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What’s inside

DGO Magazine

STAFF

Volume 5 Number 7 Thursday, March 26, 2020

Editor

Get your Phyx

Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551 Staff writer

Wanna drink a THC-infused sparkling water? Of course you do. Check out Phyx Water, which we tried in dragonfruit. And yes, it was every bit as good as it sounds.

Nick Gonzales ngonzales@durangoherald.com Sales Chandler Sommerfeldt csommerfeldt@bcimedia.com 375-4553 Contributors Erin Brandt Megan Bianco Laraina Hailey

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From the blog

5

From the editor

6

Church of Cannabis

7 Weed

Cannabis and coronavirus 7

Survival kits

9

Get Outta Town

Intl Church of Cannabis 9

10 Weird news

Amanda Push

Design/layout Tracie Louck

Drugs and felonies

Reader Services

11 Drink

375-4570

Chief Executive Officer V.P. of Advertising Jamie Opalenik

8 COVID-19 survival kits, now with weed!

DGO is a free biweekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

art en drin tertai nm km usic ent fo nigh od tlife

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So you’ve got COVID-19, or you’re worried about catching it, or you’re one of the few survivors of the coronavirus apocalypse, trying to piece together how society collapsed and you’re wondering whether cannabis could have helped treat or prevent the spread of the disease.

DG O

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7 Coronavirus ... and cannabis?

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FROM THE BLOG

»» News from our site on the interwebs you may have missed Save the local musicians Unless you’re just coming out of a coma, you probably already know: Everything sucks right now. COVID-19 is taking its toll on humanity, bringing down our collective morale and hurting millions of people financially.

Among all the industries taking a hit are the performing arts. Whether you’re on Broadway or playing weeknights at the local pub, gigs and tours are canceled.

And if you rely on those to survive, like many a local musician, you’re probably wondering how you’re going to sustain yourself until the end of the crisis.

In Durango, the iAM Music Institute is creating the Four Corners Performing Artist Relief fund through GoFundMe. As soon as it has raised at least $2,000, musicians within 100 miles of Durango will be able to apply for financial help, says Alissa Wolf, executive director of iAM Music.

“They’ll basically fill out the application and explain to us how many gigs are »» Cutlines goes here xyxyxyxyxyxyxyxyx canceled, how much they normally rely on gig income versus how much they had of us sane by giving us art to fill our souls as a loss because of this so far,” she says. in a time too many are trapped at home “And then ... based on need, we’ll start binging Netflix. allocating money to musicians in the Four Fans of musicians can help them out Corners as much as we can as it comes in.” by straight-up donating to them.

In the meantime, the institute itself, “If you know a musician, and they’re which provides music lessons and hosts struggling, and this goes on for more events to showcase local musicians, is than another month, maybe throw them closing its doors and is looking to move a gift card or 50 bucks cash,” Wolf says. as much online as possible. This may Buying their music and merch also involve not only online lessons, but a can’t hurt. Neither can the simple act of series of virtual student showcases, a digital continuation of iAM’s songwriting not asking for a refund. nights and the like, Wolf said. Like many “If you bought tickets to shows, a lot of nonprofits, iAM is doing everything it venues are saying, instead of asking for can to avoid laying off employees. a refund, donate your ticket if you can afford to ... because it either goes to the In general, she says, there are a numartist or it goes to the venue,” Wolf says. ber of things that bands can be doing to connect with audiences and the money If nothing else, just be careful and they’re losing out on during the coronafollow the rules to avoid the spread of virus scare. the coronavirus.

The Stillhouse Junkies, the roots band “The sooner we can get over the hump, for which Wolf plays fiddle, for examthe sooner musicians can go back to work,” ple, is launching a Patreon service that she says, exasperated. “But if people keep fans can to subscribe to for exclusive being idiots ... and people are ignoring the content and perks. The band, which rules, they’re going to keep spreading this was supposed to head overseas for a shit, and it’s going to elongate into the tour through the United Kingdom, is summer, which is going to affect festivals. also planning to host a virtual show at 5 ... People, can you just be smart please?” p.m. March 25 through Facebook Live —— Nick Gonzales (admission is free, but donations will be What films to watch in the accepted). midst of a global pandemic Performing online not only puts musicians out there, but also keeps the rest

In addition to everything else happen-

Courtesy of Stillhouse Junkies

ing in the world right now because of the global pandemic, the film industry is basically going on hiatus until at least May. Not only are major releases such as “A Quiet Place Part II” and the new “Mulan” being postponed, all studio productions are being postponed as well. This is truly an unprecedented event in pop culture and human history.

Especially as a film critic, this means going long periods of time without any new movies to discuss.

For home viewing recently, Steven Soderbergh’s sci-fi thriller “Contagion” has blown up on streaming sites this past month with eerie relevance to current events. As good as the movie is, I struggle to see the appeal of wanting to watch something like that in the middle of a real-life health crisis. The same goes for other dystopian films like “Perfect Sense” and “Children of Men.” Instead, I recommend some more light-hearted and feel-good movies, starting with some basics like films that always cheer me up when I’m down. My favorite movie of all time is the classic romantic comedy “Annie Hall,” which unfortunately has been tainted by the personal life of its writer-director-star, Woody Allen. I can still “separate the art from the artist” – though that might not be true of every viewer. This is also the

case for other Woody Allen comedies I love, including “Love and Death,” “Manhattan,” and “Midnight in Paris.”

The rest of my top 10 includes classics like Disney’s “Beauty & the Beast,” “The Wizard of Oz,” “ET: the Extra-Terrestrial,” and “A Hard Day’s Night.” Musicals, especially family appropriate ones, are generally good for pick-me-up material.

Faves like “Meet Me in St. Louis,” “Singin’ in the Rain,” “Mary Poppins,” and “The Sound of Music” are usually popular for this reason. While “Chicago” isn’t necessarily family-friendly, it’s high up there for me, as far as movie musicals go.

Comedy is another perfect genre for light content, whether classic comedies like “Bringing Up Baby,” “Blazing Saddles,” and “Caddyshack” or cult classics like “There’s Something About Mary,” “Zoolander,” and “Horrible Bosses.” Or teen movies, which are often a rather nostalgic comedy subgenre with hits such as “Clueless,” “Bring It On,” and “Superbad” — and romantic comedies like “The Philadelphia Story,” “Sleepless in Seattle,” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”

The next eight weeks are going to be interesting, to say the very least, but maybe we can distract ourselves from the chaos with some upbeat films.

—— Megan Bianco

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[weed]

SHOW TIMES GOOD 3/13 - 3/19

A note about Cannabis Crawl, this issue, and life in general Hey there, friends.

I’ve been trying to think of what to say in this note for the past few days, but the only thing that comes to mind is, “This sucks.”

As you may have guessed, we’re having to put the temporary kibosh on DGO’s annual Cannabis Crawl thanks to the nasty virus that’s been ravaging not only our nation, but our world. I know, I know. Having a temporary setback is a small price to pay for people to stay healthy, and I totally agree. But that doesn’t make it suck less. This is unabashedly our favorite issue of the year, and we really do look forward to the crawl, so it’s a bummer. We like giving away prizes, hanging out with you guys, and causing general madness for a few hours at the after party.

But while it sucks for us, what is way more important is how this is sucking for our local businesses, all of the people affected by the virus — the ones who were laid off, the ones who are sick, and the ones who are just worried about what happens next. There are so many unknowns.

We can’t answer that. And that also sucks. We like to bring you answers when we can — and not just about aliens or conspiracy theories, either.

Sometimes we’re pretty good at answering other questions, too. But this is one question we can’t answer. No one can. Not yet, anyway.

What we can do, though, is run this issue — which would have been the big, messy Cannabis Crawl issue full of ads, deals, stories, and a map — using the stories that we had slated to run.

We’re doing that for a few reasons. The first I’ll be quite frank about: this virus pandemic hit so hard and fast that our writers weren’t able to safely find new stories to report on prior to deadline, so we did what we could to salvage it.

The other reason, though, which is arguably the more of the two, is that the Colorado dispensaries are still open for business in the midst of this madness — and we want to support them how we can. While businesses alter their plans or close their doors (through no fault of their own, obviously), our friends at the dispensaries in

our coverage areas are still at it — still slinging bud over the counter, despite the risks that come with working with the public right now.

True ass heroes keeping you guys stoned in the midst of the pandemic.

We respect that.

So, for that reason we felt it was important to continue this issue as planned. And hopefully it will not only remind you of the beauty of weed, but will also be a good brain break from the things that are raging around you.

It’s important to stay up to date on the news, but it’s also important to do what you can for your own mental health.

Maybe this little weed-filled distraction will help.

