Kinky Activism by Ballantine Communications

art entertainment food drink music nightlife February 14-27, 2019

DGO Y K N I M S K I V I T C A How New Mexico sex worker Sera Miles is fighting to legitimize the industry

Also: Taco Box, badass Meow Wolf shows, and a review of Purple Fire live resin

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DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 4 Number 13 Thursday, February 14, 2019

Editor

Gettin’ down with ganja

Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551

Taco Box

Amanda Push apush@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko 375-4553 Contributors Katie Burford Katie Cahill

Animas Chocolates 5-6

Just as sex sells, so does weed. So, one could argue they’re what you might call a match made in heaven ... if you’re one to believe in soul-mates and the afterlife.

Staff writer

Eat

Sound

Meow Wolf’s

Badass Shows 7

Weed

Reviews

Weed and Sex 11

9-10

18 Comedy

Jon E. Lynch Lindsay Mattison Design/layout Colossal Sanders for DGO

Reader Services

V.P. of Advertising David Habrat

4 Taco Box taquitas were totally terrific

7 Meow Wolf’s bringing the badassery to Santa Fe

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

Comedy Fest 18 Rocky Road 19

22 Horoscope/ puzzles

The inside of Taco Box in Farmington is small and casual – aka the perfect spot for grabbing some quick tacos and then getting out and your way.

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

375-4570

Douglas Bennett

Telluride

19 Advice

Colossal Sanders

Chief Executive Officer

These shows are ALL at Meow Wolf and are ALL worth your time, energy, drive, and hard earned dollars. And these are just the acts announced as of now.

18 Telluride Comedy Festival’s killer lineup

23 Film

The Telluride Comedy Festival is bringing out the big guns for the annual laugh fest. Nick Kroll – creator of Netflix’s “Big Mouth” – is among the comics who are slated to perform.

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ON THE COVER Tell us what you think! Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

Sera Miles is an Albuquerque-based sex worker, activist and CEO of People Exchanging Power. Rudy Montoya/Learah E. Lane

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[eat]

Durango, Are You Getting

Curiouser and Curiouser?

Come Down the Rabbit Hole!

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A CACAO BEAN LOVE STORY OK, you guys, I’m just going to say it: I hate Valentine’s Day. Maybe it’s the rebel in me who doesn’t want to do what “they” tell me I should, but mostly I’m just lazy. I’m supposed to make reservations months in advance for dinner on a Thursday night? Spend money on love notes and skimpy red dresses? Phhhh, no thanks; you’ll find me at home, watching TV while chowing down on tacos in my pajamas like a normal human being, thank you very much. There is one part of the holiday that I don’t despise, and that’s the chocolate. Not that these tasty treats were always part of V-Day; it was mostly roses and poems until the mid-1800s, when Europe’s Cadbury turned drinking chocolates into “eating chocolates.” He popped ’em into elaborately designed, keepsake heart-shaped boxes and chocolate became entrenched in Valentine’s history. I don’t actually need an excuse to buy chocolate, but I’ll take it. It tastes good, smells good and makes me feel good. There’s a reason that the Aztecs used the beans as currency and Marie Antoinette had a personal chocolatier. And is it a coincidence that Miracle Max used it to bring Wesley back from the dead in “The Princess Bride?” I

think not. But, like most things these days, regular old chocolate simply isn’t enough for me. I don’t want mass-produced, sugar-laden chocolate the same way I don’t want a cup of Folgers coffee or a tomato that’s grown a thousand miles away. Nope, I want the good stuff – the real deal – and the more I learn about bean-to-bar chocolate, the more I dig it. I mean, talk about a real-life love story: a lonely cacao bean, living in a pod with its 30 to 40 siblings until, one day, a long pole comes bounding up from the ground, severing the pod from the tree in one swift stroke. After a few hits with a machete, the beans are freed from their home, excited to mingle with their friends in a large fermentation box. Chemical changes began to happen inside our little bean, and before you know it, she’s a changed woman. Drying in the sun, she looks around for her star-crossed lover but simply doesn’t feel the sting of Cupid’s arrow. If only she had Tinder, eh?

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Continued on Page 6

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[eat]

Farmington’s Taco Box is a surprising afternoon delight food (we’ve had a few bad experiences around these here parts). We were pleasantly surprised to find that Taco Box is delicious.

I’m going to try really hard to get through this without making too many inappropriate references to taco boxes in this review about Taco Box, a Mexican restaurant in Farmington, New Mexico, but I want you all to know how difficult this has been for me.

I admit my plate choice was probably not the most exciting option as far as Mexican cuisine goes, but exciting or not, these were still some of the best tacos I’ve tasted in a long while. The spice worked into the meat was on point, which launched it so many heavenly levels above the crunchy tacos you get when ordering a meal off the Taco Bell menu. Not dissing on Taco Bell – there is much love for them from the DGO office – but I was relieved that I wasn’t getting the T-Bell drive-in experience in Farmington.

With that being said, I’ve been wanting to check out what I figured would be a New Mexico food treasure based on its name alone. If you haven’t figured it out already, I have the soul of a 13-year-old boy. My companion and I were running errands in Farmington and felt it would be a good time to hit up this casual dine-in, which we hoped would live up to its name. Yes, we BOTH have the souls of prepubescent boys.

The Mexi-burger, on the other hand, was an option I could have done without. No matter how much I loved these spicy burgers as a 7-year-old child, the Mexican cuisine industry should still probably veer away from turning tacos into cheeseburgers. The barbecue sauce really overshadowed any of the delicious spice I had grown fond of while devouring my tacos. It felt more like I was eating a sad version of a Sloppy Joe than Mexican food.

