Skin Deep by Ballantine Communications

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, November 22, 2018

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SKIN DEEP Local tattoo artists on what life is like behind the needle

Also: The art of a good tattoo, Burger Boy Drive In, and a review of Brain OG

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MAY YOU BE FILLED WITH GRATITUDE AND PIE THIS THANKSGIVING. Thanks for reading and supporting DGO magazine.

DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 4 Number 4 Thursday, November 22, 2018

Editor

Bright Eyes

Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551

Burger Boy

We love this sweet piece of Dia de los Muertos-inspired art created by the folks over at Black Mountain Tattoo in Cortez.

Staff writer Amanda Push apush@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko

Eat 4

What the Fork 5

Sound

Downtown Lowdown

Odd Rot

Contributors

Visual

Katie Burford

Art of a Good Tattoo

375-4553

Katie Cahill Bryant Liggett

Jon E. Lynch Lindsay Mattison Robert Alan Wendeborn

Black Mountain Tattoo

17 Weed

Design/layout

Colossal Sanders 375-4570

Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising David Habrat

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

Getting our fill at Burger Boy Burger Boy Drive In had been packed every time I’d driven by it, and it seemed like all of the Internet raved about Burger Boy’s burger prowess. Still, it seemed wise to take their collective opinions with a grain of salt.

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DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

Worst Tattoo Stories 9 Bad Tattoo Contest 10-11

Patty Templeton

Reader Services

The art of a badass tattoo

19 Happening

18 Living for live resin Chronic Therapy sent over Bubbleberry 99 and Nitro Cookies live resin for us to review and we decided to dig into those two sugary bad boys. Then we overslept because...weed.

Every tattoo artist has a unique way of sinking their needle into someone’s skin, but most artists work with the same goals in mind: to make the customer happy and create a good piece of art.

Tell us what you think! Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

Reviews 17-18

20 DGO Deals 22 Horoscope/ puzzles 23 Visual

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ON THE COVER The tat work of Bill Peoples at Animas Tattoo & Body Piercing. Colossal Sanders for DGO

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[eat]

Burger Boy Drive In is no Whataburger, but it’ll do The little burger joint in Cortez had great reviews across the board on Yelp, but I still couldn’t muster up much hope for my food as we pulled into the parking spot that would serve as our “table” at Burger Boy Drive In. This spot, right off the main drag in Cortez, had been packed every time I’d driven by it, and to be fair, it seemed like all of the Internet raved about Burger Boy’s burger prowess. Still, it seemed wise to take their collective opinions with a grain of salt. A good burger, while perhaps simple in appearance, is hard to find, and I am particular and judgmental, especially about my fast food burgers. Part of the issue is that I grew up in Texas, the land of Whataburger, a Lone Star fast food treasure that has over the years seeped into other parts of the country, including Albuquerque. Because Whataburger was the go-to

in my state, I grew up believing a good fast food burger should have a thin patty, lots of mustard and fresh onion, iceberg lettuce, pickles, cheese, and a buttery grilled bun. And, if possible, I should be offered spicy ketchup in a tiny plastic tub for my fries. I knew I wasn’t going to get spicy ketchup at a place like Burger Boy, because as much as I tried, I could not wish it into becoming a Whataburger. And, all other attempts to find a copycat in this area – Blake’s Lotaburger included – haven’t even come close to touching my beloved burger abode. So, while the Internet may think Burger Boy was the burger bomb, I was not so sure. Maybe I should start trusting ye old Internet, though, cause to be frank, this place was pretty delicious. I should have been less tepid.

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But, to be fair to, well, me...the entire setup of Burger Boy is unlike anything I’m used to. There isn’t a drive-thru speaker or a window at this place. It’s an old school drive-in, and when you pull up, you’re greeted by a huge marquis menu boasting malts, burgers, and burritos, and a waitress – not a touch screen or speaker – takes your order on a paper pad. You can choose to “dine in” with your food, or you can get it to go in a bag. We opted for the latter. I’d read good things about the jalapeño burger, so I went for that with a side of fries, while my friend ordered the green chili burger – as one does in the Southwest – and a malt.

Angelica Leicht/DGO Mag

»» Awww, yeah. A jalapeño burger from Burger Boy Drive In in Cortez, and some baller ass crinkle fries. Livin’ life on a high note.

Our food arrived quickly, and it was clear it had come straight from the kitchen once we lifted it out of the bag. That stuff was lava-level hot. We quickly shoveled a few fries into our mouths, and while they weren’t served up with spicy ketchup, the folks at Burger Boy did throw in a few packets of fancy ketchup as a solid. The fries really didn’t need them, though – they were just salty and crispy enough to stand on their own. And, as a bonus, they were crinkle fries, my freaking fav. Our burgers were equally as solid. I was stoked – STOKED – to find that the patty on my burger was thin and crispy, and my bun was clearly tossed onto the grill before being sent my way. The only issue was that I’d been promised by the Internet hordes that this burger had fresh jalapeños on it, and these were definitely pickled.

That’s not Burger Boy’s fault, though. That’s the fault of the Internet for lying to me. My friend was equally as pleased with her burger and malt. She wolfed both down with the quickness, only pausing to tell me how spicy the green chili was between gulps. It looked good based on the split second I had to catch a glance of it, but I cannot attest to the taste, as she ate it before I could even ask to share. You won’t find anything fancy at Burger Boy, and it isn’t quite Whataburger, but it’s certainly become a top-notch drive-thru contender in my book. The burgers were fresh, wellmade, and so tasty, and it’s pretty cool to order with a server while just chillin’ in your car. It’s a spot that’s definitely worth a stop in, or even a drive to, Cortez. We dug it. —— Angelica Leicht

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[eat]

What the Fork | Lindsay Mattison

Burritos, waffles, and other life hacks for holiday leftovers

t happens every year. Despite my best efforts of eating two (or, ahem, three) servings, there are still so many Thanksgiving leftovers. Before I drift away into a food-induced coma, I always do my future self a favor and save everything. I might not want it now, but I’ll be thanking past Lindsay as soon as I mow down a slice of pecan pie for breakfast (with or without the ice cream, I’m not here to judge). Really, I save the leftovers for my favorite meal, a garlic mashed potato and gravy sando. It would feel like a starch-on-starch crime if it wasn’t for the addition of turkey and cranberry sauce. As delicious as it is, that’s a oncea-year sandwich. By dinnertime on Black Friday, I find myself gazing at all the Tupperware in the fridge and begging for something that isn’t another version of my Thanksgiving meal. Luckily, there are some creative ways to re-purpose what’s leftover and have fun cheffin’ it up. They won’t all turn out to be winners, but they’re all munchie approved, so maybe check out a strain review first, just in case.