Inside, you’ll find a magazine devoted to the sticky icky — stories about using weed in a COVID-19 survival kit, tales of the famous Colorado 420 mile marker, and some info about the International Church of Cannabis. There are also stories of what it takes to make the perfect edible, and plenty of reviews so you’ll know what to order next time you pop over to the dispensary.

We sincerely hope you enjoy it. By the way, stay safe out there. Hunker down, try to support local from afar, enjoy the inside of your humble abode, and prepare for some serious Netflix binges — hopefully with some grub from a local eatery that’s risking their buns to bring you food stuffs. We need you to be nice and healthy for the rescheduled Cannabis Crawl, which has been rescheduled to June xxxx. We’ll have more details as we get closer.

Oh, and wash your hands. And be nice to the people who are stuck working so you have food, booze, weed, and healthcare during this tumultuous time. Seriously. They deserve all your respect.

Anyway, smoke ’em if you got ’em.

And if you don’t got ’em, this issue will tell you how to resolve that, even in the midst of a medical crises.

All my best.

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dgomag

—— Angelica Leicht

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[weed]

The International Church of Cannabis is exactly what it sounds like » The Denver house of worship features pot-based services, trippy visuals and 420-themed holidays For at least 3,500 years, cannabis has been used as an enethogen, a chemical substance used in religious and spiritual contexts. While the religions that prohibit the use of intoxicating substances also tend to fall on the anti-weed side of the spectrum, others — from ancient, Vedic-period India to modern-day Rastafari — have considered it a sacred plant. Denver’s International Church of Cannabis belongs very much to the latter group.

The headquarters of the non-profit religious organization Elevation Ministries opened, naturally, on April 20, 2017.

“It’s exactly what is says on the label there,” said co-founder Lee Molloy. “It’s a church of cannabis with an international following.”

The church has all the services that you’d find in a typical church – Sunday services, weddings, end of life ceremonies, and the like – but feature the use of marijuana as an overarching motif. The mission of the church, Molloy said, is to give a home to people who use cannabis as part of their spiritual life.

“Ritual mindful use of cannabis can help open up ideas; it can help break down the barriers that we have placed upon us as children,” he said. “It can really, ultimately help us achieve our spiritual goals, and that’s where we went with that, in a way that was accessible and not too scary to regular people.”

Courtesy of the International Church of Cannabis

» The International Church of Cannabis is a house of worship dedicated to – you guessed it – marijuana-based spiritual practice.

The church came to exist because its founders had the opportunity to purchase the building — a former Lutheran church that had stood at 400 South Logan Street since the early 20th century. After purchasing it, the founders of Elevationism, the religion practiced by the church, transformed its interior into a Technicolor temple with psychedelic rainbow-colored murals painted by Spanish artist Okuda San Miguel.

for Elevationists for obvious reasons.

In addition to feeding the homeless, members of the church have organized drives to give warm winter clothing to those experiencing homelessness, to gather toys for children in hospitals during Christmas, and to clean up the neighborhood’s streets.

Elevationists, which span as many as 100 countries, don’t conform to the stoner stereotype – though, as Molloy said, neither do most stoners.

“Just because it’s a church doesn’t mean it has to be dowdy and dull and boring,” Molloy said. “There can be happiness, there can be joy, there can be beauty, there can be fun and excitement. And I think the love and respect that we have for our community and the colors which represent multiculturalism is all right there as part of our church.”

Elevationism doesn’t require that its members convert to the religion and features no divine law, unquestionable doctrine or authoritarian organizational structure. Its members can double dip and be members of other religions as well.

“The most important ritual that we have is the lighting of a candle. We have a ritual candle that we light at the beginning of every service, and we say a meditational prayer that basically brings everyone into there. Then, as part of that, there’s the ceremonial sharing of the joints and passing around cannabis and really connecting on that level so that people sort of create and share communally.”

Elevationists celebrate a number of existing hol-

idays with their own twist. For instance, the Jewish Courtesy of the International Church of Cannabis

»» The building that houses the Elevationist headquarters in Denver spent most of its life as a Lutheran Church.

members of the church are planning a Bob Marley Seder to begin Passover. There’s also turkey-centric Danksgiving feast, for which the church invites the homeless and others in need, and Festivus, a Christmas-time replacement for people who don’t celebrate traditional holidays. April 20 is also an important date

“The way that stoners are portrayed in the media is moronic and unrealistic for the most part, and it is a very low level of understanding of what using cannabis is, especially whether you’re using it for health purposes, mental health purposes, or spiritual health purposes. All of those are gone when it comes to representation in the media,” he said. “There are many good people out here, working hard to change the perception of what it means to use cannabis and how it can be used in serious ways, not just to get high – although there’s nothing wrong with that either.”

The International Church of Cannabis is open to the public 1 to 4 p.m. Monday through Thursday and from noon to 6 p.m. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for the Beyond Experience, a guided meditation and laser-light show (because of course they have a laser-light show).

For more information, call (303) 630-9500 or visit elevationists.org.

—— Nick Gonzales

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[weed]

Can cannabis help with the prevention and symptoms of coronavirus? » Weed can offer mild relief for flu-like symptoms, but don’t smoke it So you’ve got COVID-19, or you’re worried about catching it, or you’re one of the few survivors of the coronavirus apocalypse reading a scrap of this article, trying to piece together how society collapsed and you’re wondering whether cannabis could have helped treat or prevent the spread of the disease.

It’s not the weirdest question. After all, medical marijuana is used to treat a number of conditions, from Alzheimer’s disease to cancer to multiple sclerosis. Research suggests that cannabinoids reduce anxiety, inflammation, and pain. But can they help you fight off a virus?

The problem with answering that question is that there’s not a ton of research on the use of cannabis in treating diseases in general, let alone coronavirus.

However, the symptoms of COVID-19 are not entirely unlike the flu, and there’s some assumptions you can make based on that comparison. And some of it is pretty common sense. (But keep in mind that we’re not doctors here at DGO – if you’re legit worried about something, you should contact a medical professional.)

When it comes to controlling the spread of disease, maybe put an indefinite hiatus on sharing bongs, joints, and pipes with others. You’re not being stingy by not puffing and passing if it keeps us all alive. And if you absolutely have to share, say, a pipe, the Willa-

mette Week points out its probably worth waving a lighter under the mouthpiece before passing it. Using alcohol wipes to sterilize pipes and bongs between users also isn’t a bad idea, according to Josh Jardine of the Portland Mercury.

And wash your goddamn hands, you dirty heathens.

But should you put a damper on your cannabis consumption? Probably not. Stress impacts your immune system, lowering your body’s ability to fight off illnesses, including viruses. And what’s, like, the one thing that we pretty much know weed can do? Reduce stress. If you’re not sick, smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em.

If you’re sick, though, hold off at least on the smoking part. In addition to fever, the symptoms of coronavirus are cough and shortness of breath, said the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Smoking anything – not just cannabis – will irritate your respiratory system and exacerbate those symptoms, so find another method of consuming whatever cannabis you’re planning to take.

Consuming cannabis through other means, however, might provide mild relief for flu-like symptoms. The CBD in marijuana has been found to reduce self-harming autoimmune and inflammatory responses, said the Week. It can also open the airways of the lungs by re-

laxing bronchial muscles. Vaporizing a CBD-rich flower with alpha-pinene in its terpene profile (and which smells like evergreen trees) might be in order.

CBD is also popular for its effectiveness at reducing pain, which could come in handy if you’re feeling like you have the flu. The Week said products made with the whole plant, not just the CBD, are more effective here if you’re in the market for edibles or topicals.

That advice to gather 30-day supplies of anything you’re going to need applies to cannabis as well, said Jardine, so it may be worth stocking up.

—— Nick Gonzales

A mental health survival guide for COVID-19 Tips for not losing your gotdanged mind during this pandemic You’re probably a wee bit sick of hearing about COVID-19 (aka coronavirus, aka ), at this point and truth be told so are we. But since literally everything is shutting down, everyone is working from home, and life as we know it has been canceled until further notice there’s really no getting around it.

In the name of being a good person, we’re encouraging you to social distance and stay at home as much as you can.

But we also realize that’s kind of a bummer. So, we’ve reached a compromise.

Here’s a bunch of random things you can do to entertain yourself while stuck at home that isn’t just “cook more” and “cry into your pillow.”

Smoke so much weed you wouldn’t believe

COVID-19? More like COVID-420!

Amirite, guys? GUYS?! But seriously, guys. Stop hoarding toilet paper and start stocking up on rolling paper. But not too much. Leave some for the rest of us.

On the upside, by continuing to purchase weed you are thereby supporting local businesses AND by the time you inevitably go insane from the boredom of never leaving your home, you won’t care because you’ll be very stoned.

