Bagging Blothar

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, October 18, 2018

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BAGGING BLOTHAR Intergalactic mutant metalheads GWAR talk Trump, Nazis, and animal husbandry

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Also: Kief joints, Posh Josh, and a pumpkin spice showdown

[advice]

Rocky Road | Katie Burford

Readers, you’re worrying us Dear Readers: I feel like your mom. When I don’t hear from you, I worry. I know you’re busy, that your attention is pulled in a thousand directions, but if you would just take a minute to drop me a line, I would feel so much better. I’ll even put the contact info right here up top in case you get distracted before you get to the end: rockyroad@dgomag. com, @rockyroadadvice (Twitter) or Rocky Road, 1021 Main Ave, Durango, CO 81301.

This is ostensibly an advice column, but I’m interested in whatever you have to share, be it a question, comment or haiku. You may identify yourself by a pseudonym, a descriptor, a first name only or merely as anonymous.

So while I wait to hear from you, I’ll address what I know is going on but maybe you don’t want to talk about: anxiety.

Researchers have documented a sharp rise in anxiety among young people in recent years, and here it is no different. A recent Fort Lewis College survey found that 68 percent of students felt overwhelming anxiety in the last 12 months compared with 47 percent in 2010.

This is especially concerning because of the link between anxiety and suicide, which has also been on the rise, particularly Colorado. In the past decade, suicide rates among those 20 to 24 years old have nearly doubled, according to state health department records.

(Earlier this month the Durango Herald published an excellent series on the subject titled Creating connections: Solutions to youth suicide in La Plata County.

You can check it out on their website.)

As for why so much anxiety, various culprits have been indicted, including helicopter parents, over-scheduled kids, and ruptured families. But top of the prime suspects list is smartphones. This is because they offer a window through which we observe the rest world, and too often measure ourselves deficient in comparison. And because our devices’ demanding missives keep us always on edge.

This presents a real challenge for soci-

ety, because the chance of smartphones going away is exactly zero percent. We love our phones just as much as we love to hate them.

Given that our anxiety-ridden reality is here to stay, here’s a list of ways that have helped me most to cope.

Turn down the volume on the digital world Humans are social animals. Relationships are as essential to our survival as food, water, and exercise. Social media activates that part of our brain that is wired for connection, but it does not nourish it deeply. It’s basically junk food for our psyche. Like junk food, it’s oh-so-delicious while you are eating it, but after gorging you feel kinda sick and kinda guilty.

I let my social media go dormant a year ago, and found I was able to function just fine without it. Granted, I was born before the Internet, so I’m not the prime demographic for these platforms.

Actually, I think young people get a bad rap when it comes to smartphone self-control. Having the world in their pocket is not a new or novel experience to them. I have worked closely with a number of young people, and the majority of them are quite good at setting their own limits. But it’s a David v Goliath battle, considering the multi-billion dollar attention industry we are up against.

The point here is that our time and attention are precious, and we should be as stingy with them as we are with the greenbacks in our bank accounts. The more attention we pay to our immediate circles, the more that investment will come back to us. (P.S. If you’re looking for concrete ways to dial back your smartphone usage, check out the “Take Control” section of the Center for Humane Technology’s website.)

Turn up your awareness With so many alarm bells piping in through our phones, we become a little bit like trauma victims, in a constant state of hyper-vigilance. After a while, perpetual alertness starts to feel normal.

In the process of habituating to overstimulation, we learn to ignore the physical

and emotional warning signs that our nervous systems are overloaded.

To reverse this, we have to reacquaint ourselves with our inner sensations, writes Bessel A. van der Kolk, author of “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.”

“Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside ourselves.”

I imagine this kinda like Sherlock Holmes (the Benedict Cumberbatch version) sitting on my shoulder analyzing the crime scene (my crappy mood) and deducing when anxiety struck and what particular worry the bastard used to slay my serenity. Often the worry itself, when removed from the hand of the assailant, is a flimsy little thing, capable of sitting on the self without causing much trouble.

To listen to your inner music, you have to quiet the outer world. This doesn’t mean you have to join a Buddhist monastery. It just starts with reserving some small part of your day to be alone with your thoughts.

Be compassionate toward yourself The worst part of my twenties was feeling like the countdown was on for me to make my mark, follow my passion, and define my identity. Instead, my passions were leading me down dead ends, my mark kept washing away with the rain, and my identity was written in a language I didn’t understand.

Come to find out, this is normal (except for that rare bird that has it all figured out from the start). Had I known that, I might have been gentler toward myself. So I’m telling you: Forgive yourself your failings. You will have many, many opportunities to make it right. The road of life is long and winding. Hard as it may be, forgot about the destination.

Give yourself permission to enjoy the scenery. Might as well, because wherever you think you’re going, you’ll likely to end up somewhere completely different.

Be of service Various studies have found that when

confronted with an unexpected windfall, we feel happier giving it away than we do spending it on ourselves. This goes back to the part about us being social animals.

In order for us to live together in tribes, we had to be wired for a certain amount of altruism. Thank goodness it feels good to help others or things would be much, much shittier than they are.

Big or small, any level of helping helps your wellbeing. (My suggestion for one that won’t cost you a thing: choose NOT to honk when another driver does something you deem as stupid. Just don’t.

Trust me, you’ll feel better.) Even tending to a pet has been found to lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. God knows in Durango we are good at loving our dogs.

Get some sleep Here’s me giving advice I’ve routinely ignored myself. So don’t listen to me, listen to Dr. Seuss.

The news Just came in From the County of Keck That a very small bug By the name of Van Vleck Is yawning so wide You can look down his neck.

This may not seem Very important, I know.

But it is. So I’m bothering Telling you so.

A yawn is quite catching, you see. Like a cough.

It just takes one yawn to start other yawns off.

— The Sleep Book Notice he didn’t a say it takes just one Zzz emoji to set other Zzz emojis off?

Just saying.

Katie Burford has worked a social worker, journalist, university instructor, nanny and barista. These days, she’s a mom, professional ice cream maker and writer. Reach her at rockyroad@dgomag.com, @rockyroadadvice (Twitter) or Rocky Road, 1021 Main Ave, Durango, CO 81301.

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DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 3 Number 52 Thursday, October 18, 2018

Editor Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer Amanda Push apush@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko 375-4553 Contributors Katie Burford Katie Cahill Christopher Gallagher Bryant Liggett Jon E. Lynch

Posh Josh

2

Advice

4

What the Fork

Ain’t nothin’ cooler than a local DJ workin’ hard for the people... and the music. It’s the purpose of “Connect,” the music series happening bimonthly at Animas City Theatre, with Posh Josh, aka Josh Rosenthal, at the helm.

5

Drink

6

Eat

8

Sound

Album Review

Lindsay Mattison Patty Templeton

Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising David Habrat

10 Drunk-fight the power

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

DGO Magazine is published

by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

It’s a fair question to ask at this point if our future is headed toward the plot of a Margaret Atwood or George Orwell novel. Or, maybe we’re already there and are just still in denial about it.

Reviews 16-17

Edibles 18

23 Single life

Past experiences with edibles include believing that the ground was moving at a Mumford and Sons concert and spewing garbled demon-garbage nonsense in a car full of people. How did this one turn out?

/dgomag /dgomag

@dgo_mag

ON THE COVER GWAR lead howler Blothar wails with the banshees while visiting the nearest Mars-scape.

Tell us what you think!

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know?

Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

Colossal Sanders for DGO, images via AP and GWAR

ed Snap eR

970-259-3417

DINNER FOR TWO

r pe

Accepting Reservations

just $65*

do

Chief Executive Officer

“Welcome to Billy Goat Saloon!” the lead singer of the band yelled across the room, with perfect timing for our arrival at the roadside biker bar.

23 Incredible edibles

Th

375-4570

Billy Goat gruff

22 Horoscope/ puzzles

Colossal Sanders

5

16 Weed

20 DGO Deals

Design/layout Reader Services

10 Drink

19 Happening

Courtesy of McCarson Leigh/ Red Scarf Shots

Robert Alan Wendeborn

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Downtown Lowdown 9

One Bottle of Wine, One Appetizer, Salad Bar, Two Entrees and One Dessert.

*Taxes & gratuities are not included.

