In Search of Grand Ghosts

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, October 25, 2018

DGO

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IN SEARCH OF GRAND GHOSTS At the Grand Imperial Hotel, guests from long ago still walk the corridors

Also: Reader ghost stories, creepy booze, and a review of Sueno

dgomag.com

[advice]

Rocky Road | Katie Burford

Unfriending: The art of breaking up friendships Dear Rocky Road, I have a friend I’ll call Eva. We’ve known each other going on 10 years, though it has almost entirely been maintained via email, texts, and phone calls as we haven’t lived close for the last five years.

Even when we did live in the same state, we had no friends in common and met up every month or two.

There was a time I considered Eva one of my best or perhaps my best friend (and there has never been a remote hint of romantic interest on either end). We went through respective divorces and relationship struggles and shared, advised, and commiserated extensively over the years. She was someone I could rely on, and did.

While Eva was always there for me, and me her, she has always been somewhat high maintenance. She tended to dominate conversations, letting me discuss me for the first 10-15 minutes of a conversation and then go through a litany about her for the rest of a 1-2 hour call. She would text often, sometimes with the innocuous – “How are things?” or “I just saw a deer outside my window” – but a lot that came off as negative and griping – about how she is mistreated by her family, her friends, drivers on the highway, by potential suitors, baristas, or social media algorithms. Sometimes she’d text requesting that I say something to cheer her up or otherwise motivate her, which I’d comply with for years.

For a long time, it felt good to be a good friend to her. And then it didn’t.

Early this year, despite her being in what sounded like successful therapy, things seemed to escalate. Eva became more and more negative and I felt like more and more of a dumping ground instead of a friend. When I would push back, offer advice, or challenge her outlook or approach, she would dismiss me as just another person who doesn’t understand trying to “help” with the same old empty words. Or she would be outright rude or hostile. The cycle was becoming taxing for me.

And then I happened to be going through the extensive journals I kept

for years, reading my detailed accounts of my and Eva’s communications and mutual struggles over the years. From reading my journal, I came to a stunning realization: Eva has been stuck dealing with the same problems in the same ways since I’ve known her.

Sure she’s grown in some areas, but by and large, everything is still there.

I thought, is she going to be going through the same stuff four years from now as she was four years ago? And am I going to keep listening? This imbalance began to turn into resentment.

It got to the point where I needed a break, initially, I thought, for a few weeks. But when I tried to communicate the admittedly vague hows and whys, she lashed out, accusing me of not wanting to hear her troubles the minute my life was going better (my life IS going better since some low points, but it has been for years now).

A lot of this may have been about me not setting boundaries early or often enough over the years. But when I did, albeit gently, I felt like I wasn’t heard.

It’s been five months since I’ve communicated with Eva. I feel guilty for how I handled and left things, becoming just another person to abandon her. And I do miss talking to her and sharing about our lives. At this point I don’t know if she’d even respond if I reached out. And even when I do think about reaching out, I think about the burden this friendship had become (which doesn’t make me feel good for feeling that way) and I don’t want to return to that.

effort is being squandered. Here’s some factors I would suggest considering: Bandwidth The anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar asserts that the cognitive capacity of humans’ brains constrains them to no more than 150 meaningful social connections. Researchers have found evidence of this everywhere from premodern tribes to successful businesses.

While 150 may sound like a lot, Dundar says that our innermost circle consists of only about 5 individuals, to whom we give the bulk of our bandwidth. It’s clear that your questions about Eva have caused you to whittle down her data stream, but you wonder if you’re giving up something vital in the process.

Shared history I’m a Malcolm Gladwell groupie (he wrote “The Tipping Point” and other books about social science) and one concept he has written about that really struck with me is transactive memory.

This is the idea that little bits of ourselves reside in other people’s minds. If those people fall out of our lives, those bits go with them, so it feels like we are losing a little part of ourselves. With Eva, I’m sure the sentiment is especially strong considering you weathered a trial as difficult as divorce together. I believe transactive memory also is the reason we do stupid shit like decide to track down our exes on social media. Like an old film reel, they

preserve a version of us from that time.

The temptation to pay that old self a visit can be irresistible as it is ill-advised.

It’s murkier when it comes to old friends. To be honest, I’ve struggled with this one since I moved to Durango 10+ years ago. People from other places who used to be quite important to me have fallen off my radar. This used to bother me more, but lately I’ve made peace with it. Like skin, we are always shedding bits of ourselves, and yet we remain whole. Just because someone doesn’t stay in your life forever doesn’t detract from the role they once played.

With Eva, you’re pretty clear on where you stand: you know she’s unlikely to change and you know you don’t want to persist in a starkly inequitable relationship. I think if you let guilt alone override this position, you will only resent her more. Shared adversity can be strong glue for friendships, but it takes more to keep the bond strong after the storm. I think it’s OK to thank the universe for the gift of her friendship when you needed it, and consider your karmic debt paid.

Katie Burford has worked a social worker, journalist, university instructor, nanny and barista. These days, she’s a mom, professional ice cream maker and writer.

Reach her at rockyroad@dgomag.com, @ rockyroadadvice (Twitter) or Rocky Road, 1021 Main Ave, Durango, CO 81301.

I’m at a loss. Each path seems treacherous. I wonder when and how it’s OK to walk away from friendships and if that’s what I even want here.

What would you do?

Unfriender Dear Unfriender, The amount of thought you have put into this relationships shows me you are a thoughtful person. But that thoughtfulness represents an investment and you have deep concerns about whether that

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DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 3 Number 53 Thursday, October 25, 2018

Editor Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer Amanda Push apush@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko 375-4553 Contributors Katie Burford

The painted lady

2

Advice

4

What the Fork

A portrait of Lillian Russell, an opera singer and actress who once stayed at the Grand Imperial Hotel in Silverton, the location of our ghost hunt.

5

Sound

Downtown Lowdown

7-8 Ghost Stories 9

Pages

Katie Cahill

10 Ghost Walk

Christopher Gallagher

11 Haunts

Bryant Liggett

16 Weed

Jon E. Lynch

Lindsay Mattison Patty Templeton

Reviews 16-17

18 First Draughts

Amanda Push/DGO Mag

Robert Alan Wendeborn

19 Happening

Design/layout

20 DGO Deals

Colossal Sanders

Chief Executive Officer Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising David Habrat

Mostly ghostly stories from our readers There, in the trees, was an extremely tall, broad-shouldered figure. It was darker than everything around it, and had a weirdly shaped head. Like something pretending to look human.

10 A spirit stroll through Durango DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

DGO Magazine is published

by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

22 Horoscope/ puzzles

11 Haunted hotel hysteria There are plenty of hotels and lodgings in the Four Corners where the dead are still ghosting about, reminding us that they’re still here. Buckle in, cause we have their stories.

23 Hell Yeah, Halloween

/dgomag

The most haunted house in Durango is located on 15th Street. At least, that’s according to Ghost Walk Durango guide Joe Nelson, whose daughter grew up visiting a friend who once lived there.

/dgomag

@dgo_mag

ON THE COVER The (actual) ballroom in Silverton’s Grand Imperial Hotel with a (not actual) ghost visitor.

Tell us what you think!

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know?

Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

Colossal Sanders for DGO; photo via BCI Media file

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What the Fork | Lindsay Mattison

CONJURING UP CREEPY

HALLOWEEN COCKTAILS Ah, Halloween. One of the few nights of the year where it’s completely acceptable to be anyone other than yourself. I hate dressing up, so you won’t find me in costume, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find a cocktail in my hand. Is it going to be a themed cocktail?

Probably, because I’ll take any excuse to amp up the party vibe (even for a party I’m barely participating in). It’s as easy as swapping in tonic water for soda water or playing around with a few fun garnishes, so why not give it a try?

Glow in the dark cocktails This might not be an option for you.

Consider whether you’re throwing a party in a place you really don’t want to see under a blacklight. If you to dare to use one, the quinine in tonic water glows blue under the ultraviolet light.

Plus, it’ll keep your party malaria-free, which is definitely an added bonus! To make a set of glowing cocktails, you can also utilize vitamin B (which glows yellow). Grind up a B-complex pill or dump out the contents of a capsule and add it to your favorite drink. If that concept freaks you out, look for any vitamin B-containing energy drink instead.

Then, have some fun with science by creating new colors. Blue tonic and yellow vitamin B make green, or add pink lemonade to tonic and create a vibrant purple. Adding orange juice to your glowing yellow cocktail would make it a vibrant gold, or use a dark mixer with tonic (like Coke or Kahlua) to give the drink a subtle shimmer. Play around with other colorful combinations!

Getting creepy with colors If the black light isn’t your deal, you can still make creepily-colorful cocktails by mixing in liqueurs – like

THANK YOU

blue curacao, reddish-purplish crème de cassis, or green Midori. You could also go the food coloring route; a few drops of the stuff in clear liquors like vodka will give you any color you’d like.

If you’re feeling adventurous, adding squid ink to your favorite dark-colored cocktails will make them as black as night.

You can really get fancy by picking up a bottle of edible glitter (called Petal Luster Dust). Remember that article a few months back about glitter beer?

Yeah, you can do that at home.

Use that luster to create your very own shimmering liqueur, a shame-free alternative to buying a bottle of Viniq at the liquor store.

