Hitchin' A Ride

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, April 26, 2018

DGO

HITCHIN’ A RIDE On the road with hitchhikers on U.S. Highway 550

Also: Tattoos beyond self-expression, beers and biking, the twisted American history of black braids, and a new Local Yokels column

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DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 3 Number 27 Thursday, April 26, 2018

Editor Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer Jessie O’Brien jobrien@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko 375-4553

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Badass bluegrass

4

Visual

5

Gaming

DGO photo contributor Lucy Schaefer spent the weekend in the midst of bluegrass chaos on Main Ave. just for you.

6

Beauty

8

Sound

Katie Cahill

Check out the photos on Page 23 and many more at dgomag.com

Christopher Gallagher Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch Brett Massé Lindsay Mattison Sean Moriarty

Lucy Schaefer/Special to DGO

Lucy Schaefer

Editor-at-Large

4

Design/layout

Ink utility While tattoos are certainly an artform, the ink beneath the skin is not always about self-expression. For some, like type 1 diabetics, it’s a matter of medical life or death.

Colossal Sanders Reader Services 375-4570 Chief Executive Officer Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising

Amy Maestas David Holub

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

First Draughts 10

Local Yokels

11

16 Weed

Seeing Through the Smoke 16 Review 17

19 Happening

Robert Alan Wendeborn

Founding Editors

Album Reviews 9

18 Life Hax

Cooper Stapleton

David Habrat

8

10 Drink

Contributors

David Holub

Downtown Lowdown

6

Black braids “Hair is a piece of culture that isn’t necessarily always talked about,” said Kaidee Akullo. “We wanted to (create a platform) in which people could share their own personal journeys to combat stereotypes and combat adversity.”

23 Descheduling debate For the first time in a long time, we have in front of us the possibility of the removal of cannabis from the criminal purview – not rescheduling but, descheduling – cops be damned, courts be damned, DEA be damned.

/dgomag

20 DGO Deals 22 Horoscope/ puzzles 23 Pics

/dgomag @dgo_mag

ON THE COVER Kyle Wellborn and Caleb Hardaway in Monument Valley.

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Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

Photos courtesy of Kyle Wellborn ; illustration

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»» The tattooed neck of a 3,000-year-old Egyptian mummy.

Ink utility »» Tattoos are more than an artform While tattoos are certainly an artform, the ink beneath the skin is not always about self-expression. There are ways the centuries-old needle-driven art is being used in practical, or even scientific, ways, often to help make our lives easier. From aesthetics to ancient medicine, here’s how tattoos are used for function.

Chameleon colors Art, science, and health crash together with color-changing tattoo inks

by Dermal Abyss. Still in the research phase, a collaboration of researchers developed three different inks with biosensors that alter colors with the body’s fluids. One of the most exciting is an ink that changes from blue to brown as glucose levels rise. This can be helpful for diabetics who need to monitor their blood sugar. Diabetics getting tattooed isn’t new, though.

Many people get tattoos with traditional ink as a way to alert others in case of an emergency – type 1 diabetes can render a person incapacitated if their sugar drops too low or skyrockets too high, so it’s important to communicate the medical issue to the general public – but this new technology takes this concept to the next level.

Hello, hairline Many women have used tattoos as a way to have un-smudgeable, lifelong makeup with services like permanent eyeliner and eyebrow microblading.

Now men are hopping on board, too, as alternatives like hair plugs still have a long way to go. There are 150,000 hairs on the average human head, and transplants usually only add 2,000 to 3,000 hairs. Micropigmentation offers a disguise for men with receding

hairlines. Professionals use a needle smaller than a standard tattoo needle to mimic hair follicles, and the end result looks like a full head of hair that was buzzed short. Unlike microblading, micropigmentation can last up to 10 years.

Immune boost A 2016 study published in “American Journal of Human Biology” revealed that getting tattooed often can actually improve internal health. The idea is that because tattooing causes damages to the soft tissue, the experience heightens cortisol (the hormone that can kill you) levels. But the theory is that the more you get tattooed, the more the body becomes tolerant to higher cortisol levels, which builds the immune system.

Ancient inkupuncture Ötzi (the man found preserved in the ice in the Ötztal Alps) is the most famous mummy in the world. But did you know he was tatted up like a Hells Angels? That’s right; Ötzi’s skin had 61 tattoos on his back and joint areas.

Researchers found that the majority of these marks were in places that match the classical Chinese acupuncture points utilized to treat rheumatism, according to a Smithsonian article.

—— Jessie O’Brien

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[gaming]

Extra Life | Brett Massé

A goodbye, so long, farewell to DGO

T

he world is a fascinating and very strange place.

On a small level, it is even more fascinating that the mechanics of everyday existence are so simple, relatively speaking. It’s beautiful. Given a certain set of rules, a few avenues of physical probability, one could hypothetically work out not just the way things are, but the way they will be. It’s like chess when you’re down to one corner, or pool when there’s only a couple balls on the table. The thing that seems impossible to understand is the seemingly endless layers of those small details.

I like thinking about how closely identical we are to one another on a certain level. In terms of genetics, there’s not much differentiation between you and me. In terms of chemical makeup, there’s not much difference between us and mushrooms! Take it just a couple steps further and there’s little difference between us and Earth. It’s not hard to eventually recognize that there’s no difference at all between us and everything.

We experience our differences through our stories alone. As the late, great Oliver Sacks wrote in his book, “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat” – “We have, each of us, a life-story, an inner narrative — whose con-

tinuity, whose sense, is our lives. It might be said that each of us constructs and lives, a “narrative,” and that this narrative is us, our identities.”

Playing video games as I grew up led me to feel wildly different from most people, but unbelievably close to others. Through layers of shared experiences and even shared emotions, I remember building close friendships very easily. It’s easy to make friends with someone who lives in your neighborhood or goes to the same school, but even easier to develop a friendship with someone who has also fought to save the Lylat System from Andross, played the most regular human basketball, or endeavored to unite the universe of alien races to push back against the Reapers.

Being a gamer means many different things to many people. I can only speak for myself on how it has individually shaped me. And in that sense, it has left me with an indelible sensation of connection with others. It’s difficult to see someone as being so different when I have experienced such a deep and varied range of emotions with people otherwise completely alien to me. The hierarchy of complexities in all of us are the stories worth celebrating. This is especially true when we collect and recollect

our own stories of self.

Curiosity is the exciting half of learning about things. The world is not only layers of physical structures and interactions, but layers of story. Video games, by the very nature of their design to be engaging and puzzling, instilled in me a confidence and pleasure of finding things out. For all it has contributed to society, markets, culture, and industry, gaming has endowed my life with an unreal quality of connection and curiosity.

If there was one thing I wanted to achieve through writing this column, it was to bring video games to a place that could be appreciated by everyone. Whether you like story, gameplay, design, interaction, sound, or just the relieving ability to let off some steam, there is a game out there for everyone. They are movies, books, music, architecture, anthropology, sociology, psychology, mathematics, even business. They can be unifying and they can be dividing. They can inspire community as well as enable isolation. They are not all good and they are not all bad. Video games, after all, are made by us.

Farewell.

Brett Massé is currently playing Contrast by Compulsion Games

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[beauty]

The twisted American history of

BLACK BRAIDS

Jessie O’Brien DGO STAFF WRITER

Black hair is as much an art form as it is an essential part of African American identity. On April 15, Fort Lewis College Black »» Fort Lewis College Black »» Fort Lewis student Imani Student Union held a hair Student Union President Young show to discuss the historKaidee Akullo ical and cultural meaning women are connected of what black hair represents. to their hair in the same way other “Hair is a piece of culture that isn’t cultures are linked to their art, food, necessarily always talked about,” or music. That connection can often said Kaidee Akullo, president of begin with early memories of sitting the FLC Black Student Union. “We between their mothers’ knees as their wanted to (create a platform) in which hair was tied back so tight it hurt to people could share their own personal smile. So, when European beauty journeys to combat stereotypes and standards encourage black women combat adversity.” to reject their natural beauty while The event started with a short film, white women became trendsetters for “Braided: An American Hair Story,” trends they did not set, it’s easy to unwhich discusses black hair as a source derstand the exasperation displayed of identity. Black women have been

by African American women. Changhistorically shamed and demeaned for ing the names of African styles to “Bo their braids, locs, and twists in Amerbraids,” or “boxer braids,” further ica. It wasn’t until Bo Derek made her allows people to ignore the reality of debut in the 1979 film, “10,” that braids where these looks really came from.