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[eat]

What the Fork | Lindsay Mattison

Local brews: SolaVita Kombucha

W

referred to as “Immortal Health Elixir” has to be good for you, right?

hen I moved to the Pacific Northwest back in 2012, I had no idea what kombucha was. The only thing I knew about the fermented niche drink was that a super-smart girl in my dorm always had a jug of it brewing in her tie-dye decked out room. She also happened to have a killer glass bong named Buddha and would ramble on about the wonders of Eastern medicine when she got stoned. Apparently, the drink has been around for thousands of years and was used in ancient Chinese medicine. Anything

The first restaurant I visited in Bend, Oregon, had kombucha on tap.

I didn’t order one, of course; it was weird and unfamiliar. But the girl behind the counter insisted.

“It’s full of probiotics,” she claimed.

“And it tastes just like soda, just healthier!”

I acquiesced, mostly because I’m a sucker for peer pressure. I took my first sip under her watchful eye and exclaimed, “Huh!” She was right. This fizzy, sweet-and-tangy concoction DID taste like a better version of soda.

By the time I left four years later, kombucha was practically a cult classic. You could find these carbonated beverages in almost every bar, restaurant, and deli. Gas stations filled growlers of it and there were almost a dozen kombucha breweries in the

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farmers through Duranstate of Oregon. Business was booming, and I, for go Natural Foods Co-op. one, was thrilled.

While most kombucha is Then, I moved to Dufermented in stainless steel rango, and it was as if I vats, SolaVita uses recycled had stepped back in time. oak barrels instead, and the scoby loves it. They Kombucha was nowhere to picked up a few 50-gallon be found. Sure, I could have whiskey barrels, cut off made it myself. All you reRanzi the tops, and charred the ally need is sweetened tea insides to remove any a scoby (symbiotic coland remnants of alcohol. The ony of bacteria and yeast) brewed tea goes directly to ferment the mixture. But into the barrel, and they that required more time add the scoby and watch it and attention than I had, do its thing. Unlike brewso I sort of forgot about my favorite beverage until Soing in glass or stainless, the scoby actually latches onto laVita released their prodthe side of the wood, inteuct in July 2017. grating into the barrel and When the opportunity Bennett flourishing in the natural arose to buy some brewing equipment, Rachel Bennett environment. and Gabriella Ranzi decided to put That’s what’s so cool about komthemselves out there. Bennett had been bucha. It’s easy to make it local and brewing kombucha at home for seven organic, and it’s even easier to turn or eight years, and Ranzi loved the idea it into a super-sustainable business of starting a business that allowed her model. Bennet and Ranzi hand-bottle to share her love of health and welland label each and every brew. While it would be nice to have a conveyer ness. They were inspired by the movebelt, doing it the old fashioned way ment in the Pacific Northwest and felt allows them to pour their love and like outdoor-loving Durango would attention into every bottle. Eventually, totally embrace the healthy tonic. The they’re hoping for more tap accounts pair attribute their success to the way because kegged kombucha is as close the Durango community supports to a zero-waste product as you can get. local, along with their amazing friends So, the next time you’re at Zia at Sarvaa Superfoods, who offered Taqueria or the Soup Pallate, grab a them a production facility.

SolaVita kombucha (like local apricot In addition to being full of probibasil, ginger apple spice, or turmeric otics (the same digestion-improving tonic) instead of a soda. Pick up a stuff found in yogurt), kombucha is few bottles at Nature’s Oasis, or fill crazy high in B vitamins, which boost a growler at Durango Natural Foods the immune system and provide your Co-op. Better yet, start urging your body with bursts of energy. It’s also favorite local bar to carry this product antioxidant-rich and neutralizes free on tap. I would LOVE to drink more radicals, making it a powerful ally kombucha – it’s a great option when in the fight against cancer. And, as if it’s my turn to be the designated drivthose reasons weren’t enough, it aids the body’s natural detoxification proer, and I challenge any mixologist in cess, purifying the blood and cleansing town to not fall in love with kombucha the liver (which is definitely necessary as a cocktail mixer. for someone like me who drinks… meh, let’s just call it the right amount).

Lindsay D. Mattison is a professional chef It gets even better, though. SolaViand food writer living in Durango. She enjoys long walks in the woods, the simta is doing something completely plicity of New York-style cheese pizza, and in the kombucha-sphere.

Like unique she’s completely addicted to Chapstick. most kombucha companies, they’re Contact her at lindsaymattisonwriter@ sourcing all organic teas, sugar, and gmail.com. juices, and most of it comes from local

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[drink]

Drinking $1 PBRs and fruity cocktails at Billy Goat Saloon like classy ladies

By Amanda Push DGO STAFF WRITER

“Welcome to Billy Goat Saloon!” the lead singer of the band yelled across the room, with perfect timing for our arrival at the roadside biker bar.

An assortment of characters is gathered at Billy Goat, one of the last few roadhouses left in Colorado and, luckily for us, it’s located 16 miles east of Durango. Some of the evening’s attendees are intently focused on the band, Carny Bones, and rocking out to classics by the likes of Johnny Cash and ZZ Top. Others are playing pool on the opposite side of the The Billy bar, or are bent over in Goat Saloon conversation, trying, and The Billy Goat Saloon mostly failing, to drown is located at 39848 out the music.

US-160 in Bayfield.

We snag a spot near the You can reach them fireplace and are greeted at 970-884-9155 or by a sign that says, “Welthebillygoatsaloon. come to our watering com. hole, where old drinking buddies unwind.” It’s appropriate signage considering that the Billy Goat has served the hydration needs of travelers along Highway 160 since 1982.

We had planned a trip to Billy Goat based on the allure of $1 PBRs – always a safe bet on a journalist salary – but we pull an instant U-turn after the Summertime Porch Pounder menu catches our eyes. With names like Cocktease, Island Cosmo, and Orange Creamcicle, we find it amusing to try and convince our male companion to order the more obnoxiously titled cocktails. Alas, the only one we fail to get him on board for is, perhaps unsurprisingly, the Cocktease. We settle for Rosë All Day and Rum Sunset instead, which still garners about the same amount of enthusiasm from our male companion as the Cocktease would have.

“I guess I’ll be turning my man card in,” he mutters as we head toward the bar, located at Cold Hearted Bitch Drive, according to a sign that hangs over the bustling counter.

We instantly feel at home as we sip our drinks amongst the crowd of cowboys and hippies. There are no outsiders here, including us. It doesn’t take

Amanda Push/DGO

»» Rosë All Day, a mix of rosë vodka and La Croix, kicked off the evening. And just try not drooling over this pizza. long for crowd members, whether they’re donning a cowboy hat or flowing, floral cardigan, to start nodding their heads to the beat. They fly out onto the dance floor or yell along with the lyrics from their seats once the band started to thrum Poison’s “Talk Dirty to Me.” During a rare pause in playing, the Carny Bones lead singer teases the crowd. “The more you drink the better people sound, and the more you smoke the more stoned you get,” he says, eliciting a steady stream of laughs.

His quirky wisdom is an instant crowd pleaser, and is met with attah boys, cheers, and whistles.

The decor of Billy Goat is reflective of the diverse personality of the congregation. Behind us is a sign that reads, “Welcome to Baytuckey,” while above is a kayak lodged in the ceiling. Next to the band hangs a piñata from a fiesta long ago, we imagine. Party lights flash different strips of color across the dance floor, giving one small section of the bar a club feel, while the rest of us down our beer and pizza, thankful, at least for tonight, for the feeling that we belong.

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[eat/drink]

A quest for the best pumpkin spice foods

»» We tried to find you

the best pumpkin-spicy treats, but please do not eat any of these items

The time for fall-flavored food and drinks is here. Some maple cinnamon here. Some salted caramel there. But most importantly, pumpkin spice everywhere. Twinkies. Kombucha. Cereal. Tea. Marshmallows. There are loads of otherwise perfectly delicious beverages and snacks that have been doused with this controversial flavoring, which made us curious, and also feel like it was important to taste test these pumpkin-y treats to get in the spirit of fall. Oh, how wrong we were.

It turns out the staff at DGO are not big fans of pumpkin spice, so we ate and drank a bunch of pumpkin-spiced crap for this story, which turned us “not fans” into sheer haters of everything pumpkin spicy. We hope you enjoy our torture, or at least learn what to eat and what to steer away from if you actually like this junk, because now our office is going to smell like pumpkin spice for all eternity. Here’s what we went through.

Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte Amanda: I was really thrown off by the spice on the first sip. I mostly stick to coffee drinks that are pretty bitter or have a good balance of bitter and sweet, so when I tried this, the instantaneous spice taste weirded me out. It got less sharp the more I drank it, but I’m not sure I like spice-flavoring the beverage I rely on to get through literally everything in my life.

It was also very sugary, which I don’t enjoy, so I don’t think I could drink a lot of it. I guess the best thing I can equate it to is eggnog. I would never seek it out on my own but if someone offered it to me and I felt like I needed to be polite I could choke it down.

Angelica: Amanda, don’t you ever compare delicious eggnog to this junk. This junk was JUNK, and eggnog is holiday nectar of the gods. Anywho, this was a big nope for me. I poured a glass

one morning after I realized no one had refilled the water purifier in the fridge, and in my thirsty haste, made the mistake of taking a HUGE mouthful. I nearly died and went to pumpkin spice hell. Why would you drink this? Especially cold? Keep it away from me, forever and ever amen.

Grands! Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Rolls Amanda: Out of all the items we taste tested, I was most apprehensive about this one but surprisingly, it was not the strongest of all the items we tasted in terms of pumpkin spice flavor DGOlevels. In my opinion, anyway. However, I would just rather have had a regular old cinnamon roll. Why you gotta

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mess with what’s already perfect? I want neither pumpkin nor spice, other than cinnamon, on my holy, frosted breakfast rolls. I’d say the butter we drowned these in made everything infinitely better.

Angelica: Okay, so these weren’t awful-awful. I like cinnamon rolls, and (don’t tell Amanda) I quietly lifehacked them by dousing the entire pan of cinnamon rolls in butter after removing them from the oven, and THEN I put the gross pumpkin spice frosting on them. They were not supposed to taste like butter with a hint of pumpkin spice, but they did.

The butter masked the grossness, and ultimately, these were fine. I don’t know why you have to ruin good cinnamon rolls with the aftertaste of pumpkin spice, but on a scale of 1-5, these were a solid 3.

Edible.

Halo Top Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream Amanda: Ice cream is pretty damn hard to screw up, so I can’t say that I hated this. However, given the option of purchasing mint moose tracks with chocolate chunks (which I did right after) I wouldn’t pick this flavor again.

Somehow, it seemed sweeter than regular ice cream so, again, I couldn’t bring myself to eat much of it. As the name implies, it had a bit of a bite to it in the first taste, which I was not a fan of. I don’t want spice in my ice cream, please and thank you. Only chocolate chunks, peanut butter, and waffle cone chunks.

The more bites I took, the less jolting the favor was, but I still feel strongly that ice cream shouldn’t have spice.

Fight me.

Angelica: I will not try this. Not in a box, not with a fox, not with a Becky here or there, not with a Becky anywhere. It looks HORRIBLE. The taste I have no opinion on, as I will not try this, Sam I Am.

Noosa Pumpkin yogurt Amanda: OK, so this technically wasn’t pumpkin SPICE but it was still pumpkin flavored and it was still gross.

It took us both a long time to gather the courage to try this one and we probably

shouldn’t have tried it in the morning when our gag reflexes seem to be at their strongest. This goop looked GNARLY. I had the dirty job of mixing the yogurt in with the pumpkin flavor crap, which was somehow worse than eating it. The initial flavor was rather mellow, but you could still tell that the pumpkin spice was there.

Unfortunately, not unlike a Sunday morning hangover where you think you’re in the clear when you first wake up, this shit only got worse with the aftertaste: a slow burn. Watching Angelica’s face as she taste tested this made my life though, so I’d say I came out even. Her reaction: “This has to be a joke. I can’t believe how many people taste tested this before it got to the shelves!”

Angelica: This was a trap. A flat out trap. I LOVE Noosa. Especially honey Noosa. I did not love this. I did not even like this. I took the TINIEST of bites, and at first, it was like, not hateful? But then it hit me. The flavor. It was like licking a cheap pumpkin candle. And it just grew and grew on my taste buds until I cried fake tears. Why is this trash so spicy and so...horrible?! Please do not eat it. In fact: THROW IT IN THE TRASH IF YOU SEE IT.

Philadelphia Pumpkin Spice Cream Cheese on a pumpkin spice bagel Amanda: This one was, shall we say, a little much. I have no one to blame but myself, however, since I was the one who insisted that since we had pumpkin spice cream cheese we obviously needed to put it on pumpkin spice bagels. Upon opening the cream cheese packet, I was somehow more disgusted than I was with the yogurt-stirring. It was ORANGE, you guys. I realize that I’m eating pumpkin-flavored things but cream cheese should NEVER be orange. Ugh. This combo was much too sweet and, I will defend all things dairy until the day I die, but somehow the cream cheese made me more nauseous than dairy usually does.

Angelica: This tasted like a stale donut dipped in too much pumpkin spice frosting. Why anyone would eat this, I do not know. I like bagels. But, I do not like pumpkin spice bagels, I have learned from this. I would rather eat this disgusting pumpkin spice cream cheese on an everything bagel than a pumpkin spice bagel, no lie. I’d eat it on an onion bagel before I’d put another piece of a pumpkin spice bagel in my mouth. These have got to be a joke. A crappy, mean-spirited joke.

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[sound]

[Odd Rot, by Patty Templeton]

What’s new I Want Candy Patty Templeton is reading Christa Carmen’s horror collection, “Something Borrowed Something Blood-Soaked,” for Halloween. Chat her up on creepy reads on Twitter via @PattyTempleton or at instagram.com/pattytempleton

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This coming Saturday marks the 20-year anniversary of the release of an era-defining album. Chicago-based Drag City Records, one of the preeminent purveyors of independent music, is re-releasing the album in honor of that benchmark. It is important to note that this is a re-release and not a remastered reissue. There are no extras, no demo versions or live cuts of era-appropriate tracks, no re-sequencing, re-working, or re-imagining.

As Rian Murphy, sales and promotions manager for Drag City, so eloquently stated, “It would be an injustice to the record to alter it in any way, other than to improve fidelity. To do so would be invasive to the artists’ intent. At the very most, we’d like to blow a little color into the memory of the record.”

A dear friend of mine was the first to introduce me to the Silver Jews and David Berman’s unique brand of lyrically driven, baritone-delivered indie rock.

Normally I would call this a perfect example of right place, right time, but what separates this record from others is just how resolutely this album has withstood the test of time.

Arguably the mark of a truly brilliant record, “American Water” is as fresh, vibrant, exciting, compelling, and riveting today as it was upon first listen two decades ago. Berman’s prowess to turn a phrase, his command of the English language, and the overall sonic composition, truly envelops the listener in a manner on par with that of the all-time greatest songwriters, regardless of genre.

It is a common occurrence to refer to the Silver Jews as a Pavement side

project, but that isn’t so. It is true that the band was first conceived at the University of Virginia with Pavement front man Steven Malkmus and percussionist Bob Nastanovich, but it is Berman’s guitar playing, lyrical composition, and song structure that sets the band (and specifically this album) apart as its own entity.

When viewed as an entire piece, or on an individual track-by-track basis, “American Water” is an all-time record.

It is one of a few desert island albums, and as another friend accurately conveyed, “It’s one of the records you grab as the house is burning down around you.”

“American Water” is available Friday, October 19, via Drag City as a digital download (your choice of high quality MP3 or FLAC), on compact disc, on cassette tape, and on vinyl.

And per the label, “the vinyl has been half-speed mastered at Abbey Road to provide increased depth and nuance for all future LP listeners. The CD will continue to represent the perfection of the original 1998 master. And the cassette makes its debut, to provide an alternative aural timestamp for intrepid audio voyagers who weren’t there the first time around!”

Recommended for preexisting fans of the inimitable David Berman and his Silver Jews, in addition to Stephen Malkmus & Pavement, Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers, Bill Callahan & Smog, Calvin Johnson & Beat Happening, Guided by Voices, Sebadoh and the classic indie and college rock canon.

—— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

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[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Posh Josh is bringing electronic music to the people

E

lectronic music DJ Posh Josh is trying to better himself through his music. And, while he’s bettering himself, he’s hoping to motivate listeners to better themselves, too.