I went with the classic Mexi-Pack – two crunchy tacos and a Mexi-burger (the Mexi-burger reminded me of my childhood, OK?) – while my friend went with an order of the Tequita Sunrise – three tequitas with a side of homemade guacamole. The inside of Taco Box is small and casual – aka the perfect spot for grabbing some quick tacos and then getting out and on your way. We went with our modus operandi and chose a corner table, our curiosity piquing as to the quality of casual dine-in Mexican

Taco Box is an excellent choice for those of you looking for some heavenly tacos, or for those of us

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[eat]

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From Page 5

wasn’t trying to pick a bad boy, but it just really knows her, bringing out her essential flavors like no one else can. And, isn’t that what we’re all looking for – someone who can allow our true selves to shine? It takes seven days – seven days – for Animas Chocolate to transform cacao beans into a ready-to-sell bar. Their Highline Bars feature single-location beans from Guatemala, Bolivia, or Belize. I tried all three side-by-side, and it’s totally crazy how different they taste. The Bolivia was pleasantly bitter yet sweet with a deep chocolate flavor, while the Guatemala was intensely fruity with almost no bitterness at all. The Belize tasted so much like cherries, I had to double check the ingredients to be sure that cherry extract wasn’t added. Forget wine tastings; chocolate tasting is definitely my new jam! Who was the magician who brought these flavors to life? Carley Snider, who owns the Main Avenue shop with her husband, Marc. She found an old chocolate recipe book while working at Tall Timber Resort north of Durango and never looked back. They named the company after the Animas River, and their tagline, “Lose your soul to chocolate,” is a tribute to the El Rio de las Animas Perdidas (the River of Lost Souls). As if their story isn’t steeped in

enough Durango history, their location used to be at Richey Confectionery, Durango’s original candy shop in the late 1800s. The store is filled with homemade treats as far as the eye can see. Browse and eat chocolate until your heart’s content, or settle down at the beautiful marble-top bar or ultra-comfy couches with a Desert Sun coffee drink or a creamy drinking chocolate. Better yet, turn an oatmeal cookie into a s’more by adding house-made marshmallows and melted chocolate. And don’t worry if you’re not ready to spend $7 on a chocolate bar or shell out $2.50 for a handcrafted truffle. I mean, they’re totally worth it and it’ll be the best bite of your life, but they also have affordable options like couverture bars, lollipops and hot chocolate mix. I also picked up a bag of chocolate-covered potato chips and a set of edible chocolate shot glasses. Because, while I might observe the “holiday” in my aforementioned pajamas, why not do it with chocolate? If there is one thing worth celebrating, it’s a local company absolutely doing it right. They’re open until 7 p.m. on Valentine’s Day, too, so don’t be afraid to do a little last-minute shopping (and pick up a chocolate-covered strawberry while you’re at it). —— Lindsay Mattison

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[sound]

There’s a ton of badass live music coming to Meow Wolf Last Friday (February 8), Loma Vista Recordings, the label that’s home to a diverse roster of artists like St. Vincent, Andrew Bird, and Iggy Pop, along with Local Natives, Sylvan Esso, and Manchester Orchestra, released the fourth proper studio album from Los Angeles electro art noise punkers HEALTH. The record, “VOL. 4 :: SLAVES OF FEAR,” is their greatest accomplishment to date, and expands the band’s unique, indelible sound palette into a natural and logical extension of the musical styles that influenced them to begin with. There are further sonic explorations into industrial, electronic, electro punk, and proto punk, giving the record a weight and an apocalyptic heaviness that is a clear and apt reflection of the time that birthed the album. This isn’t a departure, but an upward trajectory for HEALTH. The heavy, abrasive beats are still accompanied by stark, propulsive drumming, thanks to the impressive rhythm section of John Famiglietti (bass) and BJ Miller (drums). Still present are caustic art noise drones and squalls of guitar with the omnipresent vocals of Jake Duzsik, which add a blanketed warmth and, if you can believe it, softness to the record that is welcome to established fans of the band. The real beauty, complexity, and nuance of the trio’s compositions on the album are best absorbed with close, dedicated listens. Different textures and subtleties become apparent with subsequent listens through headphones and I highly recommend doing so. On Monday, May 6, the band will be appearing, along with applicable opener Youth Code, at Meow Wolf in Santa Fe. The venue holds a tight 300 or so fans, so get your tickets now. Even if you are on the fence about going (please

allow me to push you off), I highly suggest purchasing tickets and figuring out the rest later. Sure, it’s on a Monday, but I am a firm believer in making time to see the bands you want to see, day of the week be damned. I do get that it is easier said (or written) than done, but if you purchase the tickets, you’ll be more motivated to make it happen. And I’ll tell you what – if you are unable to attend, I’ll gladly sell the tickets for you on your behalf. If it just can’t happen, perhaps one or more of the following shows can/will: STRFKR along with Kansas City’s Shy Boys play on Wednesday, February 27. Indie stalwarts Low play on Saturday, March 9. Phoebe Bridgers and Conor Oberst just released a record as Better Oblivion Community Center and will be performing with Lala Lala on Friday, April 12. A week later, Tim Showalter, aka Strand of Oaks, play on April 19. That means I am either having to make a difficult decision of what show to attend or figuring out how to stay in Santa Fe for an entire week. Girlpool returns on Friday, May 10. MONO and Emma Ruth Rundle play on Saturday, June 1, and PUP, Ratboys, and Beach Bunny are a month later on Monday, July 1. These are ALL at Meow Wolf and are ALL worth your time, energy, the drive, your hard earned dollars, and all of that. And these are just the acts announced as of now. Stay tuned, as plenty more are sure to book. Remember: wherever you are, wherever you go, support live music. Which shows are you most excited for this summer? Not just at Meow Wolf, but in Durango, the Southwest, the state, or wherever. Feel free to email me at KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu and let me know. Questions, comments, or criticisms are always welcome. — Jon Lynch

