Dive Bars: A Guide by Ballantine Communications

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, April 12, 2018

DGO

FREE!

Drink like a regular at the area’s well-worn watering holes

DIVE BARS: A GUIDE

dgomag.com

Also: The usefulness of hemp, rating hazy IPAs, The Office’s fat-washed cocktail, and East Coast Sour Diesel reviewed

DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 3 Number 25 Thursday, April 12, 2018

Editor Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer Jessie O’Brien jobrien@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko 375-4553 Contributors Katie Cahill Christopher Gallagher Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch Brett Massé Lindsay Mattison Sean Moriarty Lucy Schaefer Cooper Stapleton Robert Alan Wendeborn Editor-at-Large David Holub Design/layout Colossal Sanders Reader Services 375-4570 Chief Executive Officer Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising David Habrat Founding Editors Amy Maestas David Holub

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

Lucy Schaefer/Special to DGO

Travel

Gaming

Cannabis

Sound

Downtown Lowdown

Album Reviews 9 10 Drink

First Draughts 10

Drink recipe 11

16 Weed

Seeing Through the Smoke 16 Reviews 17

Strong and gentle hemp

18 Life Hax

Hemp and marijuana both have tortured pasts. Both are part of the cannabis family, and both were outlawed, but the prohibition of hemp is even more bewildering than marijuana.

19 Happening 20 DGO Deals 22 Horoscope/ puzzles 23 Pics

/dgomag

10 Old school reggae Call them American ambassadors or history teachers of old school reggae, enlightening people to its obscure, important creators.

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

n go o ,C

$95 DINNER FOR TWO

/dgomag

ON THE COVER It’s amazing how many details you notice at a place when you really look, even if you’ve been there 100 times. David Holub and Colossal Sanders for DGO

Durango’s Favorite

Salad Bar

Dinner for Two * just $65 do

970-259-3417

r pe

ed Snap eR

Until the end of April Expiration Date: 04/30/18

DGO photo contributor Lucy Schaefer perused Main Avenue over the weekend. Check out the photos on Page 23 and many more at dgomag.com

Accepting Reservations

NOW!

Main stay

a lor

144 E. 9th St. - Historic Downtown Durango - redsnapperdurango.com *Taxes & gratuities are not included.

@dgo_mag Tell us what you think! Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@ dgomag.com

Serving Fresh

Seafood & Steaks for over 33 years

One Bottle of Wine One Appetizer Salad Bar Two Entrees One Dessert

Happy Hour 4-6pm Weekdays Half-Price Appetizers & $1 Off All Drinks

144 E. 9th St. - Historic Downtown Durango - www.redsnapperdurango.com

�� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 3

@dg

[language]

[travel]

The ancient ruins of Hovenweep Distance and travel time from Durango: 90 miles, 1 hour and 43 minutes by car. The shell of an ancient civilization sits on the Utah-Colorado border. According to the National Park Service website, Hovenweep was first inhabited over 10,000 years ago as a place for Paleo-Indians, who would hunt and gather in the area following seasonal weather pattern. Puebloans made the site a permanent home for their farming community in 900 GET OUTTA A.D. TOWN While we can only imagine what civilization was like during this time, one thing we do know is that the ancestral Puebloans were skilled architects. Parts of the towers found on the site that were built between 1200 and 1300 A.D remain today. (Luckily, our McMansions and IKEA furniture are sure to leave zero trace of modern day America.) There are a variety of designs of the towers, as well as many ceremonial structures known as kivas. Quirky & cool spots in the Four Corners and beyond

Colossal Sanders for DGO; image via Wikipedia

Will Valley Girl speak become a permanent part of American dialect?

A word that, like, invaded speech Of all the verbal tics, there is one that is, like, really annoying. The word “like” has crept into the middle of many sentences as a filler word, used in lieu of non-word fillers like “um” or “uh.” It’s being used instead of “said,” like when FDR said to his buddies, “And I was like, ‘The only thing to fear is fear itself.’” Once you start hearing it, it’s difficult to focus on anything else. But using “like” isn’t new. Jennifer Gehrman Seis is a professor of History of English Language and Linguistics at Fort Lewis College. She said the word has been around since the beginning of the English language, as a preposition and conjunction to express similarity and other meanings. “Surprisingly, people started using it as a filler word in the 1700s,” Gehrman Seis said. Except someone from that time would use it at the end of a sentence such as, “Give me liberty or give me death, like!” Gehrman Seis said using “like” emerged in the 1950s, and caught on with the counterculture beatniks of the ’60s. It was later adopted as Valley Girl-speak (i.e., like, gag me with a spoon). Other words similar to like are “right” or “OK” (or as Mr. Mackey would say, “Drugs are bad, mm’kay”).

Gehrman Seis said uncontrolled “likes” are more prevalent in younger peoples’ speech patterns.“It is a marker of insecurity because you are (uncomfortable) to leave dead air or dead space,” she said.

According to the National Park Service website, there are are multiple theories as to what the towers were used for, such as celestial observatories, homes, storage, or defense structures. The name “Hovenweep” means “deserted valley” in Ute and Paiute. The ancient ghost town was dubbed this in the late 1800s. It is hypothesized that the community was forced to abandon their home due to warfare, along with a prolonged drought and lack of resources. The Puebloans migrated to New Mexico Little Colorado River Basin in Arizona. The Pueblo, Zuni, and Hopi of today are descendants of this community. —— Jessie O’Brien

We catch on to other people’s behavior and mimic them. Gehrman Seis said this is how language functions and dialects develop. She doesn’t know for sure if “like” is becoming more prevalent – there hasn’t been any research on it – but one of two things will happen: It will die out or become acceptable. Gehrman Seis predicts the former. “It is not that notable in writing. That’s what keeps language stable, because we are such a literate culture,” she said. If you do notice Tourettes-style “likes” taking over your own language, Gehrman Seis said to slow down, pause, and learn to live with the silence. “The silence is more disturbing to you than your audience,” she said. She said it is worth paying attention to, especially when you are trying to sound professional, but we need to launch any national campaigns. But that’s, just like, her opinion, man. —— Jessie O’Brien

Wikipedia

4 | Thursday, April 12, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[gaming]

Extra Life | Brett Massé

‘Night in the Woods’ offers a bittersweet message on life

hings regularly seem to fall apart. Or rather, our expectations frequently don’t seem to match up with outcomes. I remember thinking it was sad when Shred Shed closed. The circumstances surrounding its closure were sad, as was the underlying knowledge that a staple of my youth, a constant in my life, was now gone. This sensation may be familiar to you. Maybe for you it was the bowling alley closing, or the Abbey, Farquart’s, Stonehouse, Scootin’ Blues, Le Rendezvous, or even Bilbo’s. Maybe it’s Katzin’s. Little by little, the parts of our lives that help define our own past – our identity – change and disappear. “Night in the Woods,” by Infinite Fall, explores this sensation on multiple levels, from design mechanics to plot. The player assumes the role of Mae, a second year college dropout returning home to hang out with her friends and go back to the way her life used to be. Perhaps the story is different for everyone, but the themes of struggling with change – especially in something that used to feel so constant like your hometown, or even your faith in a religion – strike familiar chords. The game is a side-scrolling platformer that is driven heavily by the narrative. Think of it as a kind of interactive, coming of age, ghost story. Oh, all the characters are animals too, driving that

storybook feel even further. The associations with the game’s themes might not have really landed as heavily had the characters been human. Something about our associative minds sometimes work a little more effectively in metaphors. One of the first things you may notice, whether subconsciously or not, is the layout of the levels leading from right to left. In fact, much of the game is seemingly pointed “backward,” which fits with Mae’s desire to go back to the past, go back to her old life, go back to her old friends. Naturally, you might guess, everything has changed. Stores have closed, jobs have dried up, people have grown up and moved on, and even the church is struggling with change. What at first felt like a fun story to act through, gradually began feeling very personal. Alluded to at various points in the game, we eventually learn that Mae went through a dissociative episode that resulted in her badly hurting another person. She talks about things that she used to be attached to becoming “just shapes” without meaning. The sensation terrifies her and she lashes out in fear. This idea of association and the dangers we face when applying meaning to things, or lack of meaning, is further explored later in the game when you are stargazing with a friend, talking about the constellations and the stories behind them. They are, after all, just

shapes that are then turned into people with stories, and it’s our responsibility to put the work in to find what they mean to us, rather than what we mean to them. Understandably, everything is framed through the dramatic lens of the question, “What has changed?” That’s more or less how we deal with our day to day lives, or how we consume news and media. Yet, as the game shows us through the storyline, the things that matter most are the relationships we have and maintain with others. Indeed, they are the only real thing you have any agency over in the game. The stores may have closed, people may have moved on, their stories may have come to an end, and perhaps there’s some ancient beast haunting your entire town, all of which you may have an illusion of control over, but it’s just that – an illusion. For me, “Night in the Woods” offers a bittersweet message: Life and the inevitability of death are as constant as the stars and constellations that don’t care about us, but we can care for each other. We can’t choose how things will happen, but we can choose how to move forward. As in the game’s tagline, “At the end of everything, hold on to anything.” Brett Massé is currently playing The Addams Family Pinball Machine.