Taco taco, burrito burrito Is there anything you can’t turn into a taco? Any sandwich somehow tastes better when it’s folded up in a tiny tortilla. Probably because tacos are nature’s most perfect food: small, hand-held, and ultimately customizable. If you must, you could super-size your taco and make it a burrito (which are just larger, harder-

to-eat tacos). being said, it certainly Anything from wouldn’t hurt to toss the Thanksgiving a jar of salsa into table would make the mix. At the a great taco: very least, a drizturkey with zle of Sriracha. cranberry salsa, Cassesausage stuffing roles breakfast tacos with cilantro-lime sour cream, sweet I’m thinkin’ potato casserole and shepherd’s pie, black beans with guabaked ziti, creamy turkey tetrazzini, or vegcamole, loaded mashed Courtesy of Tim Kapustka etable gratins. Use any topped with potatoes »» When in doubt, everyrandom vegetables and bacon and cheddar, thing can become a soup. apple pie dessert bake them with some tacos… Now that I cheese and garlicky think about it, I might skip Thanksbreadcrumbs and it’ll probably taste amazing. If you want to go next level, giving all together and just celebrate make it saucy by adding pesto, tomato Tacogiving. sauce, alfredo-style cream sauces, or Waffles a can of cream-of-whatever soup. Any leftover fresh herbs will add a punch This might sound like a total stoner of flavor and make everything taste meal, but you can put leftover stuffing uber fresh again. into a waffle iron to make stuffing waffles. Top it off with cranberry Bowls of any variety sauce, gravy, and turkey for a fun and funky take on last night’s dinner. You Anything eaten in a bowl instantly can do the same thing with mashed becomes comfort food. So why not potatoes, but you’ll have to add eggs whip up some pasta, rice, or quinoa and flour to get them to stay together. and use it as the base of your leftover bowl? You could also go ramen-style Pizza, nachos, and by adding water to your gravy. Boil quesadillas an egg, dice an avocado, or throw in a spoonful of hummus before you garWhat do these three things have nish it with a few green onions. Easy! in common? Cheese, cheese, and more cheese. There’s nothing like Soup smothering dry leftovers in melty cheese to breathe new life into them. When in doubt, everything can You don’t even really need a sauce become a soup, stew, or chili. If you to pull this off (mashed potatoes as save the turkey neck or carcass, you a pizza “sauce?” Yes, please!). That can even make an incredible broth as

the soup’s base. Add canned beans to leftover turkey to make chili, or puree sweet potato casseroles with cream until they’re smooth and delicious, or keep things chunky and add barley, couscous, pasta, or wild rice to create a stew.

Breakfast Anything can become a hash if you chop it up into small pieces. It’s the perfect way to transform those boring leftovers into something you’d like to eat again. Chop up your turkey, toss in some stuffing, and add in any leftover vegetable sides. Then, #putaneggonit to make your Instagram friends instantly jealous. If it sounds like too much work, mix those eggs with milk or cream and turn the whole thing into a frittata.

Turn to the deep fryer If all else fails, ball up your food, dredge it in breadcrumbs, and deep fry it until it’s golden brown (GBD, every time). It works for everything. Just toss the leftovers in the food processor with eggs and cheese and roll them in breadcrumbs. If you don’t think you can pull it off, wrap ’em in wonton or egg roll wrappers, or make pierogi dough for dumplings. Gravy and cranberry sauce make excellent dipping sauces. Lindsay D. Mattison is a professional chef and food writer living in Durango. She enjoys long walks in the woods, the simplicity of New York-style cheese pizza, and she’s completely addicted to Chapstick. Contact her at lindsaymattisonwriter@ gmail.com.

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[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Jerry Joseph on Widespread Panic and conflict guitars

usician Jerry Joseph is refreshingly honest about his music career. He’s an independent rocker on the fringes of the jam band and indie rock world, always forthcoming with self-reflecting honesty. He’s not where he would like to be when it comes to his career, and, that’s okay. His fans really dig him, and he’s managed to do things his own way for decades. He’s a musician with strong opinions about everything – Trump, globalization, fundamentalism, and the Taliban. He’ll let you know his opinion on the jam band musicians who won’t call out their Trump-supporting fans out of fear that they’re biting the

hand that feeds them. He also takes on the critics who refuse to see beyond his work with Widespread Panic or his old drug-related demons. Joseph’s music career stems back to the 1980s, when he first started as a member of the band Little Women. In the decades since, he’s been a solo performer and made a name for himself with his band, Jerry Joseph & The Jackmormons. His ties with Widespread Panic may, on the surface, label him a jam band guy, but there’s a lot more depth than meandering solos. Joseph is a singer-songwriter at heart, but delivers his songs in a harder package. He’s also got a soft spot for kids in rough areas of the world. A few years back, he started traveling to war torn

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areas to give out guitars to kids, hoping in part that children in the Middle East would find interest in electric guitars rather than weapons. “We’re going to take a year down,” Joseph said. “The idea was to really recharge what we’re doing. My band is playing better than they ever have. Every night I’m like, ‘Holy shit.’ The reason is because I’d like to spend more time with this conflict guitar thing.” The conflict guitar thing Joseph speaks of is his way of spreading art. He’s had the travel bug his whole life, and was playing shows in Israel amid waves of violence, but didn’t cancel and go home. He lined up rogue guitar classes in underground art schools across the Middle East instead, and then word spread. He’s since done the conflict guitar thing in Lebanon, Israel, and Afghanistan, with plans to expand further in the future. “I don’t know if anybody needs a guitar, but they were really into it. And my whole point (was), ‘I’ll show you how to play guitar because that’s what I do.’ I could make the argument that the guitar saved my life, or my mother will tell you that, but it doesn’t have to be a guitar,” said Joseph. “It could be dance shoes, or

GO! Tuesday: Rock music with Jerry Joseph & The Jackmormons, 8 p.m., $15/$17. Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. Information: 7992281. water colors, or clay, or anything. Once you think differently like that, they can’t take it away from you.” Still, Joseph is keenly aware that the role of a social activist musician is self-serving, and a musician may get a boost in record sales because they’ve put some time and effort into a cause. But ultimately, it’s good for others, and good for the future of music, too. A kid who benefits from Joseph’s “thing” may take up music and add a little more to the sound of the world. “I’ve been to enough of the world now that a kid with a guitar anywhere ends up having their own interpretation of rock and roll, and I imagine the future of music, the future of rock and roll is going to come out of places like that,” he said. Jerry Joseph & The Jackmormons will return to Durango on Tuesday at Animas City Theatre. Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

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[Odd Rot, by Patty Templeton]

Stop in today for some turkey day treats! And be sure to come back for Green Friday Deals!

Burn Your Village to the Ground Patty Templeton thinks Thanksgiving celebrates the suffering of Native Peoples. She wants you to consider donating to the Native American Rights Fund at narf.org.

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[visual]

Local artists’ best approaches to giving their clients a good tattoo Every tattoo artist has a unique way of sinking their needle into someone’s skin. Different styles. Different focuses on detail. Different interpretations. Still, most artists work with the same goals in mind: to make the customer happy and create a good piece of art. We spoke to local artists about what they believe is the best approach to give someone a good tattoo. Be up front with the customer. Listen to the customer. Find out what the customer cares about. There are moving parts that need to be in sync so that the customer and the artist will both be happy with the work after they part ways. Here are their thoughts on what goes into the art of a decent tattoo.

what they want. On the bigger pieces, you are really trying to tell the story that they’re wanting to put out there. So it has a lot to do with communication and being able to design what someone is asking for, because everyone wants something awesome. Matt Blachley (Skin Incorporated Tattoo and Body Piercing): A lot of guys pull your tattoo out in one session. I’m more like, I want to get your tattoo 90-95 percent done (in the first session). I want to get most of your colors in there and then when you come back in that second session, that’s when I do all the final details when your skin’s not swollen, weepy, and pushing fluid out and you’re not in pain. Then we can do all the finishing touches. That’s just how I like to work. Bill Peoples (Animas Tattoo & Body Piercing): To give them what they want. It’s art and art is perspective so something that you may find beautiful, I may find offensive. And that’s how art should make you react. Obviously, give them what they’re looking for. Understanding clearly what the client wants and crafting their design around that.