This is why Akullo said that hair is became stylish in the mainstream. Saa form of liberation. Taking control of lons were even promoting “Bo braids” something that has been harshly critiservices. A parallel example exists today with “boxer braids.” They are cized and degraded is empowering for the exact same thing as cornrows, but black women, even though they still the term was taken from women fightface discrimination when they choose to embody their cultural looks. ers in the UFC, who wear their hair Akullo cited a recent example of two back for practical reasons. tied young black girls who spent a week The frustration with appropriation in detention and were kicked off their (aside from Katy Perry’s cringe-worsports teams for wearing braids bethy and audibly offensive “This is How We Do” video, Madonna’s tremcause it was against the school’s dress code. The women at the FLC event disble-inducing grill, and obnoxious-AF Kardashians wearing braids) is the cussed their own daily struggles – some funny, some not – with their hair. lack of acknowledgment of the culture they are stealing from. Black They discussed the lack of salons

»» Fort Lewis student Shelby Robinson

»» Fort Lewis student Synthia Roberts

and products available to them in Durango. One woman joked about the three measly shelves with useful products she calls a DIY section at Sally Beauty. There is no one in town who knows how to style black hair. The most qualified person she was able to find was a white woman, “Shelly,” who she gave kudos to for being from Detroit and previously having black clients. One attendee said her parents always encourage her to embrace her natural beauty and her blackness, but when she was a teenageer she begged her parents for relaxer anyway. An FLC student and employee said people often ask her, “Where are you from? No, where are you REALLY from?” because they are incredulous that a black woman can have straight hair.

The topic switched from hair, to their experiences with microaggressions, to outright racist encounters they’ve faced in our progressive mountain town. One woman was at a stalemate with a grocery store clerk who refused to believe she could afford her groceries. She said the clerk told her they didn’t take food stamps when she had a perfectly fine Chase debit card. Fort Lewis College, which claims to celebrate diversity, did not acknowledge Black History Month and has

»» Fort Lewis student Marika Moss

continued to buck requests for school officials to address the offensive oversight. A masked asshole yelled the N-word at one woman who attended a party on Halloween. One mother’s twin boys were suspended from the first grade (6 years old!) for three days for being too rambunctious. (The example mirrors a recent report by the U.S. Government Accountability Office that revealed large disparities in school discipline based on race.)

This type of disrespect is coming from the same group of people who are borrowing African American style. Nobody is saying wearing your hair in braids is off limits solely because it belongs to black culture, but to give credit where credit is due. This idea was packaged nicely by “Hunger Games” star Amandla Stenberg, who made a YouTube video in 2015 on black hair history 101. She concludes by saying, “What would America be like if it loved black people as much as it loves black culture?”

Until that happens, black women continue to own the complex history of their beautiful, versatile hair in style.

“Hair is about pride, personal expression, and liberation because it is something you always carry with you,” Akullo said.

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[pages]

A former Nazi skinhead repents At age 14, Christian Picciolini attended his first white supremacist meeting. He came from a “normal” home with parents who loved him, worked a lot, and didn’t know where he was. For the first time in his life, Picciolini felt acceptance. He felt powerful. By 16, he was leader of a skinhead gang. Shortly after, he helped organize national mergers of white supremacist groups, forming ideology where skinheads shed overt fashion and infiltrated mainstream society.

“White American Youth: My Descent into America’s Most Violent Hate Movement – And How I Got Out” is the first-hand conversational account of Picciolini embracing a racist life and then realizing, eight years later when he was 22, how horribly wrong it was.

To attempt to make amends, Picciolini started the nonprofit Life After Hate, focused on spreading empathy and helping people leave extremist groups.

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[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Elmore’s Corner and the art of playing in a duo

L

GO! ocal rock band Farmington Hill Friday: Insurgent folk and counwas born a duo. try with Elmore’s Corner, 5 p.m, no Before they named cover. Raven House Gallery, 120 themselves after the interGrand Ave., Mancos. Information: section that leads you to 970-533-7149.

New Mexico – before two indie-alternative country and cow-punk records – it was sician.” just Erik Nordstrom and Paul Aside from being friends “Bubba” Iudice figuring it out who bond over country music, together, outside the Lawn indie, and punk rock, along Chair Kings and the now-dewith camping, beer, Volkswagen funct Freeman Social, their vans, and sleeping in driveways respective bands. and yards after local shows, you can tell they aren’t tired of each The first official outing was other, even after years of leading almost a decade ago, at the Farmington Hill. Each has a “Who’s Your Daddy Festival,” palpable respect for the other’s the old fundraiser for the Duwork ethic and style that is norango Discovery Museum. The two haven’t played many duo ticeable whether you’re sitting shows since. But Nordstrom at a bar with them or watching and Iudice are now changing them onstage. that, performing as Elmore’s “He’s constantly throwing Corner tomorrow in Mancos out these great songs that for the “Spring Hat Gala” at the were just practiced last night.

Raven House Gallery, an art Man, I don’t know, he’s a great and hat sale featuring locally musician, I like his style. He’s designed hats from Shanti Savgot this great sense of music, his arrangement ideas,” said age.

Iudice.

Go back 10 years when the “I love (Iudice’s) songwriting, two started getting together his lyrics. I love his rhythm. He for playing and songwriting has a unique sense of rhythm sessions. Soon after, Farmingthat’s different than the way a lot ton Hill was born – complete of people play,” said Nordstrom. a five-piece band made up with “I think he just has a way of of people with full-time jobs writing good hooks, and I do get and difficult schedules. Named kind of picky about people that I for Nordstrom’s and Iudice’s play with. I think we have simifondness for the sense of place, along with the recollection of lar sensibilities. We’re both into a local geographic area for a the indie rock thing, Pavement band’s name, Elmore’s Corner and punk, and we like Gram ParCourtesy of Elmore’s Corner is an exercise in playing more sons too, and we’re of the same »» Erik Nordstrom and Paul “Bubba” Iudice of Elmore’s Corner. shows with the simplicity of a age group. On top of that he’s duo. Parsing it down to two mujust a nice guy, so that’s another thing.” sicians opens up avenues for them to play shows ate friend or two.

Elmore’s Corner is also looking to get out of Duwhere a smaller group would work best, and helps “We’re not trying to spearhead something new. keep scheduling conflicts with bookings to a minWe’re not trying to do anything other than do rango for shows. The duo has a Memorial Day weekimum. some acoustic duo stuff together, which is always end show booked in Lawrence, Kansas, with rock On the other hand, it also nudges Iudice out of fun,” said Iudice. “I think it will be pushing me band The Ants, in addition to a set at The Dolores beyond my limits. I’m not used to that kind of his comfort zone. One can expect stripped-down River Festival in June. thing. Nord is very comfortable in a jam setting.

Farmington Hill songs with a harmonica solo or two It’s a new thing for me, and I’m excited about it. tossed about, amid the lyrics of broken love, self-reBryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station That’s always fun to try different things as a mumanager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu. flection, self-indulgence, medication, and a degener8 | Thursday, April 26, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[sound] What’s new: Forth Wanderers, “Forth Wanderers” It’s true; I am a sucker for certain aesthetics when it comes to album artwork, like the artwork of Raymond Pettibon, which was donned on the cover of countless SST Records albums, t-shirts, and flyers that were important to me as an impressionable adolescent. Hüsker Dü, Descendents, Sonic Youth, and Black Flag are just a mere few bands that Pettibon did work for. The SST connection made sense, since Raymond’s brother, Greg Ginn, owned and operated the label while playing with Black Flag. Oh, the now iconic four-bar Black Flag logo? Raymond Pettibon. I knew when I saw his artwork that there was a high probability of enjoy-

New at

April 27 Sleep,“The Sciences” After 19 years, the masters of stoner doom have graced us with a surprise new release, courtesy of Jack White’s Third Man Records. I knew this album was going to be great as soon as I got it out of the plastic and read the credits section, in which bassist and singer Al Cisneros was credited with playing the water pipe. The record opens with an overwhelming whirl of fuzz, which is punctuated with the aforementioned, and accredited, bong rip, before sliding into “Marijuanaut’s Theme,” which is about as subtle as you would imagine.