»» A screenshot for “Night in the Woods.”

�� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 5

[cannabis]

Strong and gentle hemp

»» After decades of prohibition, folks are wising up to the usefulness of the harmless plant Jessie O’Brien DGO STAFF WRITER

Hemp and marijuana both have tortured pasts. Both are part of the cannabis family, and both were outlawed in the 1930s, but when examined, the prohibition of hemp is even more bewildering than marijuana. Unlike marijuana, hemp contains an insignificant amount of THC, the psychoactive component found in marijuana. But due to lack of understanding of the different plants, and perhaps a few proper early ’30s conspiracies, the U.S. government banned all cannabis plants, including hemp, despite its innocuous nature. It remains guilty by association to this day. “Reefer madness fueled the demise of hemp,” said Derek MacGuffie, who co-owns Durango’s Kind Hemp Co. with Savannah Hargis. Their business sells hemp-made products. Hemp is prized for its oils, seeds, and fibers, which can be used in food, clothing, as paper, plastic, and in body products, and thousands of other things, except for one: getting high. Hemp also naturally produces CBD oil, which can be used to improve appetite, pain sensation, mood, memory, immune system functions, and inflammation, but without psychoactive effects. It is – just to reiterate – impossible to get high from hemp. It would have been safer for the feds to outlaw cacti for its sharp spikes. A number of catalysts came into play in the repression of hemp, including the threat to competing industries. “Competing industries saw hemp was a threat to their businesses,” MacGuffie said. While the facts are debatable, there are claims that newspaper mogul William Randolph Hearst, who owned hundreds of acres in timberland and invested in paper companies during the ’30s, smeared hemp using media propaganda, or “yellow journalism.” The other claims focus on DuPont chemical company, which at the time of hemp’s outlawing had just invented a nylon that would compete with hemp fibers. It is unclear whether these claims, most notably stated in famed cannabis advocate Jack Herer’s book, “The Emperor Wears No Clothes,” are true. Whatever the actual driving force was behind the ban on hemp, it worked. The ban has effectively lasted the last 80 or so years, and although there has been progress in releasing hemp from the legal confines, it has been a slow process. The 2014 Farm Bill, a piece of legislation pushed by Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell, allowed state agriculture departments to proceed with a limited number of hemp research and production projects. Since then, 34 states have authorized research and 19 are producing hemp, according to a recent Time article. Still, the production is only happening in small amounts. Hemp production totaled just 25,541 acres in 2017. McConnell is currently pushing a bipartisan bill,

Colossal Sanders for DGO; photo via Vote Hemp

»» A hemp field in Canada comes into maturity. The Hemp Farming act of 2018, to have hemp completely removed from the controlled substance list so the plant can be farmed like any other agricultural commodity. Kind Hemp Co., a local hemp-based apparel business based, is one of the few American brands utilizing the product. They were drawn to the material after realizing how much of a polluter the apparel industry is – the second largest polluter, just behind big oil. There is a long, complicated chain of production in the fashion industry that attributes to co2 emissions. Another issue stems from growing cotton, which makes up about 40 percent of the material used in the fashion industry. Temperamental cotton accounts for “only 2.4 percent of the world’s cropland... (yet) it consumes 10 percent of all agricultural chemicals and 25 percent of insecticides,” according to Alternet. Hemp, on the other hand, does much less damage. “Hemp conserves water,” MacGuffie says. “It needs four times less water to grow than cotton and does not need pesticides.” “Hemp fibers are naturally anti-bacterial and also durable,” MacGuffie said. Once the ban on hemp has been fully lifted, one of the main uses may be as a building material. The core of the hemp, the hurd, is extremely strong and can be used as filler in insulation. Hempcrete, a start-up out of Washington, promotes hemp prod-

ucts for sustainable building. According to Hempcrete, because hemp absorbs CO2, it offsets the carbon footprint when building a structure. While more and more people are learning about the misconceptions of and possible uses for hemp, there are still many limitations to Kind Hemp Co. and other hemp-based companies in the U.S. Much of the hemp used by these companies has to be imported from other countries. A machine called the Decorticator is used to transform hemp stock into a viable fiber, and MacGuffie said there is not even one Decorticator in operation in the U.S., thanks in part to the longlasting prohibition. The company has to import the fabric to make their products from a fair-trade company in China instead. While farmer and eco-activists wait for Congress to pass the Hemp Farm Bill, companies like Kind Hemp Co. will continue to spread the word about the many uses and benefits of the powerful plant. “Our focus is to help teach others about the education,” MacGuffie said. “We need to start acting now by supporting the hemp industry and teaching others what we know about hemp.” Kind Hemp Co. sells hemp-made hats and socks and will soon sell backpacks and other items. Find their products online at kindhempco.com or at Prohibition Herb, Cloud 9, and other Southwest dispensaries. For every purchase sold, Kind Hemp donates a dollar to grow a hemp plant.

6 | Thursday, April 12, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[Odd Rot, by Patty Templeton]

[pages]

Stories by a bard of the down-and-out Nelson Algren is best known for his 1940 National Book Award-winner “The Man with the Golden Arm.” It’s a dark look at postWWII veterans and morphine addiction that was made into a movie starring Frank Sinatra. It’s a dang fine book, but anyone new to Algren should start with his collection of short story collection, “The Neon Wilderness.” “Actually, they fought to fill the emptiness of their lives as they filled their empty glasses. They fought – not because the liquor was in them, but because it did not fill them enough.” SERIOUSLY? Gut me now, Algren, you

god of digging deep and shoveling out in a way anyone can relate to. It may have been pubbed in 1956, but “The Neon Wilderness” still holds power today through its spot-on slang and sincere portraits of working class people. It’s a love song to the down-and-out, and a focus on folks who feel left behind. Algren has an obvious adoration for Chicago. Loving Chicago, he says, is, “like loving a woman with a broken nose, you may well find lovelier lovelies. But never a lovely so real.” If you dig on hash poetics or authors like John Fante, Studs Terkel, and Charles Bukowski, absolutely give “The Neon Wilderness” a try. — Patty Templeton

‘Whenever I’m Alone With You’ Patty Templeton has obsessions. She tries to be healthy about them. See inside her brain over at www.instagram.com/pattytempleton or http://pattytempleton.tumblr.com.

What day is it? INTO Wines-day! $518 /mo.

$217 /mo.

Want this deal? Mention this ad!

$1 Glass of Wine All Day Wednesday!*

2018 Four Winds 24F Class C 240 mo. @ 5.49

2018 Passport 239BH 144mo. @ 5.49%

Say What?! *Limit 3 per person. Deal not valid with any other offer

1201 Main Ave · (970) 259-5028 · Open: Monday-Saturday 11:30am-9pm

505.334.5500 CTRVaztec.com 4 miles west of Aztec, and 1.5 miles east of Flora Vista

�� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 7

[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Expanders: Old school reggae

evin Morrison was in high school in the late ’90s when he and other members of The Expanders started digging on the pre-Bob Marley classic music of Jamaica. They started as die-hard fans of old-school ska and reggae, while trying to break into the larger and more modern ska scene in Los Angeles. But what started as an interest in stacked sounds from their personal record collections quickly grew into a musician’s wet dream, with Morrison and his bandmates gigging as the house band for touring Jamaican musicians, the pioneers of reggae. The Expanders backed artists like Alton Ellis and Leonard Dillon, and that became the foundation of the band. Call them American ambassadors or history teachers of the genre, enlightening those interested to its obscure, important creators. It’s a simple idea that has become a mission statement for the band – turn modern audiences onto the past via the music they make in the present. The Expanders will perform tonight, Thursday, April 12, at The Animas City Theatre, along with Sensamotion and Dubbest. “We ended up backing a lot of our Jamaican heroes at that time,” said Morrison. “They loved the fact these American kids were into the music that