It’s the purpose of “Connect,” the music series happening bimonthly at Animas City Theatre, with Posh Josh, aka Josh Rosenthal, at the helm, along with other local DJs, who will round out the lineup.

“When I play music, I connect with myself better, and when I connect with myself better, I can be the best Josh that I can be. I can be best service to my community, to myself and to my friends,” said Rosenthal. “It’s the elated feeling you get when you have that moment. ... I hit those moments, and I get that moment of elation, and all that’s going on, all the problems of the world, everything melts. What I love most is when I see that person that has that blissed-out look on their face. They’re looking within and connecting with themselves.”

As a kid in the ’80s, Josh was ingesting the new-wave, punk, and hip hop music of New York City. He also had jazz-playing parents who ultimately had a profound effect on him, as much as what was playing on the turntable, which could have been anything from Howard Jones to The-The. “Having a mother and her husband that were jazz musicians turned me onto another thing. I wanted to watch Saturday Night Live, and they were inviting musicians over to jam with them,” said Rosenthal. “I’d be like ‘Hey, you guys, can we close the doors? SNL is on.’ And they said, ‘No, you’re going to love this.’ I said ‘No, this sounds like a bunch of weirdos playing funky music.’ And that’s exactly what it was. Now I have a love for jazz and the influences. I had this influence of pop sounds with the influence of my parents, and then hearing rap. When you come to one of my shows, you’re going to hear a little of everything.”

Rosenthal’s love of electronic music flourished in southwest Colorado.

He was around when the old Abbey

scene is that it’s overtly positive and loaded with open-minded people.

“If I can create the event, or be the vehicle, or create an opportunity for more people to feel themselves more, then I’m winning,” said Rosenthal.

“That’s the vibe I want to bring across through the music and through the event. I didn’t want it to be a meat market, I want this to be a place to meet some great people. It’s not an event that’s about getting totally hammered so you’re numb to your feelings. It’s an event to be conscious and be present.”

The next “Connect” will be Saturday at Animas City Theatre.

Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

NOW OPEN at their NEW LOCATION 742 Main Ave. Downtown Durango

New Fall Arrivals for the free spirits of Durango

Grand Opening Party

»» Posh Josh, aka Josh Rosenthal

GO! Saturday: “Connect” with Posh Josh and friends, 9 p.m., $12, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive.

Information: 799-2281.

Theatre hosted the electronic music events known as “Down,” and was influenced by the sounds of Thievery Corporation and Mark Farina. And, despite his first DJ efforts sounding like “shoes in the dryer,” he stuck with the art form, and has attempted to remain as true to it as possible.

These days, Josh’s sound is

funk-laden house music with regional performances and sets at festivals like Burning Man. What he’s trying to do is make a communal space where people can let their hair down with like-minded peers who are interested in building community through a music scene.

For a lot of people, the genres under the electronic music umbrella mean nothing. Deep house, techno, acid house, and so on can be confusing for someone not immersed in the art form. But that doesn’t matter.

One thing about the electronic music

sponsored by Local First

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live music, fashion show, food and libations!

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[drink]

Booze to help fight the power for the inner rebel in you »» From White Russians

It’s a fair question to ask at this point if our future is headed toward the plot of a Margaret or George Orwell novel. Or, maybe we’re already there and are just still in denial to alternative facts, er, Atwood about it. Gah, let’s not think about it too much. From your smart devices listening to your condrinks, these boozy versations to constant subliminal messaging, it’s a wonder we all haven’t run screaming into hacks will help you the woods to live a full-bearded life (men and women) with no electronics while far, far away damn The Man from the reach of the government.

Unfortunately, in these dystopian future scenarios of our nightmares, alcohol seems to be the key to finding yourself chained up in a dark room praying the sin away until The New World Order guards decide your soul has been cleansed as good as it’s gonna get, and then take you to a hard labor camp where you’ll live out the rest of your short life. So, take advantage of the bottles holed up in your cupboard or maybe even in your hand right now before it’s too late, and follow this drinking guide of saying “f u” to the establishment like a good, cynical adult. Bottoms up!

Cocktails inspired by Trump’s combover Not all of the decisions Donald Trump makes are terrible. No matter your side of the political party tape, you can’t disagree that whatever dead animal is on his head is one helluva combover. Sorry, can’t say that with a straight face. A compliment and the word “combover” don’t belong in the same sentence and, frankly, neither does Trump.

Thank Zuul the Internet is rife with drink recipes in honor of his hairdo – a favorite being a cocktail with a flaming orange over green-colored liquor. So show some damn respect and salute our fearless leader with a glass full of the most bougie liquor in the most expensive, fancy dollar store glass you can find. He is a Trump, after all!

Drinks to remind you that global warming is going to kill us anyway You can pull your hair out as much as you like about all the terrible things going on in the world, but no matter your race, gender, socioeconomic status, political party, or opinion on pumpkin spice, Mother Nature is comin’ for us all via giant, people-eat-

ing plants engineered by nature to set the balance right again. So find some delicious, blue liquor, shove a bunch of green leaves in it, and set it on fire to hammer the point home.

Thirst quenchers for when the misogyny gets too real Remember how our current president was recorded bragging about sexually assaulting women? Remember when a former president got caught having a relationship with a White House aide and she became a social pariah? Remember how we now have two supreme court justices who have been accused by multiple women of sexual misconduct as well as rape? SIGH... we don’t want to remember either, so just

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DURANGO’S LARGEST PREMIUM CANNABIS DISPENSARY chug something strong for this one, preferably Everclear.

A beer, because you’re being watched, always See that camera at the top of your phone/tablet/laptop/desktop? Smile and wave, cuz you’re being watched by The Man. We’ve all already signed our souls away to the corporations that run this country, or the world really, so you might as well just sit back and sip a cold one. Perhaps a Canadian beer, since you’re thinking about moving there anyway.

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Nowadays, thanks to our favorite counselor to the president, lies aren’t lies anymore. Nerp. They’re what we, well not WE, but Kellyanne Conway, like to call alternative facts. In honor of that, hand someone dear to you a virgin version of their favorite mixed drink. Perhaps a Bloody Mary or mojito. When they inevitably get upset at the deception, just explain that it’s an alternative alcohol and not to think about it too much. Just keep sippin’ that proverbial Kool-Aid.

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Booze for all the book deals former White House employees are getting James Comey. Sean Spicer. Anthony Scaramucci.

Omarosa Manigault Newman.

H.R. McMaster. It appears these days all it takes to get a book deal is to make some poor/ethically cringey career decisions. Or just have a shitty boss. Don’t get fancy on this one. Just stab the side of a can and shotgun the shit out of those leaks.

Libations for the lies Remember how the government told us we were DEFINITELY winning in Vietnam? The invasion of Iraq? The National Security Agency that TOTALLY doesn’t spy on millions of Americans? Shake some vodka and heavy cream together for a White Russian, cuz there definitely ain’t no shady shit going on over there. Sprinkle some bitters in there, too. This one should be hard to swallow.

— Amanda Push ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 18, 2018 | 11

An interview with Blothar of GWAR »» GWAR

talks politics and Wanda Jackson

Patty Templeton | SPECIAL TO DGO

Your life, like many American lives, may feel uncertain. Nah, let’s be blunt. Your life sucks, or at least, it feels like it does.

You can’t quite pay for both toilet paper and the whiskey. GD white supremacists are on the rise, persons repeatedly accused of sexual assault are being appointed to political power, there’s no such thing as a work raise, and – the effing president can now not just tweet, but text you.

Ain’t that some bullshit.

Which is why you need to see GWAR. Sure, you’ll probably get soaked in spunk, blood, and Eris only knows what other effluvia, but the intergalactic mutant Scumdogs will lead you into oblivion through heavy metal, rather than whatever walk of never-gonna-get-there the American Dream has become.

Don’t know GWAR? A brief primer: Millennia ago, grotesque aliens conquered Earth. They built shit, ruined it, rebuilt civilization, and banged some apes, thus creating humanity. Betwixt that hideous mix, they rocked the fahk out. You may or may not have time to spin their newest album, “The Blood of Gods,” before they annihilate Earth (again).

