dgomag.com August 2022 Weed did it first. Wild cannibalWest stories D GO
What’syourgo to whenhaveyouthe munchies? We wanna know! Post your favorite smoke snack on your Instagram story and tag us @dgomag for a chance to get featured!
DGO EditorSTAFFMagazine Angelica 375-4551aleicht@bcimedia.comLeicht Design/layout Ryan rbrown@bcimedia.comBrown Contributors Megan AmandaBiancoPush Reader Services 375-4570 Chief OfficerExecutive Carrie Cass V.P. of Advertising Jamie Opalenik 4-5 The sillies)brewingguidecompletetohome(beer, 6-7 Handy homebrew ing tips to get yourself liquored up 8 Infuse your own beer (if you know what’s good for you) 9-11 Get your mind right about #vanlife 12 Feeling mead-y? 13 Are you entertained?not 14-17 Cover story on the cannibals of the Wild West 18-20 Weed reviews 21-26 Ask a couple of potheads 26 Dispensary listings /d@dgo_mag gomag @dgdgomag/do_mag gomag Volume 5 Number 46 August 2022 What’s inside ON COVERTHE Let’s get cannibalistic, shall we? Illustration: Matt Clark for Lil Bud CoverDesignsdesign: Ryan Brown for DGO Mag Tell us what you think! Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com 18 A danky trip to New York City (sort of) What are you reminded of when you hear the words “New York City diesel”? Is it the heat ra diating off the tarry streets in Brooklyn? Is it the acrid stench of gasoline that’s fueled by bumperto-bumper traffic in the busiest city in the nation? Or is it some thing else entirely? 8 The wild and wacky world of beer infusions Hello there, beer devotees. Have you heard of beer infusing? Yes, beer infusing, which is exactly what it sounds like. You infuse your beer with some wild and wacky stuff — much of which works when it absolutely, totally should not. 13 Are you not entertained?!!! If you want more nuanced and full representations of the LGBTQ com munity during this holy Pride 2022 time, these queer shows will serve you lewks — and will also serve the LGBTQ community a lot better than some of those other old shows did. DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communica tions Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302 DGO is a free biweekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314. August 2022 | 3
The complete and total guide toComehomebrewingon!Tryit!It’ssomuch easier than it seems!
4 | August 2022 Want to make your favorite beer? Or just experiment with all the flavors you find yourself wishing were in a beer? Well, aren’t you ambitious. Luckily, brewing your own beer is a hell of a lot easier than it sounds. All you need are a few supplies and a recipe. The how-to below lists standard ingredient amounts for a basic ale, but it’s best to work from a recipe that has flavors you know and love — or try out some of the options that others love to see what piques your interest. Once you get brewing you’ll be drink ing your very own creation in three to five weeks. We know that’s a long time to wait, but if you’re desperate, maybe it’s time to finally drink that year-old 18 pack of Bud Light someone stuck in your fridge during the last SuperBowl instead. What you need to brew your own brew 4 gallon (min.) Brew Kettle with Lid 5 to 7 lbs. Malt Extract 2 Ounces Hops 1 Package Brewer’s Yeast 5 gallon Carboy Stirring Spoon NumberFunnel 7 Drilled Rubber Stopper RackingAirlock cane Vinyl Siphon hose (6 feet) 2/3 cup Dextrose 5PotGallon 2CarbonationBucketDropscasesofNon-Twist-Top Beer Bottles Bottle Capper Get your steps in (for brewing your own beer, Stepdudes)1
Fill a container large enough to accommodate your brew kettle halfway with water. Mix two capfuls of unscent ed liquid bleach into the water. Use the water to disinfect your brew kettle and a large, stirring spoon in the solution. Rinse the brew kettle and spoon with tap water until you can no longer smell bleach. Step 2 Place the brew kettle on the largest burner on your stove. Fill it two-thirds of the way full with tap water. Turn the burner on high. Step 3 Add the amount of malt extract dictated by your recipe — usually 5 to 7 pounds — once the water is hot. Mix continually with your sterilized spoon until the malt extract dissolves and the water reaches a rolling boil. This boiling mixture is called the wort. Step 4 Stir in half of the recipe’s required hops -- usually one ounce -- into the boiling wort. Step 5 Leave the wort to boil, uncovered, for one hour. Step 6 Mix in the second portion of hops. Put the lid on the brew kettle. Turn the burner off. Step 7 Leave the lidded brew kettle to cool to 70 to 80 degrees Fahrenheit. Use a brew thermometer to check the wort’s temperature periodically. This will take several hours. To speed up the process, fill the sink with ice and place the brew kettle on the ice. Step 8 Disinfect the large funnel, air lock, carboy and rubber stopper according to the instructions in step one. Step 9
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Pitch the wort. Place the carboy on a carpet-less floor in a room that remains between 70 and 80 degrees Fahrenheit at all times. Place the funnel into the mouth of the carboy. Have a partner hold the carboy and funnel still. If you used leaf hops in your wort, place a sterilized strainer over the mouth of the funnel first to strain the leaves out.
Step 10
Step 25 Rinse the racking cane and hose. Then fill both with water as you did in step 20. Step Place26the free end of the racking cane into the bucket. Release the pinched end of the siphon hose and allow water to drain into the sink. Pinch the tip of the siphon hose again once the beer begins to flow. Step 27 Place the pinched end of the siphon hose into the first bottle. Release the beer until the bottle is filled to within one inch of its lip. Pinch the tip of the siphon hose closed. Use the capper to place a cap on the beer. Repeat for each subsequent bottle. Step 28
Slowly flip each bottle upside down and then right side up five times to acti vate the carbonation. Step 29 Store the bottles upright in a dark, dry place. Try the beer after 14 days. Beer’s flavor matures between 14 days and 3 months after bottling. Try a beer at regular intervals to determine when you reach peak flavor. Making your own beer requires a sig nificant time commitment, especially the first go-round. Free up a Saturday and take your time with each step. Follow the instructions carefully and you’ll be well on your way to becoming a beer master. — DGO Staff
Remove the stopper from the carboy. Step 19 Push one end of the siphon hose onto the bent end of the racking cane to con nect the hose and the racking cane. Step 20 Pinch the free end of the siphon hose closed with one hand. Pour water into the free end of the racking cane until both the cane and the siphon hose are filled with water. Step 21 Place the free end of the racking cane into the carboy. Extend the tip of the siphon hose into the bucket. Release the pinched tip of the tube. Water will pour out, followed by beer. Pinch the tip of the siphon hose closed once the beer starts to flow.
Place the rubber stopper on the car boy and shake it vigorously to introduce as much air into the wort as possible. Step 11 Remove the stopper. Sprinkle brew er’s yeast into the wort. Replace the stopper. Step 12 Pour water into the airlock until its bulbs are half full. Place the air lock’s bottom stem into the hole in the stop per. Step 13 Leave the yeast to ferment for four to seven days or until the wort clears up and bubbles pop up in the airlock only once every 30 seconds or so. Check the carboy daily and wipe up any bub bled-over liquid. Step 14 Place the carboy onto a table. Leave it for 24 to 48 hours to allow the sediment to settle. Step 15 Bring the dextrose to a boil in a pot. Step 16 Disinfect and rinse the racking cane, siphon hose, bottles, caps and 5 gallon bucket according to the instructions in step one. Step 17 Place the bucket on the floor in front of the carboy’s table. Pour the boiled dextrose into the bottom of the bucket.
Step 23 Add one carbonation drop to each bottle per 350ml of liquid that it is rated to hold. Step 24 Place the wort-filled bucket from step 21 onto the table near the sink.
Step 22 Have a partner empty the water from the bucket. Replace the bucket to its original position. Release the end of the siphon hose and allow the beer to keep flowing. Pinch the tip of the siphon hose closed again when you’re down to the bottom inch (or so) of the wort where the sediment and yeast lie. Move the pinched tip of the siphon hose to the sink and let the remaining sediment, yeast and wort drain there.
Step 18
Don’t be a sucker. Use these homebrewing tips to get yourself liquored up on your own microbrews instead.