The riffs are massive and it is easy to fall into their rhythm, though those seeking a whole lot of variation will probably get bored fairly quickly. Sleep are defined by their trance-inducing heaviness, and in that, they do not disappoint.

Willie Nelson,“Last Man Standing” Wearing its themes on its sleeve, Willie Nelson’s latest album, “Last Man Standing,” continues Nelson’s ongoing nod to loneliness without the instrumentation getting too plodding or dreary. Almost in spite of itself, a lot of the music on “Last Man Standing” is super upbeat, while the lyrics revel the heavy themes.

one of the first great indie rock records of the season.

ing the music behind the sleeve.

Now, Pettibon did not do the artwork for the self-titled Sub Pop debut from the New Jersey-born indie rock five-piece. Songwriter and guitarist Ben Guterl did, and it immediately struck something in me, just as it did for me many a time over in my preteen and teenage years. The artwork drew me in, but I stayed and replayed, over and over, for the music behind the sleeve. Forth Wanderers have been making music since 2013, but with their second full-length, they have perfected a classic-sounding record of straight-ahead indie rock in the vein of the heavyweight, canonized greats before them. Ava Trilling’s vocals are subdued, sweetly accompanying the rest

On the title track, Nelson notes that he is conflicted about being the last man standing after friends like Waylon Jennings, Merle Haggard, and Ray Price have moved on from this plane. He knows he isn’t long for the world, but he wants to enjoy his time while he can.

Though not exactly new territory for the Texan, it is delivered with the muted respect and self-deprecating humor that has always been Nelson’s trademark. He has been able to deliver great records consistently throughout his career, and like last year’s album, “God’s Problem Child,” this new album is another example of an old artist maintaining his peak.

Forth Wanderers’ self-titled record is available Friday, April 27, via Sub Pop Records on cassette tape, compact disc and on standard black vinyl. Order direct from the label for a shot at a limited Loser Edition opaque orange-colored vinyl while supplies last. Cassette and vinyl versions come with the requisite digital download on your choice of various high-quality formats (320K MP3, FLAC, or ALAC). of the band, rather than fighting to stay ahead of them. Standout tracks include “Taste,” “Saunter,” and both opener and closer, “Nevermine” and “Temporary,” respectively. I anticipate the album getting many a spin this spring and summer as

Recommended for fans of Jay Som, Built to Spill, Waxahatchee, Modern Baseball, Sorority Noise, Car Seat Headrest, Prawn, or Diet Cig.

Amongst GIAA’s discography, “Epitaph” sits on the quieter and slower side, but that’s not to say it’s boring. “Epitaph” is unafraid of silence or space, which is just a part of what gives it power.

week include Janelle Monae, Keith Urban, Godsmack, A Perfect Circle, Neil Young, Old Crow Medicine Show, Sting and Shaggy, Pennywise, Peter Rowan, and more.

Other new releases from this and last

—— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

—— Cooper Stapleton

God Is An Astronaut, “Epitaph” I am a fan of moody music – the kind with quiet dirges and laments that builds up to the emotional apexes, which act as a bursting tidal wave released through the combination of piano chords and pads. God Is An Astronaut have been revelling in the drearier side of post-rock for over 15 years now, and each record finds the time and space to bring in new emotional moments. GIAA’s work is always able to perfectly capture the mood they’re looking for, with layering guitars, Tangerine Dream-style keys, subdued drumming deep in the mix, and haunting whispered vocals. The components build to a sound not similar to genre contemporaries Mogwai or Godspeed You! Black Emperor, but without the guitar solos like Mogwai, or comfortable loops like Godspeed.

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[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Beers and biking is the only way to get around Durango

U

ntil I moved to upstate New York, where the cold, dark winter totally decimated my physical activity level, most of my exercise was not jumping on a treadmill and getting the miles done.

When I lived in Baton Rouge, exercise was riding my bike to work, jogging around the lakes, or going for a bike ride to various places to eat or drink.

In Durango, exercise was a normal part of my life.

All my activities involved physical exertion. The only reason I’d go to the gym was to be better at, and more thoroughly enjoy, the physical activities I was already doing.

When I lived in Portland, Oregon,

Colossal Sanders for DGO

I became very fond of the bar ride – that is, riding my bike to bars that are normally not in my neck of the woods. Because my friends and I were on bikes, we could cheaply visit bars all over town and drink a lot more booze than we normally would had we driven, and we could stay out later than if we relied on public transit.

This activity was closely related to the booze cruise, where we would pack large-format beers, ride to destinations, and drink in public/along the way. In Baton Rouge, the booze cruise was taken to another level with the daiquiri to-go shops.

Nothing better than getting a 32ounce daiquiri on your way home from work when it’s 95 degrees, and 95 percent humidity.

Continued on Page 11

10 | Thursday, April 26, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[local yokels]

El Moro bartender Lucas Hess

ON THE RUM COMEBACK Local Yokels is a new weekly series where we feature someone from Durango who we think you should know. This week meet Lucas Hess, a bartender at El Moro Spirits and Tavern. His love of cocktails runs deep, and while he is a bourbon fan, he said people shouldn’t overlook the spirit found in our favorite tiki drinks.

What’s something you’re excited about in the beverage world right now?

The tried and true recipes are timeless, and there’s a reason behind that just because they’re so simple and so delicious. Summertime is coming up, so I’ve been thinking a lot about daiquiris, which are super simple – lime juice, a little sugar, and a little rum. Rum is one of those spirits that people look over a lot of times or they just don’t really give it a fair shot. But man, they’re excellent for spring and summer.

Why do you think rums are overlooked?

Photo by Jacob Brooks/Brumley & Wells Photography

»» Lucas Hess

From Page 10

Durango didn’t have quite the same drinking and biking culture as Portland when I first moved there, but I found plenty of enjoyable rides with great drinking destinations. My favorite was riding from downtown to Machos North on Florida Road. The slightly uphill ride is short, has a nice bike lane all the way, and is a casual 3 miles from College and Main, making it a 6-mile round trip. Machos North also has a rad outdoor patio, with TVs and a cool water feature. On the way back, make sure and stop at J-Bo’s.

Play some ping pong on the back patio, and you can stay late, as the bar is open til 2 a.m.

Another drinking ride I did a lot in Durango was to Ska Brewing. Partly because it was where I worked, but also because it was easy to find people to tag along with on the chill little 3-mile ride (it is one of those weird rides that somehow ends up being uphill both ways). The beer is also super cold, the beer garden is always filled with rad people when the weather is nice, and Ska has awesome pizza and sandwiches at The Container. This ride is also cool because you can eas-

There are certain areas in the world, of course, where rum is held to a higher esteem, but it seems like these days, a lot of people are a little more

ily make it a long ride by going down 160 (toward Hesperus), turning left on 141, then 210, which will connect you to the frontage road for Highway 550. This turns it into a 12.5-mile ride with almost 1,000 feet of elevation. I promise the beer is even colder after this ride.

Unfortunately, I never got into mountain biking in Durango (what a loser, right?), but that opens up the possibility for cold brewskis at the end of some great rides. It makes me beyond jealous seeing friends posting beers at the top of Telegraph.

I’ve done the hike and it’s cool and all, but I bet doing a beer at the top, catching your breath, then tearing down the trail all the way back into town is better than just walking back.

I love riding my bike and love doing beers, and putting them together is my favorite thing, but you still have to be a responsible cyclist: Always have your lights, helmet, and always follow the traffic laws!

Robbie Wendeborn is the head brewer at Svendæle Brewing in Millerton, New York.

He is also a former beer plumber at Ska Brewing.

into American whiskey or bourbon and don’t really think about rum. People maybe think of specific brands that relate to a bad memory in college or something, and so they won’t even touch it. But like with any spirit, it depends on kind of what you’re sipping on.

What are some good brands you would suggest?

I personally really like this brand, Plantation.