GO! Tonight,Thursday, April 12: The Expanders, Sensamotion, Dubbest, 8:30 p.m., $17/$20, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. Information: 799-2281. they had made 30 or 40 years ago. We would bring singles for them to sign, records they hadn’t seen since the day it came out, so it was always a great experience.” It’s exactly what Chuck Berry used to do: tour solo, and in each town put a backing band together. “It has been five or six years since we started touring in this American reggae scene, where most of the bands are a rock/reggae hybrid that listen to Jamaican music, but are just as heavily, or maybe more so, influenced by bands like Sublime,” said Morrison. “We didn’t start out and say, ‘We’re going to make ourselves stand out by playing this kind of music.’ That’s just what we grew up listening to, and that was always going to come out since we picked up instruments. But, as soon as we started touring, we thought it might be a smart move to define that as our niche. That’s what we want to do. We want to expose this old music to an audience that might not have heard much of it, or might have heard Bob Marley or Peter Tosh, but don’t know about the

giant iceberg below the surface of Jamaican music.” As a band, the music they make is minimal and laid back, full of the classic rhythm that defines reggae, no matter the era. Its simplicity is what makes it so great. It pulls no punches and offers no tricks, a genuine and honest offering. It’s also an exploration and nod to what reggae music has given to the rest of the world. It’s a building block as one style after another has branched out from old school reggae, and the band offers that recognition via a number of singles and full-length albums, including their latest single, “Blood Morning.” “I was fascinated by the disproportionate influence Jamaican music had on the rest of the world in terms of the size of the island, and the music was only made in a small neighborhood on this tiny island, and it went out to the whole world. Everyone knows reggae,” said Morrison. “There would be no hip-hop, or it would be a very different thing if there wasn’t reggae. There would be no electronic music if there wasn’t dub, so it went on to shape the music of the world. As a music lover when you see a phenomenon like that you have to stop and take note.” Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

8 | Thursday, April 12, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[sound] What’s new A Place to Bury Strangers,“Pinned” I’ve mentioned a time or two just how much I look forward to spring and the onslaught of releases, which happen just prior to the rigors of incessant summer touring. This week brings many a worthwhile title, including fresh jams from King Tuff and The Moondoggies. For those who still relish the tangible, handheld medium, swoop these and you will not be disappointed. In 2018, the most assured way to support your favorite artists and bands is catch them on tour. While there, buy merch. This puts money directly in their pocket. With the advent and proliferation of digital music consumption and file sharing, the possibility of making any money off cd/vinyl sales has long since passed. Sadly, that trickles down to the

New at

impending death of brick-and-mortar indie record stores, which drives a stake into what’s left of my cold, black heart. So, if you cannot see your favorite so and so on tour, head to your nearest record store and do your part. A Place to Bury Strangers (APTBS) returns with their fifth proper fulllength of dark, heavily-saturated squallart noise. Oliver Ackermann’s blistering guitars are soaked in acute reverb, while Dion Lunadon’s thudding bass is tasteful and propulsive, coupled with backing

sake. It feels as though Prine had to get these songs out, and the world will be better for it. Behemoth,“Messe Noire”

April 13 John Prine,“Tree of Forgiveness” John Prine is a singular songwriter amongst the legions of American writers. Prine is able to blend wit, satire, humor, and a pinch of darkness into some of the most revered Americana songs to emerge over the last 50 years. “Tree of Forgiveness,” his first album of all originals in almost 13 years, lacks the punch and bite of early career tracks like “Sam Stone.” On the album, Prine leans in favor of more wizened platitudes befitting an artist with such legendary status. The whole record has the feel of a bedroom recording, with the warmth of Jason Isbell’s slide guitar, and the subtle quaverings of mellotron tape-looping, which adds a nice element of realness in a world of increasingly sterile folk recordings. The years have certainly taken their toll on Prine’s voice, with the rasp coming to a head on this record. Though it doesn’t quite overshadow the lyrics, it can be distracting for those who aren’t fans of Tom Waits, or those who are prone to sympathetic coughing fits. Though not groundbreaking, this record does a wonderful job of not falling into the trap of being recorded for recording’s

I am not typically a fan of live albums, though over the years there have been a handful that captured the theatrics and energy of the bands that I like to see live. Behemoth, Polish masters of blackened death, certainly fall into that category. I have seen them multiple times, and enjoy their music enough to have a symbol of theirs inked onto my right wrist. Their new album, “Messe Noire,” is a collection from their 2016 tour in support of the album “The Satanist,” which contains some of the most layered and deep work in their near 30-year history. The sound quality of the recording is wonderful, even if frontman Nergal’s vocals can at times be lost in the furor of the instrumentals. The tracklist leans heavily on the new material side, so those who look for live albums to act as a stand-in for a greatest hits album will be disappointed, but that doesn’t mean the songs are lacking. The standout track to me is the 10-minute-long midtempo, “O Father O Satan O Sun.” It’s one of the more melodic tracks in their catalog, and easily one of the greatest closing tracks on any extreme music album. The live footage on the DVD that comes with the album is awesome as well, and showcases just what led Behemoth to become one of the most successful heavy music acts in history.

vocals and fierce drumming from Lia Simone Braswell. Back in 2007, when I was first introduced to what would become a favorite band of mine, APTBS were known as “the loudest band in New York.” While that has in no way changed with respect to their live show, their studio album progression is near perfection. “Pinned” is, without a doubt, one of the finest records of the year. Play this loud, play this often. Do whatever you can to catch them at Meow Wolf in Santa Fe on Tuesday, June 5. Do

yourself a solid and do not forget the earplugs.

Other new releases include Laura Veirs, The Damned, Jason Aldean, Beth Hart, Hollywood Burns, Wrong, Wrekmeister Harmonies, King Tuff,

Rich The Kid, Breaking Benjamin, and

“Pinned” is available Friday, April 13, via Dead Oceans on compact disc and standard vinyl. Pre-order direct from the label for a bevy of limited edition bundle variations that include the “Brainwashing Machine Edition” of the album on double cd or double hot pink vinyl LP, an album art vinyl slipmat, guitar strap, and even a custom-made Death By Audio guitar effects pedal. Holy hot damn. Recommended for fans of Psychocandy-era Jesus and Mary Chain, The Soft Moon, Joy Division, Suicide, Black Rebel Motorcycle Cub, Spacemen 3, The Black Angels, Dead Moon, or My Bloody Valentine. —— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

Pentatonix. —— Cooper Stapleton

Locally Grown. Locally Owned. NOW OPENM P TIL 9

GREAT STRAIN SELECTION • HASH & CONCENTRATE • EDIBLES • SEEDS • CLONES PIPES • SMOKING ACCESSORIES • APPAREL • MJ LITERATURE & CONSULTING • ATM ON-SITE

RECREATIONAL 9am-9pm • MEDICAL 9am-6:45pm • 72 SUTTLE ST. UNITS F & G 970.259.3674 • 7 DAYS A WEEK

The Alternative Resource durangoorganics.com

facebook.com/durangoorganics

�� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 9

[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Taste-testing hazy IPAs to see how they stack up

ollowing my first writeup about the hazy IPA in October 2016, a lot has happened in the beer world. Wicked Weed is now wholly owned by AB InBev, Avery is partially owned by a brewery in Spain, Stone Brewing is suing MillerCoors over Keystone Light, Greenflash is selling its Virginia Beach brewery that it built in 2016 and the rest will be foreclosed upon by its creditors, and three out of the four largest craft breweries in the country now have a hazy IPA as part of their lineup. Sam Adams, Sierra Nevada, and New Belgium all jumped on the haze train. Though they are a little tardy, they are in the game. How do these offerings stack up against each other? Well, I drank them all for you to find out. The first thing about New England IPA is the can design. They are usually 16 ounces with stickers on blank aluminum cans for labels. This is because printed cans are ordered by the truckload, which