The siphon will be your main tool when transferring adult beverages in various stages of their creation, and the quality of that tool matters. Once again, many home brewing kits come equipped with small siphons, and once again seri ous home brewers will want to upgrade as quickly as possible. Buying a ½” racking cane is a purchase you will not regret as a new home brew er. This simple and inexpensive device will pay for itself over and over again in time saved and hassle avoided. Make your own (yeast) Beer is not the only thing you will be brewing. If you want to whip up amazing adult beverages, you will need the right yeast starter, and that means making your own. Every baker knows that a quality yeast starter is an essential first step for bak ing bread, and many home brewers have learned the same lesson. There are many different recipes for making that all important yeast starter, and if you ask around you will find plenty of opinions from those in the home brewing community. If you need more help, a handy guide from the Homebrew ers Association is below. Ultimately, the best approach is to do your homework, learn as much as you can about how the process works and experiment with various types of yeast starter until you find the right one. Yeast starter instructions Equipment When making a yeast starter, you’re essentially boiling and fermenting a mini batch of beer. First you’ll need a vessel large enough to hold the volume of the starter and something to cover the top, like foil or a stopper. The vessel can simply be a jar or plastic bottle, but Erlenmeyer flasks that can withstand direct heat are a popular choice since the entire boiling and fermentation process can be done in one vessel. If not using a flask, you’ll need a pot to boil a small quantity of wort. Other than that, you’ll
The good freakin’ news is that there is indeed a better way to kick back and relax with a drink in your hand. If you en joy a cocktail after dinner, you can simply stock up at the liquor store and stock the bar in your basement. And while we love ourselves a few local Colorado brews, you don’t have to shell out for microbrew quality beers on a regular basis. If you pick up some basic home brewing equipment, you can make your own beer and wine, all without the long drive to the bar, the restaurant or the grocery store. Kinda like homestead ing but with booze? OK, maybe not. We tried. And what’s even better is that home brewing is probably not as complicated as you may think. However, it is import ant to have an understanding of some basic information before you get started. That includes knowing what to expect and how to prepare — which is the best way to avoid costly, and undrinkable, mistakes. The rumors are true: Bigger is actually better Home brewing is one area where bigger is better, and it is important to in vest in the right equipment. Many home brewing starter kits come with under sized kettles, and their small size makes it difficult to whip up a quality batch. Whether you purchase a ready made kit to get started or buy the equipment one piece at a time on your own, do yourself a favor and get the biggest kettle you can find. Buying a kettle larger than what you think you will need is important, especially if you are serious about your new home brewing hobby. Invest in an auto siphon, for the love!
The rent (and beer prices) are too damn high! If you like to enjoy a few adult bev erages with friends, you may be feeling the pain of alcoholic inflation — which somehow feels even worse to us than regular inflation these days. Whether it’s draft beers on tap at the local bar to a glass of wine at your favorite restau rant, the cost of drinks has skyrocketed in recent years. Unless you’ve got some rich drinking benefactor in your pocket, it’s easy to stretch the ol’ budget too thin with your boozing habits. So how do you enjoy the libations you crave without breaking the bank? And what can you do to lower the high cost of that enjoyment?
The rent (and beer prices) are too damn high!
6 | August 2022
August 2022 | 7 need some water, dry malt extract and sanitizer.Astirplate, which can easily be made at home, is highly recommended to continually add oxygen to the starter, which is crucial in growing the yeast cell population in a starter. If a stirplate is not available, simply giving the vessel a shake every now and again is better than not adding oxygen at all. Establishing an ideal yeast cell count It is important to have a target num ber of viable yeast cells when formulat ing a starter. This is determined by the beer batch’s volume in relation to the original gravity. Generally speaking, an ale requires 0.75 million viable yeast cells for every milliliter of wort per every degree plato, while lagers require 1.5 million viable yeast cells for every milliliter of wort per degree plato. So, for example, a 5-gallon batch of 1.064 ale wort would require about 227 billion viable yeast cells: (0.75 million viable yeast cells) x (18925 mL of wort) x (16° Plato) = ~227 billion yeast cells Determining gravity, temperature & volume for a starter Gravity: Aim to have the gravity in the 1.030-1.040 range, which will promote healthy growth without introducing too much unneeded stress. Temperature: In general, aim to keep yeast starters around 72°F (22°C), with ales being able to be a few degrees warmer and lagers a few degrees cooler.
Pitching a yeast starter Starters are typically either pitched during high krausen or after active fer mentation has subsided. Pitching at high krausen, or at the height of the fermentation’s activity, which typically is 12-18 hours after pitching the yeast into the starter is the most convenient method. Simply pitch the entire contents of the starter into the wort of your homebrew once it’s ready.Besure the temperature is within 5-15°F of the wort’s temperature when using this method. If it’s too hot or too cold, it can shock the yeast and ulti mately create problem fermentations.
Volume: Determining volume can be a very involved process. The volume of the starter in relation to the number of viable yeast cells added, termed the inoculation rate, will determine the growth potential for the yeast starter. Making a yeast starter: The steps Now, all that’s left is to actually make the starter! The following are general instructions that can be applied to all sizes of Determinestarter:the appropriate starter volume to achieve the target number of viable yeast cells for your beer. Remem ber, you can use an online yeast calcula tor like the one linked above to quickly determine these variables. Weigh out 1 gram of dry malt extract for every 10 milliliters of target starter volume.Addthe dry malt extract to the vessel you will be boiling in. Add enough water to the boil vessel (dry malt already added) to reach the target starter volume. Add about 1/4 teaspoon of yeast nutrient to the boil vessel. You can use slight less for starters under 1-2 L and slightly more for ones larger. Bring to a gentle boil for about 15 minutes. Keep the boil vessel covered to maintain as much of the volume as possible.After15 minutes, allow the wort to cool.Ifneeded, transfer the liquid to the vessel that will hold the starter. (Note: As with beer, anything that comes into contact with the starter wort post-boil should be properly clean and sanitized). Pitch yeast into the chilled starter wort.Use a stir plate or intermittent shak ing to add vital oxygen to the starter. Pitch into beer once ready!
Warm starters or starters with vol umes more than 5% of the main batch volume need additional preparation. First, allow the fermentation to basically complete and then chill the starter by placing it in the fridge until it is near the temperature of the wort it is intended for. Decant the liquid and pitch only the yeastHomecake.brewing can be a wonderful hobby, and a great way to save money. If you love the taste of quality beer but not the high cost of buying it, making your own home brew can be a very smart idea, especially if you incorporate the tips listed above into your first home brewed batch. — DGO Staff
The wild, wacky world of beer infusions
FruitNibsChocolateand Put 1 table spoon of cocoa nibs into your French press, and pour a 12 ounce fruity wheat beer over nibsThethem.chocolateaddarich,bit ter flavor that acts as a counterpoint to the fruity tastes of the beer.
8 | August 2022 The explosion of the craft beer indus try has changed the nature of beer drink ing. Where there were once just a few kinds of pilsner and lager available, today there are hundreds of different options with many new kinds of flavor. What that means for you beer lovers is that you can try an endless parade of exotic taste combi nations, and there is almost ofifeveryappealsomethingcertainlythatwilltoalmostpalate—evenyouaren’tabigfanthebrewedstuff.Forsomedevoted beer aficionados, though, this great bounty is not nearly enough. There are a few of you out there who want to experiment with wild new combinations of tastes, and can’t (or straight up won’t) wait for the craft brewers to get around to their We’reideas.talking about the types of brave explorers who have figured out that they can use the French press to infuse new flavors into their beer in the comfort of their own homes. You know the ones. For those beer devotees, there’s the option of beer infusing. Yes, beer infusing, which is exactly what it sounds like. You infuse your beer with some wild and wacky stuff — much of which works when it absolutely, totally should not. If you want to get into the exciting world of beer infusing, then you won’t need to look far or spend a lot of money for your new hobby. All you need is a French press and some common spices, herbs, fruits, and such that can easily be found in grocery stores and home brew ing supply shops. As a rule, you should let your infu sions steep for three minutes before you strain and taste them. Letting it steep longer than this will strengthen the fla vor, but it could easily overstrengthen it. However, you shouldn’t worry about the outcome too much. You only need to risk one bottle and a few cheap ingredients for each experiment, so you aren’t losing much if it doesn’t work out. You also might end up discovering an incredible flavor combination!
Smoke,Oak, Cocoa, Coconut Put 1 table spoon of shred ded, press.coconutunsweetenedintotheAdd1table spoon of cocoa nibs and ¼ cup of smoked oakPourchips.in a 16 ounce bottle of a bitter ale. The resulting complex flavor is some thing that any beer lover has to try. Infusion is a fun and inexpensive hobby that you can pursue at home. You can use it to explore the true potential of the brewer’s craft on your own, or you can force your buddies to try out your “interesting” concoctions when they stop by randomly. But whatever you do, make sure you warn them what you’re doing beforehand. We don’t need any long standing friend beefs forming from this little infusion experiment, now do we. — DGO Staff
If you need some inspiration, here are a few recipes for different infusions for your beer: Ginger Grapefruit Ale Zest a medium sized grapefruit and put it into the French press. Squeeze the juice from two grapefruit segments into the press as well, and add the pulp as well. Dice 2 teaspoons of fresh ginger root and put it in the press, along with 12 ounces of pale ale. Infuse and enjoy. Smokey Oak and Coffee Stout Add 1 tablespoon of coffee beans, coarsely ground, together with ¼ cup of smoked oak chips, to your French press. Pour in a 12 ounce Imperial Stout, and let it steep. You should know, though, that this is one robust infusion. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
If you’re tired of the same old beer concoctions, consider infusing your beer with these things instead. (Just be sure to warn your friends before you inevitably force them to taste what you made, aight?)
August 2022 | 9
As you may have gathered, getting a good night’s sleep is one of the biggest challenges of living out of a car. To begin, most cars aren’t designed to allow you to lie down flat. If you have an SUV or minivan that allows the rear seats to be folded down to form a large, flat sur face — such as the Honda CR-V, Subaru Forester, Toyota Sienna, Chevy Astro, or Ford Transit — you’re in luck. You’ll just need to plop down a mattress. The Toy ota Prius is popular among car dwellers for the way the seats fold down flat as well.Seats can be folded down in oth er vehicles, too, but the space that’s created can come with level differences. If you live in a less than ideal vehicle, it could be a good idea to build a wooden sleeping platform for the space that you clear up by folding the seats down. You could even build a box platform that you can store stuff in.