Robert Smith (Black Mountain Tattoo): It’s definitely referencing stuff. A lot of times if you’re really into the tattoo, you’re gonna have fun with it, and that makes a difference. But I enjoy most styles. … If I’m gonna sit down and draw and paint, I do lean toward the American traditional. But then, as far as tattooing goes, I like all different styles. Like doing the Japanese flowy stuff. But traditional is always fun, though – just bright and bold stuff. Nice straight, big, bold, thick lines. Doug Patrum (Durango Tattoo Company): I think the most important element is communication – the artist being able to understand what you’re going for. I think the key is communication and a solid consultation, meaning sit down with your inspirations. People have ideas of what they want and nine times out of ten they’ve seen something that inspires them. We sit down with a picture of the body part and the client tells me what they want and what it’s about. If it’s something small, they just already know what they want and you just do

The Hippies Have Moved!

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»» CLOCKWISE FROM BOTTOM LEFT: Skin Incorporated Tattoo & Body Piercing; Bill Peoples, Animas Tattoo & Body Piercing; Black Mountain Tattoo; Graceful Eye; Durango Tattoo Company.

Joshua Barela (Graceful Eye Tattoo): Just taking their approach to something and just guiding them into a direction of more of the art aspect or the painting aspect of it. I try to keep it in my mind of what’s going to be created instead of putting something out there that’s just a bunch of flash where someone can just say, ‘Oh, let me get that.’ I don’t feel like that’s a tattoo. That’s just a flash piece that’s on you. It’s not a part of you. It’s not something that came from your mind and my mind. It’s something that you picked out and went for because that’s what you were attracted to. —— Amanda Push

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»» CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: Robert Smith got a tattoo of a gumball machine in honor of his son. Some of the most meaningful tattoos Flip Martinez has are on his neck. An artist who goes by Tech9ne gave Robert Smith what he refers to as his coolest tattoo, this skull. Getting tattooed near his fingernails was the most painful tattoos Joshua Barela has experienced.

BENEATH THE SKIN »» Local tattoo artists

It’s hard to imagine a tattoo artist who isn’t in tattoos. Just try it. Can’t do it? reveal their most covered Neither can we. meaningful, quirky, or Tattoo artists are usually covered nearly just plain worst tattoos from head to toe in an amalgam of colorful ink, and local artists are no exception. Graceful Eye owner Joshua Barela estimated that tattoos cover nearly 80 percent of his body – he’s even got a few face tattoos. Unfortunately, like the rest of us, artists are just as likely to end up inked with a crappy tattoo or two on their journey to canvas their bodies in color, but they also have a lot of quirky and heartfelt stories just beneath the surface. This week, we asked them to tell us those stories. Matt Blachley (Skin Incorporated Tattoo and Body Piercing): I got a gargoyle on the back of my leg that wasn’t done in a shop, so it’s not great. ... I think I was like 16 (years old). … Maybe I’ll get it covered one day. It’s hard when you’re a tattoo artist because you’re very picky on who’s going to tattoo you. I got my first when I was 14 (years old) and that kind of sparked it all. I started to draw a lot and got more into tattoos.

Photos by Amanda Push/DGO Mag

»» “Self Made” is scrawled on Matt Blachley’s fingers.

self-taught, meaning trial and error and tons of crap. Just about everything I have is a cover-up in some way or another. ... I just started doing tattoos. I got one and was like, ‘Oh yeah, that’s for me! How do you do that?’ So I hooked up a little homemade tattoo rig and started hooking myself up with free tats, and that’s what they were worth.

Robert Smith (Black Mountain Tattoo): As far as my best tattoo that I got, technical wise, is probably this little skull. It’s really solid and done really well. He (the artist) goes by Tech9ne, and his name does not fit at all because he’s some long bearded, real hipster, tall, skinny, white guy. He’s a really good artist. He’s out of Chandler, Arizona.

Flip Martinez (Animas Tattoo & Body Piercing): It’s kind of a convenient thing usually, when you actually sit down to get tattooed. You get busy. It’s one of those Murphy’s Law things. So half the time you don’t get to finish them. A lot of times you don’t even get to start them, so you just do it when you can sometimes. And, of course, we’re always the worst when it comes to finishing them, because everything on me is pretty much is unfinished.

Doug Patrum (Durango Tattoo Company): Crappy tattoos? On me? Tons of them. Pretty

Joshua Barela (Graceful Eye Tattoo): I got this one up here one time that said, ‘Trust no bitch, fear

no man.’ That was about the only one I think I regretted, and that was just because you can’t put the same thought on everybody, like ‘Everybody is the same,’ or, ‘Everybody is this,’ or, ‘Everybody is that.’ There’s really great people in the world. It takes a lot to get to a mature level of thought (to figure out) the way things are going and why things are going that way, and what did you yourself do to put in that situation Bill Peoples (Animas Tattoo & Body Piercing): I had it lasered off. In fact, the before and after pictures are in my portfolio. It’s my entire chest, shoulder to shoulder, sternum to throat. Seven and a half hours worth of work. I stood up, looked in the mirror, and the wings were on my angel backward. That was the shittiest. —— Amanda Push

�� Thursday, November 22, 2018 | 9

[visual]

»» Type O tattoos, foot flowers,

and a juggalo journey from hell We called and you answered, dear readers – like sailors to a siren’s call. Except unlike deadly mermaids, we won’t drown you in any bad decision sorrows. Like your friendly snark counselors, we just want to help. We want you to lay back on our proverbial couch and tell us your terrible tattoo stories so we can help you. Give us all the nitty gritty inside info on your regretful tattoos and we’ll return the favor with a chance to change your luck with either a free cover-up with Robert Smith of Black Mountain Tattoo in Cortez or a free consultation and two free laser removal sessions with Durango Dermatology. The choice is yours. Look at you, finally making good decisions.

»» Anndi J. Crawford, “Believe in yourself.”

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Type O tattoo blues “When I was in first grade I lived in NW Indiana. Following a military protocol of the period (Korean War) the local school districts decided to have the blood type of each student tattooed on their left sides. They decided to do half the class the first day, the other half the next. My name, being as it started with M, put me I in the second days batch. The first kids all came back to the classroom crying. “Screw this!” I thought to myself, so next morning I faked being sick. (My Mom always fell for it.) I came back to school on day three thinking I’d pulled off the slickest scam since John Dillinger broke out of a local jail with a gun made from a bar of soap....But no! They were waiting for me! A nurse who stood taller than Lebron James led me to the nurses office, where upon I spied a big gun that looked like a giant power drill. On it was a fiendish batch of needles in the shape of “O+”. I was then told to pull up my shirt....I was

feeling nervous. She then had me put my arm around her neck and “OW!!!!!!” I got stabbed by the big tatoo gun. Hurt? You bet it hurt! But I now had “O+” on my left side, just like a soldier in the US Army. So, if I got wounded in Korea (they might draft 6 year olds) the M.A.S.H. Doctors would know my blood type. Or, if I got hurt on the asphalt playground, fell off the war surplus galvanized steel pipe monkey bars, etc. the nurse would know, too. That was 1950. The tatoo is still there and is mostly just a smudge. Most people don’t believe this could happen, but my older sisters and I all stand as witnesses, and if you do a Google you can read about how Indiana tattooed it’s kids in 1950.” — Jerry McGeorge

Military madness “This is what happens when you’re in the military and a friend says let’s get a tattoo.” — Ryan Hurley

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10 | Thursday, November 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