saves pennies on the can, but is a huge cost upfront for most breweries. Even still, the sticker-on-aluminum has become the sought after aesthetic. This aspect was not missed on Sam Adams for their New England IPA (catchy name, right?). Their 16ounce can is printed, but they left the bottom and top blank, giving a nod to the sticker-on-aluminum trend. New Belgium gets the 16-ounce can and has an equally unoriginal name, Voodoo Ranger Juicy Haze IPA. Sierra Nevada got clever with their name – Hazy Little Thing – but they have a printed 12ounce can. (I know I’ve seen 16-ounce Sierra Nevada Pale Ale cans, so wtf Sierra Nevada?) When a legit NEIPA is poured in a glass, you should be able to confuse it with a frothy glass of OJ. This is the appearance of the most sought-after beers in the style, but Heady Topper, the progenitor of the style, has a slight bit of translucence around the edges, so it’s not totally out of spec if it’s not a straight-up glass of Sunny Delight. Colors also vary

with the style, but they are usually yellow to orange. Getting into amber is a no-no. Out of the the three beers, New Belgium scores the highest, with a solid copper hue and dense fog. I feel like Sam Adams gets a little too bronze in color. Sierra Nevada doesn’t look like it’s a traditional NEIPA at all, but it has a light cloudiness, and looks like it was treated with a haze-forming compound like tannic acid, but the color is a beautiful yellow maize. In the flavor and aroma category, NEIPAs should have a big nose of tropical, citrus, stone and/or orchard fruits and berries, and super fresh floral, herbal, piney, and/or resinous notes that hang out in the background to complement and accentuate the fruit aromas. There may also be a small hint of cracker, bready, or oatmeal aroma. The same goes for the flavors. The beers should taste like carbonatContinued on Page 11

10 | Thursday, April 12, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[drink]

Boozy breakfast in a glass »» The fat-washed Backcountry Flapjack is fit for a cowboy As cocktail culture has taken off over the past decade, mixologists have had to get more creative with their concoctions. A sole mint sprig and a torched citrus slice is child’s play in 2018. One of the most savory new techniques to emerge from this creative climate is fat-washing. Fat-washing is the process of infusing a fatty flavor – in this case, bacon – into alcohol. The Office Spiritorium in the Strater Hotel has done just that with the Backcountry Flapjack, a delicious example of a respectable fat-washed cocktail that would make any lard-loving carnivore drool.

hypnotizing oils spirling on top of the hazy amber liquid.

The Office has easy access to premium bacon grease that comes right out of the attached restaurant, Mahogany Grille. Chef Neal Drysdale of Mahogany Grille orders whole pigs from a guy who really goes by Farmer Bob. They make sure to use the whole animal, whether in entrees, appetizers, or cocktails.

»»1 large ice cube

And while it may seem complicated, fat washing is a fairly simple process. The bar mixes the melted bacon grease into 1910 Templeton Rye whiskey. Rye whiskey is made without any corn – unlike bourbon – which creates a smokier, spicier flavor. The mixture is then cooled in the refrigerator. The

The artery-clogging whiskey is perfectly good on its own, but The Office uses the fat whiskey to make an Old Fashioned-style take on the most important meal of the day. Ingredients: »»2 ounces of the bacon fat-washed 1910 Templeton Rye, »»1/4 ounces Bigallet China-China (a liqueur made from sweet and bitter orange peels macerated in sugar-beet alcohol) »»1/4 ounces of smoked maple syrup Glassware: Rocks Jessie O’Brien/DGO

»» The Backcountry Flapjack at The Office Spiritorium. grease rises to the top and solidifies, making it easy to separate from the whiskey that has been infused with the bacon flavor. Alcohol is hydrophobic, meaning it can bond with oils. (It’s also hydrophilic, meaning it can bond with water-based ingredients, such as fruit.) Fat-infused whiskey is fit for a cowboy – a refined cowboy – so the mixture is then strained to separate any solid bits.

How to: Build the cocktail in the glass. Mix all of the ingredients together and stir. Be sure to add the burnt orange peel in the drink to add flavor.

creamy, full-body texture to the whiskey that is good on the taste buds and easy on the eyes. You can see the

—— Jessie O’Brien

DURANGO’S LARGEST PREMIUM CANNABIS DISPENSARY

This simple process creates a

WWW.SANTECOLORADO.COM 970-375-BUDS

ed fruit juice with a hint of an herbal bitter sensation and a full, soft body from the dense malt bill. Sam Adams really hits all the notes with theirs, getting a great body and minty citrus aroma with a hint of expensive hipster soap. The flavor is cheap orange juice with highly-curated herbal succulents to raise the brows to the hairline. The Voodoo Ranger is very light on the hops and fruit, but has a good malt character. It’s more pebbles and less fruity, like someone dropped some orange slices in the malt-o-meal. The body is more on point, but drifts into syrup instead of soft. Hazy Little Thing is an all around great beer. The aroma is a casual tropical fruit and citrus zest with a little bit of fresh Colorado air,

742½ Main Ave. Durango

like fresh bud with pine needles. The flavor rides a wicked line between J-U-I-C-E and too many herbacious weed snacks. It’s bong water sub OJ. It’s highly refreshing, super clean in the mouth, with just a tiny bit of cling. Though Hazy Little Thing is my prefered beer out of the three, it does not fit the style with mouth-feel or opacity. I will drink it again though. I feel like Sam Adams has a good start, but they need to dial back the dark malts and refocus the hops to the fruity side a little more. New Belgium just needs about 10 times the amount of hops and they will have a rocking example of the style. Robbie Wendeborn is the head brewer at Svendæle Brewing in Millerton, New York. He is also a former beer plumber at Ska Brewing.

(IN THE ALLEY)

4/13-4/15

MARY JANE’S SALVE

4/12-4/23

V3 CARTRIDGES

SPEND $25.00 AND RECEIVE A .3 GRAM SALVE FOR 4.20 BUY ONE CARTRIDGE GET ONE CARTRIDGE HALF OFF

(970) 375-2837 2nd Ave

Bank of the San Juans

HANDICAP ACCESSIBLE Alley

E 8th St

From Page 10

Garnish: Burnt orange peel

Durango Coffee Co

Main Ave

Mutu’s Italian Kitchen

DEALS 4/13-4/19

HAPPY CAMPER CONCENTRATES

SAVE $4.20 ON ANY HAPPY CAMPER PURCHASE

4/17-4/19

DURANGO CANNABIS COMPANY

$45 HALF OUNCE SPECIAL ONE PER CUSTOMER

OUR ADVERTISED PRICES INCLUDE TAX HAPPY HOUR - 10% OFF: 4:20–5:20 PM EARLY BIRD - 10% OFF: RECREATIONAL 9–11 AM, MEDICAL 10 –12 PM VETERAN SPECIALS!

WWW.SANTECOLORADO.COM • 742½ MAIN AVENUE • DURANGO, CO

RECREATIONAL: SUN to WED 9AM-9PM & THUR to SAT 9AM-9:45PM · MEDICAL: SUN to SAT 10AM-6:30PM

�� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 11

Jessie O’Brien | DGO STAFF WRITER

here isn’t an exact science for calculating the precise components that qualify a bar as a dive. You know one when you see one. It’s a place where the regulars and the bartenders are just as much a fixture as the weathered bartop. The stools are worn, the company is fine, and the drinks are cheap.

Worn bar stools and cheap libations A guide to some of the best dive bars in the Four Corners

12 | Thursday, April 12, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Chip Lile, co-owner of El Rancho Tavern, knows a thing or two about what makes for a proper dive. He purchased the Ranch in 1999, but worked in the bar way back in his college days. He said there are certain signifiers that let people know they walked into a dive. “Where we live, and probably everywhere in the western United States, every single town has its dive bar. Every single town has that bar that everybody loves and hates,” he said. “It usually smells like fresh popcorn and beer. And if there is a jukebox, that is a good sign as well.” It’s easy to describe a dive by describing what it’s not. “We don’t have fancy brewery kettles to look at. We don’t have a full menu to eat off of. We don’t have these things that other competitors have to offer. We have a room and we have staff.” Aside from the physical look of the place, Lile said what makes a dive bar a dive bar is that it is a place for everyone. “It’s not uncommon that you might find an attorney sitting next to a guy who is a sheetrocker in our bar, or somebody from the district attorney’s office talking to somebody from the public defender’s office,” Lile said. Connections like that have been made for a long time at this location. The Ranch, in some iteration, has been a bar since the very first day prohibition was repealed. Back then it was known as the Dutch Lunch, and it’s been operating as El Rancho since the ’40s. While things do change, they change subtly and slowly. “Dive bars are like Groundhog Day. It’s the same thing every day and you can count on it. It’s very consistent year in and year out,” he said. “While a lot inside the bar has changed decor-wise, a lot of people come in and say it looks exactly the same as it did 20 years ago.” Lile gives credit to the previous owners who cleaned up the seediness that existed at The Ranch back in the day when it had a reputation for being worn down and unsafe. “It was really rough and tumble,” Lile said. But that is part of the dive appeal. The rough and tumble adds to its charm and gives patrons the opportunity to fully relax. “There is a sense that when you are in a

dive bar, there is a sense of freedom. You don’t have to be an attorney at that moment; you don’t have to be a bricklayer at that moment. You are just yourself and nobody is going to judge you for it. You can let your guard down a little bit. “People like to feel a little less responsibility. Even if it’s just for a moment. It brings us all back to our youth at some stage when we were a little less responsible. It’s escapism.” Want to escape? Here’s our guide to dives in Durango and nearby.