Listen to Lizzo play the flute Lizzo is the hero we don’t deserve, but she’s the hero we need. If you’re super stressed about all this and not even your weed stash is helping, take a moment to listen to a meditative flute sesh with the queen of woodwind-instrument twerking herself.

Solve a cold case Put all that free time to good use and figure out who killed Jon Benet Ramsey.

Seriously. We want to know.

There are so many unsolved Colorado cold cases and maybe all it will take to bring them peace is for your bored ass to stop watching “American Dad” long enough to put your detective cap on.

Go on Disney rides Bummed you’re missing out on your spring break trip? Well, we have sort of good news! You can take Disney rides!

Don’t get too excited though because they’re literally just videos of Disney rides ... but who’s to say you won’t be bored enough NOT to try them?

Now is the time to visit Disney (virtually, of course) when prices are cheaper

than ever. Free! All thanks to accounts like SoCal Attractions 360, Adventures in VR, and TouringPlans, you can now tell all your great-grandchildren that you went to Disney when the coronavirus hit.

In the mood for something classic?

How about a spin on It’s a Small World or Mystic Manor? Or maybe you’re in the mood for something a little more modern like Frozen or Hotel Transylvania?

Contact these jerk-off government officials Like Mr. Rogers said, you should always look for the helpers in times of crisis but you should also look for the asshats. Here are a few shitty ways government officials are taking advantage of the coronavirus crisis and/or just being Continued on Page 8

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[weed]

Three great works of literature, almost certainly influenced by cannabis consumption Alcott likely enjoyed hashish; Dumas for sure did; and Sagan used reefer to view the stars rope like France, Spain, or England, but king of the world, king of the universe, king of creation; without bowing at the feet of Satan, you will be king and master of all the kingdoms of the earth.”

It’s no secret that literary genius has frequently throughout history been paired with an altered state of mind.

Ernest Hemingway has alcohol, Samuel Taylor Coleridge had opium, and Hunter S. Thompson had a cornucopia of psychotropic substances. As such, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that cannabis was involved with more than a few great works of literature.

So ... Dumas was totally gaga for ganja.

“Cosmos,” by Carl Sagan

Here are three of our favorites: “Little Women,” by Louisa May Alcott Yes, you read that right. While we all know Alcott for the semi-autobiographical coming-of-age tale “Little Women,” the author was a bit edgier than you’d think. Her most popular novel only came to exist because her publisher pressured her to write a children’s book – at the time, Alcott was publishing what she called “blood and thunder” stories. In the words of the Los Angeles Times, these stories, published under the pseudonym “A.M. Barnard,” revolved around “hashish, transvestitism, sadomasochism, violence and feminism.”

Do we know for a fact, that Alcott herself was a fan of the hash? No. After all, she eventually joined the temperance movement. But earlier in her life, she published works like “Perilous Play.”

Essentially the 1869 (also the year “Little Women” was finished) version of a stoner comedy, it follows a group of young socialites who eat some hashish-infused bon bons – edibles, basically – and have a short adventure, with the protagonist and her love interest eventually emerging from their shells and confessing their feelings for each other.

A doctor in the story describes the effect of the bonbons as such: “A heavenly dreaminess comes over one, in which From Page 7

terrible humans in general.

Ohio’s Attorney General Dave Yost ordered the halt of all abortion procedures.

Republicans Richard Burr, Kelly Loeffler, and James Inhofe and Democrat Dianne Feinstein allegedly may have been involved in some insider trading after they made a whole lotta money

they move as if on air. Everything is calm and lovely to them: no pain, no care, no fear of anything, and while it lasts one feels like an angel half asleep.” It’s also worth noting that story ends with the love interest declaring, “Heaven bless hashish, if its dreams end like this!”

Would the young Alcott, who modeled independent, rebellious Jo after herself, have been a fan of modern sticky icky?

We’ll let you decide as you blaze one for poor, sickly Beth.

“The Count of Monte Cristo,”

by Alexandre Dumas At the turn of the nineteenth century, France sent the Armée d’Orient to the Egypt to bar a route by which Great Britain might reach its colonies in India.

With them went a contingent of 151 scientists, anthropologists, and artists to study the Orient. When they returned to Europe, they brought with them a whole bunch of recreational drugs, including opium and hashish. One of the generals in the military force was Thomas-Alexandre Dumas Davy de la Pailleterie, aka by selling off their stocks real early on to avoid a hit to their bank accounts as a result of COVID-19. According to the BBC, “it’s illegal for Congress members to trade based on non-public information gathered during their official duties.”

The Idaho Senate recently passed an anti-trans bill which was sponsored

by Rep. Barbara Ehardt.

Gov. Andrew Cuomo had the bright

Alexandre Dumas – father to the author of the same name.

In 1844, the same year he published “The Count of Monte Cristo” and “The Three Musketeers,” the younger Dumas joined the Club des Hashischins.

Members included a number of famous authors, including Victor Hugo and Honorée de Balzac. Essentially, they dressed up in Arabic clothing and gathered for “séances” at a Parisian hotel, at which they consumed coffee and dawamesk, a strong mixture of cannabis, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, pistachio, orange juice, sugar, butter, and cantharides. Afterward, some of them would write about their experiences while stoned.

When it first came out in 1980, Sagan’s “Cosmos,” a tie-in to the TV series of the same name, became the best-selling science book ever published in the English language (suck it, Darwin and Einstein). A cosmologist – and the creator of the ultimate mixtape, the Golden Record of space probes Voyager 1 and 2 (both currently barreling through space at over 34,000 miles an hour, 13.8 billion and 11.5 billion miles away from Earth, respectively) – Sagan was clever, imaginative, and eloquent, describing the grand scale of the universe in a dazzling way that hasn’t been replicated since.

He was also a fan of the wacky baccy.

Under the pseudonym “Mr. X,” Sagan wrote an essay for the 1971 book “Marihuana Reconsidered.” In it, he describes how cannabis has allowed him to better understand himself, other people, and the world around him – and, for what it’s worth, increased his enjoyment of sex.

“The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity and fellowship so desperately needed in this If you read the full, unabridged version increasingly mad and dangerous world,” of “The Count of Monte Cristo,” you’ll he concluded. find a lot of references to hashish, as Weed may or may not also increase the Count himself is quite a fan. At one one’s enjoyment of the Symphony of point, the titular character offers it to Science videos musician John D. Boswell guests, extolling it for paragraphs on end. created by auto-tuning Sagan and other For example, “Taste this, and in an hour scientists, long after Sagan’s death. you will be a king, not a king of a petty kingdom hidden in some corner of Eu—— Nick Gonzales idea to start forcing nearly 100 prison inmates in New York to produce 100K gallons of hand sanitizer weekly. He calls it keeping up with the demand, we call it slavery.

Discover the truth about “name your favorite conspiracy theory” As expected, this list has now devolved into delving into the dark places

of the internet conspiracy theory world.

At a time like this when most of us have nothing but time, perhaps now would be the time finally uncover the truth about the JFK assassination, whether the Denver International Airport is situated above the headquarters for the New World Order, or whether Jonestown was actually an MKUltra experiment.

—— Amanda Push

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[travel]

Centrally located between Durango and Cortez on Route 160 in Mancos, Colorado

GET OUTTA TOWN:

Try not to steal Colorado’s almost420 mile marker

THE BUD FARM Bring this ad in to get a $99 ounce

Sign-stealing stoners forced the state to make a change Stratton, Colorado, a tiny town of about 650 people, sits on Interstate 70, just west of the border with Kansas. It has an ice cream store, a restaurant, and a nine-hole golf course. What it’s probably most famous for, though, is the mile marker sign that stands, at least in theory, just east of I-70 at exit 419.

had to thwart sticky-fingered bandits. If you travel Cameron Pass, west of Fort Collins, you’ll find “Mile 68.5” near the summit. People kept taking “69.”

This isn’t the only time CDOT has

420

The rate at which thieves make off

The mile numbering system for that particular interstate begins at the Utah border, and then curves north and south a bit as it travels westward, eventually hitting the border with Kansas about 450 miles later. As a result, it’s one of the only roads in the state with a well-marked 420th Courtesy of the Colorado Department of Transportation mile. (The other two »» In 2017, the Colorado Department of Transportation and Lyft highways of that ran an anti-DUI promotion in which they asked people to find length, U.S. 40 and hidden versions of the then-famously missing 420 mile markers.