CONTEST ALERT: We’ll help you get rid of your bad tattoo Are you trying to get rid of your hideous art work? Maybe you’re tired of staring at that hideous spider with the mutant legs and want to win a consultation and two FREE laser removal sessions from Durango Dermatology? Or, perhaps you just want to cover it up with something cooler? Well, how about a FREE badass cover-up from Robert Smith at Black Mountain Tattoo in Cortez? »» FROM LEFT: Bianca Keck’s “Penile fish.” Beau Duran’s “ICP ink.” Crystal Robson’s “Foot flower fail.” To see the rest, head to DGOmag.com

Strater skin sesh “I got my first tattoo when I was 15 by a visiting artist. She was doing them out of a room in the Strater Hotel. I had a fake ID. Fortunately, it is not my least favorite. That one was pretty much done in a basement and has already been covered up.”

thing for my now 5 children. I don’t even want to wear sandals because of this ugly thing! I would like to just have it removed because I would rather not be reminded of this hard time period in my life and I don’t think the location, my foot, allows for color to actually stay very long.” — Crystal Robson

— Kim Grote-Woodson

ICP ink “Was young and dumb and thought it would be just so awesome to get a tattoo for cheap and at a friend’s home. Was a very costly mistake as the guy didn’t clean his equipment properly and ended up with a bad staff infection. If I win I would love to get the cover up since I think Robert Smith is an amazing artist and person.”

Don’t believe (in a random tattoo artist) “I want a bad ass cover up! I know Robert can fix this catastrophe of a tattoo. So, I decided on a whim to get a tattoo from someone I did not know or trust... and the lines came out crooked and squiggly, the color did not take, and it just was BAD. I dont want it gone, just want a cover up!” — Anndi J Crawford

— Beau Duran

Penile fish

Foot flower fail “Here is my tattoo that I absolutely hate. I got it when I was going through my divorce in 2010. This guys girlfriend convinced me gonna be him do it. I don’t want to call him out but this tattoo is horrible! It was suppose to be 3 flowers, one for each of my children, but the color is very faded, lines are bad and I just think it is embarrassing. Someday I will get some-

“I had gotten this when I was 18. By a ex’s parent haha. Had been meaning to get it covered up for over 10 years now. And they guy did not do a very well job. In pictures and in person it looks like a man genital part with scales haha.” (Editor’s note: Bianca is competing for the cover-up.)

You’re in luck cause we’re hooking you tf up and fixing your poor life decisions for you. If you want to win the laser sessions or cover-up, all you have to do is send us a photo, a short story about your crappy ink job, and tell us which prize you want to win in an email to editor@ dgomag.com. We’ll throw the bestworst stories and photos online each Thursday, our readers will vote, and the winners of the cover-up and laser sessions will be announced the week of January 13. Easy peasy...well, aside from the shame. That part we ain’t got no solution for. Guess you gotta live with it. /shrug

— Bianca Keck

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Amanda Push/DGO Mag photos

»» FROM LEFT: Matt Blachley’s tattoo of Johnny Cash flippin’ the bird. We dig. Flip Martinez, a tattoo artist at Animas Tattoo & Body Piercing. Robert Smith, the owner of Black Mountain Tattoo in Cortez. BELOW: The scar on Bill Peoples arm is framed by a puking man who cut Bill’s arm after a bachelor party gone wrong.

TATTOO ARTISTS AND THEIR TATTOOS »» Local tattoo artists on what life is like behind the needle By Amanda Push | DGO STAFF WRITER

ust above the long scar on Bill Peoples’ upper right arm is the image of a man keeled over and hurling up the contents of his stomach. Above the scar is a tattoo of a man holding a shotgun in the direction of the viewer, a woman spinning around a pole, and above that is the name of the strip club Peoples worked at for over nine years in Baltimore.

The scar is, in fact, handiwork sliced into Peoples’ skin by the puking man whose depiction is inked onto his arm – the two forever linked by an evening of strippers, heavy drinking, and a blade that sliced through Peoples’ biker jacket like butter. We don’t blink when we see artists covered from the neck down, or sometimes head to toe, when we walk into a tattoo shop. In fact, it’d be weird if they weren’t. We wanted to get a little more than, shall we say, skin deep, and find out more than just the images tattoo artists are inked with. We wanted to find out the stories behind their tattoos – whether it be a loved one long since passed, an ode to a favorite car, or a misbehaving best man at a bachelor party gone wrong.

Animas Tattoo & Body Piercing 640 Main Ave., Suite 200, Durango It was about to be a long night for Bill Peoples, but he didn’t know it yet. Amidst the blaring of Led Zeppelin, Peoples told us a story about the infamous wild night when he got the scar on his arm, which later led to his most interesting tattoo. He was working as a bouncer for a strip club at the time, and that evening, he was escorting the women to several parties, one of which was a bachelor party. Things started off normally, but quickly turned sour after the best man suddenly got handsy with one of the dancers’ orifices. The dancer, understandably pissed off at the unruly audience

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member, treated him to the back of her high heel, which was shoved into his neck. Peoples grabbed the perpetrator, hauled him to the door, and then tossed him outside. The man began puking, and Peoples returned to oversee the party where the dancers had “turned it up to an 11.” After a few more songs, they wrapped it up and quickly made their way back to their ride, where Peoples’ partner was waiting with the shotgun he’d dug up after he’d seen Peoples toss the best man out. As Peoples made his way to the car, his partner made a face that clearly indicated something was happening behind him. Out of the corner of his eye, Peoples saw the very inebriated man he had thrown out of the party. “I felt the back of my jacket move, but I didn’t know what had happened. We got in the van because he just fell on his face and f*cking started puking again, because he was a drunk piece of shit. We walked off and got in the truck, and we were a half-mile up the road when (one of the dancers) in the back seat goes, ‘You got a rip in your jacket.’” Sure enough, the man had torn a clean cut through Peoples’ thick cowhide biker jacket, with the blade slicing deep into his arm. “I’m driving and I look over just as she sticks her finger through the slice in my jacket. ... I pull over, pull the jacket

off and they’re like, ‘OH MY GOD!’” Peoples believes the assailant must have had a straight razor or box cutter to be able to slice through his jacket to the skin. He had four more shows he had to go to, though, before he could get to a doctor. So, like a badass, he tied his shirt around the gaping hole in his arm and made it clear at the rest of the shows that there was to be no more bullshit. “We didn’t have anymore problems that night, but it was a long night,” he said. He later got 13 stitches across his arm – the beginning of what would become the most intense story of a tattoo we’ve ever heard. Peoples had the puking man and his buddy with a shotgun tattooed around the scar once it healed. For Flip Martinez, the other tattoo artist at Animas Tattoo, ink serves as a detailed log of one’s life. “They are more like a diary of your life. ... I can tell you where I was when I got all the individual ones.” There isn’t one tattoo on him that he regrets, including the sketchy ones from his early days. “Some of the first ones I got probably weren’t in the most sterile environment because it was out of a house. Continued on Page 14

�� Thursday, November 22, 2018 | 13

[visual]

»» FROM LEFT: Doug Patrum, owner of Durango Tattoo Company, and his leg piece he is still working to finish. Patrum likes to get tattoos because he thinks they’re cool looking, not necessarily

From Page 13

It was a guy that was straight out of a penitentiary, so he was still using the old Bic pen and just that motor. It never got infected and I never got any weird diseases or anything. I’m sure it’s lucky because, you know, it’s not a proper sterile procedure.” Whether it was a bad tattoo or a terrible idea, they all mean something to Martinez, and are an account of important moments or people in his life. He has several memorial tattoos: a skull from a friend’s leather jacket after he died by suicide, the names Martinez and Gomez on his neck for his family, a tattoo for his mom, and so on. One of his favorites is a small, inconspicuous snail on his hand that guitarist Brent Hinds from the band Mastodon gave him after a long night of drinking. “We were in Albuquerque, me and

a friend of mine. After we saw him in a show ... We went back to the hotel room to tattoo him. There was a lot of whiskey involved ... and I was supposed to tattoo this deer on him and he was like, ‘You know, I feel kind of bad because I don’t really feel like getting tattooed now (because it was like 3:30/4 in the morning) but I do want this little thing on me.’ So he drew out this weird little snail and then I tattooed it on him and then he tattooed it on me and another friend. I was like, ‘So what’s the meaning behind this?’ And he goes, ‘So when your life is hectic and going kind of crazy, it’s just a reminder to take it slow.’”