Think about garnish You don’t have to be a mixologist to make a creepy cocktail. Capture the Halloween vibe with something as simple as the garnish. Topping a cocktail with powdered dry ice will add a smoky finish to your drink without much extra effort. You could also make a traditional drink like a martini and garnish it with a gummy eyeball instead of an olive for effect. Even easier: Give any glass a ring of colorful sanding sugar or salt. Again with the food coloring – you guys are going to have so much fun this year with that stuff!

Remember Jello shots?

1/3 cup sugar

Are Jello shots something best left behind with our college years? Maybe, but if you’re decked out head-to-toe in costume, you might as well be doing it with a shooter in your hand. Plus, talk about a good excuse to take Jello to an 11. Have some fun making layered Jello shots that resemble candy corn, or use our glow-in-the-dark tips to make them iridescent. It could even be as simple as floating a gummy eyeball or worm into a regular Jello shot.

1/2 cup rum (or vodka, if you prefer)

If you can’t stand the thought of glugging down a shooter, think outside the cup. Look for Jello molds in the shape of brains, bugs, bats, or witches.

You could also make the most sophisticated Jello shooters on the block by turning pumpkin pie into a slice-shaped shot.

Mini Pumpkin Pie Jello Shots Makes 24 shots when quartered 6 Keebler mini graham-cracker pie crusts 1 cup water (plus an additional 1/4 cup water) 1-1/2 envelopes Knox gelatin 1/3 cup canned pumpkin puree 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

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1-1/2 teaspoons heavy cream 1. Pre-bake the mini pie crusts according to the package directions and let cool.

2. Pour 1 cup of the water into a saucepan and sprinkle the gelatin packets on top. Let the mixture sit for a few minutes to let the gelatin bloom.

3. Add the pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, and sugar, and heat the mixture over medium-high heat. Whisk until the sugar is melted and remove the mixture from the heat. Allow it to cool.

4. Add the rum, remaining 1/4 cup of water, and heavy cream to the pumpkin mixture and stir until everything is well combined.

5. Pour the pumpkin mixture into the pie crusts and refrigerate overnight.

Quarter the pies to create slice-shaped servings.

Lindsay D. Mattison is a professional chef and food writer living in Durango. She enjoys long walks in the woods, the simplicity of New York-style cheese pizza, and she’s completely addicted to Chapstick.

Contact her at lindsaymattisonwriter@ gmail.com.

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[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Storm Large is storming Durango with a new take on jazz

J

azz is cool. Dig into it, and you’ll find that it’s had an influential hand in popular culture, and is a genre of music that went hand in hand with the literature of the beat generation and their aimless meandering, set to a soundtrack of bebop. It’s a style of music used regularly in film and television, and soundtracks are riddled with jazz.

It’s a genre of music that has made a mark on every genre to come after it. Jerry Garcia, Geezer Butler, Mike Watt, and Nels Cline all knew that looking to the jazz players was the route to take for developing their sound.

There would have been no improvisation in the worlds of The Grateful Dead or Phish were it not for Miles Davis or Charlie Parker, and there would have been no Minutemen or fIREHOSE without John Coltrane. There wouldn’t be newgrass without the influence of bands like the Mahavishnu Orchestra. Indie-rock, punk, art-rock, the guitar-picking of Chet Atkins or Danny Gatton, The Talking Heads, Fugazi, Fishbone, New Grass Revival, Danny »» Tenaglia, Squarepusher, or anything else melodic and rhythmic from the last 75 years would not exist without some influence from jazz music. Buddy Rich may have been a chest-beating blow-hard when it came to knocking down drummers from any other genre, but those drummers often look to the jazz dudes as inspiration, especially Rich. Jazz is everywhere.

Fort Lewis College celebrates jazz each year with the Jazz on the Hill Concert, an annual event that serves as a fundraiser for the Russ and Bette Serzen Endowment for Concert Hall Operations, which will help the concert hall continue to offer arts and culture well into the future.

This year’s Jazz on the Hill performer is Storm Large and her band.

Large is a member of the Portland,

Bryant’s Best Saturday: Jazz on the Hill Fundraiser with Storm Large, 7:30 p.m., $42/$72/$82, Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College, 1000 Rim Drive.

Information: 247-7657.

Sunday: Erik Nordstrom and Bruce Allsopp play old country and bluegrass, 5 p.m., no cover, Fenceline Cidery, 141 S. Main Street, Mancos. Information: 970533-4005.

is not the most traditional jazz group to take the concert hall stage, she’s a welcome performer.

“The cool thing about jazz is that musicians frequently reinterpret all kinds of music, and it covers many

styles and cultures. It is hard to pin a label on the music,” said Charles Leslie, director of the Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. “In some ways, she is very traditional in that a lot of her music is interpreting the Great American Songbook, which are songs written by some of the premiere jazz artists of the 20th century, like George Gershwin, Cole Porter, and Rodgers and Hart, while working on new takes of modern songs. Storm Large does that with the Pixies, U2, Black Sabbath, Randy Newman, and more. Perhaps Storm is more like a modern jazz artist.”

Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

Happy Halloweed!

Laura Domela via stormlarge.com

Storm Large

Oregon-based jazz, lounge, and pop band Pink Martini, which has been a staple in the Pacific Northwest jazz and festival scene for years.

As a solo performer, she takes the sultry ideals of a jazz and lounge singer to the next level. She shows great depth and emotion with each song, and at times is beautifully irreverent.

She also proves that with a little work, any song, whether from the public domain or a one-hit wonder from a teen star, can be adapted to become a jazz standard. Large made that happen on her last record, 2016’s “Le Bonheur,” a hip dose of laid-back jazz that proves she’s not only a student of jazz, but a music lover whose record collection is all over the map. There’s even a Bad Brains cover, and while Large’s band

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The Alternative Resource

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[sound] What’s new Note: This album review was first published in DGO Mag back in February 2017. What we mean by that is it’s old as Father Time, but you should still check out the record anyway. Oldies but goodies, man, ESPECIALLY when it comes to albums like “Intergalactic Sex Tourists” by The Sex Organs.

This album, “Intergalactic Sex Tourists,” by The Sex Organs, landed way back in 2017, just in time for Snowdown. The press release reads more like a pulp comic, and rightly so.

“The Sex Organs have landed on your planet! They traveled light-years across the universe on a mission to planet Earth to bring YOU their special intergalactic brand of SEX AND ROLL!”

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Between each track, the longest of which clocks in at just over three minutes, are vignettes that recount Earthlings’ episodic encounters, including eyewitness accounts of the first sightings. Listeners are then treated to basic, near-gimmicked, two and three-chord rock ’n’ roll of the finest variety. The two Sex Organs at play burn through tracks like “Lubrication,” “Camel Toe Twist,” “Earth Blues,” and “Orgasms” with such ferocity, it’s hard to deny their simple message and debaucherous appeal.

Sounds like a record made for Durango,

especially at a time when debauchery is at its finest in this town.

Recommended for fans of sexual depravity and humor wrapped in a garage rock record wrought with “primitive pounding drums, wild screeching guitars and SHAMELESS LYRICS!” Available to you readers and listeners since February 2017 via Voodoo Rhythm Records. Compact disc comes with a double gatefold cover and 12-sided booklet. LP comes in standard black vinyl complete with “one free CD, one board game, one Star Poster and one Brain [eff]”. I may be missing something in the Swedish to English translation, as I am unfamiliar with the exact use of “Brain Fuck.” Wait a sec, think I just got it...

—— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

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This is Halloween Patty Templeton is probably watching “Trick ‘r Treat” right now. Tell her yer fav Halloween flick on Twitter via @PattyTempleton.

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[fear]

Our favorite readers’ ghost stories to tell in the dark

NON-HUMAN ENTITIES, SKINNED BOYFRIENDS, AND ROTTING FLESH

During my first year of college, I was walking with friends back up to campus. We had missed the last bus of the night and were walking back in pure darkness, save for some lights. As I was walking, I could hear the trees swaying and water bubbling. Curious, I turned my head to see into the forest next to us.

There, in the midst of the trees, was an extremely tall, broad-shouldered figure. It was darker than everything around it, and had a weirdly shaped head. Like something pretending to look human. I got the feeling that I was looking at something I was not supposed to look at. Then it moved, glided up the hill towards me, and I screamed and ran up the road. My friends had no idea what had happened and tried to dismiss it as something mundane.

skeptic, or I try to ignore things like this, but at this point, I knew something was haunting me.

I asked my friends for help and they told me that I was paranoid. But one friend listened. She asked to inspect my dorm room. Later we went back and she asked to be left alone in my room, and told me not to come in. I obeyed, waiting in the living room until she came back.

A non-human entity was in my room. Together, we prayed and smudged the room, as she has experience with such things. She prefers her privacy so I will not elaborate more on her knowledge and

background. With that done, she told me to sleep, and for the first time in two weeks, I felt better than ever.

— Kayla Shaggy

This building (Riff Raff Brewing Co.) is one of the oldest in Pagosa. It was built in 1896. Over the years, it’s been a number of different things. It was a doctor’s office. It’s been a residence. Probably the most interesting – it was a mortuary.

But we’ve had people come in, Continued on Page 8

I calmed down and went back to my dorm, trying to forget it. However, the following two weeks would reaffirm the fact I had done something wrong. Smells of rotting flesh, piles of dead bugs, and a great feeling of unease, all of it contained in my dorm room. Then I started getting large cuts and bruises. Normally I’m a

Colossal Sanders for DGO

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[fear] From Page 7

know, all kinds of things.

and they will say there’s a presence here. And so they ask to go downstairs, or I’ve had one guy come back to the brewery and, it was pretty goofy, but he had a flashlight and he was trying to communicate. People have a lot of different reactions.