50, don’t have signs denoting the mile), according to The with the sign has slowed, but there’s still Denver Post.) a pretty good chance it will be missing Since five teens in San Rafael, Caliwhen you drive past it. When the sign is fornia, began first started whispering there, it’s a popular spot to stop, take a it to each other as a code word for the few selfies (but definitely not take the time they planned to meet to search for sign – we know you’d never do that), and an abandoned cannabis crop, “420” has either rejoice or despair that you’re enbecome inextricably linked to stoner tering or leaving Colorado for, or from, culture. the Midwest proper.

As you can imagine, the 420 mile If the sign is missing, but you’re really marker was always been a popular sign dead set on seeing it, turn around. After to steal, especially after Colorado legal- all, there should be two – one for westized marijuana in 2012. According to bound traffic and one for eastbound the Washington Post, it was one 15 such traffic. If neither are there and you’re signs in the country. some sort of lunatic that absolutely has In a 2013 effort to stop people from absconding with the sign, the Colorado Department of Transportation decided to move the marker one hundredth of a mile to the east, replacing it with one that indicated “Mile 419.99.”

710

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To limit exposure we are encouraging as many people as we can to make your order online through Leafly. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to call.

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to see (again, definitely not steal) one of the signs, and you don’t care what state it’s in, stay heading east on I-70 through Kansas until almost Missouri. You’ll find another not long before you reach Kansas City.

—— Nick Gonzales

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follow, like, tweet us... dgoma g /dgomag @dgo_mag

[weed]

Personal possession of Schedule 1 and 2 narcotics is no longer a felony in Colorado Newly-enacted law should keep more Coloradans out of jail

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Did you know that as of the beginning of March, Colorado no longer considers personal possession of schedule 1 and 2 narcotics to be a felony? Neither did we, but it’s true.

In May of 2019, Governor Jared Polis quietly signed House Bill 19-1263 into law, and it just officially went into effect. The bill reduces the punishment for personal possession of controlled substances such as cocaine, DMT, and LSD. They’re all still illegal – this isn’t your cue to start doing lines while in line at the post office. But if caught with less than four grams of something, Coloradans can no longer be jailed and they’ll face reduced penalties and fines.

“If they’re still illegal, why does this matter?” I can hear you asking. “I’ll still get in trouble if the fuzz finds me with an eight-ball of coke.”

Well, inquisitive coke-user, a misdemeanor is a much less severe mark on your criminal record than a felony would be and is less likely to keep popping up, hurting your job prospects and other parts of your life in the long-term.

If you’re offered a hit of something at a party and get caught, you’re not as screwed as you would have been before the law went into effect.

The law does not, however, wash away your past record for drug possession violations. So if you got busted with a ten-strip of acid this time last year and were already charged with a felony for it, that’s still going to follow you around for a while. Sorry. Talk to your lawmaker about doing something about that as well.

Meanwhile, on the macroscopic level, this could end up reducing the number of drug offenders who get incarcerated and thus reducing the cost to the state’s resources. Over the next five years, it ought to save Colorado between $8.3 million and $13 million, according to the Joint Budget Committee. So hooray for that.

“We’re going to see hundreds of people each year who will no longer be put in state prisons with a felony offense,” said Leslie Herod, who represents the state’s eighth house district, according to the Boulder Weekly. “This will help move people towards getting the help that they need.”

Herod said the state has already started putting millions of dollars toward treatment and rehabilitation. So it’s not like the state isn’t doing anything to fight its drug problems; it’s just redirecting its resources toward fixing its problems in a more meaningful way.

In the meantime, not automatically being considered a felon may reduce the stigma placed upon drug users, allowing them to go about their lives like normal without the fear of being judged for the rest of their lives. They could ... *gasp* ... start to fit in with everyone else.

You can rest a little bit easier – when you finally come down, that is – all you of you molly users keeping Colorado’s EDM scene alive. Shuffle the night away knowing you’re not going to jail, unless you try to sell it.

—— Nick Gonzales

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[drink]

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“Jared Leto emerges from 12-day desert meditation to find coronavirus pandemic,” many news outlets reported.

Steamworks Brewing Co.

This is why the Colorado Brewers Guild has gone out of its way to provide an interactive map for people willing to support these small, local businesses.

Ska Brewing Co. Ska is asking patrons to buy gift cards, merchandise, and online food and beer orders for in-person pickup. They’re also offering 10 percent off all cases of beer.

“Support local breweries during this difficult time by purchasing gift cards, “As everyone continues to monitor merchandise, and beer for pickup from the COVID-19 pandemic, we here at the comfort of your home,” the organiza- Ska Brewing are focused on the health tion announced on their website. and well-being of our customers and Among those listed are Durango’s employees. We continue to take steps own Steamworks Brewing Co. and Ska to ensure a safe and welcoming environBrewing Co., as well as WildEdge BrewContinued on Page 23 ing Collective in Cortez.

160

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Knowing their clientele will likely be desperate for something to drink other than the Corona they purchased early on as a joke, Steamworks is offering beer and food orders for in-person pickup. To avoid congregating, customers can walk up to an open window at the In any case, it’s becoming more and more clear that booze has become a sur- downtown Durango staple.

“There’s a need for that (take-out vivalist staple in these dark times. Many food), just to feed the community right small businesses, including breweries, now, ” said Kris Oyler, CEO of Peak Food are taking a financial hit as, understand& Beverage which owns Steamworks, ably, no one wants to commune in pubin a Facebook video. “Grocery stores lic. But guys. We still need to support are getting overwhelmed. We’re able to our local breweries because none of us provide that.” are getting through this sober.

We can only assume this was so widely broadcasted because millions of Americans were desperately lost without the Thirty Seconds to Mars frontman to show us the way.

Every sanitation effort is being made during these hard times. We offer Leafly online ordering with fast pickup in store.

Check our Web Site and Instagram for any new updates.

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“Liquor, marijuana, and guns are also popular among coronavirus hoarders,” one LA Times headline read.

We are obviously still in dire times, so for many people just purchasing gift cards online is probably the best option.

For those who are healthy and feeling brave, though, these local breweries are still offering their services — just in a much more limited and sanitary capacity.

DU

Some of the most American headlines you’ll ever see have come out of the COVID-19 crisis.

Davidson Creek Road

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INSIDE THE WORLD

OF COLORADO’S

EDIBLES

Taking a peek into what makes weed-based treats – and the people who make them – tick

By Nick Gonzales

for the first time.

DGO STAFF WRITER

To get the lay of the land of THC-laced treats, DGO interviewed four representatives of Colorado’s edible industry.

C

annabis edibles are older than heck, first showing up in anthropological records around 1500 BCE in ancient India – in the form of bhang, a paste made by grinding buds and leaves. They show up again in Renaissance writer Bartolomeo Platina’s “On Honorable Pleasure and Health,” the first printed cookbook. And speaking of cookbooks, Alice B Toklas’ 1954 eponymous one went a long way to popularizing “Hashish Fudge” with the Beat Generation.

»» 1906’s products are each crafted in such a way to evoke a unique sensation in the person who uses them.

Now, in a time of unprecedented legality and technological capability, edibles are evolving. Sure, you’ll always be able to fall back on the tried-and-true “special brownies,” but the cannabis industry is finding new ways to work with cannabis and learning to control it to a clinical level

Courtesy of 1906

Lauren Gockley/Coda Signature When it comes to looking fancy, Coda Signature has a lot of other edible brands beat. The company makes truffles, chocolate bars, a line of gummies called “Fruit Notes,” and “Chocolate on a Spoon” – and the people behind the scenes definitely have aesthetics on their minds.

When creating a THC-infused treat, Lauren Gockley, Director of Edibles at Coda, said, “It’s not specifically about thinking of it as an infused item as much as creating an item that’s going to create a really wonderful experience for our customer – and that starts with our packaging, the appearance of our products ... the flavor profile, and the quality of the cannabis ingredient as well. I’m looking to create the overall experience as it relates to all those different aspects of cuisine, visual effects, and the effect of THC as well.”

Gockley took up cooking with cannabis as a way to challenge herself when it comes to working with chocolate – a food she had worked with for years, including a couple at New York City’s uber-elite Per Se restaurant.

“I saw an opportunity with cannabis to introduce really high quality products to continue to elevate people’s experiences,” she said.

Courtesy of Coda Signature

»» The aesthetics of Coda Signatures products, including its truffles, are a large part of the experience that the company aims to create.

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On a fundamental level, cannabis and chocolate combine to provide a level of nourishment that really excites people, she said. “Whenever I tell people what I do, I always get in trouble if I’m not carrying any.”

The key to why chocolate and weed go so well together is anandimide, a chemical our brains produce naturally that helps regulate emotion. It’s important in creating a feeling of happiness or bliss, and very similar chemicals can be found outside our bodies, notably in cocoa bean products and cannabis.