DGO put our lives in the interplanetary hooves of lead singer The Berserker Blothar to chat on politics, Nazis, and how swiftly GWAR would eradicate humanity if they took the Oval Office instead of toured.

If American politics were a crap, what kinda crap would it be?

It’s definitely a sweaty, humid, dripping, fart-in-an-outhouse, yellowjackets-stinging-your-nuts kinda crap.

What’s GWAR’s stance on punching Nazis?

On punching Nazis? We love punching Nazis! I have a punching-Nazi in my playroom. It bounces up and down. I think punching Nazis is fine. I think eviscerating Nazis is

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fine – if the Nazi is actually a Nazi.

What other tactics do Scumdogs have in dealing with racist, homophobic humans?

Well, I mean, GWAR’s always been an underdog. We are on the side of the underdog.

Generally, we bring people on stage who have offended us deeply, or who have not offended us, even Continued on Page 14

Rob Grabowski/Associated Press

»» Blothar of GWAR performs at the 2016 Riot Fest & Carnival in Chicago.

GO! GWAR The Gore, Core, Metal and More Tour with Hatebreed, Miss May I, and Ringworm

Central Ave., Albuquerque, NM

Where: Sunshine Theater, 120

Cost: $25

When: 8 p.m., Saturday, Oct. 20 Ages: 13+

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[sound] From Page 13

people we love dearly. We bring them on stage, and we decapitate them. Sometimes we stomp their stomachs open and pull out all of the entrails. Sometimes maybe we play keep away with their severed head.

That’s generally how we deal with things.

We work through it.

Is it appropriate to publicly eat the entrails of a fascist to discourage future dictators?

[Chuckles] I think it is appropriate.

We have had Trump come [on stage]. He’s one tough son of a bitch, I’ll tell you that. We’ve probably killed him 125 times now. Sliced open his stomach, ripped out the entrails, ripped his face off, smacked him around a bit, and there he shows up at the next gig. It’s amazing.

I’m afraid he won’t die. I’m afraid he’s not gonna go away even when he’s gone. That’s what I’m worried about.

As an interplanetary warrior, i.e. illegal alien, how do you feel about Trump’s immigration policies?

I mean, I don’t think Donald Trump gives a shit about illegal immigrants coming into the country. I don’t believe that for a second. I think it’s all about having something to say that backs people into fear. I think it’s the idea of trying to hold on to power.

GWAR, we kill everybody. We don’t care who it is.

As far as us being illegal aliens and Trump’s immigration policies, every night we bring Trump on stage, we confront him, I tell him I think he’s a racist. I tell him I think that he’s an idiot. He tries to convince us otherwise. We have a fight. He gets killed.

If it was the GWAR administration, would Flint, MI have clean water?

If GWAR were in the presidency right now, Flint, Michigan wouldn’t exist, I’m afraid. I don’t think anything would exist if GWAR were president.

We can talk shit, but there’s no way I would want that job, I can tell you that. We have a song about it, “El Presidente.” We talk about what GWAR might do.

I think we’d probably be a lot like Trump – extremely bored because we’d rather be snorting cocaine off a prostitute’s tits. We’d rather be flying around in our bat-shaped helicopter playing golf with Red Buttons.

So President Blothar wouldn’t provide free public college or a living wage either?

We’d probably just blow everything up. That’s what GWAR is. That’s what GWAR does. It’s who we are.

If you could have a closed door meeting with President Trump, what would be discussed?

If I had a closed door meeting with Donald Trump, I’m gonna get a blowjob, I can tell you that. That’s pretty much the end of the story. That’s what is discussed.

I’d whip out Clinton’s cigar. I’d make [Trump] take a

Rob Grabowski/Associated Press

»» Beefcake The Mighty of GWAR performs at the 2016 Riot Fest & Carnival in Chicago.

crap on a glass table. You think he likes getting pissed on? We’ll see how he likes getting pissed on when it’s me who’s doing the pissing.

Would space milk be involved?

Yes, from my wiener-udders. My wiener-nips. Yes. Have you had any trouble being accidentally hunted as big game?

I’ve been lucky. Things have been going OK. I don’t go outside much anymore because I’ve learned my lesson. Basically, if I go for a walk, some redneck somewhere’s going to try and mount the ultimate trophy. Really, I just stay in and dig tunnels everywhere.

Any favorite tunnels?

I like the tunnel that leads to the store where I can buy pornography and whippets. I like the tunnel that is the Tunnel of Fudge. And, I like the Tunnel of Love.

Because I’m a romantic.

You a Wanda Jackson fella? Would Ms. Jackson survive a GWAR-pocalypse?

Probably, yes she would. I would cradle her and take care of her lovingly. It’s a simple matter of who gets what, when, and how. Wanda Jackson would probably get, for at least a little while, some love and affection.

GWAR’s had a fair amount of success – lived for millions of years, dominated universes. How do you measure your success? And, did you get there by pulling up your own bootstraps?

Pretty much by PSI. How far can it shoot? That’s how we measure our success.

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Rob Grabowski/Associated Press

»» Balsac the Jaws of Death (left) and Pustulus Maximus of GWAR perform at the 2016 Riot Fest & Carnival in Chicago.

America has this mythology that people like to believe – and maybe it’s true – maybe this place was a place where you could work and see value for your work, at one time – but it’s not that way now. The bootstrap ideology is exactly that. An ideology. A way that they managed to convince people not to turn their faces toward government and say, ‘What the fuck are you doing? Why are you letting this happen?’

GWAR has to give it up to the cabal of elites – those in charge of things in this country. They’ve done a very good job, over the years, of convincing Americans that any suffering they have is their own fault.

It’s laziness. It’s character flaws. That’s unfortunately the other side of the American Dream. The other side of the American Dream is that if it doesn’t happen to you, it’s your fault. Even if what happens to you is that you’re bankrupted by a medical crisis. Even if what happens to you is you take out student loans and find yourself unable to buy a house or pay into your retirement.

GWAR watches these things happen. GWAR wants to restructure the American Dream. We want everyone to – Have PornHub and Cheetos?

Porn kills love. I’m here to tell you that. I don’t have any love anymore thanks to porn. People just use me.

I’m a fetish object.

Your Space Moose ween-nips are a specialized anatomical force in the universe.

I’m kind of the ultimate bear, really, what it comes down to. Bagging Blothar is a big trophy.

If you were the trophy teacher of a university, what class would you teach?

Animal husbandry, to be honest.

I’ve always really loved that word and don’t even know what it means, but being a husband to animals sounds like a great thing.

But Blothar is a mother. I have had several litters, I suppose you’d call them.

Are you finally claiming a certain bandmate as a son?!

Beefcake the Mighty? No. He’s not my kid. Not at all.

Doesn’t make any sense in the timeline. I’ve thought about it a lot. I know he wants me to acknowledge him, but I’ll die first. Imagine the child support.

Does GWAR believe that any news that talks shit about them is fake news?

No. If people talk shit about us, it’s probably true.

Is there any last political GWAR stance you’d like to ejaculate?

GWAR doesn’t really have a political stance. We’re political in the sense that all things are political, but GWAR is chaotic neutral. We do what the fuck we want to do. We hope that the world doesn’t grow into a sourpuss, grim, no laughter world. Stopping laughing at yourself is stopping laughing at GWAR because that’s what GWAR is. It’s human folly incarnate.

GWAR dramatizes power imbalances. It shows power doing what power does – which is abuse. I would hope that people always understand that GWAR is exactly what I said when I started speaking – on the side of the underdog.

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 18, 2018 | 15

[weed]

Doobiebird Daydream is my new weed boo You guys...I think I’ve found my Pagosa Therapeutics sweet spot. You know how EVERY ONE of their strains has sent me to another dimension? Well.

I’ve finally found one that sends me to Mars and not to the Mirror Universe.

(It took me a long time to think of that.

Don’t roll your eyes.) It’s a hybrid strain called Doobiebird Daydream, and it is freaking killer.

But, you know...not killer in the murder-y way the other strains have been. While I have greatly enjoyed being knocked on my ass by things like Bootlegger and Poison Punch, Doobiebird Daydream was killer in a very manageable way. No nonsense words came out of my mouth with this one.

Always a good thing.

