A worthy goal. We set so many goals in life. But when your life is struck by crisis or tragedy, you realize just how trivial so many of these goals are. You realize how superficial so much of your life is. It is unsettling, in a most liberating way. What are your goals? Are some goals better than others? Are some primary and others less important? What makes a worthy goal? Could it be we need new goals? Could it be we need something higher to aim at? These questions (and others like them) have us spinning in circles, wondering, confused, and exhausted. But perhaps life isn’t as complex and confusing as we make it out to be. Maybe we are the ones who complicate what is supposed to be beautifully simple. Reflect on this single idea: Do the most good you can. How would your life change if your only goal was to do as much good as possible? Being fully alive involves doing the most good we can. Living a life that is morally, ethically, and spiritually rich, has its roots in doing as much good as possible. Imagine what the world full of people striving to do good. Isn’t that the world you want to live in? isn’t that the world you want your children and grandchildren to grow up in? Imagine if we adjusted the way we approach just one area of life. How would the world be different if people chose a career based on their talents, the needs of the world, and the goal of doing the most good? This alone would unleash a tidal wave of goodness and joy in our world. How would the world be different if we used our money to do the most good possible? I know I can do better in this area. I buy things I want and don’t need,
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while others go without life’s most basic needs. I buy things for pleasure, which that money could be used to reduce suffering in the world. How would life be different if we spent less time watching television and more time doing good? Try it. Do as much good as you can… for a day, a week, a month. Make this a singular goal. Allow the power of goodness to pulsate through every aspect of your life. Observe how it transforms you, your relationships, your life. We are constantly chasing happiness, always wanting to improve our lives, and yet we ignore the obvious. There is a connection between personal happiness and goodness. If you want to improve your life – add goodness. I have suffered and you have suffered. Each in our own ways: heartbreak, injustice, cruelty, violence, betrayal, manipulation, bullying, gossip… When our lives are torn apart by these and other atrocities, it is natural to become sad, discouraged, or worse. At those times, I am reminded of something Mahatma Gandhi said, toward the end of his life, “When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall.” In the face of suffering, in the face of adversity, in the face of evil, if we set aside our capacity to generate good in this world our enemies have won. The smallest act of kindness ripples around the world like a stone dropped in a pond. Every act of goodness is procreative, generative. It gives birth to another act of goodness. When somebody does something loving, kind, and generous for us, our natural response is to do something loving, kind, and generous for someone else. This doesn’t make us extraordinary or special, just human. Every act of goodness gives birth to another act of goodness. 2
The good we do is never lost. It never dies. It lives on forever, in other people, in other places, and in other times. You may never know the far-reaching impact of the goodness you drop daily in the pond of life, but the ripples run on to the ends of the earth. There are those who would like to eradicate the idea that some things are good (and others are bad). They are essentially saying, goodness is no longer necessary in this post-modern secular world. No longer necessary? Goodness? What could be more necessary? What is more needed, here and now? The warm glow of goodness is not a figment of our imagination. There is nothing quite like it. I have witnessed in individuals of all ages. I have encountered it in communities on every continent. And I have felt it in myself. Allow yourself to be filled with goodness, and then, go out into the world and radiate goodness in every way possible.
Reasons. Despite all that I have endured, and because of all I have enjoyed, I am still a firm believer in God. He reveals himself to me in new ways with every passing year. And I see now more than ever that it is my limitations that limit my ability to comprehend God. I’m okay with that. I’m okay with mystery. I quite enjoy it actually. I like to sit in meditation and let a particular mystery wash over or allow myself to become completely immersed in a specific mystery. I don’t need all the answers. A little mystery is comforting. So much that happens in this world doesn’t make sense. Some of it doesn’t make sense at the time, but over time its meaning and purpose is revealed. Other aspects of our lives and the world mess doesn’t make sense now and perhaps never will in this lifetime. The benefit this has brought to my human relationships is that I no longer feel I need to understand people. Yes, over time, we inevitably come to understand the 3
people more and more in our lives. But even those we love the most, we know but a fraction of them. So, it seems to me to be a grand mistake to ever think we know and understand a person. When we make this mistake, we stop approaching them with wonder and curiosity and awe. We cease approaching each person as a mystery. Soon we may be spending time with them, but we are not really seeing them or hearing them, especially the nuances, and critically the ways in which they are changing. We should approach every person in our life as a mystery, catching glimpses and discovering more with each encounter, but never being shown the whole mystery. The other beautiful thing about getting comfortable with mystery and learning to enjoy mystery, is that you can finally enjoy yourself as a mystery. This allows you to notice things about yourself that you never did before, and it liberates you to grow and evolve. You don’t need to know all the reasons or have all the answers about things that happen in your life. You don’t need to be in control of everything that happens in your life. In fact, it requires a delusional level of arrogance to think that we can do either of these. I may not know the reasons, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I may not be in control, but that doesn’t mean that someone isn’t. I’m okay with mystery and I’d prefer God be in control than me or anyone else. My life has meaning and purpose. I believe that. It may only last for a blink of an eye in the context of eternity, but it has meaning and purpose. It makes me think of John Henry Newman’s reflection of his own life. I have reflected on these words many times over the years and have always found truth and comfort in them. “God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may 4
never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments. Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.” He knows what he is about. I love that line. I love that truth. There have been plenty of times in my life when I did not know what I was about. There have been other times when I knew, but I abandoned what I was about. But not God. God knows what he is doing. My heart and mind are often plagued with doubts, but I never doubt this. God knows what he is doing.
