haven’t dated in nearly a decade. I have a few guys who are sort of vying for my affection (jeez that feels self-important to type). How does one decide?

wrong career for, well, my whole career, I have made the decision to apply to full-time business school. It’s scary and exciting, and something that will likely take me away from my hometown, where I have lived since college.

I am interested in having a family and, since I’m 30, I feel a little pressure to find someone I want to start a life with sooner rather than later. I just feel like I don’t know what I’m doing at all.

The problem is that I’m the oldest of two daughters – always the dutiful daughter, always available to drop everything to tend to my parents’ (especially mother’s) needs. My free-spirit little sister, meanwhile, has lived all over Europe for the past 10-plus years, much to my envy. My mom has always been extremely anxious and needy, which is getting worse with age.

Finding a Partner Good. That might be what saves you from yourself. Because as much as we like to be in control of what we do, we don’t always “decide” things in our own best interests. If you, say, start evaluating your suitors using a side-by-side comparison, then you could easily miss that none of them is right for you. Same if you weigh them just as potential dads. If you pick a favorite and then date him exclusively to see how things go: You could feel committed even when your heart isn’t there yet, then set aside various doubts because they’re too messy/premature to deal with, then find yourself months or years down the road in a life you built on what was essentially an adult version of rock-paper-scissors. You don’t know what you’re doing. That’s OK. Own that. And who really does know, anyway? You just know you, better than you did a decade ago. So don’t “do” anything besides live your life in service of its two appropriate masters: decency, and you. Do what’s right and what’s right for you. Repeat, repeat, repeat. A goal or even desire to find a life partner before your fertility expires gives you incentive to live and judge and choose in service of that, versus of who you are. Living in service of who you are doesn’t mean you forgo dating or suitors or wanting someday to have kids. As long as you want these things, they’re included in who you are – as a logical and meaningful part of a complicated whole, just as a good life partner would be. A firm dedication to living your own life on your own terms isn’t just freeing; it’s the best filter any of us has to catch people and decisions that are fundamentally incompatible with who we are. I am in my late 30s, and after being stuck in the

I now feel guilty for even considering a move that could take us 700 miles away, much less to my dream school that’s in Paris. My dad’s shell-shocked looks and my mom’s ever-present, anxious “What if there’s an emergency?” comments make me question if I should even do this. I would deeply regret missing an adventure in a whole new setting, but I also would deeply regret missing potentially the last moments of my parents’ lives. Being the oldest child is hard. Advice, please! Quandary Wait – no. Being the older child who has been manipulated into believing it is her responsibility to take care of her as-far-as-I-can-tell-still-perfectly-capable parents while her younger sibling enjoys the freedom of complete autonomy and zero family expectations is hard. Maybe you prefer not to be that wordy. Fair enough. But your six-word version is simply not accurate. Firstborns have their challenges, sure – as do middles and youngests – but to see this narrowly as a birth-order issue is to miss the broad scope of what’s really going on. Your parents groomed you to serve them, expect you to serve them, and used their emotional leverage to keep you close enough geographically to serve them. Because doing that to you SERVES THEM. Why weren’t they focused on providing you with whatever was healthy for you? To give them the benefit of the doubt, I’ll hope this firstborn thing is a cultural expectation handed down by their parents’ parents’ parents, and their fault is only in not questioning its fairness and present-day relevance. But when your dreams are on the table and they opt not to support them – when they deny Daughter A the same fulfillment they grant Daughter B – my