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“There are a lot of really beautiful parallels between chocolate and cannabis. That makes for a really synchronistic pairing,” Gockley said.

Combining other things people love and are familiar with is likely why Coda Signature’s Coffee & Doughnuts chocolate bar is the top-selling edible chocolate bar in Colorado and the second top-selling in the nation, she said.

Surprisingly, Gockley’s favorite edibles recently haven’t been chocolate at all, but her company’s Fruit Notes. The confections are made with a cannabis distillate, which basically creates a blank slate to which flavors and strains can be added, instead of a CO2 oil that would much more closely emulate the plant from which it came. The confections are also sugar-based, whereas many others edibles are fat-based.

“I’m still exploring you know who I am as an edible consumer,” she said. “I have a lot more research still do, which is not such a bad job to have.”

Josh Fink/Incredibles One of the main focuses when creating edibles at Incredibles is creating products that are accessible to the consumer, said corporate executive chef Josh Fink. All of the company’s products – which include gummies, chocolates, and pressed tablets like sweet tarts and mints – are all well-demarcated with the precise milligrams of THC inside them.

Courtesy of Incredibles

»» Incredibles goes out of its way to make the THC contents of its edibles as clear as possible.

Creating that level of control was one of the early challenges for the edible industry when cannabis became legal in Colorado, he said. Before legalization, the level of cannabis in an edible was inconsistent at best, especially when inconsistency is one of the hallmarks of the food.

mix a brownie to the point where it’s homogeneous, it’s almost cake; it’s not really a brownie anymore,” Fink said. “I heard so many stories about, ‘Well, I cut it up into four pieces, and one person was asleep on the couch, and one person was doing laps around the house, and the other two folks were like, what’s the big deal?’ And we definitely wanted to avoid that issue for people and make it consistent and reliable.”

“A well-made brownie is not evenly mixed. If you

Fink was a pastry chef for a large, nationally-dis-

Courtesy of Coda Signature

»» Lauren Gockley is the director of edibles at Coda

Courtesy of 1906

»» Peter Barsoom is the CEO and founder of 1906.

tributed bakery based in Denver when he was approached about creating a line of baked goods for the medical cannabis market.

“That was very short lived because as soon as we got into the market, we realized everybody’s like, ‘Oh, we want at least three months shelf life,’” he said. “I could make you a brownie that would last three months, but that’s Hostess. That’s not medicine.”

When it comes to creating edibles, Fink said

Courtesy of Incredibles

»» Josh Fink is the corporate executive chef at Incredibles.

Signature.

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chocolate is great to work with because the terpenes – the aromatic oils you find in cannabis – mix into the chocolate well while the taste of the chocolate mask a lot of the “off” flavors present in the cannabis.

For personal usage, though, he likes the potential for microdosing associated with the tablets Incredibles creates. Only about 15% of the edibles market, he estimates, consists of high-dose users, with a larger percentage of users wanting it as a social lubricant that they can fit into their everyday routines.

“I think micro dosing is definitely going to open doors to a lot more markets for people. You know, when somebody can have an edible and go out for the evening and not have to worry about whether they have a glass of wine or not, that’s going to make a big difference in the availability and the access for people,” he said.

»» Sweet Grass’ Double Chocolate Cookies focus on delivering CBD, with a little bit of THC.

Lauren Finesilver/Sweet Grass Kitchen Sweet Grass Kitchen is known mostly for its baked goods – brownies and a variety of cookies – as well as mints and fruit snacks. Operations Director and Executive Chef Lauren Finesilver, however, considers one of the company’s most interesting products to be its cannabutter.

“It’s a stick of butter that you can take home and cook whatever you want. Sweet, savory, the butter on its own is kind of creating your own culinary adventure,” she said.

Making cannabutter on one’s own is a bit hit or miss, Finesilver said, especially when it comes to the strength of its THC. Purchasing cannabutter, on the other hand, ensures consistency. Each stick is 100 mg, with each pat having 10 mg of THC. And if people want to dilute the THC even further, that’s pretty easy to do – just mix in more regular butter.

Finesilver got into the cannabis business largely because of timing. Sweet Grass Kitchen was just forming as she was looking to get out of the vary corporate setting of working for while foods. Creating edibles – then just for the medical marijuana sector – allowed her to keep working and work with a plant that was going to help people.

»» Sweet Grass’ Cannabutter is useful for home chefs wanting to add some THC to their creations.

in the meatpacking industry. It was also one of the first laws to limit the sale of cannabis too, and many consider it the first step the country took toward prohibiting it.

and being able to offer people something that does ... and then for me personally being able to transition from pharma to plant based medicine, that was a really exciting milestone that we met.”

Today, the company 1906 isn’t just enjoying the fact that they can make and sell cannabis-based products again, but also trying to take the industry in a bit of a different direction than most.

Regulations and the future

Founder and CEO Peter Barsoom said he got into the business to create what he calls “functional cannabis.” 1906 has six different “experiences” in chocolate and tablet form that set out to create different feelings, specifically: Genius, tapping into ones mental powers; Midnight, getting restful sleep; Go, being more alert and focused; Love, getting into a sensual mood; Chill, calming down and relaxing; and Bliss, feeling extroverted and happy.

Ironically, despite knowing the products she creates inside and out, Finesilver has no tolerance for edibles and doesn’t eat them that often. As such, one of her favorite products from the selection that Sweet Grass produces is its CBD Double Chocolate Cookies. Each cookie has 20 mg of CBD and just 1 mg of THC – they grant the same feelings of wellness and relief people find with CBD, but won’t get you too stoned. (They have to have at least some THC in there, though, because otherwise Sweet Grass can’t legally sell them in the same space as cannabis.)

Like Josh Fink, Barsoom said many consumers are looking to integrate cannabis into their daily toolkits, without necessarily getting high. He said the company makes chocolate edibles because that’s simply a way people love to consume cannabis and the pill-like tablets because that’s how people typically consume medicine.

Peter Barsoom/1906

“I was on ADD medication for most of my adult life ... and wanted an alternative to pharmaceuticals,” he said. “Genius was created to provide that cognitive focus boost without some of the negative side effects of pharmaceuticals. ... Most people don’t typically associate cannabis use with cognitive focus,

1906 is named after the year the Pure Food and Drug Act was enacted. The law, which aimed to bean traffic in adulterated and mislabeled food and drugs, was a reaction to “The Jungle,” by Upton Sinclair, which detailed revoltingly unsanitary conditions

Photos courtesy of Sweet Grass Kitchen

»» Lauren Finesilver is the operations director and executive chef of Sweet Grass Kitchen.

“Our focus is on leading consumers where they want to be next,” he said.

Personally, Barsoom, who spent 20 years in finance in New York, has found 1906’s Genius edibles useful within his own life.

Experts we spoke to in the cannabis industry were almost universally surprised by how many regulations they encountered when coming into the industry. For those who got in during the early days of recreational legalization, or even earlier during the medical-only days, the world of making edibles was the Wild West. Rules would change frequently, requiring cannabis cooks to adapt to new conditions while still trying to harness a chemical that hadn’t enjoyed much use in an industrial setting.

Early problems circled largely around the general inexperience people had with using edibles – not knowing how much to take and being unsure of what effect they would have or how long it would take to appear. And that’s one way edibles have changed, especially going forward.

Everyone we spoke to noted that the cannabis industry is finally figuring out how to make edibles that are fast-acting. You no longer have to take one and then wait an hour to see what will happen.

“Nanocapsulation is something that’s kind of big right now,” said Finesilver. “They found chemical process in which they can trick your liver so you can feel the effects of cannabis faster, so it can create more bioavailability for your endocannabinoid system – and that means you can receive the euphoric effect of cannabis much quicker instead of waiting several hours.”

Finesilver also hopes providing fresh-cooked, elegant foods such as croissants to consumers is the future for the edible industry. Only time will tell.

����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, March 26, 2020 | 15

[weed]

GMO bud should be a part of your coronavirus survival kit This strain will give you the brain break you deserve Hi there. If you’re my neighbors, I’d like to take this time to reassure you that the coughing and choking you heard from my home last weekend was not me spreading seeds of COVID-19 all over. It was me choking on a bowl of some of weed — well, a bowl of GMO from Prohibition Herb, to be exact. I know it sounded like I was dying, but the reality was that this weed just kicked my ass so hard that I could barely breathe.

Anyway, back to GMO. If you haven’t seen GMO on Prohibition’s shelves, it’s probably because this is a new strain for the dispensary. And, they’re releasing it right at a time when we need it most, because let me tell you, this bad boy will kick your ass off of this planet, into outer space, and well away from anything even sort of related to coronavirus. In other words, it’ll give you a serious distraction from reality, which I’m guessing most of us need.