Sleeping in a parked car can be illegal in some jurisdictions, and it’s something to worry about. If you can afford it, it would be a good idea to buy an old panel van. That way, passersby wouldn’t be able to see you sleeping inside it. You’ll need a list of good overnight parking spots. Car camping isn’t exactly welcome in some areas, and that’s true even for Colorado, where this type of lifestyle is anything but taboo. What that means is that finding the right place to park in your general area on different nights of the week is important. And, it’s a good idea to not use the same place more than once a week. It’s safer to find a well-lighted spot rather than a dark area. Curtains over your windows could help make sure that it’s dark enough inside; you don’t want to
The state of Colorado tends to attract residents who are looking for alternative living spaces, whether out of necessity or lifestyle preference. That includes residents who are opting into long term car camping — or #vanlife, if you’re interested in that sort of thing — which is just one reason why it’s so common to see decked out sprinter vans with blacked out windows in the parking lots of grocery stores or local parks. Those aren’t just expensive vans; they’re homes — literal mobile homes. People opt to live out of their cars for various reasons, especially in our fair state, which caters to those who are looking for an outdoorsy, more transient lifestyle. But with the climbing cost of traditional homes, this type of housing is becoming even more popular — especial ly among those who aren’t able to swing high rent prices on one full time job. They could perhaps afford rent instead by working two or three jobs, but that lifestyle can be so exhausting that life in a car often seems better by comparison. (Plus, what good is it to live in Colorado when you’re working so much that you can’t take advantage of what it offers?) Others may opt into car living because driving back and forth from work is too exhausting, or because they simply want to drive everywhere around the country and experience different places without having to spend on a hotel room every singleWhateverday. your reasons to live out of your car, it can help to go in with a clear idea of the challenges involved, and the steps you need to take to overcome them. So before you make the full-time shift to official long term car camper, here’s what you should know. You’ll need to make some serious arrangements to sleep well.
Considering a shift to the ColoradoDon’t#vanlife?jumpon that ship until you’ve gotten prepared, goose. Very, very prepared.
10 | August 2022 use newspapers or blankets. These can announce to anyone passing that you are living in your car and get you into trouble. Tinting is also a good idea, both for the darkness and to make it hard for any jerks to look inside for stuff to steal. Every state except Ohio and North Dakota, however, prohibits tinting the entire windshield. Other states have specific restrictions on how dark you can get and what areas you can cover. You want to avoid violating the law if you are to not call attention to yourself. Accessible truck stops and parking lots set up by churches and nonprofits — like Safelot in Colorado — are good ideas, too. You might even obtain your employer’s permission to park in the company parking lot. Walmart parking lots are also notoriously friendly to car campers, so don’t overlook well-lit lots like those when you need a safe place to catch some sleep. You will need to know where to access bathrooms. Finding a quiet, safe spot to park overnight is one thing; having access to facilities is another. You may need to get a pee jar for when you need to urinate at some inconvenient hour. But you do need a real toilet and shower the rest of theManytime.people living out of their cars, especially those in tourist-driven areas, will sign up for memberships at a 24hour fitness center that has showers and toilets. Not only can such a mem bership give you access to bathrooms, but you also get access to all of the workout equipment, which can come in handy for a few different reasons — not the least of which is for working out. Staying fit can be especially important to get your circulation going when you spend a good part of your time in a cramped car. You might also be able to find a 24hour storage facility that offers mem bers bathroom facilities. Do whatever you can to avoid sleeping with the engine running. This may seem like a more obvious tip for new car campers, but it’s not. It’s common for car campers to deal with issues from running vehicle engines con stantly, in part because staying warm or cool is one of the great challenges that come with living in a car. The current heatwave (or any frigid Colorado winter night) might lead you to consider run ning the engine to power the heater or air conditioner, but it can be very costly to deal with. It can wear out your engine prematurely, and more importantly, it could lead to carbon monoxide poison ing. People do die sleeping in their cars with the engine running. In winter, it’s a good idea to buy the warmest blankets you can find, get a ze ro-degree sleeping bag, run the engine to warm up the car for a few minutes, and simply go to bed early. A $25 car space heater may seem like a good fix, but it really wouldn’t be a very workable option, considering how much power they draw. You don’t need to crack a window for oxygen, because cars aren’t airtight and tend to have enough air, anyway.Tostay cool in the summer, cracking the windows and using a car fan are the first ideas to try. A 24 V portable camping air conditioner could be a possibility, but it can cost hundreds of dollars and require car batteries that you would somehow have to charge every day. It would make more sense to buy a portable evaporative cooler. These can be very effective in low-humidity conditions and use very little power. A cooling blanket made of special, ther mo-regulating phase-change materials and a cooling mattress are worth trying as well. Plan for food, which can be your biggest expense. Unless money is no object, food needs to be carefully planned for. The cost of eating out for every meal tends to com pound quickly, which is why so many people who live out of their cars will eat at restaurants with affordable $4 menus or live on canned food. It’s also possible to cook with an in duction cooktop when car camping, and it’s not terribly labor or cost intensive,
August 2022 | 11 which is sweet. For example, you could buy an inverter for your car to be able to plug one in, or you could go to a public park or picnic area that offers an AC outlet. Some people simply choose to work at a restaurant where they can get free food instead. Saving money should still be a freaking priority if possible.
— DGO Staff
When you live an unusual life — i.e. you live in a camper van or another type of vehicle — it can feel as if the normal rules of life don’t have to apply to you. And, to be fair, some won’t. You don’t have to mow your lawn or weed a garden, and you don’t have to do basic maintenance on household appliances or other expensive gadgets. That can lead to justifying yourself frequent in dulgences — but that’s often at the cost of being able to save money. Saving a few bucks (or way, way more) is important, however. Depending on why you’re living in a vehicle, it can mean the difference between putting off necessary expenses and doing things like taking regular care of your health in a medical emergency, paying for repairs if your car should break down, buying a vehicle better suited to living in, and sustaining yourself. Having money to fall back on can be a great psychological boost as well, so you’ll be doing a lot for your mental health if you can carve out some spare cash to toss aside. Make sure that your car is in perfect condition. Let’s face it. There’s a stigma attached to this type of lifestyle, especially if you’re venturing outside of the confines of Coloardo. That means you’re more likely to get pulled over by the police and get into trouble for unpermitted car camping or other petty issues if you give the cops a reason to do it. And one of those automatic reasons is that your car is in poor shape. It can just make life easier to make sure that your car gives the police no reason to be suspicious. That can mean anything from dress ing up your van to making sure your car has the appearance of a working man’s vehicle can keep the cops away. Think about it this way: Pizza delivery cars and plumbers or handmen speed around town all the time and don’t get stopped, because the police tend to accept that working people are not a threat to soci ety. Those who are camping out in cars, though? Well, that may be a different story. Obtain a P.O. box.
Having a place where you can receive physical mail is important for a number of different purposes, not the least of which is getting access to your packages and mail. Since you need an actual home address to be able to get one, you’d need to obtain it before you actually began living in a car. Alternatively, you could use the address of a loved one to get access to a P.O. box.
Renter’s insurance is an actual, real-life option for vanlifers, so consider it. There’s a real possibility that some one at some time will break into your car and steal your belongings. The good news is that while it seems a little unusual, insurance companies do offer renter’s insurance to people who live out of their cars. You simply need to make sure that you don’t hide the fact from them. If you’re doing this out of necessity and not a lifestyle choice, it may also worth looking for a job that comes with housing included — like the manager of a storage facility, a staff member at a resort that caters to tourists, or even apartment building. And while living out of a car can be depressing if you have no other options, it’s important to remem ber that vehicle living isn’t considered particularly uncomfortable. Lots of peo ple opt for this lifestyle, and truckers do something like it for a living — so aside from the obvious mental hurdles you may face if you’re stuck with no other choices, try to remember it’s a lifestyle that you don’t often hear those types of #vanlife people complain about.
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The simplest mead recipes call for just three ingredients: honey, water, and yeast. There are many variations of this recipe, ranging from hippocras (which Feeling a little mead-y? Aren’twe all. If you’re itching for some honey wine, we have good news: You don’t have to go to nerdy RenFest to get your grubby hands on it.