Black Mountain Tattoo 43 E Main Street, Cortez When we first asked Robert Smith about his tattoos, one of the first things he told us is how he once had the face of Jesus inked into his arm.

It has since been covered up by the Statue of Liberty, as Smith joked that he had no idea what Jesus looked like, and that he essentially just had some random guy’s face on his arm. The first tattoo he ever got was a tribal design on his back when he was 15 years old. “I got that, then it was a little bit after that I started tattooing. I fell into it, kind of. My uncle had some equipment that he came across. Just started working on friends,” he said. Today, the owner of Black Mountain Tattoo – who has owned the shop since 2005 – has a vast array of tattoos: a bubble gum machine on his arm for his son nicknamed Bubba, a Japanese wishing jewel on his leg, and the Cadillac logo on his forearm (his favorite car). He once tattooed the outline of a panther on himself before using it as an excuse to practice the art of cover-ups. “We do a lot of cover-ups. A LOT of

cover-ups. There’s a lot of people out of home tattooers right now. So yeah, we do quite a few,” he said. One of the first tattoos he ever did was a cross on his ex-wife’s ankle. After that, he started tattooing his dad, who was one of the most willing canvases for Smith to practice on. While he prides himself on being versatile on his designs, he’s most drawn to the American traditional style, which is evident in the drawings and posters hanging on the walls in his downtown Cortez shop. As far as tattoos that he’s done that he feels iffy about, well, you’re always developing as an artist, he said. “As a tattooer, there’s always stressful moments in your career. Even though the client might be super pumped, there’s stuff as an artist you see and you think, ‘Oh, could have done something else.’ You’re always growing, too. I mean, you look at a tattoo I did two years ago, and if I did

14 | Thursday, November 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Amanda Push/DGO Mag photos

because they have meaning behind them. Josh Barela, the owner of Graceful Eye, estimates that he is 80 percent covered in tattoos; the inside of Black Mountain Tattoo in Cortez.

the same tattoo now I’d probably do something different with it.”

Graceful Eye Tattoo 666 E College Drive, #2, Durango Not unlike the name of his shop – Graceful Eye – and his shop address number – 666 – Joshua Barela’s tattoos cover far ends of the spectrum. “I don’t know how it happens, but it’s a part of me, I guess,” Barela said. On his neck are the pearly gates of heaven, crowned with three crosses in honor of his deceased grandparents. On his arm is a group of long-faced demons, presumably screaming from the fiery pits of hell. “I had a girlfriend leave me one time when I walked home with this (the demons). I shit you not. We were best friends and we didn’t fight over nothing. We were a good couple. I got this and she told me I needed Jesus,”

he said. Barela estimates that he’s about 80 percent covered in tattoos, and has a couple of small pieces on his face. “I feel like I get tattooed every time there’s a moment in my life, emotionally, I guess. It’s kind of a release. ... Just trying to feel alive,” he said. He’s got a dragon, Asian symbols, skulls, birds, playing card symbols, the bone structure on his hands (which he told us was the most painful of his tattoos), and upside down portraits on his legs that he does for practice. On his hand is a cover up of a sacred heart and some clouds that he got long ago. “It was for a girl. She was toxic so I put a gas mask over it,” he said. Barela – who has been tattooing for 14 years – is extremely detailed in his work, showing us an up-close tattoo of a chameleon that, had we not known was a tattoo, we might have thought was real.

“I try to tell people I like to work at least a minimum of six hours. I try not work under six hours, just because it takes a long time to build something up in layers, to get something structured enough to make sense. And then from there, you can do more layers and just bring it to be more powerful. But it takes a lot to get it to that stage,” he said.

Durango Tattoo Company 146 Sawyer Drive, Durango Doug Patrum’s favorite tattoo is an unfinished piece that goes all the way up his leg – a cobra ready to strike, surrounded by lightning and flying birds. Patrum, the owner of Durango Tattoo Company, doesn’t go after tattoos that derive great meaning. He just wants his to look cool, like his cobra. “I wouldn’t say so much meaningful. I think a tattoo just has to look

good. A lot of people get tattoos with a meaning behind them, you know, milestones. ... And then there are people like me who think they got to look cool. So, it’s mostly imagery, and you can put stories to anything after you have them,” Patrum said. Patrum has been tattooing for about 20 years now, and got into the craft after getting his first tattoo at the age of 19. He was immediately drawn to the atmosphere and started practicing on himself. “(I’m) pretty self-taught, meaning just trial and error. Tons of crap. Just about everything I have is a cover-up in some way or another. ... It was mostly scratch pad stuff. Me figuring out how to use the equipment. Just like any medium, you have to figure out how the tool interacts with the canvas. ... It’s hard to put a fine point on, which one was the crappiest but Continued on Page 16

�� Thursday, November 22, 2018 | 15

Durango Diaries Season 2

[visual]

Tuesday, Nov. 27 • 6 p.m. Florida Grange - 656 CO 172, Durango Storytellers include: Daniel & Hana Fullmer founded Tierra Vida Farm in 2015 after working on various farms and learning from expert farmers. In 2017, Hana Fullmer began helping run the farm. Prior to farming, she worked as a practicing functional medicine nutritionist.

J. Paul Brown has been a rancher all his life and is know for his sheep that get herded through Bayfield twice a year. He has held numerous public offices, including that of state representative.

Amanda Push/DGO Mag

»» The inside of Black Mountain Tattoo in Cortez. From Page 15

Kate Greenberg is the Western Program Director for National Young Farmers Coalition where she organizes young farmers, advocates for supportive policy and promotes land, water and climate stewardship.

they were what they were,” he said. These days, he lives by the borrowed Chinese proverb: “Man who tattoos self has fool for client.” Many of those tattoos from the early days are now covered up – they’re a distant memory for Patrum. He’s got an ink machine on his forearm in honor of his 13th anniversary of tattooing, tribal tattoos with eyes watching from within the black ink, skulls, and a tenor clef tattooed onto his finger as a wedding ring. “I think my coolest tattoo is the one I’m designing now that I’m going to have the guy and the girl that work here do for me. It’s pretty involved to take up all of the skin that I don’t have tattooed already. ... All the unclaimed territory,” he said.