I got to try this strain out last week before it hit the shelves, and holy mother of god was I stoned after just one bowl. This strain smells like so strong of spice, gasoline, and skunk — you could smell it THROUGH the container, you guys — and is a hybrid of Chemdawg and GSC, which explains at least some of the stench. It tests in at 33.88% THC, which is undoubtedly why I got high as actual hell. Tis a lot of THC indeed.

It was a great high, though — the kind that instantly hits and pulls you out of a funk almost immediately. I went from a grumpy ass sober person to someone who was so high they were mumbling to themselves about why Archer’s face is a different tone than his shirtless body.

I vaguely remember doing that, by the way, but the people I live with certainly remember (and won’t let it freaking go).

I needed that escape, too — all of the news about political infighting, the rising numbers of people with coronavirus, and the fear of not finding toilet paper can be a lot, even for a proper cynic like me who expects such dire circumstances to occur.

Oh, and I also ate a metric shit ton of snacks afterward, so prepare yourselves, because along with that brain break comes the most epic case of munchies I have ever. freaking. had. I

Details

Where to find the GMO strain: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino del Rio, prohibitionherb.com remember eating an apple, some donuts (yeah, City Market in the midst of a pandemic for the win!), whatever leftovers I could find, and a bunch of candy I had stashed away for that exact purpose. So, if you’re trying to watch those calories or you were one of the last to the grocery store this week, you may want to order takeout or find something healthy to snack on beforehand. Cause uh, you will be hungry. No doubt.

But you’ll also be happy — at least while you’re stoned — which counts for a lot in the current political climate. And as a bonus, once you aren’t stoned anymore, you’ll probably be asleep, which is precisely what happened to me after I laid around muttering to myself while shoving all my coronavirus rations in my mouth. I passed the hell out and slept like a baby. Thanks, GMO! So, if you’re over 21 and looking for a way to exit your mind for a while, I would scurry up to Prohibition with a bottle of hand sanitizer and some cash.

This bud is going to fly off the shelves, friends, and if I were you I’d stock up before it does. Screw toilet paper; worry about getting some GMO bud instead.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

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[weed]

Strawberry Cough will help you cure that daytime cabin fever But it definitely doesn’t taste like strawberries when I truly needed it.

It seems appropriate — or even strangely silly — that we’re reviewing a strain called Strawberry Cough in the midst of a pandemic that causes people to cough like a bunch of choking stoners, yet here we are. This is real life, folks.

Buckle up, I guess.

Anyway, we are indeed reviewing a strain called Strawberry Cough this week, which we picked up from our friends at The Green House Durango. I was honestly surprised to see how busy the dispensary was in the midst of a pandemic, but smokers gotta smoke, I guess.

(That or it was a bunch of high strung parents who are playing teacher while cooped up with anxious kids. Couldn’t tell from the suggested 6-foot distance.)

Either way, I was happy to see that there was support for local business (or at least the weed biz) out in droves.

And, given that weed is great for relieving stress, it makes sense why The Green House was busy. Plus, they sell strains like Strawberry Cough, which I found to taste nothing like strawberries, but it did the trick. It did the trick very well.

I also didn’t notice any anxiety with it, even though this was a sativa, and most of them have been giving me anxiety as of late. (Blame the overabundance of news and arguing. Not even social media is safe.) Strawberry Cough didn’t give rise to that panic in my chest, though. It just helped me get out of my own way for a minute while still allowing me to be functional enough to go about my day.

Details

Where to find Strawberry Cough: The Green House, 730 S. Camino del Rio, thegreenhousecolorado. com/ What was also a nice change of pace was the high from the Strawberry Cough. I expected to be pretty freaking high after smoking a bowl by myself, but it was a nice daytime high, one that lured me in with a siren’s call and removed the static and COVID-19 haze from my brain. It was the perfect escape at a time

If you’re a parent stuck inside with kids who have cabin fever, this strain could be a great one to grab for daytime use. It’ll keep your head clear enough to deal with making sandwiches or re-learning Algebra, but it’ll also give you some sweet relief from the frustration that can come with it. Just be aware before you buy it that this strain does smell like weed, so uh, no, the strawberry smell won’t mask it from your kids. Just smoke it in your closet or something.

Whatever gets the job done.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

But I’ll get to that. First let’s talk about the science stuff.

Strawberry Cough is a widely loved sativa strain known for its uplifting, cerebral highs, so you may be familiar with it. You may have even smoked it! Some people have equated the smell of this strain to something like sweet strawberries, but to be honest with you, I just smell skunky weed. I’m definitely not a connoisseur though, so don’t take me at my word for it.

The nugs are dense and compact, like little green popcorn balls, and it was great for getting me out of my own brain for a while. I lit up a bowl of Strawberry Cough expecting, given the name, that I would scare the hell out of my neighbors, who were bound to think I had the virus. Oddly enough, though, I didn’t cough much, if at all, while smoking the bowl by myself in self isolation. I actually found it very pleasant to smoke.

I also found the effects very pleasant.

I went from scanning my phone for any new news about the coronavirus to reading AITA on Reddit. It was a nice change of pace, considering how insane life is right now. ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, March 26, 2020 | 17

[weed]

Want to get so high you forget what your own mother looks like?

Well, you should probably try Dutch Girl Caramel Waffles If you’re a seasoned marijuana user, it can be a challenge to hit that sweet spot — you know, that solid melt-into-yourcouch kind of high — without consuming, say, 98,438,573,845 mg of weed.

Recently, I had a few house guests over that also have that exact problem.

They’re daily users of the green and at this point in their lives have built up a pretty solid tolerance.

In between hiking, shopping, and derping around, we decided to hit up a few dispensaries to prep for that evening’s festivities. While at one dispensary, one of my companions decided to pick up a pack of Dutch Girl Caramel Waffles. This was particularly exciting to me as I have been eyeballing those beautiful golden packages for at least a year now, but haven’t yet purchased them (mostly out of my sheer terror and complicated feelings toward edibles.)

If you haven’t had the pleasure of running into these delectables, you’re in for a real treat. You’re welcome.

Dutch Girl is under the umbrella of CannaPunch, a cannabis company based in Colorado. CannaPunch started out selling cannabis-infused-drinks but has since expanded into offering vaping and other edible products. The

Caramel Waffles are basically two thin waffle-cone crackers encasing a layer of gooey caramel filling. Basically, they’re effing delicious. We probably went on talking for at least 10-15 minutes about how great they tasted. They’re so sweet, plus you really can’t smell the weed until the waffles are basically right under your nose, which is fine by me. I personally don’t like my edibles smelling or tasting like weed, and my companions were in agreement.

Each of these morsels is set at 10 mg apiece, and a Dutch Girl package comes

with 10 waffles. I know it’s hard, but try not to eat all of them at once. They’re SUPER potent and you might die lying half-upright on your couch with partially chewed Cheetos still in your mouth. Not that I would know.

about what the directions were actually conveying. Honestly, the process should have taken no more than an hour. Alas, weed.

Shockingly, within three hours we had put together the IKEA couch, though I wouldn’t say it went smoothly by any stretch of the word. Because our brains were basically tipped upside down and swirled like protein shakes, we got tripped up several times and argued

In any case, if you’re looking for something to munch that’ll get you so high you’ll forget what your own mother looks like, I have a feeling you’ll enjoy Dutch Girl Caramel Waffles. Just make sure there’s pancake bread nearby.

It didn’t help that we were simultaneously watching “Train to Busan,” a 2016 Korean film. During the movie, you Normally, when you consume edibles follow the story of a man and his young your goal is to be unproductive, right? daughter as they run away from zombies Well, in our case, we decided that it on, you guessed it, a train. It’s really a would be a great time to start putting fantastic film with plenty of terrifying together IKEA furniture, specifically a moments and lots of blood and guts. But couch. That’s right, ladies and gents, we when you’re so stoned you can’t tell the make good decisions.

About an hour after eating the waffles difference between yourself and other people in the room, the only thing you one of my friends began wandering aimlessly around my apartment, looking can convey to your equally mind-mushed friends is, “guys...this movie is SOgood,” like she couldn’t remember her own over, and over again while everyone nods name, much less read vague illustrated silently in agreement. Not to mention directions about which cushion went we were suddenly starving and shovwhere. As she is basically a daily weed user, we were surprised at how much she eling donuts and pancake bread into our gullets (thanks a lot, Trader Joe’s — was affected by the Dutch Girl Caramel Waffles. I was impressed. Clearly, Dutch pretty sure I ate that whole tray mostly by myself).

Girl knows what they’re doing.