August 2022 | 13 adds spices and grapes) to thalassiomel (mead made with seawater). Part of the fun of brewing mead at home comes from experimenting with different recipes; many fruits and spic es are an excellent addition to mead. Get your mead on Mead making uses essentially the same procedure as making homemade wine.Mix together honey and water, add spices and fruit if desired, and top it off with wine yeast. Pro tip, though: Don’t use baker’s yeast, as it produces unpleasant flavors. Your homebrewed mead will be disgusting if you take that route.Aglass carboy, like a cider bottle or water cooler jug, makes an ideal fermentation container. Cap the carboy with a fermentation lock, which allows excess carbon diox ide to escape without letting in oxygen and other contaminants. Fermentation locks are inexpensive and can be found online or at homebrew stores. For best results, mead should ferment for months. During fermen tation, or every 3-6 weeks, the mead is ‘racked,’ or siphoned into another container or containers while leaving the solids behind. This improves the flavor and produces a smooth, grit-free endInproduct.theUnited States, mead is clas sified as a wine, and home brewers are allowed to make a generous 100 gallons per year for personal use. So if you’re bored this summer or are looking for an easy way to make booze at home — one with endless variations — the grandfather of all fermented beverages is an excellent choice. And yes, you can wear your dumb RenFest costume at home while drink ing it. We’ll begrudgingly allow it. — DGO Staff Queer representation in entertainment has become more and more prevalent in the past couple of decades or so — as it should be. In the early 2000s, shows like The L Word and Queer Eye were some of the only real options that you could get from the mainstream media. And while those shows were exciting because they offered the LGBTQ community at least some representation in the mainstream, even those shows had their share of issues.Take, for example, the bi phobia that was showcased in the L Word. Not ideal, friends. Not ideal at Opportunitiesall. for and varied depictions of the LGB community started to pop up more often, though, after the 2010 decade came to an end. There was still a dearth of trans representation, though — unless you count the trans extras who were hired to depict sex workers in CSI. While there’s nothing wrong with sex work, being restrict ed to just that representation is damaging to the community as a whole. If you want more nuanced and full representations of the LGBTQ community during this holy Pride 2022 time, here are some queer shows that will serve you lewks — and will also serve the LGBTQ community a lot better than those old shows did. (As a bonus, these shows are great to binge while stoned, so it may be a freak ing awesome opportunity for you to support the communi ty or see yourself being repre sented on TV while getting blazed as a mothertrucker. Your call, though. We won’t force you to partake in the delightful ganja traditions of DGO.)
2. Steven Universe While not every character on this excellent cartoon is queer, it’s centered around a lot of queer moments — and it is, in totality, freaking de lightful. It’s been out for quite some time, but if you haven’t seen it yet and need some feel-good TV in your life, try watching an episode to see if you like it! The show focuses on a boy named Steven Universe who is being raised by The Crystal Gems. They’re gem-slashrockTired of the same old heteronormative TV binges? Try diving deep into these four queer-centric shows instead. They’ll fix you up just right. On page 27
1. POSE POSE is a revolutionary program detailing the ball scene in the late ’80s and early ’90s (in a more drama tized way, of course). The ball scene is split into “houses,” where they essentially act as a family and team in compe titions at the balls. The series starts with the emancipation of a member of the House of Abundance, Bianca, who makes her own house. POSE isn’t just a dramatic war of the houses. Instead, it touches on real, tangible issues that plague the LGBTQ community. With a focus on the transgender women of this community, but not limited to that, it talks about transphobia, “passing,” ho mophobia, being kicked out, chosen family, sex work, and more. It’s a wonderful cocktail of feel-good family moments, overcoming adversity, and heart-wrenching emotional scenes. As a bonus (which should be a given), all of the characters in the show are ac tually played by queer actors, which is revolutionary in the case of the trans actors.
The idea of eating a human being’s flesh is completely and totally appalling to most people, and rightfully so. It’s not exactly a social or cultural norm — and the fact that some species will cannibalize their own is baffling. But, it happens — and obvi ously humans aren’t immune to this penomenon. Not only have there been a ton ofpoprecentculture
From the legendary Colorado cannibal, Alferd Packer, to the vicious Kentucky Cannibal, here are the stories of the flesh-eating men who once terrorized the Southwest examples of cannibalism, from Jeffrey Dahmer to the Canni bal Cop — but there are tons and tons of legends about humans killing and eating other humans that have been passed down through time. As you may have gathered, though, most of the legends aren’t just stories to scare children into being careful (or aware, or whatever the goal of scaring kids may be). There are also chilling truths that lie behind many of the legends. And, what’s perhaps even more horrifying is that not every story of cannibalism features a mentally ill killer like Dahmer, who — while clearly and absolutely cul pible for his own actions — gave us some room to feel empathy or understanding for the plight behind the actions. In fact, sometimes the canni balism occured for survival purposes, like with the Donner party, a group of American pioneers who migrated to California in a wagon train from the Midwest. During the winter of 1846, these pioneers fell victim of a number of mishaps, which led them to be stranded in the snowy Sierra Nevada mountain range. And, of course it happened without enough provisions on hand to get through the winter. This led to some of the pioneers resorting to cannibal ism to survive — and they ate the bodies of their fellow pioneers who had succumed to the elements, starvation, or illness while stranded on the moun tain However,range.the stories surrounding cannibalism rarely focus on the horrors of necessary cannibalism — which is what occurred within the Donner party. Rather, the stories tend to revolve around those seem ingly “normal” people who choose to cannibalize others because they can’t resist their de praved instincts, and rightfully so. We can all, at least in the ory, understand the survival instinct that kicks in during times of extreme desperation. Humans are ultimately animals, after all, and at some point the will to live surpasses any rational thought we may have about the idea of eating human flesh. That’s something most of us can reconcile. What’s significantly more puzzling is that there are humans who just give into the urge to eat other humans, and we tend to tell those stories instead. That’s how some of America’s earliest cannibal killers have continued to be relevant in modern culture, and will likely live on in infa my for the unforeseen future. And that includes a few early cannibals that prowled the Wild West, like the ones whose stories are below.
There is perhaps nothing more disconcerting than the idea of cannibalism.
Recounting the crazy tales of cannibals in the American Wild West
Liver-Eating Johnson John Jeremiah Garrison Johnston was born in New Jersey in 1824, and eventually became a mountain man of the American Wild West who (spoiler alert) killed and ate parts of humans. It was a weird trajectory, to say the least. Here’s ol’ Johnston’s story.Johnston seemed like he was on the right track when he enlisted to fight in the Mexican-American War, where he served aboard a fighting ship. However, that stint in the war didn’t last long. Turns out Liver-Eat ing Johnson couldn’t control his
16 | August 2022 impulses and deserted after striking a superior officer. The details of what happened after desertion are a bit sketchy, to say the least, but as the story goes, the soon-to-be cannibal changed his name to John Johnston af ter desertion and then traveled west to try his hand at gold digging — ultimate ly landing in Alder Gulch, Montana Ter ritory. He also became a “woodhawk,” supplying cord wood to steamboats, which was an honest living at the time. But what happened from there is shocking — and has been the stuff of rumors and legends ever since. And, the most pervasive legend revolves around Johnston’s wife, a member of the Flathead American Indian tribe. As legend tells it, Johnston’s wife was killed by a young Crow brave and his fellow hunters, which devastated the Jersey native turned mountain man. This turn of events prompted Johnson to embark on a vendetta against the tribe, and he put the muscles he developed cutting wood to work in more sinister ways. According to historians, he mur dered hundreds of Native Americans from the Crow Nation in revenge for the loss of his wife at the hands of a Crow brave. By the end of his killing spree, Johnson had allegedly killed and scalped his victims — and then con sumed their livers. “He supposedly killed and scalped more than 300 Crow Indians and then devoured their livers” to avenge the death of his wife, and “as his reputation and collection of scalps grew, Johnson became an object of fear,” historian Andrew Mehane South erland said. One tale in particular is extremely harrowing. According to sources famil iar with the story, Johnson went on a trip of over 500 miles in the winter to sell whiskey to his Flathead kin when he was ambushed by a group of Black foot warriors. The Blackfoot planned to sell him to the Crow, which likely would have earned them a big bounty since Johnson was murdering and eat ing their people. During the ambush, Johnson was stripped to the waist, tied with leather thongs, and put in a tee pee with one guard. But Johnson managed to break through the straps and then knock out the guard with a kick. He took the guard’s knife and — you guessed it — scalped him (and maybe ate his liver? Who knows. Time was probably of the essence.) He then escaped into the woods and fled to the cabin of Del Gue, his trapping partner, a journey of about 200 miles. In perhaps an even more surprising turn of events, Johnson eventual ly made peace with the Crow, who became “his brothers.” This led his personal vendetta against them to fi nally come to an end after 25 years and scores of slain Crow warriors. And, while there was overwhelm ing evidence of Johnson committing these murders, he was never charged with a crime. In fact, the United States government sanctioned his genocidal actions and allowed him to serve in the Union Army during the Civil War. Even more surprising? Johnson was then allowed to work in law enforce ment after the war. He eventually died in a veteran’s home in California. Originally buried in a veteran’s cemetery in Los Angeles his remains were relocated to the town of Cody, Wyoming in the mid-1970s. The Kentucky Cannibal Born in 1828, Levi Boone Helm would eventually become known as the Kentucky Cannibal. Despite that moniker, Helm actually only lived in Kentucky for a brief period as a boy. This cannibal was nomadic, spending time in Missouri, California, Idaho, Utah, Oregon, Texas, and Montana. Helm’s story goes like this. He married in 1848, but struggled to settle into domestic life, and by that we mean he had a penchant for getting drunk and beating up his wife. Stellar, stellar human, this one.