generosity curdles fast. At this point, you probably struggle to distinguish between what they want from you and what you want for yourself. If so, that’s not your fault; it’s the guilt they’ve embedded in you. (Easy installation!: (1) Set expectation. (2) Withhold love when expectation isn’t met. (3) Repeat. Enjoy lifetime guilt supply.) Sad fact: Caring for parents when the time comes can be a sacred and beautiful task, ENTERED FREELY AND WITH LOVE. Manipulating a child into it erases all choice, and the beauty with it. You are so invested in this dynamic that you might need good therapy to untangle yourself – not because you can’t physically get to Paris, but because guilt strings can choke off your joy supply whatever you do, home or abroad. If you foresee eternal self-flagellation should something happen to a parent while you’re busy living your life, then please – PLEASE – make an appointment today. A few months ago, our teenage daughter said she wanted to try therapy. She didn’t have any obviously threatening issues, like eating disorders or cutting. We said, fine, here are some choices in our insurance plan, see who seems best to you, or just tell us how you want it to fit into your schedule and we’ll go from there. Since then, she’s said nothing about it, and she seems fine – she’s still socializing, getting good grades, etc. We can’t tell if she is just being a changeable teen, or if she is rejecting help she really needs. Any suggestions? Going From There Ask her directly if she’s still interested in trying therapy, noting that you didn’t want to assume anything based on her decision not to follow up. It’s OK to be a little more proactive; if she says yes, she’s still interested, then say you’re going to book an intro appointment with one of the choices on your insurance plan, unless she says otherwise. Even fully grown and independent adults struggle with those last steps of choosing a provider and making the time to go. It’s significant that she found the courage to ask. Make it easy for her now. Carolyn Hax is a syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post. She started her advice column in 1997, after five years as a copy editor and news editor in Style and none as a therapist. Email her at tellme@washpost. com.

�� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 18

[happening]

DGO’s picks in and around Durango Musical feast Have a classy night out to benefit young musicians. Nonprofit iAM MUSIC and Local First host an evening of wine, food, and music pairings on the Eolus rooftop. All the proceeds go to support musician scholarships. Details: April 5, $150, 6 p.m., Eolus Bar & Dining, 919 Main Ave., iammusic.us

Thursday Toddler story time, 10:30 a.m.,

Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. Montezuma County Republican Central Committee meeting, noon, Shiloh Steak-

house, 5 S. Veach St., Cortez. Creativity Festivity, 4 p.m., $0-

$13, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606. Pete Giuliani Trio, 5 p.m., Ska

Brewing Co., 225 Girard St., 2475792.

Firkin delicious

Jason Thies, 5 p.m., Durango

Steamworks taps a new firkin dubbed Sweet Ginger, made with their Third Eye P.A. and ginger puree. Firkin brews are unpasteurized, unfiltered, and cask-conditioned (carbonated in the cask). Because there are no preservatives, the beer is designed to be used quickly after tapping, so drink up.

Tim Sullivan, 5:30 p.m., Dia-

Details: April 6, 3 p.m., 21 and up, Steamworks, 801 East Second Ave., steamworksbrewing.com

Durango voices The 3rd Annual Durango Voice, a fundraiser for Manna, is back with the finals competition, where 13 local singers will compete not only for prizes, but to help raise money for a good cause. on Saturday, April 7. The event takes place at The Henry Strater Theatre. Doors 6:30, show starts at 7. Details: April 7, $35/$65, 6:30 p.m., Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., henrystratertheatre.com

Brewing Co., 3000 Main Ave. mond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Open mic night, 6 p.m., Eno Cocktail Lounge and Wine Bar, 723 East Second Ave., 385-0105.

Zumba Gold, 9:30 a.m., Durango/La Plata Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave., 382-6428. Creativity Festivity, 10 a.m., $0-

$13, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606. Preschool story time, 10:30

11th Street Station, 1101 Main Ave. STEAM Lab, 3:30 p.m., Durango

Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380. Power Up the LPEA Election!, 5 p.m., Powerhouse Science

Center, 1333 Camino del Rio, 2599234. StillHouse Junkies, 5:30 p.m.,

Durango Crafts Spirit, 1120 Main Ave. Donny Johnson, 5:30 p.m., Dia-

mond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Karaoke, 7 p.m., Durango Veter-

ans of Foreign Wars, 1550 Main Ave. Robby Overfield, 7 p.m., Office

Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260. Cinematica, 9:30 p.m., Balcony

Backstage, 600 Main Ave.