But Arabella, that’s the name that we decided on of the ghost. And it’s been reported from other people that have occupied the space that she’s a woman in a brown dress. And when Shelley – Shelley is one of the co-founders (of Riff Raff) – when she was looking kind of at the history of the building, she found the name Arabella somewhere and she mentioned it to one of the previous owners of the building and she said both of them just got chills. So they just decided that was the name and she is a trickster.

She loves throwing pennies at people or leaving pennies in really weird spots.

Like we did a barrel-aged green chili beer, and when we emptied it and lifted it up, there was a penny underneath it. How did it get there? You

I’ve had a couple weird times. The most recent one – we are closing down – my friend, Steven, he was the floor manager that night, and I was bartending. It was midnight or so by the time we’re locking up and getting out of here. There’s a CO2 monitor here and if anything with the soda kegs or anything like that is off, the CO2 monitor will trip and then you have to go and reset it. We hadn’t touched the soda for a couple hours at this point. We shut at 10, so we’re back in the office closing up, locking up, (and we) come out and the CO2 is scrolling. Well, that’s really weird.

So I go and reset it, and then I go back down to the basement, which is also terrifying late at night, and come up, check it out. We’re sitting there waiting to see because if there’s a problem, it’ll trip again in two minutes. So we’re sitting there waiting, and all of a sudden the brewhouse music kicks on. Nobody had been back there for hours and it’s just hooked up to an iPod, right?

All of a sudden the music kicks on, and I don’t remember the name of

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The other weird thing that had happened is when we were trying to set the alarm, one of the doors wasn’t communicating with that monitor, so I was trying to override it, and what I accidentally did was triggered a call to the alarm company who calls here and if we don’t answer, then they send a call out to EMS. So EMS is on the way, and we did not know that cops were about to walk in the door either.

All of a sudden this officer comes in and he’s just like, ‘Is everything OK?” It’s like, ‘Tell me, sir, do you believe in ghosts?’ He said he didn’t, so I made him walk around everything. Like this is the most crazy night. It’s just like a series of weird events. So we blamed Arabella, for sure.

— Madeline Bergon, Riff Raff Brewing Co.

Back in the early ’70s, there was a young couple riding into town from the dryside. On Blue Hill they got a flat. The girl’s boyfriend got out to change it ... and then nothing but silence. After panicking for two hours (no cell phones then) the girl got out, started walking, and caught a ride into town. She reported her boyfriend being missing. The next morning La Plata Sheriff went out to investigate. They found her boyfriend hanging from a tree, skinned.

— Erich Fowler

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the song, but it was this metal song, and the first couple lyrics were like, ‘You’re not alone.’ And my friend Stephen and I were like, ‘This is bullshit!’ So I like pushed him and was like, ‘You have to go turn it off!’

I was working at an alt-weekly in Dallas after years at a paper in Houston, and I was having a pretty hard time adjusting to north Texas.

Part of the issue was that I couldn’t find a place to live that wasn’t totally sloping-floor trash or tiny (as in lay-on-the-floor-and-stretch-yourarms-to-touch-both-walls tiny). So, when I found an affordable place in a cool ass old building on the east side, I was stoked. I probably should have known something was wrong with the apartment from the price, but I’m dumb. I moved into the apartment, which had a HUGE bedroom with two closets and cool old wood floors, but something

about the place was unnerving. I was totally creeped out by the bedroom and couldn’t bring myself to sleep in there, so I started sleeping on the couch instead.

The bathroom was even more disconcerting. Something just felt...off.

I HATED showering or peeing in there, but there wasn’t really any reason for it, other than the off-putting feeling of being watched. But, I had to shower, and one day, I was doing just that, when an econo-sized bottle of conditioner FLEW off the shelf with such force that it hit me square in the face.

But, I figured my paranoia was getting to me, and justified that this was a figment of my imagination and the bottle had simply slipped, not been thrown by an invisible hand. This started happening every time I’d shower. The bottles of body wash, shampoo, and conditioner would launch at me from their spots in the shower every. single. time.

Then, one night, I had like six too many shots of Fireball and I passed out face down on the bed in that creepy bedroom, which I NEVER did.

I was woken up with the room still pitch black at 8:45 a.m. by an old man, who was leaning over me and tapping my back. He kept saying, “Excuse me.

Excuse me,” and gesturing toward my clock. I was so panicked about being late that it didn’t seem odd at first that some VERY TALL dude with gray hair and sad, black eyes woke me up. It wasn’t til my extremely hungover ass got into the car that it hit me: I don’t know an old man in the apartments, nor did anyone have access to my place. I can still feel the way the hair on the back of my neck stood up when I realized a stranger had woken me up for work.

I stayed the hell out of the back half of that apartment until I moved out a few months later (thank Beelzebub for six month leases). I still have NO idea what was in that apartment, or why it was worried that I was late to an editorial meeting, or WHY it hated my shampoo. Whatever it was, I can tell you that I was effing traumatized by it, and I have not been able to reconcile any of this as simple paranoia in the years since.

Something was in that apartment, and while it did me a solid by keeping me from missing work, I don’t fully believe it was all kind and good. Shit was weird, man.

— Angelica Leicht

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[pages]

TIPS ON SURVIVING CREEPY KILLERS FROM STEPHEN GRAHAM JONES

Author Stephen Graham Jones wants you, fiends and friends, to last the eventide onslaught of a serial killer. I mean, the dead don’t cipher stories – usually – and Jones has a gorgeously grisly stack of terror texts for your reading regard. They’re dark books by a writer who has typed his keyboard bloody before. Jones’ll set your guts quaking and fingers shaking as you fast-flip pages, because he’s the type of inkslinger who used to line his workspace with knives so he wouldn’t ever use hard-won writing time for much-needed sleep.

DGO likes to think we’d endure zombies and critters and creatures and killers, but honestly, we’d be a shitshow in a survival horror situation. We’ve also realized our bookshelves are a hell-dash empty. As such, we pecked Jones’ brain on murdering art fears, how to survive a horror movie moment, and what books to read the morning you’re safe, but everyone you know is probably dead.

What killer do you hope comes to your door because you might actually beat them?

about “Baby Teeth” [by Zoge Stage].

What about for-sure fab horror reads you’d rec?

Probably Ghostface. Ghostface is always a person in a mask. What they have is surprise, but they can be taken out by refrigerator doors and weapons.

I think everybody should read Sara Gran’s “Come Closer.” It’s a demonic possession novel from about the mid-2000s. That book came before “Paranormal Activity,” and when I saw “Paranormal Activity,” I thought it was an adaptation of Sara’s book, but turns out it wasn’t.

I don’t think I’d have a chance against too many other types. A Jason or a Freddy? I don’t think I’d stand a chance.

What song would soundtrack the gorefest?

I would also recommend Gemma Files’ “Experimental Film.” That’s a really, really good novel. And, probably one of my favorite horror novels to come out in years, was Grady Hendrix’s “My Best Friend’s Exorcism.”

Probably Meatloaf, “Bat Out of Hell.” I think that’d help me survive. It’s got the long tracks, you know? It’s very hopeful, I think.

Back to that murder-party...when the killer arrives, what should someone do to immediately maximize personal survival?

A buncha crazy co-eds go celebrate Halloween in the woods. What unusual survival tip do you give them?

I mean, there’s all the rules, like – don’t split up, don’t do drugs, don’t have sex, or you get killed. But, I don’t know if that’s helpful.

I think my tip would be to hide. Nobody ever just crawls into a cabinet in the kitchen and stays there for the duration. I don’t think most killers think after coming into a kitchen with their chainsaw or machete, ‘I better look in that cabinet over there.’ I think if you hide in the itty-bitty place that you shouldn’t really fit, you’d have a better chance of surviving the night.

Definitely not the closet or pantry though.

No. Definitely not. Not under the bed either.

Devil’s advocate: what about a tip for the monster? (Beside look in the tiny cabinet.)

I would tell the monster trying to dispatch these people to wait until it’s about three in the morning.

When you come in at eleven at night, they’re all awake and having a good time, but things are starting to wind down at two or three. People are pairing off, they have too much alcohol in them, they’re getting tired – I think it would be easier.

Is there a fear you haven’t dealt with

Courtesy of demontheory.net

»» Stephen Graham Jones on the page yet?

If there is, I can’t think of it. Every time I identify something I haven’t done, I try to make myself do it.

I am afraid that if I stay in the safe area then I’m going to write safe horror. The horror writers I admire go into the dark places. Every time I sense one of those, I go that direction.

Is there a horror read you visit every autumn?

I actually try to read “The Long Halloween” every October. The comic book. Twelve issues.

What book of yours should someone read in October?

Probably “After the People Lights Have Gone Off.” It’s got a Halloween story or two in it.

What about a horror book on your toread pile?

I’m about to start “The Dig,” by Cynan Jones – a little, short novel. And, I’ve been hearing good stuff

Running never helps, it just gets you isolated.

Continuing together with others is probably the best short-term save, as the weapons these slashers use usually are a one-at-a-time kind of thing.

What weapon(s) should folks hope to find in the house?

Fireplace pokers, baseball bats, the old hairspray-plus-lighter trick. Even coat hangers work, right?

What weapon(s) should someone avoid because it/they never actually kill the killer?

Avoid guns. They never work against slashers or vampires or werewolves. All they do, really, is establish that it’s going to take something different and smarter to survive this night.

And, finally, any tips for the final survivor when talking to the cops who only show up when everyone’s dead?