Helm’s reputation for heavy drink ing and vicious domestic violence was so well-known, in fact, that his own father covered the costs when his wife petitioned for divorce. The courts sided with the wife, ruining what little repu tation Helm had left. In turn, he decided to move on, heading to California in search of gold. Knowing the journey from Missouri to California would be risky alone, Helm invited his cousin to join him. Helm was angered when his cousin refused — and made the (very rational) decision to stab him in the chest. His cousin died instantly, spurring Helm to fleeButtown.the stars were not aligned for Helm, who didn’t make it far before being captured by another relative. He was placed into a mental asylum, but the complacent guards allowed him to escape, and he immediately headed for California instead. It was during Helm’s quest to make it to California that the initial murder spree started. In some cases, his mur ders were committed during fights, but many were premeditated. He enjoyed life on the run, partnering with a small gang of fellow outlaws. And, what’s more is that Helm told his companions that he hadn’t just mur dered people, but also had frequently eaten his victims. The band of fellow outlaws almost certainly thought that Helm was just blowing smoke, but they would soon find out exactly how dangerous Helm was. During an attack on the way to Fort Hall, Idaho, the gang and Helm were forced into the wilderness. It was a difficult journey took their lives one by one, until only Helm survived. At some point, Helm was found — and he was eating a human leg. To justify this, Helm claimed the man had taken his own life and he didn’t want to waste the meat. Like…what. And the rest of Helm’s life would continue in a similar way. He would go on the run, seek shelter and compan ionship, and eventually give in to his murderous instincts. He would also rob, murder, and cannibalize travelers. Helm wouldn’t be free forever, though. At one point, he was arrested after shooting an unarmed man in a saloon.That could have ended his horrific killing spree, but family loyalty got in the way. After the shooting, Helm asked his brother, “Old Tex,” for help. His brother paid off the witnesses, and without those witnesses to convict him, Helm could not be convicted. He was then released and soon returned to his nomadic, murderous life. Eventually, Helm partnered with Henry Plummer’s infamous gang, “The Innocents.” This is what would prove to be Helm’s downfall. Not long after Helm joined the gang, the group was arrested and given a secret trial. They were all convicted of their crimes and sentenced to a public hanging.Thousands of people gathered to watch the notorious gang die on Jan uary 14, 1864, in Montana’s Virginia City. Helm’s reign of terror finally came to an end when he willingly leapt off the hangman’s box, shouting “Let ‘er rip!” as he jumped. The Colorado Cannibal He may have claimed he only turned to cannibalism to survive, but Alferd Packer was a dangerous man to know. Born in Pennsylvania in 1842, Packer had a contentious relationship with his parents and left home in his late teens. He worked as a shoemaker in Minneso ta until the start of the Civil War, when he joined the Union Army. Packer served honorably, but was quickly discharged due to uncon trollable epilepsy. He didn’t give up, though, and traveled to Iowa to enlist again. That stint turned out to be a bit more successful, but ultimately Packer served less than a year in the Union Army before his frequent seizures led to a second discharge. This kicked off a pattern of short stints with his subse quent jobs — at least until he started working as a trail guide. Packer’s skills as a guide were sub par. He lost his way often and lacked basic survival skills. He was argumen tative, lied constantly, and was known to Despitesteal. these failings and a lack of money and supplies, Packer was able to join an expedition leaving from Utah on its way to newly discovered gold fields in Breckenridge, Colorado, in Novem berTheir1873.journey was slow and ardu ous, and by January, the party had to temporarily seek refuge at a friendly Native American encampment led by Chief Ouray in Montrose, Colorado. By that point, they were less than 100 miles from their destination. The party was afraid of being beaten to the gold and wanted to persevere, but the wagons couldn’t cross the icy mountains. This led to the group split ting into two groups, one with 11 men on foot, who were led by Packer, who was hell-bent on trying to navigate the rest of the journey.
August 2022 | 17
The other group, led by a man named Preston Nutter, remained at the camp.Chief Ouray gave food and direc tions to Packer’s party, and they set out in early February to try and find the gold fields in Breckenridge. Shortly after leaving, though, the party led by Packer split again after Packer declared he knew the area and was certain that cutting across the mountains would saveHetime.didn’t manage to convince every one, though, and five of the men in the party decided to follow Chief Ouray’s directions instead. Their journey was perilous and they nearly starved, but were rescued just in time. The five men who followed Packer were less fortunate.Packer’s party was woefully unpre pared for the trek across the San Juan Mountains. They lacked snowshoes and heavy clothing. They didn’t even have flint for reliably lighting fires. They carried just a few matches, a pis tol, two rifles, a handful of ammunition, some knives, and a single hatchet. Ultimately, Packer was the doomed group’s sole survivor, so what exactly happened in the San Juans is unknown. What is known is that when Packer stumbled into civilization begging for help he had a rifle and knife on him, along with a satchel and a coffee pot. He said he’d been abandoned by his party after becoming snow blind and had survived on nothing but roots and flower buds. However, his appearance said otherwise. The people who gave him food and shelter said he certainly didn’t look as ragged — nor did he appear as though he’d been wandering the wilderness alone for months. He also appeared to be well-fed, but Packer made it clear he didn’t want to talk about his experience. He sold his rifle for $10, saying he needed the money to get home to Pennsylvania. In the first town he came to, Sa guache, Packer spent hundreds of dol lars at the saloon and general store. He drank heavily, and told different ver sions of his story to anyone who would listen. People grew skeptical when the rest of his party never showed up, and their suspicions deepened when a man named Preston Nutter arrived in town. Because Packer had a skinning knife that wasn’t his and a seemingly unend ing supply of money, it led Nutter was convinced Packer had done something to his friends. Nutter and Packer got into a fight, and Packer decided to moveWhileon.this was happening, the party of five men that had followed Chief Ouray’s directions were almost to Saguache. As they traveled, they heard tales of Packer’s stories and refuted them. They said the men they had known wouldn’t abandon anyone to die. They also said Packer was a no torious liar and should not be trusted under any circumstances. In turn, the authorities decided to question Packer, but to avoid spook ing him, they asked him for his help searching for his missing companions. An officer named General Adams held an investigative council to get to the bottom of the matter. As the hearing began, two Ute hunt ers rushed into the building, waving strips of dried human flesh. Packer fainted, falling to the floor in a crum pled heap. When he woke, he begged for mercy, swearing he would make a fullPacker’sconfession.cannibalistic confession varied significantly over the years. He initially claimed that while they were trapped in the mountains, his com panions killed one man for food: Israel Swan. Desperate to survive, Packer joined them in eating Swan and divid ing his money and belongings equally.
Shannon Bell was found with mostly skeletal legs, which were splayed with arms at his sides. Bell’s legs had been crudely cut to the bones, and his torso was also wholly flayed, indicating that he had been skinned. Adding to the theory was the fact that his were still fully covered in skin. His face appeared to be almost normal, though, complete with a thick red beard and bushy hair. However, the top of Bell’s skull had been ripped open and his brains were lying on the ground beneath him. The lack of noticeable decay in his face suggested that he had been the last to die. The three men whose bodies were still at least somewhat intact appeared to have had flesh and muscle excised from choice and meaty locations. And, it appeared that no attempt had been made to consume bone marrow or any organs at all. Officials returned to the jail to confront Packer with the evidence, but security wasn’t exactly top notch back then, and they found that Packer had made an escape. He managed to evade the law until 1883, when he was finally captured in Wyoming. He had changed his name to John Schwartze and was only caught because one of the original members of the traveling party recognized him. Packer was then brought to trial in Lake City and was ultimately found guilty. He was sentenced to the gal lows, but his lawyers found a loophole that prevented Colorado from sentenc ing him to death. However, he was still held responsible for the murder of his companions, and was sentenced to 40 years in prison. But Packer didn’t actually serve four decades in prison. He filed numerous appeals and was released on parole after serving just 18 years.
Packer claimed this scenario repeat ed itself until only himself and a man named Bell were left. They made a pact not to eat each other and continued traveling. Packer said Bell eventually tried to murder him, so Packer killed him in self-defense. And, because he was still worried about starving, Packer butchered Bell and packed as much meat as he could carry. He claimed he threw away the remaining meat when he saw civili zation, but that he did so reluctantly because he’d started to enjoy the taste. At one point, General Adams launched a search party to find the party’s remains, but was unsuccessful in the mission. This failure led to out rage, with people demanding Packer’s immediate execution.
The bodies of Packer’s traveling companions were found by accident in August of 1874. All of the bodies were found in Dead Man’s Gulch, a short walk from Lake City, Colorado. An in vestigation determined that all of them were killed with extreme violence.
Packer then changed his story, this time claiming a blizzard had trapped the men for days with no game. Even tually Israel Swan died of starvation. After eating him, it was only a matter of time before the party sacrificed another and another, until again Packer and Bell were the last two alive.
The meat ran out quickly, though, and two days later the four of them agreed that a man named Miller would die next. Once again, his body and money were divided by the party.
It was also clear that Packer had desecrated the corpses, but after months of exposure to the elements, investigators couldn’t be certain that cannibalism had occurred. However, there was evidence suggesting the men were killed before supplies ran out, and the authorities theorized that Packer killed them for their belongings before getting snowed in nearby.
For starters, Frank Miller’s head was missing entirely from the campsite, and both Miller’s and Israel Swan’s corpses had been feasted upon by scavengers, leaving little more than scattered bones. Swan’s skull had a jagged chunk missing out of it, and it was theorized that Miller’s head had been carried away by an animal.
Packer was then imprisoned, but General Adams was hesitant to execute him without physical proof of a crime. That evidence would eventually come to the surface, though.
The bodies of George Noon and James Humphrey were whittled down to flayed torsos of rotting viscera at tached to skeletal legs. However, they were intact and had bearded faces, with Humphrey’s face being slightly more decayed than Noon’s. Nooon and Humphrey had received blows to the head by what looked to be a hatchet based on the damage done ot their skulls, and their bodies had noticeable broken bones.