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[weed]

Purple Fire live resin is the key to trippin’ balls My notes for this week’s Chronic Therapy strain have one really odd entry in them. Would you like to know what it is? Sure you would. I’m going to play hard to get for a minute though and make you wait. OK, you win. The odd entry states the following: “The dog sounds like wobbly foil.” THE DOG SOUNDS LIKE WOBBLY FOIL. I have no idea what the hell I was talking about, yet there it is. Foil and my dog. While I can almost certainly assure you that my dog, which is a huge ass great dane-boxer mix, did not sound like crackling foil, Purple Fire live resin made me think he did. And that’s pretty much the theme for that stuff: a brain full of nonsense. Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you. I like to check out some days and have a brain full of silly nonsense, so I didn’t mind. I’m just lucky, though, that I threw a few amber grains of this resin into the pen on a weekend evening and not a weeknight when I had to write. I have a feeling I would have been pretty frigging useless, although my article would have been interesting. I can’t say definitively but I vaguely remember going from sober to stoned out of my gourd that first hit. I only took a few hits, but I choked on every. single. one. and my lungs felt like they were on fire. Despite that choking, though, the resin actually had a really nice taste to it. Every once in a while a concentrate will have that weird plastic and wax flavor to it (could certainly be user error, so grain of salt) but this one didn’t. I don’t remember very much of my night after Purple Fire, but my notes allude to me being very

Cookies and Cream is the perfect hybrid Details

Hey! Guess what. We’re back with a review of another of Prohibition’s badass premium strains, and you should be stoked cause this is a good one.

Details Where to find Purple Fire live resin: Chronic Therapy, 1020 S. Broadway, Cortez, chronictherapy.co. Price: $30 a gram amused, so deductions I will draw. They say things like: “My feet are so wiggly and I thought I was walking into a pole.” and “When is the last time I blinked?” Your guess is as good as mine. I will also draw the deduction that this resin gave me hella cottonmouth, as one of my notes says, “Mouth is real dry after sucking down a whole Dr. Pepper.” My follow-up note is that I could feel every single tiny ice cube in my drink. I have no idea where I got this Dr. Pepper, cause I don’t keep them in the fridge, and my freezer contains giant ice cubes, but I guess I found not only a Dr. Pepper but also some sweet Sonic-sized ice. Magic! But then again, all of Purple Fire was like magic. It made my memories disappear, made me think there were poles in my house, and made my dog sound like crinkling foil. Anything that makes me trip balls that hard has to be worth a trip to Cortez, right? Right. —— DGO Pufnstuf

This week, we’re going to be chatting with you about Cookies and Cream, a strain of weed that smells and tastes like vanilla. And that alone, my friends, is baller af. But when you add in the fact that this strain is super potent and takes you on a killer (yet relaxed) journey to the inner depths of your mind, that makes it a real winner. So, what is Cookies and Cream, you ask? Well, it’s a hybrid strain created by crossing Starfighter and GSC (the weed strain formerly known as Girl Scout Cookies), which is one of my very favorite strains. The Cookies and Cream flower that Prohibition has dreamed up contains 21.87 percent THC, so ... a pretty significant amount. I loaded a bowl late in the evening last week, and I was immediately hit with the sweetest taste and smell. There’s a bit of vanilla in there, a bit of sugary candy, and, of course, the taste of good ol’ fashioned herb. I dug it. I smoked the bowl alone, as I’ve become greedy as hell with these top-notch strains, and then proceeded to park my ass in front of Schitt’s Creek. (Side note: if you aren’t watching this, you’re a punk. Get on it.) It took only a few minutes for my body to start feeling heavy and relaxed, and for the happy waves of a body high to kick through. My legs felt like they were covered in a tiny, warm ocean, with the water lapping onto my skin in soft, rhythmic waves. (Shut up. It was awesome.) Life was super and super relaxed. In fact, it took a while for me to realize my mouth was beyond dry – we’re talking Sahara levels of cottonmouth – because I was so chill. Once I did, though ... holy liquids, Batman. I was drinking EVERYTHING. So, be aware, friends. Get thee

Where to find Cookies and Cream: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino del Rio, 970-385-8622, prohibitionherb.com Price: $50 an eighth; $250 an ounce; available only on rec Caveats: Prohibition didn’t bribe us for a good review. Our opinions are all our own.

some Cookies and Cream, but get thee a glass of water first. You’ll be so hydrated by the end of it! Given the body high I was rockin’, I fully expected this strain to act more like an indica, but it was not to be. I waited for that heavy, sleepy feeling to overtake my eyes, but it didn’t come. The body high just continued to grace me with its presence instead. I also didn’t get the munchies like I generally do with strains that give me a body high. I was thirsty as hell but not hungry, so if you’re looking for some bud that will force you to drink your eight 8-ounce glasses of water but WON’T make you snarf an entire package of Double-Stuf Oreos, this might be your jam. Anyway, I was awake and chillin’ with a rad high for the next couple of hours, despite my old ass generally falling asleep well before the late hour in which I finally passed out. Go figure. This strain is – for me – a pretty darn good hybrid. It sure seems to split the sativa and indica properties right down the middle – body high, awake and SUPER amused with my surroundings – which is a rare beast. Add in the fact that it tastes like candy and you have yourself a real winner, folks. Now get some and smoke it with Schitt’s Creek or we can no longer be friends. Please and thanks.