Plantation is a really cool brand out of the sense it has a connection to the past. There’s this cocktail historian who’s delved into unearthing these old recipes. He’s partnered up with a larger company to back this old recipe that he’s found. It’s a blended rum out of Barbados, Guyana. It’s creamy and smooth and delicious.

—— Jessie O’Brien

Patron Silver 375ml

1599

$

1485 Florida Road

970-247-2258

HOURS: MON - THURS: 9-10, FRI & SAT: 9-10:30, SUN: 10-7 www.StarLiquorsDurango.com

������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, April 26, 2018 | 11

»» A

trip from Durango to Ouray with two of Colorado’s hitching travelers

By Jessie O’Brien DGO STAFF WRITER

U

.S. Highway 550 between Durango and Hermosa is one of the few places in America where it’s still normal to see hitchhikers.

For the past two months, I’ve driven that stretch of highway to and from work, and at least once a week I’ll see someone with a large pack, sun-kissed cheeks, and uncombed hair under a sweatstained hat with a thumb in the air. Every time I pass these mysterious travelers, I think to myself, “One of these days I’m going to pull over.”

That day came in early April. I had forgotten a camera for work, and was driving back to get it when I saw two guys on the side of the road. They looked to be in their mid-20s, were hauling a lot of gear, and appeared not to be the steal-your-skin types.

[travel]

MILES

AWAY

»» Kyle Wellborn and Caleb Hardaway in Monument Valley.

They were headed to Ouray, and my mind was miles away from an office chair.

I felt anxious as I pulled off onto the shoulder. It’s exhilarating to do something that most people would consider dangerous.

As they were walking up, I leaned over my seat to throw a yoga mat, towel, backpack (holding my precious, pawnable MacBook), sun shield, and random volleyball into the back of the car. I immediately regretted my decision not to keep the volleyball at arm’s length. I could use the desirable Wilson as bargaining leverage for my life, or as a weapon that I would Karch Kiraly spike into my passengers’ eyes if they made any wrong moves. Now I would have to murder them with my bare hands if it came to it. In retrospect, I realize it would have been wise to scope them out before letting them pile in, but at that point, I was committed.

They opened the trunk and threw in their packs, which were carrying hammocks, a tent, high-end sleeping bags, a backpacking stove, cooking gear, seven days worth of canned food and, though they are beer guys, pints of alcohol because they were easier to carry.

Kyle sat in front. He was initially far more chatty than Caleb, who took the backseat. Both had beards, hats, and sunglasses, and I was immediately disarmed by their lack of creepiness, and Kyle’s eagerness to talk. Plus, they were the ones who should have been worried; they

had just hopped into a smashed up 2009 Chevrolet HHR with poor alignment and massive blind spots – worse than macular degeneration – with a barely-competent driver to take them through the treacherous twists and turns of Red Mountain Pass.

Standard small talk ensued. Before I was able to turn on my phone to record our conversation (and collect clues in case I were to go missing), Kyle filled me in on what they were doing on the side of the road.

My two passengers were from Grand Junction. They had taken a week off from work at Fun Junction, a liquor store that used to be an amusement park of the same name. The purpose of the trip was to hitchhike. They were making a giant loop, and had camped at Capitol Reef National Park, Stout Canyon, by the dam at Lake Powell, Cortez, and Durango.

Both of them have cars, money, and the means to travel, but this was Kyle’s baptism into the world of “only the essentials.” Caleb was more seasoned. Originally from Bay City, Texas, he would hitchhike after floating the river to get a ride back up. He’s hitched thousands of miles, including a trip from Junction to Alaska.

I turned the volume down on Parquet Courts to record while we made small talk about traveling, school loans, and their Continued on Page 14

Courtesy of Kyle Wellborn

12 | Thursday, April 26, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, April 26, 2018 | 13

May 9 • 5:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Science Center 1333 Camino del Rio Local voices. Local stories.

Welcome to Durango Diaries.

This week’s storytellers share their tales of motherhood and moments with their moms. From a mother whose image of drinking sparkling water and rocking her cherubic newborn twins was shattered by dirty diapers and screaming babies to a woman celebrating her first Mother’s Day without her mom, local women tell their stories highlighting the varied moments of motherhood.

Courtesy of Kyle Wellborn

»» Kyle Wellborn walking in Monument Valley, Utah.

From Page 13

Storytellers inlude: • Lisa Ferrell • Robyn Kellogg • Heidi Black • Deanne J. Idar • Dianne Milner

Durang

Diaries

Presented By:

durangoherald.com/durangodiaries

FREE. Kid-friendly. Beer and wine available for purchase.

boss at the liquor store. Caleb silently sipped on a Monster Energy drink in the back seat until Kyle nudged him to talk.

“Caleb is moving to Panama,” Kyle said. “You can speak for yourself.”

“I’m ex-patting,” Caleb said.

I’ve never met anyone who’s traveled as much as Caleb. He takes a week off every month to go somewhere – most recently Colombia, the Gateway in Mesa County with friends, and a solo hitching trip to the Grand Canyon. Hearing how much Caleb has hitched squashed any subconscious stereotypes about hitchhikers I had – people on the sexual offender’s list with a half-empty flask of Old Crow in their back pocket and a missing toe.

People who are forced to rely on others. It’s not a choice.

The reality is though, that Caleb is more disciplined than the majority of Americans. He has a degree. He paid off his motorcycle. He doesn’t have Netflix. He doesn’t buy Starbucks.

“I converted a retired U-Haul truck into a house. I virtually live bill-free,” he said. “When I travel, it ends up being cheaper than when I am at home. Always, I hitchhike. I’m out in nature not spending anything. I can go all over the sickest places in the U.S. for free.”

Most of his income goes to savings, which is why he can take a week off

from work to travel. He could work as little as two shifts per week, but he is saving up enough money to live off of for five years to fund a solo bike trip to Panama.

“I’ve always wanted to do (the) Pan-American Highway. Panama’s economy is really booming so (cycling) is a good way to travel, and see a lot of the world on the way,” Caleb said.

Kyle’s roadmap looks much different. “I don’t have any big future plans,” he said. “I am more or less winging it right now.”

Luckily, winging it is an essential skill for hitching. Two powerful factors – weather and time – are out of your control. At one point, my passengers got caught in a deluge and had to camp next to a dog park. It was a low point, but Kyle said it was a good lesson.

“That night, for me, to an extent, was miserable,” Kyle said. “I still got to sleep though, so it could have been a lot worse. I am glad that happened, because up until that point, it was smooth sailing.”

Another factor is the drivers. Caleb and Kyle say it’s never who you expect to be behind the wheel. As vanning has grown in popularity, one would think that a Volkswagen bus would be a hitcher’s best friend, since the cultures share the same ethos of freedom, traveling, and the road. But that’s not always the case.

14 | Thursday, April 26, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“People with van conversions, young dudes in Chacos driving a Subaru (never pick you up). It’s hardly ever – not like it never happens – a young, liberal, new-age hippy dude,” Caleb said. “I think it’s because those people are not living the lifestyle of fully embracing that people are just people. They are judgier than the old dude who picks you up and understands, ‘I’ve done too much hitchhiking to pass up on a hitchhiker.’”

Kyle was surprised at the unpredictability of their chauffeurs. He said there isn’t a specific demographic, other than people who are open-minded.

“We got picked up by two Korean ladies and only one could speak a little bit of English, but not well enough to continue to talk to,” Kyle said.

It was around this time that we saw two bighorn sheep grazing on the side of the road. “If you haven’t driven this yet, be careful, too, because every deer in Colorado lives on Red Mountain Pass,” Caleb said.

“The other random ride we got was from a state trooper who took us, I want to say 70 miles, from Bryce Canyon to Stout Canyon,” Kyle said. They camped out with a couple who gave them a ride and smoked them up. The currency of hitchhiking is beer and weed, Caleb said.

“We met this dude from Germany who had six months off this year (and is) traveling to the hotspots of the

U.S.,” Kyle said. They went for a swim in the San Juan River near the Arizona-Utah border. The German man, Knoll, took them on a scenic loop through the Valley of the Gods. They also hitched through a few Indian reservations. Kyle said he was uncomfortable with the idea at first.