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Letters spelling “self made” are inked into Matt Blachley’s hands, and it’s fitting. He got his first tattoo, which he still has, when he was 14, and he hasn’t looked back since. The California native has been living in Durango for ten years now, and has been tattooing for 18 years. On the day we visit Blachley’s shop, he was working on a large cover-up for a customer – a service he feels morally obligated to do when people come to him for help. “People come to you when you have a certain skill set. I always try and

pride myself on cover-ups and just working with people,” he said. Blachley’s skin is flecked with tattoos, though the last time he had any artwork done was about five years ago. Among his trove is Johnny Cash on his arm giving the world the finger (his favorite); references to California – the state he grew up in; brass knuckles for the mixed martial arts he did growing up; and a tattoo gun on his right hand, which is wrapped in dollar bills because “it’s my money maker.” For his love of Norse mythology, he got Thor’s hammers on his thighs, and another tattoo on his kneecap, which is an eyeball. When asked whether the knee tattoo hurt, he said: “Nah, my neck was the worst one.” He turned his head to reveal the markings there. On one side is a lip with safety pins in it. “I had this artist – he drew a really cool piece. He didn’t do quite do as good on the tattoo as he did on the drawing. ... It was just cool and it fit the neck really well,” he said. He also has the words “sick boy” scrawled into his neck – a reference to the punk band Social Distortion. These days, Blachley owns a small shop in Durango, where he works as the only tattoo artist; he likes it just fine that way. “I’m just over all that drama. You have to worry about the quality that everyone is putting out on every tattoo, and you’re the one that’s responsible for that. I know what I do,” he said.

16 | Thursday, November 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[weed]

We got mighty stoned on Brain OG I am not going to lie to you, friends. Brain OG stinks. It stinks so much that as I type this, I can smell it seeping out of my desk drawer. It is a stank ass strain. Perhaps that’s because it’s a product of Lemon OG and Sour Diesel, the two strains that were crossed to create ol’ Brain OG. Sour Diesel smells like a tanker full of diesel fuel, and Lemon OG...well, it’s skunky as hell, and hardly a worthy opponent to fight the fumes that emanate from Sour Diesel. Together, this combo is one skunk-funk powerhouse. One of the cool things about Brain OG is that while its stench is, uh, less than pleasant, the taste IS pretty pleasant. It’s almost nondescript, if you can imagine. It tastes like smoke.

And, it’s not just the stink-stankstunk of Brain OG that is powerful, either. It is also the effects, which I learned last night after I smoked one bowl of this stuff. Bowl. Singular. Holy stoned, you guys. By the time I walked into my house, I was like, thermometer-busting stoned, and felt like I was walking through a fun-house, but I can promise my house is not a leftover carnival attraction. I am not that cool.

to say something without moving your mouth? Like, in your throat?”

And, I found out that the effects are very unique to this strain. After smoking that singular bowl, I not only felt like I was walking into my house sideways, but I also got EXTREMELY hungry – like, ate mac and cheese with my hands hungry (the shame is real) – and then felt like I was super smart because I suddenly understood all of the jokes on Parks and Rec, a show I have until recently ignored.

“THAT IS THE OTHER DOG,” he replied, again dissolving into laughter. “How stoned ARE you?”

Anywho, after stuffing my face full of the mac and cheese that had been sitting in a pan on the stove, I made a s’more in the microwave, bingewatched some excellent sitcom writing, and then passed out face down. I woke up about an hour later with my housemate saying, “Uhhh...did you just try

Details Where to find Brain OG: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino del Rio, 970-385-8622, prohibitionherb. com

“Yes. I said hmm mmm to the dog cause he won’t stop scratching,” I said. He laughed before replying with, “Uhhh, the dog is asleep. Right there. (Motions to the ottoman where the dog is sleeping.) He didn’t move.”

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“Yeah, well I want proof that it wasn’t (other dog) then,” I said.

Caveats: Prohibition didn’t bribe us for a good review of Brain OG. They just gave us the keys to the weed jeep and let us drive.

Apparently very. Very stoned. But whatever. It’s not my fault that Brain OG is into cuttin’ bitches with its indica prowess. After my semi-embarrassing dog faux paus, I peeled myself off the couch and walked up the stairs to my room to pass out in peace. It was a struggle to walk upright. I kinda felt like Flat Stanley, and held onto both railings as I did so. And, before you call me a lightweight or something, I smoked this strain with another friend (not Judgy McJudgerson with the dog situation), and that

friend was equally as zonked. That’s cool with me, though. I think Brain OG, while perhaps more aptly called One Brain Cell OG, was a fun ride. Every once in a blue moon, I’ll share the love and give the leftovers from a strain review to a friend or stressed out coworker, but not this time. I’m hiding Brain OG and keeping it for the next time I want to check out and laugh at nothing...so like, tomorrow, probably. Sorry, fools. This one is all mine. —— DGO Pufnstuf

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[weed]

Our new loves: Nitro Cookies and Bubbleberry 99 live resin I completely overslept for work this morning. How, you ask? Well, the blame goes to a little thing called Bubbleberry 99 live resin, which we procured from our friends at Chronic Therapy in Cortez.

sweet, a little skunky (maybe?), and very, very weed-y. Sorry. Words escape me on this one. I CAN find the words for its effects, though. This resin heated right up when dropped onto the glass of the dab rig, and it didn’t take much for me to feel every drop of its power seep into my veins. That’s very dramatic (sorry), but also true. My arms went limp, my brain went quiet (hell yes), and I feel like I passed right the hell out. I think I was probably awake for a minute afterward, but all I really remember is being so sleepy that I had to shut my eyes. Fighting it was an exercise in futility, and I was so chill that I didn’t care to, anyway.

Chronic Therapy sent over Bubbleberry 99 and Nitro Cookies live resin for us to review, and since we wrote on their PHO wax a couple of weeks ago, we decided to dig into these two sugary bad boys to review this week. Let’s break it down by strain, shall we?

If you’re an insomniac or you have chronic pain (or even just a headache from dumb work), this strain will fix you right up. Trust. Just don’t expect to be discreet cause the smell will tell on you right away. Worth it, though.

Nitro Cookies

This Bubbleberry 99 live resin is an indica too, and it contains 70.99 percent THC. It’s the reason I was late for work, although I didn’t throw this concentrate under the bus. (Mostly because I didn’t think my boss would buy the excuse that Bubbleberry 99 made me do it, so I just took my lashings and moved on.) As with Nitro Cookies, it’s stanky af, but its scent is not as sweet. It smells more like a sour fruit, but it’s also somehow kind of musky and spicy. I don’t know. I’m not sure my nose even works anymore, to be honest.

Nitro Cookies is an indica strain, and the live resin we are reviewing contains 69.96 percent THC. It’s a cross between Gasmask and Animal Cookies, and it’s one of those strains that reeks normally, but especially reeks in concentrate form. The live Nitro Cookies resin, which was contained in not only a child-proof jar, but also a child-proof plastic container, could be smelled through the plastic. That’s two layers of protection (heh), yet the shiny yellow crystal stank still managed to penetrate my nostrils. That’s some serious resin stamina. I’m not really sure what to tell you it smells like, though. It’s a little

Bubbleberry 99

So, I dropped a couple of scoops of this sticky crystal mess into the dab rig one night, and it, in turn, hit

Details Where to find Nitro Cookies and Bubbleberry 99 live resin: Chronic Therapy, 1020 S. Broadway, Cortez, chronictherapy.co Price: Varies, but check out their deals on Wax Wednesday cause it can drop to like, bottom dollar prices. Baller. me like a ton of bricks. I was sober, sober, sober, sober, HELLA STONED, and things get super fuzzy from there. I always try to take some notes, but the only note I have in my stash says, “I just saw the reddit button bounce out at me like a gif.” I don’t know what that means, I won’t pretend to know what that means, and I won’t even try to decipher that stoned nonsense. That’s legit all I wrote down before passing out like a milk-drunk baby. I woke up the next morning, confused and in the clothes I wore to work (I know; I’m gross) and hauled ass to get out of the house, which forced me to shovel cake in my mouth on the way to the car for breakfast. And yes, I made time to brush my teeth. So, if you’re looking for some concentrates to either kick your ass into oblivion or knock you out stone cold, these two options are very high on my list to do that. Just make sure you put out a Kind bar or something for your inevitable rush out of the house the next morning. The cake was good, but ain’t nobody need frosting on their jeans before they even get to the office. That isn’t adulting at all. —— DGO Pufnstuf