El Rancho 975 Main Ave., facebook.com/elranchotavern Pouring Since: The 1940s Cheapest drink: Drink like a king with $3 PBRs. Setting and scene: Home to a fantastic surrealist neon sign, El Rancho is the pinnacle Durango dive. Most local barflies have stories associated with the classic watering hole, since it is one of the few places that stays open well past the witching hour. If you want to drink late, you have to go to The Ranch. Don’t expect anyone to roll out the red carpet for your fancy ass at this dive, though. The Ranch is a place for cheap beer and whiskey shots, although the Ranch’s selection will satisfy the craft lover, too. The staff is friendly and professional, but aren’t too timid to put you in your place. This one-star review written by a seltzer-drinking dweeb paints a lifelike portrait of the no-nonsense bartenders: “When I put money on the bar she waved her arms at me, walked away muttering, ‘This is a bar. People order drinks.’”

Orio’s Roadhouse 652 Main Ave., 970-259-6120 Pouring since: 2012 Cheap drinks: The 12-ounce can of Rainier for $2. Setting and scene: Walk into Orio’s – better known as the Roadhouse – on a weekend night and you’ll be greeted by a lively bunch hidden under a haze of cigarette smoke. A smoky room used to be one of the standard dive identifiers, but Continued on Page 14

�� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 13

»» The famous neon sign at The Ranch. From Page 13

those cigarette clues have mostly disappeared. Those non-smoking rules may be for the best, but are also for pussies, something Orio’s knows well. Beyond the smoke, there are college students sucking down the bar’s signature Purple F**ker shot as pool players chalk up, and cue balls clank into haphazard racks. The country music is loud, but people talk louder. Everyone is ready to cut loose.

8th Avenue Tavern 509 East Eighth Ave., 970-259-8801 Pouring since: 2002 Cheapest drink: $4 mystery shot Setting and scene: The sunshine takes away from the dive feel of 8th Ave Tav if you visit on a weekday morning (it

David Holub/DGO photos

»» The tap at El Rancho Tavern. opens at 11 a.m.). Other than the lack of darkness, the bar still has all the other necessary dive elements. On a recent visit, three men drank quietly on the bar stools, leaving one space between them and their fellow early-morning imbibers. The mid-morning quiet allows the drinkers, who seemed deep in thought, to meditate over the glass as a welcoming bartender opened up the register before she sliced some limes. The drinkers will break their train of thought to welcome

you, too, with a subtle smile or acknowledging nod. There is a single pool table off to the side that is sure to get a lot of action once the sun begins to set. One can imagine what karaoke night is like after the patrons gulp down couple of the elaborate, sweet drinks displayed on the large sign above the bar. But this is the first shift at 8th Ave Tav. The fun is just getting started.

the men who ride them taking swigs of bottled domestics inside. The bar is still repping its 2002 mention as one of Men’s Journal 50 Best Bars in America, but unlike the kid who peaked in high school, the Billy Goat maintains the dive vibe that caught the magazine’s attention over a decade ago.

The Columbine

Billy Goat Saloon

123 Grand Ave., Mancos, 970-5337397

39848 US-160, Bayfield, thebillygoatsaloon.com

Pouring since: 1903 or 1910?

Pouring since: 1982 Cheapest drink: Have a well drink for $4 any night of the week. They have specials throughout the week, too. Setting and scene: The Billy Goat in Gem Village serves as a marker for those traveling to Durango. Once you pass the striking satanic-looking goat head signage on the side of the road, you know you’re close. But it’s best to get out the car and stretch your legs over a cold one because this dive checks all the boxes – cheap beer, live music, pool tables, steel horses parked outside, and

Cheapest drink: Live the high life with a $2.50 Miller High Life draft. Setting and scene: Many buns have graced the barstools at The Columbine in Mancos. The drinkery must have rotted history’s brain because nobody knows the exact date this old dive opened its doors - a plaque outside says 1910, while a sign inside reads 1903. Either way, the antique bar is living, drinking piece of history. Today, new cheeky signs, taxidermy, and cowboy knick-knacks cover the walls, but the atmosphere is a reminder of bygone days. There have been many rounds poured, stories shared,

14 | Thursday, April 12, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

beers sipped, and friends made at The Columbine over the past 100-plus years. We wish the walls could talk, because we’re sure they’d have some rowdy stories to whisper.

building that has led an eventful life,” a Buck Facebook post reads. “For the first time in its long history, it’s getting some much-needed love to get it ready for its next 119 years.”

The Last Dollar Saloon

Olde Schoolhouse Cafe and Saloon

100 E. Colorado Ave., Telluride, lastdollarsaloon.com Pouring since: 1978 Cheapest drink: Your guess is as good as ours.

»» Wall decor at El Rancho Tavern.

Setting and Scene: Another historic bar in Telluride, The Last Dollar – known to locals as The Buck – has been wetting whistles for over 120 years, but serving under the name Buck for the 30. Age is one of the central characteristics to a good dive. You can re-create a cozy Prohibition-style bar with high-end cocktails and fancy nosh, but you can’t recreate the soul of a place that exists only if it’s been lived in and loved. Those feelings seeped into The Buck like the spilled beer that’s seeped into the floor. The bar is currently undergoing renovations, but the bar owners promise they will keep the same atmosphere that’s been around for decades. “We are in a 119-year-old

8750 46778, US-550, oldeschoolhousesaloon.com Pouring since: 1995 Cheapest drink: You can have your choice of the finest $2 cans of PBR. Setting and scene: You know you’re in an authentic dive when you walk into Schoolhouse and see the hundreds of dollar bills stapled to the wall. The wood-burning stove keeps drinkers warm in the wintertime, much like the whiskey in their bellies. What’s different about this local spot is the smell of fresh thick-crust pizza permeating the air. The bar has an extensive menu of specialty pizzas, calzones, and other hangover foods. There is also a pool table and harder-to-find shuffleboard. As a bonus, top-shelf drinks go for bottom dollar. Premium drink prices range $6 to $7.

Find us at 72 Suttle Street, Unit B Bodo Park, Durango

Patron Silver

7 days a week

375ml

1599

The area’s best selection of vaping products PREMIUM E-LIQUIDS • E-CIGS LOCAL GL ASS • WATER PIPES DAB RIGS • ACCESSORIES

1485 Florida Road

970-247-2258

AND MANY CBD PRODUCTS: - TINCTURES - EDIBLES - LOTIONS - CONCENTRATES

970-247-1261 info@swvapor.com

HOURS: MON - THURS: 9-10, FRI & SAT: 9-10:30, SUN: 10-7 www.StarLiquorsDurango.com �� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 15

[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

Let’s discuss the legal status of hemp, marijuana’s sibling

ello, DGO! We are going to try something new here this week. I have constructed a rudimentary time machine from the component parts of Google search engine and MS Word that will allow us to travel back in time and examine a topic discussed here in early 2016, the legal status of cannabis’ non-psychoactive sibling, hemp. The basics of the situation are this: Both hemp and marijuana are born of the same plant species, Cannabis sativa L, which tricks people into believing that hemp is the same thing as a marijuana plant. These two cannabis subspecies are incredibly different in every way, though – genetically,

chemically, and are even cultivated by different methods. In the spirit of Gertrude Stein, though, I can assure you that a Kush is a Haze is a Girl Scout Cookie. Those stem from the “marijuana” version of cannabis plant, the one that we smoke, eat, drink, vape, boof, and whatever else, for the purposes of intoxication and medicine. It has a significant amount of THC, the cannabinoid that gets you high. A short generation ago, it was difficult to find bud with a THC percentage higher than 5 or so. Growers and breeders have quickly changed that in the past couple decades. Now every shop in Colorado has a solid dozen samples that approach and surpass the 20 percent range.