“When Caleb went to (the) Grand Canyon – Navajo natives live there – the way he explained (his experience) sounded kind of sketchy to me. He got picked up by people who were drinking and driving. Some kid picked him up in a raggedy car and went off-roading.”

But hitching through the reservations were some of the most relaxed parts of the trip. They were picked up by women with children in the car.

(Caleb said he has gotten many rides from women. His mom boils it down to women being more nurturing and sympathetic.)

“Everyone has these interpretations and stories of how they understand how reservations work and how the Native people are now,” Caleb said. “Most people assume – there are issues and stereotypes that come

from the truth – but overall hitchhiking through a reservation is more chill than going through public land.

It’s more of a relaxed culture, more open-minded people. It is honestly common to hitchhike on reservations.

Natives hitchhike through reservations all the time.”

Throughout his hitching career, Caleb said there was only one time he asked to get out. A big rig trucker was incessantly asking him to hang out to the point it made him uncomfortable.

He simply asked to get out and that was that. The strangest people they encountered this trip were, unsurprisingly, from Utah.

“The dude was 36, but he looked young. He was dating this girl who was 23. She was saying she had a baby, but the feds came and took it from her,” Kyle said.

“In reality, they were a little eccentric, a little weird, but so harmless.

The guy bought us scratch tickets,” Caleb said. Kyle won three bucks.

Joey has so far been the most memorable person they’ve met on the trip.

He had been living in his van for five years.

“Street smarts was why he was wise,” Kyle said. “He was book smart, but it was through all his experiences.”

Joey backpacks 200 days a year and supports himself with temp jobs and writing about his experiences.

He told them to always do things for their own personal experience. How many mountains you climbed and how many miles you’ve traveled isn’t a competition.

Not much later, I turned the corner into Ouray. By the time I parked the car, I fully understood the appeal of hitchhiking.

“You are relying on the unknown,” Kyle said. “That’s what makes it adventurous.”

“This is (Kyle’s) first trip, and I’m sure he’s hooked,” Caleb said.

“Oh, I’ll admit, I am,” Kyle said.”

We had a beer before we parted ways. On the way to the car, Caleb told me that traveling with a friend is far more silly than his introspective solo trips, and left me with a word of advice: If I’m ever in Ridgway, go to Taco Del Gnar.

DURANGO’S LARGEST PREMIUM CANNABIS DISPENSARY

WWW.SANTECOLORADO.COM 970-375-BUDS

742½ Main Ave. Durango (IN THE ALLEY)

(970) 375-2837 2nd Ave

Bank of the San Juans

HANDICAP ACCESSIBLE Alley

E 8th St

MOTHER’S DAY

[travel]

Durango Coffee Co

Main Ave

Mutu’s Italian Kitchen

OUR ADVERTISED PRICES INCLUDE TAX HAPPY HOUR - 10% OFF: 4:20–5:20 PM EARLY BIRD - 10% OFF: RECREATIONAL 9–11 AM, MEDICAL 10 –12 PM VETERAN SPECIALS!

WE STOCK OVER 800+ PRODUCTS!

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RECREATIONAL: SUN to WED 9AM-9PM & THUR to SAT 9AM-9:45PM · MEDICAL: SUN to SAT 10AM-6:30PM

������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, April 26, 2018 | 15

MOTHER’S DAY

[travel]

May 9 • 5:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Science Center 1333 Camino del Rio Local voices. Local stories.

Welcome to Durango Diaries.

This week’s storytellers share their tales of motherhood and moments with their moms. From a mother whose image of drinking sparkling water and rocking her cherubic newborn twins was shattered by dirty diapers and screaming babies to a woman celebrating her first Mother’s Day without her mom, local women tell their stories highlighting the varied moments of motherhood.

»» Kyle Wellborn walking in Monument Valley, Utah.

From Page 13

Storytellers inlude: • Lisa Ferrell • Robyn Kellogg • Heidi Black • Deanne J. Idar • Dianne Milner

Durang

Diaries

Presented By:

durangoherald.com/durangodiaries

FREE. Kid-friendly. Beer and wine available for purchase.

boss at the liquor store. Caleb silently sipped on a Monster Energy drink in the back seat until Kyle nudged him to talk.

“Caleb is moving to Panama,” Kyle said. “You can speak for yourself.”

“I’m ex-patting,” Caleb said.

I’ve never met anyone who’s traveled as much as Caleb. He takes a week off every month to go somewhere – most recently Colombia, the Gateway in Mesa County with friends, and a solo hitching trip to the Grand Canyon. Hearing how much Caleb has hitched squashed any subconscious stereotypes about hitchhikers I had – people on the sexual offender’s list with a half-empty flask of Old Crow in their back pocket and a missing toe.

People who are forced to rely on others. It’s not a choice.

The reality is though, that Caleb is more disciplined than the majority of Americans. He has a degree. He paid off his motorcycle. He doesn’t have Netflix. He doesn’t buy Starbucks.

“I converted a retired U-Haul truck into a house. I virtually live bill-free,” he said. “When I travel, it ends up being cheaper than when I am at home. Always, I hitchhike. I’m out in nature not spending anything. I can go all over the sickest places in the U.S. for free.”

Most of his income goes to savings, which is why he can take a week off

from work to travel. He could work as little as two shifts per week, but he is saving up enough money to live off of for five years to fund a solo bike trip to Panama.

“I’ve always wanted to do (the) Pan-American Highway. Panama’s economy is really booming so (cycling) is a good way to travel, and see a lot of the world on the way,” Caleb said.

Kyle’s roadmap looks much different. “I don’t have any big future plans,” he said. “I am more or less winging it right now.”

Luckily, winging it is an essential skill for hitching. Two powerful factors – weather and time – are out of your control. At one point, my passengers got caught in a deluge and had to camp next to a dog park. It was a low point, but Kyle said it was a good lesson.

“That night, for me, to an extent, was miserable,” Kyle said. “I still got to sleep though, so it could have been a lot worse. I am glad that happened, because up until that point, it was smooth sailing.”

Another factor is the drivers. Caleb and Kyle say it’s never who you expect to be behind the wheel. As vanning has grown in popularity, one would think that a Volkswagen bus would be a hitcher’s best friend, since the cultures share the same ethos of freedom, traveling, and the road. But that’s not always the case.

14 | Thursday, April 26, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“People with van conversions, young dudes in Chacos driving a Subaru (never pick you up). It’s hardly ever – not like it never happens – a young, liberal, new-age hippy dude,” Caleb said. “I think it’s because those people are not living the lifestyle of fully embracing that people are just people. They are judgier than the old dude who picks you up and understands, ‘I’ve done too much hitchhiking to pass up on a hitchhiker.’”

Kyle was surprised at the unpredictability of their chauffeurs. He said there isn’t a specific demographic, other than people who are open-minded.

“We got picked up by two Korean ladies and only one could speak a little bit of English, but not well enough to continue to talk to,” Kyle said.

It was around this time that we saw two bighorn sheep grazing on the side of the road. “If you haven’t driven this yet, be careful, too, because every deer in Colorado lives on Red Mountain Pass,” Caleb said.

“The other random ride we got was from a state trooper who took us, I want to say 70 miles, from Bryce Canyon to Stout Canyon,” Kyle said. They camped out with a couple who gave them a ride and smoked them up. The currency of hitchhiking is beer and weed, Caleb said.

“We met this dude from Germany who had six months off this year (and is) traveling to the hotspots of the

from the truth – but overall hitchhiking through a reservation is more chill than going through public land.

It’s more of a relaxed culture, more open-minded people. It is honestly common to hitchhike on reservations.

Natives hitchhike through reservations all the time.”

Throughout his hitching career, Caleb said there was only one time he asked to get out. A big rig trucker was incessantly asking him to hang out to the point it made him uncomfortable.

He simply asked to get out and that was that. The strangest people they encountered this trip were, unsurprisingly, from Utah.

“The dude was 36, but he looked young. He was dating this girl who was 23. She was saying she had a baby, but the feds came and took it from her,” Kyle said.

“In reality, they were a little eccentric, a little weird, but so harmless.