None of the forensic evidence is really going to clear you. Best bet? Convince the police you had no motivation. Don’t try to use your injuries as proof, though. That just tells them you’re Billy and Stu. —— Patty Templeton

����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 25, 2018 | 9

[haunted Durango]

GO! Where: Meet at Second Ave. and 12th St. at old high school Price: $15 Website: ghostwalkdurango.com

»» The old high school, now Durango School District 9-R’s administration building is home to a ghostly student who has been there since 1957.

Colossal Sanders/ BCI Media file

Taking a stroll through some of Durango’s paranormal hot spots The most haunted house in Durango is located on 15th Street. At least, that’s according to Ghost Walk Durango guide Joe Nelson, whose daughter grew up visiting a friend who once lived there.

After weekend sleepovers, Nelson would pick his daughter up and ask her how her stay was. Often, she would casually mention “the children who lived there before” and their penchant for wanting to play with Lincoln Logs. The children would sometimes play tricks on his daughter and her friend, shutting them in rooms and not letting them out or making messes of her friend’s toys.

Not wanting to bring too much attention to the matter, Nelson didn’t press his daughter too hard on the subject.

Stays at the house stopped abruptly, however, after one evening when Joe received a frantic call from his daughter asking to be picked up. A woman’s

voice could be heard yelling in the background. When he pulled up to the house, his daughter, her friend, and her friend’s sister were all outside in their pajamas, despite the cold, waiting for him. According to the girls, their parents had gone out to see a movie when a disembodied woman’s voice started screaming at them to get out of her house. The family moved not long after.

who haunt the Rochester Hotel – the cowboy wanders the halls and messes with his gun belt, while the woman is known to show up in guests’ rooms dressed only in lingerie. It causes quite the stir, as visitors tend think their rooms have been double booked. Not to worry, though. She won’t show up if children are around. If you’re a couple or a single man, though, you might be in for a surprise.

This is just one of many tales you’ll hear during Nelson’s tour of the haunted houses, churches, and businesses in downtown Durango.

There’s also the sound of children’s playful laughter at First Presbyterian Church – a noise that no one can pinpoint the source of. When Nelson served as a Boy Scout leader, the group met at the church, and he too heard the children. When he grilled his scouts about the noise, no one knew what he was talking about. Other parents and groups have reported hearing the noise as well. Once, during an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, a member was speaking to the group, and the talk was

There’s Robert, the nice ghost who haunts Elks Lodge and doesn’t like it when people stay too late. He’s known for protecting the females who visit or work there, knocking men off their stools or whacking at their hats if they act unruly toward the women.

There’s the cowboy and sex worker

repeatedly interrupted by the sound of children laughing and playing. When the group leader called the church to ask if they could meet at the church on a night when the scouts weren’t also meeting, the church staff member replied that AA was the only group scheduled to meet at the church that evening.

Then there’s mansion turned Hood Mortuary on Third Avenue, where Nelson said he’s been told by multiple people that if you walk by one of the rooms upstairs, you can hear the sound of a rocking chair creaking and a woman crying. When you look inside, no one is there.

Durango is filled with these creepy ol’ stories and more, so be sure to follow Nelson around as he makes his downtown rounds...if you dare.

—— Amanda Push

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[haunts]

GHOSTLY HOTEL GUESTS CHECK IN FROM THE OTHER SIDE

Most people don’t get to work side by side with apparitions from days gone by, but that’s not necessarily the case for hotels, where spirits are known to loom for much longer than regular guests.

There are plenty of hotels and lodgings in the Four Corners where the dead, spirits, energy, or whatever you want to call it, are still ghosting about, reminding us every now and then that they’re still here. Watching. Listening. Opening doors.

Moving things. Appearing in mirrors. We can’t stop shuddering.

And, despite what we hope are mostly pleasant intentions, sharing space with the long since passed is still unnerving. So freak yourself out and get ready to hide under your blankets with these unnerving haunted hotel tales. And maybe avoid looking in mirrors for a while.

Creede Hotel, Creede

at that point. We had very young children and they started noticing things before we did. We were out pushing our son on one of the swings one day, and he wanted to know who the girl was in the window upstairs. He was two or three – not at any age where he could make anything like that up.

So it’s one of the oldest hotels in downtown Creede. It was built, I think, in 1892, and it was originally called the Zang’s Hotel was when it was established. We’ve had people, like some Wild West characters like Poker Alice, who is actually one of my favorite characters. She was an old lady that would sit with all the guys around the poker table in the bar area just chewing on a fat cigar. ... Calamity Jane has been through the Creede area as well. Soapy Smith has been one that’s stayed with us as well. It (the hotel) used to be a brothel.

One of the stories I have is (about) my husband. We just moved here this past May. When he was moving back and forth between Telluride and here, he would stay at the hotel. One night, he left in the evening, and we’d been doing a few renovations over the summer, so all the ladies (who were working) had all gone and locked up after painting and what not. Then, when he came back late at night, all the lights were on. All the hotel room doors were open. He could actually hear people chatting and glasses clinking. He was terrified and ran into his room and locked the doors.

Our bartender, Paul, he has experienced a few things here and there throughout the summer. He said when he went into the kitchen to close everything down, it was just him and it was dark outside.

He went into the kitchen and heard what he described as a spoon hitting a metal pan, just like a loud CLANK, and there was nobody around. He said that there’s been noises coming out of the dish pit area.

Then, he said he couldn’t tell what it was – it was something small, like maybe a child or a pet – but he saw something run across our dining room. It would start from the front door and then run into the lobby area. He said it happened pretty frequently and sporadically throughout the day, but he said it was almost consistently every day that he was there.

Our most famous story has to do with this mirror that hangs up behind our front desk. Years ago, one of the staff members was just randomly taking photos of the lobby and the dining room. He took this picture of the mirror and you could clearly see this woman from her shoulders up – you know, long hair, big collar.

Everything was in detail except for her face – her face was blurred out. Another thing was that her neck looked like it had been stretched and kind of broken.

We usually don’t get any kind of activity when it’s really busy. Or, if we do, we don’t notice it. You know, it’s just part of the chaos that is our life, right? But we had a college group in the house and my husband went downstairs to get something right after dinner. He walks into our basement living room and ... there’s a woman sitting on a pool table. We don’t have a pool table, first of all. But she was there long enough for him to notice that she was blonde, about 20 years old, and sitting on a pool table wearing a blue dress. And then she was gone. And he had enough time to think it was one of the college kids that got down here and isn’t supposed to be here.

Creede Hotel

»» Creede Hotel was built around 1892 and was originally a brothel.

So, he showed it to the staff members and they all tried recreating the photo, and they couldn’t get it.

They went to a historian of the town and they found out that – and I don’t know exactly the date – but a long time ago, a woman had fallen into the flume right behind the hotel and broken her neck.

Sarah Efthim, guest service manager

Spruce Lodge, South Fork It was built in 1926 as a hotel and boarding house.

There used to be a big sawmill across the street that operated from roughly 1890-1999. And you know, the hotel was built by the people that own the sawmill out of all local lumber.

When we bought the hotel in May of 2006, the owners told us it was haunted and we didn’t believe in any of that.

We said, ‘Sure, sure, it is. Yeah, it’s an old building.’

It took about six months for things to start happening. It’s not like it happened right away. But just little things that we started noticing after about six months

And then my other basement experience would be ... I had to get up super early because we were serving a group. So we would have been busy, probably Christmas or spring break. We were serving breakfast. My husband had already gotten up, The alarm had just gone off, and he had left the room. I was trying to go back to sleep but I had to go to the bathroom so I was like, ‘I’ll just get up.’ So I get up and I’m walking out of our bedroom and there’s a man standing there right by our alarm clock. And I thought, ‘Well, what’s he doing just standing by the alarm clock?’ I thought it was Rob (my husband). Then I said ‘Good morning.’ I’m heading for the bathroom and he turns around and walks away. So I stop and watch him, and it’s dark and shadowy and whatnot.

I see him walk down in front of the bed, and then turn and go down Rob’s side of the bed. He didn’t say anything to me. And this isn’t just a flash and it’s gone.

It was probably 20 seconds or so. And I’m standing there thinking, ‘What the hell is your problem?’ and I’m thinking, ‘Well, we didn’t have a fight. Why is he not talking to me? What is his deal?’ And so I go into the bathroom and Rob is in there shaving. He’s not in our room. Both the kids are still asleep. We went and checked on them and we turn all the lights and there’s nobody there. But it wasn’t just a quick flash kind of thing. There was definitely somebody there.

Dee Plucinski, owner and operator —— Amanda Push

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Haunted history

»» What appears to be a ghostly figure stands guard in the key room in the basement of the Grand Imperial Hotel.

Grand Imperial Hotel

HISTORIC HAUNTING »» We stayed at one of the ghostly hotels in

the Four Corners and lived to tell the tale

By Amanda Push | DGO STAFF WRITER

W

e’re sweating bullets as we slowly creep our way through the precarious mountain pass that leads to the small town of Silverton.

The sun has long since disappeared, making the drive even more unnerving as we navigate its sharp turns. We try, and fail, not to look down toward where the road ends and the steep chasms below us begin. It’s not a great start to the evening, one where anxiety is running high thanks to our final destination. Tonight, we plan to sleep in one of the rooms at the very haunted historic Grand Imperial Hotel.

»» A couple of ghostly orbs we caught on camera in the hidden tunnel below the street during a trip to the haunted Grand Imperial Hotel in Silverton.