» And it’s just as smelly, too — but we mean that in the very,very best way. (Oh, just read the review already.) On page 26
And it’s true. I do love the smell of this strain, down to the depths of my soul. In fact, I just opened the container again while typing this to get
18 | August 2022
What are you reminded of when you hear the words “New York City diesel”? Is it the heat radiating off the tarry streets in Brooklyn? Is it the acrid stench of gasoline that’s fueled by bumper-to-bumper traffic in the busiest city in the nation? Or is it something else entirely? Well, while I can’t answer that ques tion for you, I know what the answer would be for me. Prior to last week, my answer would have been the hot pave ment in the middle of NYC. But now that I’ve reviewed the New York City Diesel strain from Prohibition Herb, that phrase reminds me of some very, very good weed. If the name of that strain sounds famil iar (more familiar than just some random city-themed strain), you may actually be acquainted with it in some way. That’s be cause the New York City Diesel strain isn’t unique to Prohibition — it’s been around for a very long time — but it is one of the new premium strains on the dispensary shelves. And, between the nearly 27% THC and the fat as heck nugs, it looked pretty darn excellent to me, so I had to try it. Let me tell you this right now: It did not disappoint.Forstarters, this really is a gorgeous strain. I’ve come to expect the majority of Prohibition’s strains to be pretty, but this one is next effing level, you guys. A straight up 10 out of 10. The buds are bright green and layered with thick, orange hairs, so you don’t even have to squint to see that this one is a true redhead. And, when I took a closer look at the goods after I got home — i.e. I popped open the lid on the jar — I’m pretty sure I gasped very loudly at what I saw. I had picked up an eighth of this strain, but what I found was that there were only three nugs of weed in the jar — but it wasn’t because I was shorted. Nope. There were only three nugs in that eighth because one of those nugs was, I kid you not, taking up most of the room. It was the fattest little porker I have ever seen. We’re not talking about a nug the size of my thumb, either. We’re talking a nug that was the length of one of my fingers — and twice the width. A true fatty bobatty right there, and I was not upset about it. I was so impressed, in fact, that I had to take a picture of it in comparison to my hand to show all of my friends who live in non-legal states. I’m not sure they really appreciated getting pics of my giant weed, but maybe they should make better life choices and move to Colorado or whatev er.And, once I was done upsetting my remotely located friends, I put the giant fatty back into its resting place and picked out the smallest nug from the jar to get to smoking. While I would normally just tear it up with my fingers because I’m lazy, these big booty Judys were so sticky that they weren’t easy to tear. So, into the grinder it went. That was a smart accidental move, my friends. As I ground that sucker up, it pro duced what is quite possibly the best smell I’ve ever smelled from a nug. Turns out these nugs smell like a brilliant mixture of citrus, spice, and incense, but I was so impressed with the sheer size of them that I’d almost overlooked it (or oversmelled it) entirely. Reminiscent of New York City traffic smells it is not. Actually, let me let my notes do the talking on this strain’s scent. In my notes, I jotted down the following: “I’ve never loved the smell of weed before. Not like I love this smell.”
New York City Diesel is a strain as sticky as the tarry streets of NYC
DURANGO • 8AM-10PM 730 S. CAMINO DEL RIO | 970.247.2420 PAGOSA SPRINGS • 8AM-9PM 270 E. PAGOSA ST. | 970.264.4420 SILVERTON • NOW OPEN 71463 US HWY 550 970.387.5420 OPEN DAILY FOURDISPENSARIESPREMIERCORNERS’ FRIENDLIEST BUDTENDERS BEST AWARD-WINNINGSELECTIONFLOWER FLOWER · EDIBLES · CONCENTRATES VAPES · TOPICALS · PRE-ROLLS SMOKING ACCESSORIESCome Check Out Our Newest Store! 2 miles north of Silverton On Hwy 550 GRAMS AS LOW AS $5 SPECIALSOUNCEDAILYCONCENTRATES$15 AS LOW AS NEW STORE IN SILVERTON! August 2022 | 19 It has been a very long time since I have lit up a bowl, inhaled, and then immediately started to choke on the smoke.I’mnot trying to toot my own horn here, but over the many years of review ing weed that I have put in, I’ve gotten used to the feeling of that harsh first hit — the one that hits the back of your throat like a Mack truck and then com pels you to lose a large chunk of your lung. You know the one. And, the fact that I typically use a Pax 3 (not #sponcon; it’s just what I use) to smoke it helps. The weed in that thing isn’t combusting like it would in a pipe, so it just tends to be a lot smoother of a hit. Apparently a smooth hit with my overpriced gadget is not a guarantee, though — which was just one lesson I learned with the Nana OG strain, which I’m reviewing in this issue for The Green House in Durango. If you aren’t super familiar with Nana OG, here’s the gist. This strain is a hybrid of two very popular strains: Banana and OG Kush. I love OG Kush and Banana, and so do a lot of other people, so I was pretty excited to try this one. Well, let me tell you. It did not dis appoint, from the beautiful nugs to the choking and gasping for air.. Before I get to how I choked, though, let’s start with how it looked. The first thing I noticed when I popped open the lid on the container was how fluffy and completely green the Nana OG nugs were. I’m not sure why the bright green color surprised me, but it did. Maybe I was expecting something a little more yellow since there’s banana in the strain name, but that is not what I got. However, when I looked closely, I did spot a few light orange hairs throughout, so maybe there’s more color in there than I thought. I also kind of expected it to smell like bananas, but when I stuck my nose in the container, all I got were hints of, well, weed. It smells like freaking weed. Danky, thick, skunky weed. That’s fine with me, but don’t expect this strain to smell like a fruit bowl or you will be sorelyAnd,disappointed.whenIbroke the weed apart to put it in the grinder, that skunky funk only became more noticeable. Again, I like it. I don’t mind my weed smelling like weed. But if you hate the stench of your good ol’ regular bag of weed, you may not love this one. You’ll probably love its effects, though. At just 24.95% THC, you wouldn’t think this strain would outweigh some of the heavyweight strains, but I’ll be darned if it doesn’t. It is POTENT. And I do mean potent. This is probably not a strain that you should smoke if you need to get work done, cook dinner, or otherwise function, because there is a good chance it will render you useless. That’s what it did to me, anyway. But not before it knocked me on my coughing ass. The first hit of this stuff and I was choking like I’d never inhaled weed smoke before. It hit my throat like a freight train, slamming into my esopha gus with a 1-2 punch. Pretty impressive, if you ask me. And that coughing and gasping for air continued well after the first hit. Every time I inhaled another hit of Nana OG I choked — but I also got very high very quickly into smoking, so the choking made me laugh hysterically every time. This went on for a while, the pattern of choking and then laughing, choking and then laughing — which I’m sure was a ridiculous site to see from the outside. Once the bowl was finally cashed, my lungs and throat were on fire, but my brain? Well, let’s just say it was com pletely and totally calm and introspec tive. But for me, that’s totally and com pletely fine. I have a hard time shutting my brain off these days. I’ve been an introvert since, like, forever — probably the beginning of time — which means I live in my own head. I don’t need compa ny. My spinning hamster wheel of a brain can entertain itself, and entertain itself it does. It is not uncommon for me to wake up with early 1990s pop songs stuck in my head, if that tells you anything about how my brain typically works. My brain on Banana OG, though? There was no hamster wheel. There were no pop songs. I just wanted to wax poetically about everything I could think of to show off how smart I am instead. I guess you could say I was thinking in a straight line instead of spouting off with a crooked tree branch worth of ideas. Whether or not I was saying anything worth listening to, I have no idea — but I do remember feeling very smart for a while. And it just so happened that my brain was on smart mode while my arms and legs cooperating.stoppedThey
All hail your new nana, Nana OG
On page 26
» The little strain sure ain’t calm and kind like your real grandma, but that’s precisely why you’ll love it
Riding the Blue Kudu »Wave Don’t overlook these deliciously delicious (and potent) gummies or you’ll live to regret it. That’s definitely a threat AND a promise. On page 26
20 | August 2022 I was on the hunt this past weekend, and you will probably not be surprised to learn that it was not for some rare treasure, but for some weed, that is. I’ve been smoking a lot more than I usually do as of late, and I’ve basically depleted a large part of my stash. That makes me nervous (no clue as to why) so when ever it gets low, I do my best to remedy the situation immediately. One cannot live without weed, you know. Not this one,Anywho,anyway.the dire situation happening in my weed drawer meant that it was time to visit a dispensary and stock up like a redneck convinced the govern ment is about to take away his second amendment rights. When I arrived at my local haunt, it appeared that everyone else had the exact same idea. I found myself in line with a bunch of equally anxious-looking patrons who were as eager to get their sticky mitts on the stuff I was looking for. After a bit of a wait, I finally made it to the front of the line where a very helpful budtender awaited. I grabbed a couple of grams of the strains I knew to be tried and true, but I also needed to freshen up on my edible game. My budtender immediately knew what to recommend: Blue Kudu’s Fruit Juiced Gummies, the watermelon-lemonade flavor. Not only is this sativa gummy vegan and gluten-free, but it’s also made with 25% fruit juice (which may have been what officially sold me). There’s a little more than 5 mg per piece, and the bag comes with 20 pieces total. This would last me a whole three days... or maybe even just one, depending on how deli cious they were. And delicious they were indeed. These gummies are proof that the cannabis industry is really upping their edibles game. I don’t know if I can stress enough how good these gummies taste. The watermelon-lemonade blend is completely seamless. If you handed me a handful of these edibles and told me they were regular ol’ fruit snacks, I’d believe you in a heartbeat. That’s how smooth and non-weedy they tasted. Sweet and juicy. Just like your mom. Boom,Someroasted.edibles seem to take hours to kick in, while others hit you like a bus after ten10 minutes. These edibles took about an hour before I felt their slimy tentacles over my brain, but once that feeling started to wash over my gray matter, let’s just say that I was com pletely done for. And, it wasn’t just that I was super stoned. To keep it short and simple, I was an utter dumbass on these gum mies. Truly. It was pathetic. I could barely remember my own name, let alone recall what ac
What happens if you ask a couple of potheads some questions about weed? » Well, you’ll get all the answers you were never looking for, of course. Lucky, lucky you.