The guy bought us scratch tickets,” Caleb said. Kyle won three bucks.

Joey has so far been the most memorable person they’ve met on the trip.

He had been living in his van for five years.

“Street smarts was why he was wise,” Kyle said. “He was book smart, but it was through all his experiences.”

Joey backpacks 200 days a year and supports himself with temp jobs and writing about his experiences.

He told them to always do things for their own personal experience. How many mountains you climbed and how many miles you’ve traveled isn’t a competition.

Not much later, I turned the corner into Ouray. By the time I parked the car, I fully understood the appeal of hitchhiking.

“You are relying on the unknown,” Kyle said. “That’s what makes it adventurous.”

“This is (Kyle’s) first trip, and I’m sure he’s hooked,” Caleb said.

“Oh, I’ll admit, I am,” Kyle said.”

We had a beer before we parted ways. On the way to the car, Caleb told me that traveling with a friend is far more silly than his introspective solo trips, and left me with a word of advice: If I’m ever in Ridgway, go to Taco Del Gnar.

DURANGO’S LARGEST PREMIUM CANNABIS DISPENSARY

WWW.SANTECOLORADO.COM 970-375-BUDS

742½ Main Ave. Durango (IN THE ALLEY)

(970) 375-2837 2nd Ave

Bank of the San Juans

HANDICAP ACCESSIBLE Alley

E 8th St

Courtesy of Kyle Wellborn

U.S.,” Kyle said. They went for a swim in the San Juan River near the Arizona-Utah border. The German man, Knoll, took them on a scenic loop through the Valley of the Gods. They also hitched through a few Indian reservations. Kyle said he was uncomfortable with the idea at first.

“When Caleb went to (the) Grand Canyon – Navajo natives live there – the way he explained (his experience) sounded kind of sketchy to me. He got picked up by people who were drinking and driving. Some kid picked him up in a raggedy car and went off-roading.”

But hitching through the reservations were some of the most relaxed parts of the trip. They were picked up by women with children in the car.

(Caleb said he has gotten many rides from women. His mom boils it down to women being more nurturing and sympathetic.)

“Everyone has these interpretations and stories of how they understand how reservations work and how the Native people are now,” Caleb said. “Most people assume – there are issues and stereotypes that come

Durango Coffee Co

Main Ave

Mutu’s Italian Kitchen

OUR ADVERTISED PRICES INCLUDE TAX HAPPY HOUR - 10% OFF: 4:20–5:20 PM EARLY BIRD - 10% OFF: RECREATIONAL 9–11 AM, MEDICAL 10 –12 PM VETERAN SPECIALS!

WE STOCK OVER 800+ PRODUCTS!

WWW.SANTECOLORADO.COM • 742½ MAIN AVENUE • DURANGO, CO

RECREATIONAL: SUN to WED 9AM-9PM & THUR to SAT 9AM-9:45PM · MEDICAL: SUN to SAT 10AM-6:30PM

������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, April 26, 2018 | 15

[ weed ] Seeing Through the Smoke Christopher Gallagher

Descheduling marijuana is the only way to fix the mess

T

he possibility of federally legal cannabis looms larger today than it has at any time since the tail end of the Great Depression, when the participants of Roosevelt’s New Deal were laying the physical foundation for modern America.

It was Henry Aslinger who first brought us cannabis prohibition, but that was another era. Then, the hippie movement of the 1960s brought hope for Mary Jane, with Timothy Leary exposing the technical flaw of the Marihuana Tax Act of 1937 – the violation of the Fifth Amendment against self-incrimination. That Leary was a wily one.

Richard Nixon is at the root of our current mess. In 1970, Nixon created a committee, run by the former governor of Pennsylvania, Raymond P. Shafer, to investigate and report on cannabis.

The Shafer Commission conducted its research, and while the Controlled Substances Act was being drafted, cannabis was placed under the Schedule I category, a place from which it has never returned.

The DEA defines Schedule I drugs as, “drugs with no currently accepted medical use, and a high potential for abuse.” The rest of the list includes heroin (of course!), MDMA, LSD and some other hallucinogens, and Quaaludes – which, while I am too young to know directly, I have been told should have been taken off the streets.

For perspective, Schedule II – “drugs with a high potential for abuse, with use potentially leading to severe psychological or physical dependence … also considered dangerous” – includes cocaine and methamphetamine.

All of the glorious mess – the legal mess, the social mess, the medical mess, the comedies and tragedies that have played out daily for decades

Colossal Sanders for

DGO; images via Wi

kipedia and Adobe Sto

around this plant – have followed that move to Schedule I. Are you ready for the kicker? After two years of investigation, Schafer and his people concluded

ck

that cannabis was not a danger to society, and that it should be removed from federal scheduling entirely.

It should instead be dealt with by social channels, much like how alcohol was treated. Shafer’s report, “Marihuana: A Signal of Misunderstanding,” states that, “Considering the range of social concerns in contemporary America, marihuana does not, in our considered judgment, rank very high.

We would deemphasize marihuana as a problem.” It seems that the more things change in America…

But Tricky Dick decided not to follow through on the recommendations of the Shafer report. He had other plans entirely. A couple of years later, he resigned in disgrace, and now here we are, a generation later, left to sort the cannabis fallout.

Since 1972, citizens and politicians alike have been fighting a culture war, with cannabis as the central figure. We have been lied to by our government. Supporters of the plant have been persecuted and prosecuted. But, as the old saying goes, “Three things cannot be hidden for long: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”

The truth about cannabis has been exposed. That, my friends, is where things get interesting.

For the first time in a long time, we have in front of us the possibility of the removal of cannabis from the criminal purview – not rescheduling but, descheduling – cops be damned, courts be damned, DEA be damned. This would be the correct response to the way our government has handled its part in this saga.

Christopher Gallagher lives with his wife and their four dogs and two horses. Life is pretty darn good. Contact him at chrstphrgallagher@gmail.com.

16 | Thursday, April 26, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[review]

Alien Nightmare, a magical weed cure for insomnia Fellow insomniacs: Alien Nightmare should come with a warning (other than its name). That warning should specify that if you smoke one tiny bowl at 8 p.m. on a Monday night, you will be super stoned and then pass out for the next 12 hours.

In other words, if you have trouble falling and/or staying asleep, it should explicitly state how awesome this strain is.

In case you haven’t figured it out, this week we’re reviewing Alien Nightmare, an indica hybrid that’s crossbred from Aliens on Moonshine x White Nightmare. It is (apparently) super strong, smells a bit like a mint that fell in the mud, and the buds are tiny. Nothing about it smells or looks intimidating, which is why I thought I could smoke a tiny bowl and be fine. I was fine, because I needed to sleep, but if you need to be productive, stay away.

You can’t fight that Alien Nightmare feeling. Trust.

When I say I smoked a tiny bowl, I mean it. I’ve learned my lesson about school nights, so I loaded the pipe with the most mouse-sized amount of weed one can load without causing inhalation issues. It was the equivalent of about five hits. Five hits were enough.

Price: Currently cultivated for recreational and medical; available on recreational for $11 a gram and $38.50 an eighth Caveats: Prohibition Herb provided this sample for review purposes, but only gave us the gift of good sleep, not a bribe for our review. shut themselves. Body part anarchy at its finest. I tried reading a different version of that news story, but it just wasn’t going to register. I tried to play on Facebook, but quit after I kept accidentally posting weird memes on peoples’ posts.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

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At some point – not sure how long, because I was so stoned time felt like it was ticking in slow motion – I reached couch lock territory. I usually abhor that feeling, but in this case, it was a relief. Most nights, I toss and turn, and then wake up at 3 a.m. to stare at the ceiling until the sun comes up. But after the couch lock, I passed out, warm and fuzzy to my bones, and stayed that way until 7:45 a.m. I cannot tell you the last time I slept that well.

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It only took about oh, five minutes or so before my limbs felt like pudding, and – I swear – I started heavy blinking for an average of 13 seconds at a time.

My eyes wanted to defy my brain and

Where to find Alien Nightmare: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino Del Rio, 970-3858622, prohibitionherb.com

HWY 550 (CAMINO DEL RIO)

This strain has a reputation for being a creeper, but it was clear early on that this strain is not a creeper when mixed with my cells. I started feeling the effects after one hit, which seemed absurd at the time.