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I lit up a bowl of Doobiebird by my lonesome on a Monday night and fully expected to be down for the count afterward. The strain, which has the COOLEST lime-green buds, is a Blue Dream/Sanjay Gupta Kush hybrid, and it seemed to follow all of the rules of Pagosa’s knockout strains. It was a little harsh on the inhale, very fragrant – like a mix of gasoline, pine needles, and a wayward skunk – and I felt the effects kick in almost immediately.

I started off with a head high, where I felt myself falling into the deep recesses of my brain and everything that came to mind was brilliant and had never been thought of before. It was one of those highs – at least initially – where I felt it necessary to write down everything I thought of, but looking at the list of brainy ideas today, they were all mediocre ideas at best. I’ll spare you the details.

It didn’t stay contained to a head high, though. That was just my initial impression. Shortly after my brilliant brain side emerged, I began to feel the very obvious effects of an all-over body high, which felt like little electrical surges pulsing through my appendages.

Sounds gnarly, but wasn’t. It was just noticeable, not uncomfortable. Then things dipped into that weird zone, the one where you think you can feel all of your bodily functions, like the pulsing of your blood through your veins, or the swoosh of thoughts as they fly into your brain.

I felt happy, high, and smart, which is a pretty great combo. And things stayed pretty manageable from there. I did at one point sit on the couch with a

Details Where to find Doobiebird Daydream: Pagosa Therapeutics, 235 Bastille Drive, Pagosa Springs. Find them at 970-731-4420 or pagosatherapeutics.com Price: $20 a gram (and worth every penny) freaking pan of Rice Krispies treats in my lap, and felt it necessary to make a note that said, “When you have so much work to do, but you just suit (sic; I meant sit, I think) on the couch and eat delicious junk food instead.”

But that was pretty much the only downside. And eating junk while stoned is only a downside when your jeans suddenly won’t fit, which hasn’t happened YET, so we’ll just put that in the neutral category for now.

Between the body high and the copious amounts of sugar I’d consumed, I fully expected to crash into the cushions of the couch at any point, but oddly enough, I didn’t. I just rode out the high, mood elevated and headache gone, until I made the conscious decision to take my ass to bed.

That’s right. I MADE the decision.

Doobiebird gave me my stoner autonomy back. Somebody alert the presses.

I really liked this strain, and while I haven’t tested it yet, I think it would be a pretty badass choice for daytime toking. You won’t crash out, you can function, and it’ll make Rice Krispies treats taste EVEN better than they did while sober. Those are my favorite things, which means whether it wants to be in a relationship or not, Doobiebird Daydream is my new boo.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

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[weed]

Kief joints aren’t for pansies As you may have gathered from the headline, this week we are reviewing a little thing called kief joints from our friends at Prohibition Herb. As you may have ALSO gathered, kief joints are not for pansies. How do we know this? We smoked one. They’re really effing strong. Found out the hard way.

But before we get into that, let’s get the informative part out of the way. If you’re unfamiliar with kief, here’s what it is, according to Wikipedia, the most credible source on Earth: “Kief, meaning ‘pleasure, intoxication,’ refers to the resinous trichomes of cannabis that may accumulate in containers or be sifted from loose, dry cannabis flower with a mesh screen or sieve. Kief contains a much higher concentration of psychoactive cannabinoids, such as THC, than that of the cannabis flowers from which it is derived.”

In other words, kief is the pollen-looking residue that collects in the bottom of your grinder. You can smoke it or sprinkle it on your weed, and it makes things really fun, cause it has a boatload of THC and other cannabinoids.

I took the advice of the smarty pants from inventory and went for a joint rolled with Jolene OG, a strain I reviewed several months ago and really liked. Well, friends. Between the bud and the 30 percent kief layered in, this was not Jolene OG like I remembered it. This is Jolene OG on copious amounts of Red Bull. This is your friend Jolene after she drinks 17 cheap beers and decides White Snake karaoke is a good idea, and you end up having to drag her off stage because she started scream-singing into the mic.

I smoked the kief joint with a friend on a Friday night after we’d had about three beers each. We had slightly lowered inhibitions, which led to us going in hard and smoking the entire joint between the two of us. I have no idea why we’re so stupid.

I knew halfway through that I should stop, but I didn’t. I could feel my head ballooning up and my body getting high-as-hell numb, but I just kept smoking, and getting higher...and higher...and higher. Part of the problem is that this strain tastes really great, so it wasn’t a challenge to get through the whole

Introducing

Rocky Road With KATIE BURFORD ?

Details Where to find yourself a deadly kief joint: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino Del Rio, 970385-8622, prohibitionherb.com Price: $14 Caveats: Prohibition didn’t bribe us for a good review, nor did they suggest we smoke the entire joint. That, like our opinions, was all us.

Ice Cream shop owner, Katie Burford is answering your life questions.

Have one? Email rockyroad@dgomag.com

thing. Let’s blame it on that.

We passed the joint back and forth for what felt like an eternity, and once we’d finally conquered it, I couldn’t move my mouth. I just silently stumbled inside, my head spinning and body uncooperative, and dished out a huge bowl of ice cream. Then I passed out face down on my bed without eating any of it, but NOT before I texted my friend, who was sitting on the couch alone and high, the words: “Too high. Cannot do it. Better off dead.” I woke up confused as hell a few hours later and had to deal with the mess from my melted ice cream.

I don’t know why I didn’t pace myself.

Maybe I had something to prove. Maybe I thought it would be funny. MAYBE I shouldn’t drink ANY beers before doing these reviews so I don’t think I’m big balls and can smoke that much. Who knows.

Would I smoke this kief joint biz again? Uh, yeah I would. It tasted delicious and got me very high. It would be a great way to get a lot of people stoned for $14. Would I smoke the ENTIRE thing again between two people?

Hell no. I don’t have a death wish, and I prefer my ice cream in solid form.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 18, 2018 | 17

[weed]

Locally Owned. Locally Grown.

POP-UP:

incredibles made me feel hella drunk I’ll be upfront with y’all: I do not enjoy edibles. Most of my past experiences with these pot-packed snacks include me believing that the ground was moving under me at a Mumford and Sons concert, spewing garbled nonsense in a car full of people like I was possessed by a demon, and feeling so heavy that I couldn’t move from my armchair for hours – even when my roommate hauled heavy boxes from her car into the apartment.

Thursday 10/18 from 3-5 p.m. at Bodo location

Though I realize most people don’t feel as I do about these guys, and edibles are a pretty popular means to get the job done, it is for these reasons that I very reluctantly agreed to not only ingest a weed-filled chocolate bar, but also write about it.

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On this week’s menu was infused chocolate from incredibles, an edibles company out of Denver. I went for the gluten-free Vanilla Affogato bar, with a hearty mix of white chocolate, espresso beans, caramel swirls, and 200 mg of THC (which is NOT the serving size).

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I went ahead and made myself comfortable on the couch. Across the couch was my friend, already on her own mindless journey after smoking a bowl. Our favorite trash TV show – Teen Mom – set the mood perfectly.

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After about an hour, however, I turned to my friend. “This isn’t working.

I don’t feel anything.”

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Because I am a baby when it comes to edibles (on top of being a lightweight), I broke off a small section of the bar, took a deep breath, and took a bite. Pot-infused foods will always taste a little off to me, but the chocolate was about as delicious as I had hoped it’d be. It had a bit of a grainy texture, which I thought was nicely balanced out by the crunchy espresso beans. Who am I kidding? I’m never going to diss a piece of chocolate filled with espresso.

She frowned and asked if I’d taken enough, but I shook my head. This wasn’t my first rodeo by any means when it came to these little bastards – you take a little chunk, get frustrated when it hasn’t kicked in when you think it should be kicking in, and so you take more – and before you know it you can’t get off the floor because

the seams of galaxy have just ripped open in your living room and if you get up you’ll be sucked into oblivion. No, ma’am!

I decided to take this shit show to my room where, when I inevitably felt the effects, I could be miserably stoneddrunk without completely making a fool of myself. This turned out to be an excellent idea, because as I was laying on the floor like an adult drifting off as I listened to a podcast, it hit me – that drunk, head-spinning feeling where my noggin feels like it weighs as much as a giant dumbbell full of liquid sloshing around my brain. This is the feeling I loathe.