The hotel was built in 1882 and opened in 1883 in direct response to the addition of the railroad, which acted as transportation to and from town. The hotel was commissioned

by W.S. Thompson, a perfume importer from England who’d started investing in the local mining industry and wanted to provide luxury accommodations for visitors. Today, there are 32 guest rooms scattered between the second and third floors, and the Grand Imperial is owned by the Harper family.

With its long and storied history, the 135-year-old building has plenty of sad, strange, and supernatural tales to share with its guests.

There’s Luigi, a ghost who died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in Room 314, and the doctor, who was staying in a nearby room and tried to save him. There’s the old sheriff, who to this day guards the tunnels under the town where the women of ill repute on Blair Street were shuttled to and from their customers scattered across Silverton.

There’s the woman who likes to sing and smells of perfume. There’s the old miner who still visits the bar to order a drink, decades after he tragically died. And then, there’s the bartender, who haunts the theater in the basement and likes to play tricks on those he deems disrespectful.

Activity at the hotel started picking up in 2015, when the construction crews remodeling the third floor started having nails and chunks of drywall thrown at them.

Apparently, their work was upsetting one of the resident ghosts. The tantrums got so bad that the workers started going downstairs to wait out the upset spirit.

In September of this year, the events were investigated by Four Corners Paranormal Investigations as part of the “World’s Largest Ghost Hunt” on National Ghost Hunting Day – an event where ghost hunters around the world lead supernatural investigations on the same day. The ghost hunters stayed the night in the basement, one of the most haunted parts of the building, and, according to Myste

French, the hotel front supervisor, they caught a glimpse of a misty apparition floating in the theater.

We stayed at the Grand Imperial in early October, and while we didn’t have chunks of drywall thrown at us or objects moved around on us (that we know of...) we have a few stories of our own to tell.

The stay We arrive at the Grand Imperial after an hour-long, steering wheel-clenching drive. It’s late, and the streets are peacefully quiet, with not much open at this hour. We grab our bags and head inside, where we’re greeted by a beautiful Victorian-esque lobby covered in regal carpeting and furniture. In the corner is an antique piano, roped off from curious sticky fingers, and a golden staircase leading to the rooms. As we make our way across the lobby, we feel the eyes of a statuesque woman staring out from a large painting. It’s the portrait of Lillian Russell, an opera singer and actress who once stayed at the Grand Imperial. The painting is one of very few likenesses of her.

We grab our keys from the friendly front desk person and make our way to our room, which is located just down the hall from the most haunted room in the Grand Imperial, room 314. We’re noticeably nervous as we climb the stairs, on alert for any signs of the long-dead seeking our attention. In our state of heightened awareness, we absorb the details: daunting staircases, glistening, stained glass chandeliers, and the many paintings that stand vigilant on the walls. We lose our way in the winding hallways more than once, but finally arrive at our place of lodging for the night in room 304.

Warily, we unlock the door to our room and peek inside, fully expecting there to be a spectral waiting for us inside with a cold smile. There is no shadow figure to greet us – just two floral patterned beds, which sit beneath black and white photographs of stern-faced men and women of the Old West Continued on Page 14

Amanda Push/DGO

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[haunts] From Page 13

era. Even with no ghosts, we feel it give off a weird vibe, and opt to search for a place to grab some food, which seems preferable to hanging out in the deathly quiet hotel.

We take to the streets and come across the Golden Block Brewery – a lively contrast to the evening silence of Silverton. We settle in for beers and pizza, and immediately get into our first impressions of the Grand Imperial and our room. Our companion is visibly anxious about the stay, while we are a bit more calm, especially after downing a drink special called the Sinafire, which is filled with Fireball whiskey, apple puckers, cranberry, and soda.

After a few beers, we take a shot, we hope, for good luck. Perhaps the more spirits we ingest, the more likely it is that the ones at the hotel will let us sleep.

We head back to the hotel, warm with beer and liquor. By the time we reach the room, we have a game plan ready: we will not to leave our beds until the sun comes out, and we will leave the TV on all night. No way are we sleeping without lights on because, well, we’re adults.

Things don’t go that smoothly, though. Do they ever? We take turns waking up all night, our brains filled with stories about every strange sound we catch over the noise of the too-loud TV. On top of the anxiety, our night is peppered with sound of footsteps on a phantom wood floor – a common phenomenon, apparently – and the sound of a jiggling door handle. There’s also the unnerving sound of someone walking on the floor above us, the most unsettling event of the night, as there is no floor above the third, yet the tap-tap-tapping is endless nonetheless.

After a sleepless night, we meet with Myste French, the front desk supervisor, for a tour of the building.

During our walk, we hear lots of stories we were thankful we didn’t know the night before.

The tour “We don’t necessarily promote it but we don’t hide it,” said French of the hotel’s resident ghosts. “To some people, it’s a draw. To other people, it’s a turnoff. So we don’t want turn away prospective guests, but we also don’t want to deny what’s happening and be respectful to the beings that are here.

Amanda Push/DGO

»» Front desk supervisor Myste French sits beneath a painting in the lobby of the haunted Grand Imperial Hotel.

Not exploit them but also not deny their existence. We toe the center line on that issue.”

During our tour, French takes us down to the basement, showing us the tunnels that run through the hotel and under the sidewalks of Silverton, unbeknownst to passersby.

“There were tunnels that kind of connected the respectable areas of town with the red light district,” French said. “We have what’s called an underground sidewalk ... and that apparently connected to the tunnel system that went over to Blair Street.

Near where that connection was made, there’s a ghost down there they speculate might actually be the old sheriff from that time – Sheriff Dowd.

He was suspected of running the ring of bringing the women over to the respectable side of town.”

Staff at the hotel also suspect the sheriff is the spirit that haunts the key room where there has been reported activity. At one point, someone took a photo of a dark apparition, which appeared to guard the doorway

of the room.

There’s also the conference room in the basement, where one of the few female spirits haunts.

“Her name is Miss Mary, and she has a British accent. Associated with her visitations will often be women singing or women humming, the sound of a beautiful woman’s voice singing, and the smell of perfume like honeysuckle or vanilla.”

Down the hall is the theater, where the saloon was originally located. It’s there where you’ll find a lot of activity, which is thought to be caused by a spirit called “The Bartender.”

“He is kind of serious and likes to be respected. If people are being loose and jokey about the ghosts, he’ll tend to play tricks on them and try to gain respect,” French said. “People will hear music. They’ll hear old-timey tunes or a piano playing. There’ll be glasses clinking. There’ll be cheering, kind of like a raucous crowd down there. Sometimes people will even see a mist floating across the stage.”

As we stand near the entrance of

the theater listening to French, we hear rustling toward the back of the room, and a tapping noise behind the curtain. Chalking it up to the hotel staff, we aren’t too bothered by it.

Well, until we walk to the stage and no one is, or had been, back there.

“Did you hear that, too?” we ask French. She had not. We move on to the next portion of the tour, unnerved.

Next is the main level of the Grand Imperial, where we learn of the spirits that cause trouble in the kitchen.

They have a penchant for knocking over pots, pans, and food on the counter, and at times, causing the soda machine to malfunction.

One ghost – who staff believe perished in an avalanche – still likes to visit the bar and order a drink. Once he puts in his order, he vanishes into thin air without taking a sip.

The second and third floors are, as with the rest of the hotel, filled with stories of ghostly activity. One of the common things to hear, we learn, is footsteps approaching your door. The

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Amanda Push/DGO

»» The exterior of the Grand Imperial Hotel in Silverton.

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upper levels’ most famous apparition is Luigi – a man who died by suicide in 1890 in Room 314. Today, Luigi enjoys playing tricks on guests.

“A somewhat prominent actor was staying here and went up to his room.

(He) got checked in, went back up to his room and was locked out – the little chain. Someone had put the chain across. ... Then we had some kids who were staying here and they were super interested when they got here. ‘Tell us about the ghost! We want to know all the stories!’ And we were like, ‘OK, well if you have any experiences, you’ll have to let me know.’ And the next morning, the little girl told me that she when she was in the shower, she heard whispering in the bathroom, and then when she got out of the shower, she went into

the main room to watch TV with her family, and the shower turned on. It stayed on for like 30 seconds and then turned off. She was ecstatic. She was so happy. She wanted to make contact and she made contact.”

A big part of making a connection with the spirits, French said, is a person’s willingness to be open to the supernatural. None of the ghosts at the Grand Imperial are vicious, so it’s fine to be open to them, even if the idea is a bit unsettling.

“There’s nothing malicious or malignant or evil in the building.

Nothing is trying to hurt anybody or scare anybody. It’s more trickster, prankster kind of things or deaths where they were probably a pretty sad person who was dealing with a lot of DGO anguish at that time.”

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��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 25, 2018 | 15

[weed]

A perfect combo of Blue Dream and Sour Diesel A brand new little strain called Sueno is slated to hit the shelves at Prohibition Herb the day that this magazine drops on yo’ shelves (October 25, fools), and we got our hands on it well in advance to let you know our thoughts. We are lucky, lucky jerks.

You may or may not know much about Sueno, so lemme school you real quick-like on the ins and outs of this strain. This strain is a hybrid created by crossing Blue Dream – one of the finest, classiest strains out there – and Sour Diesel, another one of them fine, fine strains. The result is a strain that contains 22.21 percent THC, so... a lot... and right now, it’s available only on the recreational side of Prohibition.