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18 | Thursday, November 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening] DGO picks in and around Durango Trot that...turkey? We want to make so many jokes, but we won’t, because the annual Turkey Trot, a beloved Thanksgiving day race that’s been taking place for like, three decades or so, is pretty great. You can choose between the 5-mile race or 1-mile fun run – either sound like the right kind of Turkey Day torture to us – and it will help you burn off the carbs, the turkey, the stuffing, ol’ Aunt Sally’s addictive yam-and-marshmallow amalgam, and the 36 slices of pie you’ll down your gullet. So, just yourself out of the house and over to Fort Lewis College for the run. The trot is a time honored tradition, and it’ll allow you to say yes to that extra serving of mashed potatoes without a second thought because, well, all the exercise. Seems like a win to us. Details: Nov. 22, Turkey Trot, , 9:45 a.m., Fun Run is free, 5-mile is $20 to $25, Fort Lewis College at the Student Union Building, 1000 Rim Drive, runsignup.com/ race/CO/Durango

Try the salsa (without chips) Everyone knows that Wild Horse Saloon is a country music haven, but does everyone know that it is also a salsa music haven? Well, to be fair, it’s a salsa music LESSON haven. What we mean by that is that you can take some salsa lessons at Wild Horse Saloon to gain a little control over those two left feet. Maybe one will start to turn slightly toward the right...or maybe you’ll just be salsa dancing with two left feet ad infinitum. You’ll just have to try it out to see. Or, you could just stick to the line dancing lessons. Ain’t nobody need coordination for that business. Details: Nov. 27, Salsa Lessons, 6:30 p.m., free, Wild Horse Saloon, 120 Second Ave., wildhorsesaloon.com

Get on the Jackmormon jackwagon Are you familiar with Jerry Joseph & The Jack-

Thursday Durango Turkey Trot Race, 8:30 a.m., $15 to $25, race day registration is $25, pre-registration is $15 to $20, Fort Lewis College Campus, 1000 Rim Drive. San Juan College Fall Art Student Exhibit, 10 a.m., Henderson Fine Arts Center

Art Gallery, 4601 College Blvd.

Jerry McBride/BCI Media file

»» Some runners dressed up for 2017 the Durango Running Club Turkey Trot. mormons? If your answer was no, please remedy that ASAP, because you, dear friend, are missing tf out. You might be familiar with Joseph in sound rather than name, considering that he is like, we don’t know, KIND OF A BIG DEAL. And by that we mean he’s a badass songwriter who’s spilled ink and music notes for Widespread Panic, a band we’re 100 percent sure you’re cool enough to know. Joseph has knocked about 30 freaking albums out of the

Fair, 9 a.m., The Montezuma County Annex Building, 107 N. Chestnut Street. Bluegrouse, 6 p.m., Mancos Brewing Co.,

484 E. Frontage Road.

Monday Manhattan Monday, 5 p.m., password

park at this point in his career – we’re talking solo records, Widespread Panic biz, and Jackmormons stuff – so if you go hang at Animas to catch his show, you’re bound to catch one heck of a unique performance. Do eet. Details: Nov. 27, Jerry Joseph & The Jackmormons, 7 p.m., $15 to $17, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive, animascitytheatre.com

Sunnyside Wreath Extravaganza 2018, 3 p.m., Durango Public Library, Sunny-

side Branch, 75 County Road 218. Diabetes Education Series, 3:30 p.m.,

Bonnie Dallas Senior Center, 109 E. La Plata Street. Training: Dynamics of Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault, 5 p.m., Four

- find it on our social media, The Bookcase & Barber, 601 E. Second Ave.

Corners Child Advocacy Center, 140 N. Linden Street.

Dinner, 2500 N. Main Ave.

Training: Dynamics of Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault, 5 p.m., Four

Super Ted’s Super Trivia, 6 p.m., Henry

Friday

Corners Child Advocacy Center, 140 N. Linden Street.

San Juan College Fall Art Student Exhibit, 10 a.m., Henderson Fine Arts Center

Nerf Wars 6: Revenge of the Nerf,

Dolores Holiday Kick-Off Social, 6 p.m., $10, Dolores Community Center, 400 Riverside Ave.

5:30 p.m., The River Church, 860 Plymouth Drive.

Wednesday

2018 Community Thanksgiving Dinner, 11:30 a.m., Community Thanksgiving

Art Gallery, 4601 College Blvd. Black Friday Zumbathon, 2 p.m., Dance

in the Rockies, 1162 Dominquez Drive, 970385-5903.

Tuesday

Saturday

Emergency Preparedness Kit and Disaster Skills Workshop, noon, Duran-

7th Annual Veterans Christmas Craft

go Public Library, 1900 E. Third Ave.

Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave., 970-375-7160.

Wednesday Activities Club (WAC),

2:30 p.m., Cortez Public Library, 202 N. Park Street. Training: Dynamics of Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault, 5 p.m., Four

Corners Child Advocacy Center, 140 N. Linden Street. October Meeting of Durango Citizens Climate Lobby, 5:30 p.m., Himalayan

Kitchen, 992 Main Ave.

Ongoing Henry Stoy, piano at 10:30 a.m. every Saturday and Sunday at Jean-Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave. Old west stage shows, held at 5:30 p.m. nightly throughout the summer at Bar D Chuckwagon, 8080 County Road 250. Cost is $12-$38 and reservations are preferred. To reserve, visit www.bardchuckwagon.com.

Submissions Submit events for the next week online by noon Monday at www. swscene.com. DGO publishes events online

and in print every Thursday.

�� Thursday, November 22, 2018 | 19

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Rocky Road With KATIE BURFORD Ice Cream shop owner, Katie Burford is answering your life questions. Have one? Email rockyroad@dgomag.com 20 | Thursday, November 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19) While traveling this week be extra cautious when driving. This buildup for the Full Moon can make people distracted or rash. Pay attention to everything you say and do. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) This is a poor week for financial decisions. It’s also a poor week to spend money on anything other than food, gas or entertainment. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) This week, you are experiencing the only Full Moon all year in your sign. This means you have to be diplomatic and patient with others. Keep nodding your head and smiling. CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

Because of the energy building up for the Full Moon, which, in turn, makes people prickly and overly sensitive, just decide to

go along to get along. It’s the best move for everyone. LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) Be patient with children this week. Likewise, be patient with romantic partners because the Full Moon energy drives everyone a bit crazy. Patience is the key. VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) There will be some challenges at home this week when dealing with family members, especially anyone in authority, including parents. This is because this is a time of the Full Moon. Stay mellow. LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) Do everything with care and precision this week because this is a mildly accident-prone week for you. Therefore, do not be distracted. Avoid arguments. Be calm and cooperative. (Smart choice.) SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

Avoid important discussions about money and finances this week because they will accomplish nothing. In fact, restrict your spending to food, gas and entertainment. Simple.

week. Postpone important decisions for another week. Restrict your spending to food, gas and entertainment.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)

Family events will require patience and tolerance this week. Do not be critical or judgmental. Do the best that you can.