BCI Media file

»» A bee gathers pollen from a hemp plant at the CSU Southwest Colorado Research Station in Yellow Jacket in 2016.

And the hemp plant is a plant that will never get you high, no matter how much of it you smoke. It contains less THC than the dirt outside. It will make you a sweet-ass hank of rope if processed correctly, at least according to the basics of botanical taxonomy. It’s the industrial marvel that can be used to produce an incredible array of commodities – including food, fuel, fabric, oil, rope, building materials, beauty products, paper, paints, [and] plastic – a list I composed months before J.B. Sessions swore to “well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office” of Attorney General of these here United States. Hemp’s THC percentage – ostensibly the reason a plant would be outlawed by federal and international law – is about 0.3%. Though you could roll, light, and smoke a thousand joints and never catch a buzz, this member of the cannabis family tree remains – in many ways – as illegal as Northern Lights #5 or Alaskan Thunderfuck, as illegal as it was when Aslinger was doing his Reefer Madness thing in the ‘30s, and when Jack Herer was exposing the political motives of Hearst, DuPont, Mellon and their cronies by publishing “The Emperor Wears No Clothes” in the ‘80s. This concept of a cannabis plant that won’t get you high can be difficult to grasp, but it all comes down to how

different plants in the same family can be. I have had plants growing simultaneously, in the same room, under the same lights, started on the same day, that took wildly different spans of time to develop and be ready for trimming, drying, and curing. It took 40 days for the Cinderella 99 strain, compared to 80+ days for this unidentified sativa goofball of a tall, lanky phenotype that used to go through her daily water so quickly that she would dry out completely and fall to the ground by the time I got back to her the next day (I must mention that she smoked like heaven, in spite of her eccentricities). They did not seem like the same plant until they were in jars. Some cannabis plants grow a few feet tall; some grow to the height of a few (circus) people standing on each other’s shoulders. Mother Nature is wild. The federal illegality of hemp is insane, considering the vast differences between the two. But that may be changing with the help of some very unlikely allies. Next week we will take a look at the developments over the last 100 weeks that may have us headed in the direction of federally legal hemp. Be well, til then, DGO. Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

16 | Thursday, April 12, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[review]

East Coast Sour Diesel, an introvert’s chatterbox dream This week, I got my hands on some East Coast Sour Diesel, a mega-popular sativa strain that (obviously) hails from our nation’s Eastern region. It’s known to be pretty potent, pretty quick-acting, and pretty awesome. I’ve been a fan of this lemon-meets-diesel-fuelmeets-caffeine strain for a hot minute, so for review purposes, I smoked it with a partner – a casual user who tends to prefer indicas – to get his thoughts. Here’s how it went:

“That is really pungent,” he said. And pungent it is. The buds are fluffy, cone-shaped, bright green in color, and the strain smells a bit like a diesel truck filled with lemon-scented Pledge. While that may sound a bit noxious, we both agreed it’s a pretty pleasant smell. Somehow this strain makes gas station lemons work. According to the folks over at Prohibition Herb, who provided this sample for our review, their East Coast Sour Diesel is a “racehorse of a sativa.” It comes from Heirloom Sativa genetics and is a long-standing favorite of their customers. For those reasons, we decided to smoke ECSD late at night, mostly to see whether it actually is effective at improving focus and energy levels. It’s one thing to smoke a strain known for energy-boosting when you’re wide awake. It’s another to smoke it at 3 a.m. We’re very scientific around here. Spoiler alert: It’s effective. We were very awake after one bowl. “I can feel the back of my eyeballs,” my smoking partner said. I have a feeling that’s because he was intently focused on his phone without blinking. I was pretty darn amused. I was even more amused when he disappeared for a few minutes to forage in the kitchen for food. He was on a (very focused) mission, and returned with a metric ton of beef sticks, cheese sticks, Cheez-its, and some sort of

Providing ALL your 420 Needs in One Corner

Get yourself some SMOKING deals at Durango Rec Room then make your way to Cloud 9 Headshop for a great glass selection and finish at Durango Dog House for a munchie!

Let’s talk about weed, shall we?

As far as I know, my smoking partner had never had the pleasure of smoking ECSD, or even smelling it. There was an audible gasp when I opened the canister.

420DEALS!

CORNER

$10 grams of keef* $35 quarter-ounce joints* $20 grams of concentrates* $10 grams of 34% Sour Tangie* *Deals on 420 only, while supplies last

Details Where to find East Coast Sour Diesel: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino Del Rio, 970-3858622, prohibitionherb.com Price: Currently $13.20 a gram, $36.20 an eighth on the rec side, but may change batch to batch. Not currently available on medical. Caveats: Prohibition Herb provided this sample for review purposes, but only put a sweet lighter in the bag, not a bribe. Maybe next time. very icy beverage in a Yeti. As you may have guessed, this strain can cause a major case of the munchies. He also returned quite the chatterbox, which isn’t the norm. I love smoking with introverts, because it’s cool to see how they emerge from their shells full of great ideas and stories you’d never pry from them otherwise. And that’s exactly the place this strain took him. He was happy, high, and ready to tell me all the things I never wanted to know. Perfection. I, on the other hand, was busy digging the slight body high that comes with ECSD. It’s odd – this is a sativa in every sense of the word – but it does give me some of the sensations one would expect of a straight indica, yet there isn’t a couch-lock issue with the body high from this strain. Best of both worlds? Yes. So, yeah. Both the novice and seasoned smoker agree that this strain is rad. 10 out of 10. Or maybe 9 out of 10 if you don’t like cheese sticks. But that’s your business. —— DGO Pufnstuf

RECREATIONAL ACROSS FROM MARIJUANA 21+ STARBUCKS 145 E. College Dr. Durango, Colorado 81301 (970) 764-4087 | durangorecroom@gmail.com

�� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 17

[advice]

Life Hax | Carolyn Hax

I told my brother his girlfriend was cheating out of jealousy I am really jealous of my brother’s new girlfriend, literally the exact opposite of me. I’m hitting a rough patch just as her life is unfolding seamlessly. I saw her out with another guy and I made it sound like she was cheating on my brother. I usually don’t do stuff like this but it just felt good at the time for them to experience a hiccup, something that didn’t go their way.

take full responsibility for what I did and I profoundly regret hurting you two.”

Turns out he was her stepbrother, so my brother figured out that I essentially made up the story. As far as I can tell he never said anything to his girlfriend, but he avoids being alone with me. I really want to explain myself but I have no idea what to say. I know what I did was wrong but it was an impulse decision and I would like to know how long I can expect this to be awkward.

Doing so fully might take care of “rough patches” as well. It happens.

And if you seriously think your worst consequence for a “hiccup” (you kid, right?) is that the “awkward” phase isn’t passing quickly enough for you, then you have major work to do with your conscience. You did a self-indulgent, thoughtlessly cruel thing and must own up to that.

This has me thinking “Silence of the Lambs.” Which tends not to be good.

Confused Gift Recipient

But it’s not a lurid part, it’s just a memorable line: “We covet what we see.” The world is enormous, teeming with billions of people, all dealing with all kinds of shortcomings and dysfunctions and devastations – but do we ever look at ourselves and think, “I’m hitting a rough patch, but I am so grateful I have a loving family and clean water and electricity”? Sometimes, sure – but more often, we see people right next to us and interpret their lives as basically the same as ours except better. So, instead of focusing on your many strengths and privileges and tapping into them to smooth out your rough patch, you lock onto your brother’s girlfriend and judge yourself lacking by comparison.

Money is definitely not an issue. We’d happily foot the entire bill for a big wedding if she’d let us. It seems to me Mara is more worried about outmoded rules than what will make her future husband and his family happy. Should I talk to her about this or continue to bite my tongue? Trying Not to Be Hurt

I received a Christmas gift from my boyfriend’s mother. (He and I have been dating for seven years.) It was a decorative plate that very obviously had been broken into many pieces and glued back together. The plate was also missing a piece. The family is affluent and the mother is an interior decorator. I am very confused by this gift. I showed it to my boyfriend and he was also confused.

Jealous

only recorded music and so on. Paul is a romantic and had always looked forward to a big wedding but now says he’s deferring to Mara’s wishes since she doesn’t want to look tacky.