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�� Thursday, February 14, 2019 | 9

[weed]

Space Ghost: a strain worth a trip to Pagosa and a ditch It was snowing like hell in Pagosa Springs last Wednesday. It was snowing so hard, in fact, that the roads were packed with snow and ice, and I drove right into a ditch trying to get to the pot shop to pick up this week’s review product. Yes, I have all-wheel drive. Yes, I still drove into a ditch. No, I was not hauling ass. It was a slow descent into the ditch, so nothing was damaged other than my pride. It was a lesson in humility, sitting there two blocks from Pagosa Therapeutics in a car that was leaning sideways while stuck halfway into the road. And, to add insult to injury, the weather caused a delay with the tow truck, because apparently I’m not the only one who shouldn’t have been driving in the middle of a snow storm. It took over an hour for my knight in shining tow truck to arrive, and by the time he did, someone else had slid off the road right next to me. He managed to trench the ditch trying to (unsuccessfully) get out. But, as damaged as my pride was, it was worth the trip to snow road hell because I got to pick up some Space Ghost flower, a strain that wasn’t even on Pagosa’s shelves yet. Feel free to be green with envy. If you haven’t heard of Space Ghost, here’s the deal: this indica contains a freaking ass ton of THC – we’re talking 25.5 percent in the batch we got from Pagosa – and it. is. badass. I packed a

bowl right after I walked in the door to my house to soothe my bruised ego, and it was the very best choice I could have made. The strain doesn’t smell great – Space Ghost reeks like cheese and feet – but it tastes just fine, and (as with all of Pagosa’s strains) man, does it kick in quickly. You ever smoked a strain that immediately turns your mouth to mush? Yeah, that’s Space Ghost (which I sincerely hope was named after Space Ghost Coast to Coast). It couldn’t have been more than five or six minutes after finishing the bowl that I was rendered incapacitated in a VERY GOOD way. My mouth wouldn’t cooperate and I was highly amused with everything around me. I was apparently also amusing to everyone around me, as I kept trying to form words and all that came out was nonsense. I did manage to get it together after a while, but my thoughts were about the equivalent of my mush-mouth. I was asking all sorts of random questions, as I was apparently puzzled and amazed by the universe. I also ate a metric ton of snacks, so ... munchers beware. You WILL be looking for the chips ... and the Cinnabon mini cinnamon rolls they’re now hawking at Pizza Hut. I don’t know why they have to ruin my diet in the best way, but anyway ... I digress. Back to Space Ghost. It was worth a trip to Pagosa, and even worth the hour and a half stuck in the ditch. Still, if you’re heading out there to get some of this strain – and I highly suggest you do – be sure to take that turn onto Bastille slowly, lest a trip down into that hole delay your trip to the pot shop. Unlike Space Ghost, nobody needs that in their lives.

Details Where to Space Ghost: Pagosa Therapeutics, 235 Bastille Drive, Pagosa Springs. Find them at 970-731-4420 or pagosatherapeutics.com Price: $60 an eighth Caveats: Pagosa didn’t bribe us for a good review. Our opinions are all our own.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

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[weed]

Thanks, weed! How cannabis is making your sex life better Just as sex sells, so does weed. So, one (us) could argue they’re a bit of what you might call a match made in heaven, provided you’re one to believe in soul-mates and the afterlife. And, we’re not alone in our thinking. As humanity grows in our understanding of human sexuality, our pursuit of how to make sex a better experience also grows, and for some, cannabis seems to be a key in many cases to the doorway leading to cosmic pleasure. The Internet is rife with studies on the correlation between cannabis and increased erotic satisfaction. In one study, Stanford researchers, who at this point have conducted the largest study on this topic, surveyed information from the National Survey of Family Growth – data sets from 2002, 2006-10, and 2011-15, which included a group of 28,176 women and 22,943 men who used cannabis weekly. The men reported having 22 percent more sex while the women reported having 34 percent more sex. Go ladies! The study group was compared to those who did not use cannabis. In another study, researchers at St. Louis University in Missouri surveyed 133 women during their annual gynecology exams and found that 38 of them used cannabis before they engaged in sex. Within that sub-group, 68 percent of those women said it made sex “more pleasurable,” while 72 percent said it increased their enjoyment, and 24 percent said it sometimes did. In a follow-up study, the researchers interviewed 289 women during their check-ups and had similar results. In fact, most studies indicate that around two-thirds of people find cannabis complements their sexual experiences. In an informal study done in 2011 by San Francisco journalist Michael Castleman, who has written about sex research for 36 years, found that 67 percent of his responders (he doesn’t state how many in his blog post) said marijuana made the experience more intense.

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“Marijuana engulfs me in sex foam. I’m just pure sex on that stuff. It’s great. I could never feel that way sober or drunk,” said one responder. “I’m not a frequent smoker, but when I have smoked and then had sex, it’s been the most amazing sex of my life,” said another. In fairness, 12 percent of his responders found that marijuana “destroys sex” or, perhaps it depended on the strain. “My boyfriend and I have smoked (fairly heavily) for the past year and I would say that it 100% has a terrible effect on our sex life. It’s been a huge libido killer for our relationship,” one responder replied.