I instantly found myself struggling to understand what anyone on the podcast was talking about, but believe me, it wasn’t rocket science. I kept scrolling back through the conversations until I gave up trying to understand the quote they said that I liked so much. Eventually, as it always does, sleep found me, and I crashed into it like a bike to a brick wall.

In short, edible candy bars ain’t my jam, but they could be yours. Maybe you like that dizzyingly plastered feeling right before you hit the hay and, let me tell you, it doesn’t matter that this has espresso in it. This stuff will knock you right out when you’re ready to clock out for the night.

—— Sir Blaze Ridcully

18 | Thursday, October 18, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening] DGO picks in and around Durango

Thursday

Red Alert

Center - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-566-3464.

Rock out to tunes like “Drops of Jupiter” and “House of the Rising Sun,” along with original music by Carbon Red in Pagosa Springs. This local band doesn’t have any set particular style and is willing to jam out to whatever mood the crowd is feeling, whether it be country or rock.

Joined by Mike Sauce, these two groups are going to light up Coyote Moon Bar & Grill in a performance you’ll be sorry you missed...so don’t be sorry. Just go instead.

Details: Oct. 19, Carbon Red, 9 p.m., free, Coyote Moon Bar & Grill, 120 Piedra Road, Pagosa Springs, carbonredband.com

High as a balloon Get high as a balloon this weekend, err, watch them get high IN THE AIR. At the Animas Valley Balloon Rally, you’ll be able to get up close and personal to some beautiful hot air balloons. To start things up, you’ll get to watch a balloon glow in downtown Durango. Then, later in the weekend, the public is welcome to watch two mass ascensions.

Details: Oct. 19-21, Animas Valley Balloon Rally, 8:15 a.m., free, Durango Train Depot on Oct. 19, 479 Main Ave., field on Hermosa Meadows Road and Hwy 550 N on Oct. 20-21, animasvalleyballoonrally.com

iAM MUSIC, youARE MUSIC Kick off fall with a concert put on by iAM MUSIC, which will include the J-Calvin album release, Let Them Roar, StillHouse Junkies, Secret Circus Society, Kristine White, and Bad Goat Disco. iAM MUSIC student performers will open for the event. Aside from some badass music, attendees can enjoy local food, beer specials, and a giveaway.

Details: Oct. 20, iAM MUSIC Fest, 5 p.m., $15, 11th Street Station, 1101 Main Ave., iammusic.us

Beyond Words Art Exhibit, 10 a.m., Henderson Fine Arts

Luminaries Toastmasters,

noon, La Plata County Building, 1101 E. Third Ave. Anasazi Heritage Center Curation Tours, 2 p.m., Anasazi

Heritage Center, 27501 Colorado Hwy 184, 970-882-5600.

Behind the Scenes Curation Tour, 2 p.m., Canyons of

507-0408.

FLC Choirs - Text. (A Celebration of Language), 7 p.m.,

$0-$10. Adults $10, 18 and under free, FLC students free with ID, Fort Lewis College Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Live Music: B Forrest, 7 p.m.,

$5, WildEdge Brewing Collective, 111 N. Market Street.

Leah Grams Johnson, 7:30 p.m., $12, Sunflower Theater, 8 E. Main Street.

Elder Grown & Jive Tribe,

the Ancients National Monument Visitor Center & Museum, 27501 Hwy 184.

9:45 p.m., $12-$15, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 970799-2281.

8 Week Mindful Self-Compassion and Inner Resilience, 5:30 p.m., $250-$450,

Thingamajig Playwrights Festival, All Day, $70, Pagosa

reduced payment plan available, Smiley Building, 1309 E. Third Ave., 970-382-9593.

Dawnland: Indie Lens, 6

Springs Center for the Arts, 2313 Eagle Drive, 970-507-0408.

Saturday

p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 E. Third Ave.

Bake Sale to benefit the Cathy Lincoln Memorial Cancer Fund, 7 a.m., proceeds

Live Music by Robby Overfield, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium,

from your purchases, Great Harvest Bread Co., 4009 E. Main St., suite A.

699 Main Ave., 970-375-7260.

Live Music by Tim Sullivan,

7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 970-375-7260.

Durango Photography Club: Judging the County Fair, 7 p.m., La Plata County Fair-

Four Corners Bee Keepers Conference, 8:30 a.m., $15, San

of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, 210 E. Montezuma St.

Jarabe Mexicano - World,

7:30 p.m., $22-$33, Fort Lewis College Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

CONNECT: Posh Josh & Friends, 10 p.m., $10-$12, An-

imas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 970-799-2281.

Thingamajig Playwrights Festival, All Day, $70, Pagosa

Springs Center for the Arts, 2313 Eagle Drive, 970-507-0408.

Sunday Plein Air Artists of Colorado - Exhibition, 9 a.m., Sorrel

Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave., 970247-3555.

Fall Drama: Doghead, 2 p.m., $12 adults, $10 students and seniors, $8 children 12 and under, Little Theatre - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-566-3430.

Darryl Kuntz, 9 a.m., Durango

Live Music By The Blue Moon Ramblers, 5:30 p.m.,

David Starfire, 9 p.m., $12-$15,

Fall Festival, 10 a.m., Pion

Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 970-799-2281.

Hills Community Church, 5101 N. Dustin Ave.

Thingamajig Playwrights Festival, All Day, $70, Pagosa

1st Annual Dwrf Oktoberforest & Community Potluck, 11:30 a.m., Dolores River

1st Annual Dwrf Oktoberforest & Community Potluck, 10:30 a.m., Dolores River

box. by Dennis Elkins, 7 p.m., $15-$33, Pagosa Springs Center for the Arts, 2313 Eagle Drive, 970507-0408.

The Black Velvet Trio, 4 p.m., Balcony Bar & Grill, 600 Main Ave, 970-422-8088.

Farmers Market, 259 W. Ninth Street.

Friday

College, 4601 College Blvd.

Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., Henderson Fine Arts Center Room 9008.

grounds, Pine Room (Extension Building), 2500 Main Ave.

Springs Center for the Arts, 2313 Eagle Drive, 970-507-0408.

p.m., $12 adults, $10 students and seniors, $8 children 12 and under, Little Theatre - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-566-3430.

Campground-Recreation Hall, 18680 Hwy 145.

Annual Harvest Fest, noon, Durango Nursery and Supply, 271 Kaycee Lane.

Mystery at Deadwood Saloon, 2 p.m., $20, Pine River Li-

Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 970-375-7260.

Thingamajig Playwrights Festival, All Day, $70, Pagosa

Springs Center for the Arts, 2313 Eagle Drive, 970-507-0408.

Monday Matter Of Balance, 2:30 p.m.,

San Juan Regional Medical Center, 800 W. Maple.

Recreation and Resilience after the 416, 5 p.m., Power-

‘Movie Magic’ presented

by Mancos Schools Music Dept., 6:30 p.m., $3-$5, Church

Collecting Family Histories and Stories, 6:30 p.m., Animas

Valley Grange, 7271 CR 203.

Live Music by Leah Orlikowski, 7 p.m., Office Spiritori-

um, 699 Main Ave., 970-375-7260.

Wednesday 12th Annual Economic Summit - La Plata County Economic Development Alliance, 8 a.m., $65-$80, Sky Ute

Casino Resort, 14324 Hwy 172 N, 970-563-7777.

Breast Cancer Awareness Luncheon & Style Show, 11

a.m., $35, Pion Hills Community Church, 5101 N. Dustin Ave. Mosaic Academy Human Body Museum and Health Fair, 12:30 p.m., Mosaic Academy

Charter School, 450 Llano Street.

Moon Rocks Night, 5 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio, 970-259-9234.

Live Music by Greg Ryder,

5:30 p.m., Strater Hotel, 699 Main Ave. Mark Kroos, Doubleneck Gui-

tar Virtuoso, 6 p.m., Cortez Public Library, 202 N. Park Street, 970565-8117.

‘Food for Change’ film screening, 6:30 p.m., Durango

Arts Center, 802 E. Second Ave., 970-259-2606.

Live Music by Terry Rickard, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699

Main Ave., 970-375-7260.

Secret Circus Society Presents ‘Nightmares and Dreamscapes’ the Halloween of Your Dreams!, 8:30

brary, 395 Bayfield Center Drive.

house Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio, 970-259-9234.

STEAM Lab, 3:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 E. Third Ave., 970-375-3380.