The Christmas question sent to me in the spring gets a very different answer from the Christmas question sent on Dec. 26. Contemporaneously, you can say to his mother: “Thank you for the beautiful plate. Unfortunately, it arrived broken and glued back together – I’m not upset but I’m guessing you’ll want a refund.” When in doubt, make the assumption that puts your loved one in the best possible light, then respond to it accordingly. Now, though, that response would be strange; why would you take three months to blame the store?

If you hadn’t met her to use for comparison, your eyes might well have rested on another life to covet, someone else to resent as a handy vessel for your general, harder-to-resolve anger at life.

So your best recourse now is no recourse. The gift was weird, but we can all live with a little weirdness in isolation. If you and your boyfriend notice his mother doing other bizarre or thoughtless things, then please do act – kindly, of course, and ideally on the spot.

One of the most effective ways to thwart this impulse (we all have it, I think) is just to know it’s there and call it by name. “I covet what I see.” And therefore: “It’s not this person or that person or her success or his big house, it’s me. I’m out of sorts and using others’ blessings as the focus of my distress because it’s easier than looking inward and fixing what I need to fix.”

I’m trying not to be hurt by my future daughter-inlaw’s attitude toward the wedding she’s planning with my son, “Paul,” but it’s proving difficult. “Mara” is a young widow and had a big wedding with her late husband. I can understand not wanting to do that all again, but this is Paul’s first and hopefully only wedding.

When we do succumb to this ugly impulse, as you did, the only fix is to own it fully and in detail.

Paul is our only child so this is the only wedding our family will have.

So, here’s what you say to your brother: “I am angry at myself and the world right now and I smeared your girlfriend to make myself feel better. I don’t expect you to forgive me. It’ll be hard to forgive myself. But I

The details sound so depressing. Mara’s wearing a green, tea-length dress, no veil, casual flowers, Paul will wear a suit, there will be no groomsmen or bridesmaids, the reception is at a restaurant with

Keep biting! Egads. Because this is none! of! your! business! Zero. But I’ll elaborate anyway in hopes it helps you reorient your thinking into something less bitter. This isn’t the wedding Paul wants, perhaps, but Mara is the partner he wants, so his priority is clear. And yes, of course, each partner deserves equal say in wedding plans, but we’re not talking about skipping sushi tonight because Mara had it yesterday; her first groom DIED. If you take your son’s explanation at face value, then you’re free to think it’s just about appearances, and of course I’m typically all in favor of taking people at their word. But tending to appearances is Mara’s prerogative, not yours, and Paul’s battle to choose (if he wants), not yours. And face value just seems wrong here anyway. Don’t you think the mere fact of burying one’s husband at a young age would suffice to explain why Mara would want a distinctly different wedding this time? An event her ghosts won’t be able to find sounds like an excellent cause to support. Plus, through the right lens, a green tea-length dress and casual flowers and two people who love each other look profoundly romantic. And, the rosiest lens is a fine start to your new future with your new daughter-in-law. Again – I offer all these merely as mind-reorientation tools. The fundamental fact here remains that it’s not your wedding. Not even if you were paying for it. That means your job is to show up on time and smile big, unless and until the couple asks you to do more. Carolyn Hax is a syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post. She started her advice column in 1997, after five years as a copy editor and news editor in Style and none as a therapist. Email her at tellme@washpost. com.

18 | Thursday, April 12, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening]

DGO’s picks in and around Durango

Thursday Creativity Festivity, 10 a.m., $0-$13, Durango Arts

Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606. Toddler story time, 10:30 a.m., Durango Public

Library, 1900 East Third Ave.

Moon duo Catch new duo Loki Moon at 11th Street Station, where Davis Jones and Ashley Edwards will blend celestial sounds with soulful harmonies to create smooth, spacey pop tunes.

Lacey Black, 5 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.,

259-8111. Black Velvet Duo, 5 p.m., Ska Brewing Co., 225 Gi-

rard St., 247-5792. Open mic night, 6 p.m., Eno Cocktail Lounge and

Go Code, 3 p.m., Rochester Hotel, 734 East Second

Ave. Black Velvet Duo, 5:30 p.m., Digs Restaurant and

Bar, 125 Mercado St. Six Dollar String Band, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle

Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431. Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.,

375-7260.

Sunday

Details: April 12, free, 11th Street Station, 1101 Main Ave., eleventhstreetstation.com

Wine Bar, 723 East Second Ave., 385-0105.

Go Code, 10 a.m., Rochester Hotel, 734 East Second Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m., Jean Pierre Bakery and

Girl power

“Look & See: A Portrait of Wendell Berry” film screening, 6 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900

East Third Ave.

Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave.

Introduction to Fusion 360, 6 p.m., $15-$30,

Go Code, 1 p.m., Rochester Hotel, 734 East Second

You can catch the opening reception of “Woman,” a juried art show at Studio &. Artists were asked to explore the broad topic using their own interpretations in any medium. Work from the selected artists will be on display until April 22. Details: April 13, free, 5 p.m., Studio &, 1027 Main Ave., anddurango.com

New digs In need of some new springtime clothes? The Dyed Poppy, a mobile pop-up boutique, is hitting the streets this week. Stop by the rolling closet to stock up on jumpers, dresses, and other threads suitable for sunshine.

Powerhouse Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio.

Ave.

Dustin Burley, 7 p.m., Riff Raff Brewing Company,

Monday

274 Pagosa St., Pagosa Springs.

Cardio and strength interval class, 9 a.m.,

Loki Moon, 7 p.m., 11th Street Station, 1101 Main

Ave.

Edgemont Highlands Community Lodge, 40 Red Canyon Trail.

The Expanders, 7 p.m., $17, Animas City Theatre,

Engage with your City, 5 p.m., Durango City Hall,

128 E. College Drive, 799-2281.

949 East Second Ave. Introduction and Safety, 6 p.m., Powerhouse Sci-

Friday

ence Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio.

Go Code, 8 a.m., Rochester Hotel, 734 East Second

Ave.

Tuesday

Creativity Festivity, 10 a.m., $0-$13, Durango Arts

Baby story time, 2 p.m., Durango Public Library,

Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606.

1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Preschool story time, 10:30 a.m., Durango Public

Tuesday Jam, 6 p.m., Steaming Bean, 900 Main Ave.

Library, 1900 East Third Ave. East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Introduction to Leatherworking, 6 p.m., $20$40, Powerhouse Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio.

StillHouse Junkies, 5:30 p.m., Durango Crafts Spirit,

“Mixtress” film screening, 6 p.m., $10, Power-

STEAM Lab, 3:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900

1120 Main Ave.

house Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio, 259-9234.

Greg Ryder, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699

Main Ave., 247-4431.

Wednesday

Fort Lewis College Dance Co-Motion, 6 p.m., $7, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

Training for Rental Property Staff: Effective Smoke-free Policies, 8:30 a.m., Strater Hotel, 699

Karaoke, 7 p.m., Durango Veterans of Foreign Wars,

Main Ave.

1550 Main Ave. Black Velvet Trio, 7 p.m., Derailed Pour House, 725

T(w)een Time, 4 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900

East Third Ave.

Main St., 247-5440.

SMART Recovery Durango, 5:30 p.m., Suttle

Saturday

Future Forest Changes and Challenges, 6

Afro love

9Health Fair, 7 a.m., $35-$270, Escalante Middle

p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio, 259-9234.

The Fort Lewis College Black Student Union is putting on “Embrace Your Beauty: A Black Hair Show” this week. The free event celebrates African descendants and culture, and unifies the community through a symbol of Black pride.

Farewell Angelina with The Cannondolls,

Details: April 14, free, 12 p.m., Farmington, NM, check Facebook for location, facebook.com/dyedpoppy/

Details: April 15, free, 10 a.m., Fort Lewis College, Student Union, Vallecito Room, 1000 Rim Drive, facebook.com/fortlewiscollegeblackstudentunion

Boozy books If you prefer to read the same way Hemingway wrote – i.e. while loaded – then it would be wise to make your way to Animas Brewing Co.’s Books and Brews club. The monthly event, hosted by the Durango Public Library, is a non-traditional book club in a beer-filled atmosphere. Details: April 16, free, 7 p.m,. Animas Brewing Company, 1560 E 2nd Ave., animasbrewing.com

School, 141 Baker Lane. 7:30 a.m., $24-$34, Community Concert Hall, Fort Lewis College, 1000 Rim Drive. Community indoor yard sale, 9 a.m., Southern

Ute Multi Purpose, 256 Ute Road, Ignacio. Rails and Reels History Train, 9 a.m., $85, Du-

rango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, 479 Main Ave. Creativity Festivity, 10 a.m., $0-$13, Durango Arts

Center, 802 East Second Ave., 259-2606. Metropolitan Opera Live in HD:“G.Verdi” by Luisa Miller, 10:30 a.m., $20-$23, Fort Lewis College,

Student Union, Vallecito Room, 1000 Rim Drive, 2477657. Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m., Jean Pierre Bakery and

Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave. Go Code, 1 p.m., Rochester Hotel, 734 East Second

Ave. Fort Lewis College Dance Co-Motion, 2 p.m.,

$7, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160. Go Code, 2 p.m., Rochester Hotel, 734 East Second

Ave.