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TANGIE POWER Award-winning and exclusive at Chronic Therapy-Cortez! /cortezchronictherapy

1st Place: Flower Potency 2nd Place:Terpenes #cortezchronictherapy

1020 S Broadway Cortez, CO 81321 | Mon-Sat: 8am-9pm | Sun: 9:30am-7pm

I grabbed this beaut from the dispensary on a random weeknight, and the first thing I noticed when I popped off the lid was how gatdang fantastic it smelled. Like, no lie. The bud smelled like a sweet, frosty winter forest, which was a bit surprising, considering one of this plant’s parents (Sour Diesel, I’m side-eying in your direction) is a stank ass. But, apparently the Blue Dream terpenes are strong with this one, cause there just wasn’t anything sour or fuel-smelling that I could detect in Sueno.

The terpenes weren’t the only qualities Sueno took from Blue Dream, either. Both Blue Dream and Sour Diesel are sativa-dominant strains, but Blue Dream is known for its epic pain-relieving powers, cerebral head high, and ability to calm you riiiiight the hell down. In other words, it may be sativa-dominant, but Blue Dream acts a whole lot more like an indica to me, minus the knock-you-right-out and make you sleep for an eternity part of it.

And, that’s precisely what Sueno took from Blue Dream. Holy effing indica effects, Batman. Sueno is next level. I only smoked about half a bowl, and by the time I’d gotten down to the end of it, I had a major head high and was stoned as a mufucka. I felt relaxed, entertained, and – in rolling waves – amused with everything happening around me. And by amused, I mean I was laughing at everything and nothing simultaneously. I wasn’t even bothered by the fact that I was outside, barefoot, in the cold, wet weather. I was entirely too amused to be bothered by that.

There was no question that I was stoned, and I could not

Details Where to find Sueno: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino Del Rio, 970-385-8622, prohibitionherb.com Price: $9 a gram or $30 an eighth, available only on the rec side Caveats: Prohibition didn’t bribe us for a good review. Our opinions, and our newfound love of Sueno, was all us.

have hidden it if I’d tried. My housemate asked me a question as I walked in the house and I just could NOT gather the answer to it. No idea what he asked.

His response to my non-response: “Are you high? You’re high as hell, aren’t you. (Laughs hysterically.) Oh my GAWD, you’re so dumb.”

As you can imagine, that only set me off further.

At no point did I feel like passing tf out like I normally do with indicas, nor was the body high ever overwhelming. Like the laughter, it came in welcome waves, vacillating from my head to my appendages without ever being obnoxious.

I did wind up with a SERIOUS case of the munchies, though. At one point, I decided to microwave a bag of steamed corn and then eat the entire thing in one sitting, and it was DELICIOUS. Sueno is not for the dieting crowd.

Epic case of the munchies aside, I REALLY liked this strain. It’s the perfect balance between Blue Dream and Sour Diesel. As long as you aren’t counting calories, I’m like 99.9 percent sure you’ll also adore this one. And if you ARE counting calories, just get some Sueno anyway and stock the fridge with carrot sticks instead of edible food items. You won’t regret that life choice. Promise.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

16 | Thursday, October 25, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[weed]

A beefed-up sativa from Chronic Therapy

Your Passport to go

EVERYWHERE!

Anything with the word “power” in it is usually okay in my book. Pony power, infinite power, or Max Power (yes, that’s a random Simpsons reference). All of them are pretty fantastic versions of power. And, you know, the same goes for Tangie Power, the strain we’re reviewing this week from Chronic Therapy in Cortez.

This is the first time we’re reviewing a strain from Chronic Therapy, so I’d like to give you a bit of background on this weed dispensary, cause you may not be familiar with ’em just yet.

So, Chronic Therapy is a dispensary out of Cortez (duh), and they’re pretty new-ish. By that I mean the dispensary initially opened back in July of 2018, but the shop was only open for a few days before some asshole torched it, causing significant fire damage and a huge loss of like, pretty much e’rything.

The shop, which, to reiterate, HAD ONLY BEEN OPEN A FEW DAYS, had no choice but to close its doors.

But, like a phoenix rising from the marijuana ashes, Chronic Therapy reopened in early October, and now we’re here to help review some of their weed. Big mistake, arsonists. Huge.

Anyway, that major hiccup makes it all the more fitting that we’re reviewing Tangie Power, a strain from Chronic Therapy that is strong in both name and popularity, and has won MAJOR AWARDS. And for good reason, too.

The first thing I noticed about this strain when I flipped open the lid was that the buds were SO frosty. The orange hairs were barely visible under all that great trichome dust. I also noticed the unmistakable aroma of citrus, which was rising up from the container in literal Pigpen stink-waves. You could almost see it happening.

Those were all good signs, and things only continued to go uphill from there.

I threw a couple of the buds into my grinder on a Friday night, and the smell it emitted, along with the crumble of the plant matter, was so uniform and pretty that I almost felt bad loading it into my pipe. ALMOST. And, as expected, like the consistency of the grind, the burn of this bud was really nice and even, so much so that when I passed the pipe back and forth with a friend, we didn’t often have to

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Details Where to find Tangie Power: Chronic Therapy, 1020 S. Broadway, Cortez, chronictherapy.co Price: $15 a gram Why we love it: It’s powerful, citrusy, and covered in trichomes.

That’s also why YOU’LL love it.

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relight the bowl. That, my friends, is a sign of well-cured bud.

And the taste. Holy crap, you guys.

The taste was so sweet, like an orange candy. I don’t know why I was surprised, given that the entire container smelled like sticky sweet orange marmalade, but I was. Ain’t nothin’ like being surprised by the taste of weed in a good way.

I’m not gonna lie to you though. As sweet as the taste was, I still somehow coughed like I was in high school every time I took a hit. I didn’t mind, but I was a little amused by it. As someone who smokes what is probably entirely TOO MUCH cannabis, it always makes me chuckle to be knocked on my ass, even by the harshness of the smoke.

The effects, on the other hand, were anything but harsh. Like any good sativa, Tangie Power led me on a journey of creativity and mental alertness, two things that in tandem can lead a writer to some very good work. (I just screwed around and watched trash TV with a friend, but it COULD HAVE, had I not been so lazy.)

My brain was clear, my thoughts were streamlined, and I had a burst of creative energy that could and should have been channeled into productivity.

I would definitely grab this strain for those days when you have a metric shit ton of work to do and your motivation is at a -10. Tangie Power has harnessed all the creative power, and it’ll fix you right up, lazy pants. It won’t even give you the munchies. You’ll just be a stoned workin’ machine instead.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

*OAC 5.99% @ 144mo + TT&L

505.334.5500 CTRVaztec.com 4 miles west of Aztec, and 1.5 miles east of Flora Vista

Introducing

Rocky Road With KATIE BURFORD ?

Ice Cream shop owner, Katie Burford is answering your life questions.

Have one? Email rockyroad@dgomag.com

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 25, 2018 | 17

[beer]

First Draughts | Robert Alan Wendeborn

Drinking very old Ska beer to celebrate a milestone

I

recently turned 35, and unlike all previous ages, I certainly feel older every day.

My back is more sore, my feet have a mild case of plantar fasciitis, my hair is turning gray, and I get heartburn if there’s too much lime in a dish. And, to be fair, I am not being kind to myself. I drink too much, smoke too much, and worry too much. I don’t sleep enough, exercise enough, or healthy-eat enough. Like most things, the body needs to be cared for if you want it to last. Beer that you expect to keep, for cellaring or sentimental reasons, is no exception.

Aging beer is a sensitive subject for most brewers. For the most part, we want you to drink the beer immediately. We want you to drink it the day we filter it if you can. We understand that there is not a fountain to drink straight out of at the brewery and there is not a hose leading to the parking lot so you can fill your own growler. You have to wait til we put it in kegs, cans, and bottles. And after that’s done, we think you should drink it as quickly as possible, unless we build a beer that we think will age well. Higher alcohol, lower pH, lots of spices, hops, or adjuncts, and excessive aging before packaging are all things that can allow a beer to age well. Beers with low alcohol, quickly packaged, and with sensitive additives do not age well.

Likewise, the only reason my body isn’t completely falling apart is because I was healthy and active in my teens, twenties, and early thirties.

I’ve kept a lot of beers for cellaring and sentimental reasons. Shortly after my 35th birthday, I dipped deep into my cellar for the sentimental beer I put away from the first year I worked at Ska Brewing. I tasted Hi-Hop Ska Rye IPA, the 19th anniversary beer from my first year at Ska, Cru D’etat, a Belgian strong dark ale aged in an oak foudre for two years, also released in my first year at Ska, and Dementia, a blended bourbon barrel-aged Euphoria pale ale that I helped put in barrels while I was in the cellar and

Courtesy of Robbie Wendeborn

»» Robbie Wendeborn (right) selects hops during his last days working at Ska with now-head brewer Kurt Randall. released the next year.

Considering that Ska just celebrated their 23rd anniversary, the 19th Anniversary Hi-Hop Rye is four years old. If it were a human, it would be in preschool, wide-eyed and bushy tailed, in awe of the world. Since it is a beer, it was on its last leg. The best by date on this beer was smudged out, but I’m assuming it expired sometime in early 2015, making it at least 160 in beer years.

Even with all this stacked against it, it still wasn’t a terrible drinking experience. The hops, though long disappeared from the flavor profile, preserved the beer’s core rye malty goodness. I still got spiced plums and floral notes on the aroma (good rye characteristics). Sure, it had some dusty, extra-soft edges, but it was a well-made base beer that hung out well. If this had been an imperial rye IPA, it would have been amazing. This beer tastes how I feel when I do competitive athletic activities: I’m OK, I’ll live, but goddammit I need to get my fat ass in the gym and do some cardio.