Saturday The Durango Voice Finals,

6:30 a.m., $35, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160. Creativity Festivity, 10 a.m., $0-

$13, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606. Book launch: Twisted Oak

“And a Little Child Shall Leave Us – Where?” conversation, 6:30 p.m., St. Barnabas

Hawaiian hula dance workshop, 1 p.m., $36, Smiley Building,

Wednesday

1309 East Third Ave., 382-9593.

Creativity Festivity, 10 a.m., $0-

Durango Reproductive Rights Road Show, 1:30 p.m.,

$13, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave.

Fired Up story time, 10:30 a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Kirk James, 5:30 p.m., Digs

Restaurant and Bar, 125 Mercado St. Mike Testa, 5:30 p.m., Diamond

Green Business Roundtable: River of Lost Souls, noon,

Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 2474431.

$17-$22, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

T(w)een Time, 4 p.m., Durango

Chain Station, 9:30 p.m., Balco-

Trails 2000 “Trails and Ales” party, 4 p.m., Carver Brewing Co.,

Creativity Festivity, 10 a.m., $0-

Friday

Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 4031200.

Episcopal Church, 110 W. North St., Cortez.

Jack Ellis, 7 p.m., Office Spiritori-

um, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

Tuesday jam, 6 p.m., Irish

Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave.

Sunday

Yoga and a Beer, noon, $12,

Details: April 11, 4 p.m., 21 and up, Carver Brewing Co., 1022 Main Ave., trails2000.org

Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m., Jean

Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio.

We may be landlocked, but that doesn’t mean we can’t dance to the motion of the ocean. Learn how to hula at the Ananda Foley Studio’s Hawaiian Hula Dance workshop. Be sure to pre-register for class with the details below.

Trail education and maintenance nonprofit, Trails 2000, hosts their annual Trails and Ales party at Carver Brewing. There will be a silent auction, chili, and a brew or wine for anyone who donates to the cause.

River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

ny Backstage, 600 Main Ave.

Island vibes

Ales for Trails

Tour De Domes, 10 a.m., Pine

Introduction to Electronics, 6 p.m., $20-$40, Powerhouse

a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave.

Details: April 7, $40, 1 p.m., all ages, Ananda Foley Studio in the Smiley Building, 1309 East Third Ave., anandafoleystudio. com

by Kristina Munroe, 10 a.m., Smiley Cafe, 1309 East Third Ave.

$13, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606. Montezuma community barn dance, 3 p.m., $5-$25, Leg-

acy Dance, 20 W. Main St., Cortez. Ukulele jam, 4 p.m., Magpies

Newsstand Cafe, 707 Main Ave. Cocktails with the Conductor, 6 p.m., $50, Sorrel Sky Gallery,

828 Main Ave., 247-3555. The Bluemoon Ramblers,

7 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Monday Creativity Festivity, 10 a.m., $0-

Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave.

1022 Main Ave., 259-2545. Happy hour with Nina Sasaki, 5 p.m., Rochester Hotel, 726 East

Second Ave., 385-1920. SMART Recovery Durango,

5:30 p.m., Suttle Street Clinic, 72 Suttle Street, Suite M. Greg Ryder, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 2474431. Pete Neds and Friends, 6 p.m., Durango Veterans of Foreign Wars, 1550 Main Ave. Neva Romero: Jamas Olvidados, 6 p.m., Ignacio Community

Library, 470 Goddard Ave., Ignacio. Terry Rickard, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 3757260.

$13, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

“1917-1918 Flu Epidemic: How the D&SNRR Helped it Spread” lecture, 7 p.m., Fort

Thrive! Living Wage Coalition meeting, 5:30 p.m., Com-

Lewis College, Center of Southwest Studies, 1000 Rim Drive.

mons Building, 701 Camino del Rio.

I’m with Her, 7:30 p.m., $32-$48, Fort Lewis College, Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Pro Se divorce and custody clinic, 5:30 p.m., Durango Public

Library, 1900 East Third Ave. Introduction to Laser Cutting, 6 p.m., $20-$40, Powerhouse

Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio.