That’s why I kept smoking it. By the time that bowl was cashed, I was pretty darn stoned. My notes say, verbatim: “I didn’t even smoke that much! I wonder why indicas make me so stoned.” I had a major body high, a pretty decent head high – my notes equate it to feeling like a balloon being inflated – and I was VERY into reading the same news story, over... and over... and over.

Details

LIGHT

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[advice]

Life Hax | Carolyn Hax

I have PTSD at 63 years old. Am I too old for therapy?

I’m a woman who has had PTSD for 28 years after being raped and beaten. I’m now 63 and it seems to be getting worse. Am I too old to go for therapy?

Should I just resign myself to living with this for the rest of my life?

whether and when to try again. But the more immediate issue is for you to find the support you need to heal. As your strength returns, clarity likely will too.

Take care.

Feeling Old

What does a person do if after 30 years of marriage, they aren’t the most important item in their spouse’s life? The kids are now grown and gone, but his career is still his No. 1 with his parents being No. 2. Is it too late to move on and start over?

“Too old to go for therapy”? Are you also too old to take medicine when you’re ill, or go to the ER when you break something?

You were grievously harmed. You would seek care under any other circumstances, presumably, so please recognize that and do so now.

All of us have just one job, when you think about it: Live the best life we can at any given stage. To each his own definition of “best,” of course – but none will last long if it doesn’t involve taking care of ourselves.

For you that means getting (back) into treatment when something triggers your PTSD symptoms. I’m sorry this happened to you.

I hope in addition to treatment, you’ll also seek refuge in affirmations of life – nature, art, humor, kindness. They’re always there when we need them; just sometimes we have to look.

I terminated a pregnancy recently due to medical reasons. It was a planned pregnancy with unplanned results. I need to talk about this. I know I should see a therapist, and maybe I’ll call today, but my husband doesn’t want to talk about it and I do. It’s been four weeks today and the only thing he’ll engage on is the medical bills (painfully low five figures with insurance), although it’s still up to me to figure those out too. I need engagement, let alone intimacy.

Talking About Loss I am so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry you’re so alone in your grief – which might even feel harder to deal with because it’s not the result of “medical reasons” beyond your control.

So, yes, please call a therapist today. Also try Resolve.org, which offers online support and therefore has a much lower barrier to entry; you won’t have to wait till there’s an appointment available.

There will come a time when you want and need to address the fact that your husband is ... unable? unwilling? ill-equipped? to be your partner as you grieve. Finding a healthy emotional dynamic when things go wrong is as essential to your family planning as insurance and finances and health and

Anonymous

Most were taking the “I’ll talk about it when my child asks” approach. I don’t go out of my way to raise this subject with my daughter, but I do look for appropriate opportunities to initiate these conversations. I don’t know that a child always knows how to bring these topics up.

We have talked about inappropriate touching and rape but also the fact that adults engage in certain activities because it feels good. We have discussed internet predators and the fact that I have an IUD and why. We’ve also talked about what she might feel when puberty begins.

I’m such an outlier – have I jumped the gun?

The concept of “too late” doesn’t make any more sense to me than “too old” does. This is the only life you’ve got regardless of how much you have left.

You could have far more of it left than you think, too – or far less. Same for your husband, your husband’s parents, your husband’s job.

You can only weigh your options, choose the certainties you like best, then leap into the uncertainty of everything else. Would you rather be on your own than stick around as your husband’s No. 3 priority?

Can you afford to be on your own financially? Will leaving your marriage cost you your kids’ loyalty?

Your friends? Your home? Would these or other unintended consequences cost you more than you’d gain by leaving? Would it make more sense to reset your priorities to suit your life right now?

Your husband, you seem to be saying, is all about work and his parents and then he comes home to you.

So you, too, can be all about [blank] and [blank] and then come home to him.

I wonder if you have already lived a version of this without realizing it: Before your kids were grown and gone, isn’t is possible they were your Nos. 1 and 2?

Maybe before you decide the future of your marriage, it makes sense to think carefully about your future, period. About your purpose. About what’s achievable (more than you think) and makes you feel useful, focused, good. It’s not a perfect solution, certainly. But any decision you make after a thought process like this will be far better than simply resigning yourself to slog through the rest of your days – which is all “too late” really means.

This week I was in a discussion with a bunch of other third-grade parents about what our kids know about sex. The vast majority of these parents said their children were “clueless” and they wanted to maintain their kids’ innocence. I was one of the few people who had even had conversations with my child about reproduction, consent and puberty.

Too Young?

No, you did not “jump the gun.” Kids are certainly not now and have rarely ever been “clueless” about what adults try to keep from them. Especially now that so many kids carry around the entire internet in their pockets.

And if you’re a parent who feels exempt because your kid doesn’t have a phone, or you’ve used all the parent controls, you’re not exempt. The filters are tissue paper and your phoneless kid mingles with phone-equipped kids every day. And they rarely resist nosing into anything their parents treat as too embarrassing or taboo to talk about.

Please tell such parents their kids ARE absorbing information, they just aren’t asking adults. They’re learning from bus-stop Bobby with much-older siblings and checked-out parents.

Denial is not the answer. Your approach is: Talk openly with kids about their world, early enough and often enough and unflinchingly enough that you set a precedent of being the safe place to bring their difficult questions. It starts when they’re 2 or 3 and they ask you where babies come from – and instead of freaking out and deflecting, you give facts commensurate with their ability to understand. Deborah Roffman’s books are excellent on how to do this.

Even then, eventually kids will Google more and ask less – but when they apply diligence and openness and a minimum of self-delusion, parents can at least minimize what their kids feel they have to hide. No topic should ever be off-limits, especially not one a kid raises.

Carolyn Hax is a syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post. She started her advice column in 1997, after five years as a copy editor and news editor in Style and none as a therapist. Email her at tellme@ washpost.com.

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[happening]

DGO’s picks in and around Durango Celebrate CeleFunktion

Thursday Cardio and strength interval class, 9 a.m.,

Edgemont Highlands Community Lodge, 40 Red Canyon Trail.

Toddler story time, 10:30

Want to get a little funky? Of course you do. CeleFunktion Block Party, a weekend graduation shindig, will kick off with a ton of booty-shakin’ musical acts, including Ralphsta, Melody Lines, Pandasaywhat?!, J-Calvin’s Funk Express, Liver Down the River, and Elder Grown.

Details: April 26-28, $25 to $65, 7 p.m., Animas City Theatre and Balcony Backstage, animascitytheatre.com

a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. Conversational American Sign Language, 5:30

p.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Open mic night, 6 p.m.,

Eno Cocktail Lounge and Wine Bar, 723 East Second Ave., 3850105.

CeleFunktion, 7:30 p.m.,

$15, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 799-2281.

Pandasaywhat with Melody Lines and Ralphsta,

8 p.m., $15-$65, Balcony Backstage, 600 Main Ave.

Friday Art and communication design student exhibition, 10 a.m., Fort Lewis

College Art Gallery, 1000 Rim Drive.

Courtesy of J-Calvin’s Funk Express

Hi-Tech happy hour Do you like booze, ice cold brews from Ska Brewing, wines from Infinite Monkey Theorem, and chatting about high-tech tools? Well, you’re in luck.

High tech happy hour at the MakerLab was BUILT for you. You can play with machinery while quenching your thirst. Who could ask for more?

Details: April 27, free, 4 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1295 Camino Del Rio, powerhousesc.org

Films on tour If you’re into award-winning films, awesome gear auctions, and food and drinks, you should probably head over to Dolores for the 14th Annual Mountainfilm on Tour & Great Outdoors Silent Auction. The night will feature award-winning films from Telluride Mountainfilm Festival, a huge auction, and a Kid Zone. A win all around.

Details: April 27, $10, 5:30 p.m., Dolores Community Center, 400 Riverside Ave., Dolores, dolorescommunitycenter.com

DRAGrango returns Are you feeling a little extra fancy? Or would you just like to witness sheer fierceness and fanciness? Then you should head over to the 3rd Annual DRAGrango, Durango’s fierce, flawless drag show, with the hilarious Allie Wolfe as the night’s host. You. Better. Werk.