The Dementia did not hold up well, on the other hand. There were obvious signs of brettanomyces (wild yeast, also called “brett” for short), oxidation, and a general mustiness that was not agreeable. The way the beer was made, a blend of new and old beer, dry hopped before and after barrel-aging, and the fact that the beer is now 4+ years old really contributes to its downfall. I tried it two years ago when I first moved to Louisiana and the brett character was just peaking through the faded hop notes. It was this beautiful caramel, fruity, slightly funky taste with a hint of wood and oxidation that was really cool and interesting. I should have drunk all of my bottles of Dementia right then. Now I have two bottles left that I’m terrified to open. This beer tastes the way I feel when I’m hungover and eating leftover hot dogs after a summer barbecue that turned into an all night drinkfest. I hate myself and my wasted youth.

The Cru D’etat was built to last, and last it did. This beer is aged for two years in oak foudres (basically a really

big oak barrel), 11.5 percent abv, and is aged with wild microbes that lower the pH of this beer, giving it a very pleasant tartness as well as providing a natural preservative. Even though this beer is 50 percent older than the other two beers, thanks to the time in oak foudres, it is 100 percent better.

The beer has a great candy aroma with cherry cordial, chambord, and a really sweet bourbon. The flavor was all Belgian candy, dark caramel, and really pleasant tartness riding the sweet notes. I remember drinking this beer fresh and thinking it was crazy tart and pretty out of balance. Now it is *chef’s kiss* perfect.

This beer tastes the way I imagine myself in two years: finally finding enough work-life balance to establish a good workout routine and finding the nerve to cut my hair. Aging gracefully to a balanced sense of maturity.

Robbie Wendeborn is the head brewer at Svendæle Brewing in Millerton, New York.

He is also a former beer plumber at Ska Brewing.

18 | Thursday, October 25, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening] DGO picks in and around Durango Dammit, Janet Take a step to the leeeeeft, and then a step to the riiiight, and get steamy with the characters of the cult classic interactive show, “The Rocky Horror Show,” for the 11th annual performance in Durango. Be sure to snag a $5 goodie bag so you can participate in throwing all sorts of fun shit onto the stage. However, most importantly, don’t be the only a$$hole not to show up in a costume.

Details: Oct. 26-31, The Rocky Horror Show, 8 p.m., $25, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., henrystratertheatre.com

Thursday

Station, 1101 Main Ave.

E. Third.

Beyond Words Art Exhibit, 10 a.m.,

Henderson Fine Arts Center - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-5663464.

Stooki Sound with Scoffa & Snarky and Brainspiders, 9 p.m.,

Clear the Clutter of Your Mind Meditation Weekend, 10 a.m., $0-

$15-$18, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, 970-799-2281.

$200, Smiley Building, 1309 E. Third Ave., 970-382-9593.

Anasazi Heritage Center Curation Tours, 2 p.m., Anasazi Heritage

Saturday

Durango Chamber Singers present ‘My Beloved is Mine’, 3

Center, 27501 Hwy 184, 970-882-5600.

Fall Sale, 9 a.m., Backcountry Experi-

Behind the Scenes Curation Tour, 2 p.m., Canyons of the Ancients

ence, 1205 Camino del Rio.

National Monument Visitor Center & Museum, 27501 Hwy 184.

Dia de los Muertos Paper Mache Skelton Building, 3:30 p.m., Pine

River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive.

Ostomy Support Group, 5 p.m., San

Juan Health Partners Conference Room, 407 South Schwartz Ave. 8 Week Mindful Self-Compassion and Inner Resilience, 5:30

Don’t miss this opportunity to dance your pants off and shimmy away this week’s muck and grime. Grime. Hip-hop. Electronic. Trap. This week’s Animas City Theatre show has a little bit of everything sprinkled into it, featuring acts from Stööki Sound, Scoffa & Snarky, and Brain Spiders.

Details: Oct. 26, Stooki Sound, 10 p.m., $15$18, Animas City Theatre, 128 E College Drive, animascitytheatre.com

$200, Smiley Building, 1309 E. Third Ave., 970-382-9593.

Metropolitan Opera: Live in Hd - Puccini La Fanciulla Del West,

11 a.m., $23-$26, Vallecito Room @ Fort Lewis College Student Union, 1000 Rim Drive.

Halloween Carnival, noon, tickets

New Hori-

Dance party alert

Clear the Clutter of Your Mind Meditation Weekend, 10 a.m., $0-

Trunk or Treat, 6 p.m.,

7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 970375-7260.

Details: Oct. 26, Full Moon Ghost Crawl, 9 p.m., $25, Durango Train Depot, 479 Main Ave., durangotrain.com

Awakening Joy Retreat, 9 a.m., $100-$200, scholarships are readily available, Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. Third.

12th Annual Three Springs Fall Festival, 11 a.m., Three Springs Plaza,

Live Music by Tim Sullivan,

All aboard for the Full Moon Ghost Crawl tour, which will take you to some of the most haunted spots along the Durango railroad. Led by staff at the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad museum, you’ll hear tales of spirits that still hang around the train cars, tracks, and warehouse of the 137-year-old railroad. Be warned, though, this tour is not for the faint of heart. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll spot a specter along the way yourself!

Farmers Market, 259 W. Ninth Street.

p.m., $250-$450, reduced payment plan available, Smiley Building, 1309 E. Third Ave., 970-3829593.

The River Church, 860 Plymouth Drive.

Derailed spirits

Truckley Howe, 9 a.m., Durango

zons, 7 p.m., $0-$15, Fort Lewis College

Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

175 Mercado Street, 970-764-6000.

Yoga & Brews, 11 a.m., $15, WildEdge

Brewing Collective, 111 N. Market St. $.25 each and games range from 1-6 tickets, costume contest $1/4 tickets, San Juan College Health and Human Performance Center, 4601 College Blvd.

Be Frank Foundation’s 6th annual Frank n’ Stein Fundraiser,

noon, Mill Street in front of Bottom Shelf Brewery, 118 Mill Street.

Special Presentation with Miss Indian World 2018 Taylor Susan,

1:30 p.m., Southern Ute Museum, 503 Ouray Drive.

Patrons’ Picks Matinee Movie,

p.m., $20, St. Mark’s Episcopal Church - Durango, 910 E. Third Ave., 970-2471129.

Live Music By The Blue Moon Ramblers, 5:30 p.m., Office Spiritori-

um, 699 Main Ave., 970-375-7260.

Hunter Jumper Spooktacular Horse Show, all day, La Plata County

Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave., 970-7495582.

Monday Matter Of Balance, 2:30 p.m., San Juan Regional Medical Center, 800 W. Maple.

Live Music by Joel Racheff, 7 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave., 970-247-4431.

Enjoy a Classic Movie on the Big Screen Every Monday Night!, 8

p.m., Pine River Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, 970-884-2222.

Tuesday Climate Change Solutions: Inspiration from Leaders in Climate Science and Action, noon,

$15, FLC students and employees and community students are free with ID, Fort Lewis College Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Halloween Booouldering Competition, 4:30 p.m., San Juan College

Health and Human Performance Center, 4601 College Blvd.

Live Music by Tim Sullivan, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 970375-7260.

Secret Circus Society Presents ‘Nightmares and Dreamscapes’ the Halloween of Your Dreams!,

2 p.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive.

8:30 p.m., $25-$75, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. Second Ave., 970-375-2568.

One Year Anniversary Party, 5

p.m., 11th Street Station, 1101 Main Ave.

Live Music by Greg Ryder, 5:30

Friday

Top o’Ticket DEMOCRATS in Town, 6 p.m., Powerhouse Science Cen-

p.m., Strater Hotel, 699 Main Ave.

Halloween Community Carnival, 4 a.m., $1-$5, Ignacio Senior Center,

ter, 1333 Camino del Rio, 970-259-9234.

15345 Hwy 172.

Fall Sale, 9 a.m., Backcountry Experi-

ence, 1205 Camino del Rio. Beyond Words Art Exhibit, 10 a.m.,

Henderson Fine Arts Center - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-5663464.

Boos and Brews, 6 p.m., Cortez Elks

Live Music by Bob Maccarni, 7 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 970-375-7260.

Farmington Cinematheque presents Eighth Grade, 7 p.m., $5,

Little Theatre - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-566-3430.

Halloween Bash with The StillHouse Junkies, 7 p.m., $5, WildEdge

Lodge, 2100 N. Dolores Road.

Brewing Collective, 111 N. Market Street.

Stillhouse Junkies, 6 p.m., Durango

Jazz on the Hill featuring Storm Large, 7:30 p.m., $25-$52, Fort Lewis

Crafts Spirit, 1120 Main Ave. #2.

Awakening Joy Retreat, 6:30 p.m.,

$100-$200, scholarships are readily available, Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. Third.

College Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Sunday

Chautauqua: The Indian New Deal in the Southwest, 7 p.m., Little

Fall Sale, 9 a.m., Backcountry Experi-

Theatre - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-566-3430.

Awakening Joy Retreat, 9 a.m.,

Pete Giuliani Trio, 7 p.m., 11th Street

ence, 1205 Camino del Rio. $100-$200, scholarships are readily available, Durango Dharma Center, 1800

Wednesday Halloween Trick-or-Treat, 5:30

p.m., Cortez Integrated Healthcare, 691 E Empire Street.