Street Clinic, 72 Suttle Street, Suite M.

Pete Neds & Friends, 6 p.m., Durango Veterans of Foreign Wars, 1550 Main Ave. Introduction to Vinyl Cutting, 6 p.m., $20-$40,

Powerhouse Science Center, MakerLab, 1295 Camino del Rio. Shoulder Pain Seminar, 6:30 p.m., Durango Community Recreation Center, 2700 Main Ave., 375-7300.

Ongoing An exhibit, “Sue Buchanan (1928-2014): A selection from 50 years of work,” will be on display through April 21 in the Friends of the Art Library gallery at Durango Arts Center, 802 East Second Ave.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www.dgomag.com, visit www.swscene.

com, click “Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form and submit. Listings at www.swscene.com will appear on www.dgomag.com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www.swscene.com is free and takes one day to process.

�� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 19

Cliffrose

CLIFFROSE

GARDEN CENTER & GIFTS

DEALS

Cliffrose Garden Center

ON MARKET

15% OFF POTTERY OFF BUY 1, GET 1 FREE 15% FRUIT TREES SEED PACKS

CELEBRATE EARTH DAY!

LILACS & FORSYTHIA

*of equal or lesser value

101 N Market St • Cortez, CO

APRIL 22

970.565.2099

Expiration Date: 04/30/18 Must present coupon at time of purchase. Not valid with any other offer.

27885 HW 160 • Cortez, CO

970.565.8994

Expiration Date: 04/30/18 Must present coupon at time of purchase. Not valid with any other offer.

RNH ROOFING All Phases of Roofing • Re-roofing • New Construction • Snow Removal •

Repairs • Veteran & Senior Discounts • Licensed & Insured • Roof Heat Melt Systems

20%OFF

•

ALL PROJECTS UNDER $400

10%OFF

ALL PROJECTS OVER $500

25 years experience!

D G O

Call Richard 970-749-4288

Expiration Date: 4/30/18 281276

Expires: 04/30/2018

“Suddenly Slender helped change my life”

After ››

5 Pack $705 with the 6th Wrap

FREE! (exp May 31, 2018)

‹‹ Before

Expires: 04/30/2018

Mummy Mondays $40 OFF List Price Regularly Priced $165 (exp May 31, 2018)

3701 N. Main 100B • Durango 970.259.6961 SuddenlySlenderNowDurango.com

To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 20 | Thursday, April 12, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

3 COURSE DINNER for $25.00!

Buy one get one Somm’s choice wine. 723 E 2nd Ave Durango, CO 81301 (970) 385-0105

Enjoy an appetizer, entree and dessert all for $25.00 Choose from our weekly selections. Expiration Date: 04/30/18 Offer cannot be combined with other promotions. Not valid on holidays.

Expiration Date: 04/30/18 Offer cannot be combined with other promotions. Not valid on holidays.

BUY 4 TIRES

(970) 247-9068

GET A FREE

ALIGNMENT OR OIL CHANGE* www.treadworks.com 1776 Main Ave · Durango, CO

Expiration Date: 05/15/2018 *Not valid with any other discount or promotion. Must present coupon at time of purchase. Oil change-up to 5 quarts of standard oil. Diesels excluded.

D G O

725 E 2nd Ave Durango, CO 81301 (970) 385-6884 Closed Sunday

BOGO!

281262

CAN YOU BELIEVE THESE SPRING SERVICE SPECIALS? OPEN SATURDAYS FOR FULL SERVICE 8AM-5PM Any Make/Any Model (970) 259-3940 • 20704 Highway 160 West Durango

TIRE ROTATION SPECIAL

1295

995

REG. $39.95

REG. $19.95

ONLY ONE COUPON PER VISIT. MUST BE PRESENT AT TIME OF WRITE UP. EXCLUDES TAX AND SHOP SUPPLIES. UP TO 6 QTS SYNTHETIC BLEND CONVENTIONAL MOTOR OIL. INCLUDES OIL, FILTER & LABOR. EXCLUDES DIESELS. SEE DEAALER FOR DETAILS. CANNOT BE COMBINED WITH OTHER OFFERS. EXPIRES 05/31/18

ONLY ONE COUPON PER VISIT. MUST BE PRESENT AT TIME OF WRITE UP. EXCLUDES TAX AND SHOP SUPPLIES. SEE DEALER FOR DETAILS. EXCLUDES DUALLYS. CANNOT BE COMBINED WITH OTHER OFFERS. EXPIRES 05/31/18

EARLY BIRD SPECIALS

8'x12' - 1,599 • 10'x12' - $1,999• 12'x16' - $2,999 $

FIND US ON FACEBOOK!

DEALS

LUBE, OIL & FILTER

Everything built on site with a standard 7’ wall and metal roofing.

LOCALLY OWNED & OPERATED Expiration Date: 04/30/18

281269

To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 �� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 21

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19)

footing – not dreamy ideals.

You might have a hunch or intuitive idea about how to boost your income this week. You also might want to buy something gorgeous and extravagant!

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22)

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Your heart feels open and warm toward others this week, which is why you will enjoy interacting with everyone you meet. You understand what it’s like to walk a mile in their shoes. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) If you can find some privacy this week, it will feel like a luxury to you. You need a little time for a breather in order to get your bearings. CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

You might idealize a friend this week. You might even fall in love with a friend. Of course, the best friendships are on a solid

Some of you will fall in love with your boss this week or someone in a position of authority. In turn, others might be attracted to you! They might seek out your advice. VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Because your appreciation of beauty is heightened this week, you will enjoy solitude in beautiful surroundings. Visit museums, art galleries, parks and gorgeous buildings. LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) People will be more than fair to you if you have to share something like an inheritance or jointly owned property. Be fair to yourself as well. Don’t give away the farm! SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

Relationships with partners and close friends are warm and caring this week. This is a lovely week to enjoy the company of people you like. Spend time with them. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Relationships with co-workers are warm and supportive this week. Someone might want your advice about something because they know you will be sympathetic. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Love at first sight might begin for some of you this week. This is a creative week. It’s also a fun-loving week for social activities, sports events and playful times with children. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) Invite friends and family over because

you will love to entertain them this week. People are warmhearted to each other this week. Good food and laughter will fill the room. PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) You can make money from your words this week. You might inspire someone. This is a strong week for those who write, act or teach. BORN THIS WEEK You are intelligent, and you love to learn. You also are a natural leader. This year is a time of completion and taking inventory. Review past triumphs and failures as you finish this nine-year cycle. You might let go of people, jobs and places in order to move on to something new. You are moving away from heavy burdens to something new and lighter! © 2018 King Features Syndicate Inc.

[Boozy factoids] Lager lifeline If you want to indulge in a little adult beveraging at the giant Mouse House, you’ll have to pay the booze gods a hefty price for it. The average price for a lager at Disney World is $8.49, according to pricepint.com. Teetotalers Despite what your weekends may lead you to believe, a whopping 30 percent of Americans do not drink at all, according Philip J. Cook’s “Paying the Tab.” Snow way You’ve probably never heard of the world’s highest-grossing beer – UNTIL NOW. A little hops-laden drink called Snow, which hails out of China, makes up for 5.5 percent of the market share, according to Business Insider. Bacardi B Much like the rapper Cardi B is the most popular rapper in the DGO headquarters, the most popular liquor brand in Colorado is Bacardi, according to the Bartrendr app.

22 | Thursday, April 12, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[pics]

Weekend happenings around town DGO photo contributor Lucy Schaefer perused Main Avenue, Overland Sheepskin Co., and El Rancho Tavern over the weekend to bring you the very best photographic evidence of Durango’s antics For more photos, go to dgomag.com

�� Thursday, April 12, 2018 | 23