Lighthouse Christian Academy Fall Fest Silent Auction Fundraiser, 4 p.m.,

Live Music by Joel Racheff,

p.m., $25-$75, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. Second Ave., 970-375-2568.

7 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 970-247-4431.

Ongoing

Live Music with Truckley Howe, 5:30 p.m., The Irish Embas-

lbccortez.org/auction, The Montezuma County Annex Building, 107 N. Chestnut Street.

Enjoy a Classic Movie on the Big Screen Every Monday Night!, 8 p.m., Pine River

‘Community Calendar’,

Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, 970-884-2222.

Campground-Recreation Hall, 18680 Hwy 145.

sy Pub, 900 Main Ave., 970-4031200.

Henry Stoy, piano at 10:30 a.m. every Saturday and Sunday at Jean-Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave.

Main Ave.

Obe’s Angels Rescue Chile Dinner Benefit Event, 5 p.m., $15, Obe’s Angels Rescue, 27100 Hwy 184.

Thingamajig Playwrights Festival, All Day, $70, Pagosa

Live Music by Bob Maccarni, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699

iAM MUSIC Fest Concerts at 11th Street Station, 5 p.m., $15

Springs Center for the Arts, 2313 Eagle Drive, 970-507-0408.

suggested donation, 1101 Main Ave.

Tuesday

Old west stage shows, held at 5:30 p.m. nightly throughout the summer at Bar D Chuckwagon, 8080 County Road 250. Cost is $12-$38 and reservations are preferred. To reserve, visit www. bardchuckwagon.com.

Mystery at Deadwood Saloon, 6 p.m., $20, Pine River Li-

Beyond Words Art Exhibit, 10 a.m., Henderson Fine Arts

Submissions

Center - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-566-3464.

Submit events for the next week online by noon Monday at www.swscene.com.

Downtown Durango Balloon Glow, 6 p.m., 500 block of

Main Ave., 970-375-7260.

Fall Drama: Doghead, 7

p.m., $12 adults, $10 students and seniors, $8 children 12 and under, Little Theatre - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-566-3430. box. by Dennis Elkins, 7 p.m., $15-$33, Pagosa Springs Center for the Arts, 2313 Eagle Drive, 970-

brary, 395 Bayfield Center Drive.

Live Music by Leah Orlikowski, 7 p.m., Office Spiritori-

um, 699 Main Ave., 970-375-7260.

Fall Drama: Doghead, 7

One Book One Community Nate Powell Book Signing and Events, 2 p.m., San Juan

DGO publishes events online and in print every Thursday.

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 18, 2018 | 19

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Saturday Nov. 10, 2018 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

La Plata County Fairgrounds Join us for a day of workshops, self care, wellness, shopping, live entertainment, AND MORE.

Introducing our first ever all female Mountain Spirits Cocktail Competition!

Mountain

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Additional $15.00 for Women’s Resource Center Cocktail Competition wristband

kids 12 and under

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(all proceeds donated to Women’s Resource Center).

21 years and older

More information at FourCornersExpos.com

S P O N S O R E D B Y:

esthetics

20 | Thursday, October 18, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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Happy Hour!

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BREAKFAST - LUNCH - DINNER Mon-Fri: 9am-10pm · Sat: 8am-10pm · Sun: 8am-3pm (970) 764-4042 · 835 Main Ave, (Main Mall) #106, Durango Not valid with other offers. Expiration Date: 10/31/18

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To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 18, 2018 | 21

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A conversation with a female acquaintance could be important this week. This person might convince you to slightly change your goals for the future.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) You might want to know that you are high-viz this week, which means other people notice you, especially bosses, parents, VIPs and the police. (Do not be caught off guard.)

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Try to do something different this week. Shake up your plans and veer away from your daily routine so that you can have some adventure and a chance to learn something new.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

Discussions about inheritances, shared property, taxes and debt might take

place this week. Of course, you will stay tuned because you are not casual about money.

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) Because the Moon is opposite your sign this week, you have to go more than halfway when dealing with others.

This means you have to be cooperative and charming. Easy!

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Focus on how to get better organized this week. And likewise, focus on how you can improve your health. You might have to give extra attention to the needs of a pet.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) This is a playful, fun-loving week! Flirtations, romantic adventures, sports events and fun activities with children are tops on your menu. Enjoy!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

A conversation with a family member, probably a female, will be important this week. Meanwhile, you will be happy to cocoon at home and hide. You need a rest.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) In conversations with others this week, you want to get right down to the nitty-gritty of things. You don’t want to waste time in superficial chitchat. You want the real skinny.

good luck. (But it also makes you a bit more emotional.)

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) It will please you to work alone or behind the scenes this week because you need a moment to catch your breath.

It’s fun socializing, but you need to get grounded.

BORN THIS WEEK

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

You are creative and talented. You’re excellent at solving problems and working with others. You are strongwilled and determined. You are entering a fun-loving, social year. Begin by appreciating the happiness and beauty around you. Be grateful for who you are and what you have. Count on enjoying the blessing of heightened popularity and warm friendships this year.

This week, the Moon is in your sign, which brings you a little bit of extra

© 2018 King Features Syndicate Inc.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Financial matters are on your mind this week. Therefore, check your bank account. Perhaps you need to take care of something you own. Think about these things.

The goods on GWAR Meaningless moniker There are a buncha theories that GWAR is an acronym for something cool, like “God what an awful racket,” but according to band members, it don’t mean sheeeot. Sounds sus to us.

Jokes and jokes and jokes and...

Your new fav band GWAR started out as a joke back in 1984 (before some of you were even twinkles or whatev) by Dave Brokie, who was playing in a punk band called Death Piggy. One night, Brokie threw on a costume mask and opened for Death Piggy under “Gwaaarrrgghhlllgh,” which was later shortened to GWAR. And the rest is weird ass history.

Fluid swapping You may know GWAR’s live shows involve spraying their audiences with fluids, which are meant to look like blood and spunk (sorry ma), but are really just water mixed with powdered food coloring. / Shrug.

22 | Thursday, October 18, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[single life]

SWIPE RIGHT

You know we don’t speak Spanish. But if YOU do, you might like our new single, who’s a Spanish-speaking manager of both properties and (sooner rather than later) your heart. He grew up in Mexico, knows how to get that special restaurant treatment, and has spent a little time in a place called Nicaragua. If you’re interested, send us an email from behind whatever quesadilla you’re shoveling into your gullet at dgohotsingles@dgomag.com and tell us about yourself. Or, shoot us an email to be featured as a single. Either way, reach out and touch us via the interwebs.

We’re here for you.

Durango Diaries Season 2

Media Insight

Sponsored by:

Thursday, Oct. 23 • 6 p.m.

Durango Public Library 1900 East Third Ave.

Dave Sugnet

Local voices. Local stories.

Age: 28

Welcome to Durango Diaries.

Sign: Virgo Occupation: I’m a property manager for Vacasa, a vacation rental management company. My title is local operations manager.

I oversee 45 homes and condos all through the valley.

The Durango Herald staff discusses their youth suicide project.

Storytellers include: Mary Shinn, solutions journalist Amy Maestas, executive editor

What is your poison?

My poison might be going out too late at Joel’s on a Friday night, or a mojito.

Sarah Flower, solutions audio journalist

Why are you single?

David Buck, digital editor

Good question. I had a long-term relationship in the past, like my college days in Crestview, Colorado.

Since I’m back in my hometown, I’ve been exploring my options and looking around, trying to see who I am as a person.

What are you looking for in a lady?

Someone who is intelligent and has a good sense of humor right off the bat. Someone who I can relate with emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It’s nice to be able to talk to someone about philosophy, life, and a lot of the things that people in society don’t talk about every day. Talking about real shit, the human condition.

It’s good to get into the deep stuff, I feel.

What does a typical week-

Claudia Laws, audience developement manager Shane Benjamin, city editor

end look like for you?

It’s packed full of fun. I love having fun in the mountains. The mountains are my church. I love skiing and mountain biking. I like to be outside and have fun with friends.

Tell me something about yourself that other people don’t know?

I speak Spanish. I lived in Nicaragua for a year, and also grew up in Baha, Mexico. I love getting along with all the guys at the Mexican restaurants, getting that special treatment.

Durang

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