Live Music by Terry Rickard, 7

p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave., 970-375-7260.

Ongoing Henry Stoy, piano at 10:30 a.m. every Saturday and Sunday at Jean-Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave. Old west stage shows, held at 5:30 p.m. nightly throughout the summer at Bar D Chuckwagon, 8080 County Road 250. Cost is $12-$38 and reservations are preferred. To reserve, visit www. bardchuckwagon.com.

Submissions Submit events for the next week online by noon Monday at www. swscene.com. DGO publishes events

online and in print every Thursday.

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 25, 2018 | 19

DEALS

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To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504

Saturday Nov. 10, 2018 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

La Plata County Fairgrounds Join us for a day of workshops, self care, wellness, shopping, live entertainment, AND MORE.

Introducing our first ever all female Mountain Spirits Cocktail Competition!

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kids 12 and under

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S P O N S O R E D B Y:

esthetics

20 | Thursday, October 25, 2018 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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To advertise in DGO Deals contact us at 970-247-3504 ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 25, 2018 | 21

Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) This week, you are focused on financial matters and earnings. However, at a deeper level, you’re giving thought to your values and what really matters in life.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) The Moon is still in your sign. (You survived the Full Moon in your sign last week.) Ask the universe for a favor because you have a little bit of extra good luck this week.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You will enjoy working alone or behind the scenes this week because it feels better. By the weekend, you will be out there front and center, flying your colors.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

An interaction with a female friend could be significant for you this

week. This is a good week to share your hopes and dreams for the future with someone to get his or her feedback.

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) Personal details about your private life might be made public this week.

(People are talking about you.) You can handle this because you’re comfortable in the limelight.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) Do something different this week to shake up your routine because you want some adventure and stimulation! If you can travel somewhere, do so. Grab any chance to learn something new.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) Clean up red-tape details about taxes, debt, inheritances and shared property so that you can remove those nagging items from the back of your mind.

(They never go away on their own.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) Be psychologically prepared to go more than halfway when dealing with others this week because this is what you have to do. Be accommodating and helpful.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) It will give you pleasure to be of service to others this week. If you can be helpful to someone, you’ll find it rewarding and satisfying.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) This is a playful, prankish, romantic week! Enjoy fun activities with children as well as social diversions and parties.

Have fun!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) It will please you to cocoon at home

this week and have some quiet time just to yourself to do a little navel-gazing and think about things. (Life can go by in such a rush.)

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) When talking to others this week, you want to get down to the nitty-gritty of things. You don’t want to waste time in superficial chitchat – not this week.

BORN THIS WEEK You are affectionate, sympathetic and very persuasive. You take pride in being self-reliant. This year, exciting changes and beginnings await you as you begin a new cycle. Because what you start now will unfold in the future, it’s time to clarify your goals. It’s also time to take the initiative. Good news!

Your physical strength will increase this year. © 2018 King Features Syndicate Inc.

This is Halloween, this is Halloween God...but not ghosts Most Americans believe in the supernatural, but a lot more – 65 percent – believe in God, according to Pew Research Center. If you’re British, however, you are far more likely to believe in ghosts than God. We don’t get it either.

All the colors of the orb Did you know different colored orbs mean different things? Neither did we. Red or orange orbs signify the specter has a guardian role. White or silver orbs are thought to be trapped spirits. Green orbs are associated with positive things like nature or love. Blue orbs are believed to be spiritual guides and a calming presence, while gray or smoky ones may signify a depressed, fearful, or confused presence. Our question is, how do you tell the difference between the silver and gray orbs?

Ghosty jobs Ghost hunters saw a sharp peak in interest for paranormal investigations starting in the early 2000s, after TV shows like Most Haunted and Ghost Hunters came out and high-tech equipment became more available. We just want to know how we can become ghostbusters, er, paranormal investigators. Really, we just want the proton packs.

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[happening]

Hell yeah, it’s Halloween »» Haunted houses, asylums, and other creepy events across the Four Corners Just call us your Halloween event planners, or like, Halloween administrative assistant or something, cause we’ve got all your plans lined out for this year’s festivities. Just see below for proof.

Dr. Skyler’s House of Horrors

October 31, 8 p.m. to midnight, $50, 601 E. Second Ave.

Whut, whut! Who doesn’t like a good ol’ fashioned haunted house on a college campus? Have you never seen a scary movie?! College campuses and Greek houses are prime pickings for psycho killers, monsters, and murder-y creatures of all sorts. And, not only will you get your fill of scares at Dr. Skyler’s House of Horrors, your hard-earned, and harder-spent money will ALSO go to a great cause, because the proceeds will benefit Four Corners Rainbow Youth Center and the continuation of the haunted house. Just keep your eyes out for the dudes with the chainsaws.

Nothing good comes from that.

Halloween with DJ Bad Goat Want to have a chilly, boozy Halloween WITHOUT some ax murderer chasing you through the hallway of a haunted house? SAME. And, if that’s the case, maybe you should stop by 11th Street Station for a Halloween dance party with DJ Bad Goat instead. There will be drink specials, dorks in costumes (us included), and the only scary thing at the bar will be your dance moves.

Information: Halloween with DJ Bad Goat, October 31, 7-10 p.m., 11th Street Station, 1101 Main Ave.

Information: Fort Lewis College’s Annual Haunted House, October 24-25, 6-10 p.m., $5 for community members, free for students, Student Union Ballroom, 1000 Rim Drive.

Rocky Horror Picture Show Ohhh, Rocky! Brad and Janet (dammit, Janet, we love you) had no idea what they were walking into when their tire went flat in the STRANGEST part of Texas to have ever existed. The story of their foray into the world of Dr. Frank N. Furter, a self-proclaimed “sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania,” is one of the most beloved cult classics to have ever graced the screen, and you can be part of that craziness this Halloween at Henry Strater Theatre, because they’re throwing a Rocky Horror party just for you. Costumes are encouraged and so are props for you virgins.

Nightmare on Elk Street Getting scared silly is never NOT fun, but it’s especially fun when it’s getting scared silly to benefit local causes, which is precisely what Nightmare on Elk Street is. Each year, the Nightmare on Elk Street “house” looks terrifyingly different, and this year is no exception, so head on over and you’ll be walking into...well, no one knows. You’ll have to find out fo’ yourself.

Information: Nightmare on Elk Street, October 27-31, 6-10 p.m., $7, Durango Colorado Elks Lodge, 901 E. Second Ave.

Dr. Q’s Asylum Dr. Q’s doesn’t want to be responsible for your kids’ nightmares – this place is NOT kid friendly – but they do want to be responsible for YOUR haunted dreams. This haunted house, held at Sunray Casino in Farmington, is the stuff Hannibal Lecter’s nightmares are made of, yet there’s a bright side to this madhouse. The asylum’s proceeds will go to supporting San Juan County Special Olympics, which is a pretty darn cool thing to do, especially for a buncha psychotic doctors and patients who live to scare you.

Courtesy of Durango Arts Center

»» Ballet Folklorico will perform at Festival de los Muertos Nov. 1

Information: Dr. Q’s Asylum at Sunray’s Haunted Stables, Friday, October 26-27 from 8:00 p.m. to midnight, October 30-31 from 7-10 p.m., $5-$10, Sunray Park and Casino, 39 Road 5568, Farmington, NM.

Cemetery Tour Cemetery tours! There is nothing scarier than a creepy ass old cemetery, which is...you know, the point of this tour. You’ll be lookin’ for ghosts of Halloween past while on foot, armed with only a flashlight and some historical knowledge to get you through. Just

remember to hold your breath in the cemetery so you don’t breathe in any rogue spirits. That’s a thing, you know.

Information: Ghost Walk Durango’s Cemetery Tour, October 27 & 31, 7:30 p.m., $50, age limit 14 and up, Ghost Walk Durango, 201 E. 12th, ghostwalkdurango. com.

Halloween Beyond the Bookcase Just behind the bookcase (and barber) sits a pretty darn cool Halloween party at Bookcase and Barber.

There will be music by MTN Menace, costumes, contests, and creepy, killer cocktails and appetizers, just for YOU. And you. And you. And everyone else, til the count gets to 60, cause that’s all they’re lettin’ in to this jam. Soooo, get your tix early or be stuck outside with all the basic ass zombies. Your call.

Information: Halloween Beyond the Bookcase,

Information: Rocky Horror Show, October 26 at 8 p.m., October 27 at 7 and 10 p.m., October 28 at 8 p.m., and October 31 at 8 p.m., $25, 699 Main Ave., henrystratertheatre.com/events

Festival de los Muertos All right, so this TECHNICALLY isn’t a Halloween event, cause Dia de los Muertos, which we hope you’re aware of, isn’t about Halloween. It’s Day of the Dead, which is...a time to celebrate the dead. Pretty obvious. But what isn’t obvious is that it’s not morbid or morose; it’s a time when bright colors, beautiful flowers, AND skeleton remains are celebrated.

Remembering the dead is muy importante in most of Latin America, and you can join in on the cultural celebration of life and death in Durango this year, because there’s a Festival de los Muertos right in your own backyard, and it will feature local Ballet Folklorico, Hispanic and Latino musicians, traditional artists and food vendors, and tons of activities. We’re beyond in.

Information: Festival de los Muertos, November 1, 4-10 p.m., $5, Durango Arts Center, 802 E. Second Ave., durangoarts.org/festival-de-los-muertos

��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, October 25, 2018 | 23