—— Sir Blaze Ridcully

Phyx Water is basically the La Croix of edibles I learned very quickly that Phyx is not your average edible. This flavored sparkling water is infused with 10 mg of quick-acting, microdosed THC that uses “nano-encapsulation absorbtion technology” so you’ll likely start feeling the effects almost immediately, or at least within 15 minutes. And, as an added bonus, those effects wear off within an hour or so, meaning that you can probably chug this drink, be a bit stoned for a while, and then go back to sober in short order.

I wasn’t super sure how to feel when the four-pack of Phyx Water appeared in the mail. I’m not super big on edibles — I generally try to avoid drooling on myself and talking nonsense, which is what happens when I take one — and that’s precisely what Phyx is. Or, so I thought anyway.

Oh, and did I mention that this shizzzz is delicious? I did not, because I haven’t gotten to that part. But spoiler alert, it is indeed delicious. I am a La Croix addict (except for Pamplemousse, which is gross), and even as a sparkling water purist, I would drink this weed water any day of the week. Any. Day. Of. The. Week. It is that good. It tastes just like a La Croix, only with a bit more flavor.

And none of that flavor is weed, by the way. That flavor isn’t fake sugar or other junk, either. Phyx is made with all natural ingredients, has zero calories, sugar or carbs. Basically it’s just clean, slightly fruity water with bubbles that gets you high.

heavy bottle of Phyx in a minute or two, probably because I really liked the way the dragonfruit flavor tasted. There are a couple of other flavors — grapefruit and lime — and if they’re anything like this one, they’re badass. I didn’t notice any weed flavor in the water, which is impressive, given that the only thing masking it is a bit of dragonfruit flavor.

But not too high, mind you. Just high enough that you feel the effects. It’s a And, very shortly after I was done steady ass ride, but I’ll get to that. Before chugging I did indeed feel the effects of I do, let’s talk shop about the amount of liquid you have to consume to down this the THC. I first noticed that kinda floating feeling that you get with edibles, but Phyx biz. unlike some of the other products I’ve I would not normally want to ingest an tried, this one led to a feeling that was entire La Croix in a matter of minutes, pretty pleasant and tolerable. I knew I but Phyx, which is 8.5 ounces per bottle, was high, but I was just high enough that has proven to me that I could stay really I was out of my own head for a bit. Not hydrated if I wanted to. It’s a matter of up in the sky. priorities. It probably helped that we The strange part about it was that were sent the dragonfruit flavor, which the high really didn’t intensify, either. It was so refreshing and clean, but still.

I was able to finish my suprisingly

Continued on Page 23

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[weed]

Snackin’ on some potent Blue Kudu Fruit Juiced Gummies during the apocalypse green stash.

It was time to visit a dispensary and stock up like a redneck convinced the government is about to take away his second amendment rights. When I arrived at my local haunt, it appeared that everyone else had the exact same idea. I found myself in line with a bunch of equally anxious-looking patrons who were as eager to maintain their distance as I was. What a time to be alive.

The weekend before I went into allout social isolation due to COVID-19, I was on the hunt. Not for scant toilet paper or pasta, mind you, but for some weed. See, while I’m already a bit of a complete and total hermit, the idea of zero human contact for weeks indefinitely sounded, shall we say, depressing, and I was hell bent on digging deep into my

After a bit of a wait, I finally made it to the front of the line, where a very helpful budtender awaited. I grabbed a couple of grams of the strains I knew to be tried and true, but I needed to freshen up on my edible game. My budtender immediately knew what to recommend: Blue Kudu’s Fruit Juiced Gummies, the watermelon-lemonade flavor.

Not only is this sativa gummy vegan and gluten-free, but it’s also made with 25% fruit juice (which may have been what officially sold me). There’s a little more than 5 mg per piece and the bag comes with 20 pieces total. This would last me a whole three days, maybe even

just one, depending on how delicious they were.

And delicious they were indeed.

The cannabis industry is really upping their edibles game. I don’t know if I can stress enough how good these gummies taste. The watermelon-lemonade blend is completely seamless. If you handed me a handful of these edibles and told me they were regular ol’ fruit snacks, I’d believe you in a heartbeat. That’s how smooth and non-weedy they tasted.

Sweet and juicy. Just like your mom.

Some edibles seem to take hours to kick in, while others hit you like a bus after 10 minutes. These edibles took about an hour before I felt their slimy tentacles over my brain, and um, I was completely done for.

Short and simple, I was an utter dumbass on these gummies. Truly. It was pathetic. I could barely remember my own name, let alone recall what activity I was doing from one moment to the next.

For example, I went to fetch something about six feet away, and by the time I got over there I had completely forgotten

what I was looking for, walked away, remembered again, walked back, and repeated the process. The sativa had done its dirty work. My headspace was a woozy, hopeless case.

Also, HOLY MOTHER OF ZUUL THE COTTONMOUTH. In fact, after writing that sentence I took a huge swig of water at the memory. If you’re going to drown your loneliness in these edibles, be sure to have several gallons of water at the ready. I wish I was exaggerating.

And yet, these dopey, dry-mouthed experiences did not keep me from devouring the entire bag over the next several days because, dear reader, they were so damn delicious.

There are no ragrets here when it comes to Blue Kudu’s Fruit Juiced Gummies, except for that I only bought one bag. Also, maybe that I had no one to share them with. But learn from my mistakes, and next time you find yourself able to visit a dispensary, be sure to pick up multiple bags of these magic gummies.

—— Sir Blaze Ridcully

Will coronavirus be the tipping point for Colorado approving weed deliveries? » Let’s hope so

We’re lucky enough to live in a time where technology and businesses are focused on convenience and are making social isolation due to the coronavirus a bit easier on the brain. Unfortunately, a lot of legislation (on all levels of government) is a bit behind the times and it’s safe to say that it’s biting us in the ass hard at the moment as we struggle to both flatten the curve of the coronavirus and sustain the economy.

public during a pandemic.

“We see quite a few immuno-compromised patients, whether they’re taking steroids for an autoimmune disorder, they have cancer, or they’re just elderly.

These are the same people coronavirus wants to attack,” Dr. Peter Pryor, a medical marijuana physician, told Westword earlier this month.

While Colorado lawmakers legalized commercial cannabis delivery back in One such example is Colorado’s failure 2019, its impact is not far reaching at the to implement permits allowing dispensamoment. According to Westword, the ries to deliver cannabis to patrons who law only touches a few communities that might not either want to or be able to willingly volunteered for a pilot program leave their homes during the COVID-19 for medical marijuana deliveries only that pandemic. This would be especially was set to last for a year. By 2021, towns impactful to medical marijuana patients and counties across the state will have who use cannabis to manage symptoms on a daily basis. It is probably safe to say the option to allow marijuana delivery; that as medical marijuana patients, many however, communities can also choose to of these people probably fall into a high- prohibit the practice if they see fit.

That process could be speeding up, risk category for coronavirus making it though, thanks to the coronavirus. dangerous for them to go out into the

Native Roots Dandelion, a dispensary in Boulder, was given a permit earlier this month to start delivering cannabis to their no doubt relieved customers. The shop, which is part of one of the largest dispensary chains in Colorado, is the first in the state to receive a delivery license under this new law.

Because the city of Boulder had already passed a law that allowed marijuana delivery services it was perfectly positioned to carry out the law in a time of need, Native Roots Director of Public Affairs Shannon Fender told Westword.

“The state rightly prioritized the medical patient community for cannabis delivery, many of whom suffer from illness, pain and mobility issues,” Fender said.

“Boulder was incredibly forward-thinking when it passed legislation years ago permitting delivery to medical patients.”

In the meantime, while hopefully other municipalities play catch up, Gov.

Jared Polis issued executive orders to temporarily allow for curbside delivery at dispensaries as well as grant doctors the ability to remotely issue medical marijuana cards.

“As an emergency medicine doctor, I just figure I’m going to get this. But telemedicine could protect me from getting it, protect me from spreading it if I do get it, and protect my patients from getting it,” Pryor said.

As the cannabis industry grows and evolves, we’ll need more avenues to accommodate its needs. The cannabis industry already made Colorado more than $6 billion in sales since it was legalized. This industry is a significant part of Colorado’s economy and getting ahead of the curve will prove especially important for the sake of those who depend on marijuana for medical purposes. Preferably before the next pandemic hits us.

—— Amanda Push

����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� Thursday, March 26, 2020 | 19

DURANGO CARES

We are a community.

We are connected.

You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is struggling emotionally and thinking of suicide, reach out.

There is help. durangocares.com Brought to you by your friends at

[love and sex]

Sex In The Time of COVID19 How do you have sex when practicing social distancing?

The short answer is you don’t have sex.