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“Contrary to popular belief, not all buds are alike. Some weed makes you want to be very sexual and I’ve had some of the best orgasms of my life after using marijuana. Some of it makes you feel more introverted and thoughtful,” stated another. While we must keep in mind that studies aren’t really that black and white and marijuana just doesn’t do it for some people, cannabis seems to be the key for many people in unlocking their sexual potential – potential that might otherwise be difficult for them to reach. So, if you’re someone who has a difficult time relaxing during sex and/ or hitting that self-indulgent gratification point, consider letting cannabis give you a boost this Valentine’s Day and beyond. Maybe this is your year. —— Amanda Push

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14 | Thursday, February 14, 2019 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Gettin’ down and dirty with a New Mexico sex worker »» What it’s like being in a porno computer game, how to have responsible BDSM sex, and how far we’ve come since UNM’s Mistress Jade

By Amanda Push DGO STAFF WRITER

If Sera Miles hasn’t had phone sex for a few days, she feels a bit off. Luckily for her, she’s the CEO of People Exchanging Power (PEP), so it isn’t too much of a problem. We chatted with the Albuquerque-based sex worker and activist for our Valentine’s Day issue to learn more about what it’s like working as a sex worker these days, how our expanded understanding of human sexuality has shaped sex work, and whether our society has come very far in accepting sex work has a legitimate career. So, how did you get into the sex industry? Sera: I was in my 20s and I lived in Maryland, Baltimore. I wanted to move to New Mexico for graduate school – I wanted to move somewhere – and that eventually became New Mexico. ...I was kinky, and this is, like, the year 2000 so things are not as accessible – communities, events, connecting online. I had dial-up. I was one of very few people in my not too wealthy community – pretty broke community – that even had a computer. So, I met somebody online who knew somebody else, who knew somebody else, who connected me with Kelly Payne in Staten Island, and she’s a spanking video producer and does in-person sessions. So part of it for me was I was going to meet other kinky people, and that was the drive. I needed money, and I wanted to not feel so alone. Those two things came together. Meeting this person, Kelly Payne – who I ended up doing videos for (and) I apprenticed under – I went from there to meeting somebody else because Kelly was in New York. I found somebody locally – Vendela Zane – who was at an established respected pro-domme who let me work with her and learn from her over the next nine to 10 months until I moved out here.

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»» Sera Miles, an Albuquerque-based sex worker, starred in the first pornographic computer games, “Bonetown” and “Bonecraft.”

What kind of reactions do you get from people Continued on Page 16

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From Page 15

when you tell them about your work? Are people shocked or are they pretty chill and intrigued by it? Or do you tend to avoid telling people about your work? Sera: I don’t consort with people often who would have a bad reaction. I have a pretty nicely tailored life at this point. I’m almost 43. I went from being a phone sex girl to owning the company. ... You know, I’m that well-respected that I have haters (laughs). I don’t ever like to be dishonest unless I have to for my safety. So if it comes up, I’ll say something. Actually just this week, Wells Fargo, I bank with them, everything is complicated, and they asked me to come talk at one of their Evenings in Business. I was very excited, because I don’t get opportunities like that. But then I took a deep breath and was like, ‘And you know what I do?’ because my banker had left and I’ve been passed on to somebody else recently. And they were like, ‘Yes.’ I was ecstatic – like, you actually want to give me a platform? I will take it, Wells Fargo. Generally, the reaction I get ... is people want to tell me how much they want to do phone sex or how they think they’re great at phone sex. That’s really annoying. Nobody who is a published poet wants to hear about the poem you wrote in ninth grade, you know. I don’t want to hear about your phone sex with your boyfriend. I do something very different from what they’re talking about. How do you explain those differences between significant others having phone sex versus what you do? Sera: I can be pretty aggressive, as you can probably tell already (laughs), so I’ll just re-steer the conversation. But if someone was authentically engaging with me about it , what’s distinctive is that I’m the professional and I always have to keep professional boundaries. It’s a power differential versus a relationship in which you’re engaging together. ... I’ve had clients with me for the entire 17 years I’ve done this. I have clients who go through divorces, who call because they’ve lost a pet, who lose a parent. I definitely get emotionally engaged, but I’m a professional. It’s always my job to take their need and repackage something back to them that helps

them. I had a client, he’s in his 80s, and he had an old lover die. He had been deeply in love with this woman, and he spent two hours reading me their old love letters and talking about her. It was magical. I actually was able (after) to give him even better fantasy (play) because I feel more connected to that person. But if you don’t want to listen to your partner wax philosophic about their ex for two hours, that’s a little different. How long did it take for you to feel like you really like you honed your craft? Sera: About 10 years, and I actually distinctively felt a shift when I really mastered the art of phone sex. Clients I’ve had for a long time commented on it. They would say, ‘You’ve always been good but something’s different.’ And part of it is I got more confident. I would say I put in my 10,000 hours both in doing phone sex and being part of the BDSM community and engaging with alternative sexuality in so many different avenues. I did that Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hours thing. You can do it faster or you could do it slower, but it’s the 10,000 hours. Can you tell me a little bit about how you went from working for this company (People Exchanging Power) to owning it? What was that journey like? Sera: I came to work here in 2002 when I moved to New Mexico ... and I did this very much on the side until I finished graduate school. Then I decided to do phone sex full time. I also always did book editing on the side, up until a handful of years ago. In 2014, the then-owner approached me about buying the company and she had an offer. We over time refined that offer and I took ownership on December 8 of 2015. Do you have any favorite aspects of your work? Sera: I will say that I feel off-kilter if I haven’t done a call in a few days. So, even if something else is more immediately engaging or pleasurable – like giving a talk to a certain group of people or something – phone sex, that’s the meat. When somebody calls me and trusts me, and I can take them somewhere that helps them release their stress or anxiety or makes them feel safe. Any-