August 2022 | 21 Hi there! It’s time for another Q&A with our good buddies Blaze and Puf. These two potheads are here to answer all of the burning questions (pun intend ed) you’ve ever had about cannabis. Take advantage of it while you can; that’s basically all they’re good for — that and smoking weed — so you might as well take advantage of their useless knowl edge as you see fit. Have questions to ask these two fools? Send them to editor@dgomag.com and we’ll do our best to answer them. And, feel free to send them allll over — your wild, wacky, and just plain weird ques tions about weed. Nothing shocks us at this point. And we do mean nothing. This is a dumb question, but I’m a 48-year-old lady and I’ve been smoking for 32 years now. I smoke more than three times a day — like it never leaves my hand. How can I get high now that I’ve been smoking for so long? I can get relaxed a bit but no more than that. I need help on what to do! Puf: Well, first of all, that isn’t a dumb question. I have had this question for my self many times over the last few years. Tolerance is a bitch, ain’t it. I’m going to insert the obligatory “I’m not a doctor so this is not medical advice” here, but I think I can help with some anecdotal information. So first of all, I’m guessing it’s been a while since you switched up your intake methods, right? Like, maybe you’re a ha bitual joint smoker or like to get relaxedbut-not-high by smoking out of a bong? Yeah, that happens to me, too. We’re all creatures of habit, and part of the problem I’ve had is that I really like to stick to what I know. That sounds borderline ridiculous, but if I’m not re viewing a product, I have my favorite two or three rigs or batteries I use. In other words, I’m lazy and don’t like to have to make changes to my stoned routine. That can lead to ruts like the one you’re having. My body has become super tolerant of certain concentrates, for example. I find it super effing easy to grab a vape and cart when I’m laying around being super productive (i.e. watching junk on TV). The more I use that vape and cart, the less I notice the high.I’ve noticed, however, that when I am LESS lazy, like when I switch it up be tween concentrates, flower, and edibles, I am noticeably more aware of the high. Rather than getting relaxed, I get stoned like I used to. You can also take a break from THC, but honestly, that sounds like shit to me. If you decide to do this, you can essentially reset your THC clock. In fact, research shows that while THC can deplete your CB1 receptors, they can recover over time and return to their previous levels if you take breaks. And, you don’t even have to take them for that long. Two weeks is enough to get the job done. I’m not going to do it with you in solidarity, but that’s an easy way to start over — even after decades of smoking.Youcan also try adding some CBD to the mix. I’ve found that flower with CBD and THC gets me a lot higher than just high-THC bud. That is purely anecdotal, mind you, but I swear that the entourage effect is real as hell. It’s worth a try any way. And there are lots of good flower
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Another big difference between products is consistency which can play a part in preference for some stoners. Shatter tends to be glossy and brittle. If you’re dabbing with shatter, it can feel like a guessing game as far as dosage because of its non-malleable texture. On the other hand, shatter has the capacity to make you so high, you’ll think you in vented golf. Wax and crumble, however are more creamy and malleable, making them a bit easier to use when you’re
August 2022 | 23 is extracted using butane or a similar solvent to leech the good stuff from the plant matter. That leaves you with a concentrate high in THC and flavor that will, in fact, knock your dang socks off when you inhale it. Wax is produced using dry flower and is much easier to produce than shatter, which is the finickiest little beotch of concentrates. Shatter is also produced from dried flower but it’s notoriously hard to produce. However, there are tons of pros to it if you can pull it off. For example, shatter doesn’t degrade as quickly as wax. It’s pretty shelf-stable so it can be kept for a lot longer. Slight tweaks in the extraction process are how you get either wax or shatter. <Note: Feel free to Google a bunch of chemistry mumbo-jumbo if you must know more. The internet knows all. I know limited things. Wax tends to be less shelf stable and degrades much more quickly than shat ter. How-so-ever, it’s easier to work with because it’s malleable. I like it cause I can just stick my dumb ol’ dab pen in the jar and take a hit. Easy freaking peasy. Other than that, I really don’t think there’s much difference — but that’s based on my experience alone. Don’t come at me with some scientific jargon in our Instagram DMs. I’m sure that isn’t totally accurate. Either way, both get me blazed face, so I’m not going to complain.Samething goes for live resin. While this concentrate will ALSO get you super freaking high, it’s produced by different means. Rather than using dried flower, live resin is made by using the freshest cannabis possible. The buds are basically flash-frozen right after they’re picked, which helps to preserve the flavor of those good ol’ terpenes. The real difference is in the flavor. Live resin is a lot more flavorful than shatter or wax, and everyone loves the good terpenes. It usually costs you a bit more to buy, though. Whether the ter penes are worth the price hike is your call, but I think they can be. Depends on your budget and your must-haves for your cannabis products, I suppose. Anyway, that was a tangent. I’ll let Blaze weigh in with some dumb junk they Googled now to fill in the holes.
After all that writing I am in need of a smoke break. I think I’ll bust out the live resin to stay on theme. Blaze: Hey now! I put a lot of effort skimming Google headlines! My brain hurts after reading all that, and yet I still somehow have more information to add.
dabbing. Live resin is more glue-like and tends to be a helluva lot more expensive than shatter, wax, and crumble. RIP to my paycheck when I’m in the mood for live resin. I’m vegan but love edibles! How do I now which ones to get when I go to a dispensary?
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Puf: Well, first of all, thank you for not berating us with a bunch of pro-vegan information. We love your people, and we love your love for animals and living things, but the vegan crusades are not the way.That said, you’d be surprised at how many edibles are vegan. Dude or dudette, you have so many freaking choices for your lifestyle! Cannabis manufacturers love to put out vegan products!Ifyou’re not sure where to start, I’m going to go basic here and tell you to ask a budtender. They know what’s up with their edibles. You can also keep certain product lines in mind, too. For example, I’m pretty sure most, if not all, of Wana’s Sour Gummies are 100 per cent free of gelatin. That makes them vegan by default. So you have one ally right there, homie. Keef Sparkling is also vegan, and it’s freaking healthy, too! This THC-infused sparkling water has zero sugar, zero animal byproducts and no calories. You
Here’s the thing about weed. It kinda does what it wants in our bodies depending on the strain, the dosage (i.e. how much we smoked at the time), how much we’ve eaten (or drankety-drank), and other factors. It also totally depends on the mode of ingestion, too. For example, I say eff bongs. Bongs ruin my life. Or, rather, I ruin my life with bongs because I don’t know and or care about my limits when I’m smoking a fat bowl out of a bong. And then, 20 minutes after that thing is cashed, I’m sweating bullets, high out of my mind, and — on occasion — am also superSamenauseated.thinggoes for most edibles. I can smoke a ton, but if I eat a few edibles, I get very, very high to the point of non-functional and then find myself aimlessly wandering the aisles of a rural Nebraska gas station looking for a specific type of pickle popcorn. (Just ask Blaze.)
Puf: Yes. Everything is wrong with you. (I kid! I kid! You’re totally normal.)