Of course, the world and how we interact with it is not black and white. It is important to remember that I am not a medical doctor and you should absolutely be listening to doctors, epidemiologists, and other health officials first, when it comes to your health and safety. My job is to highlight the information from doctors and help you navigate your sexual needs during this time.

because STIs and pregnancy are not on a vacation.

The evidence shows that COVID-19 is in our saliva, mucus, and feces. If you engage in sexual activities and are concerned about getting

ers about how you are going to work together to limit the spread of COVID-19.

Instead of taking public transit for the booty call, you can walk, or whoever has a car makes the trip.

It is important to remember that some people will show no symptoms of having the virus and they can spread it without knowing they’ve been sick. This is important to talk about with your lovers.

Also, not everyone can stay home.

Some folks have to work and it is crucial that they limit their exposure. You can help by not calling them up for a booty call.

Do you have roommates?

Please talk with them if you plan to break the seal on your space and invite someone in for the night, or if you will be leaving and coming back. Come up with ways to keep the space clean, including washing your hands as soon as you walk in the door. Try it while singing “Like A Virgin.”

All by myself If your social distancing practice does not include a sexual partner that you already share a space with, then you are part of the solo sex club. Until we have flattened the curve, my first recommendation is going to be masturbation. You can’t get sick touching yourself! If you are using toys, be sure to clean them with soap and water after every use. If you have a toy that is difficult to clean, set that one to the side, especially if you plan on sharing toys in the future.

If masturbation isn’t your thing: (Really? Let’s talk about that.) You can spend your extra time looking into tantric practices. There is an aspect of tantra that turns sexual needs inwards through meditation and not touching yourself.

Fair warning, tantra is a practice and takes time ... lots and lots of time to master. Or you can take your horniness out on your living space and clean everything with a toothbrush. Two birds with one stone, if you ask me.

Quarantined with your lovers You may be part of the group that is social distancing with your lovers. You are already sharing space and taking the necessary precautions to avoid getting sick — washing your hands while singing “Afternoon Delight” ­— so get your groove thing on! There is no evidence I’ve read or heard that COVID-19 is spread through genital fluids. Please practice all the regular protections you do when engaging in sexual activities — condoms, birth control, and dental dams,

you may be healthy, but someone you have sex with may have a friend or family member that has a weakened immune system. Again, I’m not a doctor, so I encourage you to read up on your local health department’s website and seek out science-based information while you stay the fuck home.

Also, no one has ever died from not having sex.

Sexting, virtual sex, and sticky keyboards Your horniness is taking over your life and if you don’t do something you will explode! Might I suggest that you: - Masturbate or clean your grout - Ask for consent and then sext your lovers - Schedule a video call with your lovers and enjoy each other online - Watch some porn (email me if you need recommendations that don’t include PornHub) - Get creative!

Healthy and willing to risk

This is a forced opportunity to re-evaluate your life, your lovers, your sexual needs, and what is really importHmmmm ... no one is recommending you jump on Tinder and hook up with the ant to your happiness. It’s not easy to critically look at yourself. I can tell you nearest available human. As I underthat the COVID-19 pandemic is not a stand it, the work to flatten the curve time for selfishness. We have to put is the most important. It’s less about keeping infections from happening at all, aside what may feel like the only things that matter and look at how our choices and more about lessening how quickly affect others. We are in this together. people are infected because the hospitals need time to prepare.

On a personal note, this pandemic Also, has affected my family through business closures. If you are able, buy gift cards to The Bookcase and Barber and check out Le Platt’s Pond for your future parties and events. Thank you. it

or spreading the virus, avoid swapping spit and lay off the anal play for a bit. If you choose to engage in anal play or anal sex, use protection like dental dams or condoms. After sex, avoid touching your face and wash your hands while belting out “Let’s Get It On.” Better yet, enjoy a steamy shower together, because it’s so nice to have someone help you clean those hard to reach places.

Close but so far away Maybe you are living away from your lovers and you know that you all are doing your best to social distance and flatten the curve.

You can probably negotiate a way to hook up during this time. Be mindful that some places are asking folks to shelter in place because health services are overwhelmed. In that case, stay the fuck home.

Otherwise, talk with your lov-

Erin Brandt (she/her/hers) has been a sexologist for 15 years. When she’s not spreading sexual knowledge, Erin can be found learning from her child, hiking with her partner, cuddling with her pitbull, knitting with her cat, dancing with friends, and searching for the nearest hammock and ocean breeze. Want more? Visit www.positivesexed.com

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Horoscope This is a good money time. You might want to make financial plans. You might do some research. You might buy something practical that you will use in the long-term future.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) During this time the Moon is in your sign dancing with Mercury, which makes all your communications and conversations with others positive, both intellectually and emotionally. You’ve got good common sense!

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) This is a lovely time for you because your ruler Mercury is dancing with the Moon.

In particular, this means you will make a great impression on parents, bosses and VIPs, as well as the police.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) From Page 11

ment,” the company announced on its The Container of Food website.

WildEdge Brewing Collective Purchasing gift cards is what WildEdge is asking for, but patrons can also swing by the downtown Cortez brewery, though they are adhering to some pretty strict rules.

“Decide what you would like outside while viewing our new beer menu board in the front window,” the business stated on Facebook.

“Enter the front door, ONE CUSTOMER at a time. Place your order and pay with your credit card. Please do not loiter inside for any longer than necessary.”

So, order your gift cards online or put on your mask and latex gloves to get some take-out food/beer, and let’s raise our glasses to each other from inside the safety of our own homes.

Good or bad, we’re all in this together.

—— Amanda Push From Page 18

started off as a really pleasant, floating feeling and it stayed that way for about an hour. I hung out, watched some TV, and just vegged, happy and hungry, until it wore off.

The even stranger part, though, was

Do something different right now, because you want some adventure and a chance to broaden your horizons. It’s an excellent time to study anything new that interests you.

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) You will make good headway right now if you deal with red-tape issues about inheritances, wills, estates, taxes, debt or shared property. Roll up your sleeves and dig in!

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) A conversation with someone close to you will go well right now because you feel emotionally grounded, and at the same time, mentally very clear. It’s a good time to conduct business.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) You will be successful at work because your ability to communicate to customers and co-workers is excellent. Smooth

communication is everything!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) Grab every chance to party and have fun right now. Enjoy sports events and playful activities with kids. This is a nice time for a romantic date. Enjoy yourself!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) Family discussions will go well right now because people feel cooperative and genuinely interested in each other. It’s a good time to discuss how to tackle home repairs.

time to conduct business. Respect your moneymaking ideas.

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) Right now Mercury is in your sign dancing with the Moon, which promotes a positive connection between your mind and your feelings. Respect your common sense.

BORN DURING THESE TWO WEEKS

You attract challenges to you. You are hardworking, sensitive, fearless and passionate.

Because this is a year of teaching and learnCAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) ing, you will learn something that sets you With Mars in your sign, you have lots of in a new direction, which could be crucial energy. In addition, Mercury is in your to your success next year. Why not explore House of Communications promoting exmeditation, yoga or any discipline that will cellent discussions with others. You win! help you get a better understanding of who AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) you are? Explore something new.

Business and commerce are favored (c) 2019 King Features Syndicate, Inc. right now. In fact, this is an excellent

Bizarro

ARIES (March 21 to April 19)

that I didn’t notice any comedown or flat-lined feeling as it wore off. I almost always either pass out or notice a crash after an edible, where my limbs feel heavy, my brain feels tired, but I’m very sober. That didn’t happen with Phyx. It was pleasant from start to finish.

And I really do mean that. The taste, the effects — hell, even the packaging was pleasant. I really liked this sparkling weed water, and I’ve actually been trying to pace myself so I don’t run out. That’s been hard to do, considering how easy-going this high was and how good the Phyx tasted.

I definitely recommend this if you’re a fan of sparkling water and weed. It combines the best of both worlds in a quick, easy to handle high. Plus it tastes like dragonfruit. Total freakin’ win.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

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DAT E CH A N G E

S ATURDAY

•

J UNE 1 3 • 2 0 2 0

This event is open to all over 21 and FREE of charge. event 11am

- 4pm

after party 4pm

- 6pm

Pick up a map at any participating local dispensaries or in the June 4th edition of DGO. Start your crawl for all the best deals in town! The map will guide you to awesome deals, giveaways, Q&A sessions, and other related events happening throughout the day!

Once your quest is complete, head over to the Cannabis Crawl After Party at 11th Street Station for the Grand Prize drawing of two Dead & Co tickets!

D G O M A G . C O M /C R AW L PRIZE SPONSOR

TITLE SPONSOR

A F T E R PA RT Y SPONSOR

DGO does not endorse consuming of products and crawlers must abide by the law of 1-ounce purchase for the day.