thing where I get to help people feel safe and less ashamed is the best part of what I get to do with my life. What are some misconceptions that people have about you and your work? Sera: That we’re all sitting in some kind of warehouse going ‘OOO’ and ‘AHH’ talking about blow jobs. Different companies are different. There’s not many companies left that do exactly what we do. To my knowledge, there’s nobody left who does exactly what we do ... our ladies all use their real pictures. They’re authentic about their interests and their areas of expertise. And, you know, we dial it up. Like, I’m not that into feminization, but I’m very knowledgeable about it. One of our rules is you cannot lie. You cannot pretend to know something you don’t. You have to be honest about what you do and don’t know. A lot of the misconceptions is that all phone sex is the quick 900-number. Those services exist for a reason. People have needs that are being met. But that’s not what we do here at PEP. We engage with people who get vulnerable with us, who are looking to engage with somebody for not just one or two calls, but sometimes just 15 or hundreds or thousands of times. What’s your best advice for people that are new to the BDSM scene? Sera: Make friends first. I actually have a stock thing I say about this, because I say it almost every time I teach. My biggest piece of advice can be distilled down to never let your desperation override your common sense. I talk to people about how most of us in this community have had these desires for so long. People come into this community between the ages of 25 and 80, or even older. You’ve had these desires for so long and they’ve been unsatiated and you felt shame, and you’re finally shucking it off and taking these steps out. And you’re so hungry that you can make some really poor decisions about your own safety and emotional security. So, if you find friends first, these are people with whom you can learn the lingo, you can bounce ideas off of, and then if and when – and it’s when – something goes wrong in a scene, in a relationship and play, then you have people to talk to. Make friends first. What do you tell people about learning and having

boundaries and being safe? Sera: For anybody who is female identified, or was assigned female at birth, or in some way socialized female, we’re taught from the get-go that we’re not supposed to have boundaries if they interfere with anybody else’s desires. There’s a lot to overcome there. It’s daily practice. It’s hard to go to the doctor and say, ‘No, that’s not quite what’s wrong. I don’t feel like you’re listening to me.’ It’s even harder when we’re trying to get a need met that the entire culture tells us to be shameful about. A lot of the stuff that I recommend to folks is to, in relationships, constantly re-engage. Constantly re-negotiate. Everything is negotiable. The most amazing thing about being part of an alternative sexuality community like BDSM, especially BDSM with power exchange, is that in cis hetero-normative patriarchal relationships, gendered expectations are what controls everything. We’ve all internalized that. We have to be conscientious about it, but we can renegotiate everything. Nothing’s assumed. That’s a lot of work. It’s a lot of self work to figure out what you actually want, and then do the work of being able to actually communicate it to somebody else and deal with them sometimes not receiving it or using it against you. But that’s the best part. You get to create the dynamic that you desire, and you can reshape it all the time. How long did it take you to get to the point where you felt comfortable, like backing out of a situation that you felt disrespected or unsafe? Sera: It’s still a battle. There are arenas of my life where if you eff with my kid, it’s done. If it has to do with my business, I’m very aggressive about it. But it’s not like I don’t sometimes go out in public and have somebody act in a way that’s inappropriate to me and just say, ‘I can’t deal with it today.’ Misogyny is everywhere. Racism is everywhere. I’m Iranian-American, and I have carried my passport on my person since Trump was elected. I saw in your bio that you identify as a demisexual. For people who don’t know what that means, can you explain that and how it plays into your work? Sera: I feel like the Asexual and Aromantic spectrum are this amazing new

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frontier to understanding ourselves and our sexuality and our orientation. And I think, I’m going to go out and say this, I’m sure people will disagree now but not in 20 years, that they’re more critical of those orientations than what we’ve been taught as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, that are being used as critical lenses for understanding ourselves.

If it’s class-gated, then it’s white supremacist-gated, and then it’s hetero-patriarchal-gated, and all those systems work together to maintain their supremacy. Even if people, us underlings, felt differently, the people in power would still be able to destroy somebody’s life and reputation.

When I first read about demisexuality I thought it was ridiculous and I made fun of it, and then I was like, ‘Why do I have these strong feelings? Oh, because I relate to this.’ In the Aspectrum there are folks who are Asexual to gray Asexual, and demisexual is down in that gray area.

I know folks in academia who are afraid to come out as poly. Who are completely heterosexual, who are white, who have a decent bit of money, but they’re poly and that’s awful. But they’re terrified that they would lose their work, their reputation, because they’d like to have a relationship with more than one person at a time. That’s messed up and if that’s still happening ... it’s not going to be any easier for a woman of color who is bisexual doing sex work.