SanExperienceJuanCollege. healthy fools will love it. CannaPunch also offers a ton of drink options that are vegan as well as options in their line of gummies, which are sold under the brand Highly Edible. There are probably a million others I’m forgetting, but that’s where the dang budtender is more useful than I am. The good news is that there are plenty of options and your local dispensary gurus can tell you what is or isn’t vegan. They won’t steer you wrong. Promise. Now go forth with your animal-loving self and get high on some vegan edibles. They’re undoubtedly going to taste bet ter than that quinoa you ate for dinner last night. Blaze: Come to think of it, it seems like there’s more vegan-edible options than non-vegan these days. Puf is on the money with this one though. A GOOD budtender will help you navigate the shelves, espe cially if you have specific dietary needs. Puf has already touched on a lot of really great, common brands but I’ll add a few more here as well. In 2019, Incredibles, who has been a big cannabis player since it became legalized in Colorado, came out with a vegan fruit tart option. If you’re looking for something with awards, SuckIT Edibles by Canyon Cul tivation are friggin delicious and they come in flavors like Boysenberry, Sour Watermelon, and Fruit Punch. There are also lots of companies that make solely vegan cannabis products, so not to worry! The world is your (very high) vegan oyster. I’m having trouble sleeping at night but don’t like to smoke. Will edibles help instead? Puf: Well, while I can’t say definitively that edibles will make you sleep like a gosh-darn baby, I can tell you that they knock me the hell out — but not before making me a goofball of nonsensical ideas! I’ve always been a little sensitive to the effects of edibles, so if I take an indi ca edible or a hybrid, it will almost cer tainly put me to sleep for long stretches of time. Like, we’re talking eight straight ass hours of time — which is unheard of for me. My brain is basically a spinning hamster wheel that goes all day, every day. But something in the edibles (hint: the THC) shuts it off. It’s awesome and I love it, but I also just opt to smoke an indica strain or concentrate before bed instead. I like to know that I’ll wake up with a clear head whenever I need to (there could be rob bers or something to contend with), and I can’t seem to do that with edibles. So I guess I’m not really the person to ask. That said, I do have a ton of friends and family members who rely on edibles for sleep. Freaking insomniacs every where! And, funny enough, they all love a certain type of edible for it (hint, the Wyld sleep line — I can’t remember what it’s called but your friendly neigh borhood budtender will know) to get the job Theredone.aretons of edible options out there, too — and a lot have been formulated for sleepytime, so the short answer is yes, I do think edibles will help. Just make sure you get some advice and choose the right ones. Don’t just blindly grab a sativa or something — or you could end up in the opposite boat instead. Blaze: Everybody’s a little different, but like for many people, edibles may just be the ticket you need to a good night’s sleep. Obviously, if you’re having serious sleep issues, like insomnia, you’ll want to consult your doctor, but in other instances, edibles might help. Both CBD and THC have properties that could help you sleep, but if you want to avoid getting stoned before you go to bed, go with cannabis products that have high CBD content and low THC. Some companies, like 1906, make edibles specifically to help users sleep. If you’re really struggling to find something that works for you, however, be sure to ask your friendly neighbor hood budtender for some suggestions.
Now, is that the weed’s fault? Nah. It’s my body’s fault. I overdo it and my body reacts accordingly. Or, in the case of the edibles, my body just processes them differently than other pe ople’s bodies process them. That said, I don’t have the same reac tion as you do to sativas and indicas, no matter how I ingest them. Sativas make me wired and hyper-focused, and can give me anxiety too. Pretty textbook. Indicas, on the other hand, make me sleepy as a mug. And hybrids? Well, who even knows what those do. Depends on the strain. But just because your body reacts dif ferently doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It just means that you may process your weed a little different ly than I do. If I were you, I’d just swap the strains accordingly. When I want to get wired and focus, I’d smoke an indica. If I wanted to crash the heck out, I’d smoke a sativa. Does it sound weird? Yeah, kinda. But who cares. It’s a cool party trick. I’m impressed, anyway.
Whenever I smoke indicas I gain a lot of energy, but when I smoke sativas I get tired. When I researched, I found that it’s supposed to be the opposite. Is something wrong with me?
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Blaze: Absolutely not! The anticipated effects of a strain are pretty generalized. There’s no hard and fast rules for how marijuana is supposed to make you feel, think, etc. In fact, I think it’s pretty com mon for people to have various experienc es depending on the strain. I think it would actually be pretty bor ing if everyone had the same reactions, to be honest. I myself have had plenty of times when I’ve had a sativa and passed out on my couch immediately after or smoked an indica then proceeded to clean my entire kitchen. I say go with the flow and don’t let expectations ruin your experiences.
— DGO Pufnstuf — Sir Blaze Ridcully
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Trying to track down legal weed in the Four »Corners? Don’t stress; these dispensaries have you covered just so excellent. I also loved the effects. Much like the scent, the effects of New York City Diesel were freaking lovely. I found my self chatty, happy, and ready to discuss any and everything with anyone I could trap in my web of extroversion. It also shifted me into a bad idea machine, but I was very amused with the creativity that my grey matter was producing. If you need me to illustrate that point, I will tell you that I vaguely remember suggesting that we should start a new article series where we watch every single episode of Days of Our Lives while stoned and report on them. That, my friends, is what we call a terrible idea. That soap opera started in 1965 and has been on for 57 fricking seasons, which means there are ap proximately 14,000 episodes. It would take a literal eternity to watch them all — and I’d be beyond broke from replenishing my weed stash to do it. Still, at the time it seemed like a bril liant idea and I would not let it go. I also don’t want to let this strain go, and I mean that. It got to the point where I thought about swapping the review out with something else instead so I didn’t alert anyone else to the existence of this strain. I didn’t want y’all snatching up all the goods before I could replenish my stash (with approx imately an eighth containing three more giant nugs). But I know that’s selfish, and that ain’t my jam, so I guess I’ll share. If you want to jump on the New York City Diesel train, be my guest. Just please, please — I implore you — leave at least some of it on the shelves for the rest of us. It’s only fair.
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— DGO Pufnstuf You ever get that super heavy feel ing when you’re stoned? Like you’ve been turned to stone by Medusa and you are now a very smart statue? Well, that’s what this felt like. My brain was on smart and empathetic power mode, but my body was not. I was sluggish and oozing down the couch. So sluggish, in fact, that I must have just straight up passed out while talking. And, oddly enough, I do not even remember feeling tired. I just re member talking about, like, the origins of life or something as my limbs melted like candle wax, and then everything went black. I was star-wiped into sleep. And that sleep lasted. And lasted. And lasted some more. I didn’t wake up for hours, you guys. I was dead to the world. I don’t even remember dreaming about anything. It was just pure sleep. So, yeah. That was Nana OG for me. I was introspective, stoned, and cough ing, and then I was dead ass asleep. For that reason alone, this strain isn’t one for parties. You’ll be fine making conversation, but then you’ll be the awkward jerk who’s passed out on someone else’s couch all night when the sleep creeps in. It is a strain for insomniacs, though — and a great one at So,that.if you’re having trouble sleeping or just want to knock out some pain or something, this is a great strain to keep on hand. Just don’t bust it out when you need to be social or awake or whatever — or things could get super awkward. — DGO Pufnstuf one moment to the next. For exam ple, I went to fetch something about six feet away and by the time I got over there I had completely forgotten what I was looking for, walked away, remem bered again, walked back, and repeated the process. The gummy had clearly done its dirty work. My headspace was a woozy, hopeless case. Also, HOLY MOTHER OF ZUUL THE COTTONMOUTH. In fact, after writing that sentence I took a huge swig of water at the memory. If you’re going to drown your sorrows or loneliness (or whatever else you’re trying to drown) in these edibles, just be sure to have several gallons of water at the ready. I wish I was exaggerating. And yet, these dopey, dry-mouthed experiences did not keep me from devouring the entire bag over the next several days. And that, to reiterate, is because, dear reader, they were just so damnTheredelicious.areno ragrets here when it comes to Blue Kudu’s Fruit Juiced Gummies, except for that I only bought one bag. Also, I maybe slightly regret that I had no one to share them with, because, if you’ll recall, I’m a hermit. But learn from my mistakes, and the next time you find yourself able to visit a dispensary, be sure to pick up multi ple bags of these magic gummies.
— Sir Blaze Ridcully page
August 2022 | 27 based extraterrestrial beings that fight evil and rebel against their home planet. They wanted to save the Earth from their home planet, and in doing so becameEverything“wanted.”iscoated in glittery sparkles, calming pastels, and a nostal gic feeling that’s hard to place. Not to reveal any spoilers, but there are queer characters, nonbinary characters, and more. In other words, it’s a great one indeed.
3. Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts
Just like Steven Universe, this show, Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, isn’t entirely based around queer people. As of seasons one and two, the protag onist, Kipo, is considered cishet — but there are still a lot of underlying LGBTQ themes throughout, and it’s 100% worth your time and energy to watch. The story revolves around Kipo, a girl who has ended up on the surface of an Earth ravaged by change. She and her fellow humans lived underground in a more-or-less normalized society, away from the dangers of the mutated creatures above. However, for initially unknown reasons, she’s ended up at the mercy of the outside world. As her journey continues, she meets different animals and humans, making friends with most of them. She’s a kind and agreeable character, but unafraid to fight for what she believes is right. Again, not to spoil anything, but one character is not only gay, but also states this explicitly and has a crush on a boy later on in the program. It’s worth noting that Kipo is tech nically a program for children, but it appeals to people of all ages. It plays with the concepts of justice, love, con nection, self-empowerment, abandon ment, chosen family, and a lot of other nuanced and well-portrayed ideas. And, it also balances action with comedy and tender moments incredibly well. What we mean by that is that it’s just an allaround an amazing show.
4. Euphoria Euphoria has blown up recently — and for very, very good reason. In fact, you’ve probably seen a lot of people’s social media timelines flooded with Euphoria makeup tutorials, Eupho ria “lookbooks,” and everything else Euphoria.Thisshow features queer actors like Hunter Schafer, depicting queer love stories and other storylines from a queer point of view. That said, Euphoria is one of the darker and more “18+” shows on this list, tackling issues like sexual violence, self-harm, drug use, and showing more than its fair share of Regardless,nudity. many people felt that they identified with the show, and almost everyone who watched it loved the dra ma and rawness of the program. If you like very dramatic, raw, and authentic expressions of wild high school life, Euphoria may be the show for you. That said, this is by no means an extensive list, and there are queer characters and shows of all genres and countries. For example, there are Sense8, Transparent, Wandering Son, Baby, and so many more, so find what you like best and try it out. You won’t be disappointed. — DGO Staff
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