Tuesday Southwest Campus Job Fair,

9 a.m., Southwest Colorado Community College, 33057 U.S. Highway 160, Mancos. Creativity Festivity, 10 a.m., $0-

$13, Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606. Baby story time, 2 p.m., Duran-

go Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380. Professional Women’s Network event, 5 p.m., $10, Steaming

Bean, 900 Main Ave.

Ongoing An exhibit, “Sue Buchanan (1928-

2014): A selection from 50 years of work,” will be on display through April 21 in the Friends of the Art Library gallery at Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www. dgomag.com, visit www.

swscene.com, click “Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form and submit. Listings at www.swscene.com will appear on www.dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www.swscene.com is free and takes one day to process.

�� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 19

DEALS

3 COURSE DINNER for $25.00!

725 E 2nd Ave Durango, CO 81301 (970) 385-6884 Closed Sunday

723 E 2nd Ave Durango, CO 81301 (970) 385-0105

Enjoy an appetizer, entree and dessert all for $25.00 Choose from our weekly selections. Expiration Date: 04/30/18 Offer cannot be combined with other promotions. Not valid on holidays.

Cliffrose

GARDEN CENTER & GIFTS

CELEBRATE EARTH DAY!

APRIL 22

Dog & Cat Food & Supplies Grooming & Dog Wash • Boarding Day Care

D G O

BOGO!

Buy one get one Somm’s choice wine.

Expiration Date: 04/30/18 Offer cannot be combined with other promotions. Not valid on holidays.

CLIFFROSE ON MARKET

Cliffrose Garden Center

15% OFF POTTERY OFF BUY 1, GET 1 FREE 15% FRUIT TREES SEED PACKS

LILACS & FORSYTHIA

*of equal or lesser value

101 N Market St • Cortez, CO

970.565.2099

Expiration Date: 04/30/18 Must present coupon at time of purchase. Not valid with any other offer.

27885 HW 160 • Cortez, CO

970.565.8994

Expiration Date: 04/30/18 Must present coupon at time of purchase. Not valid with any other offer.

April Special

Buy one cat or dog toy and get a second toy HALF OFF!

21738 Hwy 160W, Durango

970.375.9700

healthyhoundsandfatcats.com

Discount applies to the less expensive toy. Expires 04/30/18. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Other restrictions may apply.

279812

BUY 4 TIRES

(970) 247-9068

GET A FREE

ALIGNMENT OR OIL CHANGE* www.treadworks.com 1776 Main Ave · Durango, CO

Expiration Date: 05/15/2018 *Not valid with any other discount or promotion. Must present coupon at time of purchase. Oil change-up to 5 quarts of standard oil. Diesels excluded.

281262

To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 20 | Thursday, April 5, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

CAN YOU BELIEVE THESE SPRING SERVICE SPECIALS? LUBE, OIL & FILTER

Any Make/Any Model (970) 259-3940 • 20704 Highway 160 West Durango

1295

D G O

OPEN SATURDAYS FOR FULL SERVICE 8AM-5PM

TIRE ROTATION SPECIAL

995

REG. $39.95

REG. $19.95

ONLY ONE COUPON PER VISIT. MUST BE PRESENT AT TIME OF WRITE UP. EXCLUDES TAX AND SHOP SUPPLIES. UP TO 6 QTS SYNTHETIC BLEND CONVENTIONAL MOTOR OIL. INCLUDES OIL, FILTER & LABOR. EXCLUDES DIESELS. SEE DEAALER FOR DETAILS. CANNOT BE COMBINED WITH OTHER OFFERS. EXPIRES 05/31/18

ONLY ONE COUPON PER VISIT. MUST BE PRESENT AT TIME OF WRITE UP. EXCLUDES TAX AND SHOP SUPPLIES. SEE DEALER FOR DETAILS. EXCLUDES DUALLYS. CANNOT BE COMBINED WITH OTHER OFFERS. EXPIRES 05/31/18

EARLY BIRD SPECIALS

8'x12' - 1,599 • 10'x12' - $1,999• 12'x16' - $2,999 $

Everything built on site with a standard 7’ wall and metal roofing.