It essentially means that I don’t feel primary sexual attraction unless I form an emotional bond. And we’re taught that that’s actually how you’re supposed to be. But that’s not how most people experience (it). Primary sexual attraction means you’re in the grocery store, and somebody walks by and you like something on their body, and you have a reaction in your genitals. I don’t experience that. I’ve experienced that twice in my entire life, and those two experiences were so weird and so uncomfortable. But then I talked to other folks and they were like, ‘Well, yeah, sometimes you’re just picking up fish sticks and all of a sudden you’re wet.’ I don’t know if you remember this, but about 10 years ago there was a whole debacle where the University of New Mexico found out that one of their professors, Lisa D. Chávez, was working as a sex worker on the side, going by the name of Mistress Jade. People freaked out. Do you think if a similar situation happened today that the reaction would be similar? Do you think that we’ve come a long ways in terms of accepting alternative sex lifestyles? Or do you think there’s still a lot of the same kind of mentality? Sera: That was also personal to me and traumatized me personally, so it’s hard for me to comment on that with any kind of impartiality. I don’t know. I think that academia is still very much run by a hetero-patriarchal system, by a white supremacist system that it couldn’t unfold very differently until those structures are dismantled.

This is kind of a turn from what we were talking about, but I saw that you had worked on the first pornographic computer game, “Bonetown.” What was that experience like? Sera: So fun. It was really, really fun. Basically, this guy who’s a trust-fund kid wanted to create a pornographic video game, and he wanted to create a fun working experience that paid well for his friends. And you know, this is not common, I think, in the world. He and his friends brought their skill sets together and then I found the job. I think I was looking on sexyjobs.com, where I looked periodically.

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[comedy]

TELLURIDE COMEDY FESTIVAL

Comedy giants Nick Kroll and Jason Mantzoukas among performers The Telluride Comedy Festival is bringing out the big guns for their annual laugh fest. Comedy giants Nick Kroll – creator of Netflix’s “Big Mouth” – and festival veteran Jason Mantzoukas are among those who will perform at the 20th annual show Feb. 14-17 at the Sheridan Opera House in Telluride, Colorado. The festival will be hosted by Jeb Berrier – former Telluride thespian now based in Portland, Oregon, comedian, former Shakespeare in the Park director, and SOH Second Stage Theater director and actor. These are the festival performers attendees can expect to get a laugh in with:

Nick Kroll Nick Kroll is the co-creator, writer, and producer of the Netflix animated series “Big Mouth,” for which he voices numerous roles, including the lead character. Season 2 premiered on Netflix on Oct. 5 and is 100 percent fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. Additionally, on behalf of the series, Kroll was nominated for a 2018 Gotham Award for “Breakthrough Series – Long Form.” Kroll recently starred in Chris Weitz’s “Operation Finale,” opposite Oscar Isaac and Ben Kingsley for MGM and Jeff Nichols’ “Loving,” opposite Joel Edgerton and Ruth Negga for Focus Features. Kroll made his Broadway debut with the successful and critically acclaimed show “Oh Hello on Broadway.” The play was filmed and premiered on Netflix in 2017. Kroll’s other film credits include: “Uncle Drew,” opposite NBA star Kyrie Irving; “Sausage Party” with Seth Rogen; and “Sing” with Reese Witherspoon, Scarlett Johansson, and Matthew McConaughey. On television, Nick had his own Comedy Central sketch show, “Kroll Show,” and starred as Ruxin on FX’s “The League.”

Jason Mantzoukas This marks Jason Mantzoukas’ 13th consecutive Telluride Comedy Festival. Credits include: “The Long Dumb Road,” which premiered at Sundance Film Festival; “The House” with Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell; “Brooklyn 99;” “The League; “Baby Mama;” “Neighbors;” HBO’s “Enlightened;” “The

Dictator;” “Drunk History;” “Parks and Recreation;” “Transparent;” “Children’s Hospital;” “Kroll Show;” “The Good Place;” “Big Mouth;” the upcoming “John Wick 3;” and more.

Canadian comedy festivals. She should be famous by now, but whatever.

Lily Sullivan Lily Sullivan is a comedian/ actor/writer who grew up in Telluride and Chicago. She performed for the Second City and iO Theater in Chicago before moving to L.A. in 2015. Lily was a part of JFL New Faces Characters showcase in Montreal in 2016. She wrote and starred in her own web series for Project Runway Way called “Project Sammy’s Way.” Her credits include “Comedy Bang Bang!;” “Jake and Amir’s Lonely and Horny;” “SHRINK;” and the upcoming Netflix sketch show “I Think You Should Leave.” She also recently made a blurry appearance in the background of a UPS commercial.

Matt Braunger Matt Braunger has performed his stand-up act on television programs such as “The Late Show” with David Letterman;” “The Tonight Show” with Conan O’Brien; John Oliver’s “New York Stand-Up Show;” “Live at Gotham” on Comedy Central; as well as his own Comedy Central Presents special.

Brian Huskey Brian Huskey is an actor, writer, producer, and improviser performing for more than 20 years of at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. As a series regular, Huskey most recently played Richard Schultz, the alien paranoid divorcee’, on the TBS series “People of Earth.” Huskey also created, wrote and starred in the darkly hilarious specials “Mr. Neighbor’s House” and “Mr. Neighbor’s House 2.” Best described as a David Lynchstyle children’s show, “Mr. Neighbor’s House” was voted as a New York Times “Best of” for 2016. In 2014, Brian played the lead and co-wrote with costar and director Matt Walsh in “A Better You,” about a self-help hypnotist whose own life is falling apart. He can be seen in hit films such as “Step Brothers;” “This is the End;” “Neighbors;” “Neighbor’s 2;” “The Disaster Artist;” and most recently in Marvel’s “Ant-Man and the Wasp.” Huskey lends his talents as a recurring character to a sea of celebrated shows. He voices Regular Sized Rudy, Rudy’s father Sylvester, and other voices on Fox’s “Bob’s Burgers.” On “Children’s Hospital” he played Chet, a kind but suspected serial killer EMT, and will soon be Chet again in the upcoming Netflix series “Medical Police.” Most recently, Huskey wrapped his seventh season as Leon West, the cruel and snide Washington Post reporter on HBO’s “Veep.” Huskey has also been described as a bald Jason Lee. He lives in Los Angeles with his daughter and four dogs.