Preschool story time,

10:30 a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. Pine River Library at the Senior Center, 12:30 p.m.,

Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 8842222.

Letter to your Congressman Party, 1 p.m., Durango

Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. STEAM Lab, 3:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Sunny and the Whiskey Machine, 5 p.m., Balcony

Backstage, 600 Main Ave. CeleFunktion, 5 p.m., $25-

$30, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 799-2281.

Mountainfilm on Tour in Dolores, CO, 5:30 p.m., $10,

Dolores Community Center, 400 Riverside Ave.

Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave., 403-1200.

J-Calvin’s Funk Express,

10 p.m., $25-$65, Balcony Backstage, 600 Main Ave.

Saturday Pagosa Springs 9Health Fair, 7 a.m., Pagosa Springs

High School, 800 S. Eighth St., Pagosa Springs, 264-2231.

Durango Home and Ranch Show, 10 a.m., $5, La

Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave., 749-5582.

Metropolitan Opera in HD, 11 a.m., $20-$23, Fort

Lewis College, Student Union, Vallecito Room, 1000 Rim Drive, 247-7657.

Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m.,

Jean Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave. Living with Wildfire, 1 p.m., $8-$10, Mancos Brewing Co., 484 U.S. Highway 160, Mancos.

John L. Kessell Talk and Book Signing, 1 p.m., Ani-

mas Museum, 3065 West Second Ave., 259-2402, Carute Roma, 3 p.m., $8-

$10, Mancos Brewing Co., 484 U.S. Highway 160, Mancos.

The Gershom Brothers, 5

p.m., Balcony Bar and Grill, 600 Main Ave., 422-8088, CeleFunktion Day Three,

5 p.m., $15, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 7992281, Afrobeatniks, 6 p.m., $8-

$10, Mancos Brewing Co., 484 U.S. Highway 160, Mancos.

Greg Ryder, 7 p.m., Office

Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 375-7260.

“DRAGrango” performance, 7:30 p.m., $25, Henry

Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 375-7160.

Farmington Hill and Robby Overfield with The Breaks and The Crags, 8 p.m., $15-$65, Balco-

ny Backstage, 600 Main Ave.

Pushing the Limits: Heritage, 5:30 p.m., Ignacio Com-

Sunday

munity Library, 470 Goddard Ave., Ignacio.

Durango Home and Ranch Show, 10 a.m., $5, La

Details: April 28, $25, 7:30 p.m., Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., henrystratertheatre.com

Black Velvet, 5:30 p.m., Di-

Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave., 749-5582.

Movie Monday!

Karaoke, 7 p.m., Durango

Head over to Bayfield for Classic Movie Monday, which features this week the 1958 film, “The Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.” Along with the alien action and floozy-hubby drama, you’ll also get some free popcorn to shovel into your mouth as it’s agape.

“Wonder” movie screening, 7 p.m., Pine River Library,

2 p.m., Balcony Bar and Grill, 600 Main Ave, 422-8088.

395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Silver ball pinball tournament, 4 p.m., $5, JBo’s

Robby Overfield, 7 p.m.,

Pizza and Rib Co., 1301 Florida

Details: April 30, free, 7 p.m., Pine River Public Library, Pine River Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, prlibrary.org

amond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Veterans of Foreign Wars, 1550 Main Ave.

Henry Stoy piano, 11 a.m.,

Jean Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave. Thee Fearless Peasants,

Road, 259-0010.

Bluemoon Ramblers, 7 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 247-4431.

Durango Nature Studies full moon hike, 7:30 p.m.,

$0-$10, Falls Creek Trailhead, County Road 205.

Monday Cardio and strength interval class, 9 a.m.,

Edgemont Highlands Community Lodge, 40 Red Canyon Trail.

Jammin’ Juniors, 10 a.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 8842222.

Classic Movie Monday: “The Attack of the 50 Foot Woman” (1958), 7

p.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, Bayfield, 884-2222.

Tuesday Democrats May luncheon, noon, $19-$22,

DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio. Baby story time, 2 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave., 375-3380.

Montessori open house,

3:30 p.m., Durango Montessori School, 1309 East Third Ave., Suite 6.

Wednesday 17th annual Southern Ute career fair, 9 a.m., Igna-

cio High School, 315 Ignacio St., Ignacio.

T(w)een Time, 4 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 East Third Ave. MYAC Youth Expo, 4 p.m.,

Buckley Park, 1250 Main Ave. Dr. Melaney Presents: Ignite Gratitude, 5:15 p.m., R

Space, 734 East Second Ave. SMART Recovery Durango, 5:30 p.m., Suttle Street

Clinic, 72 Suttle St., Suite M. Health care documentary, 5:30 p.m., The People’s

Place, 215 E. Main St., Cortez.

Submissions To submit listings for publication in DGO and www.dgomag.com, visit

www.swscene.com, click “Add Your Event,” enter the event info into the form and submit.

Listings at www.swscene.com will appear on www.dgomag. com and in our weekly print edition. Posting an event on www.swscene.com is free and takes one day to process.

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Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Do not be ruthless this week because you might be tempted to achieve your goals at any cost whether they are big or minor. Don’t do this.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Be careful about arguments and heated debates about sensitive subjects because people have strong feelings this week – even to the point of violence. Avoid these discussions.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Disputes about shared property, inheritances and anything that you own jointly with someone else could be upsetting this week. People are locked into their positions. Postpone these discussions for another week.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

You might be at odds with a partner or

close friend this week. Perhaps you even feel attacked by this person. That’s because this week, people are pushy about their agenda. (Lighten up.)

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) You will work hard in your job this week to achieve what you want to get done.

You also might work hard in order to do something to improve your health. Your involvement with a pet might be intense as well.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Be gentle with your children this week.

Don’t be pushy or overbearing because this is not the solution. This will only make matters worse. Kindness is the most important thing.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) Family disputes are likely this week, or perhaps you might encounter obstacles with plumbing, broken appliances or

general problems. Patience is your best recourse.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) Although you are persuasive this week, you might come on too strong for others.

Try to be aware of this. Pull back a little, and be more sensitive and aware of how people are responding to you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) You will work hard to make money this week. You might even be bossy about it.

Trust your moneymaking ideas.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) This week, fiery Mars is lined up with Pluto in your sign, which makes you aggressive, proactive and maybe a bit too much in the eyes of some. Keep this in mind. Easy does it.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) Some kind of secret or behind-thescenes activity is going on this week.

Stay away from dangerous areas and any place with potential crime or violence.

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) If you encounter pushy people this week, step aside. Do not engage them. People are aggressive this week.

BORN THIS WEEK You are resolute and steadfast. (Sometimes you appear aloof.) You like to have a plan. You are loyal to your ideals. This is a year full of excitement and stimulation!

Embrace change and new opportunities.

Be prepared to act fast. Your personal freedom will be a top priority. You will travel and do things to expand your horizons. Enjoy this busy, fast-paced year! © 2018 King Features Syndicate Inc.

[fast facts] Hitchin’ posts Danger, Will Robinson While hitchin’ a ride isn’t exactly safe – from 1979 to 2009, there were 675 reported victims of sexual assault and murder along Interstate Highways – it’s a lot safer than we’re told in school. You’re actually more likely to die from falling than hitching. (Not that we’re endorsing either one.)

Hitchin’ ain’t easy Free rides don’t come easy. Ass, cash, or grass, nobody rides for free. Well, sometimes they do, but if you’re looking to hitch across the nation, you should be prepared to walk. A lot.

It’s a man’s world Statistics show that solitary men – not women – are most likely to pick up hitchhikers. Our staff writer is clearly the exception to this rule.

It’s murdaaaa Some of the most famous hitching murders happened between 1972 and 1973 in Santa Rosa, California, when at least seven women were murdered while hitchhiking. The cases are still unsolved.

22 | Thursday, April 26, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[pics]

Badass bluegrass DGO photo contributor Lucy Schaefer spent the weekend in the midst of bluegrass chaos, pickin’ in the lobby of the Strater Hotel, Balcony Backstage, Orio’s Roadhouse, and more.

For more photos, go to dgomag.com

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