Will it get easier? Some things in life don’t get easier. It’s a harsh truth, but a truth nonetheless. Life is difficult and while some things do get easier over time, as we grow in knowledge, experience, and wisdom, there are other things, lots of them, that never get easier. Some examples. Relationships. Losing weight. Financial discipline. Forgiveness. Prayer. Lifting yourself out of a rut. Telling someone they don’t have a job anymore. Saying sorry. Connecting with your spouse after a disagreement. Losing someone you love. Listening. Reflecting on the sacrifices your parents made for you. Admitting you made a mistake. Controlling your temper. Growing old. Being fully present to the person in front of you right now. Overcoming a selfdestructive habit. Healthy thinking about self. Facing your demons.
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Life itself. Life doesn’t get easier. It is difficult. Wonderful, but difficult. We torture ourselves when we conflate good with easy and difficult with bad. The easy life is a myth, a mirage, an illusion. Those who chase this illusion end up resentful and disillusioned. It is worthy of note, however, that while we cannot make our lives easy, we can make other people’s lives a little easier. It is also important to be aware that the challenges and difficulties of life often help us clarify who we are and what is most important to us. They challenge you to be more of who you are meant to be. And they shift the paradigm from doing to becoming. Life is difficult. It doesn’t get easier, but if we develop a rich inner-life we get wiser.
Just do the next right thing. What are you feeling? Confused, conflicted, angry, numb, empty, betrayed, abandoned, afraid, sad, disgusted, rage, lonely, neglected, deceived, alienated, manipulated, rejected, belittled, disappointed, disgraced, helpless, resentful. Whatever it is you are feeling, just do the next right thing. Get yourself up off the floor of life and take just one step in the right direction. A single step is all it takes to shift the momentum of your life. No matter how great the darkness, step toward the light. Don’t worry about next week or next month or next year. Capture this moment. Your future begins now. Leverage the present moment to begin your future. Do the next right thing. And pay attention to how it feels.
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Human Flourishing There had been many times in my life when I had philosophically pondered, what does it take for a human being to flourish? In many ways, everything I had done for years was in search of a fuller, more complete answer to this question. Victor Frankl observed, “The quest for meaning is the key to mental health and human flourishing.” In order to flourish we need a sense of who we are, strengths and weaknesses, and what we are here for, the meaning and purpose of life. These set us up to accept self and others, strive for personal growth, and make a contribution to our family and community. Aristotle was the first to teach about human flourishing. He taught that a clear and explicit understanding of the end toward which a person’s life is aimed is essential to human flourishing. With the purpose of life clearly established, earthly happiness and flourishing are achieved through the attainment of virtue. Aristotle asserts that human achievements are animated by our greater purpose. Without this connection to the larger meaning of our lives, even the most extraordinary accomplishments can feel dissatisfying and empty. What is good for you? What causes you to flourish as a unique human being? What brings you lasting happiness in this ever-changing world? I have known the answer to these questions with uncommon clarity since I was fifteen years old. I appreciate that is somewhat unique, but I also believe I was given that foundation because it was essential to the work I was called to do. You are here to become the-best-version-of-yourself. As am I. This is the meaning, purpose, aim, goal, and end toward which our lives are directed. Though it is a direction we often ignore, avoid, and neglect. There are days when I wish that I could take a vacation from this clarity. But I cannot. Once known, it cannot be
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unknown. Once known, it affects everything we do, every aspect of life, without exception. In each moment of the day, I choose or reject the-best-version-of-myself. The more times I choose and embrace my best self, the happier I am and the more I flourish as a human being. I know that. But knowing a great truth does not make us wise. Wisdom is truth lived. Are you flourishing? Nothing makes human being flourish like truth, beauty, goodness, and wisdom. Take stock of these in your life. Are they more present in your life today than they were a year ago?
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