Tim Baltz Seth Morris Seth Morris is an actor and writer with recurring roles on “Veep;” “Curb Your Enthusiasm;” “Parks And Recreation;” “The Good Place;” and “The League.” He’s also appeared on “Modern Family;” “Broad City;” and “Kroll Show,” among others. Writing credits include “Funny Or Die;” “Children’s Hospital;” “Kroll Show;” “The Eric Andre Show;” and “The MTV Movie Awards.”

Rebecca Kohler When not writing for CBS’s hit comedy series, “Happy Together,” Canadian Comedy Award winner Rebecca Kohler takes to demolishing stand-up stages in both Canada and the U.S. while balancing an innate benevolence with a tongue like an acid attack. Toronto’s Best Female Comic (NOW Magazine) has had her own half-hour special for the Comedy Network; multiple televised appearances at the Montreal Just For Laughs Festival; her own one-hour show at Toronto’s JFL42; several TV tapings at the Winnipeg Comedy Festival; Halifax Comedy Festival; Moncton Comedy Festival; and several other

Tim Baltz is an actor and producer known for “Bajillion Dollar Propertie$” (2016); “Shrink” (2017); and “The Second City Project” (2015).

Thursday Locals’ Night Locals’ Night is when the festival pays tribute to the hard-working, and not-so-hard-working, people of Telluride.

Stand Up & Sketch Friday Stand-up comedy with Matt Braunger and Rebecca Kohler, and an improv set from some of the very best in the business.

Sketch & Improv Saturday Whatever happens will be simply amazing and hilarious with the best of the best.

Stand Up & Improv Sunday Stand up comedy with Nick Kroll, followed by a grand finale long-form improv set to end the weekend. —— Amanda Push

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[advice]

MAN SEEKING WOMAN Rocky Road | Katie Burford

How do I talk to my partner about polyamory? I have always been a bit of a free spirit, and I want to talk to my partner about the idea of exploring a non-monogamous relationship. To be blunt, I want to open our relationship up to other partners – but I’m afraid if I suggest this, my partner will get upset. How do I approach the subject without ruining what we have together? Only wants to be monogamish Lately I’ve been under the thrall of the teachings of Buddhism and evolutionary psychology because together they seem to contain the explanation and solution to just about every challenge we humans face. Let’s see if they elucidate your situation: First, from an evolutionary standpoint, it makes perfect sense that you would want to explore polyamory because more partners means more chances to spread your genes around. I assume, in your situation, procreation isn’t the point, but it is for your monkey mind, which is the seat of your sex drive. But you are not a monkey, you are a human, and the reason we out-developed the apes is because we figured out how to form complex social units. These units were necessary to rear human young, which remain helpless and dependent for longer than any other mammal. Being human means being wired to form strong and lasting bonds with a small clan. Problem for you is you’ve now got two foundational drives at war. You want sexual novelty, but pursuing it could disrupt an important bond. Your cerebral cortex, the youngest part of the brain evolutionarily speaking, steps in to try to mediate. In your case, it proposes giving both monkey and clan minds what they want. Before I continue, I want to drill down on the interaction between these brain parts. First, there are the forceful

but competing drives: Spread genes! vs. Stay with clan to avoid being eaten by lions! The mechanism these drives use to get you to do their bidding is emotions. What happens next is something that evolutionary psychology is just beginning to grasp, but Buddhism has understood for a long time: your higher mind doesn’t actually adjudicate between the two and select the more meritorious (or tell them both to hush up). Rather, it provides a framework for giving the loudest of the two what it wants. Or, even better, a rationalization for giving both of them what they want. So, knowing as we now do, that our drives steer our emotions which in turn drive our reasoning, we can use this insight to interrogate our motives and hopefully make good decisions. In your case, it seems worth examining what you expect adding partners will do for you. As you are considering that, keep in mind that it is never the nature of drives to remain satisfied. In fact, our brains are designed to make the reward just pleasurable enough to keep us wanting more. Kind of perverse, no? In my life I’ve only known two committed couples who acted on their polyamorous intentions. In both cases, the original relationship did not survive the adventure. Which wasn’t actually a bad thing, but it did lead to some hurt feelings. Relationships are messy with just two humans — add a third, fourth, or fifth, and the odds for drama rises exponentially. That could be exciting or exhausting depending on your perspective. The perspective of the Buddha would be that a spirit that is hostage to the whims of its drives isn’t really free. Katie Burford has worked as a social worker, journalist, university instructor, nanny and barista. These days, she’s a mom, professional ice cream maker and writer. Reach her at rockyroad@dgomag. com, @rockyroadadvice (Twitter) or Rocky Road, 1021 Main Ave, Durango, CO 81301.

My name is Frank, 62 years old, 5’10 tall. I am a happy, good looking, funny, loving, clear thinking and responsible individual who values morality. I am also a very motivated person who enjoys having positive effects in every room I am in. First, I want to love again a woman who is at least similar to me in her attitude, morals, and values, yet independent, who is passionate about life and has the heart to love again. Age preference 51 - 69 years old. My e-mail is fkurt0215@hotmail.com

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Gettin' down and dirty with a New Mexico sex worker