This Full Moon is the only Full Moon opposite your sign all year, which is why you feel some tension with others this week. Your best choice is to keep things light. Keep smiling.

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20)

BORN THIS WEEK

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

You are frank, steadfast, confident and enthusiastic. You have tireless energy and are generous and caring. It’s time to think “success, power and money”! Oh yes, it’s a year of harvest and major achievements because you are reaping the benefits of the past decade. You will taste power and leadership in all your relationships. Get going. Make it happen!

Be patient with children, romantic partners and social occasions this

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) Do not be demanding on yourself and others this week. Lower your standards a bit so that you can feel satisfied and happy because this week is a squirrely week. Anticipate shortages.

For your tattoo-mation Anciently artsy fartsy Tattooing has been around for, well, since at least Neolithic times, so basically forever. The oldest human found with tats was Ötzi the Iceman, who is believed to have lived around 3400 and 3100 BC. They found the Iceman in 1991 in the mountains on the border of Austria and Italy. Scientists found 61 tattoos on the Iceman, and speculate that the tattoos were used as a method of acupuncture on the poor guy. The walking tattoo The most tatted man in the world, Lucky Diamond Rich, is 100 percent tattooed. Among the unusual places on his body that are inked are the inside of his eyelids, mouth, ears, and foreskin. We didn’t even know you could get the inside of your eyelids tattooed. Piss tats At some point in time, people thought it was a good idea to mix URINE with tattoo coloring. That doesn’t sound like it’ll give you an infection at all. We want to know who came up with this.

22 | Thursday, November 22, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[visual]

THE WORST TATTOOS

local artists have seen over the years Look. We’ve all made mistakes, and many of us have made bad decisions when it comes to permanently inking ourselves in a tattoo shop. Or a basement. Or a garage. Hey, we don’t know where you like to get your tattoos. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to live with those forehead-slapping tattoos for a while. On the other hand, technology has advanced to where there’s more access to laser removal, and there are lots of shops that are willing to do cover-ups. But, in order to get that laser removal or cover up, you have to show yet another soul the embarrassing decision you made when you were 18 and wanted to show your parents what was what by getting a giant spider on your back. And, while we aren’t ones to judge, we certainly do love a good (bad) tattoo story, so we asked this week’s cover story subjects about a few of the worst, most questionable, or just plain old weird tattoos they’ve seen, done, or been asked to do over the years. Joshua Barela (Graceful Eye Tattoo): One day (when I was 17), my buddy was tattooing at my house, homemade machine and everything. We were just hanging out and I had seen him do it (tattoo) and was like, ‘Let me try that,’ and he was like, ‘I don’t know man, you gotta ask her.’ And the lady said, ‘I’ve never seen you tattoo,’ and I was like, ‘Well, me neither – let’s go for it.’ And she said, ‘Well, let me see something first.’ So my buddy James volunteers. We were sitting out back on my porch. One guy was holding a lamp, the other guy was holding the wires on to this battery, and I was standing on this chair. My buddy was sitting underneath the porch lamp. I did one on the back of his neck. She was like, ‘Cool, let’s do it.’ So I went in and tattooed her. I messed her up so bad. Everything about it was not OK. … It was supposed to be angel wings wrapped around this baby or girl. … The lines were just so squiggly. It was horrid. I felt bad for that girl. I fixed it a couple years later. Flip Martinez (Animas Tattoo & Body Piercing): I had a lady when I lived back east that came up with a stroller, and she had triplets. She wanted me to tattoo a dot on one, two dots on the other one, three dots on the other one, so she could tell them apart. I mean, they were baby babies. And I’m like, ‘I’m not gonna tattoo your babies.’ They’re going to have personalities. You’re going to be able to tell them apart. Get a Sharpie. Doug Patrum (Durango Tattoo Company): It’s not so much the tattoo as the spot (that hurts). Some spots are sneaky, and what I mean by sneaky is you wouldn’t think it hurts but it hurts pretty bad. I would say the butt is one of them. I was really surprised. ... I worked in Daytona, Florida for a few years, and I did tons and tons of tattoos on butts, like little vacation tattoos or memento tattoos on all these people’s butts who put it there because they thought it wouldn’t hurt. As soon as I got tattooed in that neighborhood of my body, I was like, ‘All those poor ladies who thought they were getting off light putting it on their butt.’ Bill Peoples (Animas Tattoo & Body Piercing): So I came out on the porch and was having my lunch and one of the counter girls and was like, ‘You need to talk to this couple.’ And I’m like, ‘What’s up? How you doing?’ And they’re like ‘Yeah, I got this tattoo I need you to look at.’ That’s what he says. She’s like, ‘Would you look at this f*cking tattoo on him?!’ and she pulls up his sleeve. You know the Cleveland Indians

Amanda Push/DGO Mag

»» Joshua Barela, the owner of Graceful Eye Tattoo in Durango. baseball ... when it’s been smacked? This ball is not round. The teeth – oh my God. ... These teeth are f*cked up. It’s bad. The stitching on the baseball is all scars. I mean, it’s hideous. It’s just a wreck. And she’s talking like she’s not happy with it like, ‘Would you look at this f*cking thing?’ So I take a look. I’m thinking, ‘What can I do to fix it and still give him the same tattoo without covering it up?’ So I made my assessment. ‘You know the old saying, you can’t polish a turd?’ That’s where I started with it. And her head went sideways like I’d slapped her sister, like she was about to attack me. I was like, ‘What’s going on?’ And I’m trying to say my bit about how I could fix and do this and that. ‘What the fuck?! Who are you talking to?!’ ‘You asked me a question and I thought I was answering your question and I guess I’m speaking to you, ma’am.’ Everybody on the porch is looking over. ... So I say, ‘What’s the situation here? I thought you wanted me to give you an assessment on fixing it?’ And she goes, ‘I did that tattoo! I wanted your opinion!’ I tell her, ‘It sucks. Throw your tattoo shit in the trash, and, by the way, get the f*ck off

our porch.’ Robert Smith (Black Mountain Tattoo): If it’s really f*cking something that I know the person’s gonna regret (I won’t do it), especially depending on their age. Definitely young kids we steer out of a lot of ideas. But if it’s somebody that knows better I don’t give a shit – I’ll tattoo it. This one guy got ‘f*ck off’ across his arm. Matt Blachley (Skin Incorporated Tattoo and Body Piercing): (This customer I’m working with is) doing a cover-up nobody else would touch. I do a lot of those. I get it that artists don’t want their work out there to be dumbed down. My thing is, as a person, what are you supposed to do with that? You made some mistakes and you’re stuck with it because I don’t want to dumb my work down? No. So I’ve always stepped up to the challenge of trying to do awesome cover-ups that other people won’t do. It takes a lot longer because it’s a hard cover-up but, morally, I think it’s the right thing to do. —— Amanda Push

�� Thursday, November 22, 2018 | 23

C E L E B R AT I N G WO M E N WO R K I N G I N L A P L ATA A N D MONTEZUMA CO U N T I E S .

NOMINATIONS NOW OPEN SOUTHWEST COLORADO WOMEN IN BUSINESS is a magazine and awards ceremony managed by Ballantine Communications to recognize outstanding women who work in La Plata and Montezuma counties, women who have contributed achievements in their industry and in the community.

ONE WOMAN will be chosen from among all nominees for the outstanding woman award. This year, the awards ceremony is held in part with the Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Resource Center. NOMINATIONS will be accepted until midnight Dec. 10, 2018. VISIT DURANGOHERALD.COM/WOMEN for more information and to cast your nominations.