FIND US ON FACEBOOK!

LOCALLY OWNED & OPERATED Expiration Date: 04/30/18

281269

RICHLAND RICHLAND LANDSCAPING LANDSCAPING •

40 years experience! Free Estimates & Design 970-749-4288

20%OFF

ALL LANDSCAPING SERVICES ALL PROJECTS UNDER $499

10%OFF

ALL PROJECTS OVER $500 RECEIVE 10% Expiration Date: 04/30/18

Expires: 04/30/2018

281273

Expires: 04/30/2018

DEALS

All Phases of Landscaping & Design Sprinkler Installation • Flagstone Patios • Cedar Fencing • Veteran & Senior Discounts •

To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 �� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 21

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19)

approval.

It’s another challenging week. Do not go up against authority figures this week because they will not give you permission or approval. Their response will be, “Talk to the hand.”

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22)

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Once again, this is a poor week to discuss controversial subjects. Authority figures will somehow block your wishes or shut you down. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Someone older or in a position of power might rain on your parade this week. This does not mean you have to listen to them. It also does not mean they know more than you. CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

Discussions with bosses and parents might discourage you this week. Don’t take this personally. This certainly is not the week to ask for permission or

Travel plans will be onerous and challenging this week. In addition, issues related to publishing, medicine, the law and higher education will arise. Be patient. VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) You might be dissatisfied with your share of something that is divided. This could be an inheritance, insurance payout or money back from the government. LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) A partner or close friend might disappoint you this week because all he or she talks about is why something can’t be done instead of why it can be done. This negativity will get you down. SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) Someone might be critical of your

efforts at work this week. Criticism is always discouraging. People need praise! SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Children might be an increased responsibility this week, or perhaps a romantic partner becomes critical of you. Even vacation plans are challenging. Things will look better in the next few weeks. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) An authority figure at home might be critical of you this week. You also might attempt a repair project and find that it’s too challenging. This is just a temporary setback. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) This week, things look worse than they really are. Unfortunately, everyone around you feels the same way. Have

courage! PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) You might feel broke this week. Why is there always so much month left at the end of the money? Fear not – during the next few days, you will feel richer and happier! (It’s guaranteed.) BORN THIS WEEK You are extroverted but self-contained. You’re bright and free-spirited. Because you are open-minded, you find it easy to be friendly to everyone. This is a wait-and-see year that is slower paced. You need rest and rejuvenation. It’s a time of cooperation with others. Focus on business and personal relationships. Look for ways to practice kindness and be helpful toward others. Be calm, cool and pleasant. © 2018 King Features Syndicate Inc.

[Random Durango factoids that aren’t myths] Flu fails The Spanish influenza epidemic hit the Durango area in 1918 and 1919, and five of every 75 people died. A whopping 10 percent of the population of Silverton died in a matter of weeks.

Fort Lewis origins Fort Lewis College originally started as a boarding school for Indian children, and was located on the Southern Ute Reservation about 16 miles southwest of Durango. The school opened in 1892 with 51 students, and a goal to educate and “civilize” Indians.

Durango Dems Prior to being dubbed the Durango Herald, the town’s paper was called the Durango Democrat. The printing press was buried under the concrete of the walk-in cooler of Carver’s Restaurant. No word on whether the journalists and press workers snagged some sweet beer from Carver’s on press days.

22 | Thursday, April 5, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[pics]

GREEN GATHERING

DGO photo contributor Lucy Schaefer got a little zen and health-conscious at the 3rd Annual Green Man Gathering at Buckley Park over the weekend. For more photos, go to dgomag.com

�� Thursday, April 5, 2018 | 23

L W CRA

Thank you

to our sponsors and participants for making our first Cannabis Crawl a HUGE Success!

Title Sponsor:

Participants: Colorado Grow Co Durango Organics Durango Rec Room Rocky Mountain Hight Sante

Comedy Sponsor:

The Delta 9 Depot Coud 9 Head Shop The Greenery Whoopi & Maya Telluride Bud Company Prohibition